Pickleball Tournament: Tips for Overcoming Nerves and Building Partnership

In this special episode of the Pickleball and Partnership Podcast, host Charlotte Jukes shares her emotional and mental journey leading up to an upcoming community Pickleball Tournament. Charlotte reflects on past victories, confronts feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, and discusses her preparations through meditation and positive thinking. Joined by her partners Christine and Neil, she emphasises the importance of communication, strategy, and mindset in both sports and relationships. The episode culminates with a live update from the tournament, where Charlotte and Christine celebrate their unexpected win, highlighting themes of perseverance, teamwork, and community.

00:00 Introduction to Pickleball and Partnership

00:44 Preparing for the Tournament

02:39 Dealing with Nerves and Self-Doubt

06:58 Mindfulness and Meditation Techniques

25:56 Tournament Day: Ladies' Games

27:09 Winning Strategies and Reflections

36:09 The Joy of Pickleball Community

38:15 Conclusion and Next Steps

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Music: Purple Planet Music
Thanks to Purple Planet Music for Pickleball & Partnership Intro and Outro music Purple Planet Music is a collection of music written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey.

Transcript

Charlotte Jukes: 0:10

This the pickleball and partnership podcast, the place to talk. Talk about building better connections with your partner. Learning how to communicate with each other and how to inject fun. Into your relationship all through the game of pickleball. If that sounds like your cup of tea. Pull up a chair grab your paddle and join me. Your host, Charlotte Jukes. For pickleball and partnership.

0:44

Welcome to a very special episode of Pickleball and Partnership podcast. This episode, we are actually preparing for an upcoming pickleball tournament and partway through this episode, we actually go live to the tournament day. So I have a tournament coming up this weekend. It's a community tournament. I've played in this tournament before. I've played with my ladies partner, Christine, and I've also played with Neil.

Charlotte J: 1:14

And this morning one of those Facebook memories came up on my feed and it was a photo and a post of Neil and myself. Winning in this tournament two years ago, and I felt so sad. Oh my gosh. I looked at the post, I looked at the photo of us standing there side by side and with our medals and big smiles on our faces and. I felt really sad because Neil is not able to play in this tournament this weekend. He has an injury. To his shoulder and it's been bugging him for a while and that's another story, but he's not able to play and I know he's really frustrated and a little down about that because pickleball is everything we've been doing together for the last couple of years. So yes, when I saw this post, I felt like I shouldn't have signed up for this tournament. But anyway, I have signed up. Saturday is the Ladies Games, and on Sunday it's the mixed competition. When you think, oh, this would be a great idea, whatever that is. I mean, I'm talking about a pickleball tournament, but it could be anything. It could be saying yes to a speaking engagement. It could be saying yes to presenting something new at work. It could be yes to hosting a dinner party for 20 guests, or 10 guests or two guests. It could be saying yes to. Making a dozen cupcakes for your child's school sports day but you know that feeling when you say yes. Oh my gosh, that would be so exciting. Of course I can do that. I'll take that on. Give me more. Give me more. I'm invincible. I'm super woman. I'm a super mom. I'm a super wife. I can do that. And then. When it actually comes to it, or it comes time to prepare and really start thinking about it, this voice comes into my head that says, why the heck did you say yes to this? And that was the moment I had six days ago, when Christine and I were practicing, we actually got to play outside, which was amazing. The weather is, so sporadic at the moment. One day it's nice. The next day it's bitterly cold again. But last Friday we had the opportunity to play outside and practice I hadn't played with Christine in a long time, all winter because we've been playing in different places. And so we were standing together on the court outside. And I said, what was it about this that I thought was a good idea? I mean, there's some jest in what I say because we've played in tournaments before and we've done very well, and she and I do play well together. But the nerve started to set in the realization of. What we had signed up for started to hit us, and it becomes this unraveling of this crazy in depth story that goes something like this. Why have I signed up for this? I'm feeling really nervous. I'm not going to play very well. Lots of people are going to be watching. I'm going to feel the pressure. I'm going to put myself on the spot and feel overwhelmed by this. And I feel as though I can't let my partner down and I'm going to mess up make mistakes and I'm not going to play as well as I should, I'm going to make a fool of myself and other people will judge me. And now I've been playing for over two years and I should be better than I am. I'm going to miss shots that I shouldn't miss. I am going to feel inadequate. I'm going to feel like all eyes are on me. Oh my gosh. And it goes on and on and on and on. So I don't know whether any of you have ever felt like that, maybe for a game of pickleball or a pickleball tournament or some other kind of tournament or competition, or even just some event that seemed like a good idea at the time and when it actually came to it. The panic set in. And so I'm really sitting here today. It's two days before the tournament, and I am thinking about how I have been preparing this week and how I'm preparing today and how I'm going to prepare tomorrow and the morning of both days over the weekend. For me, it looks like a lot of meditation. And connecting to that part of me that feels so resourceful, I know it's there because I can connect to it if I drop out of my head. Don't let the story take over and all those. Questions of doubt that come into my mind, I can drop out of my head and into this place in my body that I will describe as my heart center. That I can really connect with, and I know this, this is the real me. This is the me without any beliefs attached to it, without any other voices attached to it like my dad's voice or my math teacher voice. Or the girls at school that bullied me without their voices. And so this part of me feels empowered. This part of me is real and true and authentic and amazing feminine energy and amazing. Masculine energy too that gets things done. So when I connect to this part of me, and for any of you that haven't done this, you're probably thinking, what the heck is she talking about? But sometimes it's just a case of realizing that these feelings are bubbling up. Dropping out of your head, taking a moment, closing your eyes. This is what I do. Close my eyes, come out of my mind, which is driving me crazy. Drop into my body. Feel the sensations in my body. Welcome all of those sensations. They're all there for a reason. They're all part of me, and they are all welcome and really connect to that. That empowering, resourceful part of me that believes in me and has confidence and can really do anything. The sky is the limit. So I've been doing a lot of dropping into my body. Feeling the feelings, sitting with the sensations, and really just leaning into that and not making any judgements and realizing that those feelings and those thoughts are there, but they're not me. I'm separated in a way from those thoughts and feelings. There is a divide between myself and my power and the beliefs that I take on and the thoughts that go through my head. I hope that's helpful in some way for anyone coming up to something big or even something small, anything that's giving you some kind of anxiety and is distracting you from really enjoying it. Because I mean that part of. Me that said yes to this and was excited. That's the real part of me. That's the part of me that's like, yes, I want to play pickleball, I want to connect with people, I want to be outside this weekend. I want to spend time with those who I love and I have fun with. And it's going to be amazing and I know it is. As long as I don't let those voices take over and persuade me otherwise, that's what's motivating me coming up to this weekend, the sense of competition, the sense of fun, the sense of proving to myself that I can do this, win or lose. I'm showing up, I'm testing myself. I'm stepping up to the edge of where I feel comfortable because. Games are comfortable, routine things that we do in life are comfortable, but there's no growth there. Growth happens when we step to the edge of that and take that little step over and do something that feels a little bit more uncomfortable, what would make this tournament feel like a win? No matter the scoreboard. So that's what would make this tournament feel like a win. No matter what the score is, no matter how many games we win or lose, I will feel like I won if I show up number one. No, hang on. Let's backpedal a bit. If I don't get caught up in the story prior to the weekend, if I continue to connect with that power within me, connect to my resourcefulness and don't let those limiting beliefs take over. That will feel like a win. And then showing up on the day. Excited, happy, connecting with people. Smiling through it. Congratulating myself. Congratulating my partner, congratulating my opponents. Win or lose. Being happy, having fun, connecting with people, having those authentic face-to-face conversations that will make this tournament feel like a win. Absolutely. And you know what, Neil is a really good example of this. He has an injury and he's not. Able to play pickleball for a few months now, and it's getting him down. He's, obviously missing it, frustrated. He wants to be active. He's happy when he's moving and grooving and, having fun with people. But you know what he's done. He has taken this as an opportunity to come and support me, which he always does. Oh my gosh. I love him for that. He is my number one fan. He is my biggest supporter. He's amazing. But he's also taken this opportunity to do. This tournament a little bit different, and he's actually going to be the photographer for this tournament, so he has found a different purpose. He's not going there saying, Ugh, all doom and gloom. I can't play. I'm a victim. This. Isn't working for me. He's coming to support me. Of course he would, whether he's winning or losing, but he's found a different purpose and he's still going to be out there smiling and happy and connecting with people and taking photos of those crazy shots. We make mid game. He's taking photos of. People standing around, congratulating each other of people, having conversations of people being hot and sweaty and exhausted, but pushing through. He's going to take photos of people with their medals. He's going to take photos of people who participated and feel like winners medal or not. And so I really admire him for, finding this opportunity. Changing his perspective on something that could have sent him into a downward spiral and he's not allowing it to do that. He's being positive. He's found a different purpose, and I know he's going to be amazing and awesome. Them and take some great photos and maybe some not so great photos.'cause sometimes he puts his thumb over the camera lens, but that's okay. He's going to have fun and I really commend him for that. So I'm playing with Christine on Saturday. Christine and I, haven't played all winter together actually. We haven't really talked strategy. I think we know each other well enough at this point to support each other. She's amazing in her encouragement. If I miss a shot, she's very encouraging. I hope she would say the same about me. We never get frustrated with each other. And if we do, we don't show it. We are always congratulating each other on whether it was a good try, good attempt, good strategy, shame it didn't work, but whether it did or it didn't. We are always complimenting each other and finding the positive and neither of us really get to upset if we don't win a game. And so I think we are winging it a bit. The practice that we had last week really helped me see some mistakes that I was making that I haven't made. In a long time. So I'm wondering if it's just adjusting to playing outside instead of indoors. So that was helpful for me and something that I'm going to be mindful of going into the games with her on Saturday is not making those mistakes. And one of them I'll share with you, which is so bizarre that this happened. But when I serve or when my partner serves, I always stay back. I stay at the baseline until our opponents have taken their second shot, and Christine pointed it out to me that I was actually creeping forward after the serve had happened. So that's something that I'm going to be going into the games on Saturday and Sunday with. With some awareness of that to make sure that I don't creep forward. Because if the return of serve is deep, I'm then falling over the ball and not in a position to take that third shot. So that's what I'm going into the tournament with. That's what came up from our practice last week. Other than that, no, we haven't talked strategy. I don't think the tournament is serious enough for us to really sit down and figure something out. So we're just going into it with fun and some nervous excitement. Then Sunday I'm playing with Al. So normally I would play with Neil on the Sunday for the mixed doubles. But neil's really great friend and doubles men's partner, Al has agreed to step in as my partner Al and I have played before. And I love Al. He's an amazing player. He's a squash player. Firstly before pickleball, but he is an amazing player and I tell you why. I love Al. He is a great player, so yes, it was an easy choice for me to go, oh, if Neil can't play, absolutely, I would love to play with Al. And he said yes. When I asked him, actually I didn't ask him, I have to share this with you. I said to Neil, would you mind if I ask Al to be my doubles partner? And he said, yeah, no, that's fine. He was okay with that. And I said, would you mind asking Al, because I feel like it would be more respectful. To you if it was coming from you. I just wanted to share that because I think respect is so important in our marriage and in our relationship, and I do respect Neil 100%, and I know he respects me as well. And so it felt very important for me to say to Neil, I'm sorry you can't play. I know that's. Sad and upsetting for you. Do you mind if I play with someone else? I know that landed really well for Neil. He did comment on that, and so I did just want to share that with you. And that's not me giving up my power that's me being respectful of the partnership that Neil and I have and in my heart that felt like the right thing to do. I'm happy that Neil received that in the way it was given and, connected with that, Al does not get upset about things. He is always happy and having fun, and you can see that he's smiling. He speaks very softly. He always forgets the score, which I think is hilarious and when I can remember the score, I love that I can remind him of the score when he's serving. And he's just an all round lovely man. And so I'm really looking forward to playing with Al because I don't want to let him down, but I know if we don't. Win. If we don't come away with a medal, we are still going to have fun and we are still going to be laughing and enjoying ourselves, so that was an easy choice for me to want to play with Al. So we'll see how that goes on Sunday. I think the biggest unknown or the biggest, Fear I have at the moment is that the weather doesn't look that great. Saturday, the weather looks really favourable for us. I don't think it's going to be too windy. It's supposed to be 25 degrees Celsius and sunny, which is amazing. I've played in 30 Celsius and above, and that was a bit too much. But, 25 as a maximum. Sunny, not too much wind, so very favourable conditions. But Sunday, the weather doesn't look that great. That's the biggest unknown. Going into Sunday, we could have a really good day on Saturday and play could be great last year when we played the same tournament, it was actually on Sunday when Neil and I played mixed doubles. It was incredibly windy. It was crazy. It was out of the realm of being able to play pickleball outside. But you know what Neil and I did really well because one, we do communicate very well on the court. Secondly, before every single point, neil would let me know which direction the wind was coming from, the strength of the wind, so that I knew exactly what to watch for if we were serving or if we were receiving. I knew which direction the wind was going to take the ball. I knew how strong the gusts were going to be in that moment, and we did really well. We beat people that we had struggled to beat. Previously because we read the weather, we read the environment, and we communicated that to each other. So my biggest trepidation going into Sunday is if the weather is not that great, will Al and myself be able to communicate and be on the same page with what's going on with the weather conditions, I think we're going to come up against the kind of teams that we usually play with, and some are definitely better than. Myself, some are at that higher skill level, are able to really think two or three points ahead, whereas I don't know that I can necessarily do that so much. I'm more in the moment of the point that I'm playing right now. So I do think it's going to be challenging. I do think I'm going to have my work cut out for me. But I think because they're teams that. I know, there's going to be some element of familiarity there and there's going to be some element of, oh, okay, I know this particular person likes to. Do a third shot drop or, I know this particular person is not that keen when you lob to them, so maybe I'll try and bring some more LOBs into the game. So I think it's going to be very interesting. There are always in these kind of tournaments teams who show up that we haven't met before. We've never seen them play. We don't know what they're like on the court. We don't know if they're friendly or whether they're very stone faced or whether they get upset if they're losing we've come up against teams and individual players like that before and it can put you off your mental game so for the next two days, eating healthy, drinking lots of water. I'm stretching a lot. I'm stretching when I get up in the morning. I'm stretching throughout the day. I am stretching before I get into bed at night. A lot of meditation type practices, breathing, dropping out of my head into my body, feeling the sensations, welcoming them all, and anticipating and praying for good weather on Saturday, and we'll see how that goes. and I'll jump back in here again on Saturday and give you a quick update of how things are going. So until then. Oh my gosh, what a day. Oh, Christine and I are here together. We have just finished playing. It was an incredible day. One, the weather was amazing. It was so hot. It was just like the middle of summer. It was incredible. It was so much fun. We connected with so many of our. Friends, new pickleball players that we haven't met before. Ladies who just wanted to come out today and play pickleball and connect with each other and have fun. It was amazing and. Shall I tell them? Okay. Yes. Christine and I won the gold medal in our category. Woo-hoo. We are so excited. We are still buzzing, and we just wanted to jump on here and just have a quick chat. congratulations. First of all. Oh my gosh. Best partner ever. Just thinking back over the day we ended up playing eight matches against different opponents. What stood out to you most about how we played together today? What do you think?

Christine: 27:10

Wel Chai, they say that. The third time was our turn. This is the third time we entered this tournament. The first two years didn't go very well. I think that we didn't even make it to the playoffs for the first two years. I. But this one was different. We actually just decided to play it safe. We were gonna play towards the middle. We weren't gonna paint the outside lines. If there was kill shots, yes we would take them. But other than that, we just played a very. Soft and very, consistent game. And we were very consistent in where we were hitting and who we were hitting to. That was the other thing too, that we had, decided in the beginning, which was a weaker player. We were gonna isolate the weaker player. we both said we felt bad. I mean, you know, really who doesn't, but, it happens to all of us. So we isolate the weaker player. but what really stood out was just the fact that we had really good communication. In the beginning. We were just quiet because I think the nerves were got to us, but as we were playing, and we actually never lost one game until the very end, for the, gold silver medal, it was the one game that we lost and we played horrible against them. And I, I don't know what we were doing had thought that we might have had it, in the bag, pretty quick just because we had played this team before and, had beat them quite badly. but they turned around and, they beat us very badly. So the very, very last match, we just decided we were gonna play it safe. We, you know, we just kept at them. I remember once Chai, you were actually hitting to, this one lady and you would not let up, you hit it to her about four or five times, until she finally made a mistake. And that's actually the tenacity that you need in pickleball. You need to just. Relax. Just have it in your mind that you are going to hit as many balls as possible and you're gonna let them make the mistake. So if you have that in your mind when you're playing pickleball, and not to hurry the point not to speed it up when not necessary, when just wait for that perfect shot to do anything. And sometimes you don't even have to do anything at all. The other people will just make the mistake. On our very, very last point of the silver and gold medal. It was an outshot from the other team. They just hit the ball wide. And that's a horrible way to, to end a game. It's, uh, it's such a mistake that you can actually fix quite easily. But I really had to laugh at you Chai because you were so enthralled in the game. And like you could see that you were just really looking for some spots where you could actually get some good hits and you were really concentrating. As soon as that ball went out and I turned to you you had a shock look on your face. And I think I, I said to you, I said we won gold. And even then you weren't really sure, so you were just. Totally in your head which was great. It's fine to be like that. I'm I'm glad that you were really concentrating on what you were doing and yeah. Bravo we just played very, very well together. That's all.

Charlotte J: 29:57

I know that was crazy. I think, of course I knew the score. I knew it was 14. 14. I knew we had to win by one point we were serving, so I knew if we won the next shot, we won the match. But I think. You are right. I was just so focused on the game. I couldn't quite believe my eyes when they hit the ball out. It was a horrible way to end what was an amazing game with our opponents. But I think I was just in such disbelief and you turned to me and I was almost just, I was questioning myself. Did we win? Did we really win? And you said yes, we won the gold. And I was just so amazed and yeah, I had to wake myself up out of my focus and think, yes, I can relax now. We did win. That was it. So yes, that was funny. I do remember that moment too. Was there a turning point in any of our games where you felt that our teamwork just really clicked, or maybe it didn't click?

Christine: 31:00

As far as us clicking, we've always kind of clicked. I don't know. We've always had a really good energy. I think we play a lot the same. I know chai, you have actually, a very soft game in certain respects, but you can hammer it when you want to. But for me, I had to really learn how to play the soft game over the past few years. I really just wanted to hammer every ball. That's, I'm an ex badminton player, so that's what we do. I just think that we played so well together because of, me having the power and you having the soft shots. So, I don't know if there was any turning points. We definitely played it very close on, on a lot of games where there was a point differential of maybe two. At the very, very last gold silver match, we had a point differential. Won. So, it could have been anyone's game at that point, but yeah, I don't, I really can't say that we had a turning point. I think that we just dug in and we did whatever we had to do. I think you wanted the gold just as much as I wanted the gold. So I think that, it really comes down to what mindset you're in. I think what made us the winning team today was mindset. We were just determined. I think everyone, well, maybe not everyone, but I think that you and I actually play a lot better under stress. I, I think that we have to remain focused. There wasn't you know, a lot of unnecessary chitter chatter on our end either. I played with other people who said, oh, you should have done this. You should have done that. Well, you know, unless of course you can fix it immediately, then you know it's not worth. Saying to the person in the heat of a game because then of course they're really in their head and they're trying to, they're trying to change what they're doing, which can really mess you up. We did actually use a lot of strategies. Especially, when we switched unfortunately, or fortunately when we switched sides we were either, in this. Weird momentum of them getting more points. And that kind of helped us when we switched over. It changed that momentum. You know, we just decided to maybe hit to the other, the, not the weaker person so much, but the other person for a couple points, just to mix it up a little bit. Some of our serves were really hard. Some of them were soft. The one thing that we did do at the very end, like when we were really close to either winning or losing, we would make sure to tell each other. Make sure your serve is in, that is not the time to start a fancy serve and trying to get, a win on the point, on just on the serve. It comes back to that whole mindset of just being prepared to get comfortable with maybe making 50 shots until you have a shot that you can win the point, but. That is a mindset that you have to work at. It's almost like a yoga thing where you have to train your mind, you know, to say that, Hey, I am not going to rush this. I am prepared to, do any shots. I'm comfortable with myself to know that my shots are good and well placed and we're just. Gonna wait this out. So I think that that's really what we did. We just waited things out. We were calm, we kept on telling each other, we were, just to relax and be calm. Yeah, I really think that that was our strategy. Not so much the, technical part, but, tournaments are, psychological. So I think that we really, really worked on the psychological thing together very well today,

Charlotte J: 34:14

Yes, I agree. I think we were just both very encouraging of each other. We were very calm. Yeah. I 100% agree with what you said. What does this win mean to you personally?

Christine: 34:28

That's actually a really good question and you do have to decide whether you do need external validation to convince yourself or to prove to yourself that you are. A good player or maybe you have a goal. Maybe, like I, I'd won a few medals in the 3.0, so my next goal was to win medals in the 3.5 level, and then my next goal will be to win medals in the 4.0. For me, I can't really gauge on how I'm playing just by playing other people. I need that extra tournament to win. So what it means. To me, it means to me that I'm really getting focused on what I'm doing. I can actually handle stress in a tournament. I I no longer get really nervous. I just treat it like another game. I learn to relax. What the win means to me is I just, I really wanted to win gold with you we have played together for about three years or so. And like I said, this was our third time trying to win a medal at this tournament. And chai is just so great to play with, I think that we compliment each other, you know, with our styles. So what the win means to me, it means winning with a very, very good friend of mine who I love and respect very, very deeply. And it just means that I'm getting just. Closer to my goal. I mean, I'll be 59 years old this year. You know, how much longevity do I have? We don't really know as we age. So I plan on going as far as I possibly can until old father time tells me that it's not possible anymore, and that's when I'll rest. Pickleball is such a wonderful game. I was a hard, diehard badminton player for 45 years. And then when my mom got sick with Alzheimer's and I moved her to my city, she had mentioned something about playing pickleball her Alzheimer's, what a was at a very early stage. So there was. Still, she was still able to learn a new skill. She was actually, I think she was 80, ooh, maybe 85 when she stopped playing, but she played for about three years. But I actually just went with her because I thought, well, I'll get, I. You know, I'll help her, make some friends and, learn the sport. And then I started to really like it. It is a sport that anyone can play. Any sort of skill level. You can play anywhere. There are so many places that, have places to play. Even when you're traveling, you in Mexico, you can, go and play. It is such a good sport. I can't say enough about pickleball and I am so glad that I'm part of the pickleball community. I have many friends. Many comrades. Yeah, I just I can't say enough about, about pickleball.

Charlotte J: 37:11

Yes, I agree with you. And it's crazy, isn't it? Because I think if you haven't played pickleball, and I know I keep seeing odd clips here and there, and. of people saying, stop talking about pickleball. Why is everyone going so crazy about pickleball? But honestly, if you haven't played, you really haven't experienced that sense of community. And I'm sure it's there in other sports. I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying, and I think what you just said as well, Christine, is that. There is a real sense of community and connection with other women, other couples, other men. It's on a different level than I have ever experienced either. And it sounds like that's exactly what you are saying too. And I love our pickleball community. I love everyone that we played today and we just had so much fun. Thank you so much, Christine. And congratulations.

Speaker: 38:15

Thanks so much for listening today. I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did. Anything mentioned, including links, notes, and a full episode list, will be over on our website at pickleballandpartnership. buzzsprout. com. Com. If you got something outta this episode, be sure to follow or subscribe to Pickleball and Partnership on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen so that you are notified of new and upcoming episodes. And if you're finding value in this podcast, a free way to support us is to leave a five. It truly means the world to us. This will help more people access these real conversations. And if you haven't connected with myself or Neil personally, we would love to meet you and say hi over on our Facebook page. Thanks again for listening. Please tune in next week for another exciting episode of Pickleball and partnership. Remember, we're all learning, growing, and showing up in our own ways. And that's what matters most.