can I find love after 40?

Feel like it might be too late to meet your soulmate? You’re not alone—and this episode is the reframe your love life’s been waiting for.

If you’ve ever wondered whether being in your 40s makes finding love harder... or if your confidence, standards, and experience actually make you more magnetic... this one’s for you.

We’re exploring the question so many women silently carry—and offering a new lens that just might shift everything.

You’ll walk away feeling grounded, clear, and more sure than ever that love gets to happen on your timeline.

Highlights:

• Why age isn’t a barrier—it’s your soulmate’s favorite thing about you
• The shift that makes your standards magnetic, not intimidating
• How emotional depth and clarity actually speed up soulmate alignment
• A real client story that proves love over 40 isn’t just possible—it’s powerful
  
  🎼Music by Denis Pavlov

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You know that deep-down feeling that love is meant for you? That it’s supposed to be easier than this? You’re right.

Love isn’t something you chase. It’s something you attract when you shift into the energy that calls it in.

The problem isn’t you—it’s the way you’ve been taught to approach love. I help women break the cycle of overthinking and searching so they can finally start receiving the relationship they know is out there.

That’s exactly what we do in 1:1 coaching. We clear the hidden blocks keeping love just out of reach, so it stops feeling like a struggle—and starts feeling inevitable.

If that hit home, let’s talk. Book a free discovery call at https://calendly.com/kayvandunk/30min, and let’s get started on the path to the love you deserve.

Transcript

Hi, and welcome, or welcome back to Love on the Brain. I'm your host, and I help independent women who are single, divorced, or widowed find their soulmates while staying true to their high standards. In each episode, we dive into a frustrating question you may have about love. I'll share some insights, and then we can reframe it with an affirmation or ask formation to help you lift your spirits. If you haven't already, please subscribe and leave a great review on whichever platform you're listening to this podcast on. Your reviews help other amazing singles find this podcast too. Okay, let's jump in.

Today's question is, can I find love after 40? Now, whether you feel like forty is the new thirty or you are just grown and sexy and looking for love, the question that I hear a lot from women over forty is, is it too late for me to find love? Because now you're at a big age, right? You feel like you are set in your ways. You've been through relationships that have really taught you a lot about how you want to show up in a relationship, but more importantly, how you want your partner to show up in a relationship. And you are more demanding, more mindful, your patience is all the way, way down, and you might see this as a negative, but this is not a setback. This is a huge upside. Okay, it is absolutely not too late. And here's my take on it: Who you are, what you've seen, what you've been through, all of your life experiences, your past, your relationships have made you even better. More magnetic than before. Raise your hand if you're over forty and you feel like you are completely comfortable in your skin and you know who you are. And my hand is up. And this is why I say age is not a barrier to love. It is only a benefit. You are at a stage in your life where you have gained wisdom. You have emotional depth and you have a clear understanding of what you want in a relationship. So you have a little bit of freedom more than younger women might have because you have less patience to be with someone who is not a good fit. So you're willing to wait for the right person because you've been single. Whether it's a few months or a few years, you've been single. And yes, of course you want to be with your soulmate, but you don't want to be with just anybody in the meantime. And you're willing to walk away from anything that does not feel right. That is some kind of level of confidence you may not have had before or self-esteem and self-worth. Do you know how freeing that is? Imagine if 20-year-old you had that sense to say, oh, this guy is not treating me in the way I deserve. I'm going to end it right now. You might not have felt like that back then. And this is the power and confidence that younger you might not have had, but it makes you even more ready to invite your soulmate into your life. When you're out in the world, you are putting off that confident drip that only a woman over forty can. And yes, my ladies under forty don't take it personally. You will get there someday and you will fully understand what I'm saying now and take it with nothing but pride and compliment and as something to look forward to. How you show up in a relationship as forty is different. What's on your list of what you want in a soulmate is different. I always see these fun videos and I see these memes about women who have extremely low tolerance for shit now that they are over forty. Yes, it's funny, but it's also very true. If you know what you want stepping out into looking for your soulmate and attracting to your soulmate, then everyone and everything that is not like that automatically gets put to the side. That is a beautiful thing. I'm gonna share with you a story about a woman who called C who was one of my very, very, very first coaching clients. And she was dating throughout her 30s from a place of kind of insecurity and not really having confidence in herself. And most importantly, she would accept less than for men who were not up to her standards, because she looked more at their potential and not the actuality of who they were. So by the time we started working together when she was into her 40s, she of course had her insecurities about different things in her life, but age was not one of them. She actually didn't want to use her age in a limiting way, and she worked with me to help her see how, yes, she was aged to perfection like some fine bourbon, and her soulmate would appreciate her for everything she had accomplished. All of her experiences, all of her wisdom, and what she brought into her life. Because she was coming into her dating mindset as a 40-plus-year-old woman ready to meet her soulmate, she was ready to be coached on getting rid of anybody who was not like her soulmate, not mirroring back to her what she was looking for in her ultimate partner. And instead of going on endless date after date with guys who are not great and continuing into a relationship because she thought it might become something, she was able to work with me to step back and see who was and wasn't reflecting back to her what she wanted in her soulmate. From the moment that she decided that she was forty and that was not something that was going to keep her back and that it was something that was going to be her greatest asset, she met and married her soulmate within a year and a half. Okay? A year and a half. This is a woman who had gone through a very long dry spell of over seven years not dating and then dating a whole bunch of guys who were not the right fit. But when she realized that she could be with someone who thought that she was as awesome as she knew herself to be, everything aligned. So that's what I'm telling you. Age is not a liability in love. It is your greatest asset. And who you are is something you should embrace. Know that with every year you get older, you become more magnetic, more aligned with what you want so you could better attract. The love of your soulmate. So instead of asking, can I find love after 40? We're going to reframe that to an afformation of: what makes me so attractive to my soulmate after forty? And that's: what makes me so attractive to my soulmate after age forty? Shifting your focus in this way will help you realize that you are the most desirable partner at this stage. You know so much about yourself and now you carry that confidence that is so sexy and appealing. You have that depth of humanity that is so sexy and appealing. And you will attract to you a soulmate who is also at that stage in his or her life of being ready to accept the love of a fully grown, fully matured (In the best possible way, right? Not matured in the sense of age, but in the literal antithesis of the meaning of immature). You are ready to attract someone who is on your frequency now more than you ever have been in your life. So age is not a negative thing. Use that freedom, use that power, use that confidence that you now have as your superpower to step out into the world and magnetize the love that you absolutely deserve at this step in your life, at this place in your life, at this point in your life.

I like to close out the podcast by asking what you're grateful for because gratitude is the highest vibration of all. So just take a moment and think of one thing that you're grateful for. As always, I'm grateful to you for tuning in and love you for listening. And remember, when love is on the brain, asking better questions can lead to better answers.