Christmas Special Part I

 This week on Pass, Pirate, Pay, it's a holly jolly Christmas special! We’re back with another round of Better Than Gigli, taking aim at The Rock's new holiday flick, Red One. Then, Ken and Andy unwrap their top 3 Christmas movies of all time. Grab some eggnog and tune in for some festive film fun! 🎄🎬 

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Chapters

• 0:00 Red One
• 28:17 Ken and Andy's Top 3 X-mas Movies

Transcript

- Woo!
Woo!
(upbeat music)
- Hello everybody and welcome once again
to Pass Pirate Pay, the movie discussion show.
My name is Ken, I'm your host,
and my long time, my co-host Andy.
- Hello Ken, hi Andy.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays to you.
- Hello, absolutely, happy winter solstice
that's coming up.
- And Festivist, joy Festivist.
- Festivist to you.
- Whatever you celebrate.
- That's right, I hope you're ready for today's
format busting episode of Pass Pirate Pay.
Instead of our usual trifecta of movies,
this week we're gonna be doing a special edition
to the Better Than Geely segment,
where I discuss Red One and see how it stacks up
or stacks down I guess against Geely.
And then we're gonna each be discussing
our three favorite Christmas movies of all time.
- Yeah.
- So it's kind of a naughty and nice thing, right?
You give me the punishment of sending me to see Red One.
Then we get to talk about some of my favorite things.
So it's a little bit of everything for the people.
- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think it's gonna be fun.
- Yeah.
- And this is part one of our Christmas episodes.
- Yeah, this is the first Christmas episode of the year.
We're gonna be doing at least one more, maybe more even.
There's plenty of Christmas movies.
- We've got a lot of Christmas to talk about.
- We don't wanna over Christmas everything though.
So I think just two is fine.
- Yeah, we'll see what happens.
- And then we'll do like, say a year end wrap up, I think.
- Yeah, that sounds pretty good.
- Like I said, we're gonna jump right into
another Better Than Geely segment.
- Okay, so hold on, the theme.
(funky music)
(funky music)
- Yeah, so you have this thing where I get to watch
these movies and you don't have to.
- I don't know how, it's more fun when you explain them to me.
- Yeah, of course, I get it.
I get it.
- Yeah, when I saw the trailer for this, I remember we were,
I was at Alien Romulus.
And they played that trailer before you and Mark got
to the theater and I was so sad because it looked like
the shittiest movie that had ever been made in the world.
And I was so sad you missed that trailer.
- Yeah, so this movie, what can I say?
I can say this, whole, whole holy shit.
This is a terrible movie.
- That's gonna be in the rotten tomatoes.
- Couldn't hear blurb.
(laughing)
- Yeah, this movie, you mentioned the trailer,
you already know exactly what this movie is.
You haven't seen it, but you know what it is.
Yeah, the trailer does an excellent job
of letting everyone in on exactly the kind of shit
that you're going to be getting into when you see this movie.
This movie is bad, I mean, very bad.
And it is bad in perhaps the most obvious way.
This might be the most obvious movie I've ever seen
in my entire life.
Like five minutes into the movie,
you already know exactly every beat
that the movie is going to hit.
There is nothing that is surprising.
So the movie, I guess a short recap is about Chris Evans plays
this internet troll guy who he can like track anybody
and he's just on the internet stealing stuff.
He's a criminal.
And he has to steal stuff because he's got a gambling problem
that's a bleakly mentioned a couple of times.
- Okay.
He helps a Christmas witch played by Keenan Shipka
from Madman of anybody seen Madman.
She was Sally Draper.
Chris Evans locates Santa using some geological equipment
that he hacks into.
So she's able to kidnap Santa
because she and Santa are both these immortal beings
and they're both very concerned with people being naughty
and nice, but every all of the immortal beings
in this in this movie.
And there are a bunch are very concerned
that Santa doesn't do enough to punish naughty people.
Like Santa just makes his list.
- I agree.
(laughing)
Santa makes his list and he checks it twice, right?
And if but if you're naughty, what's gonna happen?
Maybe you get a lump of coal, whatever.
But it never fucking happens.
- Right, of course.
- You knew some shit kids when you were growing up
and they got bikes and cool shit.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, exactly.
But you know, but Santa's thing is, you know,
we're just gonna punish,
we're gonna reward people for being good
and that's gonna be enough to make the world a good place.
And everybody else, especially this Christmas witch
is like, no, no, no.
So she kidnaps Santa and she's gonna use his power
to deliver these magic snow globes
to all of the naughty people in the world.
And when they open up their magic snow globes,
they'll be imprisoned within them.
- Oh Jesus Christ.
- That's the plot of the movie.
- Oh, dumb.
- Yeah, really, really.
- Let me say something.
JK Simmons plays Santa.
- JK Simmons is a Santa.
- And he's like, yo Santa.
- Santa.
- And the rock is still in Gerslanta.
- Yeah.
And the rock is his bodyguard.
- Okay.
- Basically, everybody in this movie is jacked.
Like there's this, I don't know if it's in the rock's contract
that he doesn't do movies with people who are not in shape.
Like, here's a major thing I don't understand about this movie.
The reason why Santa is yoked is never explained.
Like every mythology of Santa Claus,
every time we've ever seen Santa Claus is not in shape.
He is a jolly fat man.
And in this movie, he's in super shape
and he's doing 500,000 push ups day or something.
And it's just like, wait a minute, why is this happening?
Don't worry about it.
We're never going to explain it.
It's not important.
We're not talking about it.
- It's just dumb action.
- It's just dumb action movie.
- It's a dumb action movie.
- Exactly.
And there's a lot of like, I guess appealing to Republicans,
I'm going to get into that a little bit later.
The Djingo Wistik USA, USA crowd.
- Yeah.
- Because at one point, Santa is given an escort
from some fighter pilots from a US Air Force Base.
I mean, every aspect of testosterone, yeah.
Exactly, exactly right.
I mean, I just don't understand it.
And none of it is ever explained.
It's so stupid.
Another thing that happens is this is in the trailer
where Santa Claus goes up to the reindeer
and he's like, hello ladies, why are you all so excited?
And it turns out that the reindeer just
are into the rock or something because he's there
and it's like, oh, your boyfriend's here, right?
Except the reindeer all have giant antlers,
which means that they are male.
- No, female, no, female rainders have antlers.
- Do they really?
Yeah, are you sure about that?
- I'm pretty sure.
- Yeah, because female, female reindeer,
don't shed their antlers and males do.
- Is that true?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- All right, well then.
- And they shed them in the winter,
which means it is female reindeer
that are pulling Santa's sleigh.
- Really?
Yeah.
- I never knew that.
- I just read that today, actually.
- That's interesting.
- I'm not sure if it's true.
I think I saw it in the internet.
- It's different from deer deer, right?
'Cause female deer don't have antlers,
only bucks have antlers.
- Right, but I think reindeer are different.
- Okay, all right, well apparently red one
was trying to teach me a nature lesson
that I flat out ignore it.
- We will fact check that, and if I am wrong,
it will be cut out of the show.
- All right, well, I hope no one hears this part then.
(laughing)
But yeah, so once again, the reindeer are in love with the rock.
- Okay.
- And that is a one-off joke.
I'm guessing because they thought it would be funny
in the trailer.
Never ever mentioned again.
We're never talking about it again.
Let's just move on.
Like this is one of those things,
that countless times where something is mentioned
for a stupid joke or for any kind of reason
that it's never explained, but it then is never mentioned
because it doesn't serve the story at all.
- Nothing, nothing at all.
- That's a lot of fat.
- Yeah, it's in a story.
- Yeah, exactly.
So like I said, the movie tells you what it is right away,
right?
So the movie starts, I'm sitting in the theater
and I'm looking at my phone during the commercials
and stuff waiting for the movie to start.
And the movie starts with this just tremendously generic
music and dialogue, so much so that I think the movie
was probably going on for about 60 seconds
before I realized it, that it had started.
I looked up from my phone and was like,
"Oh, this is the movie."
I thought I was just listening to more commercials.
Like that's what's going on.
- It just has a commercial vibe.
- Yeah, exactly.
It just sounds like a commercial, ridiculous.
So we're introduced to Chris Evans' character.
He's about to break into some government building
so he can get the information that he needs
to hack the geological service to kidnap Santa Claus, right?
- Yeah.
- Before he goes into the building to get this stuff,
there's a baby there and the baby is looking at him
and he goes, "What are you looking at to the baby?"
So that's how we're supposed to know that he's an asshole, right?
- Okay.
- And then after he does what he needs to do,
he walks out and he walks past the baby again,
except now the baby is holding a lollipop.
And I bet you know where this is going.
Yes, that's correct.
Captain America steals candy from a baby.
(laughing)
That's how we know that he's an asshole, right?
Like, the census did that with Mr. Burns 25 years ago.
But it's just the easiest trick you can do is like,
"Oh, stealing candy from a baby."
That's how we know that this guy's an asshole.
But then it's also revealed that he has a son
that he is estranged from, the kid lives with his mom
and Chris Evans is an absentee dad.
And then we also learned that the rock
who is Santa's bodyguard is about to retire.
And he and Santa Claus have a very serious discussion
about why he's retiring.
- Okay.
- And the rock is very concerned about the naughty list.
Apparently the naughty list has grown by 22% year over year.
- Oh, I can't let that.
- And Santa is like, but it's about the children.
It's about the children in rocks like,
"I just can't see it anymore."
And it's a very serious discussion.
The world is getting too naughty and the rock can't handle it.
So right away, what we know is that Chris Evans
is going to learn how to be a good person,
be a good father to his son,
and the rock is going to rediscover
the true meaning of Christmas.
And spoiler alert, all of those things happen.
- Oh, no, you spoil.
- I know.
- Because no one could possibly have seen that coming
if they were watching this movie,
just never would have seen it coming.
Yeah, so this movie,
one of the big problems I have with it is,
so rock is very concerned about the naughty list
and how people are bad, they're bad people, right?
- Yeah.
- Except this movie's morality is very questionable.
Like, there's apparently some cosmic thing
in this universe where people who work for Santa Claus
can use every toy store in the world as like a portal
to jump from place to place.
- Oh, Jesus.
- This sounds just as convoluted as the trailer looks.
- Oh yeah, oh yeah.
So at some point.
- Giant mess of bullshit.
- Yeah, so at some point, they're in the United States
and the rock and Chris Evans are in a toy store
in the United States and they find that this guy
who they need to get in touch with
who to track down where Santa Claus has been taken to
after he's been kidnapped is in a ruba.
So they go into this toy store
and they go through the back room of the toy store
and then all of a sudden they're in a toy store in a ruba.
- Okay.
- And that's just the way things work, right?
But while they're in the toy store,
the rock has this wristband that he uses
to like he can grow and shrink things.
It's like a magic wristband.
He uses it for whatever magical purposes he needs basically.
Like there's another thing it's in the trailer
where he takes a matchbox car and he points his wristband
ray at it and it grows into the size of a regular car
and they jump in and drive, right?
So since they're in a toy store,
the rock's like, well, I have this magic thing
so I'm just gonna help myself to whatever I need
for this mission that we're on.
So the rock just rips off this toy store.
He just takes a whole bunch of shit
like he takes some rock 'em sock 'em robots
that they later use to beat some people up.
And he takes a monopoly set which is never used,
though nothing but the monopoly is ever done with
but he's, but rocks are steel.
- He thinks monopoly paid to be in the movie?
Maybe?
I don't know.
Is it a good idea for monopoly to be associated
with people stealing it from a toy store?
- I think they give a shit.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's the rock.
He was, what do you call it?
Common Deering.
- Yeah, those toys.
- Right, exactly.
So he steals--
- That's stealing.
- He steals whatever he wants from a toy store
and that's okay.
The morality of this movie seems to be
as long as you're doing the thing that I want you to be doing,
whatever you do is okay.
That ends justifies the man.
- Right, exactly.
And it reminded me, you know,
let's get a little political here.
I hate to do it but this is the way the movie brought me.
The way that Christians talk about Donald Trump,
these fucking born again assholes in this country
who have somehow embraced the biggest scumbag in the country
as the Paragon of Christian virtue.
And when you ask him how they do it is like,
well, no, he's doing the Lord's work.
It doesn't matter that he's a fucking scumbag.
- Yeah.
- He's doing what he needs to be done
and that is exactly the ethics of this movie.
- Okay.
- At some point they go meet Krampis who is--
- I saw that in the trailer.
- He's Santa Claus's brother.
- Okay.
- And so they go to meet him and they say some stuff
that Krampis doesn't like and Krampis decides
that he's going to kidnap the rock for all of eternity.
And Chris Evans has a brilliant idea where he's like,
well, no, because the Krampis is doing this.
He's having a slap fight with people.
That's apparently how he spends his time.
- Of course, slap fighting is very popular now.
- Yeah, right.
- And Krampis is this gigantic jacked being.
He's like twice the size of the rock.
And it's like, oh no, the rock's never gonna be able
to win a slap fight against this guy.
Except when he and Chris Evans have been arrested,
they've stolen the rock's magic wristband.
But Chris Evans, he's like, no, here's it.
I'll make a deal with you, Krampis.
If my boy beats you in a slap fight,
you have to let us go.
And so sure enough,
that Chris Evans winds up pickpocketing the person
who has the rock's magic wristband,
puts it back on his wrist so that he can slap
the shit out of Krampis and it can run away.
And he's like, well, you know, we made this deal with this guy,
but it's okay if we cheat on the deal that we made
because we're doing the thing that we need to do
at this point.
Which doesn't stop Krampis from tracking them down
at during the climactic fight against the Christmas witch
and helping them out for who the hell knows why.
Krampis is like, he just decides that he's on their side now.
After he was cheated out of a slap fight,
he's like, well, I had a change of heart
because apparently the Christmas witch
is Krampis' ex-girlfriend.
The enemy of my enemy.
- Yeah, yeah, I guess.
- My friend, right?
- But he's also indicating that he's still into the Christmas witch.
It's all, none of it makes any kind of sense.
I swear if you're trying to make sense of this movie,
you're totally wasting your time.
None of it means anything.
It's all completely without a meaning of any kind.
It's just nonsense.
The movie is nonsense.
Cheat to win is the lesson of this movie.
That's what we learn.
That's what we're teaching everyone with this movie.
- What about on the trailer,
I saw like some big Jack Snowman?
- Oh yeah, that's a thing that happens.
Are you gonna get to that or to do?
- You don't really, there's not really anything there
other than what's in the trailer.
The giant Jack Snowman show up.
And oh yeah, so the way this movie does fight scenes,
the rock is involved in a lot of fight scenes
because while switch put the rock in a movie,
- Right, yeah.
- And the thing that he does over and over again
throughout this movie is use his magic wristband
to shrink himself down to like three quarter size
and become like, I don't know, more nimble and faster, I guess.
So there's a lot.
- So there's a lot.
- Yeah, like three, yeah, he's like not significant in the owner.
I guess he's not significantly smaller,
but he is small enough to like get out of the bear hugs
that the snowman are putting him in and stuff.
I don't know.
- Okay.
- So it's all done with like really cheesy looking CGI
and the rock shrinks down and he's moving,
he's moving in super speed because he's smaller
and beating people up in that way
and that's how they get out of the snowman fight.
Yeah, the way the snowman fight is resolved finally
is that the rock takes off the carrot nose of one of them
and the snowman just melts.
And it's like, oh, the carrot is their weakness.
So if you just remove the carrot from the snowman.
- It's good to know.
- Yeah, if you ever attacked by a 10 foot tall
jacked snowman, just go for the carrot.
That's the answer.
Don't as the rock, the rock also attempts to kick one of the snowman
in the balls because that's, you know,
that's what you do in this movie.
A lot of people get and kick them the balls.
- That is a staple of a high comedy.
- Yeah, but it doesn't work.
Can't kick a snowman in the balls.
They don't have snowballs.
- And they just gotta, you just gotta go for the carrot.
That's the thing, see?
- Another thing, like, yeah, another thing that I,
I thought was really weird.
At this point, at some point during the movie,
various people who work for Santa Claus,
they call Chris Evans a shitbag and asshole,
a dickhead, various names like this.
And it's like, is this a kids movie?
Like, what the fuck are we doing here?
These are the good guys.
And they're just like, listen, shitbag.
Like, this is just, I just don't understand.
I mean, I guess if you're a, if you're a 10 year old,
you're gonna love it.
10 year olds would probably like this movie a lot, I guess.
- Yeah.
- I guess the point I've tried to make.
- I don't know, man.
I have found that kids don't even like bad movies.
- Yeah.
- But I don't know nothing about what kids like.
- I know if I were a parent, I would not want to subject
my kid to this movie.
I would not want my kid learning the lessons this movie
has to offer or developing an artistic sensibility
that thinks that this movie is okay.
I just like, I just, I wouldn't want anything
to do with it at all.
- Oh.
- It sounds like a real shitburger.
- Yeah, it's not good at all.
- Do you think like when they were pitching this movie,
they were like, listen, there's a whole demographic
of people that will love this movie?
- Yeah.
- First of all, it's got the rock.
- Yeah.
- We don't have to make it like smart.
We shouldn't make it smart.
- Yeah.
I think you're right.
I think the, we'll put some patriotic stuff in there.
- Yeah, I think the Larry the Cable Guy crowd
is going to love this movie.
I really do.
- Yeah.
- And it's got cool car chases and it's got the rock
and it's got, you know, bite scenes and, and,
Marica and, yeah, it's, it's, it's, doing all the things
to appeal to people who I don't want to talk to.
- It's got the leader of the Aryan group in Oz.
(laughs)
- JK Simmons, I mean, I hope he got paid a hell
of a lot of money for this movie.
I really do.
- Yeah, like JK Simmons, I was watching like a wrap up
of his career, like on YouTube, they do those,
like variety, we'll do like, they'll go through
their whole career and, and he has had the highest of highs
and just some mediocre shit.
- Yeah.
- Like he, like the same time he was doing whiplash,
the same time he was doing like all this,
he was the yellow M and M.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- You know?
- But, yeah, I mean, this is an all time
a deer for him, like he is, he probably had to work out a lot too.
He's not a young man.
- Right, but I mean, you saw him in whiplash,
he's in shape, that man's in shape.
- Yeah, for sure.
- And he was in shape and Oz did.
- Yeah, yeah, he just keeps himself fit, I guess.
So he's probably, he didn't have to do all that much
in this movie.
The problem I have is that, like, I don't understand why
he's in this movie.
I don't, I understand why he would do it.
The answer is money, but I don't understand why
they would want him.
I guess to try to attract people who care about good movies,
I don't really know.
But, like, and he's a good actor, like,
- He's a good actor, but he is not a good Santa Claus.
I would rate his jolliness level in this movie
as somewhere between his character in whiplash
and his character in Juno.
Like, right, right around there.
Not more jolly than whiplash and certainly than Oz.
But, like, not more jolly than Oz, you see?
- Yes, that's correct.
But, but, but, but, but, but, I would not say
that he is a particularly jolly old Saint Nick.
I just probably, who would be a better pick?
- Man, I don't know.
Somebody more Santa like John Goodman?
- I don't know.
- Do you think we were sitting around and going,
"Yo, bra, we need a Santa, but we don't want no fat fuck."
- Who was in the old guy?
- We don't want no dumpy fat fuck as I said.
No dumpy fat fucks in this movie at all.
- But it needs to be old.
So who's the old guy who's in shape?
- He's like, "Brah, what about that dude from whiplash, bra?"
- Could be, could be.
- You're a genius, rock.
- I just, I just, I, yeah, he is a great actor
who is totally miscast in this movie
and like, slumming it doesn't even begin to describe
what he is doing.
- Oh, yeah, I imagine, yeah.
- So then the movie ends with, when Santa and the rock
are having their discussion about how the rock
needs to find his Christmas spirit again,
Santa's like, "You just can't see it, can you?
"You can't see it."
And it's like, "Well, what is he talking about?
"We don't really know."
So apparently what he needs to be seeing is adults
as the children that they once were
and that will fill him with the Christmas spirit.
So the movie ends with Chris Evans and his kid
reconnected on Santa's sleigh and the rock is looking at them
and then Chris Evans becomes himself as a child
and that's how we're at, that's how we end this thing.
- So that's it, that's what I have to say about red one.
- All right, it sounds like a true piece of shit
that I will be skipping.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's a pass for me.
- Yeah, that's gonna be a pass.
So let's get into a Geelyometer before we end.
- Yeah, let's get into the Geelyometer, I am curious.
- If this is your first, better than Geely episode,
we've got three categories in each category,
Geely scored a nine.
So if a movie will be worse than Geely in that category,
it gets a 10 otherwise we'll see where they go.
So here are the categories.
The first category is disrespect for the audience's intelligence.
- Okay.
- And I give red one a seven out of 10.
- Hi, it's a high score.
Not quite as bad as Geely, Geely again has a hit woman
whose heart is melted by a mentally challenged young man.
So what is the title of this category exactly?
- Disrespect for audience intelligence.
- Do you think that it knows exactly
the audience intelligence?
And yes, and I think it has no respect for it.
- Okay.
- I was like, yeah, the morons who are going to like this movie,
this is a movie, fuck them, we hate them.
We're going to feed them exactly what they want
'cause they are morons.
That's what I hate this movie thinks.
- Fair enough.
- That's what I think.
The second category is waste of resources,
both human and financial.
- Well, I imagine this is going to be pretty high.
- Yeah, so this movie cost, I looked it up,
it said it cost about $350 million.
- Oh, that's a lot.
- That's a lot of money.
And I can't really tell the CGI is a lot,
but it doesn't seem, oh, it doesn't seem that great.
I don't really know where it went,
but the human resources, there are a lot of people
whose names you know in this movie,
but I would say that Lucy Lewis in this movie,
and Chris Evans and the rock and Kurnichipka,
but I would say that the only person who's acting ability,
I really respect in this movie is JK Simmons.
So I don't really think it's that much
of a waste of human resources.
Chris Evans is okay, but he's done so many fucking shit.
- But a Marvel movie.
- Massive waste of money.
They waste the money for sure.
- Do you know what the box office is on that?
- I have not looked it up.
I'm sure it's a lot.
I'm guessing this movie's a hit.
- So the domestic is 78, 78 million, almost 79.
International 73 worldwide, 152.
- 152 million.
- 152 million, huh?
And this is, at this time recording,
this is this movie's been out for what about a month?
- Released date was November 15th.
- Okay, so about three weeks.
- Uh-huh.
- So yeah, it's probably not gonna make its budget back,
so that's a pretty big waste of money.
- Yeah.
- They're gonna affect your score?
- Yeah, I'm gonna bump it up one.
I had it as a five.
I'm gonna make it a six.
- I'm gonna put this as a six for a waste of resources.
- All right.
- And the final category is unpleasantness of viewing experience.
- Yeah.
- I did not enjoy watching this movie.
I don't know if I made that clear, but no perks, no small nuggets of,
- No, there is nothing worthwhile about this movie.
But because it is bad in such an expected way,
it didn't really make it that painful for me.
- It wasn't terribly offensive.
- It was like, right.
Like listeners of our show will be happy to learn that I enjoyed the viewing experience
of red state less than I enjoyed the experience of watching red one.
- Okay.
- I found that to be more unpleasant.
So that is also gonna be a seven.
The three scores are seven, six, and seven,
which is gonna be a grand total of 20 out of 130 on the Geelyometer.
- That's pretty high.
- It's pretty high.
Geely was a 27.
This is a 20.
So just so we're all aware on the past pirate pay scale,
this movie is a pass.
Do not see red one if you value your time or money or anything.
- We have to assume that all of the better than Geelys are gonna be a pass.
There might be a shocker in there.
- One never knows.
- I might be a pirate somewhere in there.
- Exactly.
I am here for you listeners to watch these movies so you don't have to.
But if by any chance there is a movie that you should watch,
I will be here to let you know that as well.
- Yeah.
- That's very true.
Do you think that one day there might be like a rocky horror,
like so bad that it's good?
- I can't rule it out, but I think that critics are,
we're doing by Rotten Tomatoes mostly, right?
- Yeah.
- So critics I think are aware of the so bad,
it's good phenomenon.
- Sure.
- And I think that something will escape the bottom bottom of the Rotten Tomato board.
- Right, but it could be just for you though.
- Oh, it could be.
- Yeah.
- It could be like this movie is so bad that I had kind of a fun time.
- Yeah.
- I'm just hypothetically.
- Yeah.
- I certainly think it is possible.
- I, you know, what is one of those for you?
Maybe Joker?
- No, I cause I don't actually think,
you're talking about Joker fully, I do.
- Joker too, yeah.
- No, cause I don't actually think that that's bad.
So I don't think that movie is so bad, it's good.
I actually think it's just kind of good.
- Is there a movie out there that is so bad that it's good for you?
And maybe others don't agree.
- Well, as we discussed in our MNI channel,
in episode, I think people think that about the happening.
I really enjoy the happening.
I think it is hilarious.
- Yeah, I think that, yeah.
- But in my opinion, that movie is intentionally as bad as it is.
So I think that is--
- Oh, because you have a conspiracy theory.
- Right, I don't think that that movie is an unintentional comedy.
I think that is an intentional comedy.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
- I guess we'll see.
- Yeah, it will see.
- As we explore, indeed.
- All right.
(upbeat music)
- Woo!
Woo!
(upbeat music)
All right, for the second half of our first Christmas episode,
like I said, we're gonna be doing our top three Christmas movies
of all time.
So I figured we could each count down our favorites.
Yeah, so let's just jump right into it, Andy.
What would you say is number three on your list
of the three best Christmas movies of all time?
- So number three on my list.
And all three of these movies,
I try to watch every year.
And I usually succeed sometimes, I miss one,
but I usually watch all three.
- I have the same for my three.
I also try to watch all three of my three.
- So my number three is love actually.
- Okay.
- I saw love actually in the theater when it came out
and I just thought it was fantastic.
I loved how it was a little irreverent.
I loved how they interwoven the stories together.
I thought that was really brilliant.
I thought there was some incredible acting.
- Yeah.
- I love the cast.
The cast of love actually is very--
- Yeah, the cast is just giant heavy hitters.
And there is a scene, and it's a famous scene now.
It's the Emma Thompson Allen Rickman storyline.
- Okay.
- Where he buys a necklace for the office tart
and she finds it in his coat pocket, right?
And then puts it back.
And then she opens a present on Christmas Eve
and it's a Joni Mitchell CD.
- Okay.
- It's the same shape as the box.
- Yeah.
- And she realizes that necklace was not for me
and she knows that something's going on with the tart.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And she goes, "Ah, let me just excuse,
"she's opening present to the kids
"and she'll let me just excuse myself."
So she goes in a bedroom and Joni Mitchell's
both sides now is playing and it's not the young Joni Mitchell
version, it's the old real slow Joni Mitchell version
where it's like a few octaves down and satir.
- Okay.
- And both sides now I think is one of the greatest songs
I've ever written.
It's one of my favorite songs on earth.
- I don't think I know the older Joni Mitchell version.
I don't think I--
- It's so--
- I've never seen love actually.
- It's not for a whole time.
- It's so good, especially that song.
Because it talks about love and life
and seeing it from two different sides.
And then you have this other side of Joni Mitchell
who is old and wiser and it's not that little thing high voice.
It's like, "I've looked at love from both sides."
And it's like, "It's beautiful, man."
And while this song is playing,
the CD that she got, you know, it's on that CD
and she is breaking down just by herself in this room.
It's worth, there's no dialogue.
And it's just an incredible moment of acting
backed by an incredible song
and there's so many layers to it.
And that's just one moment.
There's a million moments in this movie
that I absolutely adore.
And it's just a fun, good, lighthearted movie
and what I also love about it is that it looks at love
from a ton of different angles.
You know, you see love dissolving like that,
but you see like unrequited love.
You see young puppy love.
You see the Martin Freeman story
where he's the body double with the naked girl.
I love that because they're doing this filthy thing
but their conversation is completely pure and innocent.
- Right.
And it's just that there's so many layers
and it's just for the Bill Nyey stuff.
Where he's the old rocker.
- He's great.
- I just love the whole thing.
What do you think of love actually?
- I haven't seen it in a long time,
but I, so I didn't see it in the theater.
I saw it several years later,
but it's probably been 10 years since I've seen it now.
- Yeah.
- And this is another one, you know,
I talked about my romcom thing where I,
when I was a kid, I just didn't get it.
And I did not expect the like this movie,
but when I saw it, I really liked it.
It's definitely a really good movie.
- Yeah.
- It's one of my third favorite Christmas movies.
- Nice.
- That's awesome.
(laughs)
- What is your third favorite Christmas movie?
- My number three is Elf.
- Elf.
- Yeah.
Directed by John Favreau.
So this is another movie that is surprising to me
how much I like it,
'cause Will Ferrell is not one of my favorites.
As there are not a lot of Will Ferrell movies
that I really like.
And I think this is either this or Ankerman
is absolutely his best movie.
I think this is the absolute best use
of the whole Will Ferrell stick.
You know, like his overgrown manchild thing.
- Yeah.
- It's just the whole thing, you know.
And usually when he's doing it,
he's doing it in like a kind of malicious asshole way.
But in this movie, he's just so innocent and pure.
And he's just like a, he's just a kid
and he's just bumbling into all of these hijinks.
- Yeah, I think Elf is like a movie that very,
very easily could have gone very wrong.
- Yeah.
- But just didn't.
- Yeah.
- Just avoided it.
- The cast in this movie,
there's so many people just doing like fantastic work
in this movie.
So James Conn plays his dad, Will Ferrell's dad.
And he's like so gruff and monosilobic the whole time.
And he works for this president
of some children's book publishing company.
- Yeah.
- And he's got two bumbling idiot writers
and they're played by Andy Richter and Kyle Gas
and they're hilarious.
And at one point, they need a new children's books
that they bring in this like legendary children's writer
who's played by Peter Dinklage.
And Dinklage is so like, he's not playing Peter Dinklage
in this movie.
He's like so like pissed off and serious the whole time.
And it's really, really funny.
Bob Newhart is the Elf who raised Will Ferrell
with the North Pole.
And he's just doing Bob Newhart
and Bob Newhart in any thing is funny.
- It's just always funny.
- Yeah, I just love it.
And then Zoe Deschanel is the love interest.
Like she's just so perfect.
She looks elfin herself.
- Yeah, so it is.
- But yeah, she's just great.
The music in this movie always gets me.
There are a couple of like really great montages
set to these awesome needle drops
when Will Ferrell first arrives in New York.
They're playing pennies from heaven
and as he's walking around the city
and just getting into like stupid little mischief
and that scene is really funny.
And then when he's going on a date with Zoe Deschanel,
other playing, you make me feel so young.
And it's just like one of those movie moments of pure joy.
Like it just makes me so happy every time I watch that scene.
The scene ends basically with them
going to see the giant Christmas tree
at Rockefeller Center and Will Ferrell
is of course like in awe of this giant Christmas tree.
And it just fills me with so much happiness.
Like I just, man, I just love it.
And then Zoe Deschanel does a lot of singing.
She's singing Christmas songs in this movie
and her voice is just so perfect.
And then the climactic scene of the movie
gets everybody in New York to start singing
to get Christmas cheer to make Santa's life life.
So Zoe Deschanel starts singing Santa Claus is coming to town
and then Mary Steenberg, who plays James Conn,
was wife, she's the second one who joins in
and she cannot sing at all.
Like she's totally toned out
and it just works so perfectly.
That's just great.
I just love Elf.
It makes me really happy.
Who plays Santa in the movies?
And Ed Atter?
Yeah, Ted Atter.
And he's great.
He's certainly way more Santa like than J.K. Simmons.
Yes.
Yes.
But yeah, so that's it.
Elf, I just, I love Elf
and I watch it literally every year, Christmas.
I was watching Will Ferrell do a thing about it.
And he said he wanted to do all of it
in like rank and bass.
Oh, yeah.
And he said,
"I'm going to do a Christmas party."
Yeah.
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
Yeah.
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
And he said, "I'm going to do Christmas party."
Yeah. And Rudolph the Red Nose Rain Dairy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One point, uh, well, he's at the North Boy's leaving the North Pole. The animals, the, you know, there's a penguin and a polar bear and they're waving him goodbye. Yeah. Yeah. And this giant gnar wall comes out of the out of the water and all the animals are scared and like, oh no, what's this going to be for the gnar walls is like, bye buddy.
This is like a happy new man. Oh, goodbye, Mr. gnar wall. You know, this is really adorable. I don't know. Yeah. This is one of those movies.
It just just makes me feel good when I'm watching it. Yeah. It's a great movie. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
So what's your number two? So my number two is scrooge. Oh, scrooge with Bill Murray. Love it.
I remember I saw this movie with my whole family in the theater when it came out. It was the first time because I was young.
I was playing junior high probably like 13 or something. And it was the first time I got a Christmas Carol. Okay.
It was the first time I realized what it was. You know, I knew about it and, you know, I'd seen different versions and everything.
But when I saw that, I was like, okay, I get it. And I just think it's really funny.
It's like if Saturday night live did a Christmas Carol, you know, like a Saturday night movie. Yeah.
And I think Bill Murray is really good in that like at playing sincere. Uh-huh.
Like when he makes the change, I believe it. Right. You know, there's a lot of the movie where he's doing
asshole Bill Murray stuff. Yeah. But like the stuff in the ghost of Christmas past stuff.
Like when he first meets Karen Allen. Yeah. And then like you said, after the change, I think that stuff is great.
I think yeah, really great at that. Yeah. And I think all the ghosts. I mean, the ghost of Christmas features is weird costume.
Right. But Carol Kane and Buster Pointed Officer both great are David Johansson, whatever is.
Whatever is. New York Dolls guy. Yeah. Uh, I think they're really good.
I thought David Johansson would go on to do a lot more acting, but he kind of didn't. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, because he was really good in that. Yeah. I mean, the biopic of that guy's life would be quite interesting.
Yeah. He's done some crazy shit. Yeah. The whole New York Dolls thing is a whole thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
But yeah, I just I really liked it. I think Karen Allen was really good in it. Yep. She is.
She's really good. John Forsythe as the Marley. Marley ghost. Yeah. Bobcat.
Goat. Wait. Oh, he's great. It's so funny. It's crazy. So funny. Yeah.
I love it. Yeah. I just think there is so many quotable lines in it. And it's just it's it's it's it's my favorite version of a Christmas Carol.
And there there's a lot of good one. Yeah. Like do you have a favorite version of a Christmas Carol? I think mine is scrooge also. Yeah.
Yeah. I think it's the best movie version that I've seen for sure. I like them up at Christmas Carol. I like Mickey's Christmas Carol. Also. Yeah.
That one. That one's pretty good. Did you see the one with the the mini series with Guy Pierce? No, I didn't see that one.
So I always watch them and there's some ship burgers like I didn't like the CG one with Jim Carrey. Yeah. Yeah.
I thought that one was stupid. It was like polar Expressie and I didn't like it. Yeah. I the original black and white one.
I haven't seen it in a very long time, but it didn't really do anything for me. No, it's just kind of just kind of straightforward.
Just Christmas Carol. Yeah. But the guy Pierce one. It was like a gritty like realistic like a hard nasty look at scrooge.
And the moment I knew this was like a different animal. Yeah. Was when because it's a mini series that they fill a lot of time, right?
So Bob Cratchett's wife. Okay. Comes to scrooge to ask for money for for tiny Tim. Uh-huh. And scrooge is like, yeah, I'll give you money.
But you got to do something for me. Oh, shit. And she like fucks him. What? That real? That really? Yeah. And she like and she hates it. She hates it. She's doing it.
And he's like, yes, rude dick. Jesus. And he, and he fucks her. And like, and I remember thinking like, okay, when scrooge makes his turn around, how is he going to like circle this square when he's bringing in the fucking goose.
Yeah. Fuck. And he does. He like, he brings up the goose and he's like, he said, I'll pay for all the medical stuff because it were cool, right?
Oh, my God. I guess we're cool. Does he tell Bob Cratchett? No, no, no. She's fine. Never finds out. I've never find out. Oh, my God.
Let me ask you this. Does your opinion of scrooge go down at all knowing that the very first opening scene probably led to the existence of red one?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's actually led to a few, I think. Yeah, that's true. There have been a few like, you know, bar and ass Santa Claus.
Bad ass Santa Claus. But his fat man was one of them. Yep.
A violent night is one of them. Yep. And then this whole fucking thing. Oh, my God. When I saw the trailer for red one, the only thing I could think of was, oh, God, it's scrooge. We're just in Scrooge's world now.
So yeah, Scrooge is my second favorite Christmas movie. All right. I love Scrooge. Your second pick can is what? All right. My number two is Gremlins.
Yeah, the original. This is kind of iffy as a Christmas movie. Yeah, so it's kind of die hearty.
The people's yeah, so little less, I think I think Gremlins is way more Christmasy than die. It is.
It is. So yeah, I was looking up today on letterbox. They had a list of their 25 highest ranked Christmas movies by their users, right?
Okay. And all of our movies are on there except for Gremlins. And it says in the intro that Gremlins was actually released as a summer blockbuster.
Which blew my mind. He's not released during Christmas. Yeah. And so it's die hard for sure. Yeah, that matter.
Uh-huh, but that makes more sense. This could. Gremlins feel so Christmassy to me. There's a lot of scenes that are very Christmasy.
There's Christmas music all over the place. They're watching Christmas movies every time. Every scene is snowy outside.
I mean, it just feels like winter and Christmas to me. But anyway, this movie is, uh, it's not a feel good classic.
Like elf. This movie is a lot more acidic. I think my absolute favorite scene in Gremlins and my one of my favorite scenes in any movie ever.
Yeah. Is when Phoebe Kate is discussing why she hates Christmas because she's talking enough of the home movie about how she doesn't sell the bad Christmas at all.
Yeah. And she's discussing why she hates Christmas. And she tells the story of how her father on Christmas Eve never came home.
And she and her mom are like, what's going on? Where? Where's dad? Where's dad? And days go by and the police are looking for him and nobody can find him.
And then one day like five days later, it's cold in the house. So she decides she's gonna like fire. And she's like, and that's when I noticed the smell.
And then the like the kicker, the punchline of the story is, and that's how I learned that there was no Santa Claus.
But that slipped broke his neck, climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve and they found him by lighting his ass on fire.
Oh boy. And we talked recently about Gremlins to the new batch. Yeah.
This scene, I really, is so, so iconic that they kind of run it back in Gremlins to where somebody says something about Abraham Lincoln and Phoebe Kate's is like,
Oh, don't even talk to me about Abraham Lincoln. There was this one time in the park where this guy in a trench coat and a beard like Abraham Lincoln came up to me.
And somebody's like, Oh, don't even talk about that. We don't have time for that. Oh, okay. But they like to see us so good. We got to run it back.
But yeah, I just love that scene. And like, this is also like, this is a kids movie, right? And you're just flat at saying in this kids movie Santa Claus is not real does not exist.
Yeah. Like, I think that's where I found, I remember I found out about that Santa Claus that exists from different strokes.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
They did an episode about I don't remember when I made that discovery. Well, actually, I made the discovery when I I snuck in.
I did a little scientific experiment. And I pretended to be asleep and I snuck in the living room and saw a mom and dad putting all the shit together.
Yeah. See, I never did that. I was a good kid. I always just believed until I didn't, I never, once I realized there was no Christmas,
I just kept pretending for a little while. There was no Santa. Even when I found that out, I still kept pretending. Yeah.
But, but I knew. Yeah. But yeah, Gremlins, it's just a lot of fun. It's just a, it is a really fun movie. I love Gremlins when I came out. I loved it.
The Gremlins are just assholes. Like, they, they, they, they do some murdering, you know, so it's, it's kind of, it's kind of, they do, but
I said that woman up the stairs on the right. Yeah. Yeah. They shoot Mrs. Diggle out of the out of her, out of her bedroom window on her, on her stair climbing chair thing.
But mostly they're just being dicks, right? Like, they spit on the floor and they, they like tie the dog up to the outside of the house within the Christmas lights.
Yeah. There's a scene where they're all watching Snow White in this movie theater. All the Gremlins are there. Yeah.
Just like throwing popcorn in this green. They're totally assholes. Just, just, just, just dicks. And they're having a good time. It's really fun.
But there's also like some really fun horror movie-ish kind of stuff in this movie. Yeah, there is.
When the science teacher who's played by Glenn Termin, who would later be the mayor of Baltimore on the wire. Okay. One of my favorites, but he's being stalked by a Gremlin and, and like, it's really intense. And then the Gremlin winds up killing him.
And the scene where Billy's mom is also being stalked by Gremlins and she ends up putting one of them in the microwave and exploding him. Yeah.
You know, that's, that seems a lot of fun. But that's, that's like a really tense scene too. Like, it's a, it does a good job.
Yeah, it's skirt saline of being like a comedy and a horror. Really well. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And also the father is this inventor whose inventions are all completely idiotic and they never work right.
And some of that stuff is really funny. Yeah. As I was watching the movie again this year, I noticed for the first time, they're in his workshop and he's just got inventions all around.
And one of the inventions that's sitting on his desk, I'd have no idea what it's supposed to be. It's an artichoke hooked, hooked up to a couple of wires that lead to a speaker.
I'm like, what the fuck is this? Is somebody just some prop guy? I don't know. Just as I had less fat in there. That's going to be really funny. And I never noticed it before this time. And I was like, Oh, shit. That's just really funny.
But yeah, it's just a fun movie. Like Gizmo is adorable and the Green Windsor is. I love Gizmo, man. I have, I had a stuffed Gizmo. As did I. Me too. I loved it. Yeah. So Gremlins is my number two.
So we both have the same number one. Yeah. We discussed this ahead of time and we were unsurprised to find that we both have the same number one.
What is it? Can our favorite movie of Christopher movie all time is it's a wonderful life. It's a wonderful life. Yeah. It is the best.
So we should discuss the history of it's a wonderful life. Yeah. It's really similar to the Wizard of Oz.
Right. We're kind of flopped in theaters. Oh, yeah. Big time. It didn't do very well. Yeah.
And because it didn't do very well, it was cheap for TV companies to buy it and just run the shit out of it. Exactly.
On Christmas. Yep. And you and I were both talking that we both remember when they used to do that. Yep. It was on constantly. Yeah.
They just ran it a thousand times on 10 different stations. Yeah. When they did that, I never actually sat down and watched it.
Yeah. I had never seen it either until very much later in life. It seems like that's kind of a running joke in other Christmas movies where people talk about it to wonderful life.
And then some character will be like, oh, you know, I've never seen that. We've never seen it. That's crazy. Yeah.
We and I were both one of those people. We just it was always on and yet somehow we never watched it. Right. Yeah.
And I remember the first time I watched it, I think it was about 16 or 17. Uh-huh.
And there was a colorized version of it, which is terrible. Right.
But it was just on, right? And I ended up catching it in the beginning.
And I watched it all the way through and I'm like, God damn, this is a really good movie. Yeah.
Yeah. My first time, so I, my mother, I hate this movie.
And so when I was growing up, she's just like, we're not watching that. And I didn't know anything about it.
So it's just like, okay, this movie must be terrible. I'll never watch it. Right.
And then it was right after I graduated college the first time I watched it.
And I was, I hadn't found a job yet. So I was back living at home.
And I was just taking movies, VHS tapes out of the public library.
So I was just going through all of these old movies that I could find.
Because I just wanted to, I was super getting into movies at that point.
Yeah. Because I really get into movies until I was in college.
Right. So I was just getting into movies and I just decided, oh, it's a wonderful life.
I'll give that a shot. And I, it's same thing. I was like, holy shit.
This movie is incredible. Yeah.
It's so good. Yeah.
You know, and so it's like, I mean shit.
Like, listen, yeah, I'm a fat old man. I'm a diolone.
Movies are all I have.
And sometimes I just want to feel things.
You know what I mean?
Yeah. And this movie makes me feel this.
Yeah.
The last, what, 20 minutes of this movie, it just like makes my heart, I'm like the Grinch
when my heart grows three sizes.
Yeah. It just swells up my heart.
And I'm crying the whole time.
And it's just so beautiful and wonderful.
I just absolutely love it.
The only thing George Bailey wants is to get out of,
Yep.
What's the, what's the town called?
Bedford Falls. Bedford Falls.
The only thing he wants is to get out of Bedford Falls.
Yeah.
His old boss gets him a real nice trunk. Yeah.
He just, he can't wait to get out, right?
And every instance where he's going to get out something that drags him back in.
Yeah. His dad dies in he has to run the thing.
Or the depression happens.
And he has to come back and can't go on his honeymoon even.
Yeah.
You know, yeah.
And it's just, and he's, he's so selfless.
It's just a great movie.
Yeah. He's so great.
And it's a longish movie.
It's like two and a half hours long, right?
And the first two hours of the movie are just showing you.
I don't think there's an ounce of fat.
No, I agree.
Everything that happens in the beginning, the first three four, three quarters, four fifths
of this movie, whatever, is just showing you the way that this like really good guy,
we, they go out of our way to show he's a good guy.
Like, he's selfless.
He always thinks about other people first.
And everything that happens to him is just beating him down.
Yeah.
World is just like, and he reaches a breaking on him.
And yeah, and eventually he's just, he just can't handle it anymore.
Yeah.
And then the movie does a great job of showing you.
Hey, these are all of the things that were happening at the same time as the world was
beating you down, right?
Yeah.
But he gets, he has all of these people who love him.
He has his family who are really great.
And, and you know, this town that he's been trying to get out of, there are, he cares about
all the people there and, and they all, it's a mutual love thing that's going on with the town,
right?
And so the movie does a great job of showing you that even when things seem bleak, maybe you're
just not noticing the things that make your life great.
Yeah.
And when all of that information just comes flooding into him, it's just so emotional and
so perfect.
You know, the scene where he's running down the streets where after he gets, gets, after
the world is put back to normal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, movie house.
And, you know, he's just screaming.
It's so joyful.
It's so emotional and I just absolutely could not love it more.
Yeah.
And, and I also think that Jimmy Stewart's acting is miles ahead of everybody at that time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
You know, I've talked to you about this before.
Yeah, exactly.
When you look at him, him and Marlon Brando.
Yeah.
Like feels like they're time travelers.
Yeah.
When you look at him in the scenes with like Uncle Billy, there's just like, how are these guys
the same job?
Yeah.
So weird.
Like it was back in the day when like acting on stage.
Yeah.
Acting on film or kind of the same.
Right.
Exactly.
So nobody knew that you didn't have to be that big.
Right.
We were acting.
Right.
And yeah, he was one of the first people who figured out, yeah, I'm with you.
I love Jimmy Stewart.
He's one of my all time favorite actors.
And I think, yeah, you know, this is his best movie.
Probably he's fantastic in it.
And yeah, just just love it.
Just love it so much.
Yeah.
Me too.
Me too.
I watch it almost every year.
Sometimes I'll go to the theater and watch it.
Yeah.
I've never seen it in the theater.
That's really cool.
I love to.
Same movie.
They don't add anything.
Are you sure?
No.
No, they do add some big like Jack C.G. snowman.
That's what I was hoping for.
Okay.
I want to get your shady snowman.
I want to kick in your snowballs.
Oh, good.
Okay.
Got to get the know or something.
Billing.
Well, now I'm definitely going to go see it in the theater.
That sounds great.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
So yeah, it's wonderful.
I can't, can't, I recommended highly enough.
I know there are probably a lot of people who listen to our show who are in the same boat
as we are who just, it's just one of those things that's always there that you've never bothered
to watch.
Yeah.
Or something.
There have been movies for me that I think that I've watched because they're just always
there.
Right.
And then I sit down and watch them and go, oh my god, that was one of them.
Yeah.
You know, I thought that I'd seen it, but I'd just seen glimpses and pieces.
Yeah.
And when I sat down and watch the whole thing, I'm like, oh, okay.
Yeah.
If you are listening to this episode and you've never seen it to wonderful life, I promise
you it is well worth your time.
We will not be disappointed.
Yeah.
Another thing I like about wonderful, that just before we sign off, like we said, there's,
we don't, I don't think there's an ounce of fat in it.
Yeah.
And you don't realize that until the end, right?
You know, like all that set up, yeah, all that set up is for that end to pay off.
Right.
Exactly.
As all of the characters from every, every scene in the early parts of the movie come
into his house and start giving him money so that he can, well, that and and when, when
you're showing him the world, yeah, right?
You know, it's all the things that he did.
Yeah.
You know, all the things that you saw and now it all makes sense, you know?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
All right.
So that's a number one for both of us.
That's it.
Should we talk about what we're doing next week?
Yeah.
So next week will be our second Christmas episode.
Yes.
And in that episode, we're going to be talking about a couple of foreign language Christmas
movies, talking about, "Joyue Noel."
Uh-huh.
And we're going to be talking about rare exports.
Yep.
And then the new release we'll be talking about is the Bobby Farley Jack Black comedy,
"Dear Santa."
Yes.
So stay tuned for that.
It goes out if you dare before listening to our next episode.
All right.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Merry Christmas.
See you next week.
All right.
Thanks for tuning in to "Past Pirate Pay."
This episode was produced by the one and only Andy Morris.
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(Welonz whimpers)
(Welonz whimpers)
Oh, holy shit.
[MUSIC]