Pickleball & Partnership: Relationship Advice for Couples Navigating Communication, Conflict, and Connection
Welcome to Pickleball & Partnership, the weekly podcast where longtime married couple, Charlotte and Neil take you on their journey of love, laughter, and personal growth—both on and off the pickleball court. After 27+ years of marriage, they’ve found a fresh way to connect and challenge each other through this fast-growing sport, bringing a whole new level of teamwork to their relationship.
Each week, tune in to hear Charlotte and Neil share candid stories of their triumphs, frustrations, and everything in between. From hilarious mishaps on the court to humbling moments of self-discovery, these episodes offer a relatable, heartwarming, and sometimes downright funny look at how pickleball has helped them improve their communication, sharpen their teamwork, and grow a deeper appreciation for each other’s unique strengths.
Whether you're a pickleball enthusiast, in a long-term relationship, or just looking for light-hearted and inspiring stories about partnership, this podcast serves up real talk about love, life, and the game that’s brought them closer than ever.
Grab your paddle, hit subscribe, and join Charlotte and Neil each week for a fresh serve of insight, laughter, and life lessons.
Pickleball & Partnership: Relationship Advice for Couples Navigating Communication, Conflict, and Connection
Beyond the Highlight Reel: The Truth About Growth and Healing
Charlotte from Connection Coaching explores the often-overlooked 'messy middle' of personal transformation and growth - beyond the superficial Highlight Reel.
Through heartfelt stories, personal experiences, and insightful reflections, she emphasises the significance of vulnerability, resilience, and authenticity in both life's challenges and successes.
Drawing parallels with the game of pickleball, Charlotte encourages listeners to embrace their imperfect journeys, share their real stories, and build deeper connections.
This episode invites you to reflect on your own rollercoaster moments and find strength in showing up authentically, day after day.
00:00 Introduction: Embracing the Messy Middle
00:53 The Reality of Transformation
02:18 Personal Reflections and Inspirations
08:08 The Power of Vulnerability
11:13 Lessons from Pickleball
18:01 Key Takeaways and Final Thoughts
Pickleball & Partnership Facebook Page
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email: cejukes@gmail.com
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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pickleball-partnership/id1775742795
Music: Purple Planet Music
Thanks to Purple Planet Music for Pickleball & Partnership Intro and Outro music Purple Planet Music is a collection of music written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey.
Hello, it's Charlotte here from Connection Coaching. So here's the thing. We love a good transformation story, don't we? The shiny after photo, the success post, the healed, glowing version of someone who's made it. But we forget the messy middle, the tears, the self-doubt. The why is this taking so long part. Why is it so hard? I was talking with my friend Cheryl about this. She was worried that sharing her in progress story might make her look less credible. And I thought, hang on. Isn't that what makes us human just like pickleball. We don't get good by pretending that we're pros. We grow by missing shots showing up anyway and laughing through the awkward bits. So today we are going beyond the highlight reel into the truth about growth and healing and what it really takes to become who you're meant to be. Let's dive in. Hello, lovely pickleball players and others. It's so lovely to be back here again. I feel as though I keep taking these mini pauses and pivoting off in different directions, and it's so exciting and it's so juicy, and I love what I'm doing, and I'm also trusting that when an idea for an episode pops into my awareness. That I seize that moment. It reminds me of Dead Poet's Society. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Boys take the opportunity and not just the perfect days when everything is aligned, but the ordinary, imperfect ones too. The days when you show up scared and unsure, and you choose to live fully anyway. I'm trusting that when that episode idea drops into my awareness. That I will seize the day and hit the record button. So here I am with another exciting episode, and I'm so happy that you've joined me. Welcome. I'm curious, have you ever looked at someone who's gone through a huge transformation? Maybe they've built a business, maybe they have healed something in a huge way or found success, and have you ever thought to yourself, wow, I wish I could do that. Because we see the after, but rarely do we see the climb, the tears, the doubt, the mess that comes in between, and that gives us this false sense of, oh my gosh, it was so easy for them. And it's so hard for me because I'm struggling to get out of bed in the morning. I am struggling to come up with an idea for how to move forward. I am struggling with what do I do with my life. Now that the children have left home and we don't see the nitty gritty, we assume, and our mind takes us to this place of, oh my gosh, it was so easy for them. They woke up one morning and life fell into place, and that's just not what it's about. What made me think of this? Well, two things. One was a conversation I had with a very good friend of mine, and the second one was this documentary that I found myself watching because I still feel pulled into and compelled to watch stories of emergency services people going through horrific accidents and life-threatening, diseases and injuries. That's my medical mind. I am, drawn to. People and healing and resilience and coming back. So I find myself one evening clicking randomly around maybe Netflix, and I come across this documentary I believe it was set in England, so instead of 9 1 1, it was 9 9 9 and emergency services, and this horrific accident that happened. At a fairground and how a group of people found themselves on this ride at the wrong time. When the ride broke, something happened and the cars fell off the arms they were attached to. And this story, the documentary, followed. This couple's journey who had fallen in love, they had met later in life. They were connected on such a deeper level. The lady's sister tells the story of how. She lit up when she met this guy and he was perfect for her. I mean, gosh, talk about creating the Disney movie from the beginning. Yes. Incredible. And so of course you're sucked in and you're like, oh my gosh, tell me more. We all want to hear the fairy story, as well. And so they had gone to the fairground and they weren't even supposed to be on the ride and somebody gave them free tickets. And of course it was. The very ride when this awful accident happened, and they found themselves flying off the arm of this contraption still attached to the seat and sustained life-threatening injuries, both of them. Actually the man had such. Immense facial injuries they, just weren't sure that he was going to make it. And so we see a brief period of time when he's in the hospital and he undergoes numerous surgeries and goes to ICU. Which lasts, in the documentary for literally 15 seconds, which is not the reality of ICU. I know because I used to work there and loved it so much, and then all of a sudden there they are, the couple are walking through a park hand in hand, so much in love still, and life is amazing again, and not a scar on them. I mean, literally not a scar on them. And the feeling I immediately got was, oh my gosh, thank goodness. They're back to how they were on the surface, which of course they're not because they've gone through this awful trauma. Recovery from that on all levels, on a physical level, on a psychological level, mental, emotional, the whole gamut of emotions and feelings and challenges, all in literally seconds on the screen. And here they are, in adverted commas back to normal again. And. just watching this documentary, I was struck by how quickly the camera jumped from tragedy to triumph. One moment you're seeing the horror the next, it's all smiles healed, faces perfect lighting outside in nature, taking a walk in the park. It made me think, how many times do we do that in our own lives? How often do we skip over the part that. Actually makes us who we are. The nitty gritty, I say we do that so many times, and yet this is the part of us that we don't show to people, or that either doesn't become part of our story or doesn't become the focus for the story because it's the beginning, my life was awful. And then, oh my goodness, look where I am now. It was around the same time, actually last week that I was watching this documentary and had a conversation with a very good friend of mine, Cheryl, who had reached out to me and was thinking about starting a podcast she was curious how I had got started and where I had learned about podcasting. Shared Cathy Heller's podcasting program and shared a bit about my own journey, she wasn't sure the focus of her podcast. She wasn't sure what that would look like. And I think what was underlying that and what we dug into as the conversation continued was that. It was very important for her to portray this identity of herself as a coach now, and she is an incredible coach, and I suggested to her with this documentary in mind that I had just watched. Why don't you tell the story of. You becoming a coach, you creating a podcast, share with people the journey, not the before and after, take people along for the ride she wasn't sure that actually added to her credibility as a coach. I really challenged her on this and it got me thinking afterwards as well. I actually believe that reframing that vulnerability. Showing ourselves as being raw and not knowing and trying to figure it out and oh my goodness, I'm so frustrated because technology isn't working. And I remember all those things and it still happens to me now pretty much on a daily basis, but delivering that reframe of vulnerability. I think builds credibility. I don't think it diminishes at all. I think it builds you into that credible coach whichever identity you are evolving in your life, showing people, sharing with people, the trials, the tribulations, the stress, the tears, the arguments, everything. Show that to people so that. We all really get an understanding that Disney is great in the movies, but real life doesn't always look like that, that we do doubt ourselves and we take action and we move forward and we trust and open ourselves up to what's possible, and then the universe meets us, and then things start to happen. And we think our clients need to see perfection. We think that my patients when I was nursing, they needed to see perfection. This absolutely goes back to. When I first learned to play pickleball, when Neil and I stepped onto that court not having a clue what we were doing, I didn't get it. I didn't understand the scoring. It didn't make sense to me. I didn't understand the lines. I didn't know what the kitchen was. It took me a while to even remember to call the paddle a paddle. I kept wanting to call it a bat. There was this intricate dance with my partner, with Neil as we attempted to play, doubles together. We were literally all over the place and I was scared. I was scared of failing. I was scared of being judged. I was scared of looking bad of looking imperfect. I was fearful of making a fool of myself. And, we do that in life too. We are so worried about what others will think. We are so worried about being judged of what other people will say. It brings to mind one of my favorite quotes that actually Brene Brown often shares, and that is from Theodore Roosevelt's Man in the Arena Speech, and I'd like to share it with you because it, it really is powerful."It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the one who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who errs, who comes short again and again, but who does actually strive to do the deeds." That's it, isn't it? Whether it's on the pickleball court, whether it's in your business or in your healing journey, it's about being the one in the arena, showing up messy, vulnerable, imperfect, and showing up anyway. Because that's the thing, the people in the arena aren't worried about looking perfect. They're too busy living, and it's the same on the pickleball court. You can't learn the game from the sidelines analyzing someone else's play. You have to pick up the paddle. You have to miss a few shots. Laugh at yourself and try again. So the courage isn't in never failing. It's in coming back after you do picking yourself up. And that's how we grow. That's how we build trust with ourselves. Not through the highlight reel, but through the sweat, the missteps and the grace that we find within ourselves when we keep showing up. Dust and paddle and all those good things. If you are in the arena and you are showing up, please let this be permission to not listen to all the people who are not in the arena, all the people who are sharing their advice and not even willing to step into the arena themselves. Don't take advice from those people. follow the people who are in the arena with you. I've said it before, pickleball is such a humbling teacher. One day you're in flow. One day I am playing like I'm Anna Leigh Waters, and the next day I can't make a shot to save my life, but I keep showing up. I play through the misses, the mishits, the laughter, the frustration. Isn't that the same with transformation of any kind? Isn't that the same with growth, personal growth, business growth, life growth? We learn more from the messy matches than from the easy wins, and that's applicable on court as well as in life. So here's my invitation for today. For this week, I would love for all of us to connect with each other in a real way, share more of your real journey, whether that's online, in a work setting in your business. Or going for coffee with a friend, share your real journey, because that's where connection happens. We are craving authenticity. and permission to be real. Show up today. Be real, be authentic. Share the messy parts of you, and watch as life unfolds before you in a different way. We build trust not by being perfect. We build trust by being present with another person. The middle part is where the magic happens. This is where our resilience is. This is where we connect with our deeper selves and create that self-trust. This is where connection is built. And remember, your vulnerability isn't a weakness. It's actually your credibility. Maybe think about times in your life where you have had these rollercoaster moments where something has been on the up and you are on cloud nine, and then the dip came and you thought you couldn't come out of it. And yet you did reflect on those rollercoaster times in your life where in your life are you tempted to skip to the after instead of honoring the middle? And think about what story could you share today that would help somebody else feel less alone in their own process? I would love to invite you to take a deep breath with me now. Picture yourself in that messy middle. Drop into that. Connect to that and remind yourself this is the work. If something resonated with you today, I would love to hear from you. Please reach out to me. Send me an email. Send me a message on Facebook. Reach out on Instagram. I would love to hear from you if something resonated. If you felt resistance I would love for you to share authentically what came up for you today. Here are the key takeaways from today's episode. 1. The messy middle is where real growth happens. Transformation isn't a clean before and after story. It's the in-between, the tears, the doubt, the moments you want to quit. This is where resilience, courage, and self-trust are born. 2. Vulnerability builds credibility. Sharing your in- progress story doesn't diminish your authority. It deepens it. When we let people see our humanity, our struggles, and our truth, we become more relatable, trustworthy, and powerful leaders. Three. Don't skip the struggle like a documentary that fast forwards from tragedy to triumph. We often gloss over the hardest parts of our journey, but the middle is what shapes who we are. Healing and growth happen in the process, not the polish. 4. Pickleball is a mirror for life on the court. Just like in life, we learn through missed shots, laughter, and frustration. One day you are in flow. The next you can't hit a thing, and both days are teachers. The key is to keep showing up. 5. stop taking advice from people who aren't in the arena. Brene Brown's reminder rings true. Only those who are playing, risking and showing up get to have a say. Don't let the sidelines dictate your courage. 6. Authenticity creates connection. We're all craving realness. When you share your story, not the filtered highlight reel, but the real raw moments, you give others permission to do the same. That's where true connection and healing happen. 7. your vulnerability is your superpower. The parts you want to hide, the fear, the uncertainty, the mess are actually what makes you magnetic. Your openness gives others the courage to be themselves. 8. The invitation, pause and reflect on your own rollercoaster moments. Where are you tempted to skip to the after instead of honouring the climb? What story could you share today that might help someone else feel less alone? Thank you for being here with me today. I hope this conversation gave you permission to exhale to remember that you don't have to be finished or polished or perfect to be worthy of sharing your story. Whether it's on the pickleball court in your business, or just in your own quiet growth, this messy middle that you are in right now, it's your teacher. It's where empathy, courage, and connection are born. So my invitation for you this week is simple. Notice where you've been holding back from showing your real process. What would it feel like to let someone see you in it, to let them witness the climb, not just the view from the top. And if this episode spoke to you, would you share it with a friend who might need this reminder too? Because the more we normalize the middle, the more connected we all become. So until next time, keep showing up. Keep playing pickleball, and keep listening to the whispers. You are all doing beautifully.
