{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":2.4,"endTime":5.28,"body":"Hi everyone, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":2.4,"endTime":5.28,"body":"welcome to the music of Life."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":5.4,"endTime":9.18,"body":"I'm your host. Karen Portnoy,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":5.4,"endTime":9.18,"body":"before I get into this episode,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":9.18,"endTime":13.38,"body":"please comment, ask questions,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":9.18,"endTime":13.38,"body":"share some of your experiences,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":13.44,"endTime":15.06,"body":"and don't forget to subscribe."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":13.44,"endTime":15.06,"body":"You"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":22.88,"endTime":26.42,"body":"Karen. Hi everyone. It's Karen"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":22.88,"endTime":26.42,"body":"again, and I'm coming to you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":26.42,"endTime":32.3,"body":"live from my brand new master"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":26.42,"endTime":32.3,"body":"bedroom closet, where recording"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":32.3,"endTime":35.54,"body":"in here is going to be so much"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":32.3,"endTime":35.54,"body":"more comfortable than where I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":35.54,"endTime":41.98,"body":"was before, but I'm so excited"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":35.54,"endTime":41.98,"body":"as my last week's message to you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":41.98,"endTime":46.48,"body":"about my move. I was so"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":41.98,"endTime":46.48,"body":"exhausted last week. It was"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":46.54,"endTime":51.7,"body":"really crazy, but I'm so much"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":46.54,"endTime":51.7,"body":"more calm, more excited, more"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":51.7,"endTime":55.84,"body":"happy, more peaceful. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":51.7,"endTime":55.84,"body":"thrilled to be in my new place"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":55.84,"endTime":61.38,"body":"and in a much better environment"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":55.84,"endTime":61.38,"body":"for me, tons of dogs where I am,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":61.38,"endTime":65.4,"body":"tons of people where I am,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":61.38,"endTime":65.4,"body":"people I've met so far have been"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":65.4,"endTime":71.7,"body":"so nice and kind and friendly"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":65.4,"endTime":71.7,"body":"and helpful, and it I'm just in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":71.7,"endTime":74.82,"body":"the best place I can possibly be"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":71.7,"endTime":74.82,"body":"right now, and I'm just thrilled"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":74.82,"endTime":79.44,"body":"about it. So I'm still getting"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":74.82,"endTime":79.44,"body":"settled and situated, and I have"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":79.44,"endTime":83.6,"body":"a few more things left to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":79.44,"endTime":83.6,"body":"unpack, but I'm pretty much all"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":83.66,"endTime":88.94,"body":"unpacked and everything where I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":83.66,"endTime":88.94,"body":"want it to be. My best friend of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":88.94,"endTime":94.52,"body":"46 years came up from Florida to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":88.94,"endTime":94.52,"body":"help me move, and I could never"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":94.52,"endTime":98.78,"body":"have done this without his help."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":94.52,"endTime":98.78,"body":"So I'm eternally grateful to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":98.78,"endTime":104.26,"body":"him, and I'm just thrilled that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":98.78,"endTime":104.26,"body":"we're so in sync. We're so, you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":104.26,"endTime":106.54,"body":"know, I don't know where to put"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":104.26,"endTime":106.54,"body":"something, he knows exactly"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":106.54,"endTime":110.08,"body":"where to put it, or he doesn't"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":106.54,"endTime":110.08,"body":"know, and I know, and we're just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":110.14,"endTime":114.46,"body":"always, always have been so"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":110.14,"endTime":114.46,"body":"vibey with each other. So it's,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":114.46,"endTime":119.62,"body":"it's just been great. And now"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":114.46,"endTime":119.62,"body":"that he has moved to another"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":119.62,"endTime":124.44,"body":"location for the time being, I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":119.62,"endTime":124.44,"body":"on my own for the first day, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":124.5,"endTime":129.54,"body":"I'm just, I'm taking it all in."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":124.5,"endTime":129.54,"body":"I'm just hanging with my dog in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":129.54,"endTime":133.68,"body":"my new place. Have plans with a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":129.54,"endTime":133.68,"body":"friend later on to go see some"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":133.68,"endTime":140.1,"body":"live music. And you know, just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":133.68,"endTime":140.1,"body":"my new life has officially begun"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":140.16,"endTime":144.62,"body":"as of today, and I really just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":140.16,"endTime":144.62,"body":"don't know what else to say"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":144.62,"endTime":148.76,"body":"about it, other than I'm exactly"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":144.62,"endTime":148.76,"body":"where I need to be. Things are"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":148.76,"endTime":152.96,"body":"falling into place for me, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":148.76,"endTime":152.96,"body":"there is no doubt in my mind"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":152.96,"endTime":158.12,"body":"that this has been 1,000%"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":152.96,"endTime":158.12,"body":"orchestrated by God. This has"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":158.12,"endTime":164.32,"body":"been a long time coming, and I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":158.12,"endTime":164.32,"body":"think that all of my prayer, all"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":164.32,"endTime":170.8,"body":"of my manifestations, all of my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":164.32,"endTime":170.8,"body":"positivity and dedication, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":170.86,"endTime":176.02,"body":"all the things that I'm doing to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":170.86,"endTime":176.02,"body":"help propel myself forward in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":176.08,"endTime":180.54,"body":"the best possible way, with the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":176.08,"endTime":180.54,"body":"purest of intentions, the purest"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":180.54,"endTime":186.3,"body":"of heart and connection and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":180.54,"endTime":186.3,"body":"love, and I'm just, I really"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":186.3,"endTime":187.92,"body":"don't know how else to explain"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":186.3,"endTime":187.92,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":198.72,"endTime":203.48,"body":"Anyway, it's it's a beautiful"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":198.72,"endTime":203.48,"body":"day today in New York, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":203.48,"endTime":206.72,"body":"going to get outside, and, like"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":203.48,"endTime":206.72,"body":"I said, we're going to see live"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":206.72,"endTime":210.74,"body":"music tonight, so it'll be"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":206.72,"endTime":210.74,"body":"outdoors, and I'll take my dog"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":210.74,"endTime":214.22,"body":"and like, what's better, you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":210.74,"endTime":214.22,"body":"know, what's better than that?"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":214.88,"endTime":219.68,"body":"And also, already, I'm noticing"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":214.88,"endTime":219.68,"body":"that doors are starting to open"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":219.68,"endTime":224.98,"body":"a little for me, as far as my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":219.68,"endTime":224.98,"body":"business and career, and you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":224.98,"endTime":228.94,"body":"know what I'm trying to build"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":224.98,"endTime":228.94,"body":"for myself, doors are starting"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":228.94,"endTime":233.8,"body":"to open, and I knew it would. I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":228.94,"endTime":233.8,"body":"didn't know that it would. It"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":233.8,"endTime":239.14,"body":"would take so little time once I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":233.8,"endTime":239.14,"body":"changed environments that you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":239.14,"endTime":243.96,"body":"know, I would start to see"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":239.14,"endTime":243.96,"body":"opportunities come my way. And I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":243.96,"endTime":247.68,"body":"think that this is just the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":243.96,"endTime":247.68,"body":"beginning. I have some other"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":247.68,"endTime":250.74,"body":"things lined up in the next"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":247.68,"endTime":250.74,"body":"couple of months that I'm super"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":250.74,"endTime":255.06,"body":"excited about, and I truly"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":250.74,"endTime":255.06,"body":"believe that by the end of this"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":255.06,"endTime":259.14,"body":"year, I might not recognize"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":255.06,"endTime":259.14,"body":"myself. So, you know, very"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":259.14,"endTime":262.52,"body":"excited about that. And you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":259.14,"endTime":262.52,"body":"know, as much as I would love to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":262.52,"endTime":266.24,"body":"talk about it right now, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":262.52,"endTime":266.24,"body":"going to, because I don't want"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":266.24,"endTime":270.56,"body":"to jinx myself, first of all,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":266.24,"endTime":270.56,"body":"and second of all, I've, I've"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":270.56,"endTime":275.42,"body":"sort of been guided to not say"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":270.56,"endTime":275.42,"body":"anything just yet. I just would,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":275.42,"endTime":281.32,"body":"would rather the success that I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":275.42,"endTime":281.32,"body":"have and the results that I get,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":281.98,"endTime":285.7,"body":"I would rather that speak for"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":281.98,"endTime":285.7,"body":"itself. So whatever is coming in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":285.7,"endTime":289.54,"body":"the next few months, I'll let"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":285.7,"endTime":289.54,"body":"you know more about it when it's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":289.54,"endTime":293.2,"body":"time to talk about it. But for"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":289.54,"endTime":293.2,"body":"now, I'm just gonna keep it"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":293.2,"endTime":297.76,"body":"under wraps and put my nose to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":293.2,"endTime":297.76,"body":"the grind to make sure that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":297.82,"endTime":303.42,"body":"everything that I want to happen"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":297.82,"endTime":303.42,"body":"is. Is going to happen and and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":303.42,"endTime":306.84,"body":"I'm happy to talk about it at a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":303.42,"endTime":306.84,"body":"later date, and I promise I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":306.84,"endTime":307.14,"body":"will."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":317.28,"endTime":320.6,"body":"You know, it's funny when, when"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":317.28,"endTime":320.6,"body":"you know that you're changing"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":320.6,"endTime":324.08,"body":"locations and environments, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":320.6,"endTime":324.08,"body":"you're ready to take the next"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":324.08,"endTime":328.28,"body":"step to a new chapter of your"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":324.08,"endTime":328.28,"body":"life. And you know, I thought"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":328.28,"endTime":332.06,"body":"about this so much as I was"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":328.28,"endTime":332.06,"body":"packing and as I'm sitting in my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":332.06,"endTime":336.14,"body":"closet right now looking around"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":332.06,"endTime":336.14,"body":"at all of my things. You know, I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":336.14,"endTime":340.16,"body":"have a ton of space that I can't"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":336.14,"endTime":340.16,"body":"even imagine ever filling up,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":340.16,"endTime":344.5,"body":"but at the same time, you know,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":340.16,"endTime":344.5,"body":"I look at my clothing and my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":344.5,"endTime":350.2,"body":"shoes and my bags and everything"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":344.5,"endTime":350.2,"body":"that I I took and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":350.2,"endTime":354.22,"body":"it's all my old life. And I, you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":350.2,"endTime":354.22,"body":"know, I look at some things and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":354.22,"endTime":357.94,"body":"I'm like, I don't know that I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":354.22,"endTime":357.94,"body":"want to wear this in in the new"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":357.94,"endTime":363.06,"body":"chapter. So I sort of imagine"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":357.94,"endTime":363.06,"body":"that I will change over my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":363.06,"endTime":367.98,"body":"entire wardrobe in in time. A"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":363.06,"endTime":367.98,"body":"couple of things are new, and a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":367.98,"endTime":371.1,"body":"couple of things I've I've"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":367.98,"endTime":371.1,"body":"enjoyed wearing, but, you know,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":371.1,"endTime":375.6,"body":"it's like I couldn't just throw"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":371.1,"endTime":375.6,"body":"out or give away my entire"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":375.6,"endTime":379.08,"body":"wardrobe. So little by little,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":375.6,"endTime":379.08,"body":"I'll start to replace things,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":379.08,"endTime":383.48,"body":"and, you know, maybe change my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":379.08,"endTime":383.48,"body":"style somewhat and see what I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":383.48,"endTime":387.5,"body":"like, and I'm looking forward to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":383.48,"endTime":387.5,"body":"that. I get a lot of flack for"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":387.5,"endTime":392.54,"body":"the fact that I wear a lot of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":387.5,"endTime":392.54,"body":"black clothing. I feel like much"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":392.54,"endTime":397.52,"body":"of my marriage and much of my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":392.54,"endTime":397.52,"body":"life in my divorce and beyond,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":397.82,"endTime":401.44,"body":"there's a lot of black in my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":397.82,"endTime":401.44,"body":"wardrobe. Yes, it's a New York"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":401.44,"endTime":404.74,"body":"thing. I'm, I'm very well aware"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":401.44,"endTime":404.74,"body":"of that, but it's, it's also a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":404.74,"endTime":409.0,"body":"Karen thing, and I'm trying to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":404.74,"endTime":409.0,"body":"change that, because I like"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":409.0,"endTime":413.08,"body":"colors, and I like colors on me"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":409.0,"endTime":413.08,"body":"in certain colors more than"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":413.08,"endTime":418.54,"body":"others. So you know, as my mood"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":413.08,"endTime":418.54,"body":"and my attitude and my mindset"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":418.54,"endTime":422.88,"body":"changes, I want my clothing to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":418.54,"endTime":422.88,"body":"reflect that as well, and it's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":422.88,"endTime":425.16,"body":"interesting to see that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":422.88,"endTime":425.16,"body":"evolution."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":435.36,"endTime":438.36,"body":"My friend who was helping me"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":435.36,"endTime":438.36,"body":"move, you know, we were going"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":438.36,"endTime":441.98,"body":"through some of my makeup, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":438.36,"endTime":441.98,"body":"he was like, Are you wearing any"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":441.98,"endTime":444.74,"body":"of this? And I was like, you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":441.98,"endTime":444.74,"body":"know, I really don't wear a lot"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":444.74,"endTime":449.78,"body":"of makeup, and I haven't in a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":444.74,"endTime":449.78,"body":"long time. So he's like, Well,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":449.78,"endTime":453.98,"body":"maybe you should start again,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":449.78,"endTime":453.98,"body":"and maybe I will. I just, I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":453.98,"endTime":457.34,"body":"not feeling it right this"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":453.98,"endTime":457.34,"body":"second, but as more"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":457.7,"endTime":463.48,"body":"opportunities open and there's a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":457.7,"endTime":463.48,"body":"need for me to be more made up"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":463.48,"endTime":466.9,"body":"or more put together than I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":463.48,"endTime":466.9,"body":"already am. I, you know, I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":466.96,"endTime":472.0,"body":"curious to see how that evolves"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":466.96,"endTime":472.0,"body":"also, but I'm, I would say, in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":472.0,"endTime":477.76,"body":"the last five years or so, I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":472.0,"endTime":477.76,"body":"really don't wear a lot, so I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":477.76,"endTime":481.98,"body":"curious to see how that changes,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":477.76,"endTime":481.98,"body":"and if I do wear more makeup in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":481.98,"endTime":486.66,"body":"the future, it's just really"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":481.98,"endTime":486.66,"body":"interesting. The whole concept"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":486.66,"endTime":492.24,"body":"of transformation and growth and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":486.66,"endTime":492.24,"body":"evolution and moving ahead and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":492.24,"endTime":497.82,"body":"moving on, just the whole idea"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":492.24,"endTime":497.82,"body":"of it is just, I don't know. I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":497.82,"endTime":502.46,"body":"think a lot of us get very"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":497.82,"endTime":502.46,"body":"complacent in our lives in terms"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":502.46,"endTime":506.6,"body":"of the clothes we wear, the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":502.46,"endTime":506.6,"body":"shoes we wear, the makeup we"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":506.84,"endTime":510.38,"body":"wear, or don't wear, or"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":506.84,"endTime":510.38,"body":"whatever. I think it's it's like"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":510.68,"endTime":514.64,"body":"we kind of just get used to a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":510.68,"endTime":514.64,"body":"certain way of being and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":514.64,"endTime":518.48,"body":"presenting ourselves and and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":514.64,"endTime":518.48,"body":"then it's like, when do we"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":518.54,"endTime":525.82,"body":"actually shed a certain skin and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":518.54,"endTime":525.82,"body":"evolve as someone new and and I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":525.82,"endTime":530.62,"body":"think this whole process of my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":525.82,"endTime":530.62,"body":"divorce has really shown me how"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":530.62,"endTime":534.1,"body":"much I've transformed and how"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":530.62,"endTime":534.1,"body":"much I've grown and how much"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":534.1,"endTime":538.66,"body":"I've evolved. It's it's a very"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":534.1,"endTime":538.66,"body":"exciting I mean, it's very"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":538.66,"endTime":541.68,"body":"painful in the moment, but it's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":538.66,"endTime":541.68,"body":"very exciting when you come out"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":541.68,"endTime":546.06,"body":"on the other side of it and and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":541.68,"endTime":546.06,"body":"you're very open to change and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":546.06,"endTime":551.52,"body":"open to new adventures and and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":546.06,"endTime":551.52,"body":"excitement and and just to see,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":551.52,"endTime":557.94,"body":"I'm very much open right now."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":551.52,"endTime":557.94,"body":"I'm curious and interested, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":557.94,"endTime":561.8,"body":"I'm just, you know, I'm just in"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":557.94,"endTime":561.8,"body":"my flow at this very moment,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":561.8,"endTime":566.66,"body":"very much in in the flow of,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":561.8,"endTime":566.66,"body":"okay, what's coming next, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":566.66,"endTime":570.5,"body":"that's where I'm going to be."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":566.66,"endTime":570.5,"body":"I'm not saying no to things. I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":570.5,"endTime":576.32,"body":"I'm wide open. So I love that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":570.5,"endTime":576.32,"body":"definitely in my era still of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":576.32,"endTime":580.78,"body":"not saying no to things, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":576.32,"endTime":580.78,"body":"I, you know, carefully not"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":580.78,"endTime":583.48,"body":"saying, No, I'm not just going"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":580.78,"endTime":583.48,"body":"to be reckless and careless"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":583.48,"endTime":587.86,"body":"about things, but as things"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":583.48,"endTime":587.86,"body":"approach me, and opportunities"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":587.86,"endTime":592.12,"body":"or whatever, I just feel very"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":587.86,"endTime":592.12,"body":"much, you know, I'm not looking"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":592.12,"endTime":595.66,"body":"to play it safe right now. I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":592.12,"endTime":595.66,"body":"still looking to play it smart,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":595.66,"endTime":600.18,"body":"just I'm open to new"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":595.66,"endTime":600.18,"body":"opportunities. I. It's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":608.22,"endTime":612.54,"body":"also very interesting to me that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":608.22,"endTime":612.54,"body":"you know this change, this move,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":612.54,"endTime":617.4,"body":"this new part of my life is"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":612.54,"endTime":617.4,"body":"happening at the beginning of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":617.4,"endTime":621.14,"body":"the summer. It's a time to be"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":617.4,"endTime":621.14,"body":"outside, to be active, to be"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":621.98,"endTime":626.36,"body":"adventurous, and and all of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":621.98,"endTime":626.36,"body":"those things. And, you know, had"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":626.36,"endTime":629.3,"body":"it been the winter time, first"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":626.36,"endTime":629.3,"body":"of all, my move would have been"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":629.36,"endTime":634.04,"body":"so much harder. But, you know,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":629.36,"endTime":634.04,"body":"winter is the time to kind of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":634.04,"endTime":638.54,"body":"hibernate and just kind of hang"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":634.04,"endTime":638.54,"body":"inside and, you know, kind of be"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":638.54,"endTime":643.24,"body":"by yourself. Sometimes I think"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":638.54,"endTime":643.24,"body":"I'm sort of done with my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":643.24,"endTime":650.86,"body":"solitude era. I think it's been"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":643.24,"endTime":650.86,"body":"like a solid 13 months of just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":651.28,"endTime":658.66,"body":"prioritizing solitude and rest"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":651.28,"endTime":658.66,"body":"and recovery and doing so much"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":658.66,"endTime":662.28,"body":"healing work and all of that and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":658.66,"endTime":662.28,"body":"and I definitely feel like I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":662.28,"endTime":667.26,"body":"coming out of that like"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":662.28,"endTime":667.26,"body":"immediately. So I'm happy that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":667.26,"endTime":671.52,"body":"this is all happening in the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":667.26,"endTime":671.52,"body":"summertime, and we'll see how it"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":671.52,"endTime":676.14,"body":"all unfolds. I'm excited for it,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":671.52,"endTime":676.14,"body":"whatever it is, and I'm not"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":676.14,"endTime":679.5,"body":"going too much into the future."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":676.14,"endTime":679.5,"body":"I really just want to think"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":679.5,"endTime":683.18,"body":"about today and tomorrow and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":679.5,"endTime":683.18,"body":"make whatever appointments I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":683.18,"endTime":687.08,"body":"need to make, and do whatever I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":683.18,"endTime":687.08,"body":"need to do and take care of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":687.08,"endTime":691.58,"body":"myself, but at the same time,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":687.08,"endTime":691.58,"body":"I'm very much in my flow in the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":691.58,"endTime":696.02,"body":"moment. So it's funny last"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":691.58,"endTime":696.02,"body":"night, my friend was kind of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":696.44,"endTime":700.12,"body":"dumping things out on my bed for"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":696.44,"endTime":700.12,"body":"me to go through and figure out"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":700.12,"endTime":704.86,"body":"what I wanted to keep and what I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":700.12,"endTime":704.86,"body":"wanted to toss, and it was just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":704.86,"endTime":710.32,"body":"such a barrage of memories that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":704.86,"endTime":710.32,"body":"were just strewn out all over my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":710.32,"endTime":714.04,"body":"bed. And, you know, it gets"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":710.32,"endTime":714.04,"body":"overwhelming sometimes, because"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":714.04,"endTime":717.52,"body":"you're just like, do I want"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":714.04,"endTime":717.52,"body":"this? Do I need it? What purpose"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":717.52,"endTime":721.56,"body":"does it serve for me now? What"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":717.52,"endTime":721.56,"body":"memories Am I trying to hold on"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":721.56,"endTime":725.16,"body":"to? And he's like, you know, you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":721.56,"endTime":725.16,"body":"don't need to keep the thing,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":725.58,"endTime":728.58,"body":"take a picture of it, you have"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":725.58,"endTime":728.58,"body":"the memory, and then toss it."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":728.94,"endTime":732.18,"body":"And he's so good at doing that,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":728.94,"endTime":732.18,"body":"because he's not emotionally"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":732.18,"endTime":736.98,"body":"attached to anything, and that's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":732.18,"endTime":736.98,"body":"what I rely on him for, because"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":737.04,"endTime":741.02,"body":"I am emotionally attached to a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":737.04,"endTime":741.02,"body":"lot of things from my past, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":741.02,"endTime":744.98,"body":"you know, they hold a lot of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":741.02,"endTime":744.98,"body":"meaning for me. But he's right."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":745.04,"endTime":748.76,"body":"You know, the material item of"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":745.04,"endTime":748.76,"body":"whatever it is like, doesn't"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":748.76,"endTime":752.48,"body":"mean anything. So keep the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":748.76,"endTime":752.48,"body":"memory, take the picture. I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":752.48,"endTime":756.92,"body":"could always look back at it and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":752.48,"endTime":756.92,"body":"recall the memory and just get"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":756.92,"endTime":761.02,"body":"rid of it and simplify my life."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":756.92,"endTime":761.02,"body":"So there's been a lot of that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":761.02,"endTime":764.5,"body":"over these last couple of days,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":761.02,"endTime":764.5,"body":"and it's been very liberating"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":764.5,"endTime":769.36,"body":"and freeing to be able to let go"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":764.5,"endTime":769.36,"body":"of some of the things that, you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":769.36,"endTime":774.76,"body":"know, I I've held on to. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":769.36,"endTime":774.76,"body":"enjoying that process also"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":774.76,"endTime":780.18,"body":"because, you know, can't take"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":774.76,"endTime":780.18,"body":"everything with you, right? It's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":780.18,"endTime":784.38,"body":"been great buying new things."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":780.18,"endTime":784.38,"body":"You know, as I let go of old"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":784.38,"endTime":788.76,"body":"things, buying new things and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":784.38,"endTime":788.76,"body":"having them and, you know, I'm"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":788.76,"endTime":792.78,"body":"just really enjoying this whole"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":788.76,"endTime":792.78,"body":"process right now and just"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":792.78,"endTime":798.24,"body":"getting situated and figuring"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":792.78,"endTime":798.24,"body":"out, you know, how to repurpose"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":798.24,"endTime":803.3,"body":"old things into new things and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":798.24,"endTime":803.3,"body":"just rearranging things and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":803.3,"endTime":807.8,"body":"regrouping things. It's just,"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":803.3,"endTime":807.8,"body":"you know, I really love my space"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":807.8,"endTime":814.1,"body":"now, and I feel really good and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":807.8,"endTime":814.1,"body":"happy and peaceful, and this is"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":814.1,"endTime":817.04,"body":"a great new time for me, and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":814.1,"endTime":817.04,"body":"I'm, I'm thrilled to share it"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":817.04,"endTime":820.9,"body":"with you guys and and I'll keep"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":817.04,"endTime":820.9,"body":"you posted on this journey"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":820.9,"endTime":825.16,"body":"because it's it's very it's"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":820.9,"endTime":825.16,"body":"awesome. I'm very, very happy."},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":825.64,"endTime":830.02,"body":"So stay tuned. I will catch you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":825.64,"endTime":830.02,"body":"in the next episode. Have a"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":830.02,"endTime":835.84,"body":"great week. See you. Then please"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":830.02,"endTime":835.84,"body":"join me every Thursday for a new"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":835.84,"endTime":841.56,"body":"episode. You can reach my"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":835.84,"endTime":841.56,"body":"website@podpage.com slash the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":841.56,"endTime":846.12,"body":"music of life. Feel free to"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":841.56,"endTime":846.12,"body":"leave your email address. You"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":846.12,"endTime":850.14,"body":"can also leave a voicemail and"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":846.12,"endTime":850.14,"body":"share any kinds of stories or"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":850.14,"endTime":853.8,"body":"experiences or anything that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":850.14,"endTime":853.8,"body":"you'd like to talk about. I"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":853.8,"endTime":857.04,"body":"promise I will keep you"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":853.8,"endTime":857.04,"body":"anonymous, but I assure you that"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":857.04,"endTime":861.02,"body":"whatever experiences or stories"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":857.04,"endTime":861.02,"body":"you leave for me, you are not"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":861.02,"endTime":864.14,"body":"alone, and I would love to share"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":861.02,"endTime":864.14,"body":"that with other people who are"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":864.14,"endTime":867.5,"body":"also going through similar"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":864.14,"endTime":867.5,"body":"things. Thanks again for"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":867.5,"endTime":869.48,"body":"listening. I'll see you in the"},{"speaker":"Caryn Portnoy","startTime":867.5,"endTime":869.48,"body":"next episode. You."}]}