Thrive & Decide Guide to Divorce and Beyond

Find Your Inner Wisdom and Ditch the Guilt Trip

• Sarah Thress • Season 1 • Episode 20

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Michelle Murphy joins us to share her transformative approach to mental health that goes far beyond traditional talk therapy. As a holistic wellness mental health therapist, Michelle integrates the connections between mind, body, and spirit to help clients elevate their entire life experience, not just address mental health symptoms.

The conversation reveals a powerful framework that examines three essential components of wellbeing. The physical aspect invites clients to become attuned to how different foods, movement patterns, and environmental factors impact their energy and mood. Rather than prescribing rigid regimens, Michelle positions her clients as the experts of their own bodies, guiding them to discover what genuinely nourishes them. The mind component builds on traditional therapy by acknowledging past trauma work while focusing forward on strengths and possibilities. Most revolutionary is the spirit component—that witnessing consciousness that helps us recognize when we're caught in unhealthy patterns.

Michelle brilliantly deconstructs how many women have internalized harmful beliefs that constant productivity and self-sacrifice are prerequisites for worthiness. "For whatever reason, we've been raised with this idea that if I put pressure and guilt and expectation on myself, I'm somehow going to get more done," she explains. "Does that ever happen? No." By developing awareness of how stress manifests physically—shallow breathing, racing heart, muscle tension—clients learn to pause, question their approach, and make conscious choices aligned with their authentic values rather than external expectations.

Whether you're struggling with burnout, navigating a major life transition, or simply seeking a more integrated approach to wellbeing, Michelle's insights offer a refreshing perspective on healing and personal growth. Don't miss her powerful recommendation for establishing personal rituals that create safety during times of chaos and change—even something as simple as a mindful cup of tea can help regulate your nervous system and provide an anchor amid life's unpredictability. Listen now to discover how holistic wellness counseling might be the missing piece in your journey toward true wellbeing.

To connect with Michelle:

Michelle Murphy, MC, LPC

Holistic Wellness Counseling

614.233.1834

www.holisticwellnesscounselor.com

@hollisticwellnesscounselor 

on instagram 


Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.


Sarah Thress
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Real Estate First Time Home Buyers course: https://sarahthress.graphy.com/

Speaker 1:

Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Thrive and Decide. This week we have Michelle Murphy of Holistic Wellness Counseling. I wanted to make sure I said that correctly. You did so. I am so excited that you were able to take time out of your busy schedule to sit down with me. I met you recently at a Beauty boost event, which was so cool. I love it because it's just a lot of women like empowering women, and you know everyone kind of out for the greater good for other women, and what I found about your, you know, holistic wellness was just that it's a total different approach than what I've heard before. So I'm so glad you could take time out and tell us more about it. You know, how did you, how'd you kind of get to this and and create this?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thank you for having me. I'm excited to share with you about my journey and how I help people. I consider myself a holistic wellness mental health therapist, so it's basically different than just talk therapy. I want to help people improve their day to day, elevate their life experience. We really look at individual functioning and how people can improve their overall not just their mental health, but their physical health as well, which all is tied together. So that's the holistic part of it. It is mind, body and spirit, and so it's really rewarding for me to help people look at all aspects of what they have going on and find out ways that they can improve.

Speaker 1:

I'm just going to help your mental health, yes, which is huge, that's important, it is huge. I know, when I was going through, you know, my divorce over a decade ago, that is the one thing that got me up off of my bathroom floor from sobbing was going to therapy, you know. And then as I've gone, you know, down this path, I've also like really started, you know, leaning into what some would refer to as like the woo world. I like the woo world, right, I know, I love the woo world. And when I look back on myself from, like you know, even five years ago, I'm totally different now because I see things differently and all the things that they talk about, you know, in the world, about just like leaning in and really just kind of stopping and listening to yourself, you know, and like that self-care, all of those things like have really kind of helped me to become a more like healed, well-rounded person.

Speaker 1:

So I love that you also do that, you know, and I just think that we, especially women, are all about like you know, we I just think that we, especially women, are all about like you know, we were raised in the hustle culture. We were all about like I have to, you know I have to do 75 things today or I wasn't productive and that's not true anymore, so I love that you're doing that. Um, so what would be some of the things that you would do from the holistic, you know, mind, body, like spirit, like kind of walk us through, like you know, you can pretend I'm your client if you want to Like, what would you like? You know, ask me to. You know, do or whatever, like what are things that you would give us?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I can absolutely speak to that. My framework is the mind, body, spirit. So in terms of counseling and what I do with you, it's very individualized. I do not have this very specific, pragmatic like we have to do this. It's not scriptured, so I'm going to ask you what your goals are and what's important to you, and then we look at that through the lens of. There are three parts to the human. So the physical body is all the cells of your body, it's all of your systems, your hormones, your digestion, your nervous system, and so we would examine together what's working and what's not working, and then from there, what are some things that you can do to improve your functioning? I like to tell people I might be the professional in the room as a counselor, but you're the expert in your own body and in your own life.

Speaker 2:

So you are the one who's deciding what am I willing to do, what works for me? Sometimes it's just paying attention to what foods we're eating, what foods make us feel good and what foods don't. Sometimes we don't pay attention, we just grab and go If we are busy. We have family to take care of all those things, so just tuning in a little bit more to our own self. There's a lot of research that's out about the gut, brain access and our gut health, and so the more we pay attention to that, the more informed we are. So I'm not going to give you a prescription of what you need to do, but I'm going to ask you hey, have you paid attention to that lately? What makes you feel really good? What would you be willing to change? And so people get really excited because I'm not sitting here telling them what to do.

Speaker 2:

They're like oh, actually, and so kind of we work together and you have your own ideas and you're like well, you know, you kind of come up with your own solution of like, actually, if I eat more protein, I feel better, or if I eat probiotics, I feel better. There are some themes and there's a lot of data out there where we can talk about some ideas if you don't have any for yourself. But sometimes that input in terms of what we're eating, other things in terms of when we get sunlight in our eyes, when we're drinking our caffeine, when we're moving our body and what we're doing I always like to encourage people to find joy in movement. I don't like diet and I don't like exercise, so it's nutrition.

Speaker 2:

What am I giving the cells of my body and how? How am I moving? Because things that are alive move, and so if we want to get a full experience of life, we want to move our bodies, and that might be completely different from you than what is important to me, and so finding that in your own expertise and increasing that movement is something that people get really excited about. So that's the body part of it, and then the mind part of it is the thoughts and the feelings, and that's the traditional mental health the traditional, you know, changing perspective or just going through past experiences.

Speaker 2:

Some people have trauma and getting through that and coping with healthy coping strategies. So there's a strong foundation in that as well. I have had a lot of people come to me recently that they've said I've already done all that work, I've already processed my trauma, I've already focused on everything that's wrong. I really want to focus on what I want to do next. I want to focus on my strengths. I want to focus on what I can do differently to find more joy or get to a better place. And so it's really fun to work with people who have already been to therapy in some capacity and they're like I need more support. But I don't want a traditional therapist, I want somebody who's trained in therapy but can get me to another level, and so that's really fun for me to uh, to to work with people who kind of know the lingo. They've kind of been there, done that. I'm like, okay, what more can we do on top of that? So that's the mind part of it. And then the spirit Some people say soul, some people say consciousness.

Speaker 2:

It's that energetic part of us that witnesses our thoughts and witnesses our feelings and can take inventory of our body, and so I really encourage people to tap into whatever's important to them. It might be for them, a religion or their spirituality, but knowing that kind of inner wisdom in us and witnessing our life and making decisions and making different choices and so people get really excited about that too. Looking at those three parts overall can be a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, when I love that, and again, it's so great that you kind of integrate all of that. But you're also, you know, to your point. You're not like, okay, you need to go out and you know, walk five miles every day and you need to. You know you're not telling people what they need to do or what they have to do, you're just like what feels good to you, what are? What do you want to focus on?

Speaker 1:

You know, cause I think again through this journey, I've learned that, like, if I, if I create you know 75 goals that I'm going to do, you know like, and I I'm like, okay, I'm going to like eat better and I'm going to do a whole 30 and I'm going to drink, you know, a gallon of water and I'm going to work out for 45 minutes a day, like it. I crash and burn every fricking time. So finally, like this year, I'm trying to like habit stack slowly. So I love that. You kind of, you know, do that as well. Where, where you're like, okay, well, let's not go, you know, balls to the wall, like, let's just look at one thing at a time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love the example that you gave and that happens a lot where people are like I want to do this and this and this and I'm like, no, we're not doing all those things. They're like what do you mean? I'm like let's pick one, or let's pick, do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I like to. It's so funny that you say that too, because I used to always set, you know, new year's resolutions and like, oh, this is the year that I'm going to like, do this, this and you know, and then like come February. If I even made it to February like I was like no no.

Speaker 1:

And then I would feel disappointed in myself, and you know, and I wasn't giving myself grace and I was just like, oh, and I beat myself up. And so now I'm like, no, no, like what, to what's something that I maybe want to like focus on, to like change throughout the year, but not necessarily like it has to be right away. And I'm going to, you know, create this, this crazy habit.

Speaker 2:

That happens a lot with people, and especially women, where, for whatever reason, whether it's our culture or a society, we a lot of times have been raised with this idea that if I put pressure and guilt and expectation on myself, I'm somehow going to get more done. Does that ever happen?

Speaker 1:

No, Weird, it doesn't Right.

Speaker 2:

It's this negative energy and we actually feel burdened by it, and it takes more energy for us to get something done. And so switching the script on that instead of putting more pressure on ourselves to say how can I identify within my inner wisdom or my intuition what are the things that really matter to me and that are important to me, and we're naturally going to be motivated to do those things, instead of taking these external expectations and putting them on ourselves as what we think we should be doing or what someone else expects us to do.

Speaker 2:

And so that's another thing that I work with women a lot on is finding that inner voice and listening to it and sometimes pushing back against it, because sometimes it's not our voice, sometimes it's that voice of expectation and so learning to differentiate between the two and to hone in on what is really important to me. What do I value so that I can make those decisions more effectively of, instead of having a to-do list of 20 items? What are the three things?

Speaker 1:

that I'm going to accomplish today. Yeah, I love that and I have noticed that, as I've like kind of cut down on my like to-do list and given myself grace, I actually get more done, like, and if I'm like, you know what I'm actually, I'm going to stop and take a little nap, like because I am so exhausted and even though, like old Sarah, would have been like you don't have time for naps Like what?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and not only you don't have time, but sometimes you don't deserve it. Sometimes we have, we feel like we don't deserve to take a break. Yeah, but we do. Right, we do.

Speaker 1:

We do, and it's like so it's so amazing when you do lean into that and it just like allows you to show up as a better person. So, instead of pushing through and being that drained person, at the end of the day, that cool, you checked off all your to-do list or maybe you didn't, you know. And then you're like, well, I pushed myself, I didn't take a nap, I didn't eat lunch. I like did all these things, still didn't check off all my to-do list. You know like I suck, I'm a failure, you know, and I think that's so common in women. So I love that. You're like kind of helping to break that like stigma and you know like show people hustle. Culture sucks Like stop subscribing to it.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, yeah. So if you are my client and you gave me this example of the hustle and bustle, um, we would talk about that spirit part of you witnessing I'm stressed, I feel anxious. You can notice that within your body. Your body gets tense. You might be breathing more shallowly and more quickly, your heart might be racing. You're like I gotta do this, done, I gotta just done. You're feeling this pressure and you're short with your family. You aren't showing up as the person that you genuinely are and you want to be.

Speaker 2:

And so, using that spirit part of you to notice what's physically happening in my body, what are those thoughts? You're not good enough, you have to do more. Um, you know this, whatever is expected of you. And so, taking a moment to stop, to pump the brakes, to slow down and to witness what's happening in your body and in your mind, and then making a decision is this a way that I want to continue or can I do it differently? It's really hard to stop and to notice that, but once we start practicing it, it becomes more automatic, and I'm sure that you've noticed that, have you?

Speaker 2:

as you've made a lot of changes in the last few years for yourself that the more you do things that are more healthy and more helpful, the easier it becomes to do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is amazing to me, you know, even, you know, just thinking back on even just the last like six months, really leaning more into that. Like you know, I remember, like six months ago, whenever someone was like, well, if you're tired, like take a nap, and I'm like I can't, why not? And I'm like, well, because, like then, like I, you know, I would pick guilt on myself, like well, then I'm not, I'm not doing anything. And then if my family comes home and I'm sleeping, like they're going to be like do you even have a job, do you even do anything? You know, and then I'll feel guilty. And so I had to just be like why am I feeling guilty about this? Like I know that I'm gonna like be such a better version of myself and I'm going to show up in a much more positive cup filled way than if I, you know, just push through that, that nap feeling.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and that goes into the mental health side of things, of what our relationships like, what our expectations of ourself and of other people. And and maybe there's in your situation, maybe it was just a you of your own processing, but sometimes in people's lives there there may be an expectation from a partner to well, what do you mean? You're laying on the couch, okay. Well then, how do we work through some different relationship things and how do we get to a better place, not just within people's in their own self, but in the dynamics within their own life?

Speaker 2:

And sometimes people need to re-examine and sometimes people end up leaving their partner and moving on and starting over again, because they realize, wait, I'm becoming a better person and my partner, who is in this relationship and in this experience with me, isn't at the same place where I am anymore, and so it happens and people move on and people transition, and so it's important to to to be able to take the opportunity to to evaluate what do we want out of our lives and are we willing to make changes? Sometimes people are and sometimes they're not. So if we make a change, how do we move through that in this new space? And if we decide to not make a change, how do we come to terms with our lives? Because sometimes we can't change things, and so sometimes it's just about figuring out how do I manage the circumstances that I have when I don't have control over them?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I think that's such a great point. I love that. So have you always done holistic therapy, like I mean, did you just, you know, wake up one day and go this is what I'm going to do? Or like, has this just always been? You know who you are? Like, just kind of walk us through, like how did you even get to this? Because I think it's so cool yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2:

That's a great question. It started in middle school. Believe it or not, I was one of those weird people that was like I know exactly what I want to do. I knew that I wanted to help people. My friends always came to me and would ask for advice. People called me an old soul, and so I knew that I wanted to help people.

Speaker 2:

Back then it was either psychology or psychiatry or social work, and so I went to school and got my undergrad in psychology and, but I didn't go on at that point in time. I wanted to live a little bit, so I wasn't practicing counseling. It wasn't really as much of a thing or a career 25 years ago and so what I decided to do was to live a little bit. So I got married, we had our son, I got into corporate America. I ended up in human resources, so I felt like I was still working with people. I was still trying to help people in my day to day. That was always my kind of life motto. I wanted to have a positive impact on the world around me, and most of that through relationship. So I was able to do that for a long time, and then I decided, right around when COVID hit.

Speaker 1:

I was kind of like you know we all had that shift in energy.

Speaker 2:

I was like, do I want to do this forever? And I decided no, I want to get back to my roots. And in 20 years psychology world had really changed a lot and counseling had come to the forefront, where it was more of a career, and so I decided to go get my master's in clinical mental health counseling. So that was a better fit for me. It just the world kind of came to it when I was ready for it also. So I was able to get my master's.

Speaker 2:

About five years ago is when I started, and I've been working with clients for about three and a half years. I work with individuals, I work with couples and I love it. I feel like it's I've kind of like arrived to where I was always meant to be. But it was the right journey for me, because I didn't want to be out of school in my 20s with a master's degree and trying to help people who have had life experience. I just I knew that wasn't for me. Some people are very good at that, but for me I wanted to have some life experience first, and switching careers is something that speaks to a lot of people. Having family dynamics speaks to a lot of people, and so now that I'm in that place where I've had some life experience and I've also had the education to support others, it really feels good. I feel like I'm kind of where I'm supposed to be. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love that and I think that's so cool that you kind of took that that journey, and then now you're like I've arrived.

Speaker 2:

I'm here.

Speaker 1:

This is where I was supposed to be Uh, cause I feel like I've, you know, like anytime that I taught you know I have four teenagers and so anytime you know their friends are over and they're like, oh you know, like I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, and like you know, how did you get into real estate? And I'm like, okay, like literally, if you looked at my resume, you would be like are you bipolar, Right?

Speaker 1:

I'm like, cause I've done everything and done everything and like even though I love what I'm doing now and I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, you know, doing real estate, helping people Um, cause, like you, I've always had that drive to like help people, and you know. But now I also get to be more creative and figure out new ways to like help women or help people or whatever. But I know that I wouldn't have all the knowledge that I have now if I hadn't gone through a divorce, if I hadn't had every job under the sun, like you know, like if I hadn't done all of those things, I wouldn't have things to pull from and you know, be able to really empathize and really help people and kind of meet them where they are.

Speaker 1:

Because if I you know to your point, if I hadn't lived any life like what am I going to help you with?

Speaker 2:

What am I going to tell you? Yeah, it's nice to have that wisdom and those resources and that personal experience to be able to understand where people are and where they're coming from and also just empathize I love that you use that word and help people figure out where to go from here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, this was so good. I really appreciate you taking time out and, you know, just kind of walking us through. You know how you got to this place and like where you're at. If someone listening is like holy goodness, I need you in my life because I mean I'm sitting here and I'm like I need to figure out how to like get in with her. Like I'm already like trying to figure this out, but see if someone else like that was listening or whatever, like what would be the best way for them to kind of get connected with you?

Speaker 2:

what's kind of that process when you first get started with someone a good resource for people when they're looking for a therapist is psychology today. Okay, so I'm on psychology today. If you look at Michelle Murphy, columbus, ohio, you'll find me there. I'm also on Instagram and I'm going to use this little cheat sheet because I'm like I don't want to say that.

Speaker 1:

As you should. It's all good.

Speaker 2:

So on Instagram I'm holistic wellness counselor. You can find me there. You can also find me. My email is holisticwellnesscounselorcom. So those are probably the easiest ways either email me directly, follow me on Instagram or go to psychology today and if I'm the right fit for you, I'll be there. And if if somebody is looking for a therapist and I'm not the right fit, then that's a great resource for them anyway.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I like that and I think that's really nice that you, um, you know, you recognize that like you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea, I always try, and you know, like, remember that too, whenever I'm like, well, not everybody's going to work, want to work with me, and that's okay. Like there's plenty of us out there, you know there's plenty of people, and so you should just kind of align with who you feel, um, you know, aligned with and called to work with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

I love that. Well, I'll have all of that information in the show notes. So if someone is listening and they're like I didn't get to write all that down. What did she say? Her Instagram was Um, so that'll all be in the show notes, but yeah, is there anything else that you would really like to share? And just you know? Like anything at all, I'd like not to put you on the spot, but you know anything that maybe we didn't cover that? You're like man. I wish you would have asked me this.

Speaker 2:

The only thing that's coming to mind is knowing your audience of women mostly that are in transition and that are trying to find a new normal, to really tune into themselves.

Speaker 2:

Listen to your heart, listen to your intuition and things happen and usually, like you talked about your life, of changing jobs, getting going through a divorce, those things usually when you come out on the other side you can kind of see how things lined up and and sometimes how you're better afterwards, where, in the midst of the pain, we don't always recognize that it's really hard to see.

Speaker 2:

So I would just encourage people to tune into themselves, figure out what they do really want and be brave and have the courage to move forward through that. The other thing that I always like to tell clients is to create a safe space within your own body, within your own experience, and sometimes that comes through as a ritual. I love to have, like either a morning ritual or an evening ritual, but sometime in your day, in the midst of the chaos, in the midst of the change, to create something that your body knows that something good comes next. So whether that's making yourself breakfast and knowing you're going to have a beautiful meal afterwards if it's, I think you said taking a bath and there's something that you enjoy to do, having a calm space where you can be alone with your thoughts and tune into yourself.

Speaker 2:

So that ritual will look different for every person. But really figuring out a way in the midst of all this change and this chaos, how can I give myself two minutes or three minutes or five minutes to feel safe? Because that does so much for our brain and for our body to just calm down and know that we're going to be okay, because we are our own constant and so, through all that change, we're always with us. So any ritual that we can do and that we can create can help us through that also.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that and that's such a beautiful message because I do think that, again, giving yourself grace and, you know, finding that thing, the one thing that's going to kind of ground you each day. You know it allows you to handle those things that are thrown at you that you know are not positive. It just allows you to be able to handle all of that.

Speaker 2:

And it can be as simple as a cup of tea.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't have to be a big process no stress, no pressure.

Speaker 2:

It can be something small too. Yeah, it can make a big difference.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I think that's so great and I really appreciate you sharing that and you know, just kind of speaking to that, and I'm sure that you know everyone listening, but I'm sure there's someone out there that's just like probably sobbing because that's what they needed to hear and you know that was the, the permission that they needed to just go. Okay, I can be all about me and you know I can take five minutes a day, three minutes a day, to just sit, even if it's just deep breaths, closing your eyes, taking some deep breaths, just regulating that nervous system. I mean, that's something that I've really started to kind of lean into. Is the whole nervous system thing, because I had no idea it affected everything.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it does it does, and the more we can become familiar with ourselves, the more control, the more power, the more grace we can give ourselves, because we're able to move a little bit more effortlessly through life and through challenges, because we know what to expect within our own experience, and so we'll be better able to handle those other stressors.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I love it.

Speaker 1:

Well, thank you again for taking time to you know, just go through this and giving us, you know, all of these amazing tips and um, I just you know. I hope everybody else got you know all of the the feels from you, like I did.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you. I really appreciate the opportunity. I love helping people, so if this speaks to one person, I'm excited about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love it Awesome.

Speaker 2:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, of course. So, like I said, I will have everything in the show notes. So please make sure that you go there. Also, make sure that you are giving a review. Hopefully it's five star, because you know that's what we're striving for. Leave a review, because that is feedback, and that is the greatest gift that you can give me is feedback, and that is the greatest gift that you can give me. Please make sure that you're sharing this also, because that is the greatest compliment that you can give us. Also, make sure you're following along so you never miss another episode. Thanks so much and we'll see you next time on Thrive and Decide.