Deep Dive Dialogues with Dan Woerheide

Stop Selling, Start Serving: The Key to Coaching Success

• Dan Woerheide • Episode 6

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In this episode of Deep Dive Dialogues, I’m challenging the myth that you need a niche to succeed as a coach. Inspired by the insights of Steve Chandler, author of The Prosperous Coach, I’ll share why focusing on serving instead of selling has been the most powerful shift in my coaching practice. I’ll also break down three simple yet transformative principles that have helped me create meaningful client relationships—one conversation at a time. Whether you’re just starting or looking for a fresh perspective, this episode will help you rethink how you approach coaching and client creation.

Links and Resources
If this episode resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s one way you can shift from selling to serving in your next conversation? Reach out to me or share this episode with someone who might find it helpful. And if you’d like to explore what coaching could look like for you, let’s have a conversation—no pitches, no pressure, just connection.

My Website www.danw.us
My podcast resource page:
https://podcast.danw.us/

Steve Chandler - https://www.stevechandler.com
How to Get Clients - https://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Clients-Pathways-Prosperity/dp/1600251617

The Prosperous Coach - https://www.amazon.com/Prosperous-Coach-Increase-Income-Clients/dp/1600250300

37 Ways to Boost Your Coaching Practice - https://www.amazon.com/Ways-BOOST-Your-Coaching-Practice/dp/1600250289

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to Deep Dive Dialogues. I'm your host, dan Warheide, and today I wanted to talk to you about something that I found to be a bit of a myth, if you will, in the coaching industry, and that is the idea that you need to define a niche. It's a French word. I learned this from the person I'm going to be talking about in just a little while, steve Chandler. So it's correct pronunciation apparently is niche. Either way, however you pronounce it I've heard it a hundred times. You probably have too you need to find your niche, narrow your focus, market your specialty. But here's the thing focusing too much on finding a niche can actually work against you, and if you're anything like me, it actually caused more frustration than anything. So bear with me on this one and I'll walk you through the key ideas that sort of contribute to this realization. Ideas that sort of contribute to this realization. Before I go on, let me just say that if you have a niche and it's working for you or you haven't chosen, excuse me, you have chosen a niche because it's an area that you love working in, then there's nothing wrong with that. That's wonderful, and what I'm about to cover will still make sense for you as well. There's no reason to change what you're doing at all unless, of course, there is.

Speaker 1:

Let me tell you that you know I kind of alluded to it, but for several years I beat my head against the wall on this one and you might already be curious, like I was. You can probably relate to that feeling. Curious, like I was, you can probably relate to that feeling. So there's a lot of experts and trainings that teach this concept and perpetuate this ideology. But here's the real deal right, it just never felt right for me. In fact, I just said, it became frustrating when I was speaking with different coaches and they were telling me this is the one thing I was missing and it's what I had to do in order to be successful or to enhance my success. And I just had a lot of difficulty with this idea as a coach, choosing this specific area of focus, and not because I felt like I wanted or could serve everyone, because that's simply not true but I knew inherently that something was just off for me. But then I heard something shared by Steve Chandler and in fact it was my coach whom I was speaking with about this particular topic and my frustrations that every time this had come up. He shared this with me originally frustrations that every time this had come up. He shared this with me originally.

Speaker 1:

Steve Chandler is a coach that I would consider one of the true pioneers, if you will, in today's coaching. He's the author of the Prosperous Coach, co-author with Rich Litvin, which I've mentioned here before. He's got several other great books, such as how to Get Clients and 37 Ways to Boost your Coaching Practice, among others, and in there he shares a lot of these ideas. And when you culminate these ideas, is that the right word? When you put all these different pieces together, you kind of come to some of the conclusions that I want to share with you here today, of the conclusions that I want to share with you here today, and I believe he truly has a powerful perspective on this. He argues that a niche is not only unnecessary but counterproductive. Instead of narrowing your focus to a niche, he suggests and I suggest focusing on serving one person at a time, focusing on creating impact for that person, one conversation at a time, and this distinction between selling versus serving we're going to talk about as well. It's the key to building a truly prosperous coaching business. So let me just read to you what was shared with me and offer it here for you to consider, and then I'm going to break it down just a little bit.

Speaker 1:

So Steve Chandler says most coaching certification programs urge novice coaches to find and choose a niche, a specialty. I've never encountered such counterproductive nonsense. Most of the coaches I know who are extremely successful have no niche at all. A niche would actually limit them. It would shut them off from many categories of people who are yearning for their help. I know coaches who emerge from certification programs crowing about the niche that they've served. They have no paid clients, but they have a niche. Let's see. Only time I see a niche working in a coach's favor is when it emerges on its own. If you have a certain success in a certain category and it can happen by accident you can now go to other people who are interested in that category and they are more likely to listen to your success stories. But even then, you don't have to let it be a tool to restrict you.

Speaker 1:

So most coaching certification programs will tell you to pick a niche before you do anything else. They'll have you focus on a specific market and create marketing materials and define a message to sell your coaching. But, as Steve would argue and I would too this approach puts your energy in the wrong place. You end up spending more time defining your niche than actually helping people or serving people. He also says that I know coaches who come out of a certification program crowing about their niche. They have no paid clients, but they have a niche, and that's the problem. A niche doesn't bring clients. What brings clients is connection, connection with people through conversation, and when you focus on serving others rather than selling, the pressure to define a niche suddenly disappears.

Speaker 1:

Now let's be clear. If you're in the business of selling coaching as a product, a niche would make perfect sense. It gives you a target audience that you can market to, but coaching isn't a product, it's a relationship isn't a product, it's a relationship. And when you focus on the person in front of you, serving them, one conversation at a time, that need for a niche fades into the background. This is where that distinction between selling and serving becomes wildly important, because selling is about convincing someone to buy what you're offering. It's very transactional, it's focused on you and your agenda, and what your needs are Serving, on the other hand, is about helping the person in front of you, living into their world. It's relationship-based and it's focused on what their needs are, not yours. When you're focused on serving, you're not trying to enroll a bunch of people at once or trying to target a broad market. You're simply present in each and every moment, engaging with one person and seeing if you can make a difference in their world. That shift from selling to serving is what's going to open new doors for people and it creates new possibilities. And I say people, not just coaches, because there are a lot of businesses can benefit from this shift in mindset from selling to serving.

Speaker 1:

I used to think that I needed to sell my coaching. I've been there, I mentioned it before, I've done all of the low fee hourly rates and these are all things that I'm hoping to get to sharing more about in the future, you know, but, like you may have experienced, you know I talked about all the benefits, the frameworks that were incorporated or that I had access to, and all the different features and breaking it down into productization of what my coaching could look like. But when I shifted to serving and just having those real conversations, helping people with the challenges they were experiencing, things started to change. People stopped feeling like they were being pitched to and started to see the value of working with me and that I could potentially help them with different challenges that they were experiencing. That they were experiencing, and what's probably most important, is that I get to enjoy these conversations so much more than any conversation where I felt like I was pitching my services.

Speaker 1:

I've said it in different forums, but I don't entertain the conversation about tell me why I should hire you. I'll slow somebody down at that point and say wait a minute, I'm not sure that I want to work with you. I don't know if I can help you and I don't know what your challenges look like. So let's just have a conversation and see where this goes. So there are three principles that Steve shared for a prosperous coaching practice. There are three powerful principles that align perfectly with this idea of serving and not selling. So let's jump into these. The first powerful principle is selling the experience, not the concept. It's to sell the experience of coaching, not the concept of coaching.

Speaker 1:

Most coaches are trying to explain what coaching is, how it works, what it includes, what the benefits are, and that's simply just an abstract idea and it doesn't really help someone decide whether they trust you, whether you can create a safe space for them, whether or not they want to work with you, to save space for them, whether or not they want to work with you. Instead, you want to give them the experience of what that coaching feels like and what the potential is in those changes that you're able to make in that person's world. If someone were interested in coaching, for example, I don't start by explaining my methods or outlining a program. I say something along the lines of what's the biggest challenge you're experiencing right now and tell me about your world. You know where are the challenges in that and then we can dive into a conversation that really is coaching around that challenge. By the end of the conversation, they've experienced the value of, or potentially the value of, the coaching that I offer all by themselves. They don't need me then to sell them the experience or sell them the coaching. They've seen what's possible and when you highlight that possibility for people, that's what really leads to enrollment of new clients, really leads to enrollment of new clients.

Speaker 1:

The second powerful principle that Steve shares is to stay in the prospects world. We've kind of talked on this for a second, but this means that you want to focus entirely on them and their challenges, what their goals are, what is their vision for the future? What are they trying to create? Too often coaches fall into this trap of trying to impress people or their potential clients with all of their different credentials, the frameworks, the expertise and all the benefits again, but that shifts the focus away from that person that you're trying to help back into your world. He goes on to explain that when you make the conversation about you, it actually can intimidate the prospect. They might think this coach is too good for me or what if I can't live up to this person's expectations. But if you approach the conversation with curiosity and humility, you meet them where they are and you can much more connect with, relate to their experiences. An example if someone shares that they're struggling with confidence, you may be able to say something like you know I've been there, I know what that feels like simple act of connection that can make all the difference and shows that you're relational with them and you're still focused on their world, not coming back to yours and how you believe you can make a difference in their life.

Speaker 1:

This one that he shares is the third powerful principle that he shares is what Steve calls the samurai point Die before you go into battle. In other words, let go of any attachments to the outcomes of that conversation. I've talked about this a number of times in different forums and I might've shared it here on the podcast. But I started this podcast with no attachment other than creating the content that I wanted to create. This podcast was for me more than anybody else. It's about tackling a writer's block challenge that I was experiencing and I wanted to work on shifting my mindset towards that. So I set out to shift from interview-based podcasts, which I'd done previously, to creating a solo podcast that may have some interviews interspersed in here. We're not sure yet, but it really is. That's the outcome I want from this podcast is simply to enjoy the process of creating and to work on a mindset challenge that I was having around. You know, expressive or creative writing, so to speak. Again, I don't know the word for blank page for a podcast, but you get the idea. I hope so.

Speaker 1:

He goes on to say you know the outcome of that conversation if you let go of that. If not, the client can see that you may be desperate, that your energy is different and it might push them away. But if you approach that same conversation with simple curiosity and a desire to help them with the challenge that they're experiencing, then you're both able to relax more and connect at a more authentic way. In a more authentic way Again, words can be challenging, right? So here's how you can think about that. Yes, like you, I need clients to run my business, but I don't need this client. There are billions of people in the world and I'm just here to see if I can help this person that's in front of me right now. That mindset frees me from any pressure to sell anything, any pressure to create an income from this particular conversation, and just really allows me to settle in and truly connect with that individual. And when I'm not trying so hard to sign somebody well, they're more likely to want to work with me.

Speaker 1:

When you're relaxed about it and you approach this from a you know hey, no pressure here, no strings, no obligations, no expectations that you'll ever become a paying client, let's just see if we can figure this out together they're more inclined to want to see what else you can do to transform something in their life. So when you focus on serving one person at a time, you're not just building a coaching business, you're creating relationships, meaningful relationships, and, as you can. If I could talk again, here we go, as you can see, hopefully at this point, that if you're creating relationships with individuals, people, each person that stands in front of you, each person you run into, that may have a challenge. It doesn't require a niche, a niche approach Whichever word you choose. It does require presence. It requires the ability to be curious and ask questions and a genuine desire to help. One powerful conversation at a time you can build a prosperous coaching business without ever needing to box yourself into any specific category.

Speaker 1:

So here's what I'd like to say, one if this resonates with you at all. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and you don't have to agree with me. I'd still love to hear your thoughts. What's worked well for you, feel free to share. You can reach me if you go to my podcast page at podcastdanwus. You can leave me a voicemail there or send me a note If you sign up for my mailing list.

Speaker 1:

I don't send out a bunch of spam. I don't send out newsletters. I send out podcast updates at the moment, and there is a couple of things that may be coming up that I'd love to share with you, but you can feel free to opt out at any time. If something isn't a good fit for you, I don't mind. But you can sign up on the same page for my mailing list and when you get that welcome email, simply reply back to that. You can email me there, but I'd love for you to reach out with me. I'd love for you to reach out to me and share what your thoughts are and what I'd love also to hear what's one way you can shift from selling to serving in your next conversation.

Speaker 1:

Finally, I'd love it if you can share this episode with someone you might think would find it helpful and, of course, if you'd like to explore what a conversation with me could look like for you if you have a challenge in your business or you have a challenge going on in your world. I don't know if I can help you, but I'm happy to talk to you and we can have a conversation around that. There's no pitches, no pressure, just a genuine connection. So, again, just reach out to me and you can visit my website to apply to work with me. Again, there's no strings, no obligations, no expectations, but you can reach me that way. That just allows me to get some additional information beforehand and then I'll shoot you over a link to schedule our time together. So thank you for joining me today on another episode of Deep Dive Dialogues and until next time, remember this one conversation, one person, one step at a time can create a world of new possibility and a prosperous business.