Vampires (Pt 1)

 On this chilling episode, Ken and Andy sink their teeth into three vampire films, each offering a fresh twist on the undead legend. First, they explore the moody, immortal romance of Only Lovers Left Alive, where ancient bloodsuckers find beauty in a decaying world. Next, they delve into the darkly quirky Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person, blending existential humor with a bite of melancholy. Finally, they tackle the highly anticipated 2024 remake of Nosferatu, a haunting homage to the original cinematic creature of the night. Grab your garlic (or don’t) and join us for this fang-tastic film feast!  🧛‍♂️ 

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Transcript

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Hello everybody and welcome once again to Pass Pirate Pay, the movie discussion show.
My name is Ken, I'm your host alongside my co-host Andy, Andy, how you doing?
I'm great Ken, how are you?
Spectacular, happy new year to you?
Happy new year to you sir.
Yeah, do you do anything fun for new years?
Yeah, oh yeah.
I stayed here with the dogs while they cowered in fear of the fireworks.
Oh, that sounds amazing.
Yeah, I comforted them and watched more fireworks on TV.
Oh, excellent, excellent.
Yeah, I got invited to a friend's house at about 6 p.m.
and I was like, that sounds very good.
And then, they're like, yeah, we're probably going to leave before, way before midnight.
I'm like, oh, that sounds pretty good.
So I went and hung out with some people and then went home and was home by 10 p.m.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, it was great.
It was nice.
Yeah.
They were getting too old for new years.
Yeah, we might be old people, I think.
Yeah, usually I play for new years, but we didn't have a gig this year, so.
Yeah.
That's always fun.
I like playing on new years.
Yeah, I like working.
That sounds pretty good.
Yeah, I've had some great new years playing.
All of my friends come to the gig.
It's just fun.
Nice.
Yeah, that sounds like a good time, but not this year.
Yeah, this year was just me and the dogs.
Scary cat dogs.
Anyway, so this week on the show, we are, we're going to, we're going to a little spooky.
Oh, I mean, maybe, I don't know.
We're doing vampires.
We're not doing the spookiest of vampires.
Yeah, we do.
So we're doing 2013's only lovers left alive.
They were doing 2023's, humanist vampire seeking, consenting suicidal person.
Yeah, that's what they call.
I think so.
I would try.
People keep asking, what are you doing on the show this weekend?
I just cannot remember the title of this movie.
It's a long title, but it's a, it, it definitely encapsulates everything in the movie.
Yeah, I'm sure to be sure.
And then our last movie is going to be Noose Faratou in theaters now.
So I know that's what he said.
We jump right in.
All right, go ahead, Ken.
And I'm following your lead as always.
Go chronologically.
So let's go back to 2013 with Jim Jarmos' only lovers left alive.
This movie is about 'Till the Swinton and Tom Hiddleston play vampires that have been
alive for centuries, and they're living on separate continents and the world is basically
decaying all around them.
And they're normal decay.
Yeah, yeah, but you know, they're just basically living and observing as the world is getting
shittier and shittier.
So this movie starts off with, they have shots of, of 'Till the and Tom'.
Their names are Adam and Eve.
They are.
Yeah, yeah, it's not great, but, you know, they're laying on their backs and they're looking
up and the camera is looking down at them and the camera is spinning around and then they
show stars in the sky and then this camera starts spinning, the star start moving and then
they cut to a 45 spinning on a turntable.
And that starts spinning around and everything is spinning.
Deadly cool.
And the song is 'Funnel of Love' and it's covered by squirrel, which is Jim Jarmas'
zone band.
And it's exactly what I thought.
That wasn't the woman, what is her name?
Wanda Jackson?
No, it's a cover.
Oh, because I knew it was different, but it sounded like just a remix.
No, no, I looked it up.
It was a cover.
I forget the name of the woman who's singing with Jim Jarmas' band, but it's not the
original song, it's not the Wanda Jackson version.
All right.
Anyway, within the first 30 seconds of this of this movie, I was like, this is a movie for
me.
Yeah, I was like, this is a movie that I am going to love.
It's like the mood is set perfectly.
The song is awesome.
The shots look great.
Everything.
It looks super cool.
I'm totally into it.
And simultaneously, I'm thinking Andy is going to fucking hate this movie.
Why are you nailed it?
I mean, as this movie is going on, I'm just like, there is no chance in hell that Andy likes
this movie.
I have seen a few Jim Jarmas movies.
I've seen The Dead Don't Die, which is a zombie movie.
I saw Dead Man.
I saw Coffee and Cigarettes.
The only one, and I saw this, the only one I liked out of all of them was Coffee and Cigarettes.
Yeah, I remember you said you didn't like Dead Man and I was like, oh boy, this one doesn't
die.
This was a no chance.
Oh, boring, boring movie.
I like a lot of Jim Jarmas movies.
Stranger than Paradise is first movie, I think is really good.
And Coffee and Cigarettes is great.
And this one, I thought was really fucking great.
I really, really liked it.
I mean, this is a movie that is 100% atmosphere and 0% plot.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, which is my, I hate those movies.
Yeah, exactly.
And you have to create one fucking hell of an atmosphere for me to enjoy it.
And I feel like he did.
I just think like the music in this movie is so awesome.
I thought like it just sounds great.
It's all like really slow, language, music, but it's also kind of noisy.
It just sounds super cool to me.
I just really loved it.
And like I think it looks really cool.
I don't know man, the aesthetic of the movie just, I was so into it.
I thought it was really fantastic.
I thought it was dull as dishwasher, man.
Yeah.
There's a few things going on in this movie.
These vampires are depressed.
They're not killers.
Yeah, they are depressed.
Well, not all of them, but Adam.
Adam is very depressed.
So the movie starts, he's in Detroit and, and he's depressing.
He's very depressing.
He's in the fucking ruins of Detroit.
And Eve, she's in Tangier, which you know, looks pretty vibrant and kind of cool.
Yeah.
Well, they both have ways through various medical establishments of getting blood.
Yes.
Because so they're not going around boring.
How boring.
They're not going around killing people, right?
How fucking boring.
You're doing a vampire movie and they're getting, they're feeding in the, like the most boring
possible way.
Well, the thing is, just paying for Jeffrey Wright for blood.
Yeah.
So the thing is like the point of the movie, I think, is about decay of the world, right?
So the reason that they don't go hunting for blood like a typical vampire would is that
all of the humans have painted blood.
Like the way we live now, the way we humans live now is so filthy and unclean in our environment.
They're not hunting down the clean blood.
Right.
It's, it's, they're finding clean blood is, is a commodity that's really hard to come by.
So it's just like, yeah, because they do with John hurt.
And I thought that John hurt stuff was good.
Yeah, I thought it was really cool.
So John hurt, I love John hurt.
John hurt, yeah, it's great.
I think everybody in this movie is awesome.
I think they all did a fine acting.
When I, when I was watching the, when I was watching the opening credits, I just kept seeing
people's names and it's just like, oh, wow.
And it's just, it's a really cool cast like, like Anton Yellich is in any place of human.
And you know, that's a tragic story.
Yeah, because he was so good.
He was such a good actor.
And you know what happened to him, right?
Was it a car accident?
It was a weird car accident.
Like he got run over by a car when he was standing outside of it or something.
He was at his house.
Yeah.
And he got out of his own car to get the mail.
And his own car rolled back and pinned him against like a pillar.
And he died that way.
Yeah, just tragic, really tragic.
Yeah, because he, I mean, everything I've ever seen him in, I think he's, he was really
good.
Yeah, I really like him in this.
So he's in this movie, he is the, he's the human.
Basically, he's the main human.
He's what he called the familiar.
Yeah, I guess he's like Adams gofer.
Yeah.
Adams is pace him lots of money to go find whatever things he needs like musical equipment
or, or you know, so Adam is a musician and he is releasing anonymously all of this music.
And so Antoniel, which is character is like the person responsible for getting that music
out into the wild, which is I guess how the money keeps coming in.
But he's like so like in love with Adam.
Basically, he's just like, oh, this guy is so cool.
I just want to be around him.
I want to be in his orbit.
And he's like, he's wearing sunglasses, whenever they're all wearing sunglasses, he just
wants to be part of this world, you know?
And I don't think he knows their vampire.
No, no, it's a big secret.
Nobody.
Yeah, because the plot for what it's worth, the plot, such as it is of this movie, really
starts to get going.
So Eve flies from Tangier to Detroit to cheer up, depressed Adam.
And right after she gets there, her sister played by Mia Waska.
Yeah, Alice in Alice in Alice in Alice in Alice in one of them movies.
Yeah.
So she shows up and she is a dick.
I guess is basically she's just like, doesn't give a fuck about anything.
She's just going to do whatever the hell she wants and, you know, consequences be damned.
Yeah.
So like she shows up and she immediately drinks all the blood that Adam's got hidden
in his refrigerator and, and, uh, slasks it for when they go out.
Yeah.
So the three of them and Anton, they go out to this club to see this band.
And yeah, Anton's like trying to get them beers and stuff with their vampires.
So they don't, they don't thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yes.
So the sister, Ava, she's, uh, she's like hanging on to Anton and, and like, he's like, oh,
we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna get this guy.
She, like, we, everybody can see what's gonna happen, right?
Is she?
Yeah.
Anton is, or I guess it's Ian in the movie, but, uh, he is hanging around with
them and Ava, she's getting very flirty with him and, and we all know it's gonna happen
and sure enough, after they're done with the music club, Adam and Eve go to bed.
And, uh, the next morning we wake up and, uh, yeah, Ian, Ian is dead.
He's, uh, he has been drunk by, by evil.
Yeah.
They were hitting it off.
You knew that was, you knew what that was headed?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I mean, one of the, my, one of my favorite things in the whole movie is Tom Hiddleston
as Adam.
He comes in and he sees bloodless Ian on the couch and Eve, like, laying on top of him and
he just dead pants.
He's like, you drank Ian.
You drank Ian.
You drank Ian.
I thought it was so funny.
It's so funny.
Um, but yeah, so all the vampires refer to all the humans in this movie as zombies.
Yeah.
And that makes me think of the movies called Only Lovers Left Alive.
Yeah.
And what I think the title means is that Adam and Eve specifically and John Hurd is Christopher
Marlowe also, they're like the only people left in the world who still appreciate things
because all the humans are just like, they're just zombies.
They're just walking through life without realizing the, the beauty of the world or the,
and they're fucking it up as they go along too, right?
So that's what it is, right?
But all they are the only lovers left alive.
Everybody else that's left alive is just taken up space.
Yeah.
And that's what I, I mean, that's what I think that the movie is all about, right?
The appreciating beauty in a decaying world and trying to, I don't know, stand apart from
the dying world we live in.
I don't know.
That's what it, that's what it seemed like it was about to me.
I don't know.
And it really resonated with me.
But like, I don't know, the, the aesthetic of the vampires was so cool to me.
It's like, yeah, we should be like them.
I'm, I'm in.
I buy what Jim Jarmoosh is selling with this movie.
So I had a different, I have a different take on it.
All right.
I think that Jim Jarmoosh thinks he's cooler than everybody else.
Yeah.
So he wants to make characters that are cooler than everybody else who listen to coolass music
like Jim Jarmoosh.
Yeah.
And then Jim Jarmoosh is banned because Jim Jarmoosh dresses like a fucking cool douche.
Yeah.
I've actually never seen him.
I have no idea what he looks like.
He's got like white hair and a pompador and he's skinny.
Yeah.
He wears like tight jeans and leather jackets.
He looks just like those goddamn vampires.
Yeah.
Awesome.
And it's, it's so up its own ass artistic douchey to me.
That's, I couldn't get away from that the whole time.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, I think it's okay to think that you're cool if you're cool.
I don't know.
I just think this is cool.
Well, it is cool.
Okay.
That's fine.
But also tell a story.
Don't just shoot your fucking cool vampires.
What is it, man?
It is a story.
It's like this movie barely.
It's, it's, I think it's really about something.
I think that the point of the movie really resonated with me.
I thought it was super interesting, a super interesting way to show the fact that the
world is shitty and getting shittier.
And a good way to do that is by having characters who are centuries old and are like, we're
around before this time because we weren't here, right?
So it's just like these vampires are able to come from a place of knowing what they're
talking about when they're saying things aren't as good as they used to be.
I don't know.
I just thought it was an interesting way to go about it.
I just, I thought it was super cool.
Yeah.
I, I didn't, I thought it was dull, dull, dull, dull.
I had to take two swipes out of it.
Yeah.
I liked the makeup of the way that the way the characters looked.
Yeah.
The aesthetic of the movie was good.
I just wish someone else would write them.
Yeah.
That's what I, like Jim Tarmusch is not a bad director.
I think all of his movies look good.
They all look good.
They all create a really cool tone.
Like the whole universe that his movies take place in, they're all really like dead man
look good.
Like they all look good.
Yeah.
But there's just no stories there.
Yeah.
No, dull and I just want it to be better.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I guess my coffee and cigarettes worked because there was, it wasn't telling stories.
Right.
It was just putting two interesting people in a room together.
Two or three, you know, in a room together.
Yeah.
I guess I, I don't know.
I guess it's just like his movies to me are, they're more poetry than prose, right?
Where it's just like this movie is about creating feelings.
A movie doesn't have to have a story for me.
I don't know if you're making a compelling case for something and doing it in a way that
is interesting or cool or fun or, and I thought this movie was all of those things, then
I'm totally on board with it.
I just love it.
I don't know.
I don't, I don't need a story if the non story is cool enough or, or interesting enough.
And I thought this definitely what?
Yeah.
I didn't.
Yeah.
And I think it was interesting.
I mean, it was interesting to look at.
Yeah.
Like that, you know, for sure, but yeah, I was just bored to tears.
Yeah.
I knew.
I absolutely knew it.
I, except when John Hart was on screen, like I thought that all his stuff, I would have
loved it to see a movie about Christopher Marlowe, the vampire, with John Hart playing
the old version.
I would love to see that.
Right.
That was the most interesting part for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I said, I could tell within 30 seconds, I knew that I would love it and you would hate
it.
Oh, it's totally on board.
Like I wasn't sure where you would be on it because I, I can never tell where you're going
to fall on things.
Yeah.
But I'm pretty predictable.
Yeah.
I don't know.
You've surprised me before, but this one I was, I was pretty sure.
I was pretty sure.
Yeah.
I was pretty sure.
Yeah.
If it's, if it's a boring ass movie, you can count on me not liking it.
All right.
All right.
So is that it?
Is that why you have it?
That's why I have to live.
Yep.
So I'm going to have to live.
Yep.
So I think I was pretty clear where we're at.
Yeah.
I think so, but maybe official, right?
Let's make it official.
Ken, where do you stand?
Past, pirate or pay?
This is...
Not only lovers left alive.
Only lovers left alive.
Definitely.
I pay for me.
Definitely a pass for me.
Pass.
Okay.
Our second movie today is a humanist vampire seeking
consenting suicidal person from 2023.
This is a French Canadian movie directed by Ariane Louis Says.
Yeah.
And I had never heard of this movie until you told me we were going to watch it.
I watched this a few, I want to say like two months ago.
Oh, okay.
I think I found it just by browsing through the movie thing.
Yeah.
And I saw it.
I'm like, that sounds interesting.
Yeah.
So the thing, I said earlier, I can never remember the title of this movie.
Yeah.
It was just like the title of this movie is...
I think simultaneously awesome and terrible.
Like, it's just like, I can't tell anybody to watch this movie because I can't remember the
name of the fucking title of it.
But at the same time, when you hear the title of this, I heard the title of this movie,
like, there's no way that movie is not going to be good.
How is it?
There's no way.
It's an amazing title for a movie.
There's no chance it's going to be bad.
It's a big, balsy title.
That's something a title of studio would go, no, absolutely not.
And it ended up getting through anyway.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe, you know, in Quebec, they don't have a big studio system.
But if you want to make a movie there, you're just like, yeah, do what you want.
Whatever, don't care.
Yeah.
So this movie is about a young teenage vampire named Sasha.
She comes from a vampire family, which I thought was really fine.
It's an interesting way to go about it.
And she is tremendously empathetic and she loves people.
Yeah.
So she doesn't want to kill us.
Once again, we have non-murdering vampires.
Non-murdering vampires.
But at least this is a focus of it.
Like, yeah, this is the crux of the film.
Right.
So the movie starts with her as a little girl and her parents are like, oh no, it's just
a phase.
She'll grow out of it, but then she becomes a teenager.
And it's just like, oh, when is she going to start eating?
We need to get her to eat like, is there bringing home blood and keeping the refrigerator
in the, that's how she, that's how she stays alive.
Yeah.
But eventually the parents decide, nope, this is, this is got to stop.
And they send her out to live with her blood thirsty vampire cousin.
And she's going to learn the ropes and she's going to become a vampire.
And then she encounters a suicidal teen and he is more than willing to give himself up
to her.
Yeah.
She can stay alive and not die of hunger for a little while, but she's still not, you
know, so she's still not sure she wants to do it.
And that's where the, that's where the movie goes.
So the, I really like the beginning of this movie, I thought was fantastic.
It starts off when Sasha is a little girl.
It's her birthday.
And so they give her a present and it's a piano and it turns out she's like a, it's a little,
it's a little keyboard.
Yeah.
She's like a piano prodigy.
She just immediately starts playing.
And then the doorbell rings and the, her aunt is like, oh, it must be another present.
And they're like, what?
We didn't expect another present.
And it's this fucking goofy ass birthday clown.
Yeah.
And the clown shows up and Sasha is immediately like delighted.
She loves it.
And the clown comes in and he's doing all this dumb clown dancing around and he's doing magic
tricks.
And the whole family are just staring at him.
Like, what is this guy?
This is so stupid.
And Sasha is just so excited about the whole clowning business.
Yeah.
And eventually the clown is going to do a magic trick and he gets in a box and the cousin
who's also a young girl at this point.
She's, she's like, are we done with this?
When are we going to eat this guy?
Hey.
And we're off and running, right?
That's the, so the eat the clown.
But yeah, so like the movie establishes, hey, if they, when they eat the clown to this,
say it tastes a little funny.
No, that's terrible.
So before the opening credits, this movie establishes, it's a really unique vampire world,
right?
Where it's just like, we have vampire families and there's like a whole vampire community
infrastructure.
Like, so the fangs of the vampires in this movie only protrude when they're about, when
they're like hungry or turned on or they're going to eat somebody.
Yeah.
So what Sasha is, she doesn't want to eat.
So fangs don't come in.
So they like take her to a vampire dentist, right?
And then the dentist is like, well, I don't know what the problem is.
So then they take her to a vampire psychiatrist.
Yeah.
And it's just like, and it's all done.
And they said, night because their vampires were like, we have this whole weird world,
right?
But like, it's, it's the first like, I don't know, less than 10 minutes of the movie is
all before we meet the Sasha that's the main character of the movie as a young adult.
But it establishes exactly what's going on in the movie.
It's a perfect opening.
Yeah.
It sets the tone.
It's really funny.
Yeah.
And it's just great.
It's really cool.
So I really enjoyed that.
Yeah.
So the main human character is this kid named Paul and he is in high school and he's bullied
constantly.
And he's just like, he's suicidal.
He hates his life.
And a big part of the movie is Sasha trying to get up to the nerve to eat him.
And one of the ways she's doing it is it's like, well, maybe if you have a dying wish,
I can help grant your dying wish and then I have no problem eating you.
So he's like, he decides that all of the people who are bullying him, he wants to go
fuck with them.
Yeah.
So that's like a fun montage, right?
He's just fucking with people.
That's it was really fun too.
But this movie is also like, it's funny, right?
It's a, it's a comedy for sure.
But it's also like kind of about dissatisfaction with life, right?
Like is both of these characters Sasha with not wanting to eat and Paul with hating.
I wanted to live.
Yeah, not wanting to be alive because he hates everything about his life.
These, these characters are just like totally going through life without any kind of joy,
right?
But there are a lot of like beautiful scenes of the two of them together.
These two people or none, one non person, whatever, just making this connection.
It's like there's a great, great scene in Sasha's bedroom where she has a record player.
She's got a collection of records and you know, Paul's like, which ones are favorite and
they put on this brand-o-lee record.
I think it's called emotions.
And it's just a still camera shot of the two of them standing in front of her record
player and then the song comes on and she starts lip syncing along with the song and dancing
along and he's just kind of watching her.
And then eventually like he starts getting into the song and he starts dancing along and
then she looks at him and she's like, oh, fuck, I'm supposed to be eating this guy and she's
like gets pissed off about the whole thing.
But it's like a two minute long, totally static camera shot of just watching the two of
them.
They're adorable.
They're just two amazing adorable, dorky kids and it's so great.
I just loved it so, so much.
You know, it's like Paul is like, he looks like a weird science era, Anthony Michael Hall,
except Frisch.
And she looks, Sasha looks like the daughter from the Incredibles come to life and you
come in form.
They're just so, just kind of awkward about everything and just like, I don't know the way
the characters presented in the way that the two actors portray them.
They're so lovable.
I just, I'm so into both of them.
It's just so great.
I don't know.
I really, really enjoyed everything about this movie.
Yeah, yeah, I did too.
That was really funny.
Yeah.
So Sasha is sent to live with her cousin Denise, who is a typical vampire and she, you know,
she's like a good looking young woman.
So she's able to attract these douchey dudes.
And she just kills all these douchebag guys and she lives in like this hipster loft.
She's a painter and she's got weird paintings all of her and meat hooks everywhere from
the dudes she's killing.
So when she takes Sasha out, she's like, okay, we're going to kill this guy and they, they
like, kidnap this drunk douchebag named JP outside of a bar and he's the doucheiest guy you
could ever imagine, right?
And so like, they take him to his place and he gets out of their car and he's like, he's
like, come on, come to my place.
We're going to whatever we're going to do.
We're going to have a good time.
So Denise says, okay, now when you bite him, make sure you keep drinking until he dies
because if you don't, he's going to get turned and then we're going to have to deal
with this guy for all eternity.
But sure enough, Sasha stops Denise from killing him after she bites him.
So JP is just hanging around for the rest of the movie and every time you see him, he's
just like making some stupid as comment about whatever and every time he speaks, I was laughing.
I thought he was so funny.
It was really funny.
So he is, I mean, he was really great.
And Sasha's parents are like, her dad is like this really well-meaning guy.
He's like, so she doesn't want to kill whatever who cares.
He just, he tells his wife, you know, you just bring home the blood and we'll all drink it.
We can live that way.
Who cares?
And he's just wants to go along with everything.
And it's just, you know, but nobody else seems to think that this is okay.
Spoiler warning.
Humanist vampire seeking consenting suicidal person.
Bill is ahead, skip to the next chapter or minute marker, 30 minutes and 23 seconds to hear
the verdict.
You have been warned.
The, the movie ends Sasha, uh, Sasha and Paul, they go around and they perform all these
pranks on, uh, on all the various people.
And then they kill one of the bullies that's bullying him.
And they're trying to figure out how they're going to get out of this mess they've gotten
themselves into.
And so all the sides that the way they're going to do it is that she turns him into a vampire.
Yeah.
So she turns him into a vampire.
And this is where the title of the title of the movie gets mentioned, where Paul and Sasha
become these two vampires and what they're, the way they're going to do it from now on is
they're going to like Dr. Kavorkian people vampirically.
Yeah.
Right.
Where it's like the movie ends with with this old woman who's dying of whatever in the hospital.
And Paul and Sasha come along and they're like, we're going to take you to the other side
in a very soothing because Sasha's got this piano playing ability.
So she's playing this beautiful piano music as this woman expires and they're draining her
blood.
And it's like, now we have blood.
So this is the way that we're going to, we're going to go about doing this.
And I thought it was really cool because the whole time I'm like, how are they going
to blend this plane?
How are we ever going to get out of this situation?
Right?
And it wasn't there a point where she was turning him where she was drinking too much?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She almost kills him by when she, when she drinks him to turn him.
Yeah.
I think it's supposed to be, because it's a love story.
So I think it's supposed to be like her sucking his blood is, I mean, obviously vampirism
is always sexy, right?
This is the basis of it, right?
Yeah.
Victorian construction because you can't have sex in books, but you can, can have vampires,
right?
So yeah, when she's draining him, it's like, oh, she's really into this guy and she like goes
a little too far and almost kills him.
Right.
But yeah, so it's just like, so how are they going to get out of this?
Where's like, either she's going to have to start killing people or, or she's going to die,
right?
That's the whole point of the movie.
Yeah.
And I think they found it is kind of like elegant little way to get around it.
Where it's like, they say true to the characters.
Yeah.
Suicidal consenting people.
That's just good.
That's who they're going to get from now on.
That's what we're going to do.
And yeah, so the two of them are just now these two euthanizers.
Yeah.
And that's how they both say a lie.
Yeah.
I thought this was a really fun vampire movie.
Yeah.
It was just really funny.
It reminded me of kind of like Sean of the dead kind of, like in that, you know, comedy
horror vein.
Uh-huh.
I didn't really dug it.
I thought I thought it was like, it felt like at times anyway.
It felt like lost in translation, like that kind of, uh, that kind of vibe.
Yeah.
Whereas just like, you know, these two people finding each other and this is, but they don't
know what they're doing with themselves.
Yeah.
This is like, this is, it felt like a Sophia couple of vampire movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kind of did.
And it was really well directed.
Yeah.
Really well acted.
Great.
I really, yeah.
I was delighted to find this movie.
I thought it was absolutely fantastic.
You know, I, I went to work today and I, and I kept telling, I kept going up to people.
I'm like, listen, I'm gonna tell you this movie.
You're never gonna watch it, but you should anyway.
I'm gonna, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, nobody's gonna watch this movie.
It's so stupid.
It's on movie is the only place you can stream it without paying for it.
Or, or, or, and nobody has that shit.
There's just like, I don't know anybody that's ever gonna watch this movie.
But if you're listening to this podcast right now, seeking to find this movie, it is totally
worth your time.
Yeah.
Seek it out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, Ken.
So is, uh, humanist vampire, et cetera.
Yeah.
I said a pass pirate pay for you.
Oh, super duper pay.
Yeah.
I pay for me too.
This movie is definitely one of the best movies we've watched for this pod.
This is, this is so weird.
I'm, I'm very curious to see what you think about the next one because I, I, I wasn't sure
you liked this.
I wasn't sure you like, I thought you'd think it was too goofy or something.
Oh, man.
But I'm glad you liked it.
I was totally on board.
I really, I was so happy after watching this movie.
It's, I thought, I think it's absolutely great.
I, like I said, right on.
So it didn't suck.
And, oh, man.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Just as you're an old man, doesn't mean you got to lean into the dad jokes, sir.
Yeah.
You get hard on this one.
Yeah.
Our last movie today is 2024's Nozforatu.
Yes.
This is a remake of a remake directed by Robert Eggers.
Heavily anticipated Nozforatu.
Yeah.
I mean, a lot of, a lot of people talk about this.
So before we got into all of these things, it probably, maybe still.
I'm not sure.
If you would ask me like a month ago what my favorite vampire movie ever is, yeah, I would
have told you it is the remake, the original remake of Nozforatu, the Warner Herzog version
with the, with Klaus Kinski.
I love it.
I think it's super, super creepy, dark, weird, seen the original, yeah, seen the old black
and white one.
And I don't love the original one.
I don't, I, I do.
Yeah.
I like it.
Yeah.
I think it's super creepy.
Yeah.
So I, I, I, I was like, I don't know.
I was a little dubious about this movie, even though I like all of Robert Eggers' movies.
Um, I, I, have you seen all of his stuff?
Have you seen the way it happened?
I've seen the witch.
Uh-huh.
And I think that might be it.
Oh, you didn't see the lighthouse?
I haven't seen the lighthouse.
No, let me need to lighthouses.
Uh, it's, poof.
That movie is a lot.
It's crazy.
I mean, the North Bend also is a lot.
Yeah.
I want to, I want to see them all because I really like the witch.
Yeah.
I really liked it.
Yeah.
So the thing that struck me most about this movie when I kept the movie, I was like,
most about this movie, what I kept thinking about is that Robert Eggers seems to be a filmmaker
who does not have any time for ironic interpretations, right?
Like he wants everybody.
You can't be going into this movie thinking about snarkiness.
You need to be totally bought into everything he's going for because he is all in like all
of the actors in this movie are just super going for it.
Yeah.
And the, like the music and the look of it, it just, it seems to me like a lot of people
are going to hate this movie.
A lot of people are going to think that this movie is hokey because it's really overdone.
A lot of it.
Yeah.
But if you were along for the ride, I think it's almost, a lot of the time, it's magnificent.
Okay.
So much of this movie I thought was just fantastic.
Like I was able to totally buy in almost immediately just because this movie looks fantastic.
I mean, I know we've been talking about that a lot with all of these movies, but the, the
look of this movie is just like absolutely terrific.
Yeah.
All of the shadows and washed out colors is a lot of stuff that's not, it's black and white
and it's, but it's also just kind of like washed out colors.
Yeah.
And it just looks gray and bleak.
It just looks fantastic.
There's a recurring bit about how Count Orlock is able to get control of people because his
shadow covers them.
Yeah.
So like the use of shadowy hands and figures and, and like the silhouette of bodies creeping
along, along walls and like growing huge and covering up which was part of the original
last ride.
Yeah, that's definitely, yeah, that's definitely taken from the original, but it just looks so
good.
I just, I, I had no problem being totally bought in all the way for this movie.
Okay.
But it just seems to me like I've been hearing people talk about how they don't like this
movie and they're like it's, it's dumb.
And I just, I feel like if you don't let the movie take you where it wants to go, then
you're not going to enjoy it.
Okay.
That's what that's, that's the way I feel about it.
And, and frankly, I have no time for people like, where it's just like, you know what?
I guess if the filmmaking style doesn't work for you, then that's, then I guess that's
your thing and be that way.
But like, I don't know.
I just, I, I, Bill Scarsgard plays Count Orlock.
He's, he's the Dracula character in this movie.
And the big old Kossack muzzi, he's got a giant, giant mustache, big old Nosferatu flavor
saver.
And he is like, talk about your gigantic performances, right?
Like he is Darth Vader breathing throughout the whole movie.
Yeah.
And like speaking with this ridiculously thick, a Romanian or something accent.
And like, and like,
like, everybody is delivered like a decent, and it like just so going for it.
And, and like, like I said, if, if you're not, if you're just looking for things to knit
pick in this movie, you're just like, what the hell is this guy doing?
It's totally, yeah.
But like, I think he's so creepy.
I like, like Bill Scarsgard, I would never, I, I haven't seen him in very many things,
but I would never want to encounter this person on the street.
Like he seems like a toe.
Yeah.
And he's like angling to be like this generation's Boris carloff.
Yeah.
I was thinking he seems like he's, he's Andy circus.
He's the new Andy circus.
Yeah.
But, but specifically with monster, yeah, with monsters.
Yeah.
Andy circus has done a bunch of stuff.
Right.
Right.
That's why I thought you saw barbarian, right?
Yeah.
I love barbarian.
Right.
Barbarians awesome.
But Bill Scarsgard being in that movie, you immediately see him and you're like, all
I know where this is going.
And he plays a regular, right?
He's just a regular dude.
And he's just like, oh, this is brilliant.
This is inspired.
What a great idea.
But yeah, I, um, so, uh, like I said, everybody is really going for it.
And I thought that for the most part, it really works.
But there are some scenes where it's like whenever people are expected to be, you know,
be freaked out like all of the actors, I think they're doing absolutely fantastic jobs.
Or when people are possessed or insane or whatever, like that kind of big giant acting,
I feel like serves the movie so well.
It's really great.
But there are also times when the movie seems to want us to care about these people as
human beings.
And like we're getting emotional like there's, um, there's a guy played by Aaron Taylor
Johnson and his whole family gets caught up in the whole vampire plot plague thing that
is happening in this movie.
And he's like, like playing the concerned husband and father.
And I just think he's terrible.
Like because he's trying to be an empathetic person and I don't think this movie does empathy
well at all.
Uh, I also think that Lily Rose dep, I didn't like some real bad moments.
Really bad, really like high school acting moments.
Like I feel like, like I said, the stuff where she is possessed or was really good.
Also like there's a lot of like again, like sexy stuff where it's like when she is dealing
with count orlock in her dreams or in reality is like a lot of orgasmic kind of things going
on.
All that was good.
And she plays the ecstasy part of it really well.
Yeah.
But yeah, all the stuff where so hurt this movie, it should be said.
What does for Ahtoo is in 1922, they couldn't get the rights to the book for Dracula.
So they just made this Dracula adjacent story to the point where they could real closely
at Jason.
And this this movie is Dracula.
It's just Dracula.
It's Dracula.
The only difference that I could spot what they all the same characters.
Yeah, there was a Ren feel.
Yeah, there was a van hell exactly.
Exactly.
There was a boat ride which isn't in a lot of the movies.
And it's in the book is in some of them.
But it was like dead on.
Yeah.
The only difference that I could see was Dracula could like shape shift and be like a man
about town and you know, you know, charming and counter like right.
He's just a gross vampire.
Yeah.
I think also the the plague of rats.
I think that's only I don't think that's in Dracula.
I think that's only a noose for Ahtoo thing.
Yeah.
I do think at least in did you ever see the Dracula that the guys from Sherlock did?
No.
It was a TV show.
It was like Sherlock.
It was like three movies.
Okay.
It was really, really good.
Okay.
Really good.
And he could turn into a rat in that.
And I think.
Interesting.
I think Dracula has been known to turn into rats or a rat or a pack of rats.
Yeah.
Cause I remember I know the plague of rats is is a huge part of the the 1979 noose for
Ahtoo like that's like.
Oh, yeah.
It's huge and that's it's super creepy.
It's super creepy here too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like just like fantastic.
Yeah.
So her husband is the like the Jonathan Harker character and he goes off to Transylvania
and he encounters Count Orlock who is Dracula and all of the stuff where she is just like,
oh, I'm missing my husband and she's like trying to talk about their love and the.
I'm totally with you.
I think she is not a good enough actor.
It took me out of it a little.
Me too.
Like too.
Which I'm really forgiving when it comes to that stuff.
Yeah.
I really try hard on my suspension of disbelief when I'm watching a movie because I want to watch
it in the purest way possible.
Absolutely.
And if something jars me out of it, I'm like, oh, I'm totally with you and I I'm with
exact same way with what happened here.
I was there were stretches of this movie where I was like, is this the best movie I've seen
in years?
And then there were also stretches of this movie where I was like, is this even good?
But like a lot of a lot of the I was wrestling with the same exact thing.
Yeah.
Lily Rose dep and Lily Rose dep and and Aaron Taylor Johnson, I think we're just they're just
there's a lot of the movie where they're just not doing well as they're not good at acting
and I just yeah, I couldn't.
I couldn't.
I thought Nicholas Holt did good.
Yeah.
I like Nicholas Holt a lot.
I think Willem DeFoe.
He's the van Helsing guy and oh yeah, he was having a ball.
Oh, having a.
From the moment he comes on screen, you're like, oh, yeah, he's into this.
He was chewing up some sea and having a ball and the guy who watch the guy who plays the
Renfield character also just totally going for it.
Yeah, yeah, so funny.
Yeah, absolutely like over the top crazy.
Yeah, we be shit doing all the thought.
It's which also Nicholas Holt played Renfield to.
Oh, he was in the movie Renfield was Renfield.
That's right.
I forgot about that.
Nicholas K.
That's right.
I forgot about that.
That's really funny.
Back in time he's been dealing with these vampires.
But yeah, so that's the only problem I had with the movie was that anytime the movie wants
us to feel empathy, I just feel like the actors are not really up to it.
No.
And I don't know that I don't know that Eggers is up to it either.
I don't know if the writing is there.
I don't know that he is.
Yeah, have we ever seen like I haven't seen all of them.
No, I know the which.
And the which was all about moody, you know, dark tone.
And there was a really a lot of empathy or it was just kind of it was kind of cruel.
It was a right.
Right.
It was a brutal movie.
And he does that stuff really well.
Yeah.
And so when he gets away from that, I don't know.
I mean, whatever he makes good enough movies that I'm going to see the stuff that he makes
for the foreseeable future.
Yeah.
Well, you know what I get a whiff of though.
And I'm really sad about it.
Because I like the which so much.
And this is like when I saw them like this is like a real visionary director.
Yeah.
This is awesome.
Yeah.
Can't wait to see what he's going to do next.
Yeah.
And then I haven't seen the other ones, but I plan on them.
Yeah.
I plan on seeing them.
But they've gotten great reviews.
People are huge fans of them.
Yeah.
And now he's going into like remake territory.
Right.
And it's getting a little Tim Burtony for me.
Yeah.
I can see that.
Do you remember those first Tim Burton movies?
Oh, yeah.
Awesome.
Oh, yeah.
How you're like, this is so great.
Like a beetle juice.
Cesar Hans, Ed Wood, like all those three were like, like I couldn't wait to see what he's
going to do.
Yeah.
And he just turned into an impression of himself.
I think he's bad.
Yeah.
I love I love every Tim Burton movie up until he did the Planet of the Apes remake.
That sounds right.
And then after that, I don't like any of them.
I guess I like Sweeney Todd.
Uh, but there were a few offshoots.
A big eyes.
I thought was pretty good.
Big eyes was okay.
Sweeney Todd, I did really like, but that was built for Tim Burton.
Yeah.
Right.
And he's doing like Dumbo and like, come on.
And his dark shadows, uh, yeah, all of that Johnny Depp stuff is terrible, I think.
Yeah.
Just gets into this weird feedback loop of like just Tim Burton style over substance, you
know?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Fear this is where it's going to be.
Here where Robert Eger's next movie is going to be.
No, it is a lab rump.
Oh, no.
Yeah, you're right.
That doesn't sound that doesn't bow well.
That sounds Tim Burton.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have to be fucking directing muppets and shit like and I love the muppets.
Right.
I love lab rump.
Yeah.
I don't want to see Robert Eger's do lab rump.
Yeah.
That's rough.
I want to see him do something I've never seen before.
Yeah.
Cause that's the thing like the lighthouse is, uh, it's as unique as a movie can be.
It is a complete, which is what I've one of one.
Like it's bananas.
And that's what I want.
That's what I want.
Yeah.
And I wish you.
And the Northman, I don't love the Northman.
I didn't think it was all that great, but it is.
Certainly not like other things.
Yeah.
So I mean, all of the thing with the Northman is it is kind of loosely based on hamlet.
So maybe if he's, if he's doing things like this movie, it does a lot of well-worn.
Like it is very much beholden to the previous nose for our Tuesday and to track a lot of
surprises.
Yeah.
So hopefully if he's doing labyrinth, he'll be able to go outside of what the original
is more.
Uh-huh.
That's what I want to see from him.
I want to see him doing his own thing more, you know what I mean?
It's labyrinth, though.
So you're going to have to have some creatures.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some friendly cute creatures.
Right.
Yeah.
And now Robert Eggers is doing cute muppets.
Yeah.
Maybe he won't.
Maybe there'll be a super gross dark labyrinth.
And a scars guard has got to be our goblin king, right?
You could be.
I mean, it's probably already got the job.
One of the scars guards really like because Alexander scars guard is in the Northman
and he's fucking nuts in that movie.
So it could be either one of the brothers who knows.
I don't know.
I think he might be too fat.
You need somebody skinny with a big old dick to be the goblin king.
Yeah.
The thing about Robert Eggers is that like the man knows how to shoot a movie.
He knows how to fill a frame with interesting things that are going on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of cool like landscape shots and shots of the city of proper and all those things.
But also just shots of people's faces and the shadow and lights moving around on them.
There's a shot in this movie that I thought I was blown away while it was happening.
It's near the beginning.
Nicholas Holt is he arrives in this gypsy village right outside of Dracula's castle.
And he gets off of his horse and this like band of gypsy mariaches or whatever.
Yeah.
They all start like piling in behind him and there's a guy playing a loot or something like
right aggressively up in Nicholas Holt's face.
And then the camera cuts to this woman dancing.
It's not cuts.
It's all one shot moving camera.
And then this woman dancing fills the frame and then she like ducks out of the frame.
And then there's a guy who's just cackling at Nicholas Holt like knowing what's going
up.
We all know what's going to happen because he's about to go to count orlox castle and
the bad shit is going to happen.
But this gypsy guy is just like packling at him for like 15 seconds and it's all one shot.
It would so gorgeous.
I'm like this movie holy shit.
When this movie is cooking man, it was so good.
I thought.
But yeah, I thought so too.
I thought him writing up to the castle and the view of the castle and the whole inside
of orlox castle is really awesome.
Yep.
Yep.
Yeah.
I got to see count orlox Johnson.
We came out of the coffin right.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
It is.
Protests and gorgeous.
Those shots of this movie.
Some of the shit that's going on here.
It's just fantastic.
Yeah.
And I thought, uh, Scar's garden did a great job.
Yeah.
I thought so too.
The voice, the, yep.
I think you said they just, they just, everything be damned.
They just went for it.
Fucking go for it.
Big ol' swing.
Yep.
Yep.
And so much of it worked that I've just, I'm.
So, so happy that they got this movie made of really, really glad that I went to it.
Yep.
All right.
So Ken, I am curious because I don't know why, I know it's not a pass.
Yeah.
So Ken, where do you stand on Robert Eger's recent remake of Nosferatu?
Pass, pirate or pay?
This is a pay.
A pay.
We got ourselves my first triple pay for me.
This is the first one.
The first one for me.
You got the vampire episode.
Oh, I didn't ever guess that.
Unbelievable.
Three pays.
A triple pay.
I'm a pirate on it.
Interesting.
Well, pirate.
Yeah.
Like it just didn't, like, like you said, the scenes that grabbed me, grabbed me, but the
scenes that didn't.
Also, there were no surprises.
Yeah.
It was just a straight, pretty straightforward Dracula movie.
Yeah.
But I definitely see it, but I don't know.
Oh, I'm paying for it.
Yeah.
For me, just the stuff that worked worked so well and the stuff that didn't work is
so much less of the movie, I think, but on the whole, it's just really good.
Yeah.
I'm right on the edge, but I think I'm falling on that side.
Yeah, yeah.
This is, it's not as good as humanist vampires seeking, whatever.
It's not as good, but it's still very, very good.
So you are a pay, pay, pay, pay, pay.
Pay, pay, pay.
And I am a pass pirate pay.
Oh, nice.
We got to try back the...
Love it.
We did it.
We did it.
All right, everybody, that is our show for this week.
Be sure to tune in next week.
We are going to be doing a trifecta of movies about food.
We're going to be doing big night, babettes feast and the taste of things.
Come hungry and don't miss it.
Thanks for tuning in to Pass Pyrid Pay.
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