Happy Agent Co. — Real Estate Podcast for Women hosted by Lindsay Dreyer, Real Estate Coach

You Can’t Do It All—And You Shouldn’t: Support Systems Every Woman in Real Estate Needs

• Lindsay Dreyer • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Feeling overwhelmed trying to do it all? The truth is, every successful woman in real estate has a strong support system—at work and at home. In this episode, we’re diving into how to build the dream team that will free up your time, reduce stress, and help you grow a thriving business without sacrificing your sanity.

In this episode, we cover:
✅ The wake-up call that made me realize I couldn’t do it all alone
✅ The must-have business support roles that every agent should consider
✅ How hiring help isn’t an expense—it’s an investment in your growth
✅ Why home support (like cleaning services and childcare) is a business strategy
✅ How to shift from “doing it all” to stepping fully into your CEO era
✅ Actionable steps to start outsourcing and reclaiming your time today

Success is never a solo act, and you don’t have to do it all to have it all. Tune in now and start building the support system that will help you thrive!

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Speaker 1:

Today we are talking about the support system every woman in real estate needs, and this is something that I feel like we do not talk about enough and women do not like asking for help. I will tell you, every successful woman in real estate has a business support system and a home support system. So today we're going to dive in to what those are and how you can finally get some support so you can start building the business and life of your dreams. I remember it was 2015. I was up at three in the morning pumping. I had just had my first baby. I owned a real estate brokerage at the time. I was selling 15 million personally and managing eight real estate agents and it was a disaster. And like no wonder I wasn't pumping anything because my stress level was like out the door.

Speaker 1:

I remember watching Steve Harvey because that's like the only thing that was on at three in the morning and just thinking is this my life? Like, is this what I'm signing up for? Because I'm not showing up in a productive way for anybody for my new baby, for my agents, for my clients Like I am a total and utter failure. And I just remember feeling like the suckscom at everything in my life and, looking back, I realized that part of it was probably postpartum depression and anxiety. But it was a breaking point for me. It was the point where I realized I couldn't do it all and that I actually needed some help.

Speaker 1:

So I wonder are you exhausted from trying to do it all? Do you feel guilty hiring help or paying for help or asking for help because you feel like you should be able to handle it on your own? And I want you to imagine what would happen if we built a support system around you that was designed to help you succeed, not only in business, but in life. The truth is, as I said, every successful woman in real estate has a support system. As I said, every successful woman in real estate has a support system, and today I'm breaking down exactly what it could look like at work and at home. So what's holding us back? I personally think it's so much of societal conditioning that women are often raised to be the helpers and no one really teaches us how to ask for help or accept it without guilt. Independence is lovely, it's great, but if you're refusing support out of pride or fear or guilt, it can be a business killer, but it's also a soul crusher, like it does not feel good to need help and know you need help and be so stubborn that you just aren't going to go and do it. Help and know you need help and be so stubborn that you just aren't going to go and do it. The truth and the stark reality is that the top producing agents that you see the ones that are making those top lists they are not doing it all by themselves. Even if it's just one person's name on the sign, they have a whole team behind them, they have assistants, they have automations and they have boundaries. So I want you to shift your mindset that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Speaker 1:

It is a CEO move. It is you stepping in to your CEO era. You need to focus on what's actually making you money, which is serving clients, building those relationships and closing deals. So let's dive in to the business dream team that you need. Point number one is you need a mentor or a business coach. Going it alone not only can be lonely, but you need someone to be able to bounce things off of it. Oftentimes, if you're going it alone is the slowest and hardest path. I wish I had hired a coach early in my brokerage days, like when I was starting my brokerage. It took me four years to finally get a coach and once I got a coach, it really helped to jumpstart my perspective and shifted my thinking from I'm an agent who owns a brokerage to I'm the CEO of this company.

Speaker 1:

The next support system you need in your business is administrative and operational support. These are the people who are going to take those low dollar activities off of your plate. The first is a virtual assistant or an admin. Now, what are you going to have this person do? They can do anything that does not involve a real estate license, but they could do your emails. They can do your scheduling. They are basically that back end support for you and your calendar. The next person is your transaction coordinator. This is the person that is going to help you with all of that contract to close management. They're going to help you with all your paperwork getting those listing agreements signed, the disclosures completed. They are so invaluable. If you are going to choose one of these options, this is the one you should start with and start offloading. Even if you are a person who loves to manage the transaction, I do think this is one place a good TC can take hours off of your week and it is always always worth the money.

Speaker 1:

The next is your marketing admin. This is the person who can do your direct mail, postcards, your social media, create all of your content, do your sphere marketing, plan events for you. They are all about lead generation, marketing and brand building. This is so important because a lot of people do not take advantage of all of the marketing that they could be doing. Now could you combine this marketing admin with a virtual assistant? Absolutely, this could be the same person. All of these could potentially be the same person, but these are the different roles. You can put people in to support your business. You can put people in to support your business.

Speaker 1:

And, lastly, a showing agent or a buyer's agent. If you have more business coming in than you can handle. A showing agent is going to be a game changer for you because they're able to do first showings or follow-up showings for your clients. They are also going to be able to attend the first half of a home inspection for you. They are able to do any licensed activities that are not high dollar value for you. Buyer agents can also be great because that allows you to shift out of working with buyers or just be very particular about what buyers you are taking. Going back to my example, when I was overwhelmed, pumping, I decided that I was not going to take buyers anymore. So I sent all buyers to all the agents at my brokerage and I only focused on listings, because that was the way that I was going to get the work-life balance that I was looking for.

Speaker 1:

So what could you shift to someone else in your business? Do you need a mentor or a coach? Do you need a virtual assistant doing admin or marketing? Do you need a transaction coordinator? How about a showing agent or a buyer's agent? And maybe I shouldn't say need. Do you want one? Because I think that's even more important. Do you want it? Do you feel like it would free up your time and your energy? Because that is the most important thing when you have more time and energy, you're able to invest either back in your business or into your well being or into your relationships. So hiring support is not an expense. It is literally an investment that gives you back your time and energy. We covered the business support systems that you need. Let's get into what might even be just as important as the home support systems that will keep you sane and there are a lot, and you can get creative on this.

Speaker 1:

So the first thing is we have to shift our mindset from household help isn't a luxury, it is a business strategy. Cleaning services, meal delivery, grocery delivery, laundry services why should these be budgeted like a business expense? You have to adopt an hourly mindset shift and that means your hourly rate. So what is your hourly rate? Let's just estimate it. It could be $100. It could be 200. It could be 500. Whatever your hourly rate is, if you could spend that let's say it's $100, if you could spend $100 to free up three hours a week to focus on your business or your self-care or spending time with your family, would you do that Unequivocally? For me, that is a hell's yes. So we have to stop thinking of it as money out the door. It is truly an investment, not only in your business but in your personal sanity.

Speaker 1:

The second piece and this might be a little controversial for some of you is that you need a partner who supports, not sabotage. It is so crucial to have clear communication with your partner or spouse about your business, what it requires of you time-wise, what it requires of you energy-wise, and they need to be on board with your success and you building this business. If they are not, they will sabotage it, even if it's not consciously, unconsciously. This also includes not being the only person to carry the mental load at home. That is a practical division of responsibilities in the home and it is not helping. It is co-owning the household. Now I took the Fair Play certification. I did not pay for my renewal, so I can't say that I'm certified, but I did go through the training program on Fair Play. And if you are not familiar, I did go through the training program on Fair Play.

Speaker 1:

And if you are not familiar, fair Play is a book and a concept developed by Eve Rodsky that introduces a system for balancing household responsibilities and if you know me, you know I love a good system. The whole goal is to reduce invisible labor. It's the mental load of managing a house that oftentimes falls on women and makes it hard for us and holds us back from achieving potential in our careers. It also has the added bonus of helping couples create fairer and more intentional partnerships. I know for me it's really important that I'm modeling this for my three kids. I want them to see what a fair and intentional partnership looks like, and that my husband and I are co-CEOs of our family. Mom isn't the one in charge, dad's not the one in charge. We are both in charge and we both manage the household responsibilities. The problem that Fair Play solves is that most women are carrying the burden of the household and family management even when both partners work. So this imbalance leads to resentment, it leads to burnout and relationship strain, and it also leads to holding women back in their careers, which is just not fair.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to give you just a summary of the Fair Play system. You can read the book and order the cards if you want, but basically it uses a card-based method where every household task is treated like a card and you go through this deck and decide which cards you're using. You can also create your own cards if you want, but you are negotiating with your partner, who's taking full ownership of the task, and that is key and they're not just helping, they're taking full ownership. So it encourages a mindset shift of each task needs to be handled from conception to execution. It's not just the doing of the task, it's also the mental load of noticing that it needs to be done, knowing that the laundry needs to be done weekly, that you're doing the laundry, you're putting it from the washer to the dryer, you're taking it out of the dryer, you're folding it and you're putting it away. So that is basically concept to execution.

Speaker 1:

The goal of Fair Play is that it's not about 50-50 fairness, but it's based on each partner's strengths, availability and their needs. So it's really about just being on the same page about what you are going to be doing, and I have found that this definitely reduces tension and resentment. It also frees up my time and mental energy for my career, for being a good mom and also for my own well-being. I think that this is such a great system that if you are feeling overwhelmed by the mental load at home, you can use Fair Play to really dive into how you can create a system that helps you, as an entrepreneur, avoid burnout, and it's also so crucial to women balancing their career and home life, and it also supports a healthier dynamic in your relationship. It's less nagging and more teamwork, which don't we all want that, all right, that's my soapbox about a supportive partner.

Speaker 1:

Getting off of it now. The next thing on your home team is reliable child care or pet care, and having a safe place that you know your kiddo is going to be taken care of or your pet is going to be taken care of really helps reduce the mental load and allows you to focus on what you need to focus on. So having your daycare center whether that's parents, whether you have friends that are helping you out, babysitters just having that source of reliable child care can be so helpful. You also need a personal support system. So, whether that are great friends, it could be real estate BFFs, it can be anyone who's supporting you personally. So probably not real estate BFFs because, let's be real, that probably falls in the business category, but they could also be your BFFs in real life.

Speaker 1:

But having friendships that energize you, not ones that drain you, because, let's be honest, we are dealing with people's emotions and stressful situations all day. In our day-to-day life, we are always putting out fires and if you have friends that are not supporting you, that are draining your energy, it's either time to set some boundaries or find some friends or start spending more time with the people that really fuel you up, that really light you up. So surrounding yourself with positive people who are supporting you at home friendship wise is so important. And lastly, on this list, this is optional, but I think a really good therapist is key to being a good real estate agent and having a balanced home life. My support team absolutely includes a good therapist and it is so crucial. I call it my brain cleaning, but I need to have somebody who's not my friends. I need to have somebody who is not my partner. I need to have somebody that is not invested in my life or my business to be able to get perspective and vent and figure out what is going on. So optional, but I do think it is very helpful.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if you're one of those people that is feeling guilty. So, like thinking of all of the support, you're like, oh, that's self-indulgent, I don't think I should do it or I should be able to handle this all myself. Other women seem to do it by themselves. Why can't I? It's selfish. Seem to do it by themselves. Why can't I? It's selfish. Okay, that's all bullshit. Would you judge a man for hiring a full-time assistant or a housekeeper or a nanny? No, so I don't know why we're judging ourselves. We are holding ourselves to a higher standard than we expect of other people. So I need you to give yourself permission to delegate and release the pressure. You are making an investment in your sanity and your business, no matter what support system you surround yourself with. You should not feel guilty.

Speaker 1:

Here are some action steps for you to take today. Write down three tasks that you can outsource in your business. I'm not saying you have to do them, but just start thinking about it. What could you outsource fairly easily in your business? Also, what are three household responsibilities that you could potentially delegate to a third party or split more evenly with your partner, if you have a partner? And once you have these tasks and responsibilities laid out, have one conversation with a potential support person who could take this off your plate, whether that's a virtual assistant, a transaction coordinator, a coach, a therapist is one conversation you can have this week to move the needle on implementing a support system that's really going to help you not only thrive in business but thrive personally.

Speaker 1:

Success is never a solo act. Every thriving woman in real estate has built a team around them at work and at home, whether you see it or not, and I personally am so incredibly grateful to my team at work and at home. They free me up to focus on the things that I do best, the places where in my business and in my life, where I should be spending the most time and energy, because time and energy are finite and we need to be so intentional about where we are spending it. You do not have to do it all, you just have to do what matters the most. So that is my challenge Take one action today to build your support system.

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Lindsay Dreyer

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