Divorce-ary

Cheers! In this episode, the girls pop open a bottle of champagne to celebrate Sage’s win in court representing herself against her ex husband. Listen in as Emily and Sage share the differences between their divorces. While each experience was entirely different, ultimately it brought them both profound happiness and new beginnings. Even though Sage’s ex proposed hypnosis to fall back in love, and Emily’s was groveling on the floor for her to come home (and both men thought sex would heal), the girls now celebrate their freedom and independence on the anniversary of their respective Divorce Days.  Are you divorced or separated and ready to celebrate your Divorce-ary?!  

Transcript

Sage (00:15):

Welcome Watch Me Do It fans! This is Sage with my girl, Emily. 

Emily:

Hello.

Sage:

And we're ready to dive into this episode covering the true happiness that divorce can bring you. This episode is also really appropriate since I had court yesterday with my ex regarding custody and child support, and I fucking won.

Emily (00:41):

Yes, girl!

Sage (00:42):

I won.

Emily (00:42):

Yes. We are actually having Laurent Perrier in the studio right now to celebrate Sage's win.

Sage (00:47):

Yes.

Emily (00:48):

Yes. The crowd is going wild.

Sage (00:50):

I represented myself and that piece of shit of my ex had a lawyer and I still won.

Emily (00:57):

Of course, yeah.

Sage (00:58):

So don't fuck with Sage. 

Emily:

Nope.

Sage:

I'm really proud of myself. I almost started crying about my victory right in the courtroom.

Emily (01:07):

You should have.

Sage (01:08):

And right now my ego is seriously on cloud nine and I'm not typically like that.

Emily (01:14):

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

Sage (01:15):

Or I'm like, Hey, now's the time to open that bottle of champagne and celebrate like we're doing. And I'm convinced that I have the skills already to be a lawyer without taking the bar. That's how sure of myself that I am right now.

Emily (01:30):

No, you showed that loser who's boss.

Sage (01:32):

That's right.

Emily (01:33):

Yes. Watch her do it, fans.

Sage (01:33):

Yes.

Emily:

Watch her go.

Sage:

This is another ;fuck yeah’ moment.

Emily:

 It is. 

Sage:

And this is another Watch Me Do it moment to put in our books.

Emily (01:44):

Yes. Yes. And I think there was a reason why we haven't really talked about our divorces. We talked that we are divorced, but we haven't really gone into the details. And I think it's because it was waiting. The podcast was naturally waiting for today so that we could celebrate you and your victorious moment over that fat fuck.

Sage (02:04):

Totally. And it took months to get here. I had so much paperwork to fill out without a lawyer helping me or guiding me.

Emily (02:12):

Was it sort of like in August or something when he first served you papers or whatever?

Sage (02:18):

Around that, yeah.

Emily:

Yeah.

Sage:

And it was just like I had to figure out all the forms like FL 1 35 and FL 1 55 and an MC three 10 and what does that mean? And just responding to all of it. It was a lot of hard work.

Emily (02:30):

It was.

Sage (02:31):

It's so draining.

Emily (02:32):

It took you a lot of work and all the financial statements.  And, Family, I got to serve him over and over and over. 

Sage:

Yes!  It was awesome.

Emily:

It was like she and I had to coordinate our busy schedules so that I could write out this certified mail, and half the time I would fuck it up and put the wrong name on it and I was just like, Ugh. And then he was creeping on me. He looked at my social media profiles trying to learn more about me because I was the one that was serving him. And I was like, that's right, you motherfucker.

Sage:

You bitch.

Emily:

Yeah!

Sage (03:02):

Literally yesterday when I walked out of there I was like, I just owned his fucking ass. And is he ever going to learn? No, they never do. 

Emily:

No. 

Sage:

And we're six years later?

Emily (03:12):

Yeah.

Sage (03:13):

And we're still in court about custody and money.

Emily (03:16):

Yeah. Come on.

Sage (03:17):

Come on, dude. This is - 

Emily:

Grow up. 

Sage:

This is it. You wanted the divorce.

Emily (03:19):

Well, and he spent all the money on the attorney and he's the one that made it happen and he's the loser. So, like, you know…

Sage (03:27):

What'd you expect?

Emily (03:28):

Yeah. Well yeah, it was logical too what you were trying to do, but his whole thing with you is not logical. When he first brought up divorce, it was like insanity, the stuff that he was saying to you.

Sage (03:41):

Yeah. So he came to me and said basically, I'm not in love with you anymore. I want to live an authentic life. And you can't really go back after you hear those words, of like, oh, let me try. I'm not going to be like…

Emily (03:56):

That's like dig the knife in, like stab, stab, stab as much as you can. 

Sage:

Totally. 

Emily:

That is mean.

Sage (04:01):

I'm not going to wake up every day and be like, does he love me today? I hope he loves me today. What else can I do better about him loving me?

Emily (04:07):

Especially not you. You're going to be like, fuck you.

Sage (04:09):

I'm like, okay, there's the fucking door and…

Emily (04:12):

Yeah, buh bye.

Sage (04:12):

Yeah, go live your authentic life. That's not with your children or your wife.  How does that make sense? And I'll never forget, the first thing he packs up is his bar cabinet full of his black label, red label, green label, tequila.

Emily (04:26):

The important stuff.

Sage (04:26):

Yeah, the important stuff, not the clothes. And then I just find out a couple weeks later, he's a swinger. I'm like, okay. So he's probably cheating on me the entire time. And I was so gullible. I had no idea. 

Emily:

Do you think he was? 

Sage:

I do. He traveled a ton internationally.

Emily (04:40):

Traveled. He still does that. And I've always suspected him when all of a sudden you have to take the kids because he is traveling for work. But it's a weekend.

Sage (04:49):

I know.

Emily (04:49):

And I'm like, what does this guy do? And you're like, supply chain logistics. And I'm like, okay, a weekend? It is very suspect.

Sage (04:56):

Well, at this point I don't give a fuck what he does.

Emily (04:58):

No, of course not. But it is like really that's what you're traveling for or are you traveling for sex parties? Let's be real.

Sage (05:05):

Yeah, we just looked up a sex swinging party.

Emily (05:07):

We did. We got a pro tip.

Sage (05:10):

What is it called again?

Emily (05:11):

Okay, so I'm actually intrigued to do this thing. So if there's any listeners out there that live in Los Angeles, you have to tell us if you have heard of the Play LA. It's Invite only and Sage and I got invited and it is like a swingers party, but it's classier. So it's more my style because it's like a legit play where you have to apply to get in and then you can either choose to watch the show or you're in the show and then they use bodies as art. So it actually sounds kind of cool. It's not just about, oh hey, we're going to drink and then mingle and have sex with ugly people like your husband.

Sage:

Right.

Emily (05:47):

It's like, no, it's going to be this artistic thing where they're painting on bodies and they're sculpting bodies and I don't know. I'm very intrigued. And so we got the invitation last weekend. We were at the Misfit, we met a whole bunch of new friends. Hi Misfit fans who are hopefully listening right now. They say they are. Anyway, maybe we will try the play because Sage and I, both of us have never done a swinger party. And I feel like in this moment with you being like, fuck you to your ex. You totally should, to be like, you can do it. I can do it. Watch me go.  You know?

Sage (06:18):

Well, I would be open to watching first.

Emily (06:22):

Yeah, of course.

Sage (06:23):

And kind seeing what’s…

Emily (06:24):

Easing your way into it.

Sage (06:25):

Yeah, perhaps.

Emily (06:26):

Yeah.  I'm all about it. 

Sage (06:27):

But then I don't know if I want to be a low person. I think so low of my ex.

Emily:

You don't want to be on the stage.  

Sage:

No.

Emily:

Oh.

Sage:

That I don't know if I want to be a swinger like he does because I just think so negatively and low. 

Emily:

You have a bad vibe from it. 

Sage:

Exactly.  Yeah.

Emily (06:42):

Well maybe that's why this one will be, because this is a different vibe than your ex.

Sage (06:47):

We’ll go watch and just, we'll check it out.

Emily (06:50):

We’ll have fun.  

Sage:

Yeah.  Why not? 

Emily (06:54):

Yeah!  We’ll report back, fans. But! So, okay, so one of the biggest differences, so as everybody knows out there, both Sage and I are divorced. For me, actually, this podcast has helped me kind of embrace that word. For the longest time I thought it was a terrible, terrible word and it felt like a scarlet letter across my forehead. And I used to hate labeling. I felt like a label that I was this divorcee. Like I failed at  something so basic, so critical to human success is that you're married, you have their family, and instead I was divorced. And it was such a hard thing for me to embrace. But that's one thing that the two of us early on bonded about. And obviously that's what our show is about is, okay, what happens after your divorce? How do you start new chapters and how do you come about it? But our divorces were very different but also very similar at the same time. So Sage's husband, as she just mentioned, went after her and was basically like I'm out. I'm done. And I was the one that did that to my husband and I left my husband and he was the one that was on his knees, literally in the kitchen holding my legs, begging me to come back home. And I was like, hell fucking no, I'm out.

Sage (08:10):

No. But once my ex said that he was leaving me, I was like, hell fucking no, we're done.

Emily (08:16):

You put the nail in the coffin.

Sage (08:17):

Oh yeah. He wanted to still hook up and still kiss and hug me.

Emily (08:23):

Oh my God. They always do.

Sage (08:24):

And I was like, get the fuck, no, I want nothing to do with you ever again.

Emily (08:29):

Well, after someone says that to you, it's like, yeah, literally

Sage (08:31):

It’s heart wrenching.

Emily (08:32):

You do not deserve the trophy of a woman that you are. If he's going to toss you aside, then he's the piece of garbage that doesn't get to come back. 

Sage:

Exactly. 

Emily:

Like absolutely not.

Sage (08:42):

And I also shook hands with the fact that, hey, I'm already sad. And if I started hooking up with him, it was just going to make me more sad because we're not together anymore.

Emily (08:53):

And it's such a massive, confusing feeling.

Sage (08:56):

So that emotional element, I was like, shut it down, it is done, and I am better than him and I don't want his fucking ass again.

Emily (09:02):

Well, what's really interesting is so Tarot Lady, so if everybody remembers, if you go back to our episodes about that idiot Andrew, who I no longer talk to, and we went to Tarot Lady, my Venice Beach Tarot Lady. Your reading, she talked about your divorce, he came up in your cards and she had a very interesting perspective on the whole thing.

Sage (09:23):

She did. She said that I essentially pushed him away and I agree with it.

Emily (09:29):

Because you were like, no, no, my husband divorced me. And she was like, no, the cards say that you actually created the situation because you wanted out.

Sage (09:38):

And she was right.

Emily (09:39):

Isn't that interesting?

Sage (09:40):

But I wasn't being intentional with it.

Emily (09:42):

No, it was your subconscious coming out.

Sage (09:43):

Exactly. And so when he would be like, oh, I'm going to go travel, and I'd be like, bye. Or he'd be like, I'm going to go play basketball and then go fishing and, you know, bye bye. I never gave a shit. And when he would come home, I would not walk up to him with a big hug and a kiss. I missed you. How are you? I was like, oh, you're home again. Oh, you're traveling again. Oh, you're back again. So it was very,

Emily (10:08):

It was like you shedding the dead weight of your life.

Sage (10:10):

Yeah. And I guess I wasn't warm and stroking his ego. And as we know, he's a narcissist and I just wasn't playing into that shit anymore. And I guess I did not intentionally, but somehow pushed it away and he got the message.

Emily (10:27):

I think that happens in all of divorce though, because kind of what happened to me, it was not a conscious thought when I left my husband. So after I did that, I had all these friends come out of the woodwork being like, oh my God, I'm thinking about getting a divorce too. Tell me about it, blah, blah, blah, blah. And my response was always like, you don't think about it. It's not something you consciously think about or plan. For me, it was literally, it was the same thing. It was subconscious and what happened with me, so there was this Mahatma Gandhi quote that I absolutely love that I read at the time that I decided I was going to leave my husband. And it is “happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony”. And that just resonated so deeply with me and it still does.

(11:09):

And so the way I interpreted it is like your head (what you think), your heart, and your gut are all kind of lined up and they're all saying the same thing. I think particularly as women, our heads and our hearts are never in agreement and they're all over the place and we're overthinking everything. And it's like the head's saying one thing and then the heart says another, and then your friends say something else and then your gut's over here and you're like, ah. And it's like this chaos that happens in our world every day. But for me it was literally click, click, click all three were like, you want happiness? Because I was deeply unhappy, deeply, and I didn't even recognize myself or the life that I wanted. And all three of them were like, you want your happiness? Go. Run. Go.

Sage (11:49):

You had to sync it up.

Emily:

And I left.

Sage:

You sink the mind, the heart,

Emily (11:51):

But then what ended up happening was he ended up divorcing me, which was a fun fact that you didn't know until I shared that. I was like, I left him. But I wanted to kind of explore a different type of relationship. I was open to being like, Hey, I don't want to be divorced. I'm not necessarily ready to get rid of this relationship that we've had for six years, but at its current state, I can't survive the way it looks like right now. I need to explore a different type of relationship. I need the space and the time to find me and get me back and find my own happiness. And that doesn't mean that I'm throwing you to the wayside or I want to get a divorce. But he was so black and white. He was like, either you come home and you're my wife and we resume life as it was or we're divorced, one or the other. And I remember yelling at him, it's not that black and white, relationships are not that black and white. And he said, yes it is. And he was literally yelling at me and he cornered me and he was like, what is it? And I said, fine, divorce. And we got a divorce, but it was him.

Sage (12:48):

This is interesting because I would've been more like your ex. No, it's black and white. You come home, you'd be married to me, this is it. And my ex, I'm sure would've been like, Hey, let's play around. Do you want to experiment?

Emily (12:58):

Well, yours was more like he wanted to cheat with permission. He wanted to be a swinger and have this life while still being a dad with kids. Then that doesn't work. I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't like, oh, I want to go hook up with this other dude. It wasn't like that. It was just more like I've lost myself in this world. I let his life and his world absorb me completely and I lost recognition of who I was and I was incredibly lonely. The loneliest I've ever been was in my marriage.

Sage (13:27):

I was really lonely in my marriage as well, but I did not let him absorb me in such a way where I didn't feel like I was myself anymore. And I always worked. I always stayed independent.

Emily (13:40):

That's good. That's what you need to do, ladies do that. Because I lost myself completely.

Sage (13:43):

But I remember even after the divorce, I still felt even more lonely and I was also mourning and grieving. It's literally like a death. 

Emily:

It is. 

Sage:

It's a death.

Emily (13:53):

It is. And I was the one, so even though I was the one that left my husband when we went to court, same thing. He had a lawyer. His lawyer was actually a friend of mine. I was like, are you serious?

Sage (14:03):

Oh my God.

Emily (14:03):

He literally hired my friend, not his friend, my friend to be his lawyer, and I didn't have one either.  And I couldn't even get a word out edgewise anyway.  We don't have kids, so that's a big difference. So that it was pretty straightforward. He and I agreed pretty easily in terms of assets and how we were going to split those things up.

Sage (14:22):

Right.

Emily (14:23):

It really helped that I waived all the alimony.  That helped because he was going to fight me over that. And I was like, just take it. I was like, I don't want your money. That's how badly I wanted out.

Sage (14:31):

You were only married for two years. You were going to get a ton of alimony anyways.

Emily (14:35):

No, but I mean now I'm like, oh shit, I could use that money. I'm like, Emily, what the fuck were you thinking? But that's how badly I wanted out. I was like, take your money, take everything. I just need to get out. And my court day, I couldn't stop crying. Tears are just streaming, constantly pouring out of my eyelids. I don't think I ever cried like that ever in my life. And I was just sobbing and sobbing and sobbing and my friend must have felt like a piece of shit sitting on the other side of the aisle. I hope she did. We're not friends anymore obviously. And he's sitting there and I was so heartbroken, even though “I did it”, quote unquote. I was the one that caused the whole thing and it still broke my heart. I was still grieving it. 

Sage:

Interesting.

Emily:

As a loss. Oh yeah.

Sage (15:18):

Yeah. Here's another crazy fucking tip on my ex. So in order to pretend to go through the stages of “saving the marriage”, quote unquote, we did go to standard therapy, right? Because the courts want you to go through therapy and they ask you that actually before the dissolution.

Emily (15:34):

Oh yeah. We did. And then we got fired by our therapist.

Sage (15:38):

But it was - you got fired by your therapist. 

Emily:

We did, it was so bad. 

Sage:

It's like the Tarot card lady firing me in the middle of my reading.

Emily (15:42):

No, he was literally like, nothing's going to help you. You're done. Bye.

Sage (15:44):

But one time, okay, here's a kicker. My ex suggested to me perhaps he should get hypnosis to fall back in love with me. 

Emily:

Cute. 

Sage:

I was like, don't fucking bother. That is so low.

Emily (16:01):

Oh my God. So if this was now…

Sage (16:03):

That is so disrespectful to me.

Emily (16:04):

It is. But if this was now, we would make him do it just to watch what happens.

Sage:

You're right. You're right.  Test it out.

Emily:

I want to be in the room. I'd want to watch him be hypnotic.

Sage:

Should I text him and be like, 

Emily:

How does it feel now? How does it feel now, fat fuck?  How does it feel now?

Sage (16:16):

Maybe I text him and be like, I know I won at court yesterday, but you want to go back to hypnosis and see if you can fall back in love with me again after what I did to you yesterday?  

Emily (16:24):

Oh my God, you should.  Okay. So one of my favorite things about Sage is that to this day, she gives so much sass to her ex. She sasses him left and right. And so she probably will text him that later. I am not joking people, but he eats it up. He loves it.

Sage (16:40):

Well, first he tries to intimidate me and bully me. I know his whole mantra. 

Emily:

It's a dance that you guys have been doing for years.

Sage:

Exactly. So he'll intimidate, bully me, ‘don’t you know that this is the law and this is how it's going to go at court’. And I'm like, fuck you. I'm not even sweating this shit. I am showing up by myself. You know what I am. Don't even worry about whatever advice you're getting from your lawyer because the shit that you're spewing to me right now makes no fucking sense. How does his lawyer even sleep at night?

Emily (17:10):

That's what I thought. Every time I would serve her papers, I'd be like, bitch, what is wrong with you?

Sage (17:14):

Yeah.

Emily (17:14):

Why would you represent somebody like this?

Sage (17:16):

Wait a second. He wanted sole custody of my son, but only 50-50 of my daughter and not pay me child support. I'm like, what are you talking about?

Emily (17:25):

But what didn't he want nothing to do with your daughter at first? At first it was like he only wanted your son and not your daughter. And it was like, how does that work?

Sage (17:31):

Well, it was a money ploy. Because he owes me back child support and alimony.

Emily (17:35):

And then he backed off and did 50-50 probably because she gave him shit for it.

Sage (17:39):

Right.

Emily (17:39):

Because she's like you.  This girl does not fall far from the mama tree.

Sage (17:44):

No, my daughter is me. Yes.

Emily (17:45):

She gives him as much shit as you do the poor man.

Sage (17:50):

yes. Oh my God. So anyways, he's asking for ridiculous things that would never come true because you literally have to be homeless living in a tent on the sidewalk with a heroin needle in your arm to lose custody of your kids here in the State of California. 

Emily:

That's true. 

Sage:

Or not be awarded 50-50. That is just generally speaking, everybody gets 50-50.

Emily (18:10):

It's ludicrous.

Sage (18:11):

Unless there's a huge fucking problem going on.

Emily (18:14):

Right.

Sage:

And so what an idiot.

Emily:

And his problem was that your daughter didn't have an apartment to go home to when you were evacuated from mold and then the biggest wildfire in LA history. It's like, bro, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Sage (18:25):

It's like our daughter is staying at friend's houses. And I'm like, yeah,

Emily (18:30):

During a wildfire.

Sage (18:32):

And during mold, we don't want her in the house. It's not safe. It's not good for her wellbeing.

Emily (18:37):

And isn't that what the judge said anyway? The judge was like, no, you are caring for your child as best you possibly can give in these crazy fucking circumstances.

Sage (18:44):

Circumstances. Absolutely. So again, it was just he owes me money and he's trying to figure out a way to get out of it.

Emily (18:51):

And now it's like boom, you are going to pay her money every month, asshole.

Sage (18:55):

Yep. And it's still 50-50, but I suspect he'll file something again on a later date.

Emily (19:02):

Do you think he's that stupid?

Sage (19:05):

He never learns.

Emily:

Wow. 

Sage:

But I don't mind the game. I got a lot of practice being lawyer and I won.

Emily (19:09):

You did enjoy it. You really did. 

Sage (19:11):

Yeah. Do you know how many times you saw me grinning from ear to ear? 

Emily:

I did see you grinning.

Sage:

Because it would excite the fuck out of me. And it wasn't even about sex, it was about… 

Emily (19:18):

This mother fucker going down.

Sage:

Making my ex pay for it.

Emily (19:21):

Yeah. So friends. So I think when you get a divorce these days, there's really one of two responses. It's either like, I am so sorry and it's this heartbreaking thing. Or it's like, congratulations, you got your freedom!

Sage:

We’re celebrating!

Emily:

Get rid of that asshole. Look at you go!  Now you can watch whatever you want on Netflix. There's nobody trying to control you. There’s no man that's body shaming you. He's not expecting you to pick up his laundry or after poker night with the boys, which was my life. And so I have coined that you have a Divorce Day, right? And my Divorce Day like I just mentioned I was bawling my eyes out. I was a puddle. It was terrible. It was the worst day of my life, was my Divorce Day. But one year later I was like, holy shit, I've made it a year. And this has honestly been the best year of my life because I saw the flower that blooms after the divorce. And so we celebrate now Divorce-ary, and I think all of you out there should celebrate your Divorce-ary. Whether it was a congratulations or it was, I'm sorry. I still think it's an achievement that if you've made it one year, two years, three years and you are post-divorce, and you are healing and you are recovering and you are starting your new chapter and you were putting one foot in front of the other, whether he left you or you left him or whatever happened, or she left you or she left him, whatever. Same thing with the men. It's like you need to go out and you need to live up your Divorce-ary big. And I will forever love my girlfriends back in Boston because we did Divorce-ary. I had pink balloons, we got bottles of champagne. The waiters used to think it was my birthday. It was like I was turning 30 again and they would bring us free desserts and we would go nuts on Divorce-ary.

Sage (21:00):

That's cute.

Emily (21:01):

So, this year I think we both deserve a Divorce-ary celebration.  For sure.

Sage (21:06):

I like that. One of my really close mom friends always says to me around my divorce time, the annual anniversary of being divorced.

Emily:

Divorce-ary!

Sage:

She says, look how far you've come.

Emily (21:17):

Exactly.

Sage (21:19):

And it's six years later. And I'll tell you what I have learned that he did me a favor by leaving. 

Emily:

Yes.

Sage:

He really did. I wouldn't have had the guts to do it because I wanted to be like that Midwestern way where, you know, how I was raised that mom and dad and husband and wife stay together for 50 something years.

Emily (21:36):

Yeah, my parents.

Sage (21:37):

Exactly. And I love that dream till death do us part. And now I'm like, Emily's right. We're not penguins. We're not supposed to be with the same mate for the rest of your life.

Emily (21:48):

No. I mean maybe it's for some people, there's nothing against that. 

Sage:

I think it's beautiful. I do.

Emily:

I think it's beautiful with my parents too, but I tried it. Not for me, but you're right, me leaving my husband was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And I've done some hard shit.  That took a phenomenal amount of courage that I didn't even know I had. And I don't know where it came from. I always just say that's how unhappy I was, was I was able to do that and walk away from everything. And I think it's worth celebrating.

Sage (22:21):

I also learned that pussy really is power. I mean, your ex and my ex both had the nerves to come back to us..

Emily (22:30):

Asking for sex.

Sage (22:31):

Thereafter the fact. 

Emily:

Yes. 

Sage:

Like what the fuck?

Emily (22:33):

Like they're still entitled to our bodies.

Sage (22:36):

Exactly. No, nope. 

Emily:

No. 

Sage:

And obviously I shake that right off the bat. My ex even said to me after the divorce, if we had sex, we would be better at co-parenting our kids. I'm like, really? You think I'm going to believe that? How does that work? How low and stupid do you think that I am that, oh, if we just hook up and have sex, we're going to be better at parenting together with our children.

Emily (23:04):

I am not putting those together. I'm not sure about his thread there, but -

Sage:

Desperation. 

Emily:

My ex used sex as control. It was very obvious. Even at the time when I was grieving and I was vulnerable, it was so obvious that he was trying to get, because I took the power and I took the control and I left him and I broke his heart. And honestly, that's for me, that is the worst thing is I never ever wanted to hurt him and I never wanted to hurt anybody. I was just trying to save myself. And there were some victims. Him. He was a victim along the way and he could have won a fucking Oscar for how well he played the victim to all of our friends. Yeah, he's a fucking, anyway, so it was his way of getting some control back because he realized that I took all the power and he had no control and he had no control over me. And he was like, where's she going? What's she doing? Who is this person? This is not the woman I married. This is not the wife that I want. And I was like, no, it's not motherfucker. This is why I'm out.

(24:07):

This is who I really am. Watch me go. And he used sex and tried to bring me back by using that sex as a power. But to your point, the pussy is the power.

Sage (24:20):

Well, and it's also on their behalf another way or tactic to manipulate us.

Emily (24:26):

Yes.

Sage (24:27):

And…

Emily:

But that's where it's like you and I, especially me.

Sage (24:29):

No, it's not going to fucking happen. 

Emily:

You guys know me at this place, I can go months in a dick drought. I don't need you motherfuckers. 

Sage:

Exactly. 

Emily:

Take your penis away from me.

Sage (24:37):

Well, and I think individually our characters have changed significantly since our divorces.

Emily (24:43):

Oh well, yes.  Yes. And our next episode is going to go all into that about how we got our mojo back, girl. But it took some time.

Sage (24:49):

It did. It did. But time does heal. I know it's cliche.

Emily (24:53):

We say it all the time, but it’s true.  

Sage (24:54):

But I've been through a lot of hardships and time has healed. So anyways, thanks for listening in. 

Emily:

Congratulations again, Sage. 

Sage:

Thank you. Thank you. I'm a badass. And if you want to hire me to represent you, I'm not a formal lawyer, but I will charge half the price.

Emily (25:12):

She'll go after your ex any day.

Sage (25:14):

I would love it. I love the challenge. And those guys can fuck off. And us girls own that shit.

Emily (25:20):

Yes, we do.

Sage (25:20):

So thank you for listening in, and if you're divorced and you're feeling lonely or you need support, Emily and I are here for you, if you want to write in.

Emily:

Please do. 

Sage:

Yeah.

Emily:

We'd love to hear from you. 

Sage:

We have grown since then and maybe we can shed some advice and,

Emily (25:35):

Yeah we'd love to, we’d love to.  So send us a message.

Sage (25:37):

We’re here for you. Yeah, we're here for you. So have a good one. And until next week, we'll see you on Tuesday. 

Emily:

We'll see you. Cheers. 

Sage:

Cheers. Bye.