How to Embrace Your Teenage Renaissance with Guest Hela Wozniak-Kay

How do you feel about landmark birthdays? The emerging "new longevity" trend is shaking up the traditional milestones, with 60 being branded the new 40 or 50.

Yes, age is just a number. But gaining diamond status does warrant celebrating. And longevity is NOT just about adding years to your life - it's time to add life to your years.

So I'm delighted to be joined by The Connectress Hela Wozniak-Kay as she shares her rather refreshing take on relishing her sixth decade.

Connect with Hela

https://www.sistersnog.com

https://www.instagram.com/totallyhela

https://www.instagram.com/sistersnog

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hela-wozniak-kay/

https:www.facebook.com/hela.wozniakkay/

https://uk.pinterest.com/sistersnog/snogtowers/

helasspurtle.substack.com

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling it like it really is. Nothing is off limits because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So, welcome to today's episode. How do you feel about landmark birthdays? The emerging new longevity trend is shaking up traditional milestones, with 60 being branded the new 40 or 50. Yes, age is just a number, but gaining diamond status does warrant celebrating. And longevity isn't just about adding years to your life. More importantly, it's about adding life to your years. My guest today has a rather refreshing take on relishing her sixth decade, so I just had to invite her to share it with you all. I'm delighted to welcome Hella Vozniak Kay, the connectress, who's been connecting fabulous businesswomen for over two decades and is the soul of Sister Snog to talk about how to embrace your teenage renaissance. So welcome Hella. It is fabulous to have you here.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Well, it's fabulous to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Well, obviously, you epitomize everything that Midlife Unlimited is all about because you're about connection, you're about joining the dots, you're about celebrating each other and ourselves. Because I said, yeah, age is just a number, but gaining diamond status, our bodies having got us here, that's worth celebrating, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

It 100% is, and I think one of the things I was absolutely determined to do was when I was stepping into my diamond decade, I was going to party. So I kicked off with my first party because I'm a uh a disco diva, and the 70s is is my era, and I love it. And I can, you know, as soon as I hear any of those songs, it's almost like I could I could be singing along with them, whether it's you know, Bacchara or whether you know we love to boogie, whatever it might be. Um, so I kicked off my uh Diamond Decade with a 70s-themed afternoon tea. Obviously, there was a dress code, and um, and and do you know what was brilliant is everyone embraced it totally.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Oh, I love I I was born in 69, but I am definitely everything about the 70s, the fashion, the music, I love it all.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

It's it's brilliant. So I was um I had a massive, like the biggest you could ever imagine, um, and I had to look for it, um, orange afro, and uh and a pair of a pair of orange kinky boots, and uh, and then this nice wonderful psychedelic, you know, almost twiggy-esque, even though I'm not exactly twiggy because I'm a bit um more petite than she was, and and it was just brilliant. Everyone joined in, the food was very 70s, you know, everything were they're volobons, definitely volumes, and uh and a fabulous cake, and and it was just it was wonderful. Um, and then I also because I'm uh a big fan of the marvelous Mrs. Mazel, I during COVID, which I I I watched all the episodes twice, um I have a sort of desire sometimes to be, you know, stepping into the world of stand-up. So I had an event that was called an evening with the wonderful Mrs. Bosniak K talking about everything and anything. And um, you know, everybody kind of glammed up and and I sort of took to the stage and I would pull names out of hats and do sort of you know impromptu improv stories about the people that were there who'd been part of my part of my world in one way or another. So and it was very black tie, you know, it was very glam. So I top and tailed uh stepping into my diamond decade, which um, you know, I've got the photos which will I I look forward to seeing the photos.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

I I I love that because you are all about sharing your story and intertwining it with other people's stories. And I'm delighted later on you're going to be sharing your insights really for celebrating our teenage renaissance. But tell me more about it's such a wonderful phrase. I mean, the Renaissance, we all have images of you know, new birth, new discoveries. Yep. Is that part of what you think teenage renaissance is all about?

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Well, I do. Um, I mean, I think the thing is once you get to a certain stage, um, you know, my daughter's 25 this month, you know, so I I'm you know, I don't have to do the what am I doing in the school holidays and how to plan all those things. You know, I've recently part of teenage renaissance is is being a bit of a traveller and and you know seeking adventure. And I had a crazy phone call with someone who lives in Scotland who actually said, Do you fancy moving to Scotland? And within six weeks, having gone, well, why not? Um, here I am. I've been here now, you know, moved just before Christmas. So I've got a new adventure, which is discovering. I mean, it is a new country and it's got tradition and it's it's very artisan, it's very crafty, wonderful flora, fauna, the wilderness. You know, I I can kind of feel myself, you know, designing my own tartan at some stage. Oh, that has that has to be done. That's gotta be done, that really has to be done. And I'm I've also decided to keep a digital diary of my adventures. So I'm starting um with the village where I live and I'm interviewing some of the local shopkeepers and and the local businesses from Millie's Flowers to Sour Joe's, which is a very small micro business. Um, and then I shall be, you know, as I get to the highlands, all the various places I'm discovering because I thought I've got to keep a diary, and I'm calling it Hella's Substack. Uh, sorry, Hella Spurtle on Substack. And the reason is because a Spurtle is a strange kind of wooden um stirring implement that looks like a giant kind of knitting needle, and it's used to stir porridge. Um and I'm also going to enter the World Porridge Championship, which is in October.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

What does that entail? Because I know you've you've been getting creative with oats, haven't you? You said you've been creative with oats.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Well, it is basically there are two aspects to it. There's one where you've got to create porridge, which is oats, salt, and water. So I'm not for one minute thinking that I'm going to win that one, but then you can create your own recipes. And I've started foraging, I've recently discovered wild garlic. We've got rhubarb just in the garden. So I made jam for the first time.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

So it's oh, I love rhubarb. You don't see it enough. You do not see rhubarb and rhubarb, rhubarb or not. And again, it's going back to 70s, it's such a 70, the whole rhubarb and custard, those sweeps and things like that. But it's and 80s as well. It's yeah, having a bit of a a resurgence, I think. Yes, I do like that. But I mean, curiosity, I would have thought, is something that again, yes, what you're all about. And I would have thought that plays a huge part in teenage renaissance as well. I mean, I talk a lot about childlike curiosity, but it makes it a bit more sophisticated if we make it teenage curiosity as well, because there was a line you use that I love, and I'm going to quote it back at you. You're 64 now, but you're 20 with 44 years of wisdom. I just think that's absolutely brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

That is correct. Well, I'll be 64 in September.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Oh, sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Yes, I've had a few months. But yes, this is my, you know, will you still love me when I'm 64? Or is it 65? I can't remember. But yes, when I'm 64, yeah. I think we're gonna have to read you the lyrics. Yes, I am going to have to um uh study those. And I think I've always been curious, but I think sometimes you get caught up in what you're doing, the the the kind of well, there's there's a sort of pressure if you're running your own business, you know, where are you going to be on that success level? What does success mean? And I I think that you you have a certain understanding because you've been through so many things, you've gone through so many scrapes, and you're still here. So it's almost like the teenage renaissance years, you've got this weird, wonderful coat of armor because it's like, yes, I will jump off the cliff because the net always does appear, which is something that Julia Cameron talks about in The Artist's Way, which is a book that kind of set me off on being the mistress of my own destiny and thinking I don't want to work for a another, I want to create something of my own. And and I've kept young by the people that I'm meeting, whether they're in their 20s or their 70s, I feel that I attract people with that youthfulness, you know, and and that's what stepping into your diamond decade, you know, it is about being youthful again, and providing you know you're you're well, and and there's a a great resurgence of wellness and looking after ourselves, yeah. And I love that, you know, because I think that's really important, you know. So I haven't started yet, but on my bucket list, my Scottish list is to um to learn Scottish dancing. Oh, with swords, or is that a separate? Well, I don't think so. I'm not sure about swords. Mind your toes. Mind your toes. Well, I haven't I haven't started, but I found that there is um a class on a Wednesday evening in Perth in a church hall, and who knows who I'll meet? A whole bunch of people who just want to dance, keep fit.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

There are different ways to keep fit, absolutely, because you just used one of my favorite words, and I think it's three letters and so powerful. And when I work with women who are like, I can't, I can't, you just add it yet, because it turns a negative into a wonderful possibility. Yes, I I can't do it right now, but just add the yet, and then you start thinking, don't you? Okay, what do I need to do to enable it to happen? Yeah, to happen. And immediately it's like, oh yes, actually, I could do this, or as you know, not well, well, yes, work with or connect with you, because the way you connect those dots, and I love the common thread, you're absolutely right. The women, age really is just a number with the women in your world because it's more about the common thread of collaboration, cheerleading, joining the dots, and a zest for life, and that's one of the many things I love about you.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah, I'm an and I think the thing is without sort of you know dwelling on a on a sad note, but I have two friends that I've known who passed away recently, who were in their 50s, and I still can't believe they're not here because they almost are. I mean, I I feel I'm talking to them, you know, I kind of feel that they are here, and I'm going to go to London on Tuesday for um, it's it's actually the day, the birthday of one of them, and a whole group of well, basically sisters who, you know, that's where I met her. Oh, you know, nearly 20 years ago, and she was very much part of it. And I think all of us can't believe it. So we're celebrating her life, her birthday next Tuesday. And you know, it it it will be there will be a few sad moments, but I think we're all going to have a bit of a memory lane, and and I think it's really important to think about the friends that you've got, you know, don't not get in touch with them. I'm trying to get in touch with one person a day, whether it's a WhatsApp or a call or an email or send a little card. When I got married, I had 11 bridesmaids, and you know, I still I'm still in touch with them, you know, after nearly 30, okay, 34 years in July that I've been married. And I when I when we see each other, we kind of dip back to those to those times, you know, and and I think we we all we all touch people's hearts, but don't be hitting your diamond decade and retreating into yourself. Hit your diamond decade and you know, open that that treasure chest because it's there, all those jewels that you've collected over the years, you know, you might not see someone for a year, two years, even 10 years.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

No, you know, absolutely it's epitome, isn't it? It really is. I know it's a well-worn phrase, but it is never too late. And sometimes we can stop ourselves thinking, oh, they won't remember me, or or they, you know, they won't want to get back in touch with me. But how often do we think, oh no, won't we won't bother, we won't bother. No, drop as you say, send a message, reach out. What's the worst that can happen? You don't hear back from them. If you don't hear back from them, fair enough, no, not a problem. There are plenty of other people out there, but it's all about don't go to bed with regrets, thinking, oh, I wish I'd got into have a go, reach out. But one thing as well, when we were talking just now about teenage renaissance, I was thinking before we came on to record this about Kate the teenager, and I know there's a lot of kind of what would you say to your 20-year-old self? Oh, yeah, yeah. What would your 20-year-old self and I won't put you on the spot necessarily, but I find myself now. I mean, I'm 57 in June, so I'm I'm my diamond decade is glowing, and I'm thinking, yay, hey, I'm gonna have a six six pack for 60, that's my aim, one of my many aims. If you saw my mennowli at the moment, you'd be like, good luck, love. But it's a goal, it's a goal, small steps, yeah, literally small steps, one of many. But I I digress as I tend to. But the the teenage Kate, I think she'd be like, bloody hell, Lev. Lev, love, good on you. She'd be looking at me now, going, Yes, my teenage renaissance is going to be pretty wild, I think, because I'm more bodacious and audacious now than I ever was, ever was when I was a teenager. It's crazy, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 15:56

It is it is it's interesting because you know, I know there is a lot of people. What would you say to your teenage self? What I'd say to my teenage self is it's amazing how quickly the years go. It's like, oh, is it May already? Is it Christmas already? Is it Easter already? And I think what's important, and one of the things I do is I love taking photos.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Oh, I do.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Uh you know, I take my phone with me all the time, and one of the things is make sure that you keep a record, keep a memory, keep a snapshot, even if you speak into your phone or remember those days because sometimes when you get a little bit um more mature, you can't always remember certain things, and you need a prompt. And these are the things that if you're having a bad hair day, you can kind of look at them. You know, they always uplift me. You know, I I honestly could be like a photo library, and if someone needs a photo of a bluebell, I've got one, or a or a cake, or or all those wonderful memories that you've had. I mean, I've via Sister Snog, luckily, you know, all the kind of wonderful one-off in-person events that um that that I've hosted over the years, I have photos of them and of those people, and it's really lovely to see the smiles that you brought into people's lives, you know, and life is a weird, it is like a fun fair, you know, it's all those rides rolled into one, and you're not gonna have a total bowl of cherries. And although I I'm kind of into social media as we are, don't think don't be comparing yourself to others and they're perfect because there isn't one, you know, everyone's got something, it doesn't matter who you are.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

And again, it holds you back that. I mean, comparisonitis, I think it's it's it's on a par with procrastination because again, you think you almost you it's so easy to go down that well, what's the point? You know, I'll never be as good as so and so, and that your inner critic will just tell you all these things. It's like, no, I'm gonna give it a go. I'm gonna now you mentioned all your wonderful events, and one thing that always sets, apart from the connections and the laughter and the smiles and the warmth that sets your events apart is the creativity. Because you are a woman with a glue gun and who knows how to use it. Yeah, and anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, we're going to be sharing Hela's contact details later on. Go and check out her wonderful photographs because the creations are mind-blowing, mind-blowing. And creativity, I would have thought that plays a big part in teenage renaissance as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Definitely. And I think if you have something, it wasn't quite the case, you know, when I was in my teenage years, because I, you know, went to a I went to a convent school and then it was university, and what are you going to study? And I was very, as you know, that I'm into dress code. So I thought I'll be a barrister because then I'll go to to work in a wig and a gown. And um, and I did make it to bar school. I failed one paper five times, which was civil and criminal procedure. I just couldn't, I'm just not, my brain doesn't work that way. Having said that, what was interesting, that's where I met my hobby. So everything happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

And um, he's not a barrister either. So but you met well, but we met, you know, so we have that kind of um have that kind of time. But I even when I was at um at school, I would get boxes and empty perfume bottles and fill them with water and a bit of leftover perfume and cover the boxes in Fablon and put bath crystals in, if you remember those.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

And I would sell them at school under the table, if you like. So in a weird sort of way, had I pursued the um, you know, the sticky back plastic on Fablon and creating things, and you know, it may be that I would have not saying that I would have been an heterotic, but that creativity has always been in there. And and I do know of someone who makes who's made an amazing business out of uh wrapping presents, and I always, always, you know, whatever's inside, it doesn't really matter. Each present is is a beautiful gift. So when Sister Snog came about and we had in-person events, my idea was that they all should feel a little bit like a wedding, and although they can have the same format, they always have a theme, you know, whatever it might be. And then the theme was reflected in the the table decorations, you know, which is known as tablescaping now. Who knew? I mean, yeah, I only came across that about a year ago. I'm like tablescaping, I can I love that, yeah, and and there's always a dress code, and the dress code, it's not about glamour and catwalk, it's about interpreting it in your way, so that everybody formed a part of the event, and it was kind of like an immersive immersive interactive event. So if it was lady in red, everybody would turn up in in red, if it was spots and stripes, you know, and that would be reflected through the tables, and there was always like a little, as you get when you go to a wedding, you know, a favor, there'd be a little something wrapped up because I used to love Mr. Ben. Do you remember Mr. Ben? Oh, with Mr. Ben, every time he went to try on whatever he did and went to wherever he went, you know, prehistoric times, he would always come back with a little Memento.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Yeah, he'd always reach in his pocket or something, wouldn't he? As he walked back. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

And my view, and I've always had this view whatever you're doing, whatever business you're in, or if you're having a birthday party, always leave a hint of perfume of on the pillow and a flurry of chiffon in the corridor so that you're kind of remembered. And it's all about memories and moments, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 22:25

It's just so impactful. It's so impactful.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

And and whatever you're doing, think about the emotions. You know, how do you look? How do you sound? You had Joe Joanna on um recently. So I know that she does wonderful retreats, but she also has an amazing nose. Um, and I went to her to say, I'd like you to help me design the essence of sisterliness. So we spent an afternoon together with oils with the sister snog has seven shades of purple that include violet, lilac, amethyst, plum, and she incorporated them into this essence. And uh wonderful! I know the essence of sisterliness is out there, and we've we've taken that. I had one event one Christmas called Heavenly Angels, and everyone had a little tea light that Joanna had poured that was the essence of sisterliness. So, what I'm saying is, you know, think outside your your your lane, you know, be creative. I am quite lateral in in terms of how I approach things, but I think we've all got talents that we don't know about. You've got to release them, release them into the wild.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

You know, I think that's um and as you say, for all the senses as well, don't just think visually, think taste, think smell. Because I can smell those tea lights now. I can smell those tea lights. Now, there's another quote from you that I just thought was absolutely beautiful that epitomizes connection, it epitomizes the sister snog story. You haven't got a sister, but you always wanted a sister. And you say you said you had 11 bridesmaids, and that is the the backstory, really, isn't it? To what your role as the connectress and sister snog is all about, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 24:26

And and I think it's interesting because I my parents came over as a result of the war, and uh, and so I and the and they had me later on in life, so I was this kind of slightly estrangling, and a lot of people well, they used to call me Hello Washernickers, which is a bit of an unfortunate because they couldn't pronounce Bosniak, but I worked really hard to be accepted, and one of the things was to form bonds and to make people I was thinking two things I've always said to Thea, my daughter, which is always say thank you, you know, and it only takes two minutes to write a card or to send a little message or to follow, follow up. Um, and wherever possible, and it's very easy to do, is make people feel special, feel VIP, feel number one. Even if I've met you five days ago, five years ago, have I done something that is just a little bit a little bit extra. There's always a little bit extra that you can give to a relationship, and and I think that's really important. And I really make an effort to do that, and it doesn't it doesn't cost anything, it just takes a little bit of extra thought.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

No, I I love that because it goes it goes way beyond good manners. I think it it just shows, as you say, making someone feel special. I I'm a big fan of giving genuine compliments as well. And I I love I don't think we do it enough, and I I just love that look on a woman's face when you say, God, you look really great today, or just and not not not necessarily a friend. I will do it in Sainsbury's if I see someone, and it's like people just still don't really know how to take it sometimes, do they? It's kind of that kind of is she strange this woman.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Well, it's interesting you say that because as I was moving to to Scotland, we sort of got rid of all sorts of things, you know, and I did sort of go through my wardrobe and think there's a lot of stuff here I really don't need. And I was walking along the the street in Hove and I saw this really cool chick in pink, I mean, literally head to foot in pink, and I stopped and I said, Do you know? I'm moving up to Scotland and I have a lot of pink things that I think you might need or want that I don't want anymore. And we met the following week in the local cafe, and I just brought her this bag of um of pink gear that either was too small or it wasn't I didn't need it anymore, and I'd worn it and you moved on, yeah. I'd moved on because I'm into I buy a lot of my well, I buy like 90% of my clothes in charity shops. There aren't as many that's something else we've got in common. Oh, you're not are you getting withdrawal? Uh slightly getting them. I think I might have to. There are one or two in Perth. There's one really fabulous one, but in in you know, when I was in Brighton, Brighton and Ho, George Street was the equivalent of my Bond Street because there were at least 10 or 12. And I I got so into it. I did I actually did the window dressing for the mine charity shop for a period of time, and it was so it's amazing what you can find, and that's about being original. You know, we talk about the authentic you. I'm a bit allergic to the word authentic. I like the real raw, yeah, the real raw you go out and go to charity shops, you know. And I will, I'll I'll I'm sure there's loads as I start to discover. I know that Edinburgh's got some and Glasgow will have them, and I just need a bit of a day, so it's not on my doorstep, but on my doorstep now I've got a little wood with squirrels and birds.

SPEAKER_02 28:15

I said it remind me of some kind of Disney princess out there calling for the birds.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

I think I'm not sure I'm quite princess, maybe more of a dame. Um well, yeah, nothing like it. There's nothing like nothing like even if it's uh even if it's a panto dame.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

Why not? Why not?

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Oh no, it isn't.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Oh, yes, it is. So for those listeners that don't, they keep saying, what is this sister snog that they're talking about? Firstly, and I've never actually asked you this, how did the name come about? Because it is once you've heard it, you can't forget it.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

No, well, it's uh many, many moons ago, so it's over 20 years ago that I um I started a business, and it was with someone who was a client, and we went into business and needed a name, and we brainstormed X, Y, and Z. And he actually came up with the name via someone else, and we were called Snob the Agency because we were going to be a booty marketing agency, however, that relationship didn't pan out as well as it could have, and we parted ways. Um, it is almost like don't marry the first person that asked you, or don't ask someone to marry you, which I did with him, and um, but then that's when Annie came on board. So Annie and I ran this boutique branding consultancy, and we decided one day to we said, wouldn't it be nice to be ladies at lunch? And this is before Facebook, so the networking scene, you know, there was BNI, BRE, Chamber, there was a smaller offering. So we had a lunch and we invited two clients, two prospects. They were we were all women. We had it was in 2002, and we said, That was great. Why don't we do it once a month on the first Friday of the month and see who see who comes? And if nobody comes, it doesn't matter because we can look back.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

You're still there together, yeah, absolutely. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

So we sort of put that in the diary, and then it was quite interesting. What was great is that Annie is very good on the data side, she's more left-brained than me, so she would keep all the all the names and addresses. Always useful, yeah. Always useful, as you do, and each month we didn't actually know who was turning up, but one person would tell another person who would tell another person, and it just started to grow. And that Christmas we hired the whole restaurant, and that's when we had the first dress code. We said, let's let's get everyone wearing silver and purple, and then the next, then it was 2003, and we thought there's something in this because it was getting bigger and bigger, and then we also thought we need to give it a name. What is this that we've created as if by magic? As if we it was like a little miniature snowball that was getting bigger, and then Annie just said, Why don't we call it Sister Snog? And it was like, Ooh, really, to a lot of people, you can't call we we called it networking with a twist. You can't call it Sister Snog because everything was called something, something network. And our argument was, well, Richard Branson did call his company Virgin, and it had the same, it had the same kind of raised eyebrows. And our view was we are gonna create something that's marmite, it's not for everybody, and and I think we should all be marmite because you need to leash and appeal to who you want to, and those that you don't, great, they can go to the competition.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

So I'm with you, I'm with you. Literally, if you don't like me, absolutely fine. I'm not gonna try, I'm not gonna dilute myself to make myself more appealing to the masses. You either get me or you don't. You either want to work with me or go out with me, dance with me, whatever. You know, if you do, brilliant. But if not, I'm not gonna be upset about it. You're not gonna hurt my feelings.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

And I think that's my view of teenage renaissance in my 60s, is that you know, going back to when I was a young thing, wanting to be accepted, trying overly hard, you know, overly much. And quite often I I would have two friends in me. You know, there was a there was that sort of girls quite often get into that triumvirate, don't they? And the other two are the besties. But actually, as time went on, I realized I don't actually want a best friend, I just want to be the best friend to whoever is on my beam, and and I have now some beautiful relationships. You know, some I've got a friend of mine that I um saw just before we left, just before we left Hove, and she came down, and we we've known each other 50 years.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

I met up with my son's godmum the other day. We we see each other as much as we can. Yeah, that's over 50 years. We met at primary school.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

I mean, that's just kind of bonkers, but it's beautiful because they know you, warts and all. You know, do I have a public persona and a private persona? I guess we kind of all do, but I would like to think if someone goes to my LinkedIn profile and looks at you know the recommendations that I've received and then they meet me, it's the same. And and I'm also very much into on that subject, you know, making people feel special, writing a recommendation. I don't think we don't do it enough. I mean, I'm on a on a mission to equal the ones I've received and the ones that I've given, but I think you know that makes someone someone's day. No, just and you do it out of the blue because you've had that's such a lovely idea.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

I think that's such a lovely idea because it takes, as you say, you mentioned the thank you notes and little thank you messages, yeah. And the idea of recommendation, come on, listeners. I think this is a lovely. Let's all go when you finish listening today. Let's think one person, one person, yeah. But we can do a little recommendation just saying how blinking fabulous they are. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

I love that and share a bit of you know the story. I always sort of think, not that I meditate over people, but I just sort of think what is it about them that is that kind of little essence that that's that's raw and real. And I love those words. Yeah, you know, I I like writing, that's one of the things that I really like doing. So if there's something that you like and that you love, you know, I think I stopped writing for quite a while, even just posting the post, you know, I think you've got a real signature writing.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

I mean, as a journalist, I love your writing style, and uh, I know it's something you're keen to explore more. So I mean, I know we we're gonna we're gonna be sharing your contact details later on, but please tell Path because it's it's a kind of a new adventure that's part of your teenage renaissance, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 35:27

It is, yeah. No, it is, and and I think I'm also discovering things that maybe have been a bit latent and need to come out. I will get on the video because I really should be speaking more, you know. Get over yourself if there are certain things, you know, there's no excuse. And one of the things that I'm getting over is I'm a recovering perfectionist because sometimes I take far too long to do.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

I am the queen, I am the queen of perfect imperfection now. I'm just like, just do it, just do it. That's why I love doing the lives, the videos, the whole podcast. I mean, this we're talking now. Chances are all when I say I edit it myself, I literally, it's a sound thing. It's I very rarely remove anything unless it's me and I've made an absolute and then I just pause and resay it. But I'm all about raw, like you said, raw and real. I am like you. If you all the stuff I've got out there on social media, if you bumped into me in Tesco's, you'd be like, blinking hell, Kate, you're exactly you look exactly the same, you sound exactly the same, you are you are the or at a networking event when I'm all doled up, whichever way I have my lipstick on wherever you see me, probably.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

You both have the lipstick, yes, which is your trademark.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

But I put it on for me, I feel pressed with it. If I I don't put it on to put the bins out, but but I do put the bins out with it on, if that makes sense. Yes, no, exactly. Yeah, I pick up the dog poo with my lipstick on.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

No, I think it's great to have a trademark and that people can kind of associate with you because it's a busy old world out there. And how do you stand out? You stand out by being more you, and if there are bits that cause you a little bit of a wobble or make you a bit, you know, oh, I can't, you can. You can if you want to, that whole sort of self-belief, you know. And I know people talk about imposter syndrome, but I think we propagate it a lot by you know not being worthy. We're worthy of whatever we feel that we are worthy of. It's quite good to push yourself a little bit outside your comfort zone because once you do, then the next comfort zone, there's a there's another level to it. I mean, one of my comfort zones is for years my hubby has said, shall we get bikes? I'm like, no, because I'm a bit nervous.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

And since I'm not a fan of bikes, I I fell off when I was younger and I've never really got back on it.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

I get that. I and but I've where I am now, I need to be on a bike to discover some of it. So it probably will be one of the electric ones that I don't have to get off and push it up the hill. Because I'm not I'm not going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

Well, you've got to make it enjoyable because if it's too difficult, you're not going to do it. You're not gonna be like, Oh, that was a real but if it's if it's fun with a little bit of pushing yourself, you you're going out of that comfort zone. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

I I am going to do that, and I've upped my walking. So, because there are so many walks. On on Saturday, we went on this beautiful walk, and and it was all uh it was all an adventure. And as I turned the corner in this kind of field wood place, I was greeted by a carpet of bluebells that took my breath away. I mean, it was just like I'm really, really my new best friend is Mother Nature. That's that's my that's my new sister, my new best friend, my new she is the ultimate businesswoman because she constantly creates such such beauty and wonder. And I think also, you know, you don't have to spend a lot of money to enjoy the later years. Get back to some of those basics that that are beautiful. You know, I've started making biscuits which I never made before, you know. I love all this.

SPEAKER_02 39:14

Well, do you know what? I'm I'm realizing as we're talking. Obviously, you are the connectress. We're talking about celebrating. I say, my my diamond era is looming and I can't wait. You're loving yours, and it seems that there are lots of C-words, not the C-word listeners, but we've got connection, we've got creativity, we've got curiosity, we've got comfort zones. I'm loving this. Your top tips are all coming together. It's as if we planned it.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Yeah, conversation, yeah, conversation commitment. The other thing is if you say you're going to do something, do it. You know, people who blow people out for whatever, you know. I always know if I've arranged something with someone I don't really know and it's a blowout. You know, I always have three strikes and you're out. Something can happen, won't.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

Yeah, sometimes sometimes it is, you know. I've I've I'm I won't use the word guilty, but I've had to like if I need to go see my dad or whatever, I have to reschedule. But as long as you try, but things do happen, but I know what you mean. You you can sense, can't you?

SPEAKER_00 40:14

You can sense that something is and see, you know, yes, um, celebration that is a cheerleading, cheerleading, championing, uh collaborating. You know, that's something that I really like to do. We haven't mentioned that, we haven't mentioned your fab collab either. Fab collab, yes. The the the the book that was written. I've just finished. Well, it was just last year, was a wonderful collab with uh Marie Louise, where we've created the journal of sisterliness, and she took my um shoe woo-hoos made by my glue gun, and she has created digital versions. She's a very, very, very um smart, clever, and we got into I was the word, she was the the kind of the visual, but together she helped me with the words. I helped her with, oh, I think that should be a bit more like this. And you know, that's that's something that I'm really proud of that we created. And uh, we've got like a mini version, a hardback version, you know, because I like we all like journaling, writing, taking notes.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Absolutely, absolutely. Oh, this is so right. Oh well, all your details. We'll have to make sure that the link for that as well are in the show notes and on your guest profile, and we'll be talking more, but we'll explain to listeners how they can get in touch. But I think I'm gonna keep coming up with more C's, but in the meantime, I think it's time to ask. I and I want to know are we gonna get a bit 70s here? The same three questions that I ask each of my fabulous guests. I was gonna say female, they're not all female. We've had one male, and there are more listeners, there are more males on the way. So, watch this space. Your first question is what is your midlife anthem?

SPEAKER_00 41:56

Well, my midlife anthem is get the party started. Uh, and it's the Shirley Bassey version. And you know, if you look, if you Google it and if you haven't seen it, where have you been? But um, the video is uh absolutely, totally and utterly that's how I how I see get the party started. You know, if I'm coming along, whether I'm coming for a cup of tea or we're going out for the night or going away, everything should feel have a little bit of a party element to it. Sequins with everything, sequins and short bread. Yeah, sequins and short bread could be your next little thing. Yeah, I I I have um I have way, way back, I did um when Thea was little and she had to take some stuff to school, we made butterfly biscuits with edible glitter, and um, so maybe I need to get into that. So I actually used that anthem because for the party that I had, the wonderful Mrs. Bosniak K, as everybody was masked, everyone had a mask that they put on, and then the music started, and I walked in to that to say get this party started. And what I love, there are some of the lines in it, which is pull up the bumper, get out the car. The license plate says you're the number one superstar. Well, we all need to believe that we are our own superstar, and whatever way that you do it, and it does also interesting the lyrics, it's making my connection as I enter the room, everybody's chill as I set up the groove, you know, and I'll be your connection to the party line. So the lyrics, the whole thing that was my inspiration. And I used to be singing it, you know, while I was I've got it in my head now, but I love that line.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

That if we don't think we're a superstar, if we don't tell ourselves we're a superstar, no one else is going to. No. So let's let's start it here. Let's get our own party started. Oh well, I'm all fired up. I'm I'm I want some sparkle. I need some sparkle. Does your midlife mantra have any sparkle in it? I'm sure it does.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

Well, it doesn't actually have sparkle in it, but it it kind of does, in that um, when I was getting married, I had to have, because I'm Polish Catholic, instruction from the priest, and the priest was the coolest dude ever. He looked like Elvis, and um, he was more of a businessman than a priest. And we didn't really talk about you know the ins and outs of marriage, but he said, I just want you both to remember that anything is possible, and that is what I always believe. You know, I have I still have this vision that one day Netflix is gonna knock on the door and want to make you know a drama about sister snog and women's kind of tron.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

You never know, you never know who's listening. Let's pitch it, let's pitch it. We're gonna be doing our video podcast as well. Come on, Netflix, come and find Hella.

SPEAKER_00 45:04

Oh well, I always I always ask people as well, um, when that happens, because I like to say when who would play you? So I'm going to leave you with that thought as who would be playing you, because I've got Helen Mirren playing me. Um maybe as the um maybe as the I don't know whether it'll be me, she she might just be the the the author of whatever's happening. What do you call them? I've lost my train of thought. The narrator, the narrator, exactly, like in Call the Midwife, you know. Yeah, yes, yes, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

That's that's a red red grave, isn't it? I'm thinking obviously, you know, Devil Wears Prada 2 has just come out. I love Merrill, I love Mama Me. Yes, I think I think we both got the the funky grey hair or Emma Thompson.

SPEAKER_00 45:52

I adore Emma Thompson, and I think I thought, yeah, yeah, I think to interview them both and then make a decision.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

I think we'd have an amazing conversation. Both of us, the three of us, my golly gosh, you'd never that would be it. No, yeah, and Zoe Ball, she's not an I mean, I love her as well. The four of us together, what a conversation. Hella, obviously, you'd be invited as well.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

Thank you. I would appreciate that. And we can invite Helen Murray as well. Yep, sick. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

Table for six, please. Please, excellent. Oh, right. Well, but we'll make a date in the diary for that, ladies. If you're listening, get in touch. All our contact details are below. Um, right, before I let we go into contact details, though, autobiography. Obviously, you've you've written, you've got so many wonderful books out there and in the pipeline. But the title of your autobiography, what would that be? What will that be?

SPEAKER_00 46:47

It um it is um I wish I had a sister. That that's it. So it's not just about Sister Snog, it's about, you know, from primary school. Each decade I've met so many wonderful women that I want to celebrate. We've had many, many, you know, jolly jates, you know, moments of mischief. Imagine that moments. How did we get out of it? Gosh, yes. So somehow I need to weave them in because there might be someone who was there in the in the first 10 years or the second 10 years who something else has happened, you know. So I've I've made a list of a whole set of you know wonderful occasions that I've shared. Um, I just hope I don't miss anyone out. But I I will indulge.

SPEAKER_02 47:36

Well again, again, anyone out there listening that thinks, come on, Hello, we haven't spoken in ages. Yes, get back in touch, right? How can they reconnect and connect with the connectress? Do you see what I did there?

SPEAKER_00 47:49

Well, obviously, I'm on I'm not the biggest Facebook user, but you know, Messenger. I've had a couple of messages there. I'm I will up the volume a bit on that. I am at the moment, you know, Mrs. LinkedIn and I'm on Instagram as Totally Hela Um and the Sister Snog. And if they want to keep up with my Scottish shenanigans, it's Hella Spurtle on Substack. And on the website, sistersnog.com, you know, the there are little forms that you can fill out to start the conversation. And my telephone number is there. So I like to call Tuesday Telephone Tuesday, and I'd love it if everybody rang one person, even if it's out of the blue, it sounds a little bit intrusive. You just go, is this a good moment? And if it's not, then you make another good moment. And if it is, you could have 20 minutes of I just called to say hello. Nothing more, nothing less. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

I love that. Well, uh, what do you think of today's episode? I forgot. I'm so excited about the thought of calling people as well. I'd love your feedback on our conversation because it's been jam-packed with insights, tips, connecting ideas. So it'd be fabulous if you could leave a review. Please leave a review. I'm not begging, I'm just saying because it helps potential listeners find it, it helps the algorithm, and we've got to give that algorithm a bit of a kick. So you could also email me or text me via the link in the show notes. Come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast Facebook group. Again, the links in the show notes where you'll find the website link to where Hella's profile is, and you can find out more about me, connect with me, and find out how you can work with me one-to-one, and you can join more M-O-R-E exclamation mark, which is my award-winning all-in-one programme. It's eight weeks of fabulousness where we're going to be adding more life to your years. I'm pointing at the camera, and I don't know why. I'm getting so excited. So, thank you for joining me, Hella. It's been an absolute dream of an episode. I've loved it. Thank you for listening. I look forward to tuning in next week because don't forget Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living Midlife Unlimited. Thanks, Hella. It's been brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 50:15

It's been lovely. I've really enjoyed it. Thank you very much indeed.

SPEAKER_02 50:18

Thanks. Bye.