Thrive & Decide Guide to Divorce and Beyond

What You Need to Know Before Starting Your Divorce: A Guide

• Sarah Thress • Season 1 • Episode 15

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*This podcast was previously shared on my other podcast Come to Find Out.*

Divorce brings about significant change and can be one of the most challenging experiences of your life. In this episode, we enlist the expertise of Ashley Garrison, a dedicated local lawyer whose insights shape how one should navigate the tumultuous waters of divorce. With warmth and wisdom, Ashley breaks down the essential steps to take when entering this difficult process, emphasizing the importance of self-education, emotional management, and financial awareness. 

Are you feeling lost about your financial situation or unsure of how to prepare for your initial meeting with a divorce attorney? Ashley offers practical insights and strategic advice to put you in the driver’s seat of your journey. She stresses documenting your experiences through journaling, creating a timeline that can significantly aid in legal proceedings, while also ensuring that you're prepared for any conversations surrounding finances and property distribution. 

Throughout the conversation, Ashley addresses the emotional aspects of divorce, including maintaining a healthy atmosphere for children during family transitions. She shares personal anecdotes that illuminate the importance of staying focused on living life post-divorce and understanding how best to manage the emotional weight of the situation. 

Listen in as we uncover the nuances of local divorce laws and how they can vary by county. This understanding is crucial in establishing realistic expectations as you move through the legal proceedings. If you're looking for not just support but also a community, we encourage you to explore the Thrive and Decide program—an initiative aimed at helping individuals navigate through transition phases in their lives. 

Join us now for profound insights and valuable tools to empower yourself on your divorce journey. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!

to contact Ashley:

Ashley Garrison
ashley@aacolpa.com
614-565-7508

Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.


Sarah Thress
614-893-5885
Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com
Thrive and Decide Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559936633799
https://www.facebook.com/SarahThressRealtor/
https://www.instagram.com/sarah_thress_realtor/

Real Estate Podcast Come To Find Out:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-to-find-out/id1704949604

Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/

Sarah :

Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Come to Find Out. This week we are speaking with Ashley Garrison and she is a local lawyer here in Dublin and I've worked with her personally on some cases. You know, as I've kind of transitioned into focusing a lot more on helping people that are going through a divorce and all of the needs that that kind of encompasses, as well, as you know, creating this program called thrive and decide super excited about it, and Ashley was, you know, so gracious to take time out of her day to talk to me today and she's also been really gracious with her time and helping with the thrive and decide program. So, um, just really wanted to get her on here and, um, let her kind of walk us through some steps of you know what it looks like when you're in the divorce process and you know what to kind of expect. So thank you so much for joining us, ashley.

Ashley:

Thank you for having me. Yes, I'm happy to talk about kind of the steps that you know a lot of my clients go through when entering kind of the divorce realm. So I feel like you know kind of a lot of clients come to me not knowing anything about their financial situation and, honestly, just kind of lost about where to start and how to put their life together. A lot of times you know, I've had many clients who don't even know what a tax return is and you know their husband or you know other spouse may have controlled all the finances. So I would say you would say kind of, where I start is setting up a consultation with you. I really like to sit down with clients and just start at the very beginning how you got to where you are and just the knowledge that you have up to that point, and just to kind of get an idea of where we're at.

Ashley:

I think that you know so many times clients you know whether they're in a position where they, their spouse, may have filed for divorce and they have no idea what that means, or you know what, what to do from that, where to go from there, or they're in another situation where they've been trapped for years and years and years and you know, maybe they don't control the finances and really just because of that have stayed in the marriage for so long, um. And so I think you know, meeting with me or an attorney, um, to know kind of, um, you know what marital versus separate property is and how, to know, um, you know how to kind of pick apart your finances and to know, you know, what the plan would look like going forward, I think puts people in such a better headspace. Just having like a foundation and kind of a way out. I think is really helpful to start.

Sarah :

Yeah, no, I agree, and I think that's that's such good. You know, like advice to give is just, like you know, come and ask all the questions. You know that. I mean, you're obviously the expert in this. So, uh, you know, we don't all, fortunately, we don't all get divorced every day in and out. So for you, like you get it, um, you know, and then whenever, like once, you're like meeting with them and you're kind of going over stuff, like do you have like top tips that maybe you would give someone before they came to you, like you know, make sure you have, uh, you know this or that, like are there certain things that you would recommend that people have when they come to meet with you that first time?

Ashley:

Or it really just more of a like, hey, let's get to know ya it's definitely like situational, obviously, but I feel like you know a good example of a client that comes to me and is in the initial, initial steps of the divorce or disillusion process, I would say. And how to? I guess sometimes I'll meet with clients who are in the initial steps and a year goes by before we actually kind of pursue the matter and during that year I always tell clients like there are things that you can do to kind of put yourself in a better position um going forward, and so I w I would say one of those things are take the best notes that you can. Um, you know, obviously you can kind of recite things that have happened um to the court and to me. But to actually have notes, um, you know a journal with specific, specific instances, whether it be you know something that happened with your minor children or something that you know happened, you know with the finances that you don't want to forget. I feel like you know having that journal um, I feel like sometimes, when I'm even able to review that journal or to have you start that journal after the first time I met with you, it puts you in a much better prepared position going into the divorce.

Ashley:

I feel like the next thing you know were to be, I don't know, as part of that journal, just record whether it guess, if there's kid related issues, which is kind of, I feel like one half it's finances and kid related issues when obviously it comes to a divorce, are, yeah, just to take as many notes and to just, I guess, watch the things. You know that you're telling the kids about the process that you're going through. I think that that's you know just personally. I think we can both agree that that's not good for the children, just from a personal standpoint, but also the court doesn't, you know, appreciate that either.

Ashley:

So I think just knowing that obviously what you're going through is hard, but keeping your kids out of it the best you can, and kind of setting a precedent for that throughout that process, um paints you, I would say, in a much better light. And just to in for educate yourself. You know, if you've never really, if you've never been involved in the filing of your tax returns, or you know you don't really look at your joint bank account with your husband or you know so many things like that, if you don't know, you know, find out as much as you can going into the consult Um, you know, because I do think you know that is something that you know you're going to have to become informed of and I think the more, the more that you can, you know, find out and educate yourself with um on the way that finances work and things like that. I think that it can really put you at a better spot.

Sarah :

Yeah, no, I love that and I love that you made the um comment, uh, about you know really keeping your kids out of it, because I think that's the biggest thing I know. You know, when I was going through my divorce, that was the one thing that you know my ex-husband and I really agreed on was that that, you know, every decision we made was about our daughter and nothing. We weren't going to sit there and bash each other to her because that wasn't fair. You know, like that's not fair to her. Um, so I love that you said that, because you know taking the high road is going to.

Sarah :

I know some people think like, oh, I've got to win the kids over, so I've got to like bash, you know, their dad, or the dad has to bash the mom. That's not actually the way to win them over. The way to win them over and to show them that you care about them is to just take the high road and you know, just to keep keep the court stuff between you and your you know soon to be ex spouse and you know, just keep the high road with the kids. So totally agree, yeah, I love that.

Sarah :

Um, so obviously here in central Ohio you know there are different rules. You know are there different rules like for every county? You know I know we were kind of talking before we got on here that you know there might be some disclaimers or something that you maybe wanted to- put in there. So I just want to make sure you got those in, so that we cover all your bases.

Ashley:

You got those in so that we cover all your bases. Yes, so yes, I would say a huge disclaimer is that every county in Ohio is different. They all have their own local rules and things like that, and because of that, you know, what I'm saying is kind of a general rule of thumb, but every county is different. Every case is fact specific. Just because you heard that you know one of your friends got, you know, a certain amount of alimony or child support, doesn't mean that your situation, you'll be granted the exact same thing. I feel like a lot of times people compare themselves like you know, they'll talk to friends or family and, you know, come into me and say you know, but my friend got this and their divorce and you know, even though I wish that's sometimes how it worked, it is really fact specific and so I would just say you know, before you take my advice um, just to know that you know, it obviously depends on the county you're in and to consult with your specific attorney about you know what may be applicable to that county.

Sarah :

Yeah, no, I love that. Um, the other thing that I wanted to point out that you had mentioned, um, about the, uh, the journal, um, cause, when I was helping my mom go through a divorce, um, she was very emotional about it and so, um, to translate what she, what was concerning her, into you know something that was easier for her attorney, I just had to, you know, take all emotion out of it and just put, um, you know, just facts onto paper to, you know, give the attorney. Is that something that you recommend? You know, just kind of like, take that emotion out, just do facts, because emotion is just going to, you know, mess up things. I don't know. I just wondered what your take was on that.

Ashley:

Yeah. So I think that you know if, if there it's easy for um, an attorney to kind of pick out, you know the, the specific facts that are, you know, compelling to the court, um, from your journal, and so you know I would say, you know, put as much as you want into the journal. A journal is better than no journal, Obviously, if you can stick, if you're, if you can compartmentalize and kind of know like, okay, these are the facts and these are my emotions that you know are, you know, taken as part of those facts, I would say you know that's whatever you can do on the piece of paper would be great. It's definitely something that I'm used to on a day-to-day basis, definitely to take kind of a timeline that a client wrote or a narrative that a client wrote and to kind of pick apart the things that I find the most compelling and I explained to them. You know. Here's why I think that you know, even though I think that this situation is definitely wrong, you know, I think you know we got to take your emotion out of that situation and just think of, you know what does that mean, going forward, and you know just the facts about why that situation happened and what we can do moving forward, I guess, is what I I feel like a lot of attorneys can kind listen that those are the things that you should really do, because it's so therapeutic, Um, you know, and maybe even, uh, write down everything you know in your journal and then have someone, uh, that can look at it, that you trust, obviously, that can pull out just the facts to make it easier.

Sarah :

You know, my thought was like, let's make your job easier, Um, but also it allows I think it allows the person that's going through it to see okay, here's all my emotion, here's, you know, this super sucks, but here are the facts and here's what you know, I need to focus on, Because if you just focus on the emotion of it when you're going through it, you're going to stay in this dark place and it's, it's just.

Ashley:

Honestly like.

Ashley:

That is why, I think, you know, in certain situations, legal counsel is so helpful, because you know I will say that it is you know it is a divorce is one of the hardest times of your life.

Ashley:

Really easy to have blinders on and to kind of I don't know retaliate against your spouse and to kind of make decisions that you wouldn't otherwise make but you're making because you're obviously going through the hardest time of your life. And so I think that you know, having an attorney who can kind of, who is able to tell you, you know, this is not reasonable, we need to, you know, we need to be reasonable. This is, you know, it's about your kids, or you know it's obviously about, you know, finding closure and peace for you. And so I think that is also helpful to. I think a lot of times it's honestly impossible for you not, you know, this is obviously so emotional for people and to just be able to, I don't know, move forward without having all those emotions at once. I think it's hard, and so, yeah, I do think counsel helps with that.

Sarah :

Yeah, I love that. So, um, I always like to find out, you know about people's uh story. You know, just kind of like because, excuse me, I think that, uh, you know, especially whenever you're going through this process and you're trying to find, you know, an attorney, I think it always matters to kind of know, like, who you're, you know who you're looking for and who aligns with you. Cause, just like with me, I mean being a realtor, not everybody's going to be my cup of tea and that's okay, Like I'm not everyone's cup of tea, Okay, no big deal, Probably the same with you. So, um, I would love for you to just kind of share like a little bit of your background. Um, you know, like kind of where you're from, what led you to, you know, become a lawyer, what you love most about your job, like just trying to help people get to know you as a person so that you know they can make a really informed decision on, like, hey, I totally align with her, I'd love to work with her.

Ashley:

Yeah for sure. So I am from um, worthington, ohio. I went to Worthington-Kilborn High School, I went to college at University of Kentucky and then I came back to Capital for Law School. I actually always wanted to be a lawyer. I don't at age six I did not understand why I wanted to be a lawyer, but my dad was a lawyer, is a lawyer, and I just really loved the way that it felt like he had the answer to everyone's questions and problems. At that age I just feel like it was just something that I really looked up to. And so I always I took, you know, law classes in high school even that's something I always wanted to do. And then school even that's something I always wanted to do. And then, honestly, I also I would say from college wanted to do family law.

Ashley:

I, before graduating or yes, before graduating from law school, I worked at my same firm and only clerked in kind of the family role law realm. My actually my parents were divorced and then my dad and stepmother got a divorce and so I am very familiar with the divorce process and kind of the I don't know kind of the emotions that can play into it and I just I really wanted to. You know, I feel like you know their attorneys throughout the process could have been better about you know, making them kind of make decisions that were more so in the best interest of the children, and how, you know, talking with them about the divorce and things like that can affect the children and I, I just think that I really, I really like being that person, one to help people through. You know I'm a fixer, a problem solver, I love to fix people and I do think like helping them through. You know I'm a fixer, a problem solver, I love to fix people and I do think like helping them through.

Ashley:

You know, one of the hardest times of their life is like just a huge I don't know accomplishment, I guess for me, like each case that I get to like. You know, I have a client who knows nothing about anything like literally how to read a bank statement and then just to get them, or maybe even doesn't have their license, and then to get them all the way to kind of freedom and how to live on their own. It's just extremely rewarding um for me. But yeah, I just and also um, I guess, to be that person, that um, you know, maybe the party's children can know that you know can encourage the children to be in a better place and to be in a situation that works for them, because I was a person that encouraged the parties to you know act in the best interest of them, I feel like is also another reason, so yeah, yeah, I love that.

Sarah :

I love that and that is why you align so well with Thrive and Decide. Exactly is why you align so well with Thrive and Decide because you know it is that group of women that are all really passionate about helping other women, you know, that are going through this, creating that tribe to be able to know that you know one, you're not alone. There are others that are going through this. There are others that have gone through it and are now on the other side, because a lot of the people involved in Thrive and Decide have either been divorced or have. You know, like you have played a role in a divorce and also do it, you know, for a living. So I love that and that's, you know, one of the main reasons that I was super excited to, you know, just really align with you and you know, be able to help people. To, you know, just really align with you and you know, be able to help people.

Sarah :

I also wanted to be a lawyer when I was little. Yeah, and I think it was because I love to argue. My parents used to joke about that and I even joked with my husband and my daughter that after I got my MBA, I was like, okay, now I'm gonna go back to law school. And they were like like, yeah, and we're going to move out Like there's no way. So. So for me, like this is so great that I get to, then, you know, instead work with you know great attorneys like you and you know, feel like I'm a little bit a part of it, but I didn't actually, you know, have to go to law school.

Ashley:

So, yeah, and I guess if I could speak to working with you, I feel like might be um so obviously you said that we got to work together um kind of recently and I do think that, yeah, I think you are one of the most attentive kind of realtors um that I have worked with. I feel like you are like extremely communicative, always available, you know whether it be 11 o'clock at night, um, always available to your clients, and I think that just goes a long way, especially with this you know mission that you're trying to accomplish. Like I do think you know a lot of people um, you know similar probably in your kind of realm, have you know? They've never sold a house. They have no idea how to get all. They've lived in this house for 20 years. They have no idea how to not only get a divorce but to start over and to move somewhere new, and so I think it's really awesome what you're doing as well.

Sarah :

Thank you, I really appreciate that. Yeah, that's so sweet of you. Yeah, no problem, yeah, well, thank you so much for taking time out of your day. I know you are slammed, so to get on your calendar was amazing, so I really appreciate it. Um, yeah and uh, so I will have all the information and the show notes. So if you want to um figure out, you know how to get ahold of Ashley um and work with her. You know, uh, I really could not um recommend her and her firm anymore, uh, because they are so good, yeah, yeah.

Sarah :

So yeah, Perfect. Well, thank you so much for tuning in and we'll see you next.