Navigating Mother’s Day When Mom Is Gone

Recorded May 10, 2026. Mother’s Day can hit like a wave, especially when your mom is gone, your relationship is complicated, or her health is fading. We sit down with a raw, kingdom-centered conversation about grief, memory, and what it looks like to keep living with love in your heart instead of loss on the throne. We also share personal stories, from family traditions and music memories to the quiet moments where you realize you cannot “power through” a hard day.

We dig into a framework that changes how you process pain: grief is what you feel, and mourning is what you do with those feelings. That one distinction opens the door to real healing, because it helps you acknowledge sadness without letting it take root in bitterness. From a biblical lens, we talk about the nation of Israel mourning Moses and how God gave them space, then called them forward with Joshua, showing that comfort and courage can exist in the same season.

We also zoom out to explore what makes a mother’s love unique, why nurture matters in parenting, and why Jesus made sure his mother was cared for even on the cross. If you’re carrying loss, we want you to feel seen, supported, and reminded that the Father is present and the Holy Spirit comforts in real time. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

Transcript

Welcome And Weekly Catch Up

SPEAKER_02 0:03

This is the Gospel Twins with your host John and John, your go to podcast for the kingdom perspective on current events and the good news God has for the culture. People have got to be doing that.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

I am Sean. Now John. We do what we do. Yeah, what up, though? Keeping the main thing, the main thing.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Keeping it the main thing, bro.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Keeping the kingdom.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Keeping it. Kingdom, man. Come on, bruh. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Dude, what's going on, man? What's been going happening in your week, bruh?

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Man, it's like I'm I'm just uh focused on the relaunch, the refocus. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

I like that. The refocus. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Yes. So uh yes, I just yesterday, you know, the my boys lost yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

So oh man, yeah, yeah. I didn't even get to watch it, but yeah. Yeah, but I mean, but they they they they they got a good comeback spirit in them, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:08

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not down. We have two one. And oh, okay, okay, yeah. Cleveland did what they supposed to do at home.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

At home, I mean, bro, take care of the house, you know.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

We still could have won it though.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

Um yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

But other than that, man, uh just you know, uh I'll just watching basketball all day. Just hey man, why wifey's still on the mushroom, huh?

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Oh, hey, bruh. Hey, man, when it's there, you know, when it's there, get it, man. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

She was um she felt cash, she's she said she she don't have anything to do now. She says because it's only for a short season, right? It's a season, man.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Tap in when it's there, man. Get it, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

I think she grabbed like I think she said two and a half pounds. Yes, oh man, and then before that, yeah, yeah. And I forgot to tell you the other day she went and grab some more pounds. Man, I shouldn't know how to find these boys, man. This she has an eye, like she she was taught that certain trees have uh morales around them, and she has she hasn't given up that she's gatekeeping on that, so oh okay. That's what's up, shout out, sis.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Get it, get it, right?

SPEAKER_03 2:35

That's what's up. Happy Mother's Day to wifey.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

Yes, yeah, so yeah, we woke up this morning and um and I don't let John talk, but uh he lost his mom. And so I was curious uh how does he navigate through a holiday like today when he celebrates moms and what they've done, and so I was just curious uh how he navigated through the day because he has to be, you know, it has to be trying at times, maybe. You know, he you get spiritually uh mature, it's not as as difficult as it was before, but it still has to be something way, some type of way, uh weight on your heart and on your spirit, maybe. So I just wanted to take your brain on that. And then like you we speak we spoke before that you know, you know, my you know, my mom is convalescent, and and so uh like today uh I want to check take her to see the Michael Jackson move. But we had supposed seen it weeks ago, but we had to keep off postponing it because due to her health and yeah, mom and then out the hospital. So yesterday I was on the phone with her. I call I think I called her three times. You good?

SPEAKER_04 3:50

Good, good, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

I'm good, we going. All right, I don't like the show. I was like, because I don't want her. That's like I was telling you, I don't want you to force it. Yeah, you don't feel good. Um, you know, take care of yourself and this movie's still gonna be there. We right right we're gonna get there. I just want you to feel better, and I want you to enjoy it when we do go.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Absolutely, absolutely, and I love that man for y'all because that mic, man, y'all had that in common, man. You know, yeah, yeah. Your mom was just so she was so dope back in the day, man. When and and you know, feeding that that that flame and that relationship you had for Mike, man. Your mom was just so dope with that, dude. She used to bring all them posters and buttons, and yeah, man. She I love that. And I love how y'all had that in common, you know. Yeah, and your mom loved music and stuff, and so you get all that stuff honest, man. And uh, and that's dope that y'all get to share that, man.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

It's cool when you have a have a you know, have something like that you that you really enjoy, you you really into, and yeah, and your parents feed it and yeah, yes, you know, because she could just like nah, you know, just like right, that's right. You didn't get over that and all, you know. She was on board, man.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

She was, man, and I love that too, bro. I love that. She used to have the dope penny loafers and all that stuff, man. I was man, I was like, I used to envy that, bro. I was like, I mean, my mom loved Mike too, and she but she didn't feed, they got me to beat it jacket, you know, and all that, but they didn't they didn't like really feed it, like you said. They didn't feed the machine, bro, you know. So, but I love that because to this day, man, you are a you're part of you know a lot of who you are musically, man, is because of your mom, you know. And uh yeah, dude, I love that, man.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

And I was and I was glad that I was able to, you know, uh I hone my Michael Jackson skills. So when I got older, yeah, and I was dancing. I was my mom was when I was taking around, she was going to all my to all my gigs, yeah. And she'd be right in the front row yelling. See if you uh if you find any videos of me doing Michael Jackson, if that that person you hear screaming, I love that, man. That's my baby. I'm like, that's my baby.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

I love that, man. I love that, bro. That is so dope, man. That is so dope. And and that's and that's rare, dude. You know, to have that, you know, in in your mom and just the relationship y'all had, man. I I was able to just witness that growing up firsthand, and uh yeah, I I just I really dug that, man.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

Okay, man. I'd like to pick your brain on this because we know we have some we have some people in the in the fold, man. It's probably dealing with grief and yeah, you know, um, yeah, it's loss of parents, mother. I mean talking about mother today, but you know, yeah, parents in general. But absolutely grief, because grief is it's hard to deal with. I mean, uh try to learn to deal with.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

Um like I told you before, my cousin, uh my cousin lost his son. And um, I want to say it's three years. And and I and I'm not, and I'm still thinking that they still because every time I see him, he'll bring it up, like, yeah, man, we you know, we did this about my for my son and all that. So yeah, he's still grieving.

Grieving Versus Mourning

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Wow. Man, it bruh, that grief boy is uh um it it it's a it's a tough one, man, to navigate. And um it, you know, like you mentioned, man, you know, when you when you when you're rooted in Christ, you know, and and you s you know, grow you know and mature spiritually, you can navigate it, you know, um better. But yeah, when there are moments, seasons, times, you know, especially day like today, uh, it gets a little more challenging. You can feel the the weight of it because every it's everyone's celebrating, you know, and in that celebration of of your mother, a lot of people are able to go and see, you know, their their mother, you know, or or give them a call if you're not, you know, in the same state, or you know, whatever you can do. But when you don't have that uh that outlet, you know, the the enemy attend to try and get you to turn it inwardly and and turn it into an a grieving moment, you know. And then when you asked me, you know, when we were off the air, um, and people God, I just want to, you know, just mention that we were not intending to come and talk about this today at all. We had a a whole nother topic. And when uh Higgs was asking me, uh, off the air, just really just checking on me, you know, how you doing, man, you know, and you know, because we're doing the podcast and everything, you know, so he kind of doing a heat check. Am I good? And uh we just started talking about it. And then as I'm going on, he was like, Man, this would be a really good um, you know, subject matter to to talk to the you know, the people about. And uh, and we just shifted, you know, right then. And this people are this is what it means to just, you know, be living in the kingdom, walking in the spirit, and having that person in your life, you know, that can walk this out with you and make those pivots and changes, and that it blesses you and it can bless others. So uh we literally just shifted seconds before coming into uh to do the podcast. So we just want to thank the Lord for that. And um, yeah, so and uh when you ask me how to how am I navigating, how am I doing it, you know, and how am I feeling. And you know, the the thing is is that you know, the Lord taught me some time ago about the difference between mourning and grieving. And when you grieve, you you f it's it it's from a place of suffering loss, you know, that you lost something or someone. And that's a real thing. And we we don't minimize that by any means, nor nor does the Lord. You know, he gives us those spaces to you know to process through those feelings, man. He he he is not so distant that he can't be touched with the feelings of our infirmities, man. He's right there in the midst, right there with it, and he's felt it himself. Um you know, so we can't discount grief, but we also gotta be very careful that grief doesn't set up a root in us, because you start feeling that loss, and that root of loss that gets planted in you will start ushering in other things that you have that same relationship with, of feeling loss, you know, like so, even when relationships and it'll begin to taint everything, like you know, the word says it a root of bitterness springing up, and it's just you know, defiling you know, the person and those who they come in contact with. So all of these things you have to guard towards. So, and like we were talking about, and we just keep it like we say, we keep everything kingdom, we keep it rooted. When the Lord, when Moses, man, you know, when he died with the children of Israel, now you got to look at the whole context, man. People came out, was following him. He led them out of, they've been in bondage for centuries. And he here comes their leader, he leads them out. The mighty hand of God works through him to bring all these people out, and he's taking them into this promised land that's been promised for just centuries, like we said, man, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. And here he goes, man, this liberator, this deliverer, and he dies, man. And then you got millions of people, whole nation mourning, man, like our leader is dead, bro. I mean, he what and we out here in the middle of the wilderness, and what are we supposed to do? You know what I mean? They don't see all the grooming that got, you know, was happening with Joshua. Yeah, they see he is a leader, but he ain't Moses, right? You know, and um the Lord gave the people that time, man, that space. But he shows up after about 30 days, man. He's like, look, Moses, my servant, is dead. You know, we we got life to keep living. I'm still taking y'all into this promised land. So um, you know, let's get it. You know, I got Joshua, and then he got to tell Joshua, I'm with you, man. I'm gonna just like I was with Moses, I'm gonna be with you. So step into this, be strong, be courageous. You're gonna be able to take these people in. So he had to re-establish. He said, and then he told Joshua, and I'm gonna magnify you in the sight of the people. So he's doing that so the people because he knows the heart of the people, man, and what grief does. And he was like, I have to do something mighty in you so they can shift their focus from that lost season with Moses and go into, you know, this progressive one with you. And so they'll see it that I'm with you just like I was with Moses. And and he does that, and you know, and and you know, the story goes on. But the principle of it, man, it it is that was on a big, huge scale. I mean, you got a nation mourning, a person, a whole nation, bro. And you know, and and he was not just a president or nothing like that, just leading and giving out law. He was literally hands-on with these people, man. And they had relationships, a nation had a whole relationship with an individual, you know, and um that was tough, and God knows that, man. And so he he's thinking of the hearts of the people, and so he does what he does in the life of Joshua. And even though that's a Mac big, huge macro level on a micro level, God knows, man, what I mean, a parent in the life of a child? Bro, that's just like Moses in the life, you know. I mean, this was my leader, this is the person that reared me, you know, my first bike, you know, my first taught me to walk, to talk, all this stuff, man. So you got all this history with your parent and particularly mothers, man, it just hit different. Um yeah, that nurturing, man. And it and all of a sudden that's gone. Yeah, you know, bro, that that grief will hit you and it's real. But we also gotta know in the midst of that, there's a real enemy that's looking always to exploit a situation. And this is why it's so imperative to walk with God, man, and have the uh Holy Spirit guiding you because He lets you have that, but you cannot stay in it, man, because it it robs you of so much, it is so paralyzing. Grief is and you gotta learn to shift from grief to mourning, and mourning is that oh man, this, you know, I really wish things would have been different. Um I I know that you know that this is the I'm gonna miss them. They'll always be in my heart. And you shift that, and then because the Lord said, Blessed are they that mourn, because they can be comforted. You can't be comforted in grief when you you you refuse it, you won't even allow it.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

I I'm when you were talking earlier, and you we you were talking about you know the difference between grief, grief, and mourning. I I ask I asked perplexity because I just I never really thought about that.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

You know, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Yes. So the grief is what you feel, and the mourning is what you do with those feelings.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

Yeah, that's that's that's a simple distinction. So that's powerful. Yeah, so if you might have any confusion, I just wanted to set that up.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yeah, no, say that, say that again.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Uh, the simple distinction between grief and mourning, grief is what you feel inside, mourning is what you do with those feelings.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

That's so accurate, that's powerful, and uh and man, that's perfect. And when you have the language of how to shift through that, see that that's the beauty of this technology, the AI, when you can use it, when you're spiritual and you're guiding the technology, it serves you perfect. But the same thing, like that's just a confirmation of what the Holy Spirit had shown me and walked me through years ago, you know. So that's just that's when science meets the spirit. It's just, you know, letting you science always confirms spirit, it never is antagonistic to it. And people just need to realize that. But that is beautiful, man. So yeah, with that grief, those feelings, they're real. But the Lord shows you what to do with them, convert it from grief to mourning, you know. Like, man, you the history is there. You acknowledge it, you not acknowledge the pain of that person no longer being there. But I technically didn't lose them. They transitioned out of this dimension, but everything they taught me, all the love, all the lessons, and everything are still there. That's what the heart is for. And this is why the Lord commands us guard your heart, protect it, because out of it flows the issues of life. Well, man, this person was very instrumental in all of the stuff that my life is consisting of, and but it's in my heart. I never lose it. And um, when you ask me that, like I just do normal, really practical things. When you say, How how are you how do you get through this? I told you, I just wake up, I tell Lord, Lord, I just I miss my mother. I I do feel the feelings, I feel the sadness, but I'm thankful for the time I had with her. I thank you that you chose her, you know, to be my mother, to rear me, to raise me, and bring me through life, to nurture me, like you said, and to give me uh the love and the lessons that I have in me. And I just thank you and I appreciate you for that. Because he's the God of the living, man. They're still alive, they're just not here, you know what I mean? So you miss their presence, their physical presence, but their spiritual essence is always with you. So that's part of the navigation. You thank God for for the time you had. Don't look at the loss, look at what you gained because of who they were and are to you in your life.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

That nurturing part was really I I spoke from like I spoke from experience when I said that because you know, I was a single dad. Yeah, I raised three daughters, and I didn't have I didn't have so much nurturing. I had to I had to lean on my mom for that.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Uh, because I wasn't married and I didn't, you know, I had girlfriends, but you know, I sure some of them, you know, some of them were you know I allowed to, you know be an influence in my my daughter's life, but most of it was my mom, and I needed her because I didn't have it. I was just discipline, I was, you know, I was the backbone, and you know, I was all about the rules and what I think. Yeah, right, exactly. And one thing I learned too, and I know moms, mothers usually grasp this, is when you're raising children that you don't you don't deal with them the same way. You know, it's not just one way. You have each children, each child has their own personality, very unique, absolutely. You gotta deal with it as such. I had to learn that the hard way. I was I was the same way with all three.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

But all yeah, that's just how men typically were wired like that.

SPEAKER_03 21:15

Yeah, and um, so my middle daughter is the one that just rejected you know how I was raising them, and so it was it didn't it, it didn't, it wasn't until we got older and I understood you know what I was doing, and yeah, and then um she forgave me. I had to ask for forgiveness. Wow, wow, she's like, he always yelling at the uh he always yelling at all the time. The other two could they could navigate through it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Right, right.

SPEAKER_03 21:44

She just like, no, I don't want to hear it. And she was shut, she was shut down, and so it was man, yeah. So mothers are special, bro.

Why A Mother’s Love Hits Different

Comfort, Prayer, And Final Encouragement

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Man, dude, they uh look, bro. I always say uh mothers are. So special, bro, that Christ in the middle of his work of eternal redemption stopped and told John, John, behold your mother and woman, behold your son. He made sure his mother was personally taken care of. And John took her into his home and took care of her. John was one of the last apostles that ever died, man. He lived a very long time. And all that time that he lived, John took care of Jesus' mother as she was his own mother. And man, for him to, for Christ to have that in his mind, that wasn't part of scripture. You can't find it anywhere. You can find prophecies of Jesus drinking the vinegar, saying, My God, where have you forsaken? You know, why all of that of him being on the cross, the crucifixion, and what it was about is is in scripture documented. The one thing you'll never find is anything about him stopping in the process to take care and speak to his mother's provisions, and for her to not feel that he knew, man, she's losing her son. This is not just the savior to her. This is her son, bro. And she's getting and she's witnessing him literally being murdered, you know, and but she's no, she knows it's happening because he's paying the price for sin. She understood that, but you can't. That's great and grand. But the emotion of her still not only losing her son, but experiencing him the way he's being taken. You know, she's watching this, man. That was you talking about a person that could have easily been consumed with grief, hatred for God. I mean, you can know all the calling and all of this all day, bro. But when it hit, when it hit on that Friday, bro, you are not thinking about eternity. You're thinking about right now, and I lost my son. She reared him, man. She raised him from, you know, this is her firstborn, bro. Son. And we we tend to we tend to remove ourselves out of the emotion of the in the realities of the story, man. But Christ's mothers are that special, you know. And uh, my mother used to always tell me that. She was like, you know, even when she was talking to me about how uh my wife's interaction was with my daughter, with Jasmine, and the stuff, you know, that she was uh willing to do, you know, because you you cross my disciplinary fences. I'm ready to go into the next level of discipline, you know. Like you said, you know, we want to deal with it just the one way. But, you know, the the mothers, they are so easy, they pivot, they know how to, you know, they know how to step back, they know how to win the port on. We just got our rules and our regulations, but man, my mother in that interaction, because I'd be over there talking to my mom, mom, she just doing, she's and she'd be like, son, let me tell you something. There is nothing like a mother's love. And I'm like, yeah, you know, I love my daughter too. I love her just as much as her mom. Yeah, but like, but you love her different. A mother's love is is, you know, like you said, that that nurturing piece, man, is that's how things grow through nurturing. Things don't grow through, look, God got a command for a seed on how it grows. You put it in the soil, you water it, and the sun, and you do and just take care of it. Um, that's how men are. We like the seed, put the seed in the ground, put some water on it, and let the sun shine on it. You know, and let's let it grow. Let nature run its course. But doing that, even though that's how God has it set up, as a rule, the nurturing process is what's going to determine how healthy this thing grows up, man. So that nurturing piece is that that's the special sauce, man, that God puts in women and mothers, man. And it's it should be valued extremely high. People of God, and whoever is dealing with uh any type of feeling, you know, that you your parent, your mom, uh, particularly today because it's Mother's Day passed away, or she's convalescing, you know, in situations like that. There's, you know, we just want you to know that uh the father's with you. Holy Spirit is there to comfort you. Uh he's feeling. He he is not an unfeeling father. He knows what you're going through. He's there. Lean on him, draw from him, you know, take advantage of his provisions and his presence being there. And be honest. Let him know how you're feeling and and everything. And also celebrate with other people who have an opportunity to still celebrate their living parent, you know, in this in this earth right now. And that all of that will help you process through those, you know, that grieving part. And and we just want you to know we're praying for y'all. We love you. And um, yeah, we we we got you. We got you.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

All right, brother. Hey, get out of here again.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Yeah, man. Yes, we do. And yeah, happy Mother's Day, everyone. Be blessed, and we love you. GT out. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

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