Ep. 27 - Burn Your Relationship Down & Rebuild: The 10 Year Marriage Podcast Program Phase 1

What if you could completely restart your marriage with the person you love - burning away all the past baggage and creating something entirely new?

As we approach our 15-year anniversary, we're about to do something radical: completely burn down our current marriage to rebuild it from scratch. In this raw and vulnerable episode, we reveal Phase One of our revolutionary three-phase relationship transformation method that we'll be living out in real-time.

🔥 What You'll Discover:

• Why we're willing to "burn down" a GOOD marriage to create something extraordinary
• The critical first phase: Shadow work, resentments, and uncomfortable truths
• How to write an "obituary" for your current relationship
• The power of letting go completely before rebuilding
• Why comfort might be your relationship's biggest threat

⚠️ Warning: This isn't surface-level relationship advice. We're getting uncomfortably honest about the deep work required for true transformation - and we're doing it live, with you watching.

Whether your relationship is thriving or struggling, this episode will challenge everything you think you know about love, commitment, and what's possible when two people are willing to risk everything for something greater.

Ready to transform your relationship? Join the waitlist for our upcoming program in the show notes below.

Join The Waitlist For The 10 Year Marriage Program For Couples:
JOIN HERE

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Transcript

EP 27 V1
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Angie: [00:00:00] Like, think about your marriage, your relationship right now, and if you were to take all of the past, everything and truly let it go, just burn that shit down. And now you were able to create from a blank slate with this person that you decided to spend your life with. What your life looks like, what your relationship looks like, how you communicate, how you are intimate together, the passion, the ideas, the places, like think about the potential that you have.

Dave: You know, we're almost 30 episodes in now. I think it's always smart or just kind of fun to remind ourselves why we did this in the first place. As cool as it is and I how we wanna help and have impact. We are living a real [00:01:00] relationship while we are in this position of sharing it with the entire world.

Mm-hmm. And hopefully leading it. We started it. I think we put kind of a deadline on let's get moving on this because we are approaching our 15 year anniversary and on our five year anniversary is when we found out. Came, came up with 

Angie: this concept. Yeah. 

Dave: So we've kind of lived this 10 year contract, even though we're in our 15th year.

It's been 10 years since we've thought about this. Mm-hmm. And so we are due to go through with it. We 

Angie: need to, we need to either re-up or whatever. You don't re-up, what do you, what's the word I'm looking for? You either divorce me up. Divorce, yes. But when you don't renew a contract. 

Dave: Yeah. And talking about all of these topics.

Great. 

Angie: Mm-hmm. 

Dave: I mean, I believe it helps our marriage and it helps the way we communicate each with each other, which a lot of people's, um, feedback to this podcast has been, it [00:02:00] has helped me talk to my significant other. We've listened to it together. Mm-hmm. We have talked about things that. We didn't even know.

Yeah. We were in agreement with, or not agreement with. 

Angie: It's also just, I've had a lot of feedback on giving PE people the permission to even have these conversations because, you know, when we're growing up, we're not taught to have these conversations in relationships. Right. In fact, some of us were taught the exact opposite, and so I think it's, it's really powerful that we're.

People are listening to him solo. They're listening to him together. And where that will lead, we don't know, but that's why we've kind of come up with this, this process. 

Dave: So the next step is actually going through this process. Mm-hmm. And it's kind of cool 'cause it's like life imitating art. I always kind of say that.

It's like while you're actually explaining it, you're doing it. And there's been also feedback like, do you have. I don't know, a book or do you have a course or do you have any [00:03:00] resource 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: That we can actually take on? And I was like, that really wasn't our intent starting out, but we're in a way creating this 

Angie: experience 

Dave: operating system.

Yeah. On how to do this. Yep. 

Angie: Rather 

Dave: than just burn it all down, write a new contract and then live it. 

Angie: Yeah. 

Dave: Like what are we doing step by step? That works for us, that then we can share for other people. 

Angie: Totally. And even as we're creating this, like I was thinking about it last night and I was like, you know, we're creating this thing and there is so much that goes into it, but, and I was like, wow, this is a lot of energy, this is a lot of input, but these are the most important relationships of your life.

And if you're gonna spend your entire life with that person, I mean. As I was reflecting, I was like, shit, I would sit there and do this for business all day long, but we've never really done this for our marriage. Like, how much more important is that [00:04:00] than to put all this effort and energy into these other things, like, we're gonna create this system and this process that's gonna lead people to complete awakenings, whether it's, you know, regardless of what site it ends up on.

But it's such an important relationship. 

Dave: I'll go one step further. I, I've seen this. This real or meme or quote, the single greatest, most important decision you'll make in your life is the person you choose to share it with. 

Angie: Yep. A thousand percent. 

Dave: And so, yeah, it's, it's an inner game. It's an inside job, of course, but it's a relationship life that you share with other people.

Mm-hmm. So. If we truly believe, show me your friends. I'll show you your future. Show me who you choose to spend your life with. 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: And I'll show you your future and what you're willing 

Angie: to, you know, compromise on what you're willing to sacrifice and how you're willing to show up for that other person.

Like there's so much that goes into it, and it's either going to light you up or it's gonna slowly [00:05:00] kill you inside Slowly. 

Dave: Yeah. And it's not a one time decision, right. And that's 

Angie: the whole point, right? Of the tenure marriage is re-upping every time. 

Dave: So let's take us for example. 'cause some people are gonna actually be like, okay, things aren't great and in some ways you got nothing to lose when things are aren't great.

Especially, I tell people in business all the time, it's easier to make decisions when shit's going south. 'cause you, you're really in a position to nothing to lose. We talked about, I think that last week, like change it up. Mm-hmm. We have a really strong marriage and. We're still willing to burn it to the ground.

Angie: Yeah. And you know, as we're coming up with these, this first step in this entire process, which we'll talk more about in this episode, maybe we 

Dave: won't make it through the first bit. 

Angie: Well, no, but it's, it's, it's wild because some of the questions that we're gonna have people answer and answer ourselves very vulnerably in front of an audience, it's shit that can get real, real quick.

I 

Dave: agree. 

Angie: Right. [00:06:00] It's like. What do I resent you for? It's what have I never told you? Because I'm scared of how you'll react. Like these are real serious things that like once 

Dave: you, once they come outta the box, it's can't put 'em back in. 

Angie: Yeah. And so I think it's gonna be. Very interesting, but I feel like in a lot of ways, if you are having a hard time in your relationship, it's, it's that kind of thing.

It's like, what do you got to lose? Let's bring it all down. You already in mind. No, I don't. 

Dave: I'm curious. I'd have 

Angie: to meditate on this because I'd want it to be really intentional and not just how I say it, but I would want like the truth to be uncovered, right? Because surface level, I'd be like, oh, you know, I resent you for.

Staying on your phone while the kids are screaming and I gotta go put 'em to bed. Yeah, that's like, that's not deep, right? That's not, do I resent you? No. I wanna just like punch you for it, but I don't resent you for it. Like I'm talking about like my soul is desiring this or this is what I'm not getting in this relationship, or this is where I wish you would show [00:07:00] up.

Dave: So this is a beautiful segue to, to. To bring this in. Yeah. Because we're, this is the way we're doing it. Mm-hmm. And we're gonna be inviting you to not only come along for the journey and the ride, but to participate. You could do it on your own, but there will be an opportunity to actually do this with us.

But as every great coach, leader, and mentor should be saying and should be doing is, unless you're willing to do it yourself. 

Angie: Yeah. You should not be teaching it. No. 

Dave: We both started working on this, so just even putting this together. The agreement is, and this, we're only gonna be talking about this first phase, which is kind of bringing you into the darkness first.

Angie: Yep. Some shadow work. 

Dave: I believe like growth is an identity shift and depending upon what part of my life and how it looked at it, it was a, I thought it was a sacrifice or a becoming, and more and more, as I'm getting more wisdom around this, I feel like it's a return. Mm-hmm. [00:08:00] Right. It's a stripping away all the things we have built on top of our most pure, divine, bright, shining flow state version of us.

Yeah. How we came out, right? Yep. There's a grieving process with every single death, and I believe there's a seven. That's seven stages of grief is like seven stages of. Transformation. Seven stages of change. Seven stages of death. I mean, you have denial, anger, acceptance is the last one. There's negotiation.

There's so many paths along the way that you kind of have to go. There's appreciation. Mm-hmm. Right. Because it's a part of you is dying and on purpose. 

Angie: Right. 

Dave: And it has to die. 

Angie: Yep. Right. 

Dave: We've talked about this. Yep. So would you be willing, like to really, like one of these was. Would you burn our wedding album?

[00:09:00] Did you go that far? Oh, 

Angie: fuck no. No. 'cause that was still the best day ever. But No, 

Dave: but there's some of these, but that's powerful. Yeah. Challenges. It's like, like I'd never look at the wedding album. Like the harder thing for me would be the video. Mm-hmm. It's in, it's in my mind, but that's, I'm not, I'm not that person anymore.

Yeah. 

Angie: Neither are you. Totally. And I don't think it's necessarily about even burning those things. I think it's burning the idea of what. Who we were in those moments. Right. And so like when I'm, when I'm kind of, no, we must 

Dave: have a sacrifice. No, I'm just kidding. 

Angie: Well, well, and we may but it, I'm just 

Dave: joking with you, 

Angie: but I think it's more about like, it's really the uncovering, I think it's like, like an autopsy, right?

Is what we were talking about, like an autopsy or a. Would you say an, uh, when people die, what's the obituary? 

Dave: Okay. Yep. 

Angie: It's, it's in that world, right? It's like, what are we willing to like sacrifice back, right? Give [00:10:00] back to the universe, give back to whatever. Appreciate it for what it was. Spill all the truth, spill all of the things that we need to, but then like physically burn this shit, right?

Whether it's journal prompting that we're talking about and we're having these conversations with each other, or letters to each other that we need to write. Or maybe it's not even something that we share, but that, you know, this idea that I solely had as, as what our marriage was and now I'm giving it back so that I can like become a new, right?

So there's so many different ways we're gonna go about this in this phase one. It may change, but that's the exciting thing is that we're gonna do it first and we're gonna lead people on this journey and then see what happens. So 

Dave: let's, let's give a little, these are the things that we're actually, it's, it's almost like we're masochists.

Mm-hmm. Right? It's like so many, this is why people don't grow. 'cause they're not willing to put in the work and go through the darkness like. Write individual obituaries for your current marriage. We can mourn it. [00:11:00] Honestly, what died, what was never born, what deserves gratitude. Mm-hmm. Right. And then you gotta do the solo work.

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: Right. What are my unspoken resentments? Needs and truths. 

Angie: Yes. 

Dave: Right. On the surface, it's easy to be like, well, I don't really have that many knees. Whoa. Have you just buried it for so long? 

Angie: Mm-hmm. Or are you just so afraid on. It crumbling because you voiced it, right? 

Dave: Yep. And then so it's one thing to do that work on your own and have a truth conversation with yourself.

Whole nother one to share them. 

Angie: Mm-hmm. And I think part of it is really being intentional on how we get to that place, right? Because if we're just sitting there and, you know, our kids are running around and we're still in these roles that we play every day, it's gonna be a lot different of what we come up with.

No, this is, than if we're in like ceremony. This 

Dave: has to be sacred. Like a sacred experience. Sacred just with us. Yes, exactly. And so then it's burning the letters together, right? Mm-hmm. And letting it physically go. And, you know, this is such a beautiful [00:12:00] experience because even when you're changing.

Yourself. Mm-hmm. It can get confusing on what you wanna bring forward and what you wanna leave in the past, because it's like the minute you start looking in the past. It gets blurry. It's like, well, I liked all of these things and that's who I wanna bring with me, but I don't wanna bring that other part like that's done.

Right. And so burning it all away and then rebuilding it, because then like as you're rebuilding it, sure there's gonna be parts of it that that 

Angie: come forward. Exactly. 

Dave: But not from the past. Mm-hmm. From the now. Right. Crazy. Okay, so then it's the mirrors. Right. And so the mirror is, is an accountability game.

'cause it's so easy to be like, what are my resentments? Resentment is nothing but premeditated expectations. Mm-hmm. Unmet. Yeah, exactly. And they're going to be. 'cause if you have a premeditated expectation, you are already putting, setting everyone up for that, that failure and [00:13:00] you're gonna resent somebody for the rules you made to the game.

Angie: Yeah. 

Dave: So 

Angie: just, just the personal aspect of this alone, right? Like going into these ceremonies, right? This, this phase one, burning it to the ground phase one, we're going into it. And not only do you have to like have the courage and have the ability to speak truth. In a time where maybe you haven't spoken truth for a very long time, or maybe you do, but there's still very, very deep underlying stuff.

Not only do you have to do that, but you also have to be in a position to take it right to and not to let it like break you. Right? Like I was, as you were saying that, I'm like, fuck, what if, what if all the things he says like truly breaks my heart because I hadn't, I maybe didn't show up in these. I already know.

Dave: I already know. Like, first of all, I already, and. I don't wanna, like, I know me, and this is something that you have to be, have some self-awareness here, even with my staff and with everybody. Mm-hmm. I inevitably bring it all the way back to me. [00:14:00] Yeah. I take all the blame, right. I'm gonna have to be careful.

That I don't just play this self-flagellation game, I'm just whipping myself through the entire thing. 

Angie: Right? Yeah. 

Dave: Right. 

Angie: Totally. It's gonna have to be a very cohesive, very, you know, both parties participating in this and I gotta look 

Dave: at it like, shit, if I had everything on lock and I, there was, I've had moments and periods of time where I have.

And I wasn't getting things from you, and at some point I was weaponizing it like, well, shit, I'm a, I'm a fucking. I got all four areas. Where are you, right? Mm-hmm. I gotta weaponizing it is a mistake, right? But I have to look at it like, okay, I got my shit together. Where now am my needs not being met? 

Angie: Yep.

Dave: Where I'd love to see, because that's the way you gotta look at it, right? 

Angie: A hundred percent. And you have to look at it as like both parties have to fully be. Ready to do this because otherwise it's gonna feel like an attack on one side. [00:15:00] 

Dave: And so that was, that's me too. Right? Like identify and confess to shadow roles you've played.

Have you been the victim, the control of the martyr? The avoider. That's personal accountability. Yep. I may be. You may, like, I could just give an example. You may be upset you haven't. Uh, sw. Swam. Swam, swam. What the fuck? 

Angie: Like swimming. 

Dave: You haven't 

Angie: swam, 

Dave: swam? Never really. Are we talking 

Angie: about water 

Dave: with. What do you wanna do in one of your dreams?

Angie: Swimming. 

Dave: Swimming with what? 

Angie: Oh, whales. I wanna swim with whales 

Dave: in some, in Topanga. Some crazy place. Yeah. Fiji. Fiji. Like you could easily, this is a great little example. You could easily be like, that's my fault. Well, you know, he's, he, he may not wanna be on the boat. He may not wanna be in this situation.

That's easy. That's an external 

Angie: right. 

Dave: Versus like, why I haven't done it. This is 

Angie: an important Yeah. And this is something that's important to me. Mm-hmm. 

Dave: So then it goes down to like, you can go into some work where like, you know, what am I most triggered by you? What part of me am I avoiding? [00:16:00] You know, working name each other's common defenses lovingly.

Again, you gotta be in the right space. 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: And then maybe like do a personality test like an Enneagram to really understand why we are the way we are. I feel like I know you better than you know yourself sometimes and vice versa. So again, this is great. Yeah, 

Angie: and I think that, so now we have like, you know, what needs are not being met by the other person.

What needs to be, what, how are you showing up? But then there's also this like couples thing, right? Like we, it, it has to also go there. Like what in your relationship needs to die as like a couple as a pair. Like what? Habits or rituals do you, are you doing that aren't serving you as a couple? Right. And maybe what are things that you need to add?

And that is, I think part of this, really looking at it on all three levels, right? You have you, it's the three cha. It's the channels that we're learning in, um, equine therapy. It's like, what's happening in you me, [00:17:00] what's happening in the other person? Me? And then what's happening in us? Yeah. Right. And really being honest about all three so that you can fully.

Get there. 

Dave: One of the most powerful parts of this is the deadline. Mm-hmm. Because planning phases without execution, it was like, well, this is like, I'd like to, but without the actual physical burning and burying, and you can't really move forward because now there's no deadline on this. Yeah. And once you open that Pandora's box, this is like a full disclaimer here, like you'd almost be better off not.

If you're not gonna do anything about it, even though I don't truly believe that. Right. But like the minute you start, like we've talked about this before, like with the parasites, the minute you start moving shit around Yeah. You better be ready to do something with it. Right, exactly. Because you've, I, you've named it and identified it, you've killed it, and you're also killing like the great parts.

So now before you turn around and [00:18:00] build that new contract from a place of. Complete openness and brand newness. Right. You gotta kill it the whole way. 

Angie: Right. Because 

Dave: if you don't kill it the whole way, then you have this new future that is contaminated. 

Angie: Mm-hmm. 

Dave: With remnants of the past. Right. 

Angie: And the people are always gonna be thinking of all those, those words that were just spoken or all of those situations that just came up that are now sitting on the surface.

And if you don't fully let go of that shit and move on to the next phase, you're in a re It's a recipe for disaster. 

Dave: And you know, we're figuring this out. Kind of like, we gotta do this work, but we're doing it a little bit right now. Yeah. Which is kind of cool in the moment while we're talking about it.

Angie: It's a pre-game. 

Dave: The what? The pre-game. Pre-game. 

Angie: We're pre-gaming it into 

Dave: the. Oh, I didn't say this. 'cause you've always done this in the past, or you would never go for this or you, [00:19:00] 

Angie: yeah. How do you even know? 

Dave: You can't say that anymore. Right? If she won't like this sexually, or if I do this or this vacation won't work, or we can't parent this way, or we can't live in this place, or we can't, like if we're taking all of the past ways we've handled it or the our actions, then we're letting it, and that happens with us.

Like, I don't think I've brought this up. There's this game or this thought experiment. I think it was Matt Hussey where it was like, if you. Woke up today and you had no memory of the past. Mm-hmm. And all you knew is like, all right, this is my, my wife was point view. Yep. This is my life. These are my kids.

This is the money I have. Right. And you didn't have this, like failures and successes of the past, just unbridled optimism. How would you live your life? 

Angie: Yeah. It's basically taking the box, burning the fucking box. And now there is no box 

Dave: there, but truly no box. 

Angie: Yeah. But now what are, now you're starting.[00:20:00] 

From the very beginning. I mean, how fucking exciting is that? 

Dave: Well, I don't know if you feel comfortable with this, but. I did something to you the other night and I did it a little bit differently. It was fucking amazing. And I just tried something completely different. 

Angie: Yeah, it was great. 

Dave: It was great. 

Angie: Yeah.

And I was like, put that on the list of things I like. Yeah. 

Dave: I didn't even know what I was doing. I don't either. I know I just hit fucking pay dirts. I was like, keep doing this. Right. Yeah. But if I wasn't willing, I was like, oh, I'm gonna do it this way. Same. And I've done it this way for 15 years. Like, 

Angie: yeah.

Right. And think about the possibilities. Right. Our viewers, our listeners, like, think about your marriage, your relationship right now, and if you were to take all of the past, everything and truly let it go, just burn that shit down. Like fucking let it go. And now you were able to create from a blank slate with this person that you decided to spend your life with, what your life looks like, what your relationship looks like, how you communicate, how you are [00:21:00] intimate together, the passion, the ideas, the places, like think about the potential that you have.

Dave: I mean. I'm getting into it right now. Like to think like, I've never had sex with this girl before. I've never gone on a date with this girl before. Yeah. I've never gone on a vacation. Like maybe 

Angie: that should be part of our experience. Like all of these is like actually going on a date 

Dave: again as like a new, you need to be excited about this new contract.

You need to be excited about marrying this human being. Right. Right. You need to, because if it's, if not, it's like, oh, it's the same shit. Well, mm-hmm. Same thing, same everything. Like, you know, well the light's gonna go out, the music's gonna go on. If she wearing that thing, we're gonna have sex. And it's gonna be like, that's, well, 

Angie: so that makes me think, of course, I 

Dave: always bring it back to sex, but like, exactly.

It's so much deeper than that. Right? It's the same business. It's the same way, same vacations. I'm not shitting on people who go to the same place every year. Right. But like, even, but 

Angie: could you show up there [00:22:00] differently? 

Dave: Listen, your brain starts dying if you start Yeah. If you keep doing, like they say, like to not get Alzheimer's and to keep being is start doing different shit.

Joe Dispenza talks about this all the time. 

Angie: Yeah. And so I think, did we, did you ever say what the three steps are? Like? Yeah. Like the step one is burn it down. Mm-hmm. 

Dave: Make the contract. Integrate it and live it. 

Angie: Perfect. I love that it's, and like you were talking about, how you gotta be excited about, I mean, that's why this is gonna be such a sacred experience is because you're burning it all down.

And there are, and we talked about this last night, there's gonna be a lot of situations where the contract isn't gonna be renewed. 

Dave: That's gonna be very interesting. 

Angie: Right. 

Dave: Very interesting. And so part of, and it could be the best thing ever, a hundred 

Angie: percent for both parties, right? Yes. And part of this experience that we're gonna lead people through this method is how to end it in grace.

Right? Like if you're burning it down and there is nothing else to rebuild, like, okay, now what is the process? It's just like when [00:23:00] we had Mark Groves on, right. And him and Kai did that. Yeah. And it, it 

Dave: was super impactful and they were very aware at a young age that they needed to do that. Right? Yeah.

Their courtship was fucking with their future. Yep. And the shit that they dealt with in the past, which is every single one of us, our, our biggest threat in my, in my mind is comfort. 

Angie: A thousand percent. 

Dave: Right? Like comfort of like, wow, maybe there's an arrival. Maybe we've made it. Are we willing to put our chips on the table again?

That comfort, whereas right now feels like it's mm-hmm. The thing that's so important, important to everybody, which everyone's chasing down mean, Gary Breca says like aging is the aggressive pursuit of comfort. That comfort can become our prison. Very quickly, our resentment to each other, our resentment to ourselves, and all of a sudden the thing that we were chasing down and unwilling to break it again, die again, [00:24:00] becomes the thing that we were avoiding in the first place and kills us anyway.

Mm-hmm. Kills the relationship. 

Angie: Yeah, because how many times I've, I've thought about it a thousand times. I mean, I think my, like feelings of you. Like, change with my cycle, like I really do. I think there's something to it, like a woman's cycle on how her emotions change, but as we're talking about this, like, I'm falling in love with you a different way.

Dave: Hmm. 

Angie: Because I'm going, oh shit. Like there's some, there's, there's potential we haven't tapped and we've been so comfortable because we have a good marriage. Right. We're, we're, we're good at this and we have a good partnership. We have a pretty good routine on how we interact with each other, how we communicate with each other.

But like there is so much more that we haven't even like 

Dave: touched, 

Angie: not even touched, but we haven't even, like, it's not even in our atmosphere. Like we don't even know it exists yet. And so like as you're talking about it and like thinking about like letting all this go and like into these new people, like you are such a different person than when I met you, like [00:25:00] complete fucking night and day.

And it's like I get to be married to that guy. I don't have to be married to that other guy. You know what I mean? Like that's exciting shit. 

Dave: Some people may be going, oh, well what a, what a convenient problem to have. 

Angie: Mm-hmm. 

Dave: I would argue that if you're fighting and you're having a hard time right now, you may be on the precipice of breaking through and having the relationship you've wanted this entire time.

Yep. And you've been putting on all the work and you've been willing to collide with each other, and it's been hard, and you've been in the fucking dark for so long that this divorce is just the final, like this. Burning it D to the ground. This ending of this part is just the final thing before you give yourself the permission to get the fruit of all that work you put in on the other side.

And this is the last thing to reframe. Like, holy shit, why is it so fucking hard? I would argue. The fact that you're willing to put in all this work and it's hard. Now you just gotta reframe and be like, we went through the hardest part of this relationships, now we're [00:26:00] honest even more. We've made it through the now.

Let's enjoy the part of the curve that we have, not let ourselves enjoy. So you may be looking at this like, should I maybe getting divorced? No, you may be getting ready for the next. Five year glow up in your relationship that you didn't even know was there, and you almost bailed on it three feet from gold.

Angie: A thousand percent. And how many people look at their spouse and are like, I mean, I've done it to you before, like, and I know you have to me, like I've seen it in your face where you're like, I fucking hate you right now. Right? Like, there's been, we, we spend every minute together, right? There's gotta be those moments.

I know people that have fallen, they think they've fallen out of love and they think that they don't have anything else with their spouse and it comes full circle. And now they have a better relationship than they ever did. Right. Like you people I think get comfortable into that. Like, oh, well it's never gonna work.

This person is who he is and this is what it is. Or they don't trust. They don't trust themselves. Exactly. So they're 

Dave: not gonna trust the other person. They've both lied to [00:27:00] themselves for too long. And then this is, that's why like. You go through all these things anyway. Yep. You reinvent yourself. You're really making a new contract with yourself.

Right? Yeah. And you've had enough, why not try it with the person that you've married and had kids? 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: I think there's also gonna be relationships like us that on the surface, or maybe even not even like us, but relationships where everyone thinks it's fine. Yeah. And then it's not where 

Angie: shit comes up.

Totally. 

Dave: Right. I remember that's how it was like after we got married, we were like, we're at newlyweds and untouchable. And the next thing you know, I'm throwing a suitcase against the wall at a Tony Robbins event on the love day. Yeah. Right. And you're like, where the hell did that come from? Mm-hmm. And some people are like, well then why would I want to do that?

I'm like, well. You wanna bury that for another 10 years and then find out when you're fucking 60. 

Angie: Yeah. You can't fully commit to this. Burning it down and letting that stuff go. You have problem. Yes. You gotta get it all out. It's going to affect how you move forward into the next two phases. 

Dave: This is the detox?

Yes. This is the reset. It's It's [00:28:00] a cleansing. This is the cleansing. Yes. You gotta get all that shit out. 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: But then you also gotta make sure that this contract is right and you gotta continue doing it because. Whether it's 10 years, five years, three years, you gotta go fucking do it again. Mm-hmm. But if you do it in a beautiful way and you do it fully, then your possibilities are limitless.

Mm-hmm. 'cause now your vision and the possibility of what is out there 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: Is. Infinite. 

Angie: Mm-hmm. 

Dave: Because you're not held back by what you thought the limits of the relationship were and are. 

Angie: Right. 

Dave: And it really becomes, this can't lose. I'm divinely guided and protected by the universe in God. I have my soul mate, my soul woman, and we have this so contract.

Angie: Mm-hmm. 

Dave: What can we now create? 

Angie: Yep. [00:29:00] 

Dave: And I think that's, that's a beautiful thing. 

Angie: I do too. 

Dave: So I guess that's the second phase and we'll, we'll talk about that next, 

Angie: the next episode. So we just talked about phase one of this method, burning it down to the ground. So this method that we've talked about is, comes in three phases, three major phases.

So you have the burning it down and you have the sole contract where you're literally creating this contract. Mm-hmm. And then it is integration time. 

Dave: Real world integration. 

Angie: Exactly. And looking at the next 10 years and all 

Dave: of the things that are gonna challenge this through outside people, to outside things and whatnot.

But if you're trying to do this at home on your own, you have to be careful because if you're not doing all three steps. Then you could really screw this up. Mm-hmm. You could screw up your relationship. Right. Because this is the dark, this is the pit part. Like this is the honesty and we gotta get through it and.

You are gonna break it all down. 'cause we gotta break down in order to break through. Mm-hmm. [00:30:00] So if you do this without building that compelling future, that new soul contract that gets you excited, that it, the thing that you are finally letting go of everything else in order to step into this. Then you stopped it too quickly and now you are left in pieces.

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: So we have to make sure that it goes in order. So this phase one is burn it down. 

Angie: Yep. 

Dave: Strip it away. Phase two is build it back up. What now can we be? Mm-hmm. And then phase three is integration. Right? How are we 

Angie: integrating this? How are we looking at this? What does the future look like? 

Dave: How do you live it?

Because what? Like, you're gonna get to this raw, honest, we're gonna get this even we're already raw and honest, but going through this process is, it's a transformation. Mm-hmm. And it's hard enough to do self transformation. It's a whole nother game to do it with another [00:31:00] human being. And now you're soul connected.

You have your contract and you are excited to take on the world, and then the world pushes back. 

Angie: Yep. Mm-hmm. Right. 

Dave: So integration. So all three phases are very important here. And so there's gonna be opportunities to do these. And coursework and you know, eight to 12 weeks of coursework and actual events when couples come to us and we bring them through all three phases, retreats.

Angie: So as we create this, this program, this method, we're going to take people along with us, right, every step of the way, and really, really open the kimono and be like, here's what is going on. And you said to open 

Dave: the kimono like me, right? I know. I love it. Yeah. We're okay. We're to the point where, like, how we're getting married, the trips were going on Yes.

To break it down. Yeah. The whole, the whole experience is gonna be going through. Yeah. 

Angie: So we're gonna, we're gonna bring you in this whole experience, and in addition to that, while we're doing it ourselves, we're gonna be creating these sacred containers that have [00:32:00] these experiences, whether they're retreats, whether they're courses.

So if our viewers, listeners are interested, we're gonna have a wait list in our show notes. Fill it out and you will get all the updates as we go along. 

Dave: I'm excited. Same. I can't wait. I'm excited to bring you all through it too. 'cause we are gluttons for punishment here, wanting to, experiencing this in real time, in real life in front of all of you.

Um, and 

Angie: shit's gonna get real, 

Dave: but that is why we are. Um, uniquely positioned to be able to bring other people through it. Mm-hmm. And so get ready for the ride.