The Next Perfect Step
Candid conversations about spirituality, how to navigate in the world, channeled messages, guided meditations, book reviews and other topics. We invite comments and questions as we look to connect with a community of similar interests.
The Next Perfect Step
Mindfulness and the Path to Inner Peace: Paula Vital's Journey
What happens when you achieve everything you thought would make you happy, only to find yourself empty and wondering "what's next?" Paula Vital's transformative journey from striving lawyer to mindfulness advocate offers a roadmap for anyone caught in the exhausting cycle of achievement without fulfillment.
Growing up in an immigrant family of high achievers, Paula internalized the message that her worth came from accomplishments. This drive propelled her to success as a lawyer in a prestigious firm (literally in a "golden tower"), yet sitting in her corner office, she found herself depressed and disconnected from joy. "To be depressed is the need for deep rest from the person you're trying so hard to be," she shares, quoting Jim Carrey.
Paula's awakening began with a simple yet profound realization: "You are more than just your thoughts." This concept, encountered in Jon Kabat-Zinn's book "Wherever You Go, There You Are," shattered her identity and opened a path to self-discovery beyond the thinking mind. Through mindfulness practices, she learned to observe her thoughts rather than be controlled by them, recognizing they "are not always true and not always helpful and certainly not always kind."
Rather than abandoning her legal career, Paula gradually integrated mindfulness into her professional life, eventually developing programs that reach over 60,000 government employees. Her approach demonstrates that we don't need dramatic life changes to follow our passion—sometimes it's about bringing authenticity into existing structures.
The heart of Paula's message lies in the shift from "achieve to receive"—recognizing that we're already whole, already loved, already enough. "You're the gift," she explains, "and anything else is bonus. You make the world better just by your presence, not by your doing."
Join us for this deeply moving conversation that includes a beautiful guided meditation and practical wisdom for finding peace in a culture obsessed with productivity. If you've ever felt the emptiness of achievement without fulfillment, this episode offers a gentle reminder that another way is possible.
Good morning everyone and welcome to the next Perfect Step, where all possibilities lie in conversation. I'm your co-host, lori Mullen.
Speaker 2:And I'm your co-host, Kim McStay.
Speaker 3:And I'm your co-host, Lori Tremblay. Today we have another wonderful guest, Paula Vitale. She's from Toronto. She's joining us today and Paula is an award-winning mindfulness and mindfulness coach, yoga therapist, speaker and writer, and she's dedicated to helping you move from striving to thriving by accessing the power of the present moment. With over 20 years of experience in the field of mindful leadership and health, Paula is passionate about helping people integrate ease, clarity and well-being into all aspects of their life. What a wonderful calling. So we're happy to have Paula with us today and we'd love to just hear about your life and how you get into this field. I know you are a lawyer and you're doing a lot in the corporate and personal world with people, so we'd love to hear more about how you got started.
Speaker 4:Sure. So first of all, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. You're all just so lovely and it's a wonderful space, so I feel very welcome and almost like a sisterhood, even though we've never met in person. So it's really, really great and thank you to everyone for listening, to everyone for listening. It's my pleasure to be with you and to share a little bit of what I've learned and hopefully it resonates and helps you along your journey.
Speaker 4:So for me, my family and I moved from Argentina to Canada when I was nine and I was in a family of overachievers. My mom was a doctor and she was also a mom of four, so at that time that was really kind of crazy to be able to do that. And then my father was an engineer and also a social activist, very involved in community. And then, when we moved to Canada, it was also this push for a better life, for more, to make the world better, which is lovely, and it's always been very close to my heart and I also took that on. It's my job to do well, to make the world better, to be the best I can be. So it was this drive to succeed that you know I inherited I'm also Jewish. That, you know. I inherited. I'm also Jewish and that's a lot of our ancestry is about, you know, tikkun olam, healing the world. So we work hard to make the world better and it's beautiful.
Speaker 4:And what happened was I did well in school, I went to law school, I traveled the world, I became a fitness instructor. I worked at Club Med for a summer as a fitness instructor there. So I did all these things. But what I found is that, because my habit of achieving and moving forward and moving to the next thing was so entrenched, as soon as I got the thing, whatever it was, it was the happiness, the contentment was very short-lived, so I was like, okay, well, that's okay, but what next? What next? So I I was always living, moving into the future, and even physically, I think it's like forward, and in fitness I was running and spinning and always like fast, go, go, go, um. And this worked really well for me until I got into my law firm. So I went to law school and then again there's this big rush, for you know the big firms. They come and they recruit you at law school and then you get a summer job and an articling job and then you have to compete for an associate position. So I did that and I knew there were only two out of 10 that were going to get in. So I worked really hard and I got a position. And then I was sitting in this big office and it's kind of ironic because it's actually literally a golden tower we have in Toronto that has gold and I was sitting in this golden tower looking out the window and then I was like, okay, what next, you know? So I just I had this.
Speaker 4:I call it my quarter life crisis because I was around 24, 25. And you know, I traveled the world, I'd done all the things. But then it's like, okay, well, what now? And I thought, okay, well, maybe if I have a perfect body, because that's what they tell you, you know, if you look really good.
Speaker 4:So then I started to get obsessed with diet and exercise, to the point that it became a compulsion, so it became an eating disorder. And then I was still. I was thinner, but I was still not happy. So I thought, maybe, if I'm in the perfect relationship. So I became obsessed with dating and it's like, if I find the perfect guy, uh, and. But then I found a boyfriend. So I had a boyfriend, I had a thinner body, I had a good job, and then it was still not. I was.
Speaker 4:I was feeling not good inside, and so that's when things kind of started to collapse. So I just lost my interest in work. I'm like, what's the point of, you know, working so hard? Where am I going? And I started to get depressed. So some days I would just have really low energy and I couldn't get out of bed and my mom would come help me for a few days and I would almost like put myself back together and go out there. And I love this quote by Jim Carrey that I've heard, that he says to be depressed is the need for deep rest from the person that you're trying so hard to be. And so that was my source of my depression was I was trying so hard to be this perfect person that's going to be amazing and that's going to fix the world and it's going to do everything, but it just like fell apart. It was just too much effort. And so my sister meditated At the time this was weird, like now it's more mainstream and people do it and it's more normal in a way, but at the time it was like what?
Speaker 4:What are you doing? But for some reason I got curious, maybe because I just ran out of options, I didn't know what else to do. So I said what's this thing with meditation that you do? And so she recommended a book called Wherever you Go, there you Are, by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and I thought, ha, you know, just even the title alone was so revealing, like I've gone to all these places in the world and I've done all these things and I've been with all these people, but everywhere I go I find myself. So if I don't know myself, if I don't even spend time, you know, getting curious about who I am and what's important to me and what I value, then there was really no achievement, no person, no diet that was going to get me there. So it really kind of shifted my whole way of thinking.
Speaker 4:And he said something else in that book and I was so unable to be still at that time that I would just do stuff around my house while I listened to the audio tape. So for people that think, oh, I can't meditate because I, you know, I, I I'm too, and I actually walked out of my first yoga class because it was too slow for me. So, so, and so if you're that person that you know, you just can't. So I would just listen to the audio tape and I would do stuff around my house. And then he said you are more than just your thoughts. And then I kind of stopped and I said what you know, my whole life I've been my thoughts. If I had a problem, I would you know pro and con it, I would talk to everybody about it, I would obsess about it continuously. But if I'm more than my thoughts, then what else is there? And so that became a really interesting exploration for me.
Speaker 4:So I started to dive in and I learned that there's actually a whole lot of who we are that is more than our thinking, and our thinking is just like a little part of our consciousness and we can observe it. And it's not always true and it's not always helpful and certainly not always kind. And that's, I think, the piece that I've been working on the most with myself and with my clients over the last 20 years or so, because this idea that if we beat ourselves like a horse, you know to just like go faster, we'll do better, works for a period of time until the horse collapses right. So something's going to go. But yet, if we do it the other way, if we learn what we love and bring joy and kindness, then you know your horse will continue on. It'll just want to do more things for you.
Speaker 4:So so, yeah, that's kind of how I got started and it became my life's passion to do it for myself and then to help others with this transformation from the constant thinking that there's something else outside of yourself that will make you whole or will make you happier. Sure, things can bring temporary content. You know joy and that's beautiful, and going after your dreams and doing fun things. But you don't need to Like. You can do it because it's fun, you know, and because you want to. But you're whole and complete. You're the gift and anything else is bonus. You're the one that makes the world better, just by your presence, not by your doing.
Speaker 3:I love that. That is amazing. Everything that you said is so true and how you can go from your, your thinking, your mind, your thoughts, to bring it really to your heart. You know to who. Who you are, as bring it really to your heart. You know to who. Who you are as as a person, just like you said, you're enough as you are in your presence is just a gift. I like that's a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing that and that you found your way from such a um striving we call it going around the gerbil, going around the wheel but you found your way out of that and now you're helping other people to do that, so that's great. Your analogy with the horses I think Kim can relate. She's got horses on her ranch.
Speaker 2:And it's true, the kinder you are, the more patient you are, the more you get out of them, and they love helping you and working for you when you're like that. So that was pretty neat to hear you say that.
Speaker 4:So are you still a lawyer? Yeah, so that was kind of just the beginning, right? So what happened since then was I fell in love with mindfulness and I wanted to learn everything about it. So I did my yoga teacher training early on, while I was still at the law firm, and I remember going to yoga class and it was like at 5.30 in the afternoon. I'm like I don't know, because I worked till 8, 9 at night and my world was people that worked till 8, 9 at night. So I said who are these people that go to yoga at 5.30? And my goal? I said I want to go to yoga at 5.30. I want to find a way to do this.
Speaker 4:So I started doing it at the firm. You know, I would go to my yoga and then I would do my work. And I even did a 10-day meditation retreat, even though you weren't really supposed to take your vacation time. You got it but you weren't supposed. But I took my 10 days and I, you know, at that time we had blackberries, it was, you know, the new thing but I didn't take it. But eventually it wasn't.
Speaker 4:The expectations of that place and how I wanted to live my life weren't meshing. And I remember, actually, at the meditation retreat, I was still very addicted to trying to figure things out in my mind. So they told me focus on your breath. And I said I can't, because I need to figure out what my next job will be. I need to think about it. And they're like no, just focus on the breath. And it was the hardest thing is my mind was like no, where are you going to go? What are the options? You know pros and cons, like different type of law, different. You know like. And so I, but my mind kept going, but I would just like, calmly, you know, just come back to the breath. And then it became a body scan later, and so I didn't solve it through the mind. And so I didn't solve it through the mind.
Speaker 4:But, funny enough, when I left that retreat, like two weeks later, somehow I had already reached out to some places and one of them was government, so civil service, and within two weeks I got a call that somebody wanted me to come in. And then we met and I got a job offer the next day after the retreat. So it's these magical things that happen when you let go of the thinking mind and just trust that. It's almost like it's happening anyway. You know, your path of life is already happening and we kind of just get in the way by trying to make it happen. And so it was like wow, get in the way by trying to make it happen. And so it was like wow, that. So I found myself within three, four weeks in a government job, which is where I still am.
Speaker 4:I've done different roles within government. I work now on intergovernmental affairs, which is relationships between governments, but at the same time so that was around 2006, and I was doing my yoga teacher training and I had a manager there that sorry, I'm just going to turn off my beeps, I should have done that already. But I had a manager at one of my offices that said, oh, that's really interesting that you're doing this yoga. Maybe you can come into do a lunch and learn on yoga, right? So that was my first one, my first time kind of integrating.
Speaker 4:I had like my yoga world over here and my public service job over here, and she said, oh, why don't you bring it in?
Speaker 4:I said, huh, okay, and then all of a sudden I realized that I didn't have to be ashamed of that part of myself, because I almost felt like, oh, you know, people won't like that, they think it's lazy, or so I kept that kind of hidden and then I saw not everybody, but some people were interested so I started to bring it in.
Speaker 4:More and more and more people would ask me to teach and it grew and grew and grew to the point that now we have a mindfulness program that is for the whole Ontario Public Service, so that's over 60,000 people, and we have like 10 facilitators and we have multiple sessions a day and so and we go and we do workshops, and so it's become a bigger and bigger chunk of what I do at work in my office.
Speaker 4:So so that's it's. It's interesting because for a long time I also struggled with if I want to become, you know, a yoga teacher, a meditation teacher, do I have to leave? And over time I realized that that wasn't necessary for now, that actually I could do a lot of my work where I am and then eventually build it outside as well, but that there's there's a need for this work everywhere. So that's another interesting thing for the listeners that maybe you have a dream of teaching or doing something, but then you find your daily life is very different than that, that it's okay to take a little bit of that and bring it in, like just to talk to people about it, to let it feed your life, because you never know who you're going to help by sharing what lights you up that's wonderful and that is the main thing.
Speaker 1:When we start living from our joy, it just opens so many avenues. And when we start really making joy and our passion our number one thing, those limiting beliefs, like you said, like you can't, you didn't want to talk about it, they seem to go away. Because this is more important my joy, my passion is more important than anybody else's belief or any other people's opinions. And that's really where you grow the strength and more joy in your life, when you let go of all of that and just make your joy and, like you said in the beginning, can't come from anywhere else, but in here. There's nothing or anyone who can make you happy except you, and I 100% agree, which is also what changes the world.
Speaker 1:When we change ourselves. We can't do anything to change the world except live from our joy. And I think what you said about the mind and the heart, that when you start to become the observer of your thoughts and you start realizing I mean those ego thoughts that are the loudest, right, right and when you start to think these aren't, these aren't my thoughts, these are past emotions or past cycles that are coming back up, that I, that I'm just living over and over again. You can hear that quiet inner wisdom and whisper that tells you live from your joy. Do this, this isn't fun. Do this and I think. Eventually, what I would like is to more lead from the feeling of joy and then have my thoughts follow, instead of, like you said, we are trained to think and then feel. I'd like to feel and then think.
Speaker 4:Totally, and I found that recently with two things. So for a while I did actually take time off. I took six months off work to just work on my mindfulness coaching Right, and it was wonderful because, you know, I built a coaching program and now I have a certified program for lawyers a thriving lawyer. I have a certified program for lawyers the Thriving Lawyer. So I did all these things, but I found what was interesting was that I brought my driven nature to my passion. I said, okay, now I have six months and I got to build it, you know. And then it started to lose its joy. And so I realized again that I thought, okay, if I have, you know, all the time to do what I love, then it's going to be awesome. But it was this subtle, it was about the way I was doing it that wasn't that helpful. So near the end of my leave I was like, wait a second, what if I again just find joy, meet people you know, help, when I can share what I love about this instead of making it a to-do? And then I was.
Speaker 4:When I came, come back into work, I realized I didn't need to leave. So that that's one thing. But the other thing is, but I want to keep growing it, like what you said, lori, like, wait a second. In my heart, I feel like this is my joy, this is my passion, this is what I'm here for. So I want to keep growing it. So what do I do? And so that's when I thought okay, well, maybe I can write because I love writing. So I started writing, and the writing process has been the first time where I'm trying to do what you say, lori. So instead of like thinking, okay, I must do this, I must have this, you know this particular publisher or this process to do it, it's like give myself space. So I started by giving myself 30 minutes a day to write, and sometimes I would split it in 15 minutes. 15 minutes and then just listen to my heart and and just just do it.
Speaker 4:And sometimes you get the fear like, oh no, is it good? Who's going to read it? And then that's okay, you know that's something that's arising. So then you work with that. Oh, the fear is here, you know, and maybe you write about it, you know so. So it's like oh, you know, I'm trying to write my book, but fear tells me I can't do it, so then maybe I put it in my book right. So you start to explore and it's a whole different way of living your life, because now, so, now I'm at the point where I've written a good chunk and so I'm meeting people. Okay, well, what's the next step? You know I'm meeting somebody on Monday that might edit it.
Speaker 4:I met other people that are publishers, but I don't know, you know, I don't know what's gonna happen, and it requires a lot of trust that, as as we live this way, we can try with small things. You just even like what you're gonna wear, you know, and not like, think about, like, what's the right thing, what do I feel, like where, what color do I feel? You know, like, try the little things or what I want to eat, not because it's healthy for you or it's like your treat, or whatever, it's just like what does your body actually want in this moment, like your animal self, you know, and it's so, so refreshing and fun and free. So, but we don't know. So we have to almost accept the uncertainty.
Speaker 4:I don't know what's going to happen with this book, where it's going to go, who's going to publish it. It might not get published at all, it might turn into something else, but it doesn't matter, as long as I'm having fun with it and I'm I'm um it that it's an expression of who I am throughout the process, and then the outcome will be what the outcome would be. So it's almost like the backwards way of how I used to live, like I'm going to do this right, and then it's like work really hard and you know you suffer until you get there. But then it's like what was the point? Instead of like enjoy every step and maybe I'll get there, maybe I'll get there, maybe I'll end up here, but what does it matter?
Speaker 3:And that's how I met Paula was through. Well, laurie Mullen had told me about my duly and his notes from the universe, and then I saw that he had an infinite possibilities workshop it's called the writer's layer last month in August, so we Paula was in the group too and then the last, the last group of the month, you know, breakout session. So she and I were in the same breakout session and we were just kind of introducing ourselves and I mentioned podcasts and that's how we got to know each other and we had a little conversation after that. And Lori Mullen has just recently published a book as well, called Living your Dream Life. Yeah, so what is your book about?
Speaker 4:Yeah, so it's actually about a lot of what we're talking about. So the working titles are I have two options. You can tell me what you think. So one is the Masks of Achievement, uncovering your essential self. So the way you know, we mask to achieve and to look a particular way, or from achieve to receive, the path back to yourself. Because I also realized, like, why was I? What's the drive behind the achieving?
Speaker 4:I was hoping to get something I wanted to get and when I really got quiet about it is I wanted to get a sense of being loved, of being accepted, of being connected and appreciated for for who I am, and I thought you know, if I just do the thing, then people will really appreciate me and love me. But people don't really care. Frankly, if anything, they're a little jealous. When you do the thing, maybe some people, your really good friends will be happy for you. Everyone else will just be a little jealous. But if instead, you receive, and one of the paths that I pursued I pursued many different yoga and mindfulness paths, but because of my ancestry, I got very interested in Kabbalah a few years ago, which is the Jewish mystical path which is actually open to everybody. You don't have to be Jewish to learn it, and I had made.
Speaker 4:I always find a word of the year, and my word of the year that year and this was maybe like 2023 or so was receive. I wanted to receive. I wanted to receive because we are, we're like, alive. It's amazing, there's breath, there's vitality, we're receiving every moment, we're receiving a life and it's so beautiful, but we forget, we think we have to get it. We're loved every moment. So if I can just tap into that each day and receive it, then I don't have to achieve anything, you know, because I already received it.
Speaker 4:So, from achieve to receive, and it turned out and I started starting Kabbalah that year, and it means receive. Kabbalah, the word means to receive. So I was like wait a second, I'm onto something here. So that's what I hope for people is that they're able to move from trying to think if I just achieve the relationship, the job, the, whatever the dream is, even, I have to say even, because now I've been struggling with world peace, you know, wanting harmony in the world and it's so frustrating when you see it going in the opposite direction Even that, to soften that and instead receive the love and the perfect peace that is available and be that as you walk through the world and share it. Ironically, I think it'll bring more peace than really like trying really hard and fighting people that disagree with you.
Speaker 1:That's the thing, right. I mean that is the way that we create new is to bring it within ourselves so we can bring the peace, the world peace we want, and live in a space of peace. Then the more of us that do that, the more we can create it in the world. But when we're trying to go around controlling everybody else to want what they don't want, all we're doing is uncreating that within ourselves. We're creating the same thing that we're fighting against, same thing that we're fighting against. So if, instead of trying to make the world peaceful, if we bring that peace within ourselves and more people see that state of real peace you're living in, they want that for themselves. And if we, if everybody, just did that for themselves, we really could create world peace.
Speaker 1:But you can't. We really need in this society right now is to stop thinking that we can control everybody else or we can want for them what they don't want for themselves. That's a lesson for me, a huge lesson for me, because I mean especially to the people closest to us that we love, we really we want better for them, but I can't want better for them than they want for themselves. All I can do is love them where they are and hope that they want something different than they're going through right now, which you know I'm not great at. I'm learning, I'm still trying to become that new person, but I just I. Really we have to start within ourselves instead of stop trying to control or think we can fix or heal something else.
Speaker 4:I love that and that is the work. That's the work now For me. What I've been observing this because I have family members with different views and then it's like, but I noticed there's I have to work with my own fear, right, because it's like I'm afraid, I'm afraid for them or I'm afraid for the world or I'm afraid. And then that's been such a challenging lesson to work with our own fear that it's just unpleasant sensation in the body and we can give it love and we can again receive of all that's good now and send them love.
Speaker 2:but it's, it's challenging yeah, I think it's challenging too, and I think it's very challenging to really understand how to receive you know because so many people that I know, including myself.
Speaker 2:I'm much better about that now, but I tend to sabotage what I receive because I think, oh well, why are they doing that?
Speaker 2:You know, like, what's the ulterior motive? And what I've learned over the years of working with a lot of this stuff and the horses have helped is that you know we really have to find everything we need within ourselves and not have any expectations from the people around us to react the way we quote want them to react because they're not going to it's you know. I mean, they might one time out of 152 react the way you specifically want them to, but you know, most of the time it doesn't work that way. So if you can find your own love in your own self to fill those voids and I've lived alone while I have my grandson, but you know I haven't had a partner in close to 20 years on a steady basis and I've really learned how to rely on myself and to really accept my own inner love and it's really taught me how to receive. So I don't know if you have anything to add to that. Like you know, for the listeners to how do you learn to receive?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I love that, kim, because for so long I was angry at my parents because I felt like I didn't. You know. I figured all this out like, oh you know, why am I always striving and I don't feel love, and it's like they should have loved me more, like it was their fault. And then I worked through that, trying to forgive them and love them and accept them. But now I am married and I have two teenagers, well, preteen 12 and 15.
Speaker 4:And let me tell you, if you expect to get the love from your family, you're going to be miserable again and again, because they're doing the best they can. It's not always very good, you know so, and we, I do believe that we come into this world. Recently, I've been having in my meditation, these experiences of imagine the time you're born. Okay, so you're born and you're in this womb and everything's like perfect. You're like relaxed and the temperature is great and all is good. And then you come out and it's cold and it's like bright and there's all these. And then you look at your parents. You're like, oh, maybe they can bring me back right To that place where I'll finally again. It's like we miss this place of feeling complete and we think, oh, my parents should do it, my partner should do it, my kids should do it, good luck with that one, you know, or something, including other people. So, absolutely, for me it's been that same work of it.
Speaker 4:Comes from where do you receive from? It comes from nature. It comes from finding an exploration within yourself of what it is that brings you joy, like if you catch little things. Like for me, when I, you know, started to do that not the first time I did yoga, but later I started to find that in movement, uh and breath, there was some, some kind of joy. So I started to do more of the things that brought me joy. Uh, sometimes pets, you know animals joy. Sometimes pets, you know animals. So I would say, for the listener, what brings you that state? Maybe it's listening to a guided meditation. Oh, this is huge. Other people that are, but not the people that you want to give you love. Other people that are connected to this idea, you know, that are working on spiritual growth. Then it's like, oh, I found my community of like-minded people that were doing this work together. How can we love ourselves? So we can, you know, if one day I'm not feeling good. Maybe I can text Kim and be like you know what I feel really crummy today and Kim will say remember, you have what you need inside yourself to find breath. You know, find breath, use mantras there's so many tools and to not get lost in the tool also, because for a while I was like, oh, this tool will do it, or this type of yoga or this, but it's more. They're just tools that you explore.
Speaker 4:Journaling is really nice. I journal every day and I ask what's the most important thing today, you know, and then I kind of get clarity. And it's a process of finding those spaces within yourself where you're not receiving. So I do it through the body as opposed to the mind. So you'll notice the places in the body that feel tense and stuck and they're like, no, I don't want to rest, I don't want breath, I want, I need to do something and to just be with them Like you would like you would for a little pet or a little child. You know, we build those two parts of ourselves the parts that are scared and want to receive and the part that is unconditionally loving. And then, with practice, lots of practice, the unconditionally loving part starts to grow. Visualization is really helpful. Loving part starts to grow. Visualization is really helpful.
Speaker 4:A few years ago, I had this image that came to me of this beautiful woman with white clothes and blonde hair, and I think she reminds me of somebody when I was a young child, at summer camp, and everybody made fun of me because I was different, because I was an immigrant.
Speaker 4:I wore different clothes, I didn't speak English so well, so everybody made fun of me, including the counselors. It was such a painful experience. I was an immigrant, I wore different clothes, I didn't speak English so well, so everybody made fun of me, including the counselors. It was such a painful experience. I was sitting by myself but there was this one woman she was a counselor in training who sat next to me and she was like I think it's them, it's not you, you know. I think she's like, I think you're just a little more mature than they are and I thought really it's not me. So, thinking about people in your life that have given you that sense of I'm okay, and then maybe even visualizing them, bringing them in. So I do a lot of that kind of work with people in terms of visualizing themselves when they're four or five, if you want, we can actually do it together. We could do a little meditation that would be nice, that would be helpful.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that would be nice. Yes, should we do that now, or anything else you wanted to chat about first? Sure, we could do that. That would be great.
Speaker 4:Let's do that let's do it, because this is what I do for myself and for my clients. When you're not feeling that you're worthy of receiving, you're not feeling loved, you're feeling like none of this is working. So you can settle into a comfortable posture, and this can be seated or lying down, whatever feels good for you. And if you have something comforting, like a blanket or a pillow, you're welcome to bring it in and you can feel free to close your eyes, or you can soften your gaze. And let's begin by settling the body, so noticing your body on the earth, and notice that the earth supports you, so feeling held and connected to the earth beneath you, noticing also that you're breathing and I invite you to place two hands on your belly if that feels good for you, and allow the belly to get really big with each inhale, so slowing down the breath and telling your body it's actually safe right now, in this moment, it's okay to have a full breath. So the belly expands and then the ribs expand as if they were an umbrella. So, as you breathe in, first the belly expands and then the ribs open like an umbrella and the breath goes all the way up into the heart and then, on the exhale, let it go, and then just do this umbrella breath a few more times, so breathing in belly, opening the ribs all the way into the heart. And in your exhale, notice how you're held and supported by the earth. And one more Beautiful.
Speaker 4:And now, imagining in your mind's eye a beautiful scene, your perfect place. It could be somewhere you've been, or it could be an imagined location, your perfect destination, your dream vacation spot. And you see yourself there. Notice the smells, the sights, notice how it feels to be there. And then picture yourself shrinking down to the age of four or five. So there you are, small child, in this beautiful scene, and allow yourself to play, to run, to do whatever you like to do. And then, out of the corner of the scene, comes this beautiful being. Could be someone you know or someone you don't know, or it could even be an animal. So this wonderful being's coming closer to you and you realize that they're so happy to see you. You feel so much love, just complete, unconditional love.
Speaker 4:So you see this being, you come together, they say hello and you embrace in whatever way feels good, and then they ask you what would you like to do now? And together you play, you swim, you run, whatever you want to do, maybe you fly, anything is possible and you do it together. And then you sit down after a while of playing and they ask you how are you? Tell me everything? So you start to tell them all your worries, all your thoughts, all your concerns about your family and the world and other people and the ways that you don't feel like you're good enough. And they just listen so lovingly and you notice that as you talk you feel a little bit lighter and you're giving over to this being all of your worries, all your concerns, all your concerns, all your troubles, and they say just give me everything and I will transform it for you.
Speaker 4:So as you do that, you start to feel lighter and lighter, you notice this dark color moving from you to your being and then your being actually just moves it into the earth to be transformed so it doesn't harm anything.
Speaker 4:So allowing all of it, the deepest, darkest black mud in your heart, letting it go to your friend to be transformed, letting it go to your friend to be transformed.
Speaker 4:And as you sit there together, you notice that the beautiful sun is shining right on top of your head and you feel this golden sunshine coming into the top of your head and clearing your whole body, filling it with this golden light so that any remaining blackness becomes seen and can be transferred over to your friend with each exhale. So breathing in the light of the sun into your whole body, breathing out, letting go anything you don't know. You no longer need Doing that a few more times. Breathing in love and light, breathing out, releasing, letting go of all tension. And now it's time to say goodbye to your friend. But they remind you that they're always here for you. So whenever you need them, you can just call them over and they will carry all your worries and all your concerns so that you can be free. So whenever you're ready, you can wiggle your fingers and your toes Give yourself a stretch.
Speaker 4:And coming back together again.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much.
Speaker 4:That was beautiful. I needed that this morning, thank you. Trauma, so any past hurts that we haven't fully felt. They get stuck, you know. And so we just slowly, slowly, slowly clear it, bring in light, give over to the earth or to your friend or to your higher self, whatever resonates for you, to God, whatever in nature, and that's how we do it. We receive from that higher self, but we continually, as because we're human, we're never going to be free of all fear and anger. They're a part of who we are. So we just clear it for the, for the moment, and elevate the consciousness, give it love it's a good practice to continue to do, yeah, the clearing.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much. I I feel like I've really been inspired today by what you've been talking about and thank you for everything, if you have. Do you have anything else you'd like to share with the listeners?
Speaker 4:So, yeah, I just feel really grateful that we had this opportunity to connect and for me to express how I'm seeing things these days, and I just want to encourage everybody to. My teacher of mine told me to never suffer alone because there are so many of us that can help each other. So I see us all. I think Ramda says we're all walking each other home right, so we're all in this together and it's a dark, tough time out there, so don't feel you need to do this by yourself. Reach out to me at any time. I'm happy to talk to anybody. Maybe we can put in the Zoom my email and website, so feel free to reach out. And, yeah, we're here to support each other and we can still have a life of joy and fun even when things are challenging. So thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's wonderful. We will definitely have all your contact information in the comments below. I definitely know that I will be using that meditation over and over again. That was absolutely beautiful and I look very much forward to hearing about your book and being able to read it when it is published.
Speaker 4:Oh, thank you so much, Lori.
Speaker 1:Kim, did you have any last thoughts? Kim, did you have any last thoughts?
Speaker 2:You're muted Kim. It was great to meet you and you know, I really think a lot of the stuff that you brought up and the conversation is really helpful for a lot of people, so I thank you up and the conversation is really helpful for a lot of people.
Speaker 1:So I thank you, yeah, and I think that this is a conversation we could go on and on again, so we would love to have you back at some point in time and continue this conversation, and thank you very much for being our guest. So if you've liked this conversation as much as we have, we hope you like share and subscribe. And until next time. How is your intuition leading you to the next perfect step?