Understanding The Dynamics of Sexual Energy Transfer

Hey there, it's Caryn, and in this week's episode of The Music of Life, I’m diving deep into a topic I’ve been thinking about for years — sexual energy. I recently came across some articles that reignited this curiosity, and it inspired me to open up and share my personal thoughts and experiences around the energetic exchange that happens during sex. This isn’t just about chemistry or connection — we’re talking about energetic vibration, spiritual bonds, and how another person’s energy can actually impact your own long after the physical connection ends.

If you’ve ever wondered why you felt drained or energized after intimacy, or if you've started to question the emotional weight of casual sex, this episode will give you some powerful insight. I unpack how trauma, intention, and even someone's lifestyle choices can affect the energy we take on during sex — and why it's so important to be intentional and aware of who we allow into our energetic field. This is one of the most vulnerable and real conversations I've had, and I hope it gets you thinking in new ways, too.

Episode Highlights:

[0:02] - Kicking things off with a candid intro and why I love talking about sex.
[1:10] - What sexual energy transfer actually is and how it affects both people.
[3:28] - The spiritual and energetic implications of having sex with someone.
[5:45] - My personal journey of celibacy and why I’ve taken this so seriously.
[7:30] - Recognizing other people's energy — from strangers to partners.
[9:15] - Why sex is like plugging into a power source, for better or worse.
[11:02] - How mood, intention, trauma, and substance use all play into energy transfer.
[13:40] - Understanding energetic "residue" and why sexual energy lingers.
[15:28] - Cleansing sexual energy and the idea of spiritual attachments.
[17:10] - No judgment, just awareness — my hope for you as you navigate your choices.

Links & Resources:

Be sure to follow, share, and leave a comment if this show resonates with you! Send me a message at podpage.com/themusicoflife to share your experiences, or to leave a comment. I'd love to feature it in a future episode.

Transcript

Caryn Portnoy: 0:02

Hi everyone, and welcome to the music of Life. I'm your host. Karen Portnoy, before I get into this episode, please comment, ask questions, share some of your experiences, and don't forget to subscribe. You ah, sex. Who doesn't love talking about sex one of my favorite topics. Anyway, I was reading a couple of different articles recently, and it got me thinking. And this is a topic that I've been thinking about a lot in the last couple of years, but specifically I wanted to talk about sexual energy transfer. When you think about having sex with someone, I'm sure most people, I would think not a lot of people think about this, but we're all made up of energy, and when you have sex with somebody, there's a transfer of energy, sexual energy, that goes between both people. If you're in a high vibration and a good mood and positive and all of that, and you have sex with somebody who's a low vibrational person, who's insecure and negative and has those traits, it does affect you. There's there's a transfer of energy. The high vibrational person gets kind of pulled down to the low vibration level, and a low vibrational person will be uplifted to the high vibration I don't think it's an extreme from low to high and high to low. I think it's sort of like you get pulled up or down. I'm sure there are varying levels of that, but, you know, I don't think many people really consider this. But anyway, when you have pure intentions and it's a loving exchange and caring and, you know, mutual respect and stuff like that. It can be an amazing experience that adds to your energy and it really uplifts you. But the converse happens too, when it's not a loving union and you're just in it for the sex, and maybe you want to get something from the other person, or your intentions may not be so pure, or you're not as respectful, or anything like that. It can really hinder your energy, probably more so the person that's being taken from than the person who's gaining whatever they're seeking from this, this exchange. But you understand what I'm saying. And the thing is, spiritually, there's there's like a binding that happens with these two souls. You may not think of that or be aware of that, but that's what happens when you are that intimate with somebody. You're entering somebody's energy field and their aura and all of that. And there's like a soul contract that happens between two people, and a lot of things are affected by it, and having that tether between you also transmits energies between the two of you. I mean, the last thing you want is to have sex with somebody who's super toxic and you're not. And now you leave that encounter and you start feeling and embodying those traits. And it doesn't have to be so extreme, but it it could be enough that it affects you. And I think a lot of people don't necessarily make that connection, but I've taken this topic so much more seriously in the last five years, since that's the last time I had sex with my husband, is the last person I've had sex with. So for the last five years, I've really thought about, you know, what would it be like to have sex with someone new and a stranger? And you know, a lot of people have told me during this time of my divorce and separation and all of that that, you know, now's the time to have fun and go crazy and whore it up and all that stuff. And that's never been me. I was never a one night stand kind of person. I was never a casual sex kind of person. I was always, you know, in it for the relationship and sex with the relationship, and that's just always been who I am. So I'm not looking at this time as like a Get Out of Jail Free card where I can just go crazy and have sex with whoever I want. I'm sure if I wanted to do that, I could, but that's not where I ever wanted to go. So I do think about the next person that I have sex with, and you know what skeletons are in their closet and what paths they had, and how many partners they've had and and how energetically clean those people may have been or not. You know, and, and I'm in such a high vibrational state right now that I don't want to tarnish that. I don't want to bring my energy down, because a partner I choose has has a jaded past that I don't know about, or something like that. And, you know, it's very easy to go down this rabbit hole of but at the same time, it's like, you know, I want to protect my energy too, and I would hope that the next partner I have is somebody that cares about me enough to protect my energy as well. So what does it feel like when you're in tune with energy, and you're sensitive to it, and you pick up on things and and you maybe you want to raise your vibration and sensitivity to energy so that you understand energy that's going to be good for you and energy that's not going to be good for you. I mean, we all notice people's energy, whether we're really in touch with it or not. We all pick up on it. Think about it. You're on a train and somebody's got their feet up on the seat across from you, and you you know automatically, you feel anger towards them, or you feel unjustified somehow that they're able to do that when you don't. Or you're sitting in an airplane and the person who's taking up the middle seat is a larger person, and it's inconveniencing you with the amount of space you have in your seat. And you know, we all feel people's energy. So you know, you could be walking past someone on the street and you just get, like, a dirty sense from them, or you get the ick about somebody that you don't know, and you pass by and you just, you know you feel this, but you don't know why you're feeling it. And my answer to that is is this is likely something that they picked up from somebody else, or they themselves are just like that, and their energy is is passing you, but because it's in such a small dose, you may feel it for a few minutes, and then it goes away, and it's no big deal. But when you're think about, you know, when you're having sex with someone like that, whose energy really affects yours, it can really bring you down or up. So, you know, having sex with somebody whose energy is not good for you, or toxic or dark or whatever, think about like a plug going into a wall socket. You know, it's like it amps it up that much more, and therefore it affects you that much more, too. And having sex with them kind of opens up a portal where it's like their energy is all over you now, and vice versa. So when you're having sex, your energies are like a sponge. You're picking up the other person's energy and integrating it into your own. If you start having sex with somebody who's deeply insecure, you might start taking on those energies of insecurity yourself. Or if you sleep with someone who's manipulative, you might take on being manipulative yourself. So it does matter the types of people that you're sleeping with, and it's something to consider if that person is good for you or not. I mean, if you're in a dark place, maybe it's better not to sleep with anybody until you can get yourself out of that dark place. It's no different than when you have an STI and you wait until you're healed and better before you sleep with somebody else. You so some examples of what can influence a sexual energy transfer are, like I said, a person's vibration, low vibration and high vibration, one will bring you up, one will bring you down. And as your energies are connecting, they want to seek a balance. So that's what I was saying before, how it doesn't have to be so extreme, like a low vibrational person won't automatically become a high vibrational and vice versa. But there will the energies will seek to strike a balance. So you'll you know, the low one will go up a bit, and the higher one will come down a bit. And believe it or not, mood really does affect a sexual encounter as well. If you're in a bad mood and have sex, what do you think's going to happen? Those feelings will transfer of irritability, sadness or pain to somebody else, and if you're depressed, you may take on energies of depression yourself. Next, it's the person's intentions or desires can play a big role in sexual energy transference. If you're having sex with somebody who's acting from impulse or unconsciousness, those energies will definitely negatively affect you if you have sex with someone who loves you and feels a. Connection with you, your sexual energy transfer will be much more positive. I mean, here's a big doozy. So a person's trauma will definitely affect you energetically. If you have sex with somebody who had a very severe trauma happen in their childhood, for example, that they haven't yet healed from, you will absorb some of those energies. And you may feel traumatized yourself, if you energetically share yourself with someone who's either healed or healing. You may take on some of that healing energy too. And then, you know, a person's intake of alcohol or drugs or something like that, you'll also take on that vibration of that substance. I mean, believe it or not, it could also work with food, medication, anything that you put into your body, or what you consume becomes part of your energetic body, and those are the kinds of things that will transfer. I know it sounds a little drastic like, well, what's the answer? So nobody's ever going to have sex again? I'm not saying that. I'm just saying to be very aware of who you're having sex with and what that brings, and you can make your decisions accordingly. You know you may choose to have sex with somebody, regardless of what I'm talking about, or you may decide to hold off and find a more suitable partner for yourself, I guess, ideally, and this is what I think for myself, that as a high vibrational person, I would want to pair myself with another high vibrational person, and then our union becomes greater than the sum of each of its parts. So, you know, I would want my union with another high vibrational person to create something bigger than each of us alone, I guess is what I'm trying to say to me. Sex is not just a physical thing. It's an emotional thing. It's a mental thing, and it's obviously physical, but also spiritual. And so I would want my sexual experience to be of the highest caliber and and vibration that I could get. And actually, the place where you have sex also matters. The set and setting is also a factor. If you're in a low vibrational environment, then you're going to open yourself up to those energies. So the thing you know, with body count and how many people others have had sex with, I mean, you think about it, it's like it's not just the one person you're having sex with, that person, and everyone they've ever had sex with before, and everyone you've ever had sex with before. So you could really go down this rabbit hole. And, you know, some people have never thought about this, and maybe it would change how you select partners in the future or not. I'm just talking about it because it's something that I think about all the time. You I read that it takes about seven years to dispel sexual energy. So if you slept with somebody and didn't sleep with anybody else for the next seven years, which I know isn't always practical, that's how long it would take for the energy of that person to leave your system, but it can still influence you all those years later. But it's interesting, because the sexual energy that you took on will slowly leak out of your energetic body over time. Fortunately, your energetic body is constantly trying to purify itself, but it happens slowly, and the process can be really lengthy, because you're constantly taking on energies from food, people, technology and more environment. You can do energetic cleansing that could help along the process. Though, people can purge some of the bad energies that they've taken on during sex. There are different ways of cleansing energy. Some people use. There's like plant medicines, like mushrooms. I mean, you could look up any, any different kind of ways, spiritual, cleansings, energy, cleansings, anything like that. The thing that scares me the most, though, is that you can catch a lot more than STIs and bad moods from sex. There are spiritual attachments that can also jump from one energetic body to the next while having sex. I mean, definitely bad spirits and darkness and entities and things like that can definitely impact you and your energy. This is why I'm saying you just don't know who you're sleeping with, or anyone that they've slept with. Maybe they're not even aware that that they slept with somebody who had an entity attached to them. And the thing is, is that you know you can have like havoc in your life and not know why. And. You know you, you might be able to trace it back to an encounter you had with somebody who had a spirit that was toxic or dark, and it jumped from that person to you. And so now you're in a position where things are going wrong in your life and you don't know how to get rid of it. Once again, I'll say that I'm not judging anybody for the sexual choices that they make, and I will just say that for me myself, I've always regarded sex as a very sacred act. I only had sex with people I cared about deeply or loved. You know now that I've gone through so much healing work during and after my divorce, it's even more important to me than ever that the next partner I have has done healing work themselves, that they're in a high vibration and their intentions are pure and loving and respectful, and I would never sleep with anyone less than that. So that's just my values and my ethics about it that I'm sharing with you. But you know, please don't take this as judgment against any of your decisions. You know, anybody who chooses to have sex from a lower vibration or their ego, or someone who's just seeking pleasure. You know it's, I'm not telling people not to do that. Just know what you're signing up for. But I guess it's no different than, you know, crossing the street when you don't have the right of way, and you're taking a chance crossing the street when the light's not in your favor, and you could get hit by a car. So you know, plenty of us do that anyway, knowing, okay, I got it, I look both ways, and I can cross safely. So it's the same thing. You can have sex with somebody without knowing, and you're just throwing the dice and seeing what happens, and that's okay. Everyone has free will and has their own choices to make, and as long as you can sleep well at night and you can feel good in your decisions, then it doesn't matter what anybody has to say. I would love to hear your thoughts about this. If there are any stories or questions you want to ask me or anything like that anyway. Thank you again for listening. I'll catch you in the next episode. Please join me every Thursday for a new episode. You can reach my website@podpage.com slash the music of life. Feel free to leave your email address, you can also leave a voice mail and share any kinds of stories or experiences or anything that you'd like to talk about. I promise I will keep you anonymous, but I assure you that whatever experiences or stories you leave for me, you are not alone, and I would love to share that with other people who are also going through similar things. Thanks again for listening. I'll see you in the next episode. You.