Fear Doesn’t Have to Win: Break Through and Find Your Freedom

Fear of rejection, failure, or judgment holding you back? In this episode, learn why fear feels so powerful and how to reframe it, take small steps, and find your freedom. You're stronger than you think- start breaking through today! 

IG: @themrmindd

Transcript

Ryan Johnson (00:00):

So the question is, what would you do if fear wasn't a problem for you? What would you do if fear wasn't holding you back? And it will forever hold you back unless you acknowledge it. Once you acknowledge it, you understand the problem, and then you can tackle that problem Like today. Today we're tackling fear. Fear of rejection, fear your failure or judgment. And I'll share simple actionable steps to help you break through it so that you can find your freedom. Let's get to it. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mr. Mind Podcast, your twice a week dose of Living. Well, a lot of people really don't like to admit to fear. A lot of people, men, women, but especially men. And there's a reason for that. Cultural and social expectations, fear of judgment, different ways of processing, fear, biological and hormonal factors. And my personal favorite, lack of safe places.
(01:06)
There is a reason for it, but we all have it. We all have fear. We just process it different ways and we show it different ways. Some people jump, some people scream. Some people get mad, angry, some people run, and this could be physically, this could be mentally, but it does. It happens if you say that you're, that you're not fearful of anything. Oh man, I'd like to shake your hand. So something that we really need to know, something that we really need to acknowledge is that fear is a universal experience. We all go through it. And I think that once we understand that and really accept that, we'll be able to handle fear correctly. It's hardwired into us. And here's the thing, it's there to protect us. And it was right. If we go back to caveman days, you have that fear. You don't want to leave the cave because, well, you don't want to leave the cave alone because you might get eaten by a saber tooth tiger.
(02:05)
That's some other massive creature. So it's hardwired into us, but too often it becomes a gatekeeper that keeps us from growth, and that's the stage that we're at now. I love to golf and I love to play basketball. Those are two sports that I like. And for the longest time, I've had a fear of messing up and my teammates making fun of me. Or can I say just looking down on me or saying, man, that guy sucks. He missed that basket. And I was like that for the longest time. So I would never drive and I can drive. This is basketball. I'm talking about this moment. I would never drive to the hole. I would never try that shot. I would never take the shot. And what they say stands true. You miss every single shot that we don't take. So yes, but then I thought, you know what?
(02:53)
Kyrie Irving misses his shots too. And I just went and I started and started driving, and I started shooting. And of course I missed. But to my mindset behind it was completely different. And that just built the courage that I needed to continuously do that. But yes, I had to get past that fear. And with golf, fear of looking bad when you swing. So you kind of just don't put in all the power that you need to on that drive. You start forgetting things because keep in mind, when you get nervous, when you get anxious, there's a chemical reaction in your brain that literally stops you from thinking logically. So you have that pressure, you have that fear. Guess what? You're going to stop thinking logically. But here's a good thing about fear. It can be managed and you don't have to live under its control.
(03:41)
So ask yourself this, what's the fear that's holding you back? Is it fear of rejection, fear of failing at something new? Fear of judgment. I know what mine was. You might be saying, oh, Ryan, you don't have any more fears. No, I still do all the time. And keep in mind, this podcast is not about eliminating your fears. You'll never have fears again. No, that's impossible. This is about managing your fears, being able to manage, understand, Hey, I understand what your fear, what you are fear. I understand you now, and I understand how to manage you so I can get past you. I can sidestep you, I can hurdle over you to accomplish the goals that I want to even set the goals that I want. That's what this podcast episode is about. So how could we do that? Well, we have to separate the fear from fact.
(04:30)
A lot of times our fears are based on what ifs, not reality. I'm going to shoot that basketball and what if I miss? And what if they do that? And what if and what if? And what if? And what if. So ask yourself this. What's the worst that can happen? And can I handle that? Yeah, I'm going to go for that shot and I might miss it. Well, what's the worst that can happen? People laugh. Can I handle that? Oh yeah, I've been through worse. Okay, well then shoot, what about you? Is it public speaking? You go up there. The worst thing that can happen is what you bomb. Could you handle that? Ah, you're going to live, you're fine. What if it's talking to that person that you like, right? Talking to that girl that you like. What's the worst that can happen? You go, you talk to her, you say, Hey, Sarah, can, I think you're a great gal?
(05:16)
And I dunno what that voice is. I think you're a great gal. I want to ask you out on a date. And I think we'd have a good vibe together. And she laughs. That's probably the worst that can happen. Ha. Terry, you're hilarious. I would never go on a date with you. Okay, fine. That's fine. Well, I'm going to keep living and you're going to keep living. That's totally fine. Can you live with that? Yes, you can. Can you handle that? More than likely, yes. So you need to have actionable steps to break this fear. Here's the thing, guys, that a lot of people don't know. Fear grows. The more we avoid it. So what we can do is start by taking tiny steps outside your comfort zone. If public speaking scares you, speak up in a small meeting first. You don't have to go right to the TED Talks, speak up in a small meeting.
(06:09)
When you do that, I promise you something very interesting is going to happen. When you speak up in that small meeting, you're going to notice that you will still be alive after, oh my goodness, I'm still alive. Yeah, you're going to be scared. Yeah, you're going to be nervous. I understand that's fear. I understand that majority of us go through that, especially when we have that fear of public speaking. But when we start, start, that's the momentum that we need to keep going. Now, you're going to reframe that fear. Instead of seeing fear as a stop sign, a good thing to do is view it as a signal that you're stepping into growth. Just view it as a signal that you're stepping into growth. And remember, fear and excitement can feel the same. And a lot of people say, Hey, Ryan, when you go, and I used to do music, by the way, I used to do music and performs, and they say, Ryan, do you get scared when you go on?
(06:59)
And for the longest time, I was like, yeah, I get pretty scared. And then I realized, oh my goodness, it's actually excitement. I get excited. So yeah, fear and excitement can feel the same. Once you reframe that fear, what you're going to do is visualize success. Oh my gosh, Ryan, we got to visualize. That's so weird. Yes. Step out your comfort zone. Guess what? If you haven't been visualizing, has it been working? Ask yourself that. Visualize success, picture yourself succeeding. Despite the fear in what visualization does is it rewires your brain to expect a positive outcome. Does it work? Yes, it does. Have you ever heard of an interview of someone that made the final shot or someone that did something really big and they get interviewed and they're like, Hey, what were you thinking? How did it happen? What was going on through your mind?
(07:52)
And they're like, well, I don't know. I just pictured myself making the shot, and I went and I shot and I made it. I don't know. I just thought of building this app and man, it came to, I thought it and I created small actionable steps, and it worked. What do they all have in common? They what? And then took action. What did they do before they took action? They visualized it. Maybe that word visualization is just so taboo that a lot of people were like, but no, how about this? Think about it. They thought about it, they thought about it, they thought about it. They thought about it, and oh my goodness, it works. I say this a lot, but it's only because it's very important. Celebrate progress. Every time you take a step through fear, no matter how small, celebrate it, celebrate it.
(08:43)
What are you going to do? Celebrate it. What are you going to do? Celebrate it. Progress is powerful. You have to celebrate your small wins, and you have to do this consciously because subconsciously the majority of us think so negatively about ourselves, that we have to consciously think positive and consciously give ourself positive reinforcement. That's just something we have to do. If you take anything from this podcast, please take this. Fear doesn't have to win. Name it, face it, and take small steps to overcome it. You're stronger than you think. This week I challenge you to name one fear and take one small action and face it. Let me know how it goes. Let me know how it goes, guys. And remember, you have the power to break through your fears and find your freedom. Thank you so much for tuning into the Mr. Mind podcast. I hope you guys have one heck of a week. And can you do me a favor, like and subscribe, but more importantly, more importantly, that very last person that you text or texted you, if you can text that person back and say, Hey, I hope you're having a good day. I hope you're having a good night. Heck, I hope you're having a good week, because you never know. They just might need it. Aloha.