Establishing an Energetic Relationship with a New Home

Tonya and I are quite familiar with each other, but I recently met her partner, Tom. On this House Therapy and Feng Shui consultation, Tonya and Tom join me to discuss the home they recently purchased together!

You’ll especially want to tune into this client session if you, too:

» have recently purchased or moved into an older home that’s been through a lot

» have a home with a staircase in the entryway

» are wanting to create unity and harmony

» are exploring home upgrades

In house therapy, your house is considered to be a family member. A critical part of establishing a good relationship with this family member is to have open communication and send it the right signals.

The more we all open up to the possibility that everything is truly energy, the more we’ll begin to see possibilities and opportunities pouring in!

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Want to learn more about the Soulful Visionary Collective? Visit amybabish.com for details or Join the waitlist here: https://amy-babish.ck.page/800101e843

Transcript

Tanya [00:01:26]:

Thank you.

Tom [00:01:27]:

Thanks.

Tanya [00:01:27]:

Happy to be here.

Amy Babish [00:01:30]:

So I always like to ask, like, what's alive in my guests? What's your intention for our work today? And when it comes to house therapy, the intention is what really forms the process. So, yes, we're going to be focusing on your home and the land, but for our conversation today, for this podcast episode, I'd like us to just, like, dig into, like, the one to three goals that you'd like to work on around house therapy.

Tanya [00:01:57]:

I think what we've discussed and certainly what's most present in my mind and my heart, you know, my heart's feeling strongly, vibrating strongly. It's just the family. We're creating this new home. The space, like, this is just a chance to create a family beyond my wildest dreams. It's not something I grew up thinking about or believing I could have. So this is. It's like, brand new to me to think about having a equal partnership and having kids in my life in this way. So it's. It really is this, like, leaping into a new phase of life?

Amy Babish [00:02:42]:

Oh, I. I feel that in my heart so profoundly. How does that land for you, Tom? Hearing your beloved share that goal?

Tom [00:02:50]:

Yeah, it. It equally resonates with me in a. In a couple of ways. You know, we've talked a lot about being full people in each of our own selves and in our own lives, and then Creating a shared space that is, you know. Yeah. Like she said, equally both of ours, something that we co. Make together. And so that's, that's very exciting to me. You know, I, I grew up in a family that had large gatherings. I grew up in a family that, you know, holidays were many cousins and multiple generations. And so, yeah, having a space, looking forward to, you know, being able to move through periods where I was and I haven't been able to sort of fully function in the way I want to and step into a year in which, you know, I am able to do that. And that includes hosting friends and families in a space that, you know. Yeah, is, is ours that we chose, that we are making. It's very exciting.

Amy Babish [00:04:11]:

This is amazing. This is amazing. So just to kind of. We'll start with the basics. In house therapy, your house is considered to be a family member. So it's. I recommend as a first step after today's episode, if you don't have you, if you haven't already done this, is that you find out the name of your home and do you know what, what year your home was built in.

Tanya [00:04:38]:

About 1912, I want to say 1910. Right around 19.

Amy Babish [00:04:44]:

That era. That era. So when we think about like what's our home's name? Because we're in modern times, it's oftentimes like the home will share its name from that era. So I've had other guests on other clients in house therapy who have homes from the 1900s, 1910s, and they're sometimes like very old fashioned names like Lily Rose or Mary Rose or you know, very kind of old fashioned names. So that's a really fun part of this process and that will be like a first step of like you're building a relationship with your home in this process. So you're co creating a life together in this home. And your home gets to be an integral part of welcoming and like graciously holding all the gatherings and building this beautiful relationship between the two of you and, and your kids. Right. So when I see your home, it's beautiful. It's multiple levels, it's brick, it's like very, it's very much like a statement home of like, we're solid, we got you. Right? And, and it has a lot of like what I call like nooks and crannies. And your home is also in a city. And I'm sure that I've known Tanya for a while. I'm sure you know the indigenous land that you're on. But for privacy, we're not sharing that, but when I look at your home, I have a sense that it's seen something also. Now knowing its age, it's seen some things. And so the first recommendation I have before we get into kind of like the nuance of how to help you with house therapy with your goal is every home, especially a home that's older, carries what we call predecessor qi or energy. Chi is another word for energy. And so sometimes we're, we're, we're able to know the history of the home and sometimes we don't. And we do know about the land that you're on, that that land has seen a lot, a lot of things. And so even if the previous homeowners of your home, everything was, you know, a certain way, the land itself was kind of carrying a lot of really good things and a lot of, a lot of conflict. And so you're in America. I have listeners from all over the world. In many places, not just in America, there has been, you know, a lot of complexity. So in America, we always consider the indigenous Americans that the unceded land that we're on. And then the second layer that we consider are the enslaved people who were brought here without choice, but also many of them often lovingly steward the land that we're on. So there's this really complex experience of being on land that was taken, but it oftentimes created a lot of good things too. And so for any, any of the predecessor qi outside of your home, because you're in it, you're in a, you're in a denser part, you're close to a city. We kind of think about everything that's coming through your front door. All the energy that's coming through, it's really impacted by kind of like in a target or a bullseye. The closer that we get into the house, that more directly impacts what's coming through the front door. So we look at a three mile radius. And so in your three mile radius, I looked before we met today, it seems like you have two major highways. They seem, they kind of go like this. They might not be like major for other people in the world, but there's like, seems like two or three lanes for each of them. And then you have like a lot of businesses. And so all of these different things are part of what's coming in and out of our house. Like when we go out into the world, we're taking our energy out and it's being dispersed. But then also when we come in. So the first, the first thing I'M going to recommend is that you do a land clearing. And the land clearing is going to help anything that is not in the highest alignment for your family, for your house, it's just going to get permission to take a step outside of your land. And so I will send that process to you. It's a transcendental process. I will send it to you after our show. And that kind of process, I'll have all the parameters of like, what, what time of day it's best to do it, all the kind of specifications so that it's done in like, right relationship with what's happening. So it's not like a punishment, it's not like a kind of get out. It's like we're going to respect that your, your family is going to be in right relationship with the land, your family is going to be right in relationship with home. And any, any souls that are in limbo or that have not kind of been freed, this is an opportunity in this process to, to free them. So that's really important as a first, first step. And then the second step, I would say is you have this like really stately opening to your home. And I absolutely love that you have the second kind of like double door that unifies the doors. Because when we have double doors, which those are common in many different places, we have double doors at the front, or we call it the mouth of Qi. Like the mouth of the energy coming in, it can sometimes create like arguing voices, like, which door are we going to pull first? Is my voice more important or is your voice more important? So in your unique situation, I love that the previous owner or owners, however far back, they put like, I'm not going to disclose the detail because of confidentiality and privacy, but they put a solution for that, which is genius, which unifies the doors. So anytime you are going to consider upgrading, do not. If you're not going to change the doors themselves, don't get rid of that outer piece because that really is like, it's a, it's a built in like gem of your home. And if you are going to adorn those doors at all, always do it in a way that's like unifying it. So two wreaths or two wreath swag or we don't want to just like favor one door or the other because what can happen, Just like I said, you're in a relationship with your home. When we get into a relationship, we're always in the honeymoon phase until we aren't. And so your home is going to put its Best foot forward for a long time. And depending on how complex, just like people are in a, in a real relationship or a new job and an everyday kind of experience, it takes like six to nine months to get to know somebody before they kind of let their honeymoon ish shelf down. When things are more complicated, it takes a longer period of time. When someone carries more complexity or they've been through more things or been through more trauma. And the same is true for our homes. So you guys, you guys haven't been there for that long when we're recording this. So you're still in the honeymoon phase with your house. And so some of this is, I'm not saying it to kind of invoke it, but we're kind of just based on all of the patterns and all the rhythms that we know about how houses are in relationship with themselves and with people and families. These are just kind of. Some things are going to be like we're just going to put a pin in it and just remember that, that, that perspective. And if, if we do start to have kind of any challenging conversations between us or us and the kids, we're going to look at maybe the upgrade we should do is in unifying the door. And so health therapy is never dependent on money. So you can always be like in the meantime like tending to creative solutions for some people. If, if that was like a pre existing experience for you, I would say picking one of those doors that becomes one door and then sometimes they put like glass on the side of it, like they flank it with wood and glass. So that will take up the space of the two doors. But that doesn't, it doesn't feel urgent at this time. But in the future you can relate back to this conversation be like oh maybe that's the upgrade we will make this year. So some of these might be long term considerations. So how do these first two kind of recommendations land for you?

Tanya [00:13:07]:

I am so eager to get in right relationship with the land. Like it's. We don't have a large plot of land. You know, it's just kind of the, the small grass and everything kind of hugging around the house, a little bit of a yard. And it's felt like it's something I really look forward to being outside, to creating a space where we can be outside with, you know, expend extending hospitality and time with friends and kids and, and just it needs that tending. It feels a little quiet right now. So I do look forward to that. And a question that came up for me is, you know, there's on. We are in a city and there's ongoing conflicts of power and people and injuries done. And so just wondering, like, after we do this kind of predecessor Qi process, just bringing life and being out there, does that kind of just help keep the relationship up? And. And, you know, there's just ongoing challenges and so wanting to not let that harm linger, but just be doing our best to steward good relationship.

Amy Babish [00:14:30]:

I love this question. And yes, this, this process, you don't have to do it. You do it once and it's done. But there are other layers of things. So being out there, intending for land. A lot of people, when they learn about house therapy and feng shui, they, like, want to go inside their house and make their house perfect. But the impact of your. Of your. Whatever greenery you have outside of your home or your balcony, this is not just about having land that impacts like 80%, 70 to 80% of the energy that's coming in. So what is in your direct purview outside of the home? Because you're magnetizing all like we talked about, that's three miles. It's like accumulating or compounding right as it comes through your front door. So you can think about it almost as like it's transmuting things. So the more you invest, you have a front and a backyard, whatever space for the listeners, whatever space they do have. You are like making a deposit, like in a bank, but it's in the deposit of the collective, not just your land, but all the collectively. And as it interconnects, like I am making a deposit for whatever intentions we have, like peace and harmony and welcoming and right relationship and finding solutions to things that feel immovable. And I know a bit about the place that you're in, but in many places in America, there's. And in the world, there's just so much conflict and confusion around power. So you can be like every single upgrade or plant or everything you do, you can make it both for your family, in your home and for the collective. So it's like always the both and. And Tanya. Tanya knows that I did an upgrade to my front yard and I have a magic native plant garden. And I don't have. It's no mo. So there's no. There's no gr. And literally the joy that it brings to everybody. People come down island a cul de sac, which is a chi challenge of its own. People will walk down to see our yard. Every kind of post person, delivery person, uber eats whoever it is. They're like, can I take A picture of your yard. It just brings me so much joy every time I come here. And so not that everyone has to have a native plant extreme, which you could see of me on Instagram, but, but everything that you do, people coming towards or passing by will feel it. And I know Tanya very well and she, she has that magic. So she'll tanya fy it. And it's like really like you can start to ask the land because the land knows about everything. The land knows about the conflicts, the, the land knows about the power dynamics. And so when you really start to attune to the land, it can start to be like, oh, oh. You know, this kind of plant would bring a lot of joy to some people who haven't seen this for a long time. Or you could have a healing herb garden. Like, you are, you are very intuitive, you are very tapped in. And so I think just your own way of listening, you'll bring a lot of like really good deposits into this land. No matter if it's plants or if it's adornment or like table structures for people to gather. All of that is it will magnetize good energy. And it doesn't just, we don't absorb it and it becomes ours. It's like an infinity loop. So we entice it and we invite it there and then it goes back out by anybody who's passing by. And one of the good things about having the highways and the more busy roadways that energetically is like water, it's like rushing water. So it will take things quick in and out, in and out. And you're not directly, you're not directly from with it, but it's, it's within the three mile sector. So the more you place both in your front yard and the backyard, the more it's going to buffer. Buffer from it kind of just being swept away in that energetic pool like the, like the tides with, with the roadways. Um, so really kind of another layer of this, which I think is going to be helpful for you too, is our front yards always represent our present day. So, you know, in terms of time and energy, sometimes when we're moving into a new house, like we have so many things we want to get done. It's like my energetic ROI by investing first in like your front stoop area, I would say flanking your door, that beautiful door we just described, flanking it with either potted plants or something that's really meaningful for the two of you. Because energy is like a trick or treater. It's like, do I want to go up to this house, or is it like, womp, womp. Nothing's happening here. So you want to have a beautiful, like, welcome mat. You never want to put your name on a welcome mat because that means, like, the energy is stomping all over you guys, which we don't want. And then you can, you can just kind of be like, oh, we want the energy to feel welcome here. We want it to be like, oh, this is the place we want to stop at. We want to come on in so that. That judging that whole front area will. Will be huge. The second thing I would recommend is you want to. You want to invite, like, curiosity and, like, we want to know that it's. It's your house. But you don't have to be like, this is Amy Babish's house. It doesn't have to be in, like, those kind of concrete terms, but, like, is your flavor being expressed there? Is your personality being. Or are there intentions? Like, and it doesn't. It can be kind of hidden in plain sight. Anything in the front yard. So it might be like you plant some flowers along that front edge or, or, you know, you get to be creative and express however you want, but the front yard will help you with the present day, and the present day is ever evolving. So any questions about this, this first. This first layer with this outdoors.

Tanya [00:20:23]:

No, no, that's great. That's great.

Amy Babish [00:20:26]:

In the backyard. It represents the future. So anything you plant in the, in the backyard is like, I'm trusting that this will. This will unfold for us whenever in kind of like that. What we might call divine timing, it's going to unfold, but it's not like feng shui and health therapy are never transactional. So it's always going to be compounding and just energetically what we put into our backyard, just like it's going to be coming to us at some point in the future. Okay, our next. Our next area with your home is you have a. A beautiful entryway. It's very spacious. And just to kind of describe it for the viewers, different, different rooms kind of branch off from the main. I don't know if there's a more formal word, Tanya or Tom. Do you have a word for that? Like the entryway foyer? Yes. Yes, we're in a foyer.

Tanya [00:21:22]:

The grand entry. It feels.

Amy Babish [00:21:25]:

It feels very grand. This house definitely has some, like, I have some standards. I feel that with this house. And you have. You have this beautiful staircase at the back of the foyer, but it's still kind of like it's the first thing that hits you when you come in. And I'm just going to pull it up. The pictures that you shared with me so I am front and center with it with her or him. So when we open your. Your grand two double front doors, you have a chandelier, and then these, these pictures are. I'm sure you've done other things since you've sent these pictures, but there was a circular rug and then you have this staircase that's quite grand in the middle, in the middle of the, of the entryway. And it goes up and then it, it has a second, like a little landing and then it goes up even higher. Am I, am I articulating that? Yes, in a way that, that resonates. Okay. So I have had this kind of. Not this kind of staircase, but I've had a dynamic like this in another home. So I'm speaking from this with humility. And we're going to talk about what. What. Every house has challenges and every house has gifts. So when we have a staircase that no matter how small or big our scale of our home is when we open the front door and the staircase is kind of like the first thing we see that creates a challenge. And so what can happen over time is that all of the energy that you're kind of building and it's. Things are like, I'm depositing chi, and it's great. What can happen with this kind of staircase is that the energy can roll out the front door because it's, it's. It's called rushing qi. So just like rushing water. Because another, another way to talk about chi is that it's just like water. Water will go to its lowest point and water pools, but it's harder to get it upstairs. So with, with what's happening. I love what the previous owner had with that circular rug. This is a great thing to have right there. So in terms of, like, how can I help circulate the chi and slow it down. The first thing I recommend is placing, like a circular table there with a circular rug. And that's like, it doesn't matter. It's not. Doesn't have to be super expensive. I'm seeing a thumbs up from you. T. Tanya, tell us more.

Tanya [00:23:45]:

Done and done. Tom took care of that. It was a dream for me and he made it happen.

Tom [00:23:50]:

Yay for estate sales.

Amy Babish [00:23:52]:

That's right. You're. I felt that that was probably a really good resource you have where you're based. And I'm sure there's beautiful pieces. So when we do something like this. You want to go back to the. Both the table and the rug, and you're going to have a little intention conversation with your home and the table and the rug. And so everything is done with intention. So it's just like you're. You're reading somebody into the family. So it's like, hey, guys, I realize that, you know, in the past, maybe the energy has, like, just kind of come out the door in this house. And it probably makes you sad because you see people kind of miss opportunities or get run down. Those are some of the things like that it looks like energetically or in real life. And so you can have compassion because your house has been through a lot. It's old. Right. It's like a great. You're talking to a grandparent or a great grandparent. Like, your house has seen some things, and so you are bringing consciousness to this house in a way. It's like, oh, someone actually is listening. It's not going to happen the same way again. So it's like really heartfelt and really tender to think about it that way. So when you talk about talk, talk to the house, have the conversation, like the family member about the table and the rug, it's to say, we want to kind of just like spin the wheel. When the energy comes in, we're going to give an opportunity to go around rather than right out the door. And so you're kind of giving an a prompt to the energy into the house, because the house is like, I'll. I'll help with that. Rather than it just going out the door, like, maybe it spins around and it goes to the piano room, or maybe it spins around and goes to this room. So you're giving the house kind of, like possibilities that it didn't have before. How does that land?

Tanya [00:25:35]:

Good. Yeah, I like that. Because there's so many place directions it could go from. Yeah.

Amy Babish [00:25:41]:

Rather than just like straight out and the chandelier, whatever. Whatever you choose to have there, that's also like, it's lifting the energy up that light. It's like, ooh. The energy is like, do I really want to leave this house? There's this pretty thing. I want to stay here and linger a little bit more. So those that you already had that or there, or you're going to upgrade that or make it your own. That's another great thing. I would not change that. The next. The next layer is getting the energy then up those stairs. So those are where your bedrooms are. And in terms of, like, building a home, that feels, like, really, like, unified and resourceful for you and the kids and any guests you have. Getting energy up to where people sleep is important, and so there are many different ways to do it. You can use artwork kind of along the different, like, stairwell pieces, and you could use twinkle lights, which might be some flavor. You can use color. And if at any point, I don't. I don't have a clear sense of this, because you haven't lived there that long. But if any point you see people starting to, like, slide down the stairs or. Or pets that slide down the stairs, that's another way to let us know that the. The energy or the chi is still rushing too much. And so at that point, I recommend you can get, like, all different kinds of, like, carpet runners. Like, you don't have to do an. A continuous one, but they have all kinds of solutions now that would help to slow the energy down. And I just had to do this. I have a split level at my house. Someone at my retreat slipped a little bit, and I was like, oh, this is the sign. I need to take care of this. And so I have wool runners now on some of my stairs because I have so many different layers. But that will just. That's just, like, enough to slow it down so it doesn't become a hazard physically or just energetically. Things are just still coming out. Still coming out. So any. Any questions about the stairs? No. Okay, our next place that I want to go to. Oh, go ahead, Tanya.

Tanya [00:27:53]:

Yeah, I think I like the idea of, you know, giving us a chance to use the artwork and color and lights. I think we have a vision or a desire for all of that and then kind of giving it a breathing space, because already there's some slipping and things happening. But I'm wondering if, with the life we're bringing in, if we're then established or we move to the next. The next step of slowing the energy down.

Amy Babish [00:28:26]:

Yeah. So you'll see. And, like, sometimes it's the energy, you know, I don't want anyone to have to slip. But that's, like. Kind of like one of, like, the last ways to know. So the other ways that when. When that rushing chi kind of comes out, the house is like an opportunity comes in, and then it's, like, gone. That's another. That's another way that as a house therapist and as a feng shui consultant, I can kind of sense, like, something's happening with those stairs. So it doesn't always. It's not always gonna be that people are slipping or falling. Like, we don't have to go to that, that length, but like, it could be like, oh, I. I was supposed to meet with somebody and like, they just. We had it and then it's canceled. So it doesn't. We don't have to have like the huge exclamation point experience. It could be much more subtle to know that. That, that is defin pattern, that energetic pattern. And I think this goes without saying, but, like, just like every relationship has gifts and challenges, every house does. So this house chose you too, just as much as you chose it. So there are a lot of gifts that are going to come through in this house and whatever upgrades are here for each of you, and the relationship itself are going to come through the house. So sometimes we say that the house takes a hit for us. And so certain things, like the house is going to show you. It's like, grandma, I'm hurting in this way. But it's really about the family system. The same thing will happen with the house. And so rather than it playing out between you two or in your relationship, the house is going to show you. And so when we take care of the house, we're also taking care of ourselves and the relationship. So I didn't grow up knowing about this. So it has been life changing to be able to teach this to my own daughter, to teach us, the clients, because it doesn't always have to be like, all our fault. Like, we don't have to have a conflict in your relationship. Like, we don't have to go to that degree. Like, it can be something like, oh, my house just needs. We'll stay runners. Like, it can be that simple. So that, that's like a very, like, I think, liberating and like very gentle way of moving through relationship that I think is a long lost process for a lot of different people. And I can see that your home will be very willing in that way. Okay, I'm gonna. Do you have any, Any. You can always kind of just chime in and interrupt me. Like, you guys are just. I can see that we don't have a video on my podcast, but I could see you guys are just taking everything in.

Tanya [00:30:54]:

We are. I feel that. Yeah.

Amy Babish [00:30:57]:

Okay. Okay. So our next place that we're gonna look at, we're not going to spend a lot of time here, but I want to give this huge shout out before we go upstairs. Being in command position, which means you can see from where you are without turning your head, the door in three places in your home are like, it's very Rare in American homes, you have this in your kitchen. So the way your stove is oriented, you're in command. So the open, like, there's a couple different openings for your. Your kitchen, so that's another. Another, another layer. But you can see the opportunities coming. You don't have to, like, turn your back as. As most Americans do in their kitchens to see who's coming in. And so from a nervous system perspective, there's so much more safety, and we have safety. The kitchen, no matter where it is in the home, always represents wealth and health. So I can feel in this home that there will be a lot of opportunities for you to be really healthy and, like, see the opportunities for health and to see the opportunities for wealth really easily and to mitigate any challenges. Like, they won't. It doesn't have to, again, get to, like, that nth degree or, like, really serious exclamation point place for you to pay attention. Like, it's going to be quite easy in that way, which is super wonderful and very, very rare. So this is another gem of this house. The next place I'm going to go up to is the primary bedroom. So this is the second place that we want to be in command. And I'm not sure which bedroom you guys chose based on all the, all the pictures I got. Are you in. In the bedroom that has the, the red, like, framework up here? Okay. I don't, I don't know that detail, but it's. It's a red detail in this picture. And did you keep the bed in that direction?

Tom [00:32:52]:

Yes, the bed is in front of that window.

Amy Babish [00:32:54]:

Okay.

Tom [00:32:55]:

The red is still there, though. I think there's plans to have the red transmute into the same color as the rest of the wall.

Amy Babish [00:33:05]:

That was just a unique choice, and it feels like it's an era choice from somebody. So God bless them. And we're going to talk. We're going to talk.

Tom [00:33:14]:

They painted the rest of the walls, and it's kind of difficult to get to that strip between the molding.

Amy Babish [00:33:19]:

Yep, yep. Yeah, it's, it's. It's a unique choice. So you have a ton of light in your, in your, in your space, in your bedroom. And what I'm going to share with you is. So I, I have some of these things, and they're not like, make or break, but when you open the door to your bedroom, you also see the, the window so kind of similar to your front door. It's like when you open up your bedroom door, the energy is wanting to go, like, energy like wants to go to the direct point. So instead of being pulled in your bedroom, it has these two windows and then that separate room where it also is like, do I dart here, do I dart there, Do I dart there? Like, it's like so many choices. So we wanna, we wanna with your bedroom. Our bedrooms are always the sanctuary. And so this is the place where we have, we tell our home that we're the priority. And so before you work on other rooms in the house, I always recommend to clients that we want to work on our bedroom because it's like I matter. I'm not going into over giving or over functioning or anything like that. Like, and it can be a metaphor for like. But I want to take care of everyone else except for me. It's really important to establish that relationship with the house. And then in terms of like the energy kind of wanting to sneak out through those places. Having artwork that anchors, like, there's current artwork that I know is not yours, but from those other pictures. Having artwork that symbolizes what you want for each other in your relationship. That's the artwork I would put on the wall. And I would put it where the, the past artwork was in a way that like there. Because that wall seems a little bit bigger than what's on the other side. But it could be the picture. You want to have enough wall space. But like when anything on our walls is, are giving messages just like a grandmother's, it's like I'm paying attention. You didn't have to tell me, but I know what that meant. That's. That's what is happening in your home. So we want to have artwork that represents where you're headed. Like the aspiration of like, we want to grow in our relationship. We want to deepen. And so it might be a quote, it might be a place you want to go to. It might be. We want it to be about your partnership. Because in the bedroom it's like intimacy and sleep. That's what happens in the bedroom. So we're not going to have like pictures of family. We're not going to have ancestors in there because that's like everyone's going to bed with us. We don't want that. So those pictures go elsewhere. But having something there to help anchor the room, that would be really, really helpful. I don't know if you're planning to keep the, the ceiling fan. We could talk about that.

Tanya [00:36:02]:

It's currently there. I would love to update the ceiling fans. It's. It feels very. I don't know if it's 80s or 90s, but it's dark, it's. It's kind of big. A large piece.

Amy Babish [00:36:21]:

I was feeling 90s or 80s to myself. So with the thing. So I know you're in a place that gets hotter and so I can understand the need for these. What happens when we have a ceiling fan over where we sleep? The ceiling fan kind of gets into a dynamic. We call it cutting G. And so even though this ceiling fan, the current model is wood and metal, the blades of a ceiling fan cut energy. And over time that can really impact sleep. And so if you're able to, your rooms are quite spacious as you're able to have a fan that's on the floor that's much more gentle on our system when we're sleeping than something over our head. Even though it's not like right over your head, it's in the middle of the room. That would be a recommendation. And if you choose to, you still like, we need the ceiling fan. Amy. It's really hot here. There's a remedy I can recommend at a later. A later point that I'm happy to share. Right. The. The other, the other recommendation I would have is both with kind of like that whole wall of windows, like the one right behind your bed, the one to the side, and that other. The kind of like the L shape where I can see the windows on that. I would recommend that you place something transcendental and I'll give you that recommendation afterwards. But it's going to help the energy know. It's like a stop sign for the energy. Like, rather than like, I want to go outside. You guys did so many great things in the front yard. Let me go out there. It's like it's going to help the energy to stay in, which will then help you sleep more, be more rested. So then you can kind of have a bigger life, a big, bigger, fuller life. And on the other side, I'm not sure what you plan to put into that, that other little room. Do you have a. Do you have a sense of what you're. What you're putting in the other little room?

Tom [00:38:15]:

Adjacent room, a library sitting reading area. There are these built in shelves that are pretty well full of books. And then in kitty stuff for the cats, cat trees and they like to climb. They love the windows.

Amy Babish [00:38:34]:

Lovely. If, if at all, it becomes too much energy with the books. I would recommend that you place like, I'm sure you could find something lovely but like curtain panels on the other side to help that energy stay in that space. At night when you sleep. So I think that's a great use of the space overall. But sometimes, especially when we're energy sensitive, like, this is something that can really help with that kind of boundary. And then I see the previous owner's choice of having the exercise equipment in the bedroom, and I don't think that's your choice, but just sharing that. For any listeners who might be questioning that, we really want the bedroom to focus on rest, rejuvenation, and then intimacy or play, but not in an exercise kind of way. Exercise equipment kind of way. So you don't want to have that. And then in terms of, like, unifying the wall, red is a beautiful color. I don't think that you're gonna go with red because I. I know. I know you're both. You're both in red today, and I'm in a shade of red, which is wonderful. But red has a lot of energy, and that. That is, like, great for intimacy. But, like, in terms of sleep, it can really be disruptive for sleep. So I wouldn't recommend, like, you have some, like, red artwork if you. If that's, you know, your flavor. But I wouldn't do the whole bedroom in red because it would be just. Just too much intensity for your nervous systems. Any other questions about the bedroom or sanctuary?

Tom [00:40:14]:

Sure. I mean, I. I think in terms of what you're saying about investing in that, I think that's the. You know, we have this huge space for a closet.

Amy Babish [00:40:26]:

Okay.

Tom [00:40:27]:

Has five doors when you stand inside of it. And so trying to figure out how to minimize the doors and maximize, you know, wall space for a really luxurious closet feel, I think is something we've talked about wanting to do. And. Yeah. To also really just make it feel like a space that. Yeah. Is really holding for Tanya and it's.

Tanya [00:40:59]:

Kind of expanding our master suite, you know, like, when we sat down together, I feel good. Just based off of your recommendations. Like, we're like. Yeah. What we're gonna do first is make our space really. Yeah. The priority. So. Yeah. Creating that beautiful. What we hope to do first, I think, is that, you know, closet space to prioritize, you know, just our sanctuary, I think, is how it helps. Helps that space feel in line with. Yeah. Prioritizing us and what makes us feel good and together and luxurious.

Amy Babish [00:41:39]:

Yes. A recommendation is like, whatever was. Whatever's in your budget, you want the highest thread count next to your skin. Like, if you're a linen person, like, the best quality linen. If you're a bamboo person, best quality bamboo it's not like one. One texture, but like what is closest to your skin is going to be what you're absorbing. So really, like, really make that, like, super. That is a wonderful priority to have in terms of return on investment. I didn't. I didn't know there were so many doors. I could see the, the other double doors. So again, we're kind of coming up with doors. And so doors and windows, like if it's a cabinet or an actual door, those all represent communication. And so I know you're in a process that is complicated and there's probably a lot of voices in that process. So the priority that you have around, like, unifying that space so that it's a sanctuary and not having so many doors, like you've hit. You've hit the nail on the head, like, super important. And so even with like the other doors that are going into the library kind of space, really making sure you unify them. So it's like, even if it's just with intention, like, we're unifying the space and you want to use like the one primary door and then those kind of five other doors for this space that you're going to make into this beautiful kind of sitting room closet. You want to, if possible, even get some drywall to help close the doors, whatever that was. To me, it feels like it's very like predecessor chi. And so I will also be giving you a process to help clear the predecessor qi in the house and raise the chi in general. I should have mentioned that earlier on, but I didn't. In all the beautiful pictures she said, I didn't know about that, that closet dynamic, but that's. I'm sure there's a lot of nooks and crannies I don't know about. Really important to speak with the house of, like, if there have been. If you've witnessed past owners or past gatherings where there are too many opinions or too many tense conversations, we want to help and we don't. We want to have. We want to have peace, we want to have harmony. We want to have, like, right relationship with power. So kind of like we're hearing what was happening outside the house. It makes complete sense to me historically, given all the context of the. Of the place that you're in, that this house also mirrors some of that internally so we can bring consciousness to it and intention, but then sometimes also like rearranging the stagnant energy that's been there because there has this. Been this repeated environmental impact both inside and outside will be really life changing for the house and then also for you and your kids. And in terms of a last place, a last place to kind of look you will. Going to give it to. To your choice. So those are my. Those are my main places. If we could look at one more space in terms of like supporting your goal of having gatherings. Gatherings really are at the heart, metaphorically, in a way, our dining room. And so you get to decide where you want to have the dining room. But I wanted to. I thought we could talk a little bit about, like, how to help with that with. With the space. Are you going to have it where the previous dining room was?

Tom [00:45:10]:

No, I think that's a space for other gatherings.

Amy Babish [00:45:13]:

I love it. I love it. If you can reference ish where you might put it, which space is it going to play into?

Tom [00:45:25]:

I think we like the idea of having the main sort of dining room table be along that row of bay windows, you know, to the right of the kitchen, if you're in that command position at the stove. So feeds into family room sitting space. Yeah. A place to feed folks and gather, meet, play games kind of stuff.

Amy Babish [00:45:57]:

I love that space because there's a table there. They had more than one table, folks. And the previous owners. So whatever. Whatever you choose, because that space seems like it lends itself to a rectangle. So if you're gonna. If you're gonna have a rectangle, the only kind of caveat around rectangle, rectangular or square shapes are those. Those corners can be quite sharp with energy. So that the energy of corners can kind of like, kind of jab some people. So whenever you are having gatherings or if you know there's gonna be someone who kind of carries that energy, I would recommend putting a tablecloth because the tablecloth alone will. Will soften the edges. It's not in a lot of people's budgets to have an oval table, but that would be the ideal for like, building, like, because there's so much in this house that it's a kind of parallel to what was happening historically around power and disagreements. And I can just see in the house how the house has lived through many of those things. So it's more than okay to have a rectangular table, but just really focus on like, bringing energy into the center of the gatherings and also of the table itself. That is like, anchoring in like, joy and community. Like, so you might put like twinkle lights on the table, or you might put candles, or you might put things that are just like, playful, like Priya Parker, who I'm sure Tanya knows She's a gathering expert, and so she has tons of things around how to create gatherings, which Tanya naturally knows how to do. But in terms of helping people to feel welcome in this house, given everything that's happened outside the house, I would be really intentional if it's friends or if it's family, because they're kind of walking through that historical soup that's in the land and also that's lived within this house. We want to be really intentional around how to really people let people know visually, but also not just with like, who they know you to be as people, but visually it will help people kind of anchor into the present moment. Like, oh, joy lives here. Oh, light and possibility live here. Oh, like play lives here. So it will help open people's systems to things that are not familiar, given the. The historical context of what has been there. Even after we. Even after we clear the chi, which I have complete and utter confidence in, it's just. It's just like another layer of mindfulness that can be really helpful.

Tom [00:48:30]:

The things you would recommend in terms of. I. I think light fixture above the table is a really open question for us. And so I don't know that we kind of have a direction we're headed in, but if there are recommendations, that's wonderful.

Amy Babish [00:48:47]:

There's a unique. For the listeners, there's a unique choice that right there currently. So just many flavors in this house, and we're looking to find your flavor which is not this. So I would recommend. So when I'm a little bit turned around when I see this picture, when we open the front door, is this space, like in the direct back, like behind the staircase?

Tom [00:49:14]:

Back and then right. And the front door is interesting because it basically looks north and so it's sort of the north east corner of the house.

Amy Babish [00:49:23]:

Yep. So. So with. With this one again, you have this huge, beautiful window. And here I would recommend, if at all possible, like in your budgeting and planning our house, like, I can see in the other room there's these beautiful shades, but it doesn't look like this. This room has the shades. Our house, it'd be like asking granny or grandma or Nona to keep her eyes open all the time so she needs to close her eyelids. And so it doesn't have to be like anything formal or heavy. But closing the blinds or the shades every night will also help to keep the energy in. So before we get to the. To the light picture, I wanted to name that because that will also help people feel like when they come into this gathering Space, the energy is not just going straight out. And the cure. The cure and remedy I give you for your bedroom, you can also do down here, because it's going to help to bring that energy in a bit more. So with the light fixture, my sense with this house is like, we really want to lift the energy. Like, one of the big focuses is lifting the energy in qi. So you want to think about a chandelier or a light picture rather than it coming down with light, which creates, like, cozy intimacy. We want to raise the energy. So you want lights that go up or light the twinkle. So it's like we. We can either think about the intention of, like, spreading the energy, which would be like more of a twinkle effect, no matter what kind of genre you choose of aesthetic, or an up light, which is like, I'm gonna lift it and, like, allow people to feel lifted when they come in this space. Does that. Does that make better sense? Yeah.

Tanya [00:50:55]:

Yeah.

Amy Babish [00:50:57]:

And I would not recommend metal, because metal is something that even though it creates a lot of structure, it can be kind of cutting when it comes to gathering. So depending on what. What elements you choose for the table itself, because there's a lot of wood in your house and you think about. We. We don't get. I don't get too much into five element theory on the. On the podcast, but it's important given the. The context of your home. Conflict often deals with people cutting with their words. And so metal energy cuts wood. And so I would like something that you have tons of greenery and earth supports wood to grow and its growth. But in terms of this, the. The quadrant of your home that this part is in, it's actually the relationship quadrant. So I love this for gatherings for your dining room table. And the element most at home here is. Is Earth. So anything that's going to feel like creating kind of like that stability and the uplight, I think given all the factors in the home, I think the uplight is going to help to lift things up and in a really gentle way. And so you could think about color in terms of earth, you could think about, like, the material. But I just have a sense that metal might be too harsh given the. The context of what this house has lived through and what. What has been around. Great.

Tanya [00:52:29]:

That will be a beautiful adventure. Search to. To find. And I'd love to share it with you when we.

Amy Babish [00:52:38]:

I would love that. I would love that. And, you know, I can. I can sense once you find out your home's name, I can feel this house is going to be like giving you some wild goose chases. Be like, okay, check out this estate sale or okay, look at this or you know, I would really love this. And so I can feel the house is going to be guiding you in this co creation process because I can tell this house does not like the 80s and 90s decor. It's going to be a relief for your house. So I think it's gonna be a lot of fun and really meaningful. And I, I do have a sense that when the kids get involved, the kids are going to be really connected to the house because the house really, I can feel like the house just loves to have people and it loves to like, it does have that grandmother feel like thinking about like grandmother having kids over. Like we're gonna break all the rules, we're gonna have fun. Like I can feel the house really anticipating, knowing that, knowing that the kids will eventually be there and also kind of thinking about like another, another tip for you with this house. Giving, giving, given the context of the kids. It's like we want to tell grandma or grandpa these things, these changes are coming. We don't know when, we don't know how, but like we're helping them to anticipate in a way that a grandparent might need like a couple reminders of like this is how it is right now. And then we plan on, you know, upgrading the closet and then we, this, you know, the kids are going to do this and so it's not going to be such like a shock to the grandparents system. We want to be like really like gentle. And some houses are very formal. I don't know your house yet, but some houses like my house, it's older than, or younger than your house. So it's from the 60s. My house, my house's era is the director era. And so she's a woman, a female and she likes to be read in like very formally. And so my partner and I will write like a project management style letter of what we plan to do and like what we're going to do and what the timeline is. And we read it out loud to her and she's much more like accepting of what we do with the house rather than throwing us a like laundry list of like I have been neglected for all these years. Here's everything we need to do. It's like, oh, she knows we're going to be mindfully taking care of her. And I have a sense that your house is not a director. But she hasn't been like brought in as a family member or as A grandma, she's kind of been left to be on her own. So that, that feels very important for, for your house.

Tanya [00:55:20]:

It makes me think of. So we have two fireplaces that are inoperable and we, we keep saying to each other, should we get them working? I, I think there's, you know, I don't know if the house is telling us this or it's just our desire like to have the fireplace. I could see us doing our, our own connections with our, each other, the family and others with that working. And, and it isn't, I mean we just, you know, we just got here. But it does, it is a question for me about is that a way like having a fireplace working, is that helping lift the chi or otherwise just being in right relationship or communication.

Amy Babish [00:56:14]:

So the fireplace is super important and it's like one of those things of like if we, if we look at it metaphorically, the fire is that element is associated with the heart. And so we can energetically sense that the house's heart has been stopped for a while. And you know, there's different parts of the heart. The heart also deals with boundaries like the pericardium. And so when we have a rigid heart where there's not a lot of blood coming in, like that can also cause a lot of hardship with communication and letting, giving and receiving love. And so you know, in terms of like the longer term process with the house, I would say like we're willing, we're willing to get this, your heart started again. And we're sorry that you've been so disconnected from your also like internal fire. So it's like imagine if you didn't have the fire in your own love for each other. Like that'd be so sad, right? It'd be heartbreaking. And so whatever that is in this house, whatever story is related to it, whatever interpersonally was happening with people where they, their hearts were shut down, I can sense that this house has lived through that and just shut, shut its own heart down too. So it's super important. And if it's just like not viable because of chimney assessment or that, then it's like how can we make like metaphoric fire here or bring something in where it's like we put gas fire in or electric fire, something that is still like honoring the importance of fire for the house, even if it can't be like a full on wood fireplace.

Tanya [00:57:56]:

Thank you.

Amy Babish [00:58:00]:

Are there any other questions, any other things you want to name before we close up today?

Tom [00:58:09]:

Right, good.

Tanya [00:58:11]:

You're good. I, I just Think it was a really great guiding, kind of like a guiding and a hug, I want to say almost like an enclosure, because I think we've been so. Just feeding intention into the house and so, so many different, like both rituals. And then I just think in so many of our conversations, just we've brought so much about what this symbolizes and, and just brought that into the physical with every choice we're making about adding to the house and. And what we want to do and how. How we're treating it. So this is. I mean, it's pretty remarkable. And then to be in this open forum with you talking about it in this way, I mean, I. It's really remarkable to me that we can have this conversation and be open to this other level of relationship with land and a house. This isn't something I grew up hearing about or knowing about in a real way. So I appreciate. You know, it feels like so many steps beyond normal, not normal, but accepted kind of conversation or understanding. It feels like we're really on the edge of how we relate to each other and energies in the world and how we can bring in mystery and magic, you know, in these daily ways. So it feels profound.

Amy Babish [00:59:55]:

Oh, thank you. Thank you to you both for trusting me and what I believe to be true. And what, you know, many ancient texts speak of is like, these are just long lost traditions that we've disconnected from. So in our, you know, the 10,000 that became came before each of us. Somewhere in our lineage, we know how to do this. And I also think about knowing you so well, Tanya. It's like the ancestors that long for this kind of home, long for this kind of family, whatever that's about, they're getting that through you, through. Through both your choice to have something really different. And it's not a coincidence that it's happening in a home that you're creating. So it's like the metaphor within the metaphor, and you intuitively already know, like Tom's choice to get that circular table with a circular rug. Like, there's an intuitive knowing in some of us. Like, it's like you don't have to necessarily get everything with a house therapist or Feng shui person, but then there's things that sometimes we just. They weren't passed down. It was just disconnected from different people. And I think the land longs for it. I think community longs for it. And the more that we can open to, everything is truly energy. Like, the doors hold the energy, the windows hold the energy, the land holds the energy. It's like, oh, the realization, like it's not just all left to my own lone wolf. It puts things into perspective. Like, I'm not alone in this house. I'm not alone in this community. I'm not alone in this city. I have my partner. I have this house. I have this land. We're gonna. We're gonna build something really important that's not just for us, but for everyone. I can really feel that for both of you and not knowing you so well, Tom, but I can imagine for both of your lineages. Well, I think that's. That's probably our wonderful place to close today. I would love if you've been listening, if something really lands with you or resonates, please leave a comment on whatever platform you're listening to. The Soulful Visionary Collective if you're interested in other specific kind of episodes, please drop me a line. This community is ever growing and just so much potential in every episode. For the guests as well as all the listeners. Thank you. Until we meet again. That's all for this episode of the Soulful Visionary Podcast. If you found value in today's episode and are ready to delve deeper into aligning your inner world and environment, please subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast platform. Your subscription helps us to reach more soulful visionaries like yourself, and if you've been inspired by what you heard, I'd be incredibly grateful if you could leave a review. Your feedback not only helps others discover this podcast, but also guides me in creating content that truly resonates with you. I'll catch you in the next episode as we continue to unlock the love, purpose and fulfillment you deeply.