
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
Kia ora, Hello! I’m Ruth Vercoe, a teacher-turned-mum, here on a mission to demystify Child’s Play through understanding play schemas.
If you’ve ever found yourself asking, 'Why is my child doing that?'—whether it’s throwing their soft toys, hiding stones around the house, or lining up their crayons —then you’re in the right place, and certainly not alone.
Here, we’ll explore the magic of play through the lens of play schemas—those hidden repeated patterns in your child’s behaviour that hold the key to unlocking more meaningful play and connection.
Join me each week as we dive into playful insights that will help you bring more joy, connection and understanding into your parenting journey.
Get in contact at
Email Ruth@Playschemas.com
Facebook and Instagram @Play_Schemas
Demystifying Child's Play | Play Schemas
037 Sibling Conflict & Play Schemas: A Guide for Parents of Toddlers
Is your home filled with cries of “Muuuum, he took my toy!” or “She wrecked it again!”?
If so, you’re definitely not alone and you’re absolutely in the right place.
In this episode of Demystifying Child’s Play Through Play Schemas, we’re diving deep into a topic every parent of more than one young child knows all too well: sibling conflict. But instead of seeing these daily dust-ups as something to avoid or “fix,” we’re reframing them as one of the most powerful learning tools in your child’s development.
Here’s what most parenting books don’t tell you:
Those toy squabbles, turn-taking tussles, and boundary battles between siblings aren’t signs that you’re failing as a parent... they’re signs of growth in action.
And when you understand the hidden force behind many of these clashes... play schemas... everything starts to make a whole lot more sense.
In this episode, we’ll unpack:
- What play schemas are (like trajectory, positioning, transformation)
- Why sibling conflict often happens when children’s schemas are clashing
- How these repeated play urges are actually healthy and developmentally appropriate
- How you can recognise the why behind behaviours, not just the what
- Why these everyday moments help build empathy, boundaries, and emotional intelligence
You’ll also walk away with 7 practical tools you can use today:
- How to pause and observe without immediately stepping in
- What to say when your kids both want the same toy, without taking sides
- How to narrate neutrally and coach instead of control
- Why naming emotions helps both children feel seen and heard
- Modelling “I” statements for calmer communication
- Creating a calm-down space that actually works (and isn’t a punishment)
- The power of reflecting after conflict for deeper learning
Whether your little ones are 1 or 5, this episode is packed with real-life insight and practical strategies to help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting siblings, through a lens of connection, not correction.
We know you’re busy, probably listening while folding washing or wrangling nap time, so we’ve made this episode warm, supportive, and straight to the point. You’ll finish feeling empowered, not overwhelmed.
You’re not raising “naughty” children. You’re raising learners. Explorers. Humans-in-training. And conflict , especially between siblings, is one of the richest (albeit noisiest!) classrooms they’ll ever have.
So next time you hear “Muuum, he hit me
If you’ve ever wished you had a group of parents who just get it — welcome to The Play Schemas Collective. It’s where you can ask questions without judgement, share those little wins only another parent would understand, and dive deeper into your child’s play with people who speak your language. Join us at playschemas.com/collective — we can’t wait to meet you.
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!
I would love to hear your playtime stories—whether you’re celebrating a win or trying to crack the mystery behind a new behaviour, I’m here for it. Reach out on social media or drop me a message.
Facebook and Instagram @play_schemas
Ruth@PlaySchemas.com
www.playschemas.com
and if you are keen for a freebie... head to playschemas.com/free to see what there is for you!