Episode 29. Christmas Coverage

Robert Sallander gives a very special reading of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas… with an insurance twist. See what happens when Santa deals damage to the roof and gets served by an elfen attorney.

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Transcript

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was

stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled,

all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums dance in their heads.

And Mama, in her kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a

long winter's nap. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like

a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of

the new -fallen snow gave the luster of midday to objects below. When?

What to my wondering eyes should appear? But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny

reindeer. With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they

came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen,

on Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen, to the top of the porch,

to the top of the wall. Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly when they meet with an obstacle

mount to the sky, so up to the housetop the coursers they flew,

with a sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too, and Then,

in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pine of each little hoof.

As Christmas Day dawned and the children all woke, I discovered that shingles on the

roof had got broke.

Those eight tiny reindeer and their driver, old Nick, caused physical injury to

tangible property including water intrusion and made us all sick.

I called up my lawyer and said, "Come over quick." His eyes how they twinkled,

his dimples how merry, his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry,

his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as

white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a

little round belly that shook when he laughed, like a ball full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him,

in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to

dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and filled out the

pleadings, then turned with a jerk and laying his finger aside of his nose and

giving a nod to the courthouse he goes. But I heard him exclaim,

or he drove out of sight. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Santa was served. He to his insurer did tender, and they sent to their lawyer an

opinion to render.

No coverage, she said, and no defense to afford. Exclusions apply.

And she thought she had scored. You see, coverage counsel forgot in her zeal to

deny that insurers want opinions on which to rely.

The judge said, you're wrong, and coverage you owe. So let's to the jury to fix

damages we go. The case took a year and then in the end the insurer paid the

price for the roof to get menned and the cost incurred for Santa to defend.

There were the lawyers all snug in their beds while visions of lawsuits danced in

their heads, and to air the next suit that comes into sight,

merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.