F**k Yea!

Your hosts, Emily and Sage, try to remember how they first met within a connected inner circle of friends. Not even a year later, those initial lasting first impressions will lead them to Adult Easter, coffee talk, a new town whore, a greaser, launching a podcast and becoming each other’s “F**k Yea’s”.  

Transcript

Emily (00:00):

Yeah. What's up Los Angeles? We're broadcasting live from the Westside, dishing out our weekly adventures as two single women who… 

Sage:

Divorcees! 

Emily:

Divorcees, who may or may not be middle aged. I don't know. Let's be real. Emily's middle age is likely wildly different from Sage’s. Do you agree? 

Sage:

Mmm? Early forties? 

Emily:

You kind of live on the edge. And I'm going to live until I'm 110. 

Sage:

And that's because you got mom vibes. 

Emily:

No! 

Sage:

Okay. I'm the crazy one. 

Emily:

I'm not a mom.

Sage (00:27):

I know.

Emily (00:28):

Sage is a mom. 

Sage:

I am a mom. 

Emily:

Sage has the ultimate mom vibes. Let's be real. You do! You are such a mom. 

Sage:

Because I have an SUV?  Is that where you go with it, Ms BMW? 

Emily:

I actually wouldn't let her bring it today to record our first podcast. She offered to drive and I was like, no.

Sage (00:47):

Yeah. Emily was like, we have to pull up in a BMW. Not an SUV.

Emily (00:50):

No, sorry. Anyway, regardless, we will always be young at heart.

Sage (00:54):

Absolutely.

Emily (00:55):

And ready to rock and roll. 

Sage:

Of course. 

Emily:

So listen in, follow along our quest to find and maybe lose love, respect, friendship, sex, work, trust,

Sage (01:07):

Jobs,

Emily (01:08):

Jobs. 

Sage:

Men. 

Emily:

Men. All of the above. 

Sage:

Right? 

Emily:

But whatever you do, don't call me babe. And don't call us mama.

Sage (01:19):

No, no, do not.

Emily (01:20):

No mom vibes.

Sage (01:22):

Do not call me mama, unless you are my two little kids.

Emily (01:26):

Okay, so who are we? My name's Emily and I am new to Los Angeles. I originally hail from Boston, Massachusetts and about nine, eight-ish months ago - I think this might be close to my eight month anniversary here. It's January 12th, 2024. I packed up two suitcases. My little dog - he has his own suitcase. So I guess I had three in total, plus a dog and a laptop. And I bought a one-way ticket, had an Airbnb for three months and landed here. And now it's September and I'm still kind of here. And I'm currently unemployed. FUNemployed. Los Angeles is the best place to be unemployed. It's like an adult playground. And what do you do then get together with your friends and launch a podcast? It's very LA of me. And so I'm acclimating as you say to the West Coast lifestyle. And I met my friend Sage here. I let her introduce herself.

Sage (02:18):

Hello. Hello. I have been living on the Westside for 23 years. I am originally from Plymouth-Canton, Michigan. Raised there and left at about the age of 21 years old with five of my best girlfriends that we grew up together from middle school, high school. Anyways, so I am divorced and have two kids born and raised in the area. And as they are getting older at 16 and almost 14 years old, it is my time now.

Emily (02:57):

Mama's time.

Sage (02:58):

Yeah.

Emily:

Yeah. 

Sage:

No more mom guilt. I'm owning me. I'm back to college to study law. I'm doing this podcast with my new bestie Emily. And currently we are neighbors living side by side in studios.

Emily (03:17):

The same studio that I landed in.

Sage (03:19):

Exactly, I know 

Emily:

I'm waiting for them to kick me out. 

Sage:

I kicked myself out of my condo here in Santa Monica due to mold. And so I am experiencing the Venice life now, living next to Emily in a studio. So that's a little bit about me.

Emily (03:38):

So Sage and I are new friends. New0-ish.  We just met. 

Sage:

Last football season. 

Emily:

Well, it's questionable when we actually met.

Sage (03:45):

Yeah. A little blurry.

Emily (03:47):

It's a little blurry.

Sage (03:49):

So my first impression of you was like, yeah, skeptical. I'm not sure we're going to vibe and I'm just kind of checking you out. 

Emily:

Like, who the fuck is this bitch? 

Sage:

Yeah, exactly

Emily (03:58):

Showing up,

Sage (03:59):

Joining my circle of friends

Emily:

Judging my outfit. I thought I put a lot of thought into that outfit. I thought I looked cute. 

Sage:

Okay, so it's a long, and it was like an army green long dress with a belt around the waist, but that belt around the waist was like, 

Emily:

You fucking hated the belt.

Sage:

Decades ago. 

Emily:

No, it was not! 

Sage:

We're not doing that anymore.

Emily (04:18):

That was one of the first things you said to me as a new friend too. You were like, honey, we need to fix your wardrobe.

Sage (04:22):

Yeah, such a bitch

Sage (04:28):

And then, yeah, so I was just kind of observing you and I'm like, who is this person in my circle of friends sitting at a table with all my people and no one even formally introduced us either. That's how rude my friends are.

Emily (04:41):

I don't even remember you being there.

Sage (04:43):

Ok. Thanks.

Emily (04:43):

But it was very blurry. I don't remember this at all. And you're sitting there judging me with your side eye. 

Sage:

I know because you're with my friends and no one's like, you're like, 

Emily:

Okay, so all my East Coast friends are like, that's what they think LA is. They're like, oh, these bitches, they're going to look you up and down. I'm like, no, they're not. They're so friendly. But I was really excited. So again, I'm like new to LA, I am like, I need friends, all like doe-eyed.

Sage:

Put yourself out there. 

Emily:

I'm like, who? I'm like, this is awesome. Adult Easter!  Because on the East Coast, it's like Easter is huge, especially in Boston.

Sage (05:12):

Of course, Michigan as well.  

Emily (05:12):

It's Irish Catholic, Italian Catholic. And so Easter is actually a super, when you're single and middle aged, you have no family in the neighborhood.

Sage (05:21):

I don’t know what that feels like.

Emily (05:21):

I hate Easter. No, it's horrible.  It’s horrible.

Sage (05:23):

I'm like the one with the Easter basket and all the egg hunt and candies and gifts.

Emily (05:28):

All your kids around you.  Yeah exactly.

Sage (05:30):

And I'm hiding the basket. Go find your… One year, let me just say this. When I was a little girl growing up in Michigan, Plymouth-Canton, my mom hid my Easter basket by the heat vent. 

Emily:

Okay.

Sage:

So all of my chocolate and candies were melted when I found my Easter basket because it's not warm

Emily:

Mom of the year! 

Sage:

It's not warm in Michigan at Easter time.  It's still like your heat's on and it might be snowing. So cute.

Sage (05:56):

Okay, so let’s talk about our Easter party.

Emily (05:57):

So this is what I remember. You show up really late. So Easter party adult Easter starts at 11, but no one actually really showed up until three. It's also California. It's like California time and she shows up, rolls in,

Sage (06:11):

What was it like eight o’clock?

Emily (06:12):

Wasted! I think so, I don’t know.

Sage (06:13):

I was with another friend and so we had a pre celebration of Easter and then, okay, go ahead.

Emily (06:20):

And her head is bleeding. That's all I remember.  And I thought you fell at the party, but apparently no, this was an injury from weeks prior.

Sage (06:32):

Yes, yes. It's an injury for weeks prior that keeps opening up.

Emily (06:35):

Somehow got busted open at this Easter party. This is Adult Easter friends. This is what happened. 

Sage:

So my head’s bleeding 

Emily:

Everywhere and the whole party is trying to convince her to go to the ER to get stitches. And she refuses. 

Sage (06:51):

Yeah, I'm like, it's going to heal just fine.

Emily (06:53):

And it’s healed.  But you couldn't see it either because you're just half in the bag and you're not looking at yourself. But there's blood streaming all over her face. The other girls at this party were rolling their eyes and I was like, the girl just went through a fucking breakup.

Sage (07:06):

Okay, that is so sweet of you. In my mind, I'm like, this is the new town whore because you keep sleeping with all these dudes and picking them up at the bar. 

Emily:

Me? 

Sage:

Yes!  Yes, Emily.

Emily:

I’m the town whore. 

Sage:

I'm like, Emily just moves to the Westside. And all I hear from our other friends is like she hooked up with this guy and went to the bar and hooked up with that guy.

Emily (07:26):

I might have, yeah.

Sage (07:27):

Quite a few. 

Emily:

I had some fun.

Sage:

Who just shows up here and has sex with everyone? But then I get it.

Emily (07:35):

It is so easy in LA.  You like sneeze and a guy's penis is in you.  But that day?  No, that week?

Sage:

That week, yeah.

Emily:

You broke up with a love bomber.

Sage (07:41):

Yeah.  So I was blindsided by this, number one due to my age being in my early forties and not being on social media. And I wasn't really aware of the term,

Emily (07:54):

Like what was happening.

Sage (07:55):

Correct. And because we were childhood friends and we already had an investment and a relationship of growing up together, I thought it was purely because he just always loved me like he claimed.  And after explaining to my mom friends and my other girlfriends, I'm like, yeah, I'm getting 30 texts a day and naked pictures are being sent and videos because he's in Arizona, Chino Valley. So our best communication was all of these texts and videos to feel connected. But I learned later that love bombing is actually something that occurs. 

Emily:

It's a tactic. 

Sage:

Yeah, an obsession.

Emily (08:40):

Yeah. Well, I think it's like a manipulation. It's like they come on really fast right at the beginning. So yours was a special flavor because it was a guy you already know that you grew up with. I think typically it's like someone new that you just meet on the street or on the app or at a bar, whatever, and then they come on really hard and heavy right up front. And that's the whole point, think about it, “love bombing”. They're bombing you with affection and attention and I love you and this and that and to get you hooked, right? It's total manipulation. They want what seems to be a relationship with you and then you find out later that it was all just kind of fake. They just wanted to hook you and get you in. And I think with women in particular, we're so vulnerable to that shit that we're like, oh, he loves me. And then it turns out to not be real or a real relationship.  Or they flip around and then all of a sudden they ghost you or they're not there anymore and then all those feelings are gone and they're mean. It's very two-faced power grabby in my opinion.

Sage (09:43):

Yeah, you think in the midst of it because you're just being so loved and wanted that oh my god, 

Emily:

It feels good. 

Sage:

Absolutely. And then like you said, it's like then they kind of crumb you. Is that another term I've heard?

Emily:

Breadcrumbing. 

Sage:

Thank you. Yeah. 

Emily:

Good girl. 

Sage:

Yeah. Considering I have no social media, I'm trying to get with the times.

Emily:

She’s getting there. 

Sage:

Bread crumbing is like, you know, here's a little bit.

Emily (10:11):

I get breadcrumbed all the time.  

Sage:

But not all of it.

Emily:

That's Long Beach guy. Long Beach Guy breadcrumbed me for years.

Sage (10:14):

Yeah.

Emily (10:14):

The one we think might be gay.

Sage (10:15):

Right. So breadcrumbing is like a little bit, but not the full ante.

Emily (10:22):

 It's like, hi, I'm still interested in you.

Sage (10:23):

Kind of, but ghosting,

Emily (10:24):

It's keeping us warm.

Sage (10:25):

Yeah.

Emily (10:26):

Toasty.

Sage (10:27):

So my love bombing experience was lesson learned. It's not reality. It feels really good for a short time. And then…

Emily (10:35):

Does it though?

Sage (10:36):

When I look back…

Emily (10:37):

Does anyone actually like being love bombed?

Sage (10:41):

I don't know. It depends on the person.

Emily (10:43):

I think we're more savvy now. 

Sage:

Definitely. 

Emily:

I think because of social media and because these terms are out there, I think we pick up on it better. At least I would hope we do. We have a better sense now. Or your friends. Your friends can always see it better than you can. So as friends, we should always have each other's back. You can call it, you can say that's love bombing or be at least a little bit more suspicious, but we don't want to have our guards up all the time. That’s the thing.

Sage (11:06):

Exactly. But the other part of it was like I'm giving everything upfront and so much of it what will be left after six months? 

Emily:

Give, give, give.

Sage:

Yeah. Let's have anal sex. Let's videotape our sexcapades.

Emily:

Damn girl.  This is you and your love bomber? 

Sage:

Yeah, but this is all within three months. So then what do you have later? 

Emily:

Right. 

Sage:

And we want a fuck yea. 

Emily:

Yes!

Sage:

We want someone that's like, fuck yea, I want to be with you. 

Emily (11:33):

Everyone wants a fuck yea!  Who doesn't want to fuck yea? 

Sage:

Explain what a fuck yea is.

Emily:

It’s a whole separate thing. It's about this mmm, maybe, mmm, I don't know. And that was very confusing to me when I first went through my divorce and then my terrible affair afterwards and I was extremely heartbroken and I hadn't been single I think since I was 15, like legit. And apps had started and the whole world had changed and turned upside down. And so I went out to dinner with a friend of mine and she's about 10 years younger and she's always very cool and very with it, she knows all the shit.  And she gave me the best advice ever becase I was very confused. There's a lot of confusion out there. Same with love bombing. It's just very confusing. It's like, are you into me? Are you not into me? Are you going to make time for me? Are you busy? Are you not busy? So many people are flaky. They cancel. They have multiple options going. And that is I think online dating. It's a little bit of the culture too though.

Sage (12:23):

Well, it's instant gratification.

Emily (12:24):

Well, it's just like you can, somebody else's out there. So this person you're like, not sure. I'm not sure. So I'm going to just keep you warm. That breadcrumbing we talked about, all that stuff. Or maybe when I'm free or the mood strikes me or whatever, I don't know what goes through their heads.

Emily (12:43):

She said to me, Emily, hold out for the guy that's going to say, fuck yea. That when you meet him or you send him a text or you ask him out for coffee or whatever it is that he says, fuck yea, I'm there. That it's not just a… 

Sage:

Maybe. 

Emily:

I don't know. And I get that, as you know, all the fucking time where guys are like, let me think about it. Let me wait until the smoke clears. It's like, no, no, it's either fuck yea or no. And honestly, the way I am and where I am in my life, I don't know why not everything is a fuck yea. This is applicable to everything. Like friendships. When you and I first met and you showed up a complete hot mess at the Easter party and I was like, fuck yea, that's my girl. That's my tribe. And it's like, I want to be with this person.

(13:33):

I want to be in the car of life navigating. I want to go out when you're like, Hey, let's go do this. Let's go launch a podcast. Fuck yea. 

Sage:

Fuck yea!

Emily:

You're in or you're not. It's all this wishy washy. Same with jobs. When you're choosing a candidate for a role. This, I don't know, everyone's just so it's like don't think, overthinking and overanalyzing and waiting for the next option to come along. And that feels like shit as a person. And everybody feels this way, dating in particular, but jobs, everything. It's like no one wants to be the backup or the person's not sure if they want to be there. Actually this was a big problem in my marriage. Total side note, we can do a future episode on this. I felt like he never wanted to actually, he was not a fuck yea about me. And that's probably why it didn't last.

Sage (14:21):

My fuck yea is exactly like I'm showing up for you. Fuck yea, I want to be with you. 

Emily:

Let's go. 

Sage:

Let's go. Yeah.

Emily:

Let's do it.

Emily (14:27):

Don't think about it. Don't overanalyze. If it feels good and who doesn't want to just have a good time and get to know somebody? Everyone's so freaking afraid I think. And it's this, I don't know. And then LA has this terrible reputation over, if it's raining in the winter everyone cancels their plans.

Sage (14:48):

Dating in LA sucks.  There is no fuck yea’s.  It’s a bunch of Peter Pans.

Emily (14:53):

Maybe there is. 

Sage:

No.

Emily:

I'm holding out for my fuck yea. That was the whole advice from my friend, more than, maybe a decade ago. And it's still relevant today that it's like anything you do in life has to be a fuck yea.

Sage (15:06):

My fuck yea is definitely not…

Emily (15:08):

Otherwise, it’s a waste of time.

Sage (15:08):

Yeah, but it's not in LA. I've been here 23 years. There is no fuck yea. I need to go. 

Emily:

You're not going to burst my bubble. 

Sage:

I need to go to Texas. I need to go to Montana. I need to go back to Michigan. There is a fuck yea. 

Emily:

There's no fuck yea in Texas!  What?

Sage:

There's a cowboy out there for me. He's on my list with the firemen and the motorcycle guy. Like, Hey!

Emily:

There are cowboys in California. I just saw them.

Sage:

Where?

Emily (15:33):

We were in Central Coast. Alamos.  You weren’t there.

Sage (15:35):

Santa Monica and Venice. There are no fucking cowboys. There's no fuck yea’s. They're Peter Pans. I already told you, they want coffee.

Emily (15:42):

Guys. Don't ever ask a girl out for coffee. It's like instant turnoff.  Instant.

Sage (15:48):

Let's go have drinks, make a reservation.

Emily (15:51):

Coffee? Buy me a fucking glass of wine. Like coffee? I mean, I did put it out there.

Sage:

Espresso martini.

Emily:

I did put it out there. I said, would you like to meet for coffee or drink? That's like the script. You're supposed to say that or whatever. And he picked coffee. They're great eye candy though.  Really good eye candy in this city. Ladies. 

Sage:

Ok.

Emily:

I go to the gym. It's like eye candy left and right. That's all you really need at our age. The fuck yea or the eye candy. Nothing in between. There's no, I don't want a gray area. No thanks. You can have your coffee when the smoke clears by yourself.

Sage (16:21):

Listen, I am like a 12 out of a 10 in Texas or Michigan or Montana. Out here in LA, you have to be 24. 

Emily (16:31):

Don’t say that to yourself. 

Sage:

And rail thin. 

Emily:

Absolutely not.

Sage (16:33):

And big ass or big boobs. One of the two. I don't know what's cool anymore.

Emily:

Neither?

Sage:

But early forties? Opportunity is dwindling in LA.  

Emily (16:42):

No, not true.

Sage (16:43):

I've been here 23 years.

Emily (16:44):

Not my experience. I've been here eight months and I will tell you a) I will not let you burst my bubble. I'm in the honeymoon phase if we talk about this all the time. And b) it's not true. I think my outside perspective is really valuable because I've seen it totally different than you describe it. And I also think what you describe is everywhere. I go back home to the East Coast, it's the same shit. There's no fuck yea’s in Boston. It's worse.

Sage (17:08):

I have my fuck yea’s in Michigan for sure. There'd be a line out my goddamn door. I'm so hot over there. Everyone's overweight in Michigan.

Emily:

Yeah, but is that what you want?  

Sage:

They eat poorly, no the women there. There is no eye candy. 

Emily:

Everybody. Sage’s ideal man is an obese, McDonald’s eating…

Sage:

I'm talking about the women.

Emily (17:27):

Yeah the men are the same.  You think the men are, like…

Sage (17:29):

You're right. They're not fucking hot. But they'll show up and they'll be sweet. Sometimes you have to overlook the hotness for the kindness.

Emily (17:38):

I think you're giving them way too much credit. 

Sage:

We'll see.

Emily:

I think that's a different flavor of fuck yea.

Sage (17:43):

Okay.

Emily (17:44):

Very different.

Sage (17:45):

Yeah.  I mean it depends on what State and City.

Emily (17:47):

They'll marry you and then sit on their fucking lazyboy recliner getting fat while you do their laundry and pick up their dirty socks. And that's not, 

Sage:

I think that's how men are in general.

Emily (17:59):

They’ll pop out babies.

Sage (18:00):

Eww

Emily (18:00):

Yeah, see that's not, fuck yea. Fuck yea is let's get in the car. Fuck yea is like, I just met you. You seem cool. Let's hang out Thursday, 7:00 PM glass of wine. Maybe get in the car, do something. Who cares. Be spontaneous.

Sage (18:20):

Totally.

Emily (18:20):

And be into it. Fuck yea is being into it. Okay, so I'm new to LA and everyone's like, oh, you have to have a car. You have to have a car. Right. And I'm from the East Coast. I didn't own a car on the East Coast. People on the East Coast don't own cars. It's like we don't want them. They're a pain in the ass. Everyone has some beater that's parked illegally that gets towed everyday or every other day. And so I hadn't owned a car in at least 10 years, I can't even remember. Didn't need one. I come out here, I went four months without a car. I'm very proud of that.

Sage (18:49):

Which is impressive.

Emily (18:49):

Very proud. I lived in Los Angeles for four months without a car. But then I get this job up in the Valley and I was like, oh shit, okay. How am I going to get from the Westside to the Valley? That's actually pretty challenging in a city like Los Angeles. So I had to get a car and my good friends here had to teach me how to parallel park and how to actually drive the goddamn thing. I still kind of have issues parking. But then all of a sudden I find out that you got to have a car guy. You don't have to have just a car. You have to have a car guy. And everybody has a car guy. And that's the thing in LA. And I'm like, what the hell is a car guy? And so I go to Sage and I go, do you have a car guy? I need a car guy. And she's like, oh, do I have a car guy?

Sage (19:30):

Absolutely. I have a car guy.

Emily (19:32):

And then I'm like, well, what's a car guy?

Sage (19:34):

Well, I like to call him my greaser.

Emily (19:36):

Oh,

Sage (19:37):

Big K.

Emily (19:38):

Big K.

Sage (19:38):

Yes.

Emily (19:39):

Am I allowed to call him my car guy now too or is he only your car guy?

Sage (19:43):

No, I handed him down to you as my greaser. He can now be your car guy.

Emily (19:47):

We share Big K in some ways when it comes to cars. 

Sage (19:51):

When it comes to cars only.

Emily (19:54):

Only.

Sage (19:54):

In some capacity, we have something in common.

Emily (19:57):

No up to him. Because if it were up to him, we would be sharing a lot more.

Sage (19:58):

Yes, it would be…

Emily (20:00):

He's just a car guy.

Sage (20:01):

It would be a three-way.

Emily (20:02):

Yeah.

Sage (20:02):

Yeah.

Emily (20:03):

And I think car guys in LA it's like they do all kinds of things.

Sage (20:06):

Don't they?

Emily (20:07):

Yeah, they can.

Sage (20:08):

A greaser.

Emily (20:09):

He's a greaser. This one's a greaser.

Sage (20:11):

For sure.

Emily (20:12):

For sure. I think we should bring him on.

Sage (20:14):

He's a dirty greaser.

Emily (20:15):

Oh yeah. I don't know if he's going to like that. We need to bring him on. We need to have him call in.

Sage (20:21):

I love that idea. He could be our first guest.

Emily (20:26):

FIrst guest.  He wants to be the first guest. 

Sage:

Oh, absolutely. 

Emily:P

Big K. The greaser. Your car guy. 

Sage:

Yeah. 

Emily:

Awesome. So next week, 

Sage:

Hopefully?

Emily:

Same time, same place, maybe. 

Sage:

Yup, yup. Hopefully we'll bring him on. 

Emily:

We'll try. We'll get big K on the line.

Sage (20:38):

And he's super good at the man's point of view.

Emily (20:43):

Sometimes. 

Sage:

Yeah. On dating.

Emily:

We got in a little tiff, but I will tell you that, I don't know if I told you this. He apologized afterwards.

Sage:

Which a man should do. 

Emily:

I was very impressed and he did send me a happy birthday text the other day.

Sage (20:58):

Very sweet.

Emily (20:59):

Big K has got men, you'll have to tune in and listen to Big K. He's got some moves.

Sage (21:05):

And he's got good advice pertaining to someone in their early fifties. So he's totally

Emily (21:11):

But we’re in our early forties, so…

Sage (21:13):

But he's not with the times of dating. He's like old school dating.

Emily (21:16):

Yeah.

Sage (21:17):

So the advice he gives us, we're like, no, that's not how it works anymore.

Emily (21:20):

He can't explain the 28 year olds.

Sage (21:21):

Yeah.

Emily (21:21):

No.

Sage:

No.

Emliy:

No. Anyway.

Sage:

But he's a hoot. 

Emily:

He is a hoot. And you will find out. So please follow along and listen up and hit subscribe, or whatever you want. Share. We're new to this and we are excited to keep telling our stories. 

Sage:

Tune in next time.

Emily:

Bye.