Smart Money Moves For Divorce And Home Decisions

Money, divorce, and the family home collide in ways that are emotional and expensive—and they don’t have to be. We sit down with certified financial planner and certified divorce financial analyst Amy Kelly to unpack the decisions that matter most, from whether to keep the house to how to split retirement accounts without triggering avoidable taxes. Amy brings decades of experience and a calm, practical lens to a season of life that often feels anything but calm.

You’ll hear how a divorce-savvy plan goes beyond basic budgeting. We dig into document readiness, fee transparency, and why projections are the only honest way to decide if you can afford your current home. We talk marital balance sheets, child and spousal support modeling, QDROs for retirement plans, and the tax traps that can turn a fair-looking settlement into a long-term setback. If you’re in Ohio, we also touch on dower rights and what they mean for title, equity, and sale decisions. The result is a roadmap for aligning your goals—stability for kids, a clean financial slate, on-time retirement—with the numbers that have to support them.

Whether you’re contemplating divorce, actively negotiating, or rebuilding after loss, this conversation gives you tools to move forward with clarity. Gather your key documents, define your priorities, and build a team that includes a family law attorney, a CDFA, and a real estate pro who understand the stakes. Ready to make confident choices about your home and your future? Follow the show, leave a quick review to support the work, and share this episode with someone who needs a little steadiness right now.

Reach out to Amy to get started on your financial plan today! 
Amy Kelly, CFP, CDVA
Amy.kelly@prudential.com
614-383-3778 (office)
614-619-3160 (cell)

Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.

Sarah Thress
614-893-5885
Sarahthressrealtor@gmail.com
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Welcome to Thrive and Decide. I'm your host, Sarah Tress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, contemplating divorce, or have lost a spouse, feel seen, heard, understood, and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not to do while going through a divorce. This week, I am sharing a podcast episode from my other podcast called Come to Find Out. That podcast is all about real estate. And this episode was about divorce and real estate. So I wanted to share it with you. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode.

Meet The CDFA And CFP Guest

What Comprehensive Financial Planning Covers

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Hi, and welcome to this week's episode of Come to Find Out. Um, this week we are talking with Amy Kelly, who is a local certified financial planner and a certified divorce financial analyst. So she obviously uh is able to kind of help with um anything financial planning. But, you know, as I shared at the beginning of this year, you know, I'm really trying to focus on um how to help uh, you know, divorced couples, uh, especially, you know, women, kind of going through with the divorce process and helping them to come out um financially stable on the other side. So um I was referred to Amy by several people actually. So it was clear that we were meant to meet. So um thank you so much for taking time to meet with me. Yeah, absolutely. I'm super excited to be here. Yeah. Well, thank you. Um so certified financial planner. So how long have you been doing that and kind of what does that, what does that entail? Yes.

Coordinating With Estate Attorneys

SPEAKER_00 3:13

So I've been a financial planner slash financial advisor for gosh, it's been almost 25 years now. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I've had the CFP designation for about 20 years. So, really all things financial planning. I help my clients plan for retirement, um, look at their investment strategy, do income tax planning, protection strategies, you know, make sure folks have enough life insurance or disability. Um, we think about long-term care and how to pay for that for older folks. And then, of course, estate planning. You know, do you have all your beneficiary designations correct? And I know you spoke with an estate planning attorney earlier this year. Um, so we kind of we coordinate all the estate planning um strategies that the attorneys put into place.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Yeah, that's um interesting because that is one of the people that referred me to was the estate um attorney. So do you work um closely with the state attorneys kind of in what you're doing, like with your full financial plan?

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Yeah, absolutely. We will, you know, I'll refer folks to estate planning attorneys if they don't have their own attorney. Or, you know, once they go to the attorney and the attorney, you know, does the will and power of attorney documents and if there's a trust that's needed. Um, the attorneys really draft those documents. And then it's typically up to the individual to make sure the beneficiary designations are correct and title of assets. Um, you know, most of the time the attorneys that I work with do a really good job of helping their clients coordinate, but some attorneys just, you know, hand them the book of documents and then they're off and running, and that's like a small portion of their estate plan. So folks really need to make sure it's implemented. And that's where we come in.

First Meeting: Goals, Fees, Next Steps

SPEAKER_02 4:59

Yeah, I love that. So walk me through kind of the process. Like if someone was to come to you, um, you know, I know when people come to me, I sit down and I do a buyer's consultation or a listing consultation, you know, depending on whether they're trying to buy or sell. Um, so when people come to you, what do you, you know, what does it typically look like? I mean, obviously every client is different, but what's a typical, you know, a session with you look like?

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Yeah, that's a great question. So we sit down, you know, we'll sit down with anyone, you know, free of course and no obligation, and really talk to folks. I start off, you know, what are your goals? What are your concerns? Why are you here? Um, what do you think about your finances? Again, short-term goals, long-term goals, and then we talk about if we can help. Some folks, you know, want to do a, you know, a tri a financial plan that entails, like I said, like going through projections, cash flow projections, and income tax projections and getting into the estate planning. And other folks just, you know, want help managing their investments with a little bit of financial planning on the side. So we really, you know, have that first meeting and figure out what direction we're gonna go with the folks.

Who They Serve And Team Structure

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Um, so do you think that you typically like help more women or men, really? Gosh, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

You know, it's typically couples. Okay. And women and men.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Did you like that answer? I love that. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

So everyone. Everyone, yeah. There's no, I can't, I I mean, I can't say that I've helped more women than men.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Yeah. Well, that's good. Yeah. No, I think that's good for people to know because, you know, I think sometimes, uh, you know, especially men, you know, will hear a woman and they're like, oh, she must only work with women. And it's like, no, no, like I I, you know, we're not man haters here.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Right, right. No, I mean, there's been, you know, lots of women executives or, you know, they're the bread earners, and a lot of times they come with a man. Yeah. So we want to make sure we work with them well as well. Yeah. Um, but yeah, my practice actually, I have a male business partner. Okay. So he and I work together when we get into the divorce stuff. Um, he doesn't typically work on that. Um, but you know, I think it's good. I don't have an all-women practice or anything like that. I think, you know, men are important also. Yeah.

What A CDFA Actually Does

SPEAKER_02 7:16

No, I totally agree. I agree. And I, you know, I stated that also when I shared with, you know, my audience, like, I'm not a man hater. Like, I just know that, you know, unfortunately, a lot of times, you know, in a divorce situation, women are the ones that, you know, either have been stay-at-home moms, um, you know, or haven't been in the workforce for a while and just need to like kind of know how to become financially stable. Absolutely. Obviously, there are stay-at-home dads out there and and you know, they're dealing with the same issues. Yeah. So yeah. Well, I love that. So then becoming a certified divorced financial analyst, um, tell me about that. Like, that sounds like very like, you know, just I don't know. Like it just seems like you had to go through like all of these hoops to like get that. Like, how does that work and what does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Yeah, absolutely. So it's definitely its own designation. Um, there's CDFAs all over the country, and it's definitely a specific skill set, you know, that's completely different than traditional financial planning that a CFP would do. So the CDFA, you know, we of course do cash flow projections for folks, but it's really, you know, we're looking at child support and spousal support and putting together the marital balance sheet and dividing assets and looking at retirement plans, different types of retirement plans need to be divided differently and the tax consequences of that. So it's very, it's a specific niche that folks, I think if financial advisors want to do that work, they should have that designation. And, you know, I found, at least here in Columbus, the divorce attorneys, the family law attorneys, they like to work with, you know, folks that have done the work, the CDFAs, that know the business, that, you know, aren't gonna come in and necessarily quote unquote blow up a case, you know, because you know, you get a financial advisor who comes in and if they're not familiar with how the process works and you know, why an attorney may be doing something, you know, they can I've seen it where it's clients have been derailed and the process, you know, takes longer and is more expensive if you know somebody comes in and you know gets their fingers in the case.

Building A Divorce-Savvy Professional Network

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Yeah. No, absolutely. And I think that's so important too, um, which is why I've been, you know, working to kind of create like a, you know, a really good network of people that can work together that are certified in, you know, divorce, because it really does take, you know, a certain skill set. Like you have to be very patient. Yes. And you have to like basically be a therapist at the same time while doing your job. So absolutely, 100%. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. So if someone listening to this um was either contemplating divorce or was going through a divorce, what would be like your top maybe three things, um, like top three pieces of advice you would give them um to really like think about and to, you know, really just hone in on, right?

Three Top Tips Before And During Divorce

SPEAKER_00 10:11

So my biggest piece of advice, and this is really for anyone, yeah, that in a marriage or living with someone, I think both parties need to have some idea of the finances, right? You need to know where to find your tax returns. You know, need to know what the budget is. You need to know, you know, what retirement plans are out there and sources of income. Because I think the biggest mistake or challenge that I see when somebody is thinking about going through a divorce or they start the process is, you know, and maybe it's the stay-at-home spouse, or once, you know, spouses divide responsibilities. 100%. You take care of the kids, I'll take care of the finances. Or you take care of the house, I'll take care of the finances, whatever it may be. Um if someone starts the process of terminating their marriage and they don't know what's out there, they well, I don't know what my spouse's retirement plan is. Oh, I haven't seen an income tax return in five years. Like that's a problem because we need that information for both parties. So I think for anyone, yeah, anyone out there that's listening, just make sure, you know, have at least an annual meeting with your partner, right? Yeah. And look at all those things. Look at your tax returns when they're filed, look at the balances in all of your retirement plans and investment accounts, and just know what's out there because you know, a lot of times one spouse doesn't see it coming, right? Yeah. And all of a sudden another spouse is telling them that they're moving out, and all that documentation goes with them. Yeah. And then that makes our job and it makes the process so much more expensive. Yes. And you got to pay people to help you track down all the information.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

So I think that's the biggest tip.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Yeah, no, I think that's so good. Um, and I think it's such good advice too, because I, you know, I I think anyone should know, you know, about the bills, like you said, because, you know, what what if uh God forbid something happens to your spouse, right? You know, and you can't even ask them, you know, where like where is our money? Well, you know, how do you pay the bills? Things like that. So I just think it should be an open communication. I also think that it might avoid a few divorces if people were that honest, you know, with people. Um, my husband and I actually just started doing a uh a marriage retreat um this year. And so we've decided we're gonna do it every year. And it's just to make sure we're staying on the same page with finances, with goals, with um, you know, just kind of how we we see everything going. Um it's just kind of a check-in, you know. And I think that was something I learned, you know, from going through a divorce. And then, you know, like, okay, how can we stay on the same page? Right.

Annual Money Check-Ins And Retreats

SPEAKER_00 12:51

So yeah, absolutely. Or I've seen folks do like quarterly meetings or monthly check-ins on budgets, just to make sure, you know, you stay on track for, you know, if you're in a hobby partnership or marriage, stay on track for your retirement goals and planning for vacations and things like that.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Yeah, no, I totally get it. Um, what do you think would be like your next piece of advice or like the first step that someone should do um, you know, when looking for a financial planner, whether they're going through a divorce or not? Like what, you know, what are some key things that they should be asking or looking for in a financial planner?

Choosing A Financial Advisor And Fees

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Right. A financial advisor in general, um, I would say, how does that person work with their clients? And, you know, the big E is always how do we get paid? Yeah. So we're super transparent when folks come in for that in the first meeting. This is how we, this is our fees, this is how we get paid. Um, I think that's the most important thing. So whether it's your estate planning attorney or, you know, a CDFA or real estate agent or your financial advisor, you know, how do we get paid? Like that's the most important thing is to be transparent and know. So, you know, one, have all your documents. Yes. Know what you have, and then know what you're gonna pay somebody um to help you through the process. Um, of course, a financial advisor would say that, right? Know your numbers. And then um, you know, a third tip is you know, start thinking about your goals. If you find yourself in a situation where you're the one that's terminating the marriage, or you find out that, you know, it's gonna happen, you know, unfortunately, with or without, you know, your consent, um, or you know, somebody's gonna start the process, you know, what are your goals? And and really think about, you know, what do you want? You know, some folks say, and I hear, you know, the moms, uh myself included, I've been divorced, and you know, we want to keep the home for the kids, right? Yeah. Disrupt the kids as as lit as least as possible. Um, so I see a lot of folks say, you know, my number one goal is just keep the house until the kids graduate from high school. Maybe that's your goal. Or your goal is I want to stay on track for retirement at 55 or 65 or whatever it may be. Just start thinking about those goals.

Define Goals: Keep House Or Retire On Time

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah. Well, and with um, I'm sure that you talk with them, but with Ohio still being a dour state, you know, um, do you have those conversations with them, like just letting them know that they have dower rights? So with um, like with the house, uh, you know, even if one person in the marriage is on the mortgage, both people own that piece of property. So at the end of the marriage, it would have to be, you know, split in half. So um, that's probably the the easiest way to explain dower rights. So I just wanted to make sure everyone, you know, that's listening like understood like kind of what that means because there's not that many states left that have dower rights. And, you know, Ohio obviously is is one of them. But um, so if you were looking at their financial picture and you saw that it didn't make financial sense for them to, you know, even though their goal is to keep that house, how would you kind of navigate that to let them know that, like, hey, this isn't in your best interest? Or would you just say that?

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Right. Well, and that's where the financial planning piece comes in. I think, you know, number one, everybody needs to look at a financial plan, you know, every five to ten years and look at projections and figure out how you're gonna get to retirement. Um, it usually happens once folks are, and I'm saying folks with kids are in their later 40s or, you know, kids are, you know, finishing high school because there's so much expenses with kids, it's so hard to like, you know, envision in yourself. But make sure you have a retirement plan. And then as life changes happen, you know, if you're widowed or you're divorced, yeah, you know, let's sit down and do those projections because I can't tell somebody without doing a projection if they can afford to keep the house or not.

Ohio Dower Rights And The Marital Home

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Yeah. Um yeah. No, that makes so much sense. And I love that that's like something that you would take into consideration. Like if someone came in and they that was their goal, you'd be like, okay, well, you know, according to like all of your projections and your goals, this doesn't align. So it probably makes more sense for you to sell the house and split the profit 50-50 since it's you know a dollar stake.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And and again, so going back to the CDFA and the marital balance sheet, I mean the attorneys want the marital balance sheet. We want to look at it because if someone wants to keep the house, what is the other person going to receive in the divorce in lieu of the house? And how are they gonna pay that person out? And can they afford to do that and all those good things? Because then there's taxes involved, yeah, right? You want to make sure the taxes are equalized and and you don't want to go into a, you know, agree to a divorce in front of a judge if if you haven't explored all of that and understand?

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Yeah, no, I totally agree. I love that. That's such great advice. Um, well, thank you so much for taking time to like meet with me. Um, you know, as we wrap up, is there anything else that you kind of wish that people out there would know or like anything that we maybe didn't cover um in this that you're just really like, I really want people to know this.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Yeah, you know, I gosh, I think having a good handle on your documents and and having a plan in place financially for yourself, no matter who you are. Yeah. Um, you know, everyone should should be thinking about that.

Projections Decide If You Can Keep The House

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Yeah, I agree. I agree. Thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule. I know you're super busy. Um, and as you can hear, maybe there's so much construction going on. So there's a lot of stuff going on here in your building. Yeah, well, it's exciting here in Columbus, Ohio. I love it. I love it. Well, thank you so much. Um, oh, you know what? I did think of one additional question, actually. Yeah. Are you able to help anyone in other states or is it only here in Ohio?

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Anyone in any state.

Marital Balance Sheet, Buyouts, And Taxes

SPEAKER_02 19:08

Oh, perfect. Yep. Okay. Yeah, that's great. So anyone listening uh that's not here in Ohio could still reach out. Okay. Absolutely. I love it. Yeah, I love it. All right. Well, I'm glad I thought of that before we wrapped up. Yes. So thank you again for taking time. I appreciate it. And thank you everyone for tuning in. Um, so definitely make sure that you uh review uh because as I always say, feedback is the greatest gift you can give. So make sure that you um hopefully give it a five star review and follow the show so that you never miss another episode. Thanks and see you next time on Come to Find Out.