Mojo is Magical

In this episode, the ladies share their fabulous and hilarious stories of how they got their mojo back after divorce, and years afterward of toxic relationships and heart-wrenching breakups.  They've learned that it's not about getting your hair done, going to yoga, or sitting in a bubble bath.  Mojo is a mindset.  It is encompassing of all the magic and power in life and applies to all relationships and situations - not just those with a romantic partner.  

Transcript

Emily (00:16):

What is up, Watch Me Do It fans and friends all over the world. This is Emily, your co-host here on Watch Me Do It, recording again for our weekly drop with my best friend, Sage.  Would you like to say hello, Sage?

Sage (00:28):

Of course. We love our fans. Hello. Thank you for joining on this Tuesday drop. Please keep coming in with the comments and the love and support.

Emily (00:37):

Yes, yes!

Sage (00:38):

We are looking to talk back and give commentary to other people that have written in.

Emily (00:45):

Yes, and that is what this episode is about. So this is a shout out to Deb. Deb, thank you so much for messaging us. We know it's been a little while now, but we definitely wanted to engage with you and answer your question of how to get your mojo back after a toxic relationship. And Sage and I are experts at toxic relationships with ex narcissists.

Sage (01:09):

And listen, whether that's getting your mojo back between a girlfriend breakup or a divorce.

Emily (01:15):

Or a job.

Sage (01:16):

Yes.

Emily (01:16):

Which has been my problem.

Sage:

Me too, honey. 

Emily:

Over and over again.

Sage (01:19):

Or a boyfriend breakup. 

Emily:

Whatever.

Sage:

There's so many different instances of getting that mojo back.

Emily (01:23):

And I think it's really hard too. I think it's like you find that vibe and you're like vibing high, and then people want to just bring you down. And it's really, really difficult of how do I keep my vibe high? How do I let it go? How do I remove things from my life that no longer serve me? And how do I just groove through the day? And let me tell you, Deb, that this one was actually really hard for me. One of the reasons why we haven't addressed your question in so many episodes is because I didn't know. I seriously looked at Sage and I was like, do I have mojo? Do I? I guess I do have mojo, but how did I get it back? And it took a while for both of us to really,

Sage (02:01):

We needed time to reflect on that question.

Emily (02:03):

We had to reflect.  We had to think about it. We had to dig back into our memories and we had to really think about how do you do that? Because it is challenging.  It's not easy. 

Sage (02:13):

Correct. And a lot of times on facade it'll be like, go get your hair done or go get a massage.

Emily (02:20):

No, we're not talking bubble baths and yoga, ladies.  No.

Sage (02:21):

Right. I mean, that is just an everyday thing for us.

Emily (02:24):

It won’t happen.  Yeah.  

Sage (02:25):

But overall, what's the bigger picture of getting your mojo back. And that's what we want to talk about today.

Emily (02:29):

And mojo… so I did a lot of Googling on even what that means and what that word is because as you guys know, I'm the nerd here. And so I was doing the research and I found this amazing quote from this man named Robert Gen, who I don't even know who that is, but he says, “while mojo suggests any art that invokes supernatural powers, for us creators mojovation means finding magic in what we do.”

Sage (02:53):

That's deep.

Emily (02:54):

I loved that. That resonated so much with me because when I was trying to be like, when we get your comment, it's like, okay, toxic ex, yes, I can resonate. I got content for days about my toxic exes, but mojo. I was like, I don't even know what that means. And when this came about, I was like, yes. It's finding, it's finding magic. It's finding magic within you. It's finding the magic in the world. It's finding the magic in your life. And it's really like that groove, like I was saying I am here living my best life. I am vibing high, like I was saying. And how do you actually achieve that?

Sage (03:34):

Well, it doesn't necessarily have to do with men. I think that's what's so confusing. Most women are like, oh, I got my mojo back because someone liked me back or asked me out for a date.

Emily (03:43):

Yeah, I got heart on my Instagram post.

Sage (03:45):

Yeah. But I feel, and I know that you're on the same wavelength in this instance, is that opportunity with work gives us mojo back or making a new friend period, whether it's a male or a female, what have you, but connecting with people, it gives me and you our mojo back. 

Emily (04:03):

I would say that's true. Yeah. That connection, genuine connection.

Sage (04:05):

Correct. It's not necessarily about a dude asking you out and going out and feeling loved or fake loved whatever. But that's typically what women lean toward - their hair done, a massage, and a dude giving them attention.

Emily (04:22):

And I would say that, I think that's part of how I got my mojo back was that I did not jump right back into a dude's arms.  And I didn’t,

Sage (04:32):

Yeah, because you were single for 13 months.

Emily (04:34):

No, that was my dick drought. That was my longest dick drought. I've been single for three and a half years bitch. 

Sage:

That’s right. Damn. 

Emily:

Let's get this straight. My last relationship and even after when, so take a step back. Those of you that are new that are listening, Sage and I are both divorced. Listen to the last episode, Divorce-ary where we talk a little bit about it and how they were different, but then they were also very similar. This is a perfect follow on because after you're divorced, for those of you that are not divorced or not even married, it's like a divorce is the biggest breakup you will ever go through. It's like a breakup on steroids. It is so painful and so difficult. At least it was for me and I'm the one that left him. That was the whole punchline of the last episode. And it's so challenging to kind of rebuild, redefine yourself. Who are you as a single identity? Who are you?  Even for women I think it even goes to, do I change my name back? Do I not? Do I keep his name? Do I go? That's my pro tip. So ladies out there, if you're getting married, do not change your name. Just keep your original name. It keeps things so simple.

Sage (05:47):

Which is what Sage did.

Emily (05:49):

Yeah. You're smarter than I was. I am an idiot. But anyway, so I instantly went into my next relationship, which I think a lot of people do, especially through a divorce or a breakup like that. You instantly try to find another man to fill that void.

Sage (06:03):

Yes.

Emily:

And for me, that relationship was unbelievably toxic. It was so bad. He was like a vulture on my vulnerabilities. And I cried every day for a year. I was trying to navigate this divorce and this breakup. I had this other man who I was leaning on for support and emotional support and love. He said he loved me. Turns out he didn't, whatever. And it was just like I was so crushed by this. And I think eventually when I was reflecting back on this to be like, wait a minute, I've come so far. How did I get my mojo back?

Sage (06:38):

But wait a second. The other aspect of it is that they see that you're vulnerable and then they dive in for that.

Emily (06:45):

They love it.

Sage (06:46):

Of course.

Emily:

Men are able to seek it out.

Sage:

Because you know why?  They can power, they have that power trip again because you're vulnerable. 

Emily:

They have that power.  This is the toxic man.  

Sage:

Then they swoop in.

Emily (06:53):

Not all men are like this, we know them, men, we love you, but this is the toxic relationship. And it can go both ways. Women can do this too.

Sage:

Of course.

Emily:

Toxic where you sniff out the person's vulnerability and you take advantage of it for your own gain and you kind of use and abuse them. And it's very difficult to move on.

Sage (07:10):

Well, because being divorced, newly divorced, of course you're already in a very meek situation where your heart is just on the line for anyone to accept and take on. And they know it's a game. It's a cat and mouse game.

Emily (07:25):

They love it. They love it.  Yeah.  And this man was so horrible to me. I was thinking back, it was like, yeah, I think it was almost an entire year that I cried every single day. This is when I was going to the office for work and my colleagues had put, we had this little quiet room, which was supposed to be for breastfeeding mothers and people to pray and things like that. But I used it to cry and they even put tissues in there. It was actually pretty sweet. My team was like

Sage (07:46):

That is sweet, considerate.

Emily (07:47):

They knew what I was going through and they were like, just go cry in the closet. And I had this really good guy friend who would take me out and I would end up waterworks at the bar and he would be passing me napkins. And every single person, the bar would be looking at him like, you douchebag. What did you do to her? And so he had to talk to me about it. He was like, you need to stop because this is making me look bad.

Sage (08:08):

Reflecting on him negatively looking bad.

Emily (08:10):

Yeah. And so eventually I was just kind of like, you know what? You're all sick of me crying. I'm sick of me crying. I got tired of it. I was like, I'm so tired of this pity story. This woe is me, this victimhood, this oh, I'm so sad. I was just like, this is a waste of my time.

Sage (08:31):

You know, I never felt like, listen, I was definitely defeated after my divorce, but I didn't entirely lose my mojo. I was still young. I was 37 years old. I was naturally very,

Emily (08:44):

I was 36.

Sage (08:45):

Oh.

Emily:

Oh my god, girl.  We didn’t know that.

Sage:

We didn't even know that. I was naturally skinny because I couldn't eat because my emotions.

Emily (08:53):

You were on the depot diet. Remember my depot diet?

Sage (08:55):

Yes. 

Emily (08:55):

That's what you were on. Yeah.

Sage (08:56):

Not only was I not eating because I was just so frightened, stressed out. I also got a tummy tuck in addition. So I'm super skinny. I was down probably, when I was married I think I was 143.

Emily (09:09):

Okay.  Healthy.

Sage (09:11):

Yeah, healthy fine. But I'm five two, I'm very petite. And then by the time tummy tuck, divorce happens and then I can't eat, I'm stressed out. I got down to 132. So it was a big deal. But I ended up moving to Agoura Hills, which is a very neighborhood cozy feel.

Emily (09:31):

In the valley.

Sage (09:31):

Yes. Extremely different than Santa Monica City. And I kind of went back to my original roots from when I was 20 years old and had initially moved to California with my girlfriends.

Emily (09:43):

Interesting. So you went back and legit started over.

Sage (09:47):

Correct. And it was kind of my safe haven of home. My auntie also lives in Calabasas, which is like bordering Agoura, bordering Westlake. Everything I was kind of familiar with, but the weird twist to it was that now I'm divorced and 37. The last time I lived this Agoura life, I was like 22 with girlfriends. So I reverted back and then,

Emily (10:12):

Weren't you like, wow, things have changed.

Sage (10:14):

Oh yeah. But I'm still hanging out at the same places and the same clubs that I used to went to you know, like 12, 15 years ago. And so that was weird. I was like, I remember when I was young and super hot and shaking my ass on the fucking stage with the band at Canyon Club.

Emily (10:28):

But this is the mojo is that now you're older, but you're still super hot and you're shaking your ass at the Canyon Club.

Sage (10:33):

Yes! And then that's where I'm meeting my friends, my dudes, what have you. And, you know,

Emily (10:39):

So there's something to be said about that though. It's like you didn't stay at home and say, oh, I'm too old now. Oh, I'm divorced now.  Oh I’m whatever.

Sage:

There you go. That's true. 

Emily:

You were like, fuck this shit. I'm just as hot and great as I was when I'm in my twenties.

Sage (10:50):

Yes. Just meeting a different genre of age.

Emily (10:54):

Yeah, but you owned it.  

Sage (10:54):

I did. I tried.

Emily:

And had fun. 

Sage:

I did. And the best part of it was that in my six month stay, my house was super cute. Three bedroom, yard, and a pool. This was like Playboy mansion turned to divorcee mansion. But girl style. 

Emily:

Okay, there we go, girls. 

Sage:

Yes. It was so hot.

Emily (11:16):

Yes.  Yes.

Sage (11:17):

And I had my girlfriends.

Emily (11:19):

You're like the Hugh Hefner of divorced women.  Yes!

Sage (11:21):

Yes!  Girlfriends over, men, friends over, we're naked swimming together. We're drinking all day. They're on drugs or they're doing whatever the fuck. My brother, I once caught at 2:30 in the morning on Molly with his girlfriend, skinny dipping.

Emily (11:33):

My God. Meanwhile, I'm on the floor crying and my friends are FaceTiming being like, stop crying, stop crying, stop crying. Sage is like raging her face off.

Sage (11:41):

Yes.  And I love sunbathing as it is, so I'm like super tan, no tan lines because I'm always naked. I have my friends over. And it was just like anything fucking goes. And no one's going to tell me. Like you said in another episode, what to watch on Netflix. Yes. This was my moment of you can't tell me that I can be topless nude, had a drink by 1:00 PM and everyone's here to enjoy and have fun. And it was just freedom. Fucking freedom.

Emily (12:08):

Seriously. Honestly, I think that's one of the big things about mojo is just really grounding yourself in first of all, your self-awareness. I think that's huge. And we've seen that. We've seen that with our friends who bring our vibe down, who are not, they're lost their mojo. It's like they're just not aware. They're not, they're not, What are the real failures? What are the shortcomings? What are you sad about? And I think both you and I did do that. We embraced the sadness. We allowed ourselves those moments of we feel this, this is raw, this is real. But then we don't do the pity party and we're kind of like, okay, you know what? We also have these beautiful things in our lives and we also have these reasons to celebrate and have fun, and we have these strengths that are beautiful inside and out, and we're going to fucking elevate those and bring those to the forefront and really celebrate ourselves with our people who support us to bring those out. Knowing that we also, that we're not perfect.

Sage (13:07):

Well, I always like to focus on next steps, baby steps, next steps. 

Emily:

Yes.  One day at a time.

Sage (13:13):

New goals. 

Emily:

So my bestie in Miami, she's always said this to me, I actually said this to you, I think in the last year when you were grieving something, I don't know, it was like one day at a time. It was like just take one day at a time and before you know it, it's like one day turns into one week, turns into one month, and then you're celebrating your Divorce-ary. Like look at me go.

Sage (13:29):

And then turns into one year and then you're a totally different person than you were 8 to 12 months ago. 

Emily:

100%.

Sage:

I will say this, when I first met you, Emily, I was so taken back by the fact of how much therapy you've had and how much advice. I felt like I didn't have to go see a therapist once I met you because you had it all. You have seen therapy for how many years after your divorce and your self worth,

Emily:

Too many.

Sage:

And your opinions and advice, suggestions. I was like, this girl knows her shit. How I think I'm a lawyer because I just won my court case. You could be a therapist and you don't even have to go to school for it.

Emily (14:11):

Thank you. Thank you!  Well, what's funny fans is that this podcast actually started because it was kind of therapy. We didn't mean for it to be a thing. 

Sage:

Yes. It just panned out this way. 

Emily:

Here's the thing, and thank you very much. We’re really enjoying it and keep it coming, but at the same time, we literally just loved coming here to our cozy little studio and talking about this shit to each other because it was therapeutic. But yes, you're right. I was never a believer in therapy. I just didn't, I don't know. I just thought it was not for me. I thought it was a weakness. I thought it was these pansy crying in the back.

Sage (14:44):

Like another downfall of yours is that I'm in therapy.

Emily (14:48):

But my mother, so my mother grew up, she was born in 1950, so she went to high school in the sixties. She was a cheerleader, total Type A perfect, perfect, perfect. She's the one with the Christmas card about how perfect we all are every year. She married the handsome guy from college. They've been married for 50 something years. Everything's perfect. So in her world, the fact that her daughter left her husband, it was like, I lost my mind. Something was wrong with this woman. Something has to go. You are nuts. She was even texting my best friends, being like, please talk to her. She's sick. She needs to go to a mental hospital. She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that I would leave a husband. What was I thinking? My husband is my everything, you know?. And so she, in order to get her to shut the fuck up, I went to see a therapist because she literally was like, please do it. Please do it. And she would not get off me. So I said, okay, fine, I'll go to a therapist. And I ended up with that therapist, to your point, for six years.  Six years.

Sage (15:48):

I can tell you're super informative about how to deal with these boys, these bros, these men.

Emily (15:54):

She literally, it was really, really healthy for me because in our very first session she was like, you're a people pleaser and you need to stop. You're being a doormat for your husband.

Sage (16:05):

Most women are though. We're people pleasers.

Emily (16:08):

We are. 

Sage:

Yes. 

Emily:

But that's where that self-awareness part comes in. So I hated her at first and I was like, bitch, how dare you say these things? You don't know me, you're judging. And I used to prep for my therapy sessions and I would put on a show.

Speaker 3 (16:23):

Ok, like acting?

Emily (16:24):

And it totally defeats the purpose. I would be like, well, this is what I want my therapist to think about me. So I don't want her to think I'm such a shit show. And it was so dumb. And that's probably part of the reason I was there for six years because it took me forever to just be like, this is what's happening. And we ended up getting in a huge - talk about breakup. We'll talk about that in a future episode. I had a bad breakup with my therapist.

Sage (16:44):

Wait, wait, wait. But your first therapist between your ex.

Emily:

My only one. I've only one. 

Sage:

No, no, no.  No.  The one that you and your ex had that basically fired your asses.

Emily:

Oh, our couple’s therapist.

Sage:

And was like there is nothing you can do to fix this.

Emily (16:56):

Our couple’s therapist fired us. Yes. We went for two sessions and he was like, yeah, no, you're done. And that's when my mother was freaking out. So then I went to my therapist who,

Sage (17:05):

So your track record of therapy is already on the fritz so to speak.  

Emily (17:09):

Yeah, because I wasn't a believer. I wasn't into it. I was not talking to this strange man about my issues with my marriage. Who the fuck are you? I need to be able to just talk to my husband about this stuff.

Sage (17:18):

Or a girlfriend.

Emily (17:19):

But I also was dead set that I was like, no, I'm done. I'm leaving. I'm done. This is bad. This is unhealthy. I'm out. I don't care what you say to me, strange man, I'm out. But yeah, no, you're right. Therapy. It really, really, really helped me have that self-awareness of like - it was tough love. It was tough love. But she taught me what boundaries meant. I had no idea what that word even meant. It took me multiple sessions to be like, every time she says, you need to do a boundary. I was like, what do you mean by that? What do you mean boundary? What's that? I put boundaries on you all the time, Sage. It's like now I'm like, boundary ninja. Here we go. Don't you cross me.

Sage (17:57):

Yes. I love that too. You're my boss. Go for it, girl. I've got too many other things going on here. But what I will say is that when I first met you and all of your advice to me about relationships and men definitely all came from your therapy, but now you taught me so well that I feel like I'm giving you back that same information.

Emily:

Yeah.  You are.

Sage:

Because you’re now kind of dating online and a couple apps and a few people, and you're like, well, I think this about him. And maybe he's not. 

Emily:

I know.

Sage:

But what if he is? And then I'm trying to bring this back full circle of like, no, no, you taught me initially and I'm giving you the same advice and opinions back that you would've said to me a year ago.

Emily (18:38):

Yes.

Sage (18:39):

And I'm like, put yourself in check right now, bitch. You already know the answer,

Emily (18:42):

So Deb, get your mirror. Get your tribe. Get your mirror. Where's this person that's going to throw the shit right back at you, whether it's a therapist or a best friend or whoever. Yeah. That mirror, that accountability partner really to be like, what the fuck bitch? What are you doing? And not all girlfriends are like that. A lot of girlfriends are enablers in the wrong way.

Sage (19:00):

Well, you know why?  They get offended, it becomes dramatic. And then you're not friends.

Emily (19:04):

Or they just don't know. They're just like, oh, you need to get back with a man. That's what happened to my one friend, remember?

Sage (19:09):

Oh, that's true.

Emily (19:10):

I was the one girlfriend out of five that were like, 

Sage:

Take your time.  Hold off.

Emily:

You take your time. Step away. You're grieving this relationship of 12 years. This man was very toxic. The relationship was very toxic. You need to focus on yourself. And instead she just jumped right back into a relationship.

Sage (19:25):

Well, because all her other friends were like, get a man, hurry up.

Emily (19:28):

And they were helping her text him and this and that. And then I ended up losing the friend because I wasn't sitting there giggling like dee, dee, dee. Instead, I was that reality.

Sage (19:37):

You were the raw.

Emily (19:38):

I was the raw. I was the reality. I was advocating for her and not this new relationship that I was like, what the hell? It's way too early.

Sage (19:45):

You know what's so interesting is when a friend comes to me with that very raw advice is actually when Sage will listen in for a minute.

Emily (19:53):

It’s true. Yeah. You do like it. You do like it raw.

Sage (19:55):

I do. But otherwise I typically don't listen to anyone. 

Emily:

Yup!

Sage:

But when you go deep and you are raw, it's something about that I gravitate toward. I really respect.

Emily (20:07):

Well, you're open to feedback and I think that's part of the whole mojo thing is you're not going to get it right away. You're going to freaking cry again and you're going to fail again and you're going to fall again. But if you're paying attention and you're building that muscle and it's over time, you're not just going to hit it right off the bat. It takes time.

Sage (20:24):

Speaking of that, I found myself in Agoura Hills, kind of again lonely by myself. Because I was still working in Santa Monica. My kids were still going to school in Santa Monica. So I was doing this heavy long commute every morning from Agoura back to the west side. But it was also still a sanctuary for me to just be in a neighborhood, not city, and like the craziness.  But every day, like you said, day to day was different. One day I would drink all fucking day and get nothing done, not be productive. And it went from that. And then it went from getting a new job that was super exciting in construction back on the West side that I dearly loved. It was just an up and down of grieving, laughing, crying, all of it encompassing, eventually made me feel better. I just had to go through the motions day to day.

Emily (21:17):

Yes.

Sage (21:18):

Whatever they were.

Emily (21:19):

And you gave yourself that permission. I think that was my hardest part was like if I had a day where I was just going to sleep all day or drink all day or not do anything, or just be by myself and sit in my thoughts. That's actually a Buddhist thing that they recommend is sit in your own pain and sit in your own thoughts. It's very powerful, but it's very hard to do. But you have to give yourself that permission. I think for me, because I'm always hustle, hustle, productive. Productive. I need to keep going. And I think too, when you're trying to recover and you're trying to get your mojo, it's just like you got to jam pack your schedule. You have to have all the social plans.

Sage (21:49):

Right.

Emily (21:50):

But you don’t.

Sage (21:50):

But I'm the same way. But then in addition to my scenario is I always have mom guilt. Us moms, whether you're divorced, married, whatever, there's always this layer of mom guilt.

Emily (22:01):

That you should be doing something for your kids.

Sage (22:02):

I didn't do enough today. I should have done better. I should have went over and beyond again. And it's like, stop with the mom guilt. It's going to eat you alive.

Emily (22:10):

That's one of the first things my therapist said to me that sticks with me to this day in one of our first sessions is she goes, there's no should. Because I kept saying that too. I kept being like, I should do this, I should do that. I should do this. And she kept being like, there's no should. There's no should. She was like, stop saying should. She was like, there's no should in the world. It's really what you want to do, what you need to do. No, I should do. That's somebody else's expectation on you. That's something, that's that guilt that you're feeling and it's not true to yourself. And kind of like what you want to do.

Sage (22:35):

You're right. Because instead of I should have, you just would've naturally.

Emily (22:39):

Yeah, should have, would have, could have.  It’s that saying.

Sage:

Exactly.  Yes.

Emily:

And it's in the past. And I think that's a big thing too, is bury the past. This is another kind of Buddhist thing, is be very present because you can't control the future. And I think you and I, especially over the last year have really honed this space and we're loving it of let the future flow. What will come, will come, what will be will be. And we're taking control of our destinies, but we're also very open to, we're just going to flow and we're going to be very present and it's going to be very, very much of like today. And we're not going to worry about yesterday and we're going to plan for the future, but we're also going to be agile and rolling. We're surfing the future waves while we're here present for each other.

Sage (23:24):

So ready for that. So ready to just take control. Yeah.

Emily (23:28):

Well, we are.

Sage (23:28):

I will say finally when I seriously got my mojo back after I got my job back on the Westside in construction, I did meet another contractor besides the one that I professionally worked for, one that I went on a date with.

Emily (23:44):

Okay. Was this your first date after your divorce?

Sage (23:48):

Basically.

Emily (23:49):

Sort of.

Sage (23:49):

Yeah. Yeah, sort of. Yeah. And it ended up being a four year relationship. 

Emily:

Whoops. That's what happens after your divorce. 

Sage

Exactly.

Emily (23:56):

Yeah.

Sage (23:57):

Okay. But I have a question for the audience. This was new for me. So we met at the beach, Will Rogers State Beach, Santa Monica, and he had excused himself to the restroom and I went after him. We took potty breaks because we didn't want to lose our towels and our purse and whatever belongings we had.

Emily (24:16):

Was it one of these where you were like, can you watch my stuff?

Sage (24:18):

Yeah, exactly. 

Emily:

Oh, cute. 

Sage:

Do you mind? I'll be right back. 

Emily:

Great pickup line. 

Sage:

And then we went to Gladstones on PCH in Sunset. It's kind of a touristy spot, but nonetheless nostalgic of Malibu, LA.  And long story short, so weeks later now we're having sex, hooking up, whatever. And he was like, I have something to tell you. And I said, you know, what? He goes, when I first saw you laying out on the beach in your bikini - remember tummy tuck and I'm super thin. He goes to the restroom and he says to me, while I took a piss, I came at the same time.

Emily (24:59):

I was about to say he totally fucking jacked off.

Sage (25:00):

Wait, wait, wait, wait. But I need to know, do men, can they, this was the first, you can pee and come at the same time. 

Emily:

I don't know. 

Sage:

Right.

Emily:

That is, okay. 

Sage:

And I was like, well, thank you. I have my mojo back.

Emily (25:15):

We might have to ask Big K about this one because I have no idea.

Sage (25:19):

Or Grandpa G or one of our friends.

Emily (25:20):

That is Mojo right there. Pee and come at the same time.

Sage (25:23):

Same time. 

Emily (25:25):

Nice job, Sage.

Sage (25:25):

Because I look so hot in my bikini.

Emily (25:27):

Because you look so hot. So ladies, that is one thing I will say about your mojo is like get a fucking bikini wax for you because you don't like how it feels. But then when you're sitting on the beach and you meet a random dude or whatever, you're already waxed and you feel great. I wear my Prada perfume because I like the way it smells, not because I want some guy to go by and get a whiff. Wear those clothes that make you feel hot. We've talked about this in previous episodes where I get picked up on the street a lot in LA and I think it's because I put myself together and I wear these clothes, especially in the summertime. I'm wearing dresses and heels and I'm not in sweatpants.

Sage:

Like Sage.

Emily:

But I do it for me. I do it because I feel good. I'm trying to impress myself. Pay attention to your posture. Sit up, walk tall because that's going to then get into your mind and then you're going to feel so beautiful and so awesome and you did it for yourself. It does not matter. You all know about my dick droughts. I go months without a man. I was single for three and a half years, but I still do that. I still put my makeup on. I still make myself because I feel good. And it's for me and my body is my sanctuary and it's my space. And then I'll be ready if I meet a gentleman on the beach. 

Sage (26:41):

There you go. More power to you, Emily.

Emily (26:41):

Because the last thing you want where you're feeling crummy and then all of a sudden the hot guy's talking to you. And let me tell you too, ladies, they don't see what we see. So we're all nervous about our cottage cheese.

Sage:

So true.  So true.

Emily:

And our stuff. So if we all go back to DJ Shrooms, you know my last date. So he’s 10 years younger than me. I love this moment. This is when Deb, I was like, I fucking have my mojo. So this chick star 69’s his ass, which I didn't even know was a thing. 

Sage:

That's the thing in the 90’s when we were growing up. 

Emily (27:12):

Did you know that was a thing? I know because you didn't know what the phone number was when they called your like, you know, rotary phone or whatever landline.

Sage (27:17):

It would say like 0, 0, 0

Emily (27:17):

And so you had to star 69 to know who called you. And it was always like, ooo, who called me? Who called me? Anyway, apparently, now, did you know this, when someone blocks your number, you can star 69 and you can call them and it says, no caller id. I had no idea.

Sage (27:34):

It happened to me a couple days ago, but yeah, yeah, yeah.  We’re figuring this out.

Emily (27:36):

So I'm hanging out with DJ Shrooms. And he's like, oh no, caller id, what's this? And I was like, that's an interesting time for a spam call. I just thought it was solicitation of sorts or whatever. It's like nine o'clock at night. Anyway, he plays the voicemail out loud. And it's a chick. Her name is Taylor, of course.

Sage (27:53):

And this is your second date and he plays the voicemail for you.

Emily (27:56):

Maybe third, yeah. Yeah, no, and so,

Sage:

Wow, that's kind of ballsy. 

Emily:

And it's a girl. I don't think he knew what it was.

Sage (28:01):

No, he had listened and then was like, Hey, listen again. 

Emily (28:05):

You think so? 

Sage:

A hundred percent.

Emily (28:06):

Oh, he was trying to impress me. 

Sage:

Jealousy.

Emily (28:08):

Well, it sort of worked, but not really because I had the best line. So this chick is like, Hey, this is Taylor. I star 69’d your ass. If you don't hate me, please call me back. I want to hear from you. Grovel. Grovel. And I was like, whoa. So yeah, of course it worked that I was like, wait.

Sage (28:25):

Was she like 25?

Emily (28:26):

She's his age allegedly. So 34.

Sage (28:32):

Yeah, sure.

Emily (28:32):

So anyway, then he starts talking to me about how dumb she is and how he's not calling her back. And he blocked her for a reason. And he doesn't like these girls because they just sit around and twirl their hair and pick at their food. And that's obviously not me. And he's trying to explain how when you're a DJ and you're backstage in Vegas, that there's all these supermodels walking around and they just want to give you a blowjob just because you're a DJ. And I'm sitting here like, Jesus, okay, I'm in my forties. I've been trying to get back into my gym routine. It's been really hard lately. And I'm just kind of sitting there and of course I'm naked and I'm like, oh God.

Sage (29:07):

Great mojo topic here, honey.

Emily (29:08):

Because, you like, you know, I know you guys can't see me. I am not a supermodel. I am curvy. I'm actually pretty average, average height, average weight, whatever. I am beautiful.

Sage (29:17):

You are average.  You are curvy.

Emily (29:18):

I love my body, whatever. I've got my Italian Nonna genes, so I've got my curvy thighs. Fuck all you people. I'm a curvy white girl. But anyway, so DJ Shroom’s talking about all the supermodels that love him. And I go, what makes you think I'm not a supermodel? And he was like, oh shit. Foot mouth, backpedaling. He thought I was being serious. He thought that I was actually a supermodel and he just insulted me. And I was like, I couldn't believe it came out of my mouth. I was like, that is mojo right there, motherfucker. So Deb, if you think it and you say it and you believe it, they believe you too. 

Sage:

Exactly. 

Emily:

Because they're dumb. They'll just believe whatever the fuck comes out of your mouth.

Sage (29:56):

Good message.  Good message. 

Emily (29:57):

I really was like, I'm a fucking supermodel. And now this man thinks I'm a supermodel.

Sage (30:01):

But you know what? You actually are. We all are. 

Emily:

In our own ways. 

Sage:

No, I mean so many different companies have had to change their marketing and advertisement to not be Victoria Secret skinny.

Emily:

To be the real woman, yeah.

Sage:

Like Heidi Klum or whatever. You've got to have curves and you've got to look at any color range and age and embrace us.  Girls! 

Emily:

Embrace it. 

Sage:

We have mojo!

Emily (30:21):

So Deb, we hope this helped. It actually really helped Sage and I because like I said,

Sage;

To reflect back.

Emily:

We had to think about it and we had to really kind of pump ourselves up of being like, oh yeah, fuck yeah, we have mojo. Fuck yeah. And so we encourage you to forget that toxic ex who cares. He's not worth you, that's for sure. And find your fuck yeah and find your accountability buddy, and go out and just own it.

Sage (30:48):

Agree.  Get it girls. 

Emily (30:49):

Yeah, get it girls. And we will be back next Tuesday. Like always please hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and share it with your friends because we are so happy you all are here on this journey. And if you liked it and you have something on your mind, please do send us a message. We've got more to come.

Sage (31:08):

We'd love to address it next time. 

Emily:

Next time. Cheers. 

Sage:

Cheers.