Bride Reveals Wedding Regrets, Budget Mistakes & Best Advice | Wedding Podcast

In this episode of Totally Absolutely Engaged, we’re switching things up and hearing directly from a REAL bride! 💍

Bex joins us to spill everything about her wedding journey — from the engagement and venue search to budget shocks, family drama, wedding regrets, photographer mistakes, and the emotional reality of the big day.

As both a bride AND wedding coordinator, Bex shares honest advice every engaged couple needs to hear before planning their wedding.

We chat about:
✨ Wedding planning mistakes brides regret
✨ Budgeting realities no one warns you about
✨ Family opinions & guest list drama
✨ Why choosing the RIGHT photographer matters
✨ Wedding day nerves & emotional moments
✨ Kids at weddings — yes or no?
✨ Wedding trends worth the hype
✨ The biggest waste of money during planning
✨ Why the day goes SO fast
✨ Post-wedding blues & married life

If you're engaged, planning a wedding, or obsessed with wedding content, this episode is packed with real, funny, unfiltered advice from someone who's actually lived it.

🎧 Listen now and subscribe for weekly wedding chats, supplier stories, planning tips, and behind-the-scenes wedding industry insights.

#WeddingPodcast #BrideAdvice #WeddingPlanning #WeddingTips #RealBride #WeddingRegrets #Engaged #BrideToBe #WeddingBudget #WeddingDay

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Totally Absolutely Engaged.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hello, and today we're not speaking to a supplier, we're actually getting the real bride perspective. So, what she'd do again, what she wouldn't, what what are the things that no one warns you about? So, we are going to welcome Bex, who some of you will recognise as a wedding coordinator from the plough, a popular wedding venue. But today you're our bride.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

I am. Okay, so I nearly put my wifey T on, but then I took it off slightly more professional.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Right, so let's take it to the start, really. The engagement era. So how how are you you proposed to?

SPEAKER_01 0:47

I was uh we went to, which I didn't realise how expensive it was until he said the other day I was like, oh my god. We went to this amazing hotel in Edinburgh called the House of Gods. It was dead cool. Um but the thing is, I knew about the whole engagement, I knew it was coming that weekend. I said to them to the girls, I was like, this time next week, girls, I'll have a ring on my finger. Oh my god, have your nails done. I did, you were all crap, and I can't believe this, it was the same colour as the stone that was in my ring. That wasn't planned. I did not know so.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

How did you know? Did he did you basically tell him that he has to get engaged?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Well, no, but kind of. Yeah, no, no, no, basically, yeah. Well, he it was in COVID, the COVID era. Right. And he said, just try to try this ring sizer on. And I was like, Well, that's a massive giveaway of anything. And then we're going away in May. Yeah. And then he was like, You've got to be in between this time and this time to accept a parcel. So this lovely little parcel came. I was like, Oh, that's quite Ernest Jones. It's not obvious, is it? And then, and then all the while we were away, he was dead nervous. He was really nervous. I wish he'd have done it on the first night. Yeah, yeah, because he was like just like quiet and jittery and weird. I was like, obviously, it's gonna happen at some point.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Get everyone done with it. Yeah, I could have just enjoyed the bottom of that.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yeah, and then we went to I didn't put a castle and he said, I've booked this thing, I've booked this thing, and it was the guns going off or something. So I was expecting once these guns had gone off to turn round and he'd be on his knee. I was like, Oh, okay, no, I'm not not just in around camera set up. But no, he did it um in a little bit where we were on our own, but then just after we'd done it, everybody was there, so he was dead embarrassed about it. But I heard the ring book box close behind me. It was ace, it was it was like so predictable, but so ace as well. It was so cute. Did you cry? No. Oh no, I have no emotion. I was just you don't look a crier. No, I'm not a crier at all.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

So you got the ring on your finger. I had. So what's next? What's next in the uh then venue?

SPEAKER_01 3:09

So we went looking around venues straight away, literally, back off holiday. Yeah, I was like, right, horny, here we go. This, this, this, this one. This literally did you have some in mind?

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Did you think? Um Do you have a set wedding that you wanted, like a rustic wedding or kind of, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

I think I I I love like um big, beautiful open spaces, things like that. Um and we saw, and I was I was really bothered about the outside in the initial instance. So we went to Foxdale Barnes. Went well, we went to uh two or three others, and then when we got to Vauxdale Barnes and it was really nice, um I said, Do you like this one? He was like, if we don't go to another one, I'll be really happy. So I was like, is that the right answer? Looking back now, no. And I wish we'd have like, I wish I'd have been like, um, which do you do you really like this? Or and do you know what we should have done? Looked at the cost of it, and we were just like, no, let's book it. Was it really expensive? Stupid expensive. Oh, stupid. If you'd known the price, would you have booked it? No. Okay, well, can't well, we did book it, but we were a bit stupid back then. Yeah, we did know the price, we were just a bit stupid because like then we didn't factor in everything else that we'd be paying for. Yeah. Like that is all of the food. So you took it as one price. That's it. Yeah. It was so naive. And then we so we were due to get married, and then we fell pregnant, and then we pushed it on a year, and then I started what no, between that I started working at the plough and the I started working at the weddings, and I was like, oh my god, you can have such a beautiful, fantastic day.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Literally half the price. Like the the venue hire, and it's a beautiful venue. And in my heart of hearts, I'll always love that venue. But it was £8,000 just for the hire, so just to be there on that day. That was no food, no drinks, nothing like that. And to spend £8,000 on a wedding at the plough, you've got to have a packed out room, you've got to be top-notch, like a bronze gold food under brochure package kind of thing. But you get such a fantastic, quality, beautiful day, but at so little cost. Like it was just it was.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

And that's what appealed to you basically. So you made the switch.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Yes, yes. I went from Cocksdale to plough. And how could I get married anywhere else? Like, you've gotta you've gotta love the well as part of like the advice that'll come later as well. Like, you've got to lean into your suppliers and things like that, and and your uh coordinators, and you've gotta get on with them. And they they're just so it's all so easy to get on with, yeah. Everything just flows really beautifully, and it's just so intimate, gorgeous, and rustic, and it was just a no-brainer.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Did you find the planning process pretty chilled then, or were you quite stressed out still?

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Um I found like the works, like the stuff that I'm used to planning at work, super easy. Yeah, it was like super chill about that. Yeah, yeah. You had a bit of an advantage there, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was like, okay, so this time, this time, this time times were smashed, like sorted. Um, it was more like the when everybody else gets involved. That's where the kind of difficulties came. By everybody else who were we referring to. Um a few family members and did you find that opinions did impact your planning? Yeah, yeah, I think so. Yeah. And like if I could go back now and what I'd say to every bride and what I do say to brides and grooms, um trust your instinct. Stick with your gut. Stick with it. Like if you've got a plan, stick to it. If you want certain people there, you don't want certain people there, stick to it. Don't kind of be pushed into a direction that you don't want to go in.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

Yeah, I completely agree.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

So is it affecting you sort of emotionally or was it literally budget-wise? Um like were you being pushed down avenues and you think, oh, that's another 500 quid. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's annoying.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah. It's not even their wedding, not their money. No, no. And you're like, oh, why isn't this person coming? Why are you inviting that person? Like, um, because we don't speak to them. We don't have anything to do with them. Like that's a you thing, not a me thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Yeah, so you end up paying for guests. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

You don't even want that. Yeah, yeah, you do. If you're not careful, you can do that, whereas you've got to like nip it in the budge quite early on.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

And then and no, and drop the guilt. Drop that guilt and just move on. And you're like, this is what we want. So stick to it. And it's it's a wedding day, it's the best day of your life. But it's also it's gonna pass as well. And you're gonna look back on it and like the little bits of drama and the annoying the the people that you somebody wants there that you don't want there, kind of thing, that's gonna pass as well. So like just yeah, just trying to do that.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

And the process and the punishment.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Oh god, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like we were saying, my I had a huge advantage over like the planning of um how the timing's slot in and I knew how everything would work and what have you, whereas other brides won't have an idea of that. No. And all the or the grooms as well, sorry. Um so that was a major advantage. And having access to all of our recommended suppliers, like being able to because I see day in, day out how things work, and you just know it works like clockwork. So you haven't got to worry about anything, how anything's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

Yeah, everything's gonna be there. That applies to a lot of venues, uh, I guess. Yeah, it's not a lot of people. They all have their own recommended suppliers, and I get why people have them because it's easy working as well.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah, and they're likely them local as well, because the last thing you want is to you want DJ Fred from wherever you live, and you're traveling an hour and a half to the venue, and then they get stuck in traffic, or a major accident happens, and then they're not there in time. We had a wedding a couple of months ago, the DJ was an hour and a half late. I'm like, that's your evening. That's your geez, the DJ. One day, one day those few hours of party time, and that's backed up because it's somebody's travelling and completely out of their control, or his wheel came off, or something ridiculous, like which is just out of your control, and you don't think it's gonna happen. But if you lean into your suppliers, they're local, they're just like clockwork.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

You're not gonna have that. No, very true. Is there anything that you underestimated? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

How quickly the day would go. Oh, really? Yeah. Major. Like even I work weddings all the time. All the time. I love working weddings. And you guys do. The the f how fast that day flies when it's yours is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

It does go as quick as people say it does, doesn't it? Yeah. Everyone tells you, oh, it'll go so quick.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, just like live in the moment, be in the moment as much as you can.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

But yeah, if you speak to 60, 70 people in the day, it's gonna go quick, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 9:49

You've literally like gotta give yourself like two minutes for them.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Yeah, you're able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Wow, I do have issues with stopping talking, as you know.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

What time was your ceremony then? Was it? It was half past twelve. Okay, so it wasn't so it was a church ceremony.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

So I think if I went back and did things differently, I think doing everything in one place is so ace. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I love the church and the pictures are beautiful from it. But um half past twelve, it's quite early. Like a perfect time to get married is like two o'clock. That's what we say. Yeah, literally two pm. You've got all that time in the morning. Um, even though you still start at like 6 a.m. whatever. But you've got a little bit more t polite playtime within there, um, and then everything runs into the next thing. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Yeah. So why did you go for a church wedding?

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Is it religious purposes or we're not particularly uh Ryan isn't religious at all.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

At all.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

But I think just the um part of it was because we'd planned twice. We were plowing twice, so that was like the original plan, and it was it's a beautiful church. And people who we wouldn't be able to fit into the plow were able to come to watch the service and then go on and do then the rest of their day.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

So, did you stay within budget then? Did you have a budget in mind at the start of planning?

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Initially, no, because we were like £8,000 on one day. Yeah, that's a learning. Yeah, then we've got to pay seven grand to feed and water, everybody. Like, no, oh my god. If that is in your budget, great. That is not it.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

So you learned pretty quickly that your budget was having to change.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

And did that upset you or did it?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Um at first, I found it really hard.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yeah. And does it create arguments between you and the the husband for me?

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Or family. I think it was more so the pressure that we would have put ourselves under to be able to achieve that cost would have just like been ridiculous for us, just as like a bog standard family of three living in Stoke. Yeah. Um, whereas other people have got more expendable cash, but we definitely haven't the thought of spending £7,000 on feeding people while altering them and an eight grand, like what have you? Yeah, it's mental. Um by um budget is massively important, but be prepared to ignore it at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Budget kind of goes over. Yeah, yeah. You will you will go over.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

You will say don't they use it as a guideline? Yeah, not exactly. Literally, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Um I think a lot of people though, when they think of the budget, they think, right, I can this is gonna be what I pay of the venue, the feeding, blah blah blah. And then they forget about everything else.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Everything else. Everything else that then adds up to Yeah, and then you start going on Instagram, and there's like this amazing singer, and then you add an extra, go and get a 360 camera, and you want that instead of the photo booth, you're gonna buy that. Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah, it's cheaper at the moment, and there's an offer on the phone. Oh, they go, there you go. Did you get many ideas then from like Pinterest and Instagram? Does it swamp you and then it does it makes you ever spend again, or do you get depressed that you can't have everything?

SPEAKER_01 13:13

I think social media adds such a pressure to you, but especially that industry. Yeah, 100%. Because you as soon as you as soon as you that ring goes on your finger, your whole algorithm will change. Everything is being shot at you like this venue, that venue, these extras, this one, and this dress, which is ridiculous expensive and beautiful, fancy makeup that's gonna cost you 100 quid and what have you. But it's either bare boon, you've got to kind of come bring yourself back and like just bring it in and be like, is that me? Like, even going simple thing of go and have your nails done. Like, if you don't have your nails on, don't go and have your nails done. Yeah, like I went and had my nails done. I didn't even know what I wanted, turned up to the appointment. I was like, uh just something bridal. Yeah, anything really. Um, and then I I don't have got my nails done now. I'm just gonna say I don't really like having my nails done. Because as soon as one little bit goes, that's it. I'm picking them off anyway. So I can't for a couple of weeks. That's like the exact same. So, like, if you don't want it, if if you don't have those things done, don't have them done. If you do your own makeup really nice, do your own makeup really nice on your wedding day. Like, if you do your hair really nice, do your own hair.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

Is there anything that you had to compromise on between you and your partner? Like, if he wanted something and you were like, okay, well, I'll sacrifice this or anything like that. How did you decide? Um, the other way around.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Yeah. Your sagos. Yeah. Yes, yes. So I love um live music at a wedding. It just brings a beautiful atmosphere. Yeah. Like you don't even realise it's just going on in the background and you might be having a little dance and what have you. And it picks the vibe up and keeps it going through the rest of the day. So I was this, and with working at the plow, which I'm very lucky to, um the singers coming in all the time, and they're so good.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

So you're the pick of the best, basically. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

But then I didn't go with any of them anyway. What a snake! So I inquired with some of them, and then my old friend from a previous live, um, she does wedding singing. Oh my god, she is fantastic. Like beyond. Do you want to plug her?

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Yeah, give her a shout out.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Tasha Bennett. Tasha Bennett, she's amazing. Like Olivia Dean, kind of like sexy, soulful. Yeah, really good.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

So was she there through the day or just evening?

SPEAKER_01 15:39

She did the only because uh she had to go to Cornwall the next day, so she like squeezed me in. So we had the ceremony and the wedding breakfast. No, ceremony and uh drinks reception. Got you, and it just brought really good time. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, drinks reception. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, really good. And she just she's just like it it brings a something really beautiful quality to your wedding that you don't realise until and especially until the day. And he was telling me, I was like, listen to her, she's amazing. Like I was listening to her every night on Instagram, I was obsessed. Um, and he was like, She sounds like a karaoke singer. I was like, rude, what like she's amazing? Like biting her corner until the cows came home. And um and I told him the cost, he was like, Are you serious?

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Yeah, yeah. Maybe we'll listen to her before we plug.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Oh and it's like she's amazing. Imagine she's like somebody down crazy mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic carry of but and even my mum said that. I was like, guys, I don't know what your ears are like, I don't know what's landing in your ears because it's completely different to mine.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Like, I got it, it's two one.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

How would she on the day? Amazing. Did they like her? They did. Okay. They were like, I'm really sorry, she was absolutely amazing. Like, well, I knew that. Took you a while to get on board, like, but so that was my.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

So is there anything that you didn't book that you wish you had?

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Uh videographer.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Yeah, did you know?

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Yes. No. You said this.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Yeah, I've always said that. That was my biggest regret, actually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Um the recording of your day is your lasting memories, and they are so so valuable.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Did you have a content creator or anything? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So at least they've caught some parts of the day.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. The only that was like we maxed out the limit of even pushing the budget then. And I was and I just couldn't afford at the time.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

No.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

And I wish, like, I don't, I don't know, I wish we could have had her, but and it would have had Vision Wave because she's fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Oh yeah. We've had her. We've had her on. I love her. Yeah, she's ace.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

She's so boring. She's so boring. And I would have had her, like, hands down, yeah. But it was just something that we couldn't afford.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

And then what do you think you missed from a videographer that missed from a content creator that you thought you would have got from a videographer?

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Um the thing with content creation is there's there's so many little videos, yes, and you have all of this content, and then you've got to do something with it. Whereas I am just the most disorganised person, like outside of work, that's um I don't I just don't have that time. Or I don't use my time wise enough to sit and pull it all together and look at them. Um, and like we're six months on and I haven't really looked at them, but I know there is gonna be a time when I'm like, well, it might be when my son goes to school, maybe, but there will be a time when I can sit down and do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

I mean, on a lesser level when we do like photo shoots and the photographer sends us loads of clips, and yeah, I can't be asked. Literally cannot be asked, and we gain nothing from it at all because we've just got files and files of photoshoots, yeah, yeah, it's so busy, so so busy.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

That's the only thing, and I can't wait to go through them all, but time is just so like not on my side at the moment. Like because I have a new family. I think, yeah, I I'd love throwing myself into my son, yeah. And and when um hubby's about because he works a lot, um that's my priority. So sitting on my phone and like trying to put the videos together, yeah, just isn't my priority. She'd have rather just had the movie style. Yeah, I would have still had still had the content creation, but I would have had the movie style as well. I get that, that makes sense. They are what's gonna last forever, and as time goes by, as morbid as it sounds, you are gonna lose those people, yeah. And then you've got these beautiful moving images and still images of these amazing people in your life that um you'll treasure forever and ever and ever. And when people say, which is the biggest, massivest, awfulest ick that I have got with any wedding couple that comes to me and say, I want to have enough photographer. Or Uncle Bob's gonna bring his camera. That's crazy. Oh God.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Okay, man, people that bring your family members back. That is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Yeah, yeah. And obviously you can't say that to them, but you word it in a different way. Like, just please trust me on this. You need to invest in your don't be an idiot.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Sorry, it's such a big saving, isn't it? Yeah, because I mean I don't know what photography is these days, but I mean, for a good thousand up, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're looking at the best part of a grand for a um for a decent package. Because you want them there all day as well. I just think that's one of the things I would spend the money on. Yeah, you've got to. Venue and your photographer. I think so. 100%. Food. Yeah. Yeah, of course you say that. Make sure you choose somewhere. Make sure you choose somewhere. Yeah, 100%. Because that that is a thing as well, like plugging the plow, but naturally I am going to. Um, and being unbiased with it as well, the food is fantastic. Like, as you guys know, like when you've managed to clock off for 40 minutes and have something to sit down and eat something not on the move. Yeah, I've been there many times to be fair. Yeah, it's it's so good. And your guests are gonna like rave about that after.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

And you want you want your guests to have a full belly because they're gonna be sinking a lot of alcohol, likely, and busting some moves on the dance floor later on. But you want to kind of keep it and they definitely did at your wedding.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

I remember collecting stuff and you were all trolley.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

Yes, there was a leave had a good time. Yeah, shall we head on to the next section?

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Joe on them.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

So we're moving on to the actual wedding day. Yes, exciting. What do you remember most from the morning?

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Oh, um, it went by so quick.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Like it's like 6am. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Yeah, yeah, 6am. And then you'd literally, I remember coming down the stairs. No, I remember turning round, and then the guy who was gonna be driving the car was there. I was like, oh my god! Oh god, it's just me and dad left in the house, and Carl who's gonna drive is there. I was like, Jesus. So I went to the kitchen, sunk a couple of flutes of no, not flutes, coopes of champers. Oh love that must have like because I realised I hadn't like had anything to drink right. Um and then yeah, we run away, but it just goes so quickly.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Was it a nice moment between you and your dad?

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Did you have any words of wisdom? Like no. No. Not my dad. Literally.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

It's hard. It's like don't do it. Yeah, it literally is. You know, it's so funny. All through me and Ryan have been together for like 16 years. I always say we've been together since the beginning of time. And my dad, all the way through the planning was like, Are you sure? Are you sure you want to do this? We've got we'd we'd got a one and a half year old, no, two year old at that point. Are you sure? I need to ask him as well, because he's really good, like he's got a fantastic relationship with Ryan. Oh, that's awful. Are you sure? Are you sure I want to do this? All the women. Yeah, but it was, it was really nice. It was beautiful. In the morning, it's just it's so it can be so chaotic, but as advice, um you've got to. I I actually I would speak to your coordinators about planning your morning, your time in your morning as well. Like lean into that support from your venue because it just time wizards. Like outside of work, I'm horrendous with time. Inside of work, like it just all makes sense because you need the you need buffers within your day, within your morning.

SPEAKER_00 23:26

You're only 40 minutes late for this, it's fine. I was two minutes. I was two minutes late.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

You were very on time, actually. Because um I had to finish putting my makeup on in the car. Because that's where I usually put my makeup on, driving down the A34. That's unsafe. Yeah, I like to live on the edge, guys. How were the nerves on the morning?

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Um I was just dead excited. Were you dead excited, yeah. Oh, that's good then. Yeah. What about walking down the aisle? That's what I always think. I feel like I'm gonna be absolutely pooping my pants.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Oh no, because you do like, I don't know if it's because of my experience in weddings, I don't know. But I spoke to one of my besties and she was like, I loved that moment. She was like, I've been working on myself, I've been working out, I've got this beautiful dress on, hair makeup, and you're just you're just literally catwalking down that aisle. And everyone's looking at it. It's like it's your moment, like you've worked bloody hard for this. So enjoy it, soak it up. So when it comes to the doors are closed and then they open and I was there, I was like, Yes, guys, got my dad walking around to my hubby at the end. I was like, Yeah, look at this dress, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

I can imagine you just walking up and down.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Yeah, no, non-stop.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

I'll just do it like Gen. Let me just do it again.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Has everyone seen the back of the dress? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the sides. So sexy. What's the part you remember most about your wedding day?

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Like, have you got a favourite moment at some of the I think when I first saw him and we um yeah, when I first saw him on that day, and when I was standing there and I got Ryan on one side and I got my dad on the other, it was so special. Yeah, so so special. And if you are lucky, I know some people aren't lucky to still have their dads with them and things like that, but you'll have that special person anchoring you down. So like the nerves just went for me. So any nerves that were maybe tinkling around, once those doors were open, it was like, I ain't got no nerves. I'm walking this, can't walk and enjoying it. But then at the when you're there and you're like, This is it, but you've you've you've you've done you've put so much work into this day that you've got to you've gotta, you've gotta just be there. You've got like the nerves will fall away when you see them, which is what we tell all of our couples when they're like, Oh my god, I'm so nervous. Wait until you lock eyes with them. They'll just like it'll just go. That's actually so adorable. It is, it is, because the traditionally you don't see you don't see them the most important person that anchors you, you don't see them until everybody's looking at you. So you've got all of this this beautiful morning happening, you're having your makeup done, your hair done, you've got your girls around you, and then you like dress on, oh my god, this is it. Then the only the last thing you're gonna kind of that there's like a marker as soon as you lock eyes with them. It's just like, right, we're here, we've done it. Yeah, we've got here, everybody's here, everybody's dressed, clothes, washed, everything's like do you know what I mean? And like everybody's made uh the effort to be here for you. And even if that's like on a especially your weekdays, weddings, like we say to our couples all the time, like don't care what day you have your wedding on. If people if you the people who want to be there will be there, they'll be there. They're all gone. Yeah. So like as soon as you see them, all of your troubles and your nerves and everything melt away. And that feeling of just being there, and you're like, oh my god, we're swapping rings, we're doing this, kind of thing. It's just the best.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

So was it everything that you imagined basically?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Yeah, yeah, it was, yeah. Were there any regrets? Um yes. Oh, go on. And that is my photographer the one part that we were just saying is so important.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

But this is because I booked him a few years ago. And he's so good in his own right, he's so good, he's fantastic, his work is amazing, but for my day, he wasn't the right person. I wish I'd have had our recommended, and that's Phil. Yeah. I wish I'd have had him. For what reason was he not right? The all in the lead up, he was perfect. On the day, he was great.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

But so you you got on. Yeah, oh yeah, he's fantastic. Like you've got to be. Oh, yeah, he's great.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Absolutely fantastic, yeah. Yeah, oh he's fantastic, yeah. Um lovely guy. Um, but for my day, I obsessed with pictures and photographs and what have you. Like how I talk about like your lasting memories, they're so important. Um, but there just weren't enough pictures for me. And I thought we were having a second shooter. So if you can, if you can push that money out and get a second shooter, um, great. But with Phil, you don't need it. He's like, he's either there and everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

All the time.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

I mean, a lot of that depends on the venue as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

It does.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

If you have a foxtail, then obviously it's a lot faster.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

So you wouldn't have then you'd be outside having your photos done with your main photographer. You want the other guy or girl in taking your pictures of everybody having a fantastic time.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

But there just wasn't enough for me. Like, I wanted like 1500 pictures. I got like 500 pictures, 600 pictures. Right. So it was just that was my only regret. And my in I wish I'd have trusted my instinct, my gut instinct a few, it was even a couple of months before. I was like, is he gonna be right? Have I chosen the right one?

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Because Did you choose him though when you were gonna get married at Fox Star?

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Yeah, yeah. So I'd add in boots since then.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

I sometimes think that photographers suit different venues.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Yes, hundreds of things.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

So like if the venue's bigger, yeah, and their ideas are changing, then they get a lot more photos for it. And sometimes feel that in like a smaller venue, some photographers have that like this inside panic and they're like, oh god, waft off done. Yeah, it's not a gundoor. Yeah, so I think he was caught a bit like that. Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Yeah, because I saw one of his galleries from because he was very kind to show me a guy, um gallery from Foxtail, and it was beautiful, yeah, stunning, loads of images, um, absolutely beautiful, really bright, beautiful. Um, but he'd never shot at the plough before. And like you say, it's a completely different venue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So whereas Phil, where he knows the place inside and out, he knows like the weather, the weather sun, everything. Um when when it's best to go and do this bit, go and do that bit. He's he's just like at home. Uh he is part of the family of the plough almost. Like you guys are. You're all like the the recommended suppliers are part of the venue, aren't they? Um, and yeah, like I say, he's everywhere at once, and he's got such a good vibe. And not saying that Chris didn't bring a great vibe, he did, he was really good, but he was more of that professional level. Yeah. So whereas not saying that Phil isn't professional at all, but he's an absolute nutcase, he's he's ace, and he yeah, he he matches your vibe that you need. Like if if you are a more reserved couple, he will be that. But if you're absolute crackers, he'll push that with you, yeah, kind of thing, yeah, as well. So that was my if one regret would be, I wish I'd have trusted my instinct. Yeah, and that's advice to all brides and grooms, trust your instinct, yeah, and because it tells you a lot more than you think.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

I do think a photographer should should, on the whole, have always worked at the venue first, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Yeah, 100%, 100%, because they know it inside and out in all kinds of weathers. And even though Phil's shot like it must be over a thousand weddings there now, like the the galleries they just keep getting better. Because we're very lucky we get to see them once they've okay that the couple have okayed that, um, and they're happy for us to share the images, then um we have a good nosy through, and they're just fantastic. He catches everything. There's like I can't imagine there's moments that he misses because he just gets everything, yeah, and that's what you want. So for me, my regret is not trusting my instinct.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 31:21

In regards to that. I don't like that answer.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

And on the actual wedding date, what when's the moment that you think, oh, I'm married? This is it.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Er surely as I do.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

I think it's too much going on. There's too much going on. It's so yeah, it's like magic. It's so magic when it's happening. And I remember the um the lady who married us, she was like, You're really excited, aren't you? Because of standards. Yeah, like lovely life. And then um it's not until that was one thing that was good about having the wedding at the church, like not just one thing having the wedding at the church, because it's beautiful, loads of benefits. But we had half an hour in the car together.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Oh, right, yeah, time together.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Yeah, so when we were there and we were like, Oh my god, you could really do like ah how amazing was that? I was like, Do you love my dress? Do you love my hair? Give me compliments, yeah, yeah, please. Um so that was kind of we had that time to let that sink in.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Um, which was like, God, we've done it.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

I think that's the only time really you get with your partner, isn't it? After the ceremony, that little bit.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Yeah. And we always make sure you get that at the plough as well, because we'll as strange as this sounds. Yeah, show me behind the curtain.

unknown 32:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

When I was showing literally, when I was doing a private view yesterday, I was like, So we'll put you behind the curtain after you've just got married. And I was like, that sounds really odd. I was like, I will show you what I mean. That does sound really strange, but I will show you what I mean, and I promise it's better than it sounds. So what is it? Explain this. So when you come out of the ceremony, married, there is a curtain which we have already hid the bride behind and her bridal party behind, so that we can do like a reveal. Because you've naturally everybody's snooping. Everybody wants the first look at the bride and the bridal party. So we hide them, and it gives us that chance to have that chat with them and say and prepare all the nervous bridesmaids. They're like, You're just walking down the aisle. That's all you're doing. Just think that. Just hold your flowers nice and low and look up and just take your time. Um hide them and then pull it back and then they go, get married, come back. And then like, right, we're just gonna pop you behind this curtain, put it there. And they have they they've just been given a drink, and they can just have that like, oh my god, that just happened. Like, and it they really benefit from that. Yeah, because like you said, Paul, it's it's one of the only opportunities you have through a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Was it Holly? Yes, yeah, from events, and she she was saying that just hold hands in that moment, wasn't you?

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It does make a lot of sense, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean, there's a couple of other moments you can have um where like when we seat the guests for the wedding breakfast, you've got to be elsewhere on your own at that point. So that's another little segment that you'll have to yourselves. And a lot of brides and grooms now, brides and brides, grooms and grooms, are having their own table, so the sweetheart table. So and that's a really nice touch because then you've literally got like an hour and a half where the bulk of it is just you two. It's become popular that's very in recent years. Yeah, did you have to like it? We didn't got too many people.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

No, fair enough. They were all squished in the yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:37

But yes, black left.

SPEAKER_02 34:40

Did you have kids at your wedding?

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

And what were you thought of?

SPEAKER_01 34:46

Yes. I love children so much. Yeah, yeah. So for me, I couldn't not have them there. My nieces and nephews, and um I was sad that we couldn't have the family friends. No, friends, our the children of our friends, uh, because I love them just as dearly. But it's it's not a day for kids. Why didn't it really days this? Yeah, it's long, it's you've got to you've got to do it. And it does ruin it for the test. It can do. If you haven't got a plan in place, it can definitely because we've had brides and grooms where I've had to go and intercept and get the bridesmaids or the best man, and I'm like, can you take those children away from them just for like just give them 10 minutes? And there was a day where I actually sent them to the room, yeah, to the to the bedroom. I was just like, just go and have half an hour because they were so overwhelmed. Because everybody's having a fantastic time, they're not thinking about the other kids. Like, they're all here having the food, drinks, having you know, just having a brilliant time. But perhaps they hadn't had that conversation in advance to say, can you look after little man, little little lady, whatever you prepped for the kids quite well at your wedding, though?

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Yeah, yeah. You locked them all in a marquee, didn't you? Yeah, I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Best thing, yeah. Fantastic. Is that your advice then for if you are having kids, prep. Lock them away. Lock them away.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah, yeah. Just just leave them. No, no, no, no, no, no. Um, definitely prep for it. It'll make your life a lot easier, it'll make the parents of the children's lives a lot easier. Because when it comes to kids, because that's always a big question, and you've got to think, you've got to kind of make that decision quite early on as well, because that can affect what venue you go to. Yeah, it's gonna affect the cost that you pay. Um, many people say no kids, and that's okay. If you if you want if you don't want any kids there, that's fine. I mean, if it's your own kids, then that's a bit tight, but that's a bit tight, a bit harsh. Yeah. Um, but no, I'm other kidding.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Um then you feel like you have to invite another kid so your kid's got someone to play with.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally, literally. And when they are the only kids, they're so bored. Yeah, so so bored. Yeah. Unless you've got cool uncle who can look after them, or cool auntie, sha shaw, or something that's gonna look after them. Um, but no, if you're gonna have kids there, plan for it because um they'll it's it's just so boring, it's a long day, they need feeding, people forget to feed them. Like, yeah, we've got you've got canopies going around, but are the kids gonna want a fancy piece of brie on a crostini? With a goat's cheese. No, yeah, but goat's cheese? No, probably not. Some chips. Give that kid some chips.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

We forgot to put some cream on our kids. Yeah, which uh we'll blame Joe.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Hey, you're just it's a 50-50 partnership there, exactly. 50-50.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

But uh yeah, Ava came at the end of the day and it was pretty.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

Oh bless her.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Neglect. It was bad, really.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Right, shall we move on to the final section?

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Cool enough.

SPEAKER_02 37:53

So, after the wedding, did you get post-wedding blues?

SPEAKER_01 37:58

Um, it's been a while now, hasn't it? It was November. So it was November, yeah, end of November. So I remember the day after getting into my house with my mum and dad, little man, a new hobby.

unknown 38:10

I was like, yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

We did it. It's done. Yes, no more planning, no more this, that, the other. And because you end up doing your planning at stupid hours in the morning. Which advice to brides, you do not need that thing on Sheen at 3am in the morning, you do not need it. Don't get it. Don't send for payment at that point. Wait until it's a normal hour of the day. The amount of things that I should be selling, like, because we I didn't get them back in time either.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

It's just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

Yeah. I'm just literally gonna be like charity shot. Um, but I as much as I um I think I got a bit too stressed out with planning. Okay. So, like the the kind of day, as we do as coordinators, that was fine. But then when it came to I was the like table plan and stuff like that, that was hard. Um, so after I was like, oh my god, I can have my brain back. Which I don't know if other people get that. I don't know if that was just me. I guess it's like a weightlifter, didn't there? Yeah, yeah. Because it's done, you don't have to think about it anymore. Yeah, yeah, you haven't got to think about like, is Auntie blah blah gonna be okay over there? And yeah, I don't want me nana sitting over there, but I want I'd like to be here, but I can't fit her here because of this table and blah blah blah. Um so it was a relief once it was done. But then you do kind of get I I was happy it was done because of the planning part. Yeah. And I was like stressed with it. But you do kind of wish, especially when I got the photos back and there wasn't as many as I wanted, like that's where my wedding blues came. Okay. Kind of like I wish I could go and do it again in the sense of I wish I could like have had a few more hours sleep the night before, because I literally had about three hours sleep um and was faffing around with a couple of things on the morning. Um so in that respect, if I could have gone that that was my blues, kind I think. So I wish I'd have got more p pictures and I wish I'd have realised how quick it would go.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Like nothing prepares you. And it is such a fantastic day.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

It's har it's so hard to explain to people, isn't it? But it is actually a fantastic day.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

It is literally one of the best days.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

And when people say, Oh, it is one of the days you remember as you get older, it's very true.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Yeah, because you've got all those special people together as well. And it's very rare that you're gonna have, if ever, all those people in the same place. Your funeral. Yeah, which is really more than so, in terms of that's where my blues were, but no, I was over the overjoyed, over the moon when it was, yeah, the planning part was gone. It's over. Yeah, yeah, literally, literally, yeah. Are there things you wish you're worried less about? Oh, yeah, loads, loads of things. And I wish I'd have been. I have to remind myself all the time, don't take life so seriously. Yeah. And you have to do that with your planning as well, because when such and such is saying that they want that person there, and you haven't got that budget for that person, or you don't want them there for whatever reason, then it is your day. Like, don't stress over it. Don't because I'm the most undramatic person in the universe. It's for me to have drama, in I was like shocked when the drama came to me, the wedding planning. I was like, what? It's me too? Like what? So like I remember laughing about it and then and then it really bothered me for a while. Um and then we should have stopped our instinct in the first uh place anyway. So in terms of like tying it all up, yeah. Was there anything you stressed too much about then? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

So it was more like just overthinking, over pleasing.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

Yeah, basically. Overthinking, over pleasing, yeah, yeah. You've got to kind of try and nip that in the bud. Yeah, when you notice it. Yeah, yeah, literally. Like you've got to notice it when it starts going that way and you start feeling a little bit like, oh, that's a bit just something doesn't sit right with you. It's not sitting right with you for a reason. So trust your instinct. Go, go with whatever your your answer is, your real gut answer is to that thing. Like go with it. Yeah. Because you'll it'll only pay off. And like I said earlier, like it's it is one day. So that little hiccup or that annoying person or that annoying little thing, it'll just pass. Yeah. It'll pass.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

So, how is married life?

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Oh, it's Ace.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

Does it change? Um you say we've with him 16 years.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:49

Has it changed in the last five, six months?

SPEAKER_01 42:51

Um I feel like I can be more bossy.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

I'm your wife. I'm your wife now. Have you? Oh, if he could do something, and I was like, as your wifey, no, you can't.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

I can't wait to be married now.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Yeah, honestly. So anyway. So hence, no.

unknown 43:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

That's the only thing. I think I can be a bit more bossy with him because he is mine, and also belongs to me.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

So marriage equals ownership. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

I love it. But also it brings that sense of you can be so selfish. Like, in terms of like selfish with your time.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:40

Like, I want to spend this time with him. Like, we we're gonna carve out this time for us, and nobody else is getting involved, kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 43:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Whereas I'm quite a pushover, so people can like get in.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:54

Whereas like now I can be like, no, actually, I want to spend time with my husband and my son. Yeah. Just the three of us. Whereas before I'd have been like, Oh, it's yeah, it's okay, it's fine. Whereas now I'm like, No. And the wifey. And yeah, and in regards to things like if he makes it because he always wants a motorbike. He's had one in the past.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

And then he had to get rid of it. Um and he wants a motorbike in the future. And I'm like, No, hon. No. There's your wife now. Yeah. Because what if anything happens to you on that bike? I'm your wife. And we've got a son. So and he actually said the other day, he says, Well, I'm not ever gonna have a bike again, am I? I'm like, he's learning. Oh, the Lord. Yes. So really, authority is something that comes with marriage. Oh, women. Yeah, yeah, get ready for it.

SPEAKER_00 44:45

So after all the big day, all the planning, all the money, everything. What actually mattered at the very end of it all?

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Um, just you two, just those little moments that you have to yourself, and like making that day personal and having those little personal touches throughout. Like our walking my walking down song was um the Avengers soundtrack, but like a music version of it. Well, that's like so that's so awesome as well. Yeah. So like even down to things like your table names, if you if you've got things that you can have as your table names, like places you've been to, like that day is about you two. Like put everything out there. Like, if you want to print loads of pictures off and hang them up in places, like this is kind of the the beginning, the first chapter of your life where it where you you meet each other, you're engaged and what have you. Like celebrate that on the day because it is just about you two. It doesn't matter about everybody else. Yeah, but like even if you uh you you do something really small and it's just you like you two and a couple of other people, that's fine, because that's all that's all it's about. It's just you two. So I think in the I think in the lead up, I learned that as well. Like, we are really important, like he's really important to me, I'm really important to him. And you kind of pick up on these things as you're going through, and you're like, shall we have that? No, I don't like that either. And you just kind of learn about learn more about each other on the way, and then on that day, and they're like looking you like deep into your soul. It's it's just ace, so nice, and it does make it more special. And like people ask me at the at the pub, like the regulars like, How's married life? I'm like, it's really lovely, it is, it's much the same, but it's just a little bit lovelier.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

Yeah, we'll do some bonus quick fire questions. Okay, you're ready. Biggest waste of money, all the crap on Sheen. All the crap on Sheen.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

Yeah, nice, most emotional moment. Um the actual marriage. They're looking at each other and you're saying these lovely things to each other, and like it's just as if you'd shut everybody else out because it's just you two. Yeah. Okay. Worst stress. Table plan. Table plan. Best supplier. Oh I can't do that. I can't wait. Wait, no, no, no, no. Yeah, everybody.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

All the recommendations.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Yeah, literally, literally, everybody was a part of the day.

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Okay, one thing every bride should do.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

Define what you want early on.

SPEAKER_02 47:15

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Wedding trend you love. Oh, so many. So many. Oh, the black and white. So I love um that classic black and white. So if I'd have if I'd have been planning my day for the first time round, I'd have gone me and white, the girls in black. Love that. I had like black.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

I like that too.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

Um, yeah, it's so good. I really like it. Um, and silk, black silk.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

I don't think it will ever not look good.

SPEAKER_01 47:40

No, it's so classic.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

It's definitely in at the moment, though. Oh, very. Oh, it's been in for ages, hasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Yeah. Okay, wedding trend you hate. The thing that I hate is when people don't have photographers.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

That's just massive. It's ridiculous. It's not even a trend, we just hate it. We just hate it. Yeah. Uh would you do it all again?

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

Yeah. 100%. Perfect. Well, you did it! Yeah! Is there anything that you want to plug? You want to plug the plow?

SPEAKER_01 48:07

We've got what have we got? We've got a wedding fair in September. Wedding fair in September. Yeah, September 20th. Yep. Perfect times. 12 to 3. 12 to 3. Amazing. You might know that better than I do, I'm not sure. But I'm going with 12 to 3. So if you haven't had a few.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

We'll go with that. We'll find out. Thank you so much for coming on. Oh, it's a pleasure. Absolutely pleasure. And we will see you all next week.