The Gospel Twins Podcast
A podcast that brings the freedom and truth of God's Kingdom to the masses.
The Gospel Twins Podcast
Friendship Boundaries
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A stack of homemade pancakes turns into a wake-up call, and it opens the door to a bigger conversation about how we handle warning signs in every part of life. We start with blood sugar, fasting, clean eating, and that moment when your body tells you something is off. Then we connect it to spiritual health: if you can get intense and focused to correct a physical issue, why do we avoid that same kind of honest diagnosis when the issue is emotional, relational, or faith-based?
From there, we get into the weighty stuff: friendship, loyalty, and what happens when a friend gets offended and decides to stop speaking to you. We talk Scripture, we talk reality, and we talk emotional intelligence. We break down why “faithful are the wounds of a friend” is not just a nice quote, and why offense can lock people behind bars like a strong city. We also unpack boundaries that protect your heart without turning you bitter, including the idea of “levels” of friendship and how trust is earned over time.
We also go straight at a question that stirs people up: can men and women be friends? We talk trust, insecurity, marriage dynamics, and why controlling someone’s relationships never heals the real issue. And we close with a challenge that reaches beyond friendships with people: do we actually want friendship with God, or do we only want benefits with no surrender?
If this hit home, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What’s a boundary you wish you had set sooner?
Pancakes, Sugar, And Warning Signs
SPEAKER_00We're here and we're ready.
SPEAKER_04Oh man.
SPEAKER_02What's up? Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you're familiar with our humor.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure, man. Come on. We leave with that, man. The joy gotta be full, bro. You gotta have a joy up there. Full cup of that.
SPEAKER_00You man. You you you all got it.
SPEAKER_02Brother.
SPEAKER_00What's that?
SPEAKER_02Man, I've been fasting. Okay. Usually when I feel when I come down with something, I determined. That's the best approach to anything that comes over your body. So I've been, I've been, dude, I've been going crazy over the pancakes and the chips. All the stuff that I've been, all the stuff I've been telling people to, you know, the better options. I've been going in deep, right? And so one day got the tinglies, man. Oh, like, oh, this ain't cool. It was after, it was after a huge stack of pancakes.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. Okay. No, okay, now define that. When you say a huge stack, what's a huge stock to you, man?
SPEAKER_02Usually three, and these pancakes were thick, man. I want to say about a half inch thick, man.
SPEAKER_01Oh, snap. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I use I use bread flour, right? So I use bread flour because I made it from scratch. Yeah. So that that bread flour, man, it makes them really thick. And then you want your batter to be thick. So if your batter's thick, your pancakes gonna be thick.
SPEAKER_00Come on, man.
SPEAKER_02And uh these where the where I needed so much syrup to eat these pancakes. My body was like, what you doing, man?
SPEAKER_01We we said a better option.
SPEAKER_00That don't make you sorry, go ahead, bro.
SPEAKER_02No, like what about moderation, man? Anyway, so I just I I decided to fast and um I got this juice that uh cleansed
Fasting To Reset Blood Sugar
SPEAKER_02out the blood.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02It consists uh it consists of uh cucumber and um beets.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. Do you make it yourself? Yeah, yeah, I made it myself. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So I drink I drink on that, I drank on that for about 28 hours yesterday.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02And then I broke my fast. I broke my fast with some broccoli and some um pinto beans. So I I I went in kind of light. So I felt because I say all that to say when I woke up, I felt better. And so uh these next three months, because I'm gonna get my blood checked, for these next three months, it's gonna be intense, clean eating. Okay. I mean, I mean, very intense. I eat clean before, but now, you know, now when you're dealing with your blood sugar, man, it ain't no joke.
SPEAKER_00So yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna attack that boy, I'm gonna tack him.
SPEAKER_01I know you're gonna lean into it, man. But then what about all of us who still need the better option videos? You still gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_02Oh, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I got I got this peanut butter jelly. Yeah, because that's I mean, okay, all right, nice. Like I said, moderation. I just gotta learn moderation, but I gotta get this blood sugar regulated, get back on the oatmeal. Cause I and the oatmeal is is good for seasons, it's not something you should eat every day. Uh, but um in this case where I'm trying to get my blood regulation, get my A1C lowered, get this oatmeal because that's what it does. Get more into the beach. Okay. Uh more high protein, leafy greens. And um, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yep. That's what's up,
Physical Symptoms As Spiritual Mirror
SPEAKER_01man. You know what, man, and I'm I'm glad you said that, man, because um you you led off explaining some issues, man, that you and that I love the body, I love the way that God has constructed it, man. But because you said you got the tingleys, it's our body will let us know when, you know, okay, we're we're entering into some some issues here, and check yourself, you know, as I skewed say before you wreck yourself. So you know, so I'm glad that you you mentioned that, and then the things that you started doing to regulate it, but then also when you say, okay, I'm gonna start, you know, getting some oatmeal, but this isn't something that you wanna have all the time, but you recognize at a place where you are right now, we need to do that. Bruh, that is so profound because it's the same thing spiritually, man. There are things that we just need to recognize when we're experiencing certain things, issues spiritually, that it's a time to target that in very specific ways. You lean into certain things excessively for just a season, and then you pull back on it. It's like we don't diagnose spiritual problems the way we do physical problems, but it literally works the exact same way, and you recognize you did something that deregulated your blood, you know, sugar issue, and now you're doing some things specifically to go in after the blood situation, and once you get that regulated, you'll you know, you you balance some things out. But the this people I always talk about, man, I want to live my life with balance. Balance is when you got everything going right for you. Then you balance it out. When things are wrong, you don't live life in balance. You have to be excessive. Like you said, I'm gonna attack that boy, you know, this, this, that, and this, and that. You get excessive, almost obsessive, about fixing this issue. And once you fixed it, then you can start bringing, you know, that balance and equal, you know, equalizing everything again. And we don't think about it like that, man. It's just like, even like you said, man, you know, with all of this one, we we're relaunching, man. We we're back after a long hiatus, but that hiatus had to do with attacking some specific things for a period of time, you know, and and deal with it. And now that everything's been equalized, okay, now you can come back and speak properly to the people, you know, and yeah, yeah, and keeping the main thing, the main thing, you know. So I just wanted to hit that, man, because it was just perfect, perfect uh setup. The Aliyuk was there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, thank you. And I also uh you know I had to go to the grown of the throne of grace, bro. First, come on, come on, come on, you father, you already know. I already know what I know what to do, and I just just was out of pocket, went too deep into the to the sweets, the maple syrup and the pancakes.
SPEAKER_01There it is.
unknownI know.
SPEAKER_01I love it. I love it. Going spill doing it like it's supposed to be. Went to the throne of grace, did what? Obtain mercy. Why? My bad.
SPEAKER_04My bad.
SPEAKER_01My bad. You know, you know what I mean. I went in too hard on it. Now find the grace to help in your time of need. What grace do you need, bro? You need to attack that, get that blood sugar back up.
SPEAKER_02And that and also I was praying, like, get these tinglys away. Do you know the tingle the tinglish winny way? I say within an hour.
SPEAKER_03There you go.
SPEAKER_02And I was able to sleep, and I and I woke up like thank you, Lord. Come on, bruh, just follow the program, and then right, and then the Holy Spirit put in my uh put in my memories that last time you had this, you had to do this and that. So it just came right to come on, bruh.
SPEAKER_01See, okay, all right, back the oatmeal, back ain't gotta re I ain't gotta reinvent the wheel, bruh. Right, you know, just I did it, bro. Did it the steps, bro? I did it. The steps they work, bro.
SPEAKER_02They do, and um there was a time when I didn't know, but now I know, but I don't but don't read that that don't give you an open season to do bad things and then by not by no means 100.
SPEAKER_01No, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, because when you know better, you should do better, you know. But at times, but at times we get all of us caught get caught up, man. And you know, that's why those provisions are there, bro. That's that's why mercy exists, you know, you know, you know what I mean? So you can go get, and I love how the word says, you go obtain mercy, stop waiting, Lord. Have mercy on me. And this, no, go, the mercy is already there, you don't even have to ask. Go obtain it, go get it, and and you do that by you know, confessing, saying the same thing that he said, Lord, you know what, that was my bad. I shouldn't have done that, you know. I wasn't doing stuff in moderation. Um, you know, Paul said all things are lawful, but everything ain't expedient. And you know, yeah, I could do it, but should I? You know, you know what I mean. So, but sometimes that stuff gets so good, bro. You just can't let it, you you just can't let it go, man.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, and I I I grew up, my mom used to make me pancakes. I I think I make the best pancakes I've ever eaten.
SPEAKER_01So now I can do it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, now I can do it.
SPEAKER_01Come on, come on, dude.
SPEAKER_02And then every time I was getting uh leaving work early, I was coming home, putting the griddle out, yeah, making that battery.
SPEAKER_01Come on, dude. Because you found something, bruh. You found something gold, you know, and then we and then we just you know, we start getting becoming the happy misers, man, and just want to keep on, you know, just stroking it like man.
SPEAKER_02Hey, you got anything before we hit this topic?
SPEAKER_01Uh no, man. Let's go, let's get right in,
What Real Friendship Requires
SPEAKER_01bro.
SPEAKER_02So the thing about this podcast, we I love this podcast. We come here with our issues, like I just talked about the food, uh, you know, family issues, friends issues, work issues, come here, and you know, we and I usually explain how I navigate it initially, and then we put it under the lens of the kingdom, and then we go back, and then we go forth and you know do the right way. Yeah, yeah. And so one of the things I do here is, you know, we come here, we both we talk about issues during the week or whatever. For sure, for sure. And we try to, you know, put it under the lens of the kingdom. And so uh we had an issue, and I'm gonna um I'm gonna quote the uh the prophets Jaliel Hutchins and uh John Fletcher, friends.
SPEAKER_01Hey, friend, come on, once we can depend on come on, what about you, right?
SPEAKER_02Man, yes, and you and I are blessed, and have you know, friends are just at this age of 55. Yeah, yeah, people that still have friends since childhood, I call them a family.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I consider them friendly, you know.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, you know, the Bible extensively talks, you know, talk about beauty, loyalty, importance, yeah, true friendship, true friendship, yes, describes friends as as essential pillars, man. Yes, and and and that's that's real talk. Yes, it is Proverbs 1717 a friend loves at all times. Come on, is born for it, and adversity, come on, bro.
SPEAKER_01Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_02You know who what Proverbs 1824 who has unlike uh reliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother, than a brother, come on, bruh. And there's many of those like that, absolutely, and and uh and I have some good friends, man. You man, yeah, E West, yes, boy Boo Jay. What up, Boo Jay?
SPEAKER_01Come on, and uh just hearing about him, you know. He's my mask because of you, you know. I met the brother, you did.
SPEAKER_02Oh, he said he when he came here, he thanks for the song, too, bro.
SPEAKER_01No, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Yes, he'll be here in August. He said he wants to meet you.
SPEAKER_01So oh, for sure, man. Yeah, make that happen. Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_02Um, but yeah, I got all these friends, and like, and and I talked to certain people, like, man, I can't believe I can't believe we still have friends for this long. But yeah, and and like we're close.
SPEAKER_01It's a blessing, man. Yeah, man. My me and DB, you know, Dale, uh, you know, Bennett, man, dude, you, you know, of course, and uh, yeah, man. I hope I said D Lan.
SPEAKER_02Hope I said D Lon too.
SPEAKER_01You did say D-Lan, absolutely, you did, yeah. D-Lon, absolutely, man. This, you know, all our day ones, man. And uh, you know, but but the cool part about it, like you said, it it out of the bunch, still being friends, you know, it's saying you got a day one can just mean I just known you that long, but that doesn't necessarily make you a friend. I got a lot of people I knew, you know, from back then, and we're not necessarily what I would call friends. And uh, yeah, to have that, man, that like you said, that is a blessing from the Lord, bro.
SPEAKER_02And so I had come on, I came on here on an episode and talked about a situation of mine, and that friend opposed to it, didn't like it. And since then, um, we're not talking. And and the only thing I do as as a as a brother in Christ, the only thing I could do is is apologize. You know, if I offend you, I apologize. But uh some people, I mean that's the only thing you can do for your part, but the other person, you know, needs to receive or should receive mutual thing, absolutely. But they didn't receive it, and they decided not to even speak to me
When A Friend Stops Speaking
SPEAKER_02again. And um sounds unfortunate because I've known this person since the 90s, man, so it hurts. But but with my relationship with the Holy Spirit and and with the Lord, man, one thing about me, man, the Lord knows the son, right? Yeah, and I I don't, I don't, I don't wanna I don't want to call myself doubting Thomas, but uh when he when the father gives me confirmation, man, he like here, I'm hitting you over the head with it. Right because I know you're a people pleaser, so here now if you go back on this, you're gonna go on, you're going for ruin. Yeah, you're going for ruin. And in this situation with this particular person, uh confirmation three times. Wow, three different sources. Wow, wow, leave it alone, and I'm like, oh I'm I'm like, I'm disappointed. Like, yeah, I love I love I love this person. I want I want I want to see I want this person to succeed. Absolutely, I want this person to come to the kingdom, and that's what I was trying to do. But you know, some people hold on to their religion and and see stuff a certain way, and they're gonna hold on to it, they're gonna fight for it. And we will always have these back and forth, yeah, and or something is uttered, like, well, I guess when it comes to spiritual stuff, we just won't talk about it, yeah. And that's sad to me. I don't I don't want to have a strong relationship where I can't talk about God, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because that that removes the man, that removes your identity out of the equation, because that's who you are, you know. That's just who it comes out, the conversation comes out of that because that's who you are. So, you know, that's like somebody saying, Well, I don't want to talk about Christ or the kingdom no more with you. Well, then we really ain't got a whole lot of conversation there.
SPEAKER_02Like, wow, and that and at our age, I press iron sharpened iron. Absolutely, those are the type of people I have around me now. All the people that like, if I do wrong, call me out.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, like, hey, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, and um, people call me out and all that, and I'm humble enough to take the criticism.
SPEAKER_01You need to, man. I mean, you you quoted a couple scriptures out of Proverbs. Let me, you know, let me give you this one. Proverbs 27, 5 and 6. Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
SPEAKER_02Oh, beautiful, man.
SPEAKER_01Bruh, I mean, literally saying, like, man, you better have people in your life that will get in your grail about some stuff than to be, you know, holding that truth back and just giving you love and good feelings and good vibes when you don't need that. You need rebuke right now. And then those wounds that come from a friend, man, he says they're faithful. That's a good thing. He was like, but kisses from an enemy or somebody, I consider you an enemy, bro. If you see me doing things that are detrimental to me, and you supposed to be my friend, and you don't give me some type of wisdom, warning, alert, alarm, or whatever, bro. What kind of friend were you really? You knew I was heading down a destructive road, and you just kept silent about the thing. Why? Because you didn't want to offend me. That's selfish. It wasn't that you didn't want to offend me, you didn't want to deal with hearing that or whatever, or how it might make you feel of me reacting to that. That's that's not, man. That's not a friend, bro. Friends, friends, you got to anyway. Go ahead, bro.
SPEAKER_00Go ahead. What about your friends? What about them, man?
SPEAKER_01Will they be uh look, look, bro, it matters when people make songs about it, bro.
unknownYou know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01That's that's serious business when you got screw scriptures written by the the wisest man, you know, and bruh. Come on, friends, that that's a serious business.
SPEAKER_02The prophetess, uh Jody Wiley and the prophet Rod Kemp, you know.
SPEAKER_00Come on, come on, you bruh. But for real, you get fried in the end when you pretend to be, bro.
SPEAKER_02That's why I like it.
SPEAKER_01I like how you called him the prophetess of prophet, bro. That's what's up.
SPEAKER_02Uh uh, but yeah, so that hurt, man. It still hurt. So I had a conversation with my boy, and we was talking about it, talking it out, because he was he was coming to me with the warning, man. And um he came to me, he came to me with the confirmation. It was a warning, but it's confirmation after the incident went down when I was like, oh man, hey, I don't want to go down like that. Then we had a conversation, he was like, Man, you might have to you have to leave that person alone. And the Lord told me that don't don't don't even try to encourage you to go back. I was like, whoa.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, man. And I oh bro, I feel bad about that too, man. So I feel bad about that.
SPEAKER_02And so this is a complicated this I'm gonna talk another incident. Uh, I have another friend I've known since the mid-2000s, uh, man, almost 20 years. And female, and uh
Offense Builds Bars Between People
SPEAKER_02she has she she gets into these relationships, right? And and so our relationship now, our friendship now is just it's just social media. And so it's it's not too many people get my humor, my sense of humor, that that frat boy toilet humor, but she does, right? Right, right. So she sends me all these videos, all these memes, and we in our DMs just cracking up. I'm like, ah I'm glad I got an outlet because everybody else thinks I'm just saying for this, right? So and um, so she she was in a relationship before, and boyfriend and he didn't uh approve of our relationship, so she's like, I'm at the I'm at the table of this relationship. Okay, all right. You know, that was then, and you know then she broke up with this person, sent me a Facebook uh uh request friend request, started back up like nothing ever happened. That's how close we are. Bam, bam, we kicking it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And months go by, then she hits the inbox. Well, something I relationship were about I get these boyfriends and they just don't trust me and you. I'm like, I don't know. I said to me it's a red flag, but go ahead, do what you gotta do. Right.
SPEAKER_01And man, so why you keep messing with these insecure dudes?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, and and and yeah, right, exactly. And I and I kinda hinted to that. And so then she come back, she came back the next day, yeah, uh I gotta unfriend you. I was like, wow. Wow. And then she goes and says, Well, if I um if I send you another frame request, just ignore it. That's like you ain't gotta like first. I was like, first I was like, okay, and then I then she then I went back and say, you know what? I'm cool. Don't even send me anything. I'm straight, man. I'm just it because like what kind of friendship is that? Like, what kind of friendship is that to you let a person that you just met, and then on top of that, she told me that he lives out of town. That's crazy. Like he's out of town and he's regulating your life like that from the phone, from behind the keyboard.
SPEAKER_01And y'all's friendship is basically in a dynamic to where y'all just it ain't like y'all kicking and go out and just so it's some social media connection more than anything. Like what concerned about nothing.
SPEAKER_02I hadn't seen you in person in almost 11 years. 11 years I saw her in person. All we do is on Facebook.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02You know, so that it kind of hurt me. But then you know what? I was listening to, I can't remember. It was a sermon or teaching. I like to call it teaching. It was a teacher, I think it was Pastor Todd talking about denouncing. It was either Todd or another uh one of the uh ministers there, but uh yeah, at Transformation Church. But uh it was like, you know, when you when you when you announce stuff, you know, it's people always announcing things, but you have to also you should also denounce stuff too.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02And so I listened to that and I was like, all right.
Denouncing Relationships And Moving On
SPEAKER_02So it was it was some names and I went to the Lord and I spoke out loud and I said it. I I denounced this person, I denounced that person, I denounced this. And and thank you, Lord, because I haven't really been thinking about it. It's until now I talk about it on the podcast because I want to address this issue because people need to, you know, and friends is a is a deep, it's a deep subject.
SPEAKER_01It's it's a huge subject, man, and and it's to be navigated um intelligently, man. Just like any other relationship. But but friends, friends, that's those are covenantal relationships, man. Just like, you know, men and you know, husbands and wives. Um, you know, though those are covenant relationships, man, because it it's something that you enter into. It's not something you're born into, like a family. Yeah, it's you actually choose the people. As they say, you can't choose who you who you're you know, a family you're born into, but you can choose your friends. And when you do that, man, you you are really making a choice based on you know this this covenant connection y'all have, man. And and I and it has to do with a lot of also um a lot of emotional intelligence goes into having friends, bro. Because because you have to really know how to position yourself, you know, within those relationships. Because every friend, it's like it's like love, man. You know, we say love for everything. I love chicken, I love my wife, I love my dogs, my pets, and all that stuff, man. I love going to the beach. We just say love for everything, but then we do know intelligently that we're not equating each one of these things that we say love about on the same level. So we know that. And that's the same thing with friends, man. We can say we got a lot of friends or or not, but you even if you got a few or you got a lot, you really gotta know what what level and what category, man, you're putting those friends in. Because there are friends that I have that are only good for certain things, man. You know, like if you if you're gonna move, like, you know, man, you know, we're getting ready to move here in a couple of couple of weeks, I mean months. I already know there are friends that I have that I won't even call about that. You know what I mean? Because you know what I mean. It's like I'm not upset about that. You know what I mean? I just know they are not the ones I call for a a situation like this. Or if you need a ride or something, you some certain people you know, I won't call them for that, you know. And then there's people that you want to kick it with, you they make you laugh, you really enjoy them. That's the capacity of that relationship. There are friends that I really enjoy that way, you know, and but that's it, you know what I mean? It's just they don't get to have everything about me, you know what I mean, because our relationship isn't even even predicated on that. It's it's on this, you know, it's at this level, and that's what it is, and not that any of those things don't overlap, you know, they can. And this is why we can say, man, this is my close friend, or this is my best friend, or whatever. Why? Because you know you categorize those things, and I didn't say this is a best friend, this is my best friend, don't mean he'll be your best friend, you know what I mean? It's just it's that it's those structures and those things, like we talk about setting those boundaries or those borders or those parameters up, and you gotta be able to do that and you gotta protect that, man. I mean, so let's since we in Proverbs and Solomon, all his wisdom, Proverbs 4, he says, Guard your heart with all diligence, because out of it flows the issues of life. So he's letting you know, man, when he says that, he says, Guard your heart. And then when he's like protect it, and then he says, with all diligence, and that's like placing guards at different points of entry. You know, some people don't deserve, not that they don't deserve, we not that they don't deserve. Let me fix that. Yeah, yeah, they have not earned that access, yeah. You know,
Levels Of Friendship And Guarding Access
SPEAKER_01they haven't earned that access. And it this is a hundred percent, you know, very applicable to friends and people that we had, you know, people like, why don't you talk to me like that? Why, you know, why don't you, you know, ever call me when you have these kind of problems? I'm like, well, you're right, you're not really the person that I would call for that. Why not? I should, but why? Wait a minute, hold on. You tell me about stuff that you didn't heard from your other friends that you know, you're telling me that stuff. So, you know, stuff that should be confidential for them. So you're not holding their stuff. So if if you're not holding theirs, you're already showing me how you move. So, you know, we we ain't I'm not going there with you. And it's okay. I don't, I'm not upset about it. I just know you're not the person for that. And and don't get mad because I don't give you that access, man. And it's it's yeah, you gotta move, you gotta move intelligently when it comes to this friend zone, bro.
SPEAKER_02Is it's real hey when you hey you hey you mentioned the one topic that you really find out who your real true friends are when you move hey dude, bruh, but but but here's the thing, here's the caveat with that too.
SPEAKER_01I know you might like where they be at, where they dude.
SPEAKER_02I I had to depend on tyrants, bro. Yeah, I was like my two people, uh, girlfriend at the time helped me out a little bit, and then my cousin, bless his heart, man. He helped me out, but other than that, man, hey, oh dope, man. You know, I gotta do this, I gotta do that.
SPEAKER_01This oh man, yeah, dude. I would, but you know, yeah, there you go, dude. Especially like right now, dude. I most of my friends, you know, I'm not calling look, bro. I'm not, I'm we mid 50s. I'm I'm not calling my mid my 50s and over friends. Yeah, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_02I got two bad knees, homeboy. Right, right. I'm not where your shoes at, I help you.
SPEAKER_01Bro, I am not gonna be responsible for folk missing work, you know, and all that stuff is that bro, bro. I done threw my back out, you know, and all that stuff, dude. No, I'm not, bro. I already know what's gotta go down for this. I'm getting we're paying folk or grabbing these young folk, you know, to get their people, man. I'm getting my my grandson and his friends, and you know, and all that stuff coming out move some of this stuff and paying people to do it. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00So you yeah, you did, you did put, bro. Putting them to work. The Wyans is funny.
SPEAKER_01The young men just, yeah, bro. For sure, for sure.
SPEAKER_02Well, but uh that goes to John 15 13, the sacrificial love, you know, greater love has no one than this to lay down one's life for one's friends.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, man.
SPEAKER_02Um yeah, you you said it's levels to that because it was situations where you know like you were saying, because I want to speak uh speak on the same thing you spoke about, but you said it a lot better than I would, but about uh about the about the about the levels, man. Because uh, okay, yeah, levels because uh there's a friend I wouldn't give $50 to. But then there's a friend that I, you know, I I remember giving one of my friends a thousand dollars, you know. Yeah, yeah, I trusted that they would give it back and access because they earned that trust.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02But uh the two people I spoke to, I I I would have did any, I would, I would have done anything for them. Um I I really considered them friends. Like a matter of fact, I put I I posted a video with my friends and family, and she was one of the friends was was included in the video, in the montage. In the video, wow, so yeah, and it's like I've known you since the mid 90s, you know my intent. I have no intention to hurt you.
SPEAKER_01Right, I don't have any intention. You have to know my heart, right? Right.
SPEAKER_02I don't want you to be upset with me, and no, I just and I want you to be the best you could be. And um I'm not trying to hurt you or even bring you down.
SPEAKER_01So she said she felt blindsided, maybe because I didn't I think maybe because I didn't want to be like, but the thing is, you didn't even mention no name, bro.
SPEAKER_02And that was when the people heard it like, man, you didn't even mention no name. Like, I know I didn't mention no name. And um maybe it's I don't know. Something they gotta work. That's something they gotta work through, but it is, it is but it's unfortunate that the immaturity of that just because I apologize right off the back, man. And then but I will say this, so I started to get upset because it was it was like kind of a dismissal. Like just give me the just give me the thumbs up, you know, the thumbs up emoji. Right, right. Like, come on, man. Like, we should made it talk this room. Whatever you whatever you whatever you said, thumbs up. I'm like, dang.
SPEAKER_01Right, right, right. Wow. It it's man. It is that that offense, man, is a is a hard boy. I mean, you know, again, you know, you go to you go, your boy, John Solomon, Proverbs, he he says, in Proverbs 18, 19, he says, a brother, that means sister, friend, whatever, offended is harder to be one than a strong city, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. So, man, it's like letting you know what offense comes in, bro. It's like put it's like bars put between you and that person, man. It locks them in and it keeps you out. So it's like offense, bro, is so diabolical, man. And and it's easy to happen, particularly in friendships, because because of our westernized mentality, man, and and the way it's been perceived, is that friends are just people that's just just that like you and you like, you know, y'all don't have no issues, no, no beefs, no problems. That's a friend. You know, if if we don't, if we don't agree and see eye to eye on everything, we're not really friends, you know what I mean? And that's just not the case, man. A friend is a person that y'all can have disagreements. We can't. It's like you said, you know, when she first had her situation, where this the uh, you know, one of them came and my man don't like this and this and that. And you're like, hey, you know, I understood, you know. And then when that relate, when that relationship fell apart, come back to the friend, and but you said, and y'all picked up like nothing had ever happened. That's friends. That that's real. But then when it happens again, you come back with the same stuff. Now, the problem with that is you see, I'm a real one, I'm a friend for real. These relationships you getting into, first of all, they starting out, you see, you with insecure people, and that's a in fact, use that as a red flag, not that you ain't gonna be able to have friends, but that insecurity is gonna spill over and shine forth in a whole lot of other areas, absolutely. So that's one thing. So you that's like you say, a red flag. I don't need this, you know, especially if you already went through this once and you saw that relationship dissolve, but you were still there, yeah. You know, then like, okay, but when I if somebody comes in telling me to renounce my friend, then that's yeah, I'm already done with that relationship. Yeah, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Like, who are you? You know what I'm saying? Like, who are you? My life is already established, and it's these are the people in my life, and you're gonna say I don't like them, you're gonna separate that right there.
SPEAKER_01Man, I look look, these people are part of the reason that I'm the person I am, and you like me, so you want me to take out of my life part of what made me the person you want to be with. That's that's crazy, man. But that insecure piece, bro, it is so funny, and God ordained.
Moving, Money, And Sacrificial Friends
SPEAKER_01I didn't, I just thought about it just now. You know, literally, me and my daughter, man, just had this real this um conversation yesterday morning, and and I had no clue that we was gonna talk about bro.
SPEAKER_02Confirmation, bro. I keep telling, I keep telling people, even the person that was that's like they didn't want to be my friend anymore. Yeah, oh I said that that podcast was real, stuff that we go through, that stuff is real. That's confirmation.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, it's confirmation, bro. Bro, I just even thought about it just now. Literally had a conversation with my daughter. She said that I remember when you used to say that you that you said that women and men couldn't be friends. She was using that to validate somebody that she was talking to, you know, about because that person has female friends. So I said, Oh, well, I know I used to say that. I said, I don't believe that anymore. You know, she's like, wait a minute, will you? I'm like, because I've matured, you know, that was a kind that was an adoption uh of wisdom that I just took from being passed down that men and women couldn't be friends, you know, because it's always a potential for something, you know, that was shaped by shaped by, you know, bringing the paint, you know, Chris Rock when he said a one, that's just, you know, under glass, you know, a dude that can't be friends, you know, he just waiting any situation, they can wind up hooking up or whatever. I was like, I allowed culture to shape that mentality. But now that I'm, you know, I'm in the kingdom, you know, I've the truth have made me free. I was like, I don't think I've evolved, you know, in my understanding of a lot of stuff. So I said 100% men and women can be friends. And and then she, you know, then she started giving me all these these scenarios on how, like, well, I don't agree with that. And okay, well, let's say you had the friends and they was already in your life for years and all that, then you got to start asking, were you ever attracted to any of them? Did y'all ever used to have a relationship and all this stuff to determine if the friendship can still, you know, be friends? If y'all ever had any relationship beyond that, y'all should not still be friends, you know, and all of that. So we was going back and forth about this, man. And ultimately, I said, listen, people, if they tell you that they just friends, then just leave it at that. You you're going to determine your friendship going forward or relationship or whatever it is going forward based off of the idea. Can men and women be friends? Can I trust that? And this and I was like, since when trust everybody until they give you a reason not to. That's it. I don't, I ain't gonna sit here wasting energy, bro, on like, I wonder, can I trust that? Bro, if you tell me I can trust you, I'm gonna trust you. But guess what? If you violate that trust, don't look crazy when when I put that boundary up, you know, and it and it's that I mean, come on, just don't look crazy. You broke the trust. Can it be earned back? Sure, but that's a determination between those two people. If that do are they gonna give you that space to earn it back, that's totally up to them. But you cannot build foundations on previous information, man, when a person tells you that this is what it is. This is what it is. No, God doesn't even do that, man. He don't sit. This is the person that can knows everything from the beginning to the end. If you tell him, Lord, I'm I'm with you. He don't sit there and wonder, like, I wonder if they really gonna can I trust them, you know, or whatever. He don't. He just he gives you all of who he is, man, the up the access to who he is, and you set those determinations on the look the Lord is gonna be like, okay, well, you can't access this, you can't access that, but you're doing that because of who the type of person you are. You you're showing me the level of access I'm gonna give you because you're not when I say that this is what this needs to be done, and you say, Well, I ain't doing that, okay. With well, then that door is closed to you. You know, well, this I want to do this, this, this. No, I ain't doing that. Okay, that door is closed to you. You know, let's go ahead and do that. Oh, yeah, I'm down with that. Oh, okay. Well, this is that that's that's our relationship right there. This delay for our relationship. You know, can it open up? Can it begin to overlap? 100%, but that takes investment and time, and you have to show me, bro. Let me okay, let me ask that okay. You meant Rakim new to the family. Rakim is your your your new your new pet, bro. Did did Rakim come in having all the access? That your other dog. I mean, you the at Rakim
Men And Women Friends Plus Insecurity
SPEAKER_01gonna, he's gonna let you know what access you're gonna give him by his behaviors, by the things he do. You know what I mean? Can I let him go in a room and he ain't gonna tear it up? We'll see. I'll let him in the room. He tore it up, can't go in that room no more. You know, this what do you do? I'm closing that door to you. You're not getting access to that, but you but he's still your dog. He didn't change, you didn't change the love you got for him. You just showing me how I can interact with it.
SPEAKER_02Hey, what if that what if that room is is spirituality though?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, that's that's that's serious.
SPEAKER_02That's what a girl, like we I guess we can't talk like that. I'm like, dang, man.
SPEAKER_01That's that's serious business, especially if especially if the spirituality room is a huge room for me. And if you say that you and and that was like, let's say a lion's share of what our relationship was like jailed in, and you closing that access, then what you've done is you have placed, you've shown me that that room is closed, and the sad part about it is we haven't really developed a whole lot of other spaces. So you didn't already show me what I need to do. We need we need to, I'm I'm pulling back because you shut you you shut that door. You did that.
SPEAKER_02And also, like we're talking about the boundaries. And also, you should. I got married, right? As you know, my mom my mom had a lot of female friends. So I was raised a lot, I was raised around a lot of women.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Tons of women. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02Right. Roger, Roger. So I'm just comfortable around a lot of women. So because I because of my upbringing, I have a lot of female friends. You know, eat some of them that's was straight platonic from the get-go. Some were relationships that turn into friendship.
SPEAKER_01And I gotta let my daughter make sure she hit his podcast. And so I had all these. You speaking straight.
SPEAKER_02And so when I got married, I had to sift, I had to sift through all of that, right? Because I know my wife had a she had she was insecure and some stuff. So there were women that was in my life that I felt maybe they probably would disrespect my wife. I let them go, cut them off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But then there's one that would respect that I was married, and so I kept them. And so the ones that I kept, my wife still was had an issue with that. And I'm like, I'm sorry about that. I'm not changed, I'm not these people have been in my life way longer than you have. And I mean, no disrespect. You're my wife.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02But I'm not gonna cut these established relationships that I have for decades.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02And I mean, have a history. And um, and when we have these rooms that we go in that that's cool, and they're platonic, and they're you know and they're innocent. So it's like I'm not gonna let you dictate that because of your insecurity. I'm not gonna do that. So I had to put a boundary up, and my mom, my mom had to talk to my wife, and my wife, my mom told my wife, like, Sean, you know, my son got a lot of female friends, so you're gonna have to reconcile that somehow. And and she did, eventually she did, but you know, yeah, but I was gonna let her insecurity dictate my relationships.
SPEAKER_01But see, then that that goes to that to that open rebuke is better than secret love. Let's deal with what the real issue is. This is the real issue, isn't that the fact that I have female friends, the real issue is your insecurity, and that's what we need to deal with. We don't deal with your insecurity by taking the the the female friends out of my life. That doesn't heal you or help you. You you're still insecure. It's just like a per it's it's just like the the dude that's like, I never cheat on my wife. Well, bro, you've never been in a situation to do that, you know what I mean? You ain't had no honeys to step to you, you ain't had you know, you ain't been in a situation where you could do that, you know what I mean? So you could eat it's easily for an ugly man to say he'd never cheat on his wife. You know what I mean? And of course I'm using that very tongue-in-cheek and as a metaphor because beauty's an eye of the beholder, who you might think is ugly, some might think it's fine. So I'm just saying, if ain't no, if you're never put in a situation, then you can't say that definitively because you haven't ever had to deal with it. But a person that already has reconciled us, like, I wouldn't cheat on my wife. Not not because, and and and I'm not afraid to be out in public with women. I'm not afraid to talk to a woman because my mind will go there and do all of that, then that's a totally different scenario. You know what I mean? This per I I've established these boundaries, these truths, these standards in my own life. So don't, I can't speak for them. You know, you want to know have I ever had a relationship with them? Do is there any of them attracted to me or whatever? They could be. They could be. I don't know. But if if they ever approach me that way, I'm gonna deal with that. I don't removing them out of the scenario, you know, just to make you feel better. It's just like a person that your drug drug, people like, well, you know, drug addicts shouldn't go to this and that and this and that. I can't remove all of the drugs of the world out of the out of the equation, bro. We got to deal with your addiction at some point, you know, because if you really gonna go at it, if you really gonna get it, it's gonna be there to be got. Because drugs exist. I can't remove them. So we need to deal with the issue. The problem ain't my friends, the problem is your insecure. So, and you gotta be willing to do that, man. I gotta quit one. I gotta quit.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01One of my day ones, my boy DB. And he and I can tell this story because he has said this publicly. So I don't I don't feel like I'm I'm putting him on blast by not asking to tell it. But man, it was you know, we grew up, bro, we ran them screets together. I mean, you know, we were inseparable. We was them boys for real. And um, and people knew that, bro. You know, we had, you know, our our whips was all you know pimped out and had the sounds and though. We rode around, cruised around together, back and back, just flossing together. We had this life, man. And um when I wound up coming, you know, into you know, to the faith, man, when I came in to the kingdom for real, for real. You know, we that history was there. And I literally, man, I had the pulley one day, inviting him over to the crib, you know, and I was married and everything. And I was like, bro, um, we man, we gonna not did, bro. Our friendship is is over by any means, man. You're my boy. I love you, and we're gonna always be down. But I can't keep rocking with you like this because I've made this decision in my life, I'm living this way, you still out there. You know what I mean? And we can't be, you know, right now we not even on the same page anymore. So as tight as we used to rock together, we can't keep doing that. And, you know, I'm sorry, man. And of course, he wasn't happy about that. He was upset, he had some choice words for me, but I understood that. I knew that because look at what I was doing, bro. I was I was doing this surgery on our relationship because of a decision I've made, you know, and and but I had to be true to that decision, and that was it,
Marriage Boundaries Without Control
SPEAKER_01bro. He wound up, man, you know, ultimately, he came into the kingdom, you know, and and we had come back together and we had that conversation, man, to re-establish it. And he was like, bro, I thank you for telling me that. I thank you for pulling me in and being, you know, forthright with me about this, about how you was feeling and and putting that, you know, that separation between us because, man, it, you know, those decisions help lead him to do what, you know, to take a look at his own life, man, and what, you know, what he needs to do. He didn't do it to be back friends with me. He did it because he saw that was a decision he needed to make for himself, and and through that, we were able to reforge our relationship and it came back and it was stronger and better than ours. So, man, I just you know, we we gotta be willing to have those hard moments and navigate these things with with truth and emotional intelligence. How about thank you for that story?
SPEAKER_02Uh, what about those um situations where God closing a door and telling you uh that's not your friend? That was the season for that friendship. Now you gotta you move it forward. Like, what about that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right. Yeah, and and and man, there, there are doors, man, that as you know the Lord says in his word, there's doors that he shut that you know can't be opened, but then there's doors that he opens that you can't shut. So, you know, that's just an obedient thing, man. Just because he told you to shut the door now, he ain't telling you that person is cut off from you. If that person came back to you today and said, I'm sorry for that, I shouldn't, you know, I was just bro, I already know you. You you'd open that door right back up, you know, and and if the Lord said other, you know, otherwise, you are man enough to say, you know, I, you know, I I forgive you, there ain't no hard feelings, but you know, I feel like, you know, just for whatever reason, the Lord won't, you know, don't acknowledge me to step back into this right now. And but I know you enough to where you that kind of dude that'll say that. You know, you'd open the door, fling it wide open if you could.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I honestly be totally totally honest, I want to, but um, you know, you have a long relationship, and this is a pattern where you you cool, then you're not cool, you're cool, you're not cool. It's just a pattern.
SPEAKER_01So I now it's like it was that inconsistency and confusion. The Lord ain't the author of that.
SPEAKER_02He's he's leading me out of that relationship.
SPEAKER_01Also, but then he can close that door because he's dealing with her. Yeah, yeah. Like, okay, let me you step out the way. I'm you know, and and now I'm and I because I know that for a fact that that's what's happening.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because even like uh relationship that you know of, when God put it on my heart to podcast, I didn't, you know, one thing I learned, you know, what did I know now I didn't know then is that you know everybody have their own purpose.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02And because it's my purpose, you that don't mean that's somebody else's purpose. And and I might want to, I might have a clean heart and and genuinely want this person to be with me, to ride with me with my purpose, but that's not their purpose. And so if they don't comply or act like that's not their purpose, like what did I expect? And so that was a situation where I had this purpose with this podcast, and I was supposed to pub it up at a place at an alumni picnic, and we were supposed to do it together, and you didn't show up, and this was a pattern that was displayed in the past, and I just was turned off and I was like, I I'm not gonna do this again. I like I have you know this is a responsibility that I asked for you, and you just you tabled it, and you chose to do something else. So, well,
Purpose, Seasons, And Closed Doors
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna have to I'm gonna choose to stick with my purpose and um I guess I'm gonna have to leave you behind. And that's where that relationship was left just at that point, and I never went back. I kind of we had conversations and thought about uh thought about bringing them back on there, but it just didn't work out. So I just I just left it be.
SPEAKER_01And you and and the thing is, man, you you leave it and you gotta be alright with it, and you make sure that there's no offense in you about the situation. You know what I mean? That that's where you have to that everything is a hard issue. You know, you have to all check yourself, am I good? Am I doing this because I'm offended? And and don't get me wrong, man, when people are in a in a pattern of letting, you know, you down, then come on, man. I mean, just just from a just from a natural standpoint, man, you ain't gonna just keep putting your if a dog keeps biting and you know, but biting at me, bro, at some point I'm gonna stop putting my hand towards his mouth. You know what I mean? I'm I'm get the get the hint, bro. You know, so don't put yourself in that situation. But when a person comes with, and and they show, like, man, if I go on and say, well, man, I'm gonna go on and do this, and that person, because man, same thing as you said, you know my situation, same thing with me. When people tell when I told people I was going on social, man, talking to people behind the scenes and all this, hey, man, I'm gonna rock with you, bro. Oh man, I'm gonna rock with you. It's so many people need to hear the stuff that you got to say, bro. When I went on crickets, crickets, I didn't even hear from people, you know. It just did not what people said. But here's the thing I was like, okay, so they didn't, man. It was, you know, something that they didn't want to get behind and and everything, man. But I'm I'm good. And but I didn't continue to call on people. Oh, yeah you know, like, hey y'all, you come in, man. I'm doing this. You're gonna you gonna come in, bro? People told me, man, when y'all started that podcast, I mean, bro, did you subscribe to the podcast? You know, or they'll call and ask me some stuff, particularly. I'd be like, Do you know we actually just had a podcast? Oh you know, you know, just you know, I'll be like, You wanna hear I'll send it to you, you know. But they they want to continue to get access to me on their terms, and and you get to a point, man, when you be like, no, I'm I'm not giving you that. You know what I mean? You you because that is actually a support for me. And I'm not gonna, this relationship ain't gonna be all one-sided, man. It's like, you know, literally, man, me and my wife, me and wifey was talking today, because it was a reel we was looking at that this guy was talking about giving you, you know, man, you people take Jesus' life, but they don't want to give Jesus their life. You know, they, you know, they want to take all the benefits of having him, but they don't give him the benefit of him having them. And we talked about, you know, Matthew 7, when people say, Lord, you know, we, Lord, Lord, we did this in your name, we did that in your name, we did many mighty works in your name. And he said, But depart from me, because I never knew you. You I gave you all access to me, and you were able to do all those things based off of my character and my authority, but you never gave yourself to me, and I don't know you like that. So you know me, but I don't know you, and so what did he say? Depart from me, man, depart from me.
SPEAKER_02You know, the box church weaponized that scripture, man, and like use it, and the fact, bro. The fact that you brought that up is that was one of the scriptures old girls sent me, and then we was going back and forth talking about the kingdom. I'm like, I got a relationship with God. That what you saying, that doesn't apply to me, right?
SPEAKER_01It's not applicable here, right? I'm like, man, right, but but look at the boundary Jesus set up, though. You know, you you did all those benefits in my name because of all you knew and accessed about me, but I didn't you didn't give me no access to you, and and so he said, and because of that, depart from me. You know, I never knew you, I never got to know you. So it was a one-sided relationship, and for a long time you benefited from it, you prophesied, you cast out devils, and you did a bunch of mighty wonderful works. Great for you. What did I get out of the relationship? Not much, and so because of that, and because of the one-sidedness, have fun with what you was able to benefit from, but now the boundary is up, depart from me, and told them why because I never knew you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what about that scripture when John was talking to Jesus? Like, uh, I saw somebody, we saw somebody catching the thing. He was like, let them, man, like let them do it.
SPEAKER_01Because they don't we shut them down because they don't follow us, you know.
SPEAKER_02Like if they use my name, how can they talk bad about me?
SPEAKER_01Right, they can't talk bad about me, man. That's a good thing, right? Absolutely, absolutely. You man, Jesus is just that dude, man. He's just that dude. You know, but but at the same time, man, you know, he could have been one of those dudes in Matthew 7. Yeah, at some point, you you gonna that relationship is gonna have to be reciprocated at some point, man. You know, Jesus said, You call me Lord, Lord, but then you don't do the things that I say. You know, it it if somebody says, Well, what about this? and y'all having these spiritual conversations and having these intense things that y'all can discuss, when you're put given wisdom that violates a person's tradition and the offense at end, you know, that's you're showing right now that the problem don't lie, it's not lying with me. We can keep this conversation going, but I've now done something or said something that has offended you, and now the bars then came up between you and me, you know, and we can't have this conversation no more. See, with then how valuable was our friendship to you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm supposed to work through everything, man. I'm willing to work.
SPEAKER_01Bro, that's what friends do, man. Absolutely. Bruh, you when we was when we was online, man, because I tell you all the time, you ain't, you're not, you know, you're not ignorant of this fact that you the person that rocked with me most of the time when I post something when I was posting stuff on social. And you know, and you and me and you, we could they call we call gospel twins for a reason, man, because we had like the same perception as it pertains to the kingdom and and everything like that. And so I put up something one day that was just totally out of pocket. You know, I went too far with it. It wouldn't not that it wasn't true, but you was like, okay, bruh, I can't even, I can't even support that, man. You know, that bro, you was way out of pocket on that. Now you're getting over into the into offending people. Now that was just kind of offensive. Bro, I went in there, took it down. I took it down. I could have easily been like, bruh, you man, is it true? You know, is it I could have I could have tried to just, you know, just stick with my my guns, bro. But a relationship is you you sat here and been mentored by me. I can't be mentored by you. You know, that's the bro. No, I went and shut it down.
SPEAKER_02You know what? I thought, yeah, we have a lot of stories, but I thought you were gonna bring up and and uh I brought this up. I don't know if I brought it up to this person, but I I did talk about it recently. But when when we first reconnected online and I was and I was searching for the kingdom, you was putting uh you was putting information out there that I didn't agree with. Well, I was like, oh man, what's up with this? Yeah, but I just did I just get offended or disagree with it and then less like that. I I wouldn't let me listen, see what he talk about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let me
One-Sided Relationships And Mutual Access
SPEAKER_01do some investigating.
SPEAKER_02I listened to you and I wouldn't search the search descriptures and I search information and see if it lined up, and and it was right there in my face, like, oh man, okay. And then you would say something else, like man, man, no, that's not how I was talking. Right, I was talking that way, looked it up.
SPEAKER_01Oh right, looking at the bunk it, man.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, which is good, which is I was hoping this person would do the same.
SPEAKER_01So if I say something, see if it lines up, see it lines up, and then you know, right, you know, immediately just uh I'm just going into my traditional retreat, man, and and yeah, and you letting your tradition speak for you, and you're not willing, yeah, bro.
SPEAKER_02Yes, at least ask me or or look it up and see if it lines up absolutely you just to the point where and the uh the feedback I was getting, I was like, you must think I'm a apostate, and she said, Yeah, like wow, so uh yeah, but I'm like you in a pastate, but you you in a state of a past, but I was like, on when people that I care for have relationships, you know, come to me and say some stuff, I'd like to see if it you know if it lines up or if it's true, and if it is, you know, let's shake hands, you know. But absolutely the fact that you didn't even give me that at all, you was like just gonna just whether just stop talking to me because of it, and not even trying to see if it lines up that that hurt, man. So, but I'm gonna move on and and keep it moving, and I'm gonna pray the best for you know, press the best in that person's life, and I pray that that person comes to the kingdom, the knowledge and the wisdom of the kingdom, the knowledge of it, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes, man, and bro, and I pray this. I pray that that person hears this podcast and and and uh and uh and the heart be touched by your heart, man, because I already I know how you feel about this person, and I know the genuineness, man, that you that you carry, and I saw the weight it was putting on you, you know, because of the response. So, I mean, bro, that and that is a characteristic of somebody that really loves, really holds somebody to be dear and true. And that is literally why the Lord would say, a person was like, Well, that Lord tell them to close the door on a friend. How are they gonna know the truth? Well, they're rejecting it right now. And because of the fact that that truth is being rejected, and you were carrying the weight of that, you know, because of how much you want, like you said, to come into the knowledge of the kingdom for that liberty. Because you see the entrapment of the tradition that that person is still in. Bro, no wonder the Lord, like, look, you ain't supposed to let your health get at risk over this. You know, I mean, this is the same, this is the same Lord that inspired the scripture to be writing that you shouldn't co-sign for people because you don't take on nobody else's debt. If I ain't supposed to take on your financial debt, I absolutely ain't supposed to be taking on your spiritual debt and issues. Christ did that, you know, you know, and Christ did that, bro. And you saw what it did to him. And the Lord was like, he was like, So, no, no, you ain't supposed to carry that. And I see you are way too wrapped in. You need to, you know, put the boundaries up and shut that down.
SPEAKER_02And also, you know, I was talking to my boy, he was like, Man, that's and I was telling the gist of it and went in the backstory. He's like, Man, that's bro, that's too, that's kind of too deep for her, man. He was like, because I started going to some theology, he was like, he was like, Man, I said, Yeah, you're right. She don't have the ears, she don't have the ears to hear right now. And so I'm like forcing a um square peg and around and around space. So I gotta chill out. But then that's when I talked about it. I was and I humbled myself and said what I was wrong in that situation, that exchange that she and I I admitted my wrong, and I looked at her a certain way. I was trying to force something, and I'm like, oh my bad. And I know that because I don't I don't I don't want her to be led astray, so I'm just wanting to give her the right information and so anyway, man. But yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's a heavy topic, man. Friend, because but friends matter, they're very serious, and I and they and they have such a weight in our lives, man. But and we definitely gotta navigate them, you know, uh with some a high level of discernment, man. And and sometimes there's seasons come when we have to sh shut certain ones down.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you're talking about friends. You got you have friends that's blood, that's not blood, becomes family. And then you have some you have some close relatives that's family that's so close that you call friends, ain't that dynamic?
SPEAKER_01It is that's a heavy dynamic.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because I got family members like that's also my friends, you're not just relatives, but friends.
SPEAKER_01100%, man. 100%. Wifey, bro. I mean, that this is the man, that you're talking about uh a friend, bro. Me and wifey, our friendship is so, you know, is so heavy that the the marital covenant of it, you know, it it overlaps to the point where, you know, I should be, I should be able to deal with with her in the friend zone, and it should not affect the marital aspect because they are two covenantal different relationships. But it's hard to navigate that, bro. So you would be mad at me as the friend and diss me as the husband, you know, you know, and bro, this this thing is this is some heavy stuff. This is why Jesus Jesus wasn't friends with all his people. This is why it's distinctions in scripture that there were people that were friends of God. Why? Because God ain't friends with everybody. That's okay. You know, God's like, look, I love you now. Don't get me wrong, and and you can rock with me and you and my kingdom, but you ain't people. I don't know why I can't hear from God like that. Because y'all ain't friends. You don't even, you don't even, you don't even do the the basic things that he's saying to do. You know, you you have received him, you know, all of the the things he did, but you don't have intimate conversations with him because he'll tell you stuff that you don't want to hear, or or you'll reserve the fact that you can't really hear him like that. Despite you got people all around you that say they hear from him all the time. Come on, you know, stop, stop. You you don't want to hear from him like that because you love what you're doing, and Jesus gave us parameters. He said, Look, I didn't even come here to condemn the world, I came here to say the whole world. He said, But some so some people are condemned though because they love the darkness and they won't come into the light. He is light, bro. So if you love darkness, you love it, you ain't gonna rock with him like that, man. You know, you just not. So, how you expect to hear from him when you absolutely ain't gonna do nothing that he's gonna tell you to do. Stop, man. This is not, we ain't doing that, bro. We ain't doing that. Anyway, that was just that was a bonus bar right there. That was a bonus bar. So, people, if you want to hear from God, just uh acknowledge say tell him, Lord, I want to be your friend, and he'll and he and he'll test that.
Being God’s Friend And Final Challenge
SPEAKER_01No, I'm sorry, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02No, no, whenever you're ready, because I was about to close with something, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, let's yeah, okay. Let me just shoot this real quick, man. And and this ain't got and this ain't me elevating me at all. This ain't giving me no juice or whatever, but it's just the fact that when the Lord says something, man, I'm I'm gonna listen to him and I'm gonna tell him he's right, and I'm gonna believe he right, even if I gotta struggle with what he said. So I'd never forget, man, that I was in prayer one day. And uh the the Holy Spirit, man, we was kicking it. He was like, you know what? He was like, you know why I like you, man. You know, and that that shocked me to hear that, you know, to like you okay with don't you like everybody? You know, he said, you know why I like you, man? Because I can be myself around you, and he bro, that is such a heavy thing because you think like God not being self, man, it's it's parts of God that he has to withhold from people because they don't want to know him like that, they don't want to know that part of him, man. They don't want to know some of those deep, intricate things about the Lord. But it says the the Spirit of the Lord searches the deep things of God, and it says, and he he longs for the deep, cries out for the deep. And the Lord wants to have deep conversations with people, man. But a lot of people don't like him like that, so he's like, and that's a reciprocated relationship. Jesus said, I love you because that is the reason. That is a whole different love. That's not the agape love that he has for everybody. That's the Phileo, the friend, the brother, Phileo, Philadelphia, the the city of brotherly love. That's friendship like that, man. So, you know, people need to, you know, ask yourself, dude. Do I even like God like that? You know, and and be honest about it.
SPEAKER_02That's some good stuff right there, man. Some good stuff. But uh, let me see. Um yeah, I wanted to quote the prophet Edmund Young. Yeah, if you want to be love right, then you gotta love right. All the way, all the way. Love peace of better days.
SPEAKER_01Come on, bro.
SPEAKER_02If you want to be done right, then you gotta do right every day, every day.
SPEAKER_01Every day.
SPEAKER_02And he said also we gotta build this when we pray.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, bars, bro. Bars, bro. I love that. Wow. That is heavy, man. I love that. I love that, bro. Shouts out, shouts out. All right, people of God.
Like, Subscribe, Share And Close
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