Gratitude That Grows — Design Your VIP Referral Strategy

Referrals are the gold standard for real estate agents—but most agents don’t treat them like the gold they are. In this episode, Lindsay walks you through how to turn your thank you into a true relationship-building system that honors your biggest supporters and drives consistent, high-quality leads.

Whether you're a seasoned REALTOR® or a real estate agent who wants to grow without chasing every lead on the internet, this episode gives you a referral gratitude plan that actually works (and feels good to do).

What You’ll Learn:

• Why referrals are never random (and what really earns them)
• The 4 key ingredients of a standout referral gratitude system
• How to identify your real estate referral VIPs—and treat them accordingly
• Ideas for gifts and gestures that feel personal, not promotional
• Why gratitude is the secret sauce for a referral-based business
• How to create consistent, trackable touchpoints—without breaking the bank

Referrals don’t come from marketing. They come from trust. And trust is built through intentional, consistent, human connection. This episode helps you do exactly that—without fancy dinners or a massive budget.

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Chapters

• 1:08 Workshop Invitation: Aligned AF
• 2:08 Why Referral Gratitude Matters
• 3:40 Defining Your Referral VIPs
• 6:40 The Four-Step VIP Plan
• 12:36 Tiered Gifting That Feels Personal
• 16:55 Systematize Your Gratitude

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:34

Quick pause. I have something really special for you. On Thursday, November 20th from 1 to 3 p.m. Eastern, I am hosting Aligned AF, a workshop that is going to help you get organized your business and your life for 2026. This is a two-hour guided workshop where we will look at what worked in 2025 and design a life and business you actually want in 2026. We will get aligned on what your business goals are along with your personal goals. We will dream bigger and also get practical on how we are going to make things happen. Think of it as your intentional kickoff to the new year that's done before the holiday crazy hits. Seats are limited. This is an intimate 15-person session. So grab yours now at happyagent.link slash 2026. Again, that's happyagent.link slash 2026. And link is also in the show notes. I cannot wait to plan with you. Hello, friends. Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Happy Agent Co-Podcast. I am Lindsay Dreyer, your host, real estate coach, mama three, and brokerage owner. It is the season of gratitude. And today we are diving into referral gratitude. How to thank your best clients. Referrals are the holy grail of real estate. Like every agent that says, I built a referral-based business, we're like, oh, I'm so jealous of you. You only work by referrals. There's no Zillow lead chasing or being on social media. And honestly, they're the dream scenario because they come with trust already baked in. That's why referral-based businesses are the holy grail. But honestly, most agents don't treat referrals like they actually matter. So you get a name. Maybe you shoot off a thank you text. Honestly, there's some agents that don't even send a thank you, which is not okay. Maybe you shoot them a Starbucks gift card and that's it. So today I want to flip that. What if you had a system that made your referral partners feel like VIPs? What if they knew and they didn't just assume that their trust in you actually meant something, that you were grateful for it? So today we're building your referral gratitude plan, which is hopefully one that feels good, reflects your brand, and deepens the relationships that matter most to you and your business. So why does referral gratitude matter? I want you to know that referrals are not random. They are a result of first and foremost trust. These people trust you and they trust you to do a good job. So they know that you are not going to embarrass them when they send someone your way to work with you. They know that you are just a pro, you are personable, and you are going to take excellent care of that referral. So first and foremost, they are not random. You have built an immense amount of trust. The second is that there's a personal connection. They feel connected to you as a human being. That is the second piece. People are not going to send you business if they feel like it's transactional, if they feel like you're a robot. They really want to know that you have a true authentic connection. So it's the trust and the authentic connection. And then it's how you made someone feel during and after the transaction. So if these referrals are coming from past clients, they are referring based on the experience that they had with you. So if you made them feel taken care of and special and not stressed out and maybe had some fun, they know that someone that works with you is going to get that experience too. So it really is about that connection and consistency that they experienced during and after the transaction. This is like a whole other episode we could dive into, but those are the basics: trust, connection, and how you made someone feel during and after the transaction. So who are these referral VIPs? These are probably clients that you over-delivered for, like clients that just absolutely loved working with you. It's also those friends and family who always talk you up. They just think that you're the best personally and professionally. Can also be vendors like mortgage, home inspection, insurance agents. It could be fellow colleagues. So it could be agents, referral agents, could also be community leaders who just believe in the work that you do or they just know you and they know that you're awesome at it. And also, you know, it's that one person that always tags you on every local Facebook housing post. Like, yeah, girl, I know that my local painter always tags me, which I always think is really cute. So knowing who those VIPs are is really important because referrals are a choice. And these people don't owe you anything. They don't owe you their trust. They don't owe you their referrals, but they do give them. And that really deserves more than a$5 Starbucks gift card and a you're the best. This isn't necessarily about gifting because honestly, you don't even have to do gifting to be a really good gratitude practice person, but it is about gratitude because that builds a relationship. And that's goes back to the trust and the connection aspect, which is going to feed your referral-based business. All right, so I have four steps for you on how to build your VIP referral plan. So step one is identify your VIPs. Step two is creating a three-tier system. Step three is systemizing the gratitude if you can. And then step four is closing the loop. All right, let's get into step one, which is identifying your VIPs. There are so many agents that have not done this. They do not have this list, so we need to make it. We are going to make it actually not in your head, in your CRM or on a spreadsheet. And categories you can include are past clients who have referred you even once, your business best friends. So these are your vendors who drop your name regularly, vendors who send deals your way, and online community referrals. So this could be your Instagram taggers, Facebook groups, DMs, all that good stuff. So I want you to go through and find all of those VIPs that have sent you business in the past two to three years, because those are typically going to be your best sources of future referral business. Now I like to either tag these as referral VIP or VIPs in my CRM. Or if you're using a Google Sheet, you could have a separate column where they're checked off. And then you need to update this. So if someone sends you a referral, make sure that you are putting them on the VIP list. If they drop your name, they make the list. Even if they didn't turn it into a deal yet, because we are rewarding referrals, we are not rewarding closings. This is another mistake a lot of agents make is that they wait until closing to honor or express gratitude for the referral. And that is not the way to do it. Step two is all about getting into a system. So you are going to create a three-tier system. And this can be based on your natural style. This is where you can kind of have some fun and like really throw in what feels authentic to you. So I like to have three tiers. The first tier is your first-time referrer, second tier is repeat referrer, and then your tier three is like your super connectors. Those are your ride or dies. They send you lots of referrals, and they just basically are amazing. Like they just rock. Most successful agents have like five to ten super, super VIPs. Um, if you have more than that, rock on. But these are your people that send multiple referrals each year. So let's dive into your tier one. This is your first-time referrer. Definitely send a thank you card, handwritten. You can include a small thoughtful gift if you want to. It could be like your go-to book, maybe a favorite snack, maybe coffee or card, could be a coffee mug, whatever that person would find thoughtful. That's the biggest piece. Make sure you are thanking them for the referral and specifically mentioning the person by name. So thank you for referring Johnny to me. I love working by referral. And also just mention that if there's anything that you can help them with in the future, that you're always there for them. So it's about thanking them, but then also letting them know that you are always there for them as well. Now, your tier two, repeat referrer, you're gonna treat them a little differently. So maybe it's an up-leveled gift, like a plant or flowers or something that they're really going to appreciate. And then I'm all about the surprise and delight. So it could be like dropping it off at their workplace, um, maybe something like customized. So if they have dogs or kids, you're getting something customized with like the names of their dog or their kid. But this is really where you can add the personal touch and reference something about them. So you're gonna go a little higher on this because they have sent you more than one referral. And then for your tier two, these are your super connectors. These are just like your raving, raving fans. Now, this could be quarterly or annual custom gift. Um, it could be an invite to a VIP client dinner or appreciation experience. That's actually my favorite because you're connecting like all of your favorite people in one place and they tend to really like each other. So doing like a wine dinner, um, it could be a like theater experience, really anything that your people would appreciate. Um, and you could break this off into different groups. So if you have people who are really into theater, you could take those people to theater, or it could be people who are really into like outdoorsy stuff. It could be like a rock climbing expedition, like whatever fits your people. This is where you can really have fun. And because you are just doing it for a super exclusive set of people, it does not have to be crazy expensive. It really is about the thoughtfulness in creating an experience that your super connectors would really, really love. Also, making sure that you're still thanking them every time a referral comes in with a handwritten note. And it is all about the thoughtfulness. Like gratitude is about I thought of you specifically, and I'm thanking you. So it is important that it does not feel generic. It is not about how much you spend, but it is about how intentional it feels. So thought trumps budget every single time. Now, let's get into step three, which is systematizing the gratitude. Now, a lot of people think that this means like put them on a postable and like have a birthday card sent every year. And that is not what I'm talking about. This is more about do not rely on your memory, make it a part of your rhythm. So setting a recurring monthly task of check my referral list and send thank yous, um, or check referral list and plan events. So it's making it a monthly priority to focus on your referral gratitude. Also, track your gifts and messages that you've sent. So whether that's in your CRM or it's a separate Google Sheet or Excel doc, but really making sure that you're tracking everything that you have done for your VIPs. I personally like keeping it in a separate sheet just so it's like really in my face and I'm able to track that monthly. Um I'm a big CRM user, but like everything gets kind of like grouped in there and lumped in there. So I like to track the gifts and messages in a separate document. Also, getting updated mailing addresses can be part of your system. So maybe once a year you're requesting just updated mailing addresses for your referrals. Anything you can do to just make it so you are not relying on your memory alone and that you actually have a plan in place is a great way to systematize it. Now, can you bring in delegation a hundred percent, but it is not required. The last step, step four, is closing the loop. So after the initial thank you, this is really what deepens the relationship is you can share how it turned out. So Sarah closed on her dream house last week. Thank you again for sending her to me. Um, it means the world to me that you thought of me. And just having like a really heartfelt note sent to them is really nice. Just checking in, um, sending content you know that they love, whether it's a podcast or a local event or a product you thought of, tagging them and something that they care about. Again, this is all about relationship building. So one thank you isn't enough. It is a relationship built over time. And you want to make your appreciation a pattern, not necessarily a one-off. It is about the gratitude for the relationship, not just the referral. The really exciting part is that you can really make this about you and them. Like it can make, it can be personal, but nobody wants a generic mug with your logo on it. If it's has a logo on it, it is not a gift. It is marketing. So you want to build a gratitude system that reflects your personality, it reflects their preferences and their personality, as well as your brand values. So you can get creative with these personal gifting ideas. It could be a book that changed your mindset with a sticky note explaining why you're gifting it to them, local treats from a small business that you think they would love. It could be a donation in their name to a cause that they care about. Um, custom playlists are fun. It could be a recipe you saw that you thought they'd enjoy, or maybe a wellness product. And it could be a voice note instead of just a card. Um, or you could do both, but it's all about really creative and personal gifting and gratitude. Fancy is not required. You do not have to spend a ton of money on this, but being consistent and really focusing on the relationship beats extravagance every single time. And your goal is not to be impressive, your goal is to make people feel seen and appreciated. So, your challenge this week is who are your top five VIPs and how can you appreciate them in a way that feels personal and authentic to you? That's that's it. Let's express some gratitude. It is the season of gratitude, so it is not weird. I always love using Thanksgiving as a way to express gratitude to the people in my life. So November, it's it's the month of gratitude, people. So let's do it. So if you want a business that grows from referrals, you have to treat referrals like the gold that they are. It is not just once a year. It is not just again, it's not just this month. It is all the time. And it's not just when you have time. It is literally every single month you need to be focusing on these people. These are the people that trust you enough to send you their people. And honestly, that's not marketing, that's just loyalty, and that is the trust that you built that you worked so hard to build. And the best way to honor that is not with branded water bottles, but it is with consistency, it is with authenticity, and it is with actual gratitude. You do not need a big budget, you just need a real plan, and hopefully, now that you have one. You guys are the best, and I know that you have got this. So get out there and thank your people. Let's show some gratitude. If you have an agent who needs to hear this episode, please feel free to forward it. And if you've not reviewed the podcast yet, I would so appreciate it. It really helps me get the word out to agents like you that you can build a business that you love. Until next time, stay happy.