Throwing Kindness like Confetti: Myka Meier Artwork

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She What? invites you to join two friends and dig into the personal and often surprising stories of women who inspire them. And here, she tells the whole story. The failing. The thriving. The friends she made along the way. The pain she endured. The triumphs she celebrated. How she reinvented herself. Need a dose of inspiration? It’s here. Need a fresh perspective? We got that, too.

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She What?

Throwing Kindness like Confetti: Myka Meier

June 03, 2026 • Jessica Downey & Maureen Petrosky • Season 2 • Episode 11

0:00 | 39:26

What if etiquette has nothing to do with being “ladylike” and everything to do with kindness? In this episode of She What?, etiquette expert and Bravo's Ladies of London star Myka Meier challenges what we think we know about manners and human interaction. Spoiler alert: Jess, who starts off skeptical, will now be arriving at every event at 6:05. She What?!

Learn more about Beaumont Etiquette and discover Myka's Mini Manners series. You can also follow Myka on Instagram.

For more, visit She What? on Instagram.

Brought to you by Capital Health

Credits:

Producer and Host: Jess Downey

Producer and Host: Maureen Petrosky

Producer and Editor: Leigh Iacobucci

Artwork: Peter Yates Design

Know someone with a great She What? story?

Tell us about her!

Myka Meier (00:02):

You know, if I have an opportunity to teach people even 1% of the Bravo audience about this beautiful world of etiquette and kindness, then why not?

Jess (00:20):

I am Jess Downey. You might know me as Editor-in-Chief of Real Woman and Thriving Magazines for Capital Health. And

Maureen (00:26):

I'm Maureen Petrosky. You might have seen me on the Today Show or CBS mornings as an entertaining expert or know some of my books like Wine Club and Zero Proof Drinks,

Jess (00:35):

And we're two friends who created She What?

Maureen (00:38):

<laugh> a podcast that digs into the personal and often surprising stories of women who inspire us

Jess (00:44):

And they get real about the wins, the fails and everything in between.

Maureen (00:50):

Here we invite her to tell the whole story, the pain she endured, the triumph she celebrated, the friend she made along the way, and maybe even how she reinvented herself.

Jess (01:01):

These are the kinds of stories that make us think. They make us laugh, they keep us going.

Maureen (01:06):

Need a dose of inspiration. It's here. Need a fresh perspective. We got that too.

Jess (01:18):

Hi Maureen.

Maureen (01:19):

Hey Jess.

Jess (01:21):

We have a bunch of really fun She What? firsts on this episode.

Maureen (01:26):

Yes, today's guest is the first to join us from London. She's our very first reality TV star and it's the first time I watched you change your mind in real time.

Jess (01:38):

What?! <Laugh> <laugh>. We interview Myka Meier, author etiquette expert and the creator of the famous Plaza Hotels Etiquette Program. And now her latest venture “Mini Manners” on YouTube.

Maureen (01:50):

And don't forget, she's also a Bravo-liberty. She just wrapped season two of Ladies of London for all you reality TV fans out there today. She taught us so much, I think, throughout this episode. She really surprised you.

Jess (02:05):

She did. I've said many times on this show that I grew up a total tomboy and when I think of the word etiquette, I think of all the ways my little tree climbing skinned-knee self was told she was being unladylike. And so maybe I went into this conversation with Myka with some preconceived notions. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. But she totally disarmed me and I did, I learned so much.

Maureen (02:28):

Yeah, she throws that word “ladylike” right out the door.

Jess (02:31):

Bye! Which I loved. She brought such contemporary thinking to the word etiquette and she reminded us that it can be as simple as a man doesn't need to hold a door for a woman, but maybe we hold a door for someone out of kindness. It's human etiquette and I can totally relate to that.

Maureen (02:48):

Yeah, I loved seeing you change your mind in real time. And listeners, yours may too. So stick around.

Jess (02:57):

Myka Meier, welcome to She What?

Myka Meier (03:01):

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here.

Maureen (03:04):

Myka is an etiquette coach and author. She's the founder of Beaumont Etiquette and co-founder of the Plaza Hotels Finishing Program and most recently the creator of “Mini Manners”. Now Myka, we met on the Today Show I think like a decade ago, and I was already wearing a fascinator, I think, and talking about what to serve, I think it might've been the Royal Wedding Party. And I remember, I think it was your first time on the Today Show and you were just joyful and beaming and we connect it right away. Obviously I'm wearing a fascinator. You were probably wearing a fascinator. Now on the other hand, Jess.

Jess (03:39):

Okay, what's a fascinator? <laugh>, right?

Maureen (03:41):

<laugh>. Oh my gosh.

Myka Meier (03:42):

I would've had one for you today had I known this was coming up.

Maureen (03:47):

I know I could, I could only find this today, but it didn't fit over my earphones, but I didn't have a fascinator on hand, but yes, Jess, a fascinator. Go ahead Myka. You can tell her.

Myka Meier (03:56):

So a fascinator, so think about a hat. A hat is actually where it covers four inches or more of the diameter wise. And a fascinator is something that usually just like a little headband that has like a little feather or a little like of something. Mm-hmm <affirmative>.

Maureen (04:09):

A little flare,

Myka Meier (04:10):

A little flare that you could wear to give you a wedding or a tea party or something like that.

Maureen (04:14):

See Jess? A tea party.

Jess (04:16):

Okay. Okay. So I think we need to get out of the way right away. The elephant in the room is that for me growing up a fascinator was someone who's really super interesting <laugh>. That's like the extent of the, so I'll give you a quick story, I'll make it super short. This is when I knew that I grew up in a family that did not have proper etiquette. I was seven years old. We went to my aunt and uncle's wedding in New York City and it was a restaurant in Chinatown. And you know how it has those like lazy Susans that go around so everyone can like, well my family was reaching over the lazy Susan to like grab the food and every other family in the restaurant was like gently passing it around. I'm okay, there's something different here. So that's the family I grew up in and I did not have the exposure <laugh> to etiquette and manners. Oh, but I, I'm fascinated. Well,

Myka Meier (05:06):

I love that story and I didn't know what a lazy Susan was either, so it makes you feel any better. I didn't grow up with any kind of formal etiquette or manners at all in my family. They were just about kindness. They were like sweet little family fair set of Florida. And my parents were just like, is that child sitting by themselves equal, go over, introduce yourself is, you know, if you've got two and they have none, you give one to that person. Mm mm-hmm <affirmative> So I think that is actually the most important part of it and way less is the forks and knives and the formalities of it, which I actually only learned as an adult myself.

Jess (05:40):

Oh, I'm so glad you said that. That makes me feel clued and I can really relate to that, that that kindness and those kinds of manners,

Myka Meier (05:48):

Whenever anybody is like, oh my gosh, are you judging me? I was like, are you kidding me? I probably made every single mistake in the entire world. This is a no judgment zone and that's how I know how to teach it.

Maureen (06:00):

Now I love that you said that about kindness because when we talk about like picking guests and when I said I know this etiquette expert, and she was like, what? I don't know if I could speak to that. And I was like, it's okay. She's totally the one to teach it because when I met you, you're so approachable. And I remember you said you were teaching at the Plaza and I thought that was so cool by the way. And for someone who says they didn't come for etiquette, I think those are the best teachers, right? Are the ones who had to learn it themselves.

Myka Meier (06:22):

Thank you.

Maureen (06:23):

Kindness for me is always what I thought was behind etiquette. And I love that you said that. One of my questions for you is what do you wish people really understood about the real purpose of etiquette? You know, is it kindness or courtesy? Because just like you, my mom said, you know, it's about like this unspoken civility and creating an enjoyable environment. It's like showing that you value the people you're around and you show them respect and the root of it was kindness. Not about, you know, being stuffy or being classist.

Myka Meier (06:52):

You are spot on. And I think that some people associate a lot of negatives to it, but actually if that's you, I want you to erase everything you thought you knew about etiquette and then I just wonder have you reimagine it as something different, which is it's about kindness and respect and thinking of other people before yourself. And that's all it is. And I think there's etiquette and then there's good manners and etiquette is kind of the protocol by which you do something to show respect and good manners to me is the most important part. I would take somebody with good manners over good etiquette any day, but it's really just about kindness and respect. That's it.

Jess (07:27):

Yeah. And I think at the timing is great to have this conversation because it's easy to think of etiquette as superfluous or even being a forgotten art, but in a society that's really forgetting how to be kind to each other or even to relate to one another, do you see manners and etiquette as a metaphor for kind of something larger?

Myka Meier (07:48):

Completely. It's about emotional intelligence. That's what it is. It's about connecting with people. And you could have somebody that knows every single fork in knife on the table, but they can't connect and make someone else feel good or welcome. Then there's still a lot to learn. I think now with AI and the developments and the speed by which we are moving, I think there is nothing more important to a future candidate for a job to a future partner in a relationship or friendship than to have high social and emotional intelligence and the good news that you can learn it.

Maureen (08:23):

That is good news. I think there's a lot of people who need to learn it <laugh>. Yeah.

Myka Meier (08:28):

And people think you have to be born with it. People say like, oh, you have to be born with this, but you really don't. There are techniques and methods that my team and I teach, we work with people from Fortune 50 companies and teams all the way to private individuals and children, and we have our work cut out for us. But it's the end of the day there's nothing more rewarding than seeing people walk out more confident and knowing that simple as that. We’re compassionate people. So it's sharing that with other people I think too. Yeah.

Jess (08:57):

Um, Jennifer Hudson. Oh yeah, I, I was sorry, I stepped on

Maureen (09:00):

No, go ahead. We were talking about this.

Jess (09:01):

I I, my manners are terrible today, <laugh>. Um, I heard you say that Americans have great manners and I was like, record scratch. So from your perspective across the pond, do you think that's really true?

Myka Meier (09:13):

I do. I do and people are always like, that's crazy <laugh>. I get so much viral tiktoks about me saying that I'm like thousands of comments. But here's the thing. I think Americans, wherever I go, I'm a British and American, but I'm American by birth and I spent a lot of time in both. And I think that Americans have excellent etiquette because we're a hospitable culture. We're a hospitable nation. We love to make people feel good from the servers at a restaurant to our hospitality and our hosting and our warmth. We're a really warm culture. Sometimes people in Europe will be like, the Americans are so loud, they're so, but it's because we're excitable because we're so happy to see you and what doesn't feel good about that? You know, when it comes to formal dining tables, I think I would probably highlight some other cultures for examples of <laugh> of that. But I think overall, I think that Americans have excellent etiquette for sure.

Jess (10:05):

Okay. So we're brash, but we're caring is what you're saying.

Myka Meier (10:09):

We're caring and that again, is the most, is the most important. But I would say that we could, and that's where I come in. I could help with some dining skills and some maybe things like that if someone wanted.

Maureen (10:20):

So let's back up, but how did you get here? You mentioned that you didn't grow up with etiquette. I know that you came from Sarasota, Florida or Sarasota girl to royal etiquette, some other places in the way there. Uh, tell us your story and a little bit how this became your path.

Myka Meier (10:36):

So I was living in New York City and working in PR and met a boy. That's always how the story starts. And he's Swiss and he was living in London, was working in New York City for a few months and had to go back to London. And I fell madly in love with him and I was like, of course he's leaving. And he said, come with me. So I moved, I quit my job. I moved to London, this was back in 2008 and I started a job working in PR there. And I was the only American in a British company and I was going to these incredible meals and events and galas and hosting clients and I had no idea what I was doing <laugh>. And I was, it was purely out of insecurity that I took my first etiquette course. And so I said to my boyfriend at the time, now husband, I was like, Marco, I had no idea.

Myka Meier (11:27):

I was sitting at this table and there were so many forks I'd never seen before in my life. I didn't know what to do and I was paralyzed. I couldn't have a good conversation with my client because I was so insecure. And so he said, you need to take an etiquette course, which is not what you want to hear the man you're dating tell you <laugh>. Um, but he said it out of love. He really meant it. So I took my first etiquette course and I could not believe what I learned in that day and I, I could not wait. When everybody got their paychecks on a Friday and they would run out to like top shop, I would save up for my next etiquette course and eventually, I mean I just couldn't get enough of it because I thought it was just about forks knives, but it was about confidence and walking into a room and my trainer, one of my trainers ended up being the same trainer as Princess Diana.

Myka Meier (12:13):

And so she's now retired and, but she at the time was teaching me the same exact etiquette that she taught Diana. And I thought, if I can learn this, anyone can learn this. And I just loved how it made me more confident in every situation. And I started eventually teaching little just friend groups and before you knew it, the friends were bringing friends and I would wake up and I would host my little flat in Kensington a dinner party. My husband would wake up in the morning, there'd be sequins stuck in the carpet, <laugh> and all these girls. It was like the social events of London to come as an American and take these courses. And my friend was like, I think you should charge for these. And um, so I was like, no, no, no, not yet. But eventually that became my, that became my thing. So I quit my job and started Beaumont etiquette and here we are. I eventually moved back to New York, opened the Plaza finishing program, um, started teaching corporate etiquette too. And now we're, yeah, little bits bit by bit.

Jess (13:11):

I'm picturing you like, uh, like Julia Roberts and Pretty Woman like counting the, for counting the tines on the fork and fast cargo flying all over the restaurant. <laugh>

Myka Meier (13:21):

100%. That was totally me, <laugh>, totally me sans occupation, but at the time, but yes, that was probably me.

Jess (13:27):

But you said your mind was blown by some of the things you learned that day. And I know you're saying sort of it was more about confidence and walking into a room, but what specifically just like changed your whole way of thinking about it? Can you give us an example?

Myka Meier (13:40):

Sure. So my etiquette teacher at the time, Diana May, she said she was, she's an old BBC presenter and she said, okay, I want you to walk up and introduce yourself to that gentleman. And I was like, and it was just somebody who worked at the restaurant and I was like, oh, I don't even know how to do it correctly. And she was like, okay, I want you to walk up. I want you to put out your right hand. I want you to make direct eye contact with him and very kindly and a soft voice. And we practiced my voice to make sure it came across authoritative and firm and not too soft and not too, I was going up at the end in my sentences and she was like, I want a nice firm handshake. We practiced my handshake and she's like, I want you to introduce yourself and then, and you say the formal Micah Meyer instead of just Micah to be more formal and then I want you to introduce me <laugh>. And I was like, oh. And so she was like, you say the IP person's name first. So Diana, may I introduce Mark Once I met Mark. And so I went through this whole thing, we practiced it and by the end of that five minutes I was like whoa.

Myka Meier (14:38):

Because if you introduced the person in the wrong order, it shows a lack of respect for that person. So the VIP person's name comes first and once you have little skills like that, you want to introduce everyone, you want to connect everyone and you say one thing you learned about the other person or that you know, and then those people start talking and before you know it you're a master networker. So I left that day and I was like introducing people. It was amazing.

Maureen (15:04):

See Jess, it's fun. Etiquette's fun.

Jess (15:07):

Incredible <laugh>. It's fun. I'm having fun right now.

Maureen (15:10):

<laugh>. I know. Well we were talking about it earlier like saying if everyone does the same thing and everyone learns the same etiquette, are we kind of stripping away personalities? Is it not fun when we become so homogenous and now we see that it is fun and I love your take on it Micah, how it's about really connecting people and you are a connector, right? Like you are, I remember speaking and you were like, oh, my husband's from Switzerland. I'm like, wait, how did you find a husband in Switzerland? But just the connections and the joy that you take in putting yourself out there, I think that's something the younger kids today could really learn. You know, with the advent of, you mentioned A.I., but social media, do you think that there is more or less focus on etiquette? Are we losing it? Are we losing our social manners or is there a light on it now?

Myka Meier (15:55):

So I think thankfully with social media there's a light on it, which is nice. But I do think at the same time people are losing those face-to-face interactions that are so special and I think so unique and so needed still. And I think that the more we communicate online, the more we lose a lot of those innate abilities that we thought were so natural. And I do little surveys on my Instagram and I take those surveys and I put them in my presentations. And one of them that I just added a couple weeks ago was asking what percent of people felt anxious when they walked into a new room, like a networking event or a party and you didn't know somebody. And 89% of people said they felt anxious. I did another one after that and almost a hundred percent of people said that they would not walk up and introduce themselves of that group.

Jess (16:46):

Wow.

Myka Meier (16:46):

To a stranger. And I thought, what a shame. Imagine all the people, you could be your future best friend, your future business contact could be right in front of you. And I have, I'm not shy, but I have no shame but walking up and introducing myself to anyone in any room. And I think that comes with practice techniques and knowledge about when it's appropriate and when it's not. And all of those things can be learned.

Jess (17:10):

So you think there's also an art to being able to do that in a way that is like, for example, I want to lead with authenticity, right? So can I do that? Can I go in and sort of follow these different cues and you know, be formal in the right ways and be thoughtful in the right ways, but also be authentic to me and my personality? How do I do that?

Myka Meier (17:34):

100%. So if you feel say little shy or a little uneasy or a little anxious, totally normal. It's normal to feel anxious. These are all everyday emotions of many people and I think that, you know, it doesn't feel natural to you. You can even say that to the person. Mm-hmm <affirmative> I could walk up and introduce myself and say hi, I just wanna introduce myself. My name's Myka, I don't know anybody else here. And I just wanted to come say hello and thought I'd start here. You look so friendly.

Maureen (18:02):

I love that. She makes it seem so easy.

Myka Meier (18:04):

Boom. It's like vulnerability. Yes, vulnerability. And that's okay if that is your authentic self and you feel vulnerable, tell that person and people will take wings around you and be like, oh my gosh, come, you know, I wanna introduce you to these, these people. And I think it's about choosing the right person to introduce yourself. The timing of that which I teach because sometimes it's just spotting the right opportunities. I always say people arrive fashionably late and if an event starts at six o'clock, people arrive at six 30 because they don't want to be the only one standing there in the room. But actually the best networking happens in the very beginning before people pair off, before people get their food, before people make friends. It's way harder to make connections. 30 minutes in. So I go boom, right in the middle, make all my friends in the beginning and then I pull people into the group as they come in and before you know it, I leave with 15 business cards and people are like, how do you do that? But at practice and it's technique.

Maureen (18:57):

Okay, two questions on that. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. You said you go right in the middle. So does that mean you're going at 6:15?

Myka Meier (19:02):

No, I go right in the beginning.

Maureen (19:03):

Oh, right in the beginning.

Myka Meier (19:04):

6:05. I go right in the beginning.

Maureen (19:06):

6:05. Okay. There we go everyone. Five minutes.

Myka Meier (19:08):

6:05

Maureen (19:09):

Five minutes grace time.

Myka Meier (19:10):

If you ever see me at a networking event, I am there at the beginning. And, and the other thing, if you feel anxious about this, it takes four minutes to acclimate to any new environment you're in. So give yourself grace, walk up and get a drink. It doesn't have to be alcoholic. Get a drink because it makes it look like you're here to stay instead of the awkward, like sitting in the corner by yourself, just get a drink, put away your phone. It's your adult comfort blanket. But then nobody approaches you and just be brave. Walk up and introduce yourself. It's hard.

Maureen (19:38):

Be brave.

Myka Meier (19:39):

Walk up and introduce yourself.

Maureen (19:40):

Okay. Then my second question was, you mentioned business cards. Mm. Like for me, I feel like that's something that's kind of gone by the wayside here in the states. I don't know if you see that internationally, but I found them to be so useful because when you're at an event and you're meeting a lot of people, it's easy to forget names. It's easy to forget what company they worked with or how you connected or what you connected over. Do you think that's something that young people going into the workforce now should be investing in a business card? Or do you think that's something that's se

Myka Meier (20:11):

I would say definitely a QR code first and foremost. And they're free.

Maureen (20:15):

So like on your phone you just, yes,

Myka Meier (20:17):

Okay, 100% you should have that. You should be ready for that. And if you want a business card in addition to that, great. If you don't have a job yet, you can have what's called a calling card, which is just your name. It could be your website, your social handles, whatever it is that you want to promote. But I think a physical card, people are more likely to keep in touch with you because they find your cards like, oh Micah, I remember her. Right. And it's that reminder. And now in a world where things aren't so tangible to have a tangible leave behind, I still pass around business cards. I have have them sometimes I don't use them if I'm using a QR code. But I think it's really important. Also business card etiquette or QR code, you only make that connection at the end of your conversation. So you don't walk up to somebody with business card. It's almost like I say it's like throwing Mardi Gras beads. You, you want to have purpose. So once you've had a meaningful conversation or you really have some kind of connection, then you give the business card not right when you, hi, I am Micah Meyer. It's like whoa, thanks Micah.

Jess (21:15):

A little aggressive. Okay. Little aggressive. Yeah.

Maureen (21:18):

And I thought I had all of this great etiquette but I'm learning so much already. I love it Micah. I love it. Now you have spent a lot of time with a lot of celebrities. I saw you with Snoop Dogg. Yeah. <laugh>. So that looked like a lot of fun. Maybe people wouldn't put you two together, but people wouldn't have put him with Martha either.

Myka Meier (21:35):

And it seems like going strong. <laugh>,

Maureen (21:36):

Is there anyone that would be like a dream client for you? Any celebrity that you see that's making mistakes that you're like, oh, if I could just get my hands on them.

Myka Meier (21:46):

Oh, there's not anybody that I'm like, oh my gosh, that person's making mistakes, I would love to get…

Maureen (21:51):

See her etiquette? She's even nice with that. <laugh>.

Jess (21:54):

I know. Yeah, exactly.

Myka Meier (21:56):

I would love to get to like a big family, say like, we have so many kids in our family, is this possible? And I'd love to like prove them wrong. Like yes you can. Like what's a big fan with a lot of children?

Jess (22:08):

The Kardashians.

Myka Meier (22:09):

The Kardashians. I would love to come in. Yeah, love for Kris to call me and say, okay, we have all these children. Like do work your magic. 'cause I love to teach children, I love to teach groups and families. And then I bring the families in at the end and the families are like, What?

Jess (22:27):

What?

Myka Meier (22:27):

What is this sorcery <laugh>? And then I have the children show the parents and the families what they learned. And then I teach the families how to then carry on the training once I've left. So it's kind of like nanny 9 1 1. But I love that 'cause it helps families, it helps families feel confident to bring their children to restaurants and to bring their children with them and know that they're going to know what to do when they meet adults and children. So it helps it's confidence.

Jess (22:54):

I don't know if it's the fa- famil-familiar you say that word 'cause you are

Maureen (22:59):

Familiarity,

Jess (22:59):

Thank you. Of social media. So like for example, my 19 year old's friends, some of them follow me on Instagram. And there's this like very familiar nature of that that takes a formality out of things so that when I see them they sort of talk to me like, yeah, I'm a peer. Can you see the change that's happening and like is that a problem or is it just sort of the nature of things?

Myka Meier (23:28):

Yes, I can see the change. I still think, you know, I'm teaching. I have a 9-year-old, very different than 19, but not in some ways where they're still meeting parents. My personal thing is it's not my job to teach other children who are not my own unless the parents pay me to do so. Or ask my advice. I think it's bad etiquette to point out bad etiquette. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Or to give unsolicited advice. I'm never gonna be that person. But what you would do with your daughter shows to her group of friends how she treats their parents and they take note. I think. So my daughter still says Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith, until Mrs. Smith said, oh please just call me Sarah. And until then, that's how my children and then their friends say, you call, you know my mom this. And she's like, well yeah, because that shows her respect. And then it's almost like a aha moment. So they have a lot of these really adult conversations. So I think it's how you train her to speak with those people around her and her life and the adults and her friends will pay attention.

Jess (24:28):

Maureen, you always had your kids call me Mrs. Downey. Yes. And you're the only person I know that did that. So that's so funny that you're saying that Myka.

Maureen (24:35):

That is funny. I didn't ever even think of it. And my kids went to a Quaker high school where they call everyone by the first name. And I don't know if you're familiar with that, Myka, but in the Quaker ethos, they believe that everyone is equal, even the children's voices. And so they really encourage them to call their teachers by their first name. Well, I almost had a heart attack when they came home from school and they said, Kevin said this. And I was like,

Jess (24:58):

Who's Kevin's?

Maureen (24:59):

I'm thinking Kevin is a friend this whole time and Kevin is the instructor. And I was like, you are absolutely to call him Mr. And they were like, no. And then I went and listened to something from the dean and I was like, okay, I understand the ethos. But that's how I was raised to show respect to your elders. And I do think Jess, we have lost a lot of that from social media. Just that, not that you can't be comfortable and casual and familiar and still be respectful. I think there is something that we need to show our elders and they have a lot of advice and a lot of wisdom. And when we take away some of those formalities, you can see how kids don't treat their elders with as much respect. I mean, yeah, it's disappointing sometimes when I see the way that children interact with older people, just even in a grocery store.

Maureen (25:46):

Mm-hmm <affirmative>. They don't uphold that same sense of respect. And I think we lose a little bit of when we would go back to that baseline of kindness and regard and just showing someone that you're giving them a comfortable environment and when you're rude to someone and when you don't show an elder respect Yes. That all goes away. Yeah. And it creates an uncomfortable situation for everybody. So yes, I came from etiquette. My mom had my kids take etiquette classes. I remember they came home and said BMW, that's what they remembered, which was yeah, bread, meal, water, BMW. That's how they remembered, which was their water glass and which was their bread plate. But like I had to pull these out to show you, these are like my books. This is with Dorothy Draper. Yeah. And then I had Emily Post.

Myka Meier (26:32):

Those are amazing.

Maureen (26:33):

These are old books, but like these old books, I feel like, is there some things that's old fashioned now, Myka? Because Yeah, as we progress and you know, we were talking about “ladylike”.

Jess (26:45):

The word ladylike. Yeah.

Maureen (26:47):

Is ladylike old fashioned? Because as we're striving for, you know, as feminists and Yes. You know, equality and all of these things. And then we're saying yes, wait, you know,

Myka Meier (26:59):

Yes,

Maureen (27:00):

We struggle with some of this etiquette. So tell us.

Myka Meier (27:03):

Yes. I don't use the term ladylike. I teach very gender neutral. For example, years ago I said that we don't say ladies first anymore because why are you pointing out my gender? Just say please after you. And, and it's about showing somebody respect by choosing to order first or open the door for that person. It's not because they're gender. I can do it myself because you're showing respect to me because you want to. So I think that ladylike comes off as, I just had this conversation about an hour ago with somebody about, you know, a lot of people, a lot of women were taught to be a nice lady, nice and ladylike. I'm not raising my daughter like that at all. I'm like, you are firm, you are clear, you are strong, you are polite, you are kind. So I think ladylike has a connotation that is old fashioned.

Myka Meier (27:48):

I don't use it, I also don't use the words fancy, I don't use the words. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. You know, I just think like etiquette should be every day manner should be every day. So it's, I teach if you are wearing a dresser skirt, here are some sitting options. But, um, because you're wearing a dresser skirt, um, it's not because you're a woman, you sit like this. So I think it's, you know, my, my book is called Modern Etiquette Made Easy. I teach very modern. A lot of people don't like that. I get a lot of online hatred and a lot of emails, horror, horror emails. And you know what, I have to be the authentic and say I don't think that's the future of etiquette. And at least not in my world, a lot of people are still teaching what I would consider old fashioned etiquette. But I'm, yeah, I'm in a different path and I'm okay with that. And not everybody's going to like that about me and my style, but I'm very, I'm very forward thinking in that way, in my, in my opinion.

Jess (28:38):

I think that's important. If you're going to be deferential, it shouldn't be because of your gender, for example. It should be because you, it's the right thing in that moment to be deferential, let's say to an elder or, but I just feel relieved the idea that sort of ladylike is becoming sort of more of an antiquated term. Like yes, you must be like a lady. Yeah,

Myka Meier (29:00):

Exactly. I think it just, there's no reason for it, I think. And if there's no reason for it, I don't believe in it and I don't teach it. I still understand the term, but also what I was saying is about being nice. The word nice is one that I'm taking outta my vocabulary too. You like, be a nice little girl, be a nice little, but sometimes you shouldn't be nice. Sometimes you should be direct and still kind or direct and still respectful. But you shouldn't always be nice when someone doesn't deserve for you to be nice. You know, I think that's important to raise that next generation. If somebody doesn't deserve that, you shouldn't be nice to everyone because maybe they don't deserve that. And instead you should be direct and respectful in your approach. So I think there's a lot of change coming up and it's up to us as that generation teaching the next generation. And it's, we have challenges that our parents didn't have. And I think that it, that's tough. It's not an easy job or position to be in, but I think it's important to challenge those words, those terms. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And it's, you know, and a lot of, interestingly with many manners, there's so much data out there and science that says our social and emotional intelligence, the majority of it is developed between the age of two and six.

Myka Meier (30:08):

Think about that. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So that's wild, right? Then the rest of your life, that's when that part of your brain was developing. So if you have a little human out there that you are in some way influencing, it's really important, especially when they're that little. But if you have a teenager and you think, is it too late? It's absolutely not. It's never too late to start teaching and training and, and delivering those messages of kindness and respect.

Maureen (30:34):

So tell us about Mini Manners. You mentioned it, it's not just miniature manners, it's an actual new program. This is your new baby, right?

Myka Meier (30:41):

Yeah, it's an actual new company. It's my newest baby. I have two babies, real babies at home. But uh, we're a 9-year-old and a 4-year-old. But I have Mini Manners. So Mini Manners is, it's a show on YouTube and we started with puppets. We had actual beautiful, incredible puppeteers from Los Angeles create these puppets that have movable fingers. And that was so hard to teach forks and knife skills to puppets

Jess (31:05):

<laugh>.

Myka Meier (31:05):

So we, we kind of sidelined that for a while. And so we moved into animation and it's teaching social and emotional intelligence to ages two to six. And that that's through many manners. So I kind of thought, you know, there's nothing more important than now than teaching this newest alpha generation in kindness. And, and how do we do that? And I obviously manners. And so that's how many manners is born and it's in its infancy. We have so much work to do. But eventually I would love to have products to help families at home. And I have all these things coming up, but right now it's a show and, and lots of educational tools

Maureen (31:47):

And where can people see it and how can people show their children, oh,

Myka Meier (31:51):

I need to practice telling people that more. It is on YouTube. So it's the Mini Manners show, also mini manners.com. We have little table settings for you to print out and little free resources, family resources and articles with experts in every industry around social emotional intelligence and manners and children for development. But it's, it's meant to be a one-stop shop for families that want to raise a kinder generation. And that's our goal.

Maureen (32:18):

How can we not all want that? You know,

Jess (32:20):

I wanna make sure we talk about Ladies of London, but I wanna ask you, 'cause you alluded to it twice, how do you tune out some of the negative noise on some of your social and, and all the ways that you're getting feedback?

Myka Meier (32:34):

I mean, truth be told on social media, I do have a social media manager that combs through because you know, there was a time where I was doing it my own. I mean, we could have in one day because of an article I do or the TV show or something, we could have a thousand dms of people and maybe half of those are saying evil things and I just, it's not good for mental health. Yeah. So I just made that decision on my own. But when I do, because I do still like to log in and I like to see moments of my friends and when I see something negative, the block function is fabulous. But I do think that <laugh> there is something about just being like, this is an unhappy person that wrote that and always trying, when they're unkind, you be kinder or throw kindness like confetti the above it, erase it, block it, ignore it, it hurts. But it's almost like the person on the other line doing that is hiding. And they're probably saying really unkind things because they're not happy fighting fires. Fire never works, ever.

Jess (33:36):

Oprah says, don't ask what's wrong with them, but what happened to them? Yes - and I thought that was so wise.

Myka Meier (33:43):

It's true. And people, you know, before we did Ladies of London, they actually really prepare you. You go through, I mean I jokingly call it “Bravo bootcamp” and they kind of warn you and they say you could be the most liked person in the world. I mean, somebody called me the Mr. Rogers of Bravo <laugh>. But I I, I was like, that is so kind of you. Thank you, I'll take that. But it doesn't matter. People will find something that they are unhappy with. So you just have to be your authentic self. And I would say try to ignore it or block it or erase it. Pretend it didn't happen, ignore it. <laugh>, ignore it. We all deal with it sadly. Um, and I'm hoping that social media can find different tools in the future to help people, you know? Yeah. It's sad. Yeah.

Maureen (34:24):

Well they should take your etiquette classes.

Myka Meier (34:26):

Sometimes my social media manager is not in control. I find myself, I'm like feeling quite cheeky and I write like, here's a free pass to my course, social etiquette or like, I'll just ignore everything they said. I'll just like write something funny or like back love it and be like, this just got you entrance into my finishing program. Congratulations. Or like <laugh>, which you shouldn't egg someone on like that, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm like, oh gosh,

Maureen (34:50):

<laugh>. Oh, I love it so much. Well, I have to say that knowing what you do, you kept kind of teasing it on your social. You're like, something's coming up. And when you got cast on Ladies of London, that was a big she what for me? Like she's doing a reality show. What is she doing? I know that we're a little tight on time here, but if you can just give us a peek into what that felt like for you and how that's, how that's been.

Myka Meier (35:13):

I mean, it was a rollercoaster is what it was. You know, I'm not a big reality TV person before this. I don't even have a TV in my home. Real Housewives of New York asked me years ago if I wanted to make that happen, if I wanted to try to go and join that cast. And it, I was pregnant at the time and moving to London. So I was like, oh my gosh, thank you so much, but you know, not right for me. And um, then they came back a couple years later and said, are you still in London? Are you not pregnant anymore? We might have something for you

Maureen (35:42):

<laugh>. Well Ladies of London seems like a much better fit than that franchise of the Real Housewives of New York.

Myka Meier (35:48):

Well, I got to talk about my work that was so important to me. And Bravo is an amazing platform. It's produced by BBC, the teams together were incredible. And so I really felt comfortable with the producers. I really loved the team, I loved the cast. And I thought to myself, you know, if I have an opportunity to teach people even 1% of the Bravo audience about this beautiful world of etiquette and kindness, and why not? Why? You know, why wouldn't I, I would always regret it if I didn't try it.

Jess (36:18):

Plus you get to wear like chic British naval officer outfits. Your fashion is the best. Oh my. I love it.

Myka Meier (36:24):

<laugh>, that was really cool. That was a, that was beautiful custom tailor made Joshua Kane outfit and you went to his, his studio and he measures you and it's like gold thread and I mean, you really do feel like you're a naval officer. That is actually how I felt going into my event.

Maureen (36:41):

Yeah, you looked amazing.

Myka Meier (36:43):

Thank you. It was really fun.

Maureen (36:45):

Well, I loved watching the whole season, first season. I thought those women were the most vicious people I've ever seen on reality TV of the first season of Ladies of London. This season was just so much fun, obviously to get to watch my friend on tv, but I thought you handled yourself the entire season with impeccable grace. And that cannot be said for most reality stars. Even if they go in saying, I'm gonna be behave, I'm gonna, you were your true real self and I just loved every minute of it.

Myka Meier (37:13):

Thank you.

Maureen (37:14):

Now we always, you're balancing a lot with the kids and many manners and Beaumont etiquette and now a reality TV star. Is there any mantra that you have or any bit of advice that you have for our listeners that you can leave them with that you live by every day?

Myka Meier (37:29):

Uh, yes. Don't think, just do every single day. I say don't think just do because it's so overwhelming. Or it can be. And there's so much of my to-do list, it's ridiculous. And I write down the five things that I need to get done that day and the rest is just a bonus. I don't believe that you can do everything. I think you just have to do your best. If you think of your whole to-do list, it's overwhelming. So just figure five things, just start, don't think, just do.

Jess (37:55):

That's

Maureen (37:56):

Excellent. Well, Myka, thank you so much for teaching us today. I thought I knew about etiquette, but I learned so much today and we cannot wait to see what you do next.

Myka Meier (38:06):

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for having me. What a wonderful conversation. You make it so easy. You're kind of like bravo, where you forget there are cameras, you forget there's a much larger audience and you're just having a good chat <laugh> and you're like, oh wait, all of America's gonna hear this.

Maureen (38:20):

Biggest compliment ever. Yes.

Myka Meier (38:23):

I love it. Thank you. You're so good at what you do.

Jess (38:25):