Wedding Icks, Open Bars & Child-Free Weddings | I Do or I Don’t? 💍🔥

Would you ban kids from your wedding? Should bridesmaids pay for their own dresses? And are wedding favours actually pointless? 👀

In this hilarious and brutally honest episode of Totally Absolutely Engaged, we’re joined by Esme from behind the scenes as we play “I Do or I Don’t” — the ultimate wedding debate game where we blind react to some of the most controversial wedding trends and traditions.

From open bars and DIY weddings to videographers, plus ones, save the dates, wedding websites and live bands, nothing is off limits. Expect strong opinions, chaotic debates, wedding planning tips, supplier insights and plenty of laughs along the way.

In this episode:
✨ Wedding playlists vs DJs reading the room
✨ Child-free weddings — rude or reasonable?
✨ Should bridesmaids pay for dresses?
✨ Open bars: dream wedding or total disaster?
✨ DIY weddings and wedding websites
✨ Videographer vs content creator
✨ Wedding favours, save the dates & bridesmaid proposals
✨ Cash gifts vs traditional wedding presents
✨ Suit hire for grooms and groomsmen

Whether you’re newly engaged, planning your wedding, or work in the wedding industry, this episode is packed with relatable wedding chat, unpopular opinions and real talk from people who see weddings every single day.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify & Apple Podcasts
📺 Watch on YouTube
📲 Follow us on TikTok & Instagram: @totallyabsolutelyengaged

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Totally Absolutely Engaged. Hello. Well, today it's not just us two.

SPEAKER_06 0:15

No.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

But we have Esme. Hello.

SPEAKER_06 0:20

She does all the behind-the-scenes working. She does. So you do some of the scripts for us, you do you uh control the website. Yes. Um you do all the Friday features, uh, deal with the brides, etc. Yeah. Um, so yeah, we've dragged you on, haven't we, today? Yeah. We have, because it was actually your idea.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Yeah, against your will, we held a hostage, uh, but it was actually your idea, wasn't it, to do a I do and I don't episode. It's like a yay or nay. A yay or nay. So we've got a range of different questions that we've not yet seen.

SPEAKER_06 0:50

No.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

And we're gonna blind react basically with our cards. I do, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Get your opinions on it.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

And then we're gonna have a little debate because me and Paul tend to disagree on most things.

SPEAKER_06 1:00

So Yeah, everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

It's gonna be an interesting.

SPEAKER_06 1:06

I actually don't want to know your answers. So we are gonna just do it as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

But we're gonna help out the and then show you them one three.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Okay, this is interesting. Anyway. Okay. Shall we start?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Number one, wedding playlists. So giving your DJ a set of songs to play and like collating plus five hours worth of songs on your wedding day.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

So upwards of five hours.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Yeah. Like over a hundred songs, I'd say. Yeah. Spotify playlist.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

But they're just giving it to the DJ. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Yeah. I do or I don't. Three, two, one. Oh. You do. I do.

unknown 1:45

What?

SPEAKER_06 1:45

Give a DJ nothing to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

No, no, no. I think the the DJ should be given a playlist because otherwise they're just gonna play the generic songs.

SPEAKER_06 1:56

But the whole point of the DJ is that it plays to the room.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:59

But they but I don't mind like the odd song, but I'm shocked that you've said that. Are you?

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Yeah. Well, I was shocked when we had an episode that didn't take playlists, a DJ that didn't take playlists. I think that the couple should provide a playlist to the DJ of the songs that they like and that they know that their guests like, and then it's up to the DJ on the day to play those songs along with songs that also fill the dance floor.

SPEAKER_06 2:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

I don't think that the DJ shouldn't be given any songs in just winter.

SPEAKER_06 2:30

That's kind of what I think.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 2:32

But the question was a Spotify playlist. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 2:37

So that would have been like a constant playlist.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Oh well that I disagree with. That I disagree with. Oh, just a point.

SPEAKER_06 2:44

Question one, you fucked it up.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Oh, it's up to interpretation, I guess. Okay. So a Spotify playlist.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

I don't think song suggestions. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:01

Yeah, it definitely works a lot better, doesn't it? I think you should have the the key ones, like the first dance, the dance with the with the father. Um even like the last, the very last song of the night, because I think a lot of couples like to end on a final song, yeah, that's their song. Yeah. But yeah, other than that, I think the DJ is being paid for and is responsible for reading the room.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

I agree, I do agree. So is he allowed to take requests or um oh I really struggle with this one. I think that the request should be limited. So not not every single drunk person that comes up and requests, I don't know, Mama Mia, like can get it. But if it's a good request and it and he thinks, oh, this fits the vibe. I was so sexist and I just said hey. They think that it fits the vibe, then then take the request. Agreed. That's my opinion.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Okay, number two, a second photographer. Three, two, one. Oh, I disagree again.

SPEAKER_06 4:04

Um yeah, I don't think you need a second photographer. I know people say like there's big venues and that you can capture different parts. But I don't know, I just think we're a waste of money.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

I think that it is dependent on the venue.

SPEAKER_06 4:19

It's dependent on the venue, but it's also if you've got a content creator, then they're definitely going to be capturing stuff.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Who says that there's a content creator?

SPEAKER_06 4:25

Well, I'm just saying there is one. You're making up a scenario. Yeah, later. Okay, I would advise that you would get one photographer and one content creator. Okay. Because I just think they capture different moments and moments that just instantly happen. There's no choreography or anything like that to it. Whereas I don't know, our second photographer, I don't know. You're just wasting. I know I'm gonna get a bit of hate, but I I just feel like it's not a waste.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

I don't think it's a waste of money for the above reasons. Um, one in the morning, you can have one photographer on the bride, one photographer on the groom. Yes. Then later on in the day, when photographer number one takes bride and groom off the couple's shoot, you can have one capturing all the guests still. And then in the evening, just double the shots. Why not?

SPEAKER_06 5:16

But you've got you, content creator.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

In your scenario. Yeah, in your scenario, you have a content creator.

SPEAKER_06 5:23

I want my content creator. I never even worked for these, and now I really like them. But no, I mean there's not a lot. There's not a lot that a man does, photograph-wise. Like, there's what we only get put in a time or something like that. So the photographer spends a lot of time with the the women getting ready because that's where the laughs happen, blah blah blah. And then they normally just veer off for 15 minutes, take a few pictures of the men, and jobs are good. Do you really need to pay a second photographer for that?

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Well, that's up to you. Maybe not.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Okay, number three, quite a controversial one. Oh gosh. Child-free wedding.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Child-free wedding.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Child-free. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 6:11

Do we agree with them?

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah. Do you want a child-free or do you not?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

This is hard to count us in.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Easiest one yet. Oh, another just agree.

SPEAKER_06 6:23

On the whole, I agree that I do like going to child-free weddings. But we have to allow for couples that actually have children. And also, it is a real it is hard to find babysitters.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Okay, I think that maybe the couple themselves children, like, fair enough.

SPEAKER_06 6:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Every single other child absolutely not. Like, there's no reason to have kids at your wedding. Weddings aren't for kids. Kids find weddings boring, they don't understand the concept, they don't understand whether they're they're a tie to the parents like who are guests at this wedding. They cry, they're sick, they're gross, I feel like they snot on the mirror. I just can't even No, no.

SPEAKER_06 7:09

Well, you get weddings that are very child-oriented.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 7:13

And it's actually a fun feel, and Or it's just one kid.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

If you want to spend your money on entertaining kids on your wedding day, that's up to you, but just no, I'm judging hard.

SPEAKER_04 7:22

Because on the whole, I don't agree with you, but I I feel like you can't just ban kids.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

You can.

SPEAKER_06 7:30

Okay, we might agree on one in a minute.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Number four. Bridesmaids paying for dresses. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 7:38

I know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

Bridesmaids pay for dresses.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Bridesmaids paying for their own dresses.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

Yeah. Not hair, not makeup, just the dress at this point. Okay. Both decided? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Three, two, one, shelf.

SPEAKER_05 7:58

Which probably says more about us.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Wait, hold on, no, I've said this wrong. So you don't agree that bridesmaids should pay for dresses? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 8:08

Yeah, so the bride should pay.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think the bride should pay for it.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 8:11

Right, done.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Good.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

No, I'm not going to be agree.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Shall we explain why though? I think I think that hair and makeup, I actually think that the bridesmaids should pay themselves because they're choosing if they want it done. Unless the bride wants a specific style, they're not for debate. The dresses, however, you're asking them to be your bridesmaid. So you should pay for the dress.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Especially if you want colour schemes, like different types of dresses.

SPEAKER_06 8:37

Yeah, yeah, because it's not particularly a dress that that person would have. Would choose themselves or wear at any other time. Yeah. So I do think the bride should pay.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Which I know is harsh, but well, if the bridesmaids offered, I would say, yeah, okay, you can pay if you're offering.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Okay, number five. Open bar. Agree, disagree. Three, two, one. Whoa! I'm shocked by that one. What?

SPEAKER_06 9:07

Go on, we we well, I obviously do a lot of collections at night, and I see the weddings with the three bars, and they always end in fighting early because they're too pissed. And they can't uh they can't finish.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06 9:21

Um and people just take the bots it, don't they? I mean you get the people that are just will go up for a drink every hour, and then you get the people that are like, oh, if he's paying, I'm gonna get doubles, I'm gonna and then you end up with Uncle Narbed totally pissed. Really? So I on the whole, the thought of an all expenses paid bar is great, but uh it does cause problems later down the line. Oh, I hadn't thought about the problems.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Just for me, I just think as a guest, I just absolutely left.

SPEAKER_05 9:53

So you're the person that would do bubbles okay, imagine being sick on the bride's dress.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Have you ever seen that?

SPEAKER_06 10:03

Awful. I haven't actually I've seen I've seen chocolate and kids.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Oh that's another argument in Okay, number six, a live band. Both got your decisions? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:20

Yeah, I think we're gonna agree on this.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Yeah, one, yeah, yeah, it's got yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:26

It's good for atmosphere. It's good. I know DJs struggle when the live band finishes and there's that that little lull period, and then the DJ's got more work. But at the same time, it's so great, isn't it? A to have live music through the day, especially sort of that bit after wedding breakfast or just before, and then into the evening. It's a great way to start, get the atmosphere right.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Yeah, it's more interactive, yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Even like a saxophone player or a little violin.

SPEAKER_06 10:52

Yeah, just anything, yeah. But it it is costly for the for the uh bride and groom, I do get.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

But I do argue well worth it. Yeah, I think if you're gonna spend your money on any form of entertainment, make it a live band. Yeah, and photo boots, and photo boots, and photo boots, and dance ball, and very like and sweet cards and sweet cards.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Okay, next one seven DIY weddings, DIY brides.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:21

Three do we agree with them? Uh one show. Oh I've not even looked at yours yet. Uh I'm gonna say overall, no.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Yeah, I'm a solid, I'm a solid I don't on that one.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

I wasn't expecting an agree for that one.

SPEAKER_06 11:37

Well, I was very near.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

I I I just don't know why you'd put the pressure on yourself to get it done. I understand financially, okay, maybe, but I don't actually think the financial savings is worth the trauma and stress on your own wedding day where you're meant to be relaxing, chillaxing, you know.

SPEAKER_06 11:56

I do agree. I it's just that some brides want to be creative and do it themselves. And they love doing it. And part of getting married is part of doing all the prep and all the all the work themselves. And I think some couples, especially we have seen, do love it. And like some of the guys, like that's their way to contribute. So like they I shouldn't say this, but they sort of build their own sort of carts or they build their own sort of crisp walls and things like that, and it's their contribution to the wedding. I don't actually think. Yeah, exactly. It's no one ever. But um, I don't know. I I think that there are brides out there that love doing it themselves, and for them, good luck to you.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

But overall, I just I just think even if you're creative, I think find a supplier that's willing to work with your creativity and like and you can help. But put in all that pressure why do it? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

No.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

This is a fat no for me. On my wedding week, I'm going to a spa. I will not be speaking to anybody or doing anything. Everybody else will be doing it. And I think that's the way it should be for everybody.

SPEAKER_06 13:05

It sounds like your work week, but it's a cheesy shit.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Oh, sorry, can I say next one? Go on. Plus ones for everyone. Plus ones for everyone. Yeah. What should we say? Majority of guests. Okay. Three, two, one. Another agree. Yeah, we agree, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:32

I think complete waste of money. I don't want to wrangle. Who cares if your best mate's got just met someone three weeks ago? I've got no interest. On my wedding day, I'm paying for the food, I'm paying for everything. The last thing I want to see is someone who's been with someone for a month.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

What about splitting it? So evening guests bring you plus.

SPEAKER_06 13:50

No, evening, fine. Just bringing whoever you want in the evening. Bring your neighbours, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

No, you see, I'm still uh I don't on that because I don't like unless it's been run by me, I don't want randomers at my wedding and in all my photos, and I'm looking back going, who is that? Like, who actually is that? At my wedding? No, no, no, no. Especially if we've got a free bar, an open bar, and they're just hammering it.

SPEAKER_06 14:15

I'd so set you up. I'd advertise it on social media. Free bar at some Cornwall Beach you want to get married at.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Well, he actually knows as well.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

This is a bad thing. I'm screwed. Okay, next one.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

Go on.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Cash over a wedding gift.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Three, two, one. I'm very central on this. I don't really care. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_04 14:44

I only want cash. Why would you want some crappy frame?

SPEAKER_02 14:53

I mean, there's just a happy wedding day.

SPEAKER_05 14:55

Or some what what else do you get?

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Like a glass or some dinnerware.

SPEAKER_06 14:59

Just a load of rubbish.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

And that's always somebody else's taste as well.

SPEAKER_06 15:03

I want cash. You're never gonna display it in your house, are you? So it's a wasted gift. And and even the fizz, I mean, how many bottles of Posecco do you really want? You can buy more. Can't answer that. I think with cash you could either put it to one big experience.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

Like a honeymoon or something.

SPEAKER_06 15:24

Yeah, like a mini moon or something. A mini moon. Which I know you like that phrase. Um or yeah, just even a day out, just something, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

Or you can buy dinnerware that you do like for that.

SPEAKER_06 15:36

Exactly, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 15:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Okay, I want cash too.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Or bank transfer, whatever you know. Little QR code.

SPEAKER_06 15:44

Yeah, do you agree with bank transfers on uh bank transfer details on in wedding invitations?

SPEAKER_02 15:49

Oh yeah. We had that recently.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah, we have had that recently.

SPEAKER_06 15:52

Bella mentioned it and I was like, 'cause she hates it. She hates it, but But how else are you meant to give them the details?

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Yeah, which I guess it's a is it cheeky? But on an invitation, when you're not even saying you've not RSVP chat.

SPEAKER_06 16:06

And then when else do you can't do it on the table favours, can you?

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Just like Yeah, when else do you do it?

SPEAKER_06 16:12

Or could you leave a little sum-up machine on each table? Just hope that they go.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Yeah, I don't know. That's a tricky one. I always think that money is a bit of a tricky. It's always a tricky subject. It is. Yeah, unsure on that.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Okay. Number ten. Suit hire. For grooms, groomsmen.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Right, just like that. Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

And so this is a no-brainer, surely. I think it makes sense.

SPEAKER_06 16:46

Why would you buy a suit for a day? And you can get a really top quality, expensive suit.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

Fraction of the price.

SPEAKER_06 16:53

For a fraction of the price. You hire it for the day. If you sick on it, you can return it anyway. No, yeah. Yeah, you might have to pay for that. But no, overall, no. There's companies out there that offer really good services, even down to the shoes, cufflinks, etc. etc.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

What about for the groom?

SPEAKER_06 17:16

Yeah, yeah. Everyone. Everyone.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Oh, I think it's nice for the groom to buy it and keep it. Same as a wedding dress.

SPEAKER_06 17:24

I've not I've not looked at either of my two. Wonder why?

SPEAKER_03 17:29

No, you don't, you don't ever. When do you ever go back and go on? I think dresses is different.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

But then would you hire a wedding dress? Is that a different answer then? I wouldn't, absolutely not. No, you'd buy it.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Buy one.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

What what's your opinion?

SPEAKER_06 17:43

Um no, you would have to buy a wedding dress.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Yeah. Did you say you wouldn't wear a wedding dress?

SPEAKER_06 17:49

Um no, I think the men should hire and the women should buy. And I don't really see.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

That is interesting, because would you you want your son to try your suit on that?

SPEAKER_06 17:59

No, it's not like that. No. Is that not a thing? No. I think I understand women and on the whole daughter wanting to see it, but no, yeah, to be fair, I don't think I've ever seen my dad's suit.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

That might have even been a higher. I don't know. I don't think I've ever seen it.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Fair enough. Yeah. Right. Number 11, wedding favours. Yay or nay. Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Oh, we actually agree. It's just pointless. It is, it's so pointless.

SPEAKER_06 18:28

It's a load of expense for the bride and groom. Bride and bride, groom and groom. That it's just not needed. No, it's absolutely not. When have you ever sat down and gone, oh, this is a good favour? You just think, ugh. I know that sounds ungrateful, but No, but it is true.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Like, there's literally no point.

SPEAKER_06 18:46

No, the only thing I like is for the kids. If there's kids at the wedding, which you don't want any there, but if there is, and there's like colouring book, some crayons, fabulous idea. Keeps the kids quiet all through the speeches. Love that idea. Winner. But having some bloody bubbles to blow, or I don't know, what else is there? Oh a shot. I don't mind a shot actually. Yeah, but on shot.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

No, well that makes sense, but you can have that on like a shot wall or something. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_06 19:13

But yeah, we have shot walls now for that. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Like that makes sense. But yeah, like you say the bubbles and the little crappy little key things and that that you always oh there's no point.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

I hate them. And if you've got like a hundred guests, that's a lot of extra money. Power.

SPEAKER_06 19:27

Yeah, I mean, even if you're spending two pounds on a on wedding favours.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Plus everything else.

SPEAKER_06 19:33

Yeah, I mean it's still 200 quid, isn't it? That you could have put somewhere else. Yeah. To a live band or something.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Yeah, exactly. Great, cool. Uh number twelve, a wedding website. So people like they put the F and Qs. F and Qs? F and Q's Frequently answered questions. Um, and like locations, timings, that kind of thing on the website. And send it off.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Three, two, one. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Yeah, really, honestly, because I just think I can't be asked saying over and over again, oh, here's all the information of a wedding when everyone asks. I might as well just go, here's the link, bam. Go and find it out for yourself.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Well, yeah, would you still get questions? Like, would people just be like, oh no, I'd just rather ask you the questions?

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Well, I'd say I don't care. Built this website, you're on the case.

SPEAKER_05 20:28

I just think what a load of unnecessary admin.

SPEAKER_06 20:32

Completely. It's on the invitation. People should grow up, read the invitation, and know where they're going.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Well, no things like colour schemes, like stuff not to wear. Um, what else do you get asked? Time of arrival.

SPEAKER_06 20:46

But again, why aren't people why don't they know this though?

SPEAKER_01 20:50

This is true. I mean you work for people, you should know how damn big of me. Like people ask stupid questions. And if you just keep referring them to the website, then hopefully they'll stop mireing you.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

I think the website is overkill.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

Absolute overkill.

SPEAKER_03 21:09

But no, I don't justify it at all.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Fair enough. Okay, number 13, videographer. Three, two, one. Easy. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Videographer.

SPEAKER_06 21:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

I do.

SPEAKER_06 21:26

Well, I I I like the idea of one, but is it a must?

SPEAKER_01 21:29

A videographer.

SPEAKER_06 21:31

I know.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

I think it's a conversation. And you said I really regret not having a videographer at my wedding.

SPEAKER_04 21:37

I do regret it, but content created.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Who's playing it?

SPEAKER_05 21:47

I think it did all the time. It was uh Lisa, wasn't it, that we had when she completely sold it to me.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Oh my god. No, I think a videographer is an absolute must. They record all the speeches. Um the ceremony, parts of like um the wedding, oh yes, yes, yes, yes, videographer. I do, I do, I do.

SPEAKER_06 22:06

I do regret not having one. However, sadly, you just if you've got to claw the money back, it has that has to be one of the things.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Really? Interesting.

SPEAKER_06 22:17

What else are you clawing your money back on?

SPEAKER_02 22:18

Kids.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Favours.

SPEAKER_06 22:23

Yeah, I I think it's a lot of pressure for people. It's well, I mean, I don't I don't know the price. Uh well, let's just randomly say a thousand.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

I think it's I think it's very similar to what a photographer is.

SPEAKER_06 22:32

So you're randomly say a thousand, probably more. It is a lot of money.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

It is, but so worth it because like I okay, they didn't have a videographer, but my mum and dad um dedicated somebody to like you're on video duty. And I watched that back. And if that had been more professional quality, it had captured like every single moment, like the audio quality was really clear. That would be amazing to watch. That would be as important as the dress.

SPEAKER_06 22:58

Yeah, really? Yes. That's a big claim.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I don't care, I'm claiming it. Put your stamp on it. Put my stamp on it. The videographer is up there with the dress, the venue, the photographer.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Like Vision Wave said, it's timeless. Like you watch on your TV, it's all horizontal. You don't have to piece all the content together.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Oh my god, it's a great guy. Can you imagine him going around like a bloody wedding show? He'd be like, Oh yes, bye. Deposit, deposit, deposit, sold, sold, sold.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Right, next. Okay, number 14. Save the dates so you send them out before the invitation, just to let people know the date of your wedding. Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_06 23:47

I I I do, but it's extra admin.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Extra admin, I don't see the point. Put it on your invitation.

SPEAKER_06 23:52

No, but when you've got kids, I know you don't like kids. But when you've got kids, you need to know well in advance. Because you might be booking holidays or something. But yeah, I just think, I don't know. Save the dates.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Like how it's not.

SPEAKER_06 24:07

Well recommended it, but I forgot.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

I can't remember either. No, I think it was more than that. More. I think so.

SPEAKER_06 24:17

I think it was about a year in front and then another invite. I just think I think it'd be when you when you get engaged, you're excited. So you don't know anything really, do you? So say save the date is just an exciting thing to tell people that oh, I'm engaged and this is where I'm getting married and when. And then you can leave them for a bit, then, and then you send out the official invitation.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

It's so unnecessary. Just send the invitations. I don't get it. It's just a way to spend.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

I'd have said it out loud, I do agree.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

It's just a way to spend more money, I think. Like the date's always been a thing.

SPEAKER_04 24:51

Cosarello's gonna buy like no, I don't think you need them.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Send your invitations out early and then set up a website and drop them.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

God.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Yeah. Okay, number 15. Bridesmaid proposals where you give them like a box and you say, Will you be my bridesmaid with like little things in? Okay. That kind of thing.

SPEAKER_06 25:15

Um is it right, is it is it a nice thing to do or is it needed?

SPEAKER_02 25:20

How do you think? It's just would you do it or wouldn't you do it? I do or I don't.

unknown 25:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Three, two, one. What?

SPEAKER_03 25:30

You wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Propose to my.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Propose to my own.

SPEAKER_05 25:36

You're asking them to do this special thing for you.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

And I have to propose to them with a whole box and gifts.

SPEAKER_06 25:42

Well, propose might be the wrong word.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

And buying them, I've just said I'll buy them their dress. And if I have to then give them gifts to ask them.

SPEAKER_06 25:48

I think it's nice just to have like a little hamper or little bottle of bubbly that you could.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

No, I I think I'd announce it just in a different way. Like, oh you'd be more bridesmaid. Just so if you tell your friends, check that website. Yeah, check the website. Are you a bridesmaid or are you not?

SPEAKER_03 26:06

These are your not your details for the bridesmaids.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Oh well, okay. I might I might alone I might make my friends compete in a game. Oh, competition. That'll be my bridesmaids.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

How many bridesmaids do you want?

SPEAKER_01 26:23

I think I'm having two. My sister, his sister. Nice jobs are good in. Nice and easy. Two dresses to pay for.

SPEAKER_06 26:30

It stops a lot around with friends as well.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

It does. That's the thing. I've got different groups of friends.

SPEAKER_06 26:36

But then you've got people that want their friends, not their family. So then that gets confusing as well.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, just just family. Do it your wish.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Okay, that's all of Is that all the questions?

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Didn't use the end of the last one. Patiently waiting. Right, that's everything then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 27:02

Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Cool. Nice and abrupt ending for you all.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

It's been fun actually. I've enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

Good. I've enjoyed having you here.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

We should make this a feature, a little monthly series. And I think so. Well, thank you all for watching. I know. We'll get me on again.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Oh yeah, we'll have a monthly second.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Like and subscribe to get Esme back on. And a comment. If she doesn't get enough likes, she's getting fired. So a job's in your hands, guys. Where can people find us, Esme?

SPEAKER_02 27:35

If you're on Instagram. Yeah. On TikTok, totally absolutely engaged. W.Totally absolutely engaged. Um YouTube. Yeah. Can't forget that. Yeah, YouTube, same again. And Spotify. Apple.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Yeah. And please give us a rating on Spotify and Apple as well because a rating goes a long way and we're trying to edge up the charts, and I think it helps with that.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

It did.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

So thank you all for watching slash listening. See you all next week.