FearLESS: Crush Rejection & Failure in 10 Minutes

Fear of rejection and failure can hold you back from living your best life- but not anymore. In this 10 minute power-packed episode, I reveal how to face your fears head-on with actionable strategies. Discover how to name your fear, re-frame your mindset, and take micro-actions that lead to real progress. It's time to break through and step into your freedom. Your future self is cheering you on - let's go! 

IG: @themrmindd

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So you have this idea, and it's a great idea. It's a great idea because you've been running it through your mind a thousand times. However, you haven't started. Why haven't you started? Well, that's the fear. Fear of what? Fear of rejection, fear of people laughing at you. The list goes on and on. Well, today we're going to try to break down that wall of fear and have you living your best life. Let's get to it. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mr. Mind Podcast. Your twice a week dose of living well. So you have that fear. What is that fear for you? A lot of people, they have the fear of rejection, feeling unworthy. If others say no, the fear of failure, and a lot of times that fear of failure, it's because they attach that to their self-worth. They attach it to their value.
(01:02)
And you don't want to do that because these fears aren't just emotions. They impact your decisions, your relationships, your career. For example, fear of rejection might stop you from applying for that dream job. Has that ever happened to you? Ah, man, I'm not going to get that job. Why am I going to go for it? So-and-so was way more qualified, or X amount of people are way more qualified. Why am I going to do it? Why would I do it? Why are they going to choose me? Does this sound familiar at all? Fear of failure could make you hesitate to launch your business or even share your creative work. And I tell you, when I very first started my company, I went to a lot of different people and I asked them, I said, Hey, do you think this is a good idea? Do you think this is a good idea?
(01:48)
And about 98% of them said, no, don't do it, Ryan. That market is so saturated. You're not going to be able to make money. You're going to lose money. And I tell you, it worked out. Yeah, I knew how saturated the market was, but I said, forget it. None of those people are me, and you just have to just go to it. But if you have that fear of failure, what are we going to do? We're just going to stay here, be comfortable, continue living the life that we don't really care about too much or not care about, but we don't really enjoy as much as we could enjoy because of that fear of failure. A good thing to know, and a good thing to realize is that rejection and failure, they're not signs of inadequacy. Not at all. What they are signs of are, I should say, signals.
(02:40)
They're signals of trying, right? Because if you don't try, you can't fail, which is a good thing and a bad thing, a good thing. And because you get, stay nice and comfortable in your safe zone, a bad thing because you're going to be nice and comfortable in your safe zone. You know what I mean? Do you get what I'm saying? If you're safe, you're not growing. If you're comfortable, you're not growing. If you don't feel uncomfortable, you're not growing. You know what I mean? Think about it. All the times that you were a little bit uncomfortable, think back to those times. I don't take it every single time, right? Like, oh my gosh, I'm at the edge of the cliff. But Ryan said, if I'm not uncomfortable, I'm not growing. Well, let me walk on the edge of this cliff. No, no, it's not like that.
(03:26)
You know what I mean? Within a reasonable means. You know what I mean? You want to go talk to that girl? You want to go talk to that guy, going to be a little uncomfortable. If you're sane, if you don't do it every day, every minute, it's going to be uncomfortable. Well, guess what? You're growing. That's something really to understand. And without failure, well, I don't even like calling it failure to be honest with you, but without trying, you're not pushing yourself towards success. I mean, imagine if Thomas Edison quit after failing the first few times at inventing the light bulb. We'd be in the dark. Literally. God, that was a corny joke. I don't care. I don't care. So what we need to do is we need to reframe fear. Fear is not our enemy. Fear is feedback. That's very important. Fear is not an enemy.
(04:23)
It's feedback. It's going to show you exactly where you need to go. Think about it when something scares you, is it because it doesn't matter? No, it's because it does matter a lot of times. So if something scares you, it's often because it matters. You like that girl? You want to go talk to her? Ah, it's scary. You want that job. You want to apply scary. You want to post something because you want people to see your creative work scary often because it matters. Think about public speaking. If you fear it, it's likely because you care how you're going to be perceived, right? That's the goal. If you're going to be talking to your computer, if you're going to be talking to your wall, you don't care. Your computer doesn't care, your wall doesn't care. But if you're talking to a group of a hundred people, oh man, we care about how we're going to be perceived.
(05:21)
But here's the thing, guys, that fear can be reframed. I mean, what if speaking up helps someone or even change his lives? Then what I'm doing now, oh man, it's kind of like, oh man, Ryan, what are you going to do? You're going to try to help people out with their mindset. You're going to coach people. God, people are going to laugh at you fear. Well, guess what? I did it anyways. And guess what? Those people that I helped wouldn't have been helped if I let my fear hold me back. What if it helps people or even changes lives? Guys, here's something I want you to do. Identify exactly what you're afraid of and why. And be specific too. For example, I'm scared of being judged when I share my writing because I fear people think I'm not good enough. So instead of saying, I'm afraid of failing, say, I'm afraid that if my business doesn't succeed, people will think I'm incompetent. When you get specific, you gain clarity, and clarity gives you power.
(06:34)
So we're going to flip the script. So you're going to ask, what's the best thing that can happen if I try? You're going to challenge yourself to see rejection or failure as a learning experience, not a defining moment, because that's what it is, a learning experience. For example, you might be afraid to ask for a promotion because you fear of being turned down, but what if asking sparks a conversation that leads to future opportunities? Even if you don't get it right away, you open the door for future opportunities. You never know, guys, you never know.
(07:12)
Make sure you break down what you're afraid of into small, manageable actions. Focus on progress, not perfection, and that's very important. We need to focus on progress and not perfection. If you're afraid of networking, challenge yourself to send one LinkedIn a message a day. If you fear starting a business, commit to writing down one idea daily for a week. If public speaking scares you, practice a two minute talk in front of a mirror or a friend. Just try it. See what happens. I promise it's going to feel weird, but guess what? When you're uncomfortable, you're growing. A client of mine really wanted to get out of the life that he was living. He didn't like it. He wanted to change it, but he was scared to change it because he was scared that if he leaves the profession that he was in, that he wouldn't be able to do anything else in any other field.
(08:04)
But then we got talking and what he likes, what his hobbies were and what his real dream was, and it was a big dream for him, and he saw it kind of like someone building a house. If you just look at the house, it's like, oh my gosh, how am I going to build this? But no, first you have to break ground. Then you got to lay the foundation. So that's what we did. We broke ground. We laid the foundation for him. Then he took small actionable steps, and lo and behold, it worked. He was able to complete his dream. Now, did he get a lot of rejections? Yeah, definitely a whole bunch of rejections, a lot of the rejections that he thought previously that he was going to have. And I told him, it's not that you're not going to have those rejections, but now we're going to have it so that your mind reframes those rejections as progress.
(08:54)
You got to his dream, and now he is living the life with his family. He has a wife, he has a kid. Guys, this works. Trust me, it works. And you're going to feel hesitant to do so, and just understand that there's an act of force out there that holds us back from my dreams. Procrastination. But where does procrastination come from? When I say, Hey, what's holding you back? What do you need to work on? People say, I procrastinate. That's wrong. That's so wrong. It's not procrastination that holds you back. It's something else. Procrastination just doesn't come out of nowhere. There's something that starts it. I heard this example and it really stuck with me. Well, if you live next to a river and all of a sudden the river runs red, would you go out there and look in the river and say, I got to get this red out and take a bucket and try to scoop the red out?
(09:50)
No, that's not going to work. You have to go upstream and figure out where the source is coming from. So yeah, you may be procrastinating, but procrastination isn't your problem. It's a product of the problem. So what's the root of the problem? That's something you have to figure out. But I can tell you a lot of times it's fear. And here's something you should know about fear. Fear is normal, but staying stuck is a choice. Name your fear. Flip the script and take small action. Progress beats perfection every time, even if the progress is imperfect. Listen, this week, choose one fear that you've been avoiding and take one small step toward it. Send that email, ask for that opportunity. Share that idea. It's your time to move forward. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mr. Mind Podcast. Do me a favor. Send that last person that you sent a text to. Send them another text and say, Hey, good morning. Hey, good afternoon. Heck, hey, have a great night. Because you never know. They just might need it. Aloha.