From Playing Small to Winning Big: The Art of Breaking Patterns and Moving Forward

In this episode of Pickleball and Partnership, Charlotte delves into the concept of feeling stuck and how to break free from self-limiting patterns using personal anecdotes and lessons from pickleball. 

She explains that being stuck stems from ingrained patterns developed over time and offers a practical framework: becoming aware of these patterns, interrupting them, rewiring new behaviours, and taking actionable steps. 

Charlotte shares her own career pivot story, emphasising that real growth requires courage and leaving behind old identities. She encourages listeners to acknowledge the safety of old patterns, embrace the discomfort of new possibilities, and take messy but essential steps toward a fulfilling life.

Pickleball & Partnership Facebook Page
Please jump on over and say "Hi" - we would love to hear from you...

email: cejukes@gmail.com

https://www.facebook.com/conejukes

https://www.facebook.com/groups/848118700833703

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pickleball-partnership/id1775742795

Get your FREE Top 10 Tips for Playing Pickleball with Your Partner subscribepage.io/Top-10-Tips-Partner-Pickleball

Music: Purple Planet Music
Thanks to Purple Planet Music for Pickleball & Partnership Intro and Outro music Purple Planet Music is a collection of music written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey.

Transcript

Charlotte J: 0:00

Hello, friend. It's Charlotte here. Welcome back to Pickleball and Partnership. If you are someone who knows you are meant for more, but you keep feeling stuck in the same patterns, the same thoughts, the same routines, the same self-doubt, today's episode is for you because we are going to talk about something most people never slow down long enough to examine. Why you feel stuck and how to actually break free, not in a rah rah, Pinterest quote way, but in a real grounded, lived experience way. And yes, I'm tying it to pickleball because pickleball has a hilarious, brilliant way of exposing who we are, especially when we're under pressure, especially when we are scared of failing. Especially when we care so deeply. If that sounds like your cup of tea, pull up a chair, grab your paddle and join me as we dive in. Welcome my beautiful pickleball players, my beautiful friends. Let's start with this truth. You are not stuck because you're incapable. You're stuck because you're patterned At some point in all of our lives, maybe it was in childhood, maybe in your partnership, your marriage, maybe in your career, you learned how to survive, how to cope, how to belong. What masks we had to put on to create the persona that the world could accept, A world where we felt comfortable being a part of. And those patterns worked for us until they didn't. And it's like stepping onto a pickleball court for the first time. that forehand that works so beautifully on the tennis court is suddenly launching those wiffle balls that you use in pickleball into the car park. not because you're bad, not because you can't play, not because you don't know what you're doing, but because you are using the wrong pattern for the moment that you are in. You are using a tennis swing for a pickleball game. It's never going to work. Well, it may for a short time, but at some point you won't feel as though you are in alignment. You won't feel as though you're growing, as though you're moving forward. this may show up in your life, like maybe you say to yourself, I don't want to make the wrong decision. As if there is a wrong decision or I'll start when I feel more confident. How many of us have said that? I'll start when I've taken another course, or I know more information about that. That was me. I'm putting my hand up now. Or we say to ourselves. What will people think? We are so scared of being judged, of failing, of appearing as though we are a failure or we are different from everybody else. Or we simply say, I don't want to fail. Or maybe later, when things have calmed down. Maybe later when the children have grown up and left home. Maybe later when I hit my fifties or sixties, we procrastinate. That's not truth, that's rehearsal. It's Habit and there lies the pattern and patterns will always feel safer than possibilities. Even when those possibilities are actually what you really want. They're the desires that you have. Let me pull the curtain back on my own life pivot. There was a moment, not a dramatic movie moment. There certainly wasn't a lightning bolt. There was this quiet, honest moment where I realized. I've built a life that I'm grateful for. I love my life. It's everything that I had aspired to be when I was a teenager or in my twenties, but I'm not fully in it. I had this amazing nursing career. I was working where I wanted to be. I was working with the people that I wanted to work with. I was working with the most amazing job share partner, but I just wasn't really feeling it. I would wake up every morning and I loved going to work. But there was always something that was missing and I just couldn't put my finger on it, there was one particular nurse, colleague, friend of mine, and she and I were very much aligned in this way we both felt as though we were searching for that next thing for the missing piece, and she went down. A path of craniosacral. And I thought, maybe that's my calling. Maybe that's the missing piece. So I researched and I tried it out as a client. Really looked into what craniosacral was all about and then realized, yes, I love that, but that's not it. Then I looked at yoga reiki and I looked at breath work and I loved learning. I loved growing. I really felt like I was. Expanding in so many different ways, but something still wasn't quite right. Then I discovered the world of energy medicine and energy healing tapping back into my intuition, which I had always known I had, and then realized that at some point, adults in my life. Were encouraging me not to listen to my intuition, not to trust that feeling in the pit of my stomach, but to do the sensible thing. And so in that moment I thought, yes, this is the missing piece. I'm working in Western medicine, but here I am now immersing myself in eastern medicine, energy healing, and I'm tapping back in to what I really believe is true and real and alive for me, and connecting with my intuition again, a huge turning point for me. It wasn't where I finished my journey but it was definitely a pivotal moment for me at a time when I felt like I was functioning, I was giving, oh, I was really giving. In fact, I was probably overgiving. I was definitely doing, I was definitely achieving But I wasn't listening to my own inner wisdom, my own intuition. I wasn't asking myself what do I want next? I certainly wasn't prioritizing play fun or desire, and I wasn't prioritizing a vision for myself. So I pivoted not because I was fearless. I had a lot of fear, a lot of self-doubt. Fear of being judged, fear of being criticized because I was in such an amazing place in my career, but I pivoted because staying the same became more painful than the pain of changing. And so I'm going to say this out loud for you. Anyone who's listening, who needs to hear it, your new life is going to cost you your old one. Let that sink in. Your new life is going to cost you your old life, your old identity, your old stories, your old limits, sometimes even your old relationships and roles just like pickle ball. To improve on the court, you eventually have to stop playing the safe, soft game that keeps you not losing. And you start playing that bold, risky growth game that actually helps you win. here's the thing that I learned. Growth requires a little chaos for your nervous system, and a lot of honesty. I would love to share with you the simple framework that I use with clients and myself when we want to break those old patterns. It's about becoming aware, interrupting, rewiring, and then acting. Being aware means knowing what you don't know, bringing that old pattern into the light, naming it. for example, your mind may be telling you, I freeze when I'm afraid that I'll fail. I stop, I don't take action. on the pickleball court, it looks like I play small when people are watching or I play safe, or when I'm being watched in my game, I let my partner take 90% of the shots. And then the second phase interrupt. We want to disrupt the autopilot. You know those times when you're in the car and you just drive home and then you think. How did I get here? Because your brain is so used to the route, it's so used to the pattern. Your conscious mind doesn't even need to think about it. it's the same with your neuro pathways. with those networks in your brain. We need to disrupt, those patterns, those pathways, we do this. By breathing moving and changing our state, we take a breath, change our physical position, and change what we say to ourselves. On the court that looks like laughing at ourselves, laughing along with everyone else, shaking it out, releasing that energy, shaking out your arms, shaking out your legs, doing a complete reset. Then we're able to build those new neuro pathways, those new networks. we are choosing a better thought, a different belief, and a new identity. We can take off the old identity, like taking off an old coat and putting a new one on. we can say to ourselves, I can learn. I can grow. I am safe to try on the pickleball court. This is something I've chosen to rewire into my brain and start saying to myself when I make a mistake, I miss the ball. I hit it out into the car park. I say, next ball. Next move on. then we take action. We do something small, but it moves us forward. And it may be messy, it may be imperfect, but we take action because clarity never comes before action. It only comes after it. When we take action, then we get the clarity, then it makes sense to us, then we clearly see the path forward. And if you do that again and again, you become. Someone new. You take on a new identity, your behaviours change your thoughts, change your feelings, change the old patterns, become new patterns. Not because we are forcing it, but because we are now in alignment. so I would love to ask you, where in your life are you playing not to lose? And where are you Staying small because it feels safer than being seen. Perhaps you are waiting for permission and only you can give yourself that permission. You don't need anybody else to give you permission. You can give yourself permission. You're not behind, you're not stuck, and you're not too late. I hear this all the time. I'm too old. I'm behind everyone else. I haven't caught up I'm too late to the game. I'm stuck where I am. No, you are right on time. You are in the most. Perfect place in this moment to stop breathe take action and move forward in a different way. You are simply standing at the edge of your new chapter At the moment, you're holding on to the old one. And when you release that, when you let that go behind you, that's when you can step over the edge into that new chapter, that new way of being. And the moment that you decide the moment you say to yourself, I'm done repeating this pattern, that's when the game changes. When I went to work, knowing that. I had everything that I really wanted from my career. But in that moment when I decided I want more than this, I want something different. I want to rewrite those neuro networks in my brain, that's when the game changed. That's when. All these other doors opened up for me. Absolutely incredible how the universe meets us where we are at. But while you're still hanging on to that old chapter and not ready to turn the page, the universe mirrors that and waits until you're ready. So take that first step and the doors will open. If this episode spoke to you, I would love for you to share it with a friend who is also craving more from their life. And if you want weekly support to break your patterns or reclaim your voice and build the life that you're excited to wake up to, hit follow on this podcast so you don't miss what's coming up. Please connect with me on Facebook. Instagram or send me an email. I would love to hear from you. I'm cheering you on.

Speaker: 16:02

Here are your 6 key takeaways from today's episode. 1. You are not stuck. You are patterned. The thoughts, behaviours, and habits that once helped you belong or feel safe are now the very things keeping you from your next chapter. 2. Patterns feel safer than possibilities. Your nervous system will always choose the familiar over the unknown, even when the unknown is what you deeply want. 3. Awareness is the first shift. You can't change what you won't look at. Naming the pattern brings it out of autopilot and back into your power. 4. You must interrupt before you can rewire a breath, a laugh, a reset, a physical state change. This is how you disrupt old mental loops and create space for something new. 5. Identity drives behaviour. When you choose a new belief about who you are, your actions, confidence the results begin to change naturally without force. 6. Clarity comes from action, not waiting. Messy steps count. Movement creates momentum. Your new life begins. The moment you stop rehearsing the old one and step forward. And remember, friends, you are not too late. You're not behind, and you're not stuck. You are simply standing at the edge of your next chapter. The moment you decide you are done repeating the old pattern, that's when the game changes. So if something resonated with you today, I would love to hear from you. Please reach out, send me an email, send me a message on Facebook, or connect with me over on Instagram and if you felt resistance at any point. I would love for you to share authentically what came up for you. Your truth is welcome here and you don't have to navigate it alone. So until next time, keep growing. Keep showing up and keep playing.