Red Flags are the Best in Bed

The girls welcome Big K, the car guy, back to the show to give his perspective on their latest adventures.  After weighing in on Emily's recent sex-caspade with a 28 year old in a penthouse in Downtown LA, Sage admits that she's a total red flag herself and shares that she has achieved a new notch on her belt in terms of sexual experiences.  Big K advises that there's still one more thing Sage can do before reaching the top - the elusive threeway.     

Transcript

Sage (00:15):

Welcome back, Watch Me Do It, friends. We are back in action recording from Santa Monica and feeling good, having a beer, and enjoying the Cali sunshine. Lucky us. I'm here with my best girl, Emily. 

Emily:

Hey fans, how are you today? 

Sage:

And we're doing - diving actually - into another fabulous episode with our good old guest speaker, Big K. We've missed him. It's been a minute.

Emily (00:41):

It's been a while. 

Sage:

Yeah.

Emily:

It's been a while since we've chatted with Big K.  Yeah.

Sage (00:44):

And as you may recall, Big K was on season one.

Emily (00:51):

Yes. A couple times. We had him on a couple times because Big K is actually very, very good at giving me dating advice and sex advice and all kinds of advice. And it's kind of funny because he is our car guy, and so you wouldn't normally think that your car guy would actually be able to also advise you on the raw shit.

Sage:

It was like your sex therapist. 

Emily:

Yes. He's like a sex therapist. He likes to call himself the professor. 

Sage:

That's right. 

Emily:

But yeah, for those of you who have not yet caught up on season one, first of all, we strongly encourage you to do so. It's all up there on Apple and Spotify and wherever you get your podcast. So make sure to check it out and get to know Big K. But I, Emily, am not so new to LA anymore, but when we first launched the podcast and when I first met Sage, it was now over a year ago, I was very, very new to LA and was very new to this car culture. I didn't own a car. I went four months without a car. I thought I was going to get around LA on a bike and walking and everybody was laughing at me the whole time. Anyway, I got a car and when I got the car I learned that everybody in LA not just has a really nice car, but also a car guy and probably multiple car guys. And actually I would say at this point I do have multiple.

Sage (02:14):

Actually we reference him as the greaser.

Emily (02:16):

He is. He's the greasiest of the greasy car guys. So up to you fans to decide what he does for us when it comes to cars. But we do know what he does for us when it comes to sex and dating. He was Sage's OG car guy and they go way back and she graciously shared him with me. So he's helped us both with our cars and now he also helps us both as a friend. 

Sage:

That's right. 

Emily:

And he gives us his straight male perspective that we always need in all these issues. So we thought today, considering we are talking about red flags and how to navigate those, that we would need to hear what Big K thinks about these things.

Sage (02:55):

He'll know about red flags, that's for sure. 

Emily:

He is one. 

Sage:

Yes, we all are. 

Emily (03:01):

He's a red banner.

Sage (03:02):

All right, here we go. I'm going to call him up. 

Emily:

Okay. 

Sage:

A red banner. 

Emily:

Yeah.

Big K (03:12):

Good afternoon.

Sage (03:13):

Hey Big K. How are you?

Emily (03:15):

Hi.  Big K.

Big K (03:17):

Hey guys. It's been a while. How are you?

Emily (03:19):

I know we were just saying that and I know you talk to Sage on the reg, but I am missing you. I haven't talked to you in ages.

Big K (03:28):

I know that. All I hear, just like all I do is listen to the podcast and listen, and catch up with you like that. I just stay on it weekly.

Emily (03:36):

I tell that to all my friends back home. I'm like, if you're curious what I'm up to in LA, just listen to the podcast. 

Sage:

Yeah. It's so true. 

Big K:

It's very simple. 

Emily:

Yeah. We cover it. We cover everything. We cover it all.

Sage (03:46):

Wait, back to the basics. Are we referring to you as Big K or are you Special K?  Because Grandpa G named you Special K.

Emily (03:52):

Yes. Grandpa G got a little mixed up.

Big K (03:54):

That's what I heard. He actually called me. He said that. 

Sage:

You're Special K.

Big K:

And I was like, man, don't be trying to change my name, bro.

Emily (04:02):

Well, you are special in your own way, but we can stick to Big K. We don't want to confuse the listeners. 

Sage:

That's true.

Emily (04:08):

You are the one and only Big K. 

Big K:

That’s true.  I appreciate that.

Emily:

Yeah, yeah.

Sage (04:12):

So newsflash, Emily is now dating on dating apps. 

Emily:

I am. 

Sage:

And she's got some tea to spill.

Emily (04:22):

I have some tea and I have some, I need the advice from my professor.

Big K (04:26):

Okay.

Emily (04:27):

Yeah.

Big K (04:27):

We love this. We love this. The third grade teacher making a move.

Emily (04:32):

Oh yeah. 

Sage:

Oh yeah. 

Emily:

You'd be very proud of me, Big K. So yeah, I just kind of got sick of the dick drought and I got sick of, I'm not good when I'm bored.

Sage (04:40):

You got sick with the dildos and your vibrators.

Emily (04:42):

Yeah.

Sage (04:43):

She wanted the real thing.

Emily (04:44):

I just was ready to rumble. And so the fastest way to drum up a man is to go on the apps, as much as I hate them, we all know what they do. And so I had some unexpected, surprising best sex of my life, even though the guy exhibited a hundred red flags. And honestly Big K, the only reason I went on the date was for the podcast.  I had to get in my head.  

Big K (05:12):

Sometimes you have to stick your foot in the water.

Emily (05:12):

I had do it for the content.  The whole time I was like, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? And it was like, do it for the pod. Do it for the pod. 

Sage (05:18):

She went all the way to Downtown LA which is a 45 minute to one hour drive for coffee.

Emily (05:25):

No, it wasn't even coffee. So I got downgraded, Big K, this guy. So this is the first red flag. You all know how I feel about coffee dates, right? I might be the one and only.

Big K (05:34):

That's not for you.

Emily (05:35):

It's not for me. I want to be wined and dined. 

Sage:

Me too, babe.

Emily:

I don't care how much it costs. I'm willing to split it. I'm willing to pay for it. Let's not do the coffee. Anyway, this guy downgraded me to matcha. He asked me out for matcha. And then of course Sage is immediately like he must be gay.

Speaker 4 (05:50):

Be gay. He's gay.

Emily (05:51):

Who goes out for matcha. 

Sage:

Matcha.

Big K (05:54):

No one.

Sage (05:54):

Right? He said no one. 

Emily:

And then who drives to DTLA?

Sage (05:59):

For matcha.

Emily (06:00):

At like 1:30 on a Tuesday?

Sage (06:02):

Loser. 

Emily (06:04):

Yeah.  No. So already I'm like, why? Oh my God, this is not my style at all. 

Big K:

Okay.

Emily:

Anyway, he was cute enough. I mean he was cute enough. He was not groomed, which I don't like, the scraggly beard.

Sage (06:18):

Emily said he was more my style.

Emily (06:21):

Yeah, he was the man and he was like,

Sage (06:23):

Like with a beard.

Emily (06:25):

But his beard was gross. You know I like beards, but it was not groomed.

Sage (06:28):

Oh, okay.

Emily (06:29):

Yeah. You need to, come on men. Come on, groom that shit.

Big K (06:31):

Yeah, you're going on a date with a boogie third grade teacher. Let's go.

Emily (06:35):

Dude, and he was 16 years younger than I am. So this is a cougar situation here.

Big K (06:40):

What in the Sam Hill?

Emily (06:43):

Yeah. 16 years. Yep.

Big K (06:45):

Wow.  That's amazing. That's a good pull by you though. A good pull. I'm proud of that.

Emily (06:50):

Oh, wait, wait, wait till you hear the pull.

Sage (06:52):

After matcha, you end up at his, you know…

Emily (06:54):

Well. Okay, so here's what's going on. I squeeze him in between meetings, right? Because that's in our last episode we talked to you about Big K. The coffee date is squeezed in between meetings. And so I brought my laptop, I had everything ready, I was ready to take a meeting and this guy was boring as all shit. So first of all, he had a Wisconsin accent and nothing against all of you in Wisconsin. I love you. But my uncle lives in Wisconsin and has the same accent. So all I was thinking about was my uncle.

Sage:

Ew.

Emily:

Right?  

Sage:

Yeah.

Emily:

And then he had this…

Big K (07:20):

I'm thinking about cheese curds right now.

Emily (07:21):

Yeah, exactly.  You don’t want to think about cheese curds when you're at a matcha date. What the fuck? Right?  Turn off left and right. Red flag, red flag. Then he had, as part of the non grooming, he had one eyebrow hair in the middle that was just really long and took you straight out.

Sage:

Ewwww

Emily:

I know.

Sage (07:37):

Speaking of that, when I was driving my daughter to school, she was like, mom, you have the longest chin hair. I see it in the sunlight. 

Emily:

Oh no. 

Sage:

And I was like, bitch, show me where?  And she's like ew, so gross. And I was like, one day it’s going to happen to you. Alright, go ahead with Charles.

Emily (07:51):

Honestly, my mom, I've seen that with my mom, have the scraggly chin hair, but we don't have the type of relationship where I could tell her about it. So kudos to your daughter.

Big K (08:01):

You got to be careful with most guys because they have that one nose hair sticking out too.

Emily (08:05):

Oh, the nose hairs. Yes. And those, they have little contraptions for that now too. It's very easy to trim your nose hairs.

Big K (08:11):

They do. It'll never happen to me.  Never.

Emily (08:12):

Good, good Big K. So for me, well groomed men is a green flag. 

Big K:

Ok, that’s it. 

Emily (08:19):

So scraggly man.  Red flag.

Sage (08:20):

Big K gets his nails done.

Emily (08:23):

Good for you, Big K.  There’s no shame.

Sage (08:25):

And gets massages.

Emily (08:25):

Yes. Get your nails done. I love it. I love a well groomed man, perfect. Good green flags.

Big K (08:30):

I aim to please.  

Emily (08:31):

Yeah, exactly. So anyway, I'm sitting here and I have this meeting and my phone is buzzing that it's time to sign in for this meeting or whatever, but I was just like, you know I didn't come all the way down to DTLA and deal with this man in his boring small talk like boring, boring, yawn, yawn, blah. And I mean, he was hot. I showed you the gym selfie that he sent me later. He was hot. If he groomed himself, he would be even hotter, but whatever. And he was 28. So I was like, okay, let's do this. 

Big K:

Holy moly.

Emily:

He's talking a lot about his apartment and how it's a penthouse and it's two floors and he has a jacuzzi.

Big K:

And it’s nearby.

Emily:

Oh, it just happens to be right there. You could see it from the window. So Big K you will be so proud of me. I was giving the vibe of like, oh, ooh, ah, hmmm, until he goes, would you like to see it? And I'm like, duh, like of course.  Like I'm going to sit here in some rando coffee shop in the fashion district where it's a bunch of weird old stores with sewing machines. It's not the New York Fashion District. Those of you who don’t know LA, this is not… that's like fashion in quotes.

Sage (09:38):

Like the end of fashion.

Big K:

So you didn’t see a pair of de cabaret richies, is what you’re saying.

Emily (09:39):

Yeah. And so I'm like, of course I want to see your rooftop and your jacuzzi, but it's still, even after inviting me back, it took him forever. I was like, okay, why am I standing here? He's just very awkward, so many red flags until I finally made it happen. His apartment, so that he has his office, his little stay-at-home office is on the top floor where the patio is and the jacuzzi, and then his bedroom is on the bottom floor with the kitchen and kind of whatever living room. And this guy is such a bro, it's dirty. It's got no furniture. It's just, like total gross, bro. Anyway, so we're upstairs to look at the roof deck on the jacuzzi and everything and in his office. So anyway, we finally, he finally kisses me and I've been waiting forever. I'm like, how many matchas does it take? And I get it. We're sober, so whatever. 

Sage:

Right.

Emily:

But he finally kisses me.

Big K (10:34):

Yeah, sober,  afternoon light.

Emily (10:36):

I know. Sober afternoon in the daylight. I know. And he rips my clothes off and we're like going at it on his desk. And then he picks me up, throws me over his shoulder, carries me down the stairs and I was like, this is it. I'm going to die. I was like, this man is going to drop me and my head's going to bust open and it's going to bleed all over the floor and I'm going to die in DTLA and Sage help me. What is happening? I was laughing though, obviously and smacking him on the ass with this is happening. But anyway, I had the best sex of my life.

Sage (11:06):

She came, she got on top and came.

Emily (11:09):

Everywhere. It was great. 

Big K (11:12):

Wait, who on earth is this young cat with the, making the third grade teacher get one. I love it.

Emily (11:18):

I know. I thought you would like it, but his sink was disgusting and the eyebrow hair. But I had really, really good sex. 

Big K (11:27):

Now did you have an orgasm to overlook all the bad?

Emily (11:31):

Yeah, of course. I felt great afterwards and then I canceled my next meeting. 

Big K (11:34):

That's what women do.

Emily (11:35):

Yeah.

Big K (11:35):

That's what the women do. They will, a good sex will have you calling them back. I'm telling you.

Emily (11:40):

I cleared my schedule to be able to, 

Big K:

As you should. 

Emily:

To lounge in this man's bed. And then Sage got very excited for weeks. I forgot what his name was. She kept being like, how is Charles? How is Charles, how is Charles? And I was like, who? I was like, what? And even when I was showing up for the date, I had to go back on the app because I couldn't remember what his name was. It didn't matter.

Sage (12:02):

No.

Emily (12:02):

No. I wasn’t into him.

Big K (12:03):

So this happened multiple times.

Sage:

One time.

Emily (12:04):

No, he tried, he tried. So then he sends me a gym selfie later and he did look hot and I like to show it to my friends of being like, yeah, I banged this guy. And then he sent me a photo of a Clorox wipes that he bought and said progress. He was trying to show me that he's cleaning his apartment because I made so many comments. 

Big K:

He’s adulting, he’s adulting.

Emily:

He's trying to adult, sadly badly. But anyway, and then he kind of asked me out for dinner and,

Big K (12:31):

Ok.

Emily (12:33):

I was watching, Sage I was watching your dog and I had my dog and I was put off immediately because he goes, let me know when you're headed my way. And I was like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Next red flag. He does not come to me.  Right?

Sage (12:49):

Yeah. You're not going to go Downtown LA, again.

Emily (12:51):

Twice. 

Sage:

Consecutive. Fuck that. 

Emily:

And I was like, we can at least meet in the middle. It's a Saturday night. I'm going to sit in traffic. And so I'm already turned off. I'm already like, what the fuck, bro? Then I say something like, well, it's going to have to be an early night because I'm dog sitting, whatever. I was trying to make it just dinner and not sex. Now in hindsight, I don't know why. Because he was great in bed.

Big K (13:13):

Right, I don't either.

Emily (13:14):

Well, so anyway, that was dumb. I was trying to make it just dinner and then he goes, oh, well if you have limited time we can just go straight to my place. And that pissed me off even more. I was like, really? I'm not just your fuck. Not even fuck buddy.

Sage (13:31):

But you wanted him to be just your fuck. So why does that make you -

Emily (13:36):

But I want dinner.  Like we had matcha.  Like come on.  Give me some dinner first.  We can still have dinner and fuck and I can be home for the dogs.

Sage (13:36):

Dinner and dignity?  Is that what you’re looking for?

Emily (13:39):

I was going to go straight home. Dinner and dignity.  Exactly. Dinner and a fuck. You can still get it in before you go home for the dogs. He didn't ask me how much time. And so then I was like, you know what? I'm just going to stay home for the dogs. Do you know what he said, Big K? He goes,

Big K (13:56):

What could he have said?

Emily (13:57):

He goes, are you feeling okay?

Sage (13:59):

Which is insulting. I would've been like, fuck you motherfucker. He knows you of one time that he has spent with you for a couple hours and then asks you if you're feeling okay. 

Emily (14:12):

Because I didn't want to just have sex with him. Yeah. So something's wrong with me.

Big K (14:15):

Well, you know, here's the problem. Let me just intervene real quickly because you did give the signal this was maybe a booty call thing. 

Sage:

Right.

Emily (14:24):

Did I?

Sage:

Well, yeah, you fucked him.

Big K (14:25):

You had matcha, you went up to his place within an hour. You had a dingdong slide in between your vagina.

Sage:

And you came on his fucking dick riding him. 

Emily (14:31):

I mean I had to upgrade the matcha. I had to make it worth it. Who drives to DTLA for fucking matcha.

Big K (14:38):

You sent the signal of more than just we're just going to be fuck buddies.

Emily (14:43):

Well, okay, fine. But then I did say to him in the text when I was wanting dinner, I said, I'm not just interested in a booty call type of thing. 

Sage:

Ok. What did he say?

Big K (14:51):

He’s 28.

Emily (14:52):

I think that's when he said, are you feeling okay? 

Sage:

He's 28. Like Big K said he's 28. 

Big K:

He's 28. 

Emily:

And then he was backpedaling so fast. He was trying so hard to get it back.

Sage:

Save it, to save it. 

Emily:

And I was like, no, you're done. We're done with you. That's it. This was for the pod. There's his story, buh bye Charles. Go take your big dick somewhere else.

Big K:

But that's a great, that was a great story.

Emily:

But you know what else I know? Sage, I have not told you this yet. We know in six months from now, I could totally text him and be like, yo, what are you up to?

Sage (15:18):

Yeah, you can fuck him anytime you want him.

Emily (15:18):

Anytime. 

Sage:

Hundred percent. 

Emily:

Yeah. 

Big K:

In two years.

Emily:

Yes!

Sage (15:23):

It doesn't expire.

Emily:

I like the way you think.

Sage:

There’s no expiration date on that.

Big K (15:28):

There’s no expiration date.  It's not like being the president for four years.  There’s no expiration date.

Emily (15:32):

But it has to be on my terms. 

Sage:

Yeah, he'll be waiting for you.

Emily:

Oh, a hundred percent. Fuck yeah.

Big K (15:39):

If you're horny, you call that guy.  He's going to take you to matcha or not and just go get yours and ride his dick and leave him and say thank you very much for your time. You turn into the dude.

Sage:

Exactly.

Emily (15:49):

So I'll never be in a dick drought again. 

Sage:

Right.

Emily:

Because he was probably the best sex I've had maybe ever.

Sage (15:56):

Really?

Big K (15:57):

Well, you have bad sex.  I had to bring that up.

Sage (15:57):

I would be banging down his fucking door if that was the case. 

Emily:

I know. 

Sage:

What's wrong with you?

Big K (16:02):

You’ve had some pretty bad sex.

Sage (16:05):

You don't walk away from really good sex. 

Emily:

Even with all the red flags?

Sage:

Hell no. It's just for sex. It's really good?

Big K:

Merely for sex.

Emily (16:14):

Big K, Sage is advocating because she is the biggest red flag herself.

Sage (16:19):

Hell yeah, I am. I'm such a red flag and Emily is just a green flag.

Emily (16:23):

I've got green daisies all around me.

Sage (16:25):

Yes. Okay. 

Big K:

Yes.  You sure do. 

Sage:

So what makes me a red flag?

Emily (16:30):

Yeah, Big K, what are Sage's red flags? Let's hear from you.

Sage (16:34):

Well, red flags are the best in bed. First of all.  Not that Big K knows or anybody knows.

Emily (16:37):

This does not mean that I'm bad in bed. Hey, wait a minute. I don't like where this is going. 

Sage:

Yeah, you're a green flag. 

Emily:

I don't like where this is going. No, it does not mean that green flags are not bad in bad. It just means that red flags are, it's the conflict. It's the conundrum. Because you have great sex, but there's red flags. Oh, that, that's no good.

Big K (16:55):

Yeah. The red flags in the bed are the ones as guys mostly want.  You turn into a red flag when you had, after matcha. That's exactly how red flags are.

Emily (17:05):

After matcha?

Big K (17:07):

Well, you went upstairs, did your thing, and left.  That’s the red flag.

Emily (17:09):

Oh, and then I had the red flag. Gotcha, gotcha. No, we're talking about Sage though. What are Sage's red flags? 

Big K:

That's Sage.

Emily:

That’s Sage?

Sage (17:15):

No, that's what Emily - I would never meet anybody for matcha. Are you crazy? 

Emily:

She would never.

Sage (17:20):

To drive to Downtown LA to have matcha. 

Emily:

She's like, her circle is like Palisades, Brentwood, LA. Not even West LA. 

Sage:

Yeah, two bottles of wine and I'm your red flag.

Emily:

Santa Monica. She might come to Venice. Maybe. 

Sage:

I love Venice. 

Emily:

Only if I'm there. 

Sage:

Yes.

Emily:

That’s one of her red flags.  Will not travel.  

Big K (17:36):

You supposed to go see somebody in Burbank and that was too far for her.

Emily:

Yeah, exactly. 

Sage (17:40):

Exactly. I am a shit show and I know that. 

Emily:

You're not a shit show. 

SageL

Well, I'm kind of a tornado. Yeah?  

Emily (17:48):

Okay, tornadoes are different than shit shows.

Sage (17:50):

They can coincide in my book.  

Emily (17:52):

It's like swirling chaos versus just shit all over the place.

Sage (17:58):

All right. I'm swirling chaos then.

Emily (17:59):

Yeah.

Big K (18:01):

Swirly.

Emily (18:01):

Don't you think swirling chaos is better than a shit show?

Sage:

To me, they're not very different. 

Big K:

I don't think - 

Emily:

Big K agrees.

Big K (18:09):

I think you guys, the way you're saying it is both one's a red flag, one's a green flag. The green flag has red flag in her. I don't know if Sage has any green flags in her.

Sage (18:23):

You know, I was thinking about that.  But I do. You know why?

Emily (18:25):

She's a mom!

Big K:

Why?

Sage (18:26):

Because, yeah, I'm a mom. I financially take care of myself. I don't rely on anyone for financials. I have been here for 23 years and have survived. 

Emily:

But is that a green flag for men though? Because I feel like men,

Big K (18:38):

That is really not a green flag in my eye. 

Emily:

Exactly. 

Big K:

Your stories have made the red flag. When you want to get down with somebody, you're a red flag. You're like, I want to do you. If I don't like you after we're done, I'm never going to talk to you again. That's a red flag.

Sage (18:52):

Hundred percent. That’s true.

Emily:

Okay.

Big K (18:54):

A green flag. You taking care of your kids. That's what you're going to do anyway. I mean that's not a green flag.

Emily (18:59):

Okay. You don't think mom vibes? 

Sage:

But there's some moms that don't take care of their kids. That's a red flag.

Big K (19:05):

No, I think you're a good mom. I don't think that makes you have green flags. I think we're talking about dealing with you, her dealing with men and you dealing with men. She's a green flag and has red flag in her. Obviously, she just pulled it out for the content we know. And she had to be you for the show. You would never be that. You would never go to a third grade teacher, that's not a chance.

Emily (19:27):

Would you bang a guy off an app in DTLA randomly? It was a penthouse, it had a good view. 

Sage:

Me? 

Emily:

Yeah.

Sage (19:34):

No.

Emily (19:34):

You wouldn't have done that.

Sage (19:35):

Nope.

Emily (19:36):

I wanted it to happen. Because why else would I drive over there?

Sage (19:39):

I'm not judging. 

Emily:

No, no, I know you're not.

Sage (19:41):

I was like, go get it, girl. 

Emily:

But I think this is Big K’s point that I've got 'em in there. So Big K. So this is a warning to all the men out there that might date me one day. I have inner red flags that they will find out, 

Big K:

You do. 

Emily:

After they fall in love with me.

Big K (19:57):

Yeah, that's the second part. You're going to do missionary position until you're the one. Then I'm going to turn it over and let you do a doggy.

Sage (20:06):

Okay.

Emily:

Yes.

Sage:

While we're talking about sex, I've got something to interject here. So I went and saw Trojan Horse and for the first time I did double penetration. First time ever.

Emily (20:18):

Is this a slow clap? Is this a fast clap? Is this, what is this? How do we say this? Is this congratulations?

Sage (20:23):

No.

Emily:

No.

Sage:

No, no. 

Emily:

This is like, okay.

Big K (20:24):

I think it's fantastic.

Sage (20:25):

This is a question of curiosity.

Emily:

Yes.

Sage:

Why I bring it up. So what can you do after DP? What's the next thing?

Big K (20:34):

DV.

Emily:

DB?

Sage (20:38):

No, that's not the right answer. 

Big K:

D and V.

Sage:

You were supposed to say the next thing is a threesome. Okay. 

Emily:

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is DV?

Big K (20:50):

DV is double vagina.

Emily (20:52):

Double vagina? How does that work?

Big K (20:55):

Two penises in one vagina.

Sage (20:57):

Never. No, thank you. What? I'm not trying to shred this shit. It's still intact.

Emily (21:03):

Yeah. Remember Big K, the last time we had you on, we were talking about wands and kegels and whatever, all that shit.

Big K (21:09):

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, DV is the next step, but a threesome is probably the next step after DP. 

Sage:

Okay. Question.

Big K:

Because that’s when it would happen.

Emily (21:16):

No, really? You think DP comes before a threesome? 

Sage:

No. Threesome after DP. 

Big K:

It goes DP.

Emily:

That's what I'm saying.

Big K (21:25):

Once you've done DP with a dildo and a man's wiener, a threesome is next for sure.

Sage (21:30):

Okay. So that's what I did. I did a wiener with a dildo.

Big K (21:34):

Okay.

Sage (21:35):

My question is, if we move to a three-way and it's two women and one man, what are the two women do? 

Emily:

Yeah. How does that work? 

Sage:

Who's waiting to do what? Line us up here.

Big K (21:49):

Well, there's obviously going to be multiple ways to do it. He's going to hit you doggy. She's going to be on her back and one of you are going to be eating the other one out.

Emily:

Wait, wait, wait, wait. 

Sage (21:54):

So he's doing one doggy, and while you're getting a doggy, you're licking pussy to the other girl.

Big K (22:01):

That's correct. 

Emily:

Oh, really?

Sage (22:03):

Next one.

Big K (22:04):

The other one is him laying on his back. You're riding him and the girl's sitting on his face.

Emily (22:08):

That one I know. Yeah, that one I know.

Sage:

Ooo, I like that one.  I'm into that.

Big K (22:12):

The other one is you're laying, you're on doggy and she's laying underneath you while he hits you doggy. She's licking your clit and you're eating her vagina. 

Emily:

Okay.

Sage (22:23):

And you're getting dick at the same time while she's licking your clit. 

Emily:

Yeah.

Big K (22:27):

That's right. 

Emily:

That one makes sense. 

Big K

You're eating her vagina.

Emily (22:30):

Oh God. This is why three-ways, they just stress me out. This is a lot of work.

Big K (22:33):

Yeah. Yeah. And then there's a lot of time where…

Emily (22:35):

And a lot of thinking and a lot of coordinating.  Isn't that awkward that you're like, okay, wait, you go here, you go there.

Sage (22:39):

I've done a three-way with two dudes. I mean, it is kind of exhausting and awkward, but

Emily (22:45):

So you went out of order, you did the three-way before DP.

Sage:

Correct, correct. 

Emily:

That's what I'm saying. I think the three-way goes before DP.

Sage (22:52):

I don't know. I just can't imagine licking pussy.  I really can’t.  

Big K (22:55):

If she does another dude, then she would have a dick in her booty and a dick in her vagina. A real thing going in and out, not just some dildo. And that's way different.

Sage (23:04):

Well, I had the dildo in my vagina and the real dick in my ass. 

Emily (23:08):

So he's saying to swap a dildo for another dick. 

Sage:

Right, right, right. 

Emily:

Dick number two.

Sage (23:11):

Right.

Big K (23:11):

You would be reverse cowgirl riding the dude and he'd be in your ass and the guy on top would be doing your vagina.

Emily (23:18):

Man, the Kama Sutra needs to interview you, Big K. This is very illuminating. I'm needing visuals.

Big K (23:24):

Yeah.

Emily (23:25):

And pictures.

Big K (23:26):

If you can picture all those,

Sage:

It's complicated. 

Emily:

It's complicated. 

Big K:

Then there's vagina to mouth. So he can be doing somebody's doggy and you stand there close, he pulls out, you suck it. He puts it back in.

Emily (23:36):

Okay, so two questions. If a guy, girl, whoever wants a three-way with you, is that a red flag?

Big K (23:52):

Oh, that's a red flag for sure. She's a freak.

Emily (23:55):

No. What if it's a guy?

Sage (23:56):

What if the guy is saying, Hey, I want you and another woman. Let's have a three-way. 

Emily:

That’s like normal.  Everybody wants that, right? 

Sage:

Is that a red flag? 

Emily:

Is that a red flag?

Big K (24:04):

No, that's a guy and a lot of women's fantasies. That's just a fantasy. That doesn't make it a red flag.

Emily (24:10):

That's just a fantasy. Okay. So then if the girl says yes, I will do a three-way with you. Is that a red flag on the girl?

Big K (24:16):

No, because that could be her fantasy. Now the problem is a lot of dudes want to do two girls, and what if the girl wants two guys?

Sage (24:25):

Right.

Emily:

Exactly.

Big K (24:25):

So there's a lot of that where it becomes selfish because you as a girl could be like, I don't want to touch another girl, but I'll do it if we do another guy.  The guy says, I only want to do you with another chick. So it becomes, that's when it becomes a little tougher. But the girl who's joining you is a red flag and the dude who joins you is a red flag.

Emily (24:48):

The extra. The extra one. Yeah. 

Big K:

Yeah, the extra guy. One hundred percent. 

Emily:

So would you recommend that the extra one is a stranger or is somebody you know.

Big K (24:56):

100%.

Emily (24:57):

So it has to be a stranger.

Big K (24:57):

No way.

Emily (24:58):

Has to be a stranger.

Big K (24:59):

One of them is a stranger, you have to be a stranger.  I mean you went to the bar, and met up.

Emily (25:03):

Yeah, you picked somebody up. And then what's better if the primary couple, if they are exclusive and they are committed and then the stranger comes in, or if they're just open and it's early and they're just open and they're not exclusive, what's better?

Big K (25:19):

Well, no, because once you start, if it's a girl, she's going to kiss two dudes. And if it's a girl, she's going to kiss a girl and a guy. So as a tick, you have to be down to like, I'm going to please my man and get with a tick. But there's a lot of girls that don't want to get with another girl. So that's where a dude doesn't want another dude fucking his girl. So there's a lot that comes in it.

Emily:

Exactly, exactly.

Sage (25:40):

I think that everybody should just take turns. So let's do two guys one time and then two women the other time, I don't know.

Emily (25:49):

Then what do you do?  Just sit there naked watching with popcorn. You just eat your candies?

Sage (25:55):

Yeah, to watch TV too.

Big K (25:58):

No, because it’s pretty - actually, I'm sure the other person would be there. They could probably be pretty hot if the girl's getting smashed and then that guy gets off and then the other dude jumped in there and if it's a girl, the guy gets to bone two different girls.

Emily (26:10):

Yeah but what if you’re the least hot one in the room and then you just feel like, shit. 

Sage:

No, I know what to do. 

Emily:

You get an ugly girl.

Sage:

I was talking to Trojan Horse about this and he was like, why are you so hung up about being afraid to be with another woman? I said, I'm not afraid. He goes, make her your fucking bitch like you do everyone else. And I was like, you're right, own her.

Emily (26:26):

And then he would probably really like that. That'd be hot. 

Sage:

Because I'm dominating. 

Emily:

Yeah, that'd be hot.  Yeah, yeah.

Sage:

Make her your fucking bitch. 

Emily:

Yeah but she would have to be less - 

Big K:

Or you could be the one that wants to be dominated. That could be cool for you. 

Emily:

Yeah, but she would've to be less hot than you.  Don’t you think so? 

Sage:

I'm not worried about that. I'm not worried about that. I'm hot. 

Emily:

Okay.

Big K (26:40):

I don't think so. I think a hot chick and knowing that she's going to be there for the night and maybe she becomes your unicorn.

Sage (26:48):

What's a unicorn?

Big K (26:50):

What's a unicorn?

Sage (26:51):

Yeah.

Big K (26:52):

Like a girl that'll join a couple and have no problems. Anytime you need me, I'm here for you guys.

Sage (26:58):

Oh, just like ride the unicorn.

Big K (26:59):

She doesn't need a man. She doesn't need a girl. She just needs a couple that's down to hang out with her.

Emily (27:04):

What if she likes Trojan Horse though?

Big K (27:08):

No, unicorns aren’t like that.

Emily (27:09):

And then you have to punch her in the face and get her out of there.

Big K (27:12):

Unicorns know their place. That's why they're called unicorns. 

Sage:

Do we find one online? 

Big K:

They'll eat the girl out. Huh?

Sage (27:19):

Do we find one online? How do you find a unicorn?

Emily:

Where do you find one?

Big K (27:23):

Those are tough to find. You got to do some research. You got to go out. You'll know when you find one because she'll kiss you and then she'll kiss your man.

Sage:

Gasp.

Emily (27:32):

Yes, see!

Sage:

I don’t know, dude.

Emily:

See!  There you go. There's the reaction right there.  Exactly.

Sage (27:37):

Okay.

Emily (27:39):

Exactly.

Big K (27:39):

That's all I’m saying.

Sage (27:40):

I have another sex question while we have Big K here.

Big K:

Yes.

Sage:

Okay.  The process of sucking dick accordingly. So you start off slow to warm it up, get it hard, and then you want to go medium range midway, right? Because you don't want them to come too fast or I don't want them to come too fast.

Big K (27:58):

That's right.

Sage (27:59):

And then have some sex and then go back to sucking dick and then go faster and finish 'em off. Right?

Big K (28:05):

Well, I have a theory on this whole thing because some ladies could suck really good dick, so they could literally end it. They could suck a dick at the beginning and they could make you come if they really wanted to. But I think the problem with a lot of women is that middle time.  So the first time you’re sucking it, you’re kissing it, you suck it. You're getting it hard, you're going to jump on it. That middle one, some of you don't know that there's a, we're not trying to bust.  And a lot of you suck dick, like, okay, how I always suck it and then you make a dude come, he wasn't ready, but he's not going to, a lot of guys are not going to give up a good blowjob. So you got to be careful in that middle one where you don't do it so great, but you're doing it just because you're trying to give yourself a break of 12 seconds. The guy's been fucking you doggy or on you, you’re switching positions, whatever it may be.

Speaker 4 (28:51):

I do it as a warmup.

Big K (28:53):

Now in the end… Yes. The warmup is when you just kissing, all of a sudden if he doesn't have a boner, you got to suck his dick to get it hard.

Sage (28:57):

Sure. 

Emily:

Well, even if he has a boner.

Sage:

Well, that's obvious.

Emily:

Yeah.

Sage:

But I guess I never knew you guys thought so much into this, that there is a process of it. 

Big K (29:08):

Yeah, there's a process. And then at the end it becomes a more you than him because if a guy pulls out right before he is done, he wants to suck his dick and then he wants to bust on your face, whatever it may be.

Emily:

Right.

Sage (29:20):

Well, because it also depends on how they want to come. Sometimes, whether you're having sex or sucking dick, they'll be like, I want to come on your back, or I want to come on your face, or I want to come in your pussy. So all of that being said, whatever, I mean if you guys are vocal in bed, or at least I am, we talk about next move.

Big K (29:39):

Your final move is if you're tired of, if you got one of those dudes that's going for an hour, you just suck his dick to end it. That's a wrap.

Emily:

Yeah.

Sage (29:49):

Right.

Big K (29:49):

Because I'm going to do my good dick sucking job and I'm going to make you bust because I'm tired of fucking and I'm ready to go to bed.

Emily (29:55):

Yeah, no, my ammo is a warmup and I'm probably the middle. In the middle in terms of your description. And then yeah, we finish off together, usually inside.

Big K (30:06):

Correct.  And as long as you got yours and you're tired of having sex, you can always end it at any time though.

Emily (30:11):

Well, see, that's the thing is if they don't have the red flags, you don't get yours. That's the frustration.

Big K (30:17):

That's what I'm saying. You don't usually get yours. That's your problem.

Emily (30:19):

We have to find the green flags.

Big K (30:21):

You should have him eat your pussy for 12 hours.

Sage:

Yes!  He’s right about that.

Emily (30:23):

He has to lick my pussy for 12 hours?

Sage (30:25):

Until you come.  Absolutely.

Big K (30:27):

Well, until you get yours.

Emily (30:28):

Well, that's a green flag.

Big K (30:29):

No doubt.

Emily (30:29):

That's a green flag. 

Sage:

No, it's a red flag if he's not fucking licking your pussy for 12 hours. 

Emily (30:35):

That's what I'm saying , it's a green flag that he is licking a pussy for 12 hours to make you come.

Big K (30:38):

No, no it's a red flag if you don't get yours.  If you let him not let you get yours.

Emily:

That’s what I’m saying.

Big K:

If you let him slide up, if you let him come up and start kissing you and start fucking you, that's a red flag. He needs to be like, no, bro. Stay down there. I'm about to come. Even if you're not going to, this gets yours that way. Then whenever that happens the rest of the night, you're good. But you got to be a little more assertive in your, make me come because the dick might not be any good.

Sage (31:01):

Well, that happens too. 

Emily:

I was assertive with Mr. Matcha. 

Sage:

Yes. Alright. 

Big K:

That's right. And you saw what happened. God dangit. 

Emily:

Yeah.  Fuck yeah, I got fucked. 

Sage (31:09):

Yes. Alright, off we go. We have discussed enough sex for this evening.

Big K:

Yeah we have.

Emily (31:15):

Sage is weary of sex. Could this be?

Sage (31:17):

I know, right? I'm like, enough's enough.

Emily:

Well, she's got to go plan her threeway. 

Sage:

Yeah. I'm a red flag and I'm going to plan my threeway. I don't know yet if it'll be two girls or two dudes. So we'll see. Anyways, thanks for listening in and joining us again at Watch Me Do It and we look forward to next week when we drop on Tuesday. 

Emily

Yes. Thanks everybody. Good to see you. 

Sage:

Good night. 

Big K:

Bye guys.

Emily (31:38):

Bye Big K! Cheers.