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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 5 - Between the Sheets: Saying What You Want (and Loving What You’ve Got)
Episode Summary:
We’re getting real about sex in this episode—talking openly about desires, confidence, and why communication is the ultimate game-changer in the bedroom. From overcoming body insecurities to figuring out what you actually like (and how to ask for it), we’re diving into the stuff that should not be taboo. Expect personal stories, a little chaos, and plenty of laughs as we unpack how women are owning their pleasure and getting what they deserve.
- 🤐 Why talking about sex still feels so taboo (and why that needs to change)
- 📖 How spicy books are helping women tap into their sexuality
- 🗣️ The power of saying what you want (and why it makes everything better)
- 💭 Getting out of your own head—navigating body image in the bedroom
- 🔥 Our fave (and least fave) positions—because honesty is key
- 💖 The importance of aftercare and why it’s just as important as the main event
- 😏 Dirty talk: awkward? Hot? Let’s discuss.
Just real talk about pleasure, confidence, and feeling good. 🔥
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Welcome to episode 5 of Maximalist Life. I'm your host, brianna, and I'm Tamika, and we are going to be doing a spicy little episode today. My favorite this episode is going to be all about sex Lots of smut. You know, I'm really grateful that my mom doesn't know how to listen to podcasts. Probably she doesn't even know how to look them up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mine can't either.
Speaker 1:Mom, if you're listening, shut it down. Just shut it down. Right?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm telling you, yes, your last warning yeah, you're gonna hear some inappropriate stuff. Anything after this point that's on you. Yeah, I mean, I would think the same thing with my brothers, even though they would never listen to this. They just think I'm bullshit you're bullshit. Yeah, they're just like she's so ridiculous.
Speaker 1:She just talks a bunch of bullshit yeah so this is, you know, all of our episodes are marked as explicit because we do cuss and stuff, but this one for sure you're gonna want to listen with your airpods in it's gonna be naughty, yeah, so let's just get right into it.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, also let me just say too, if we had done this podcast, specifically this episode, like two years ago, I never would have been able to do this, because I used to be so weird about talking about sex stuff and I still kind of am a little bit but even like with my ex-husband and like we would talk about sex, I just couldn't. It's like I didn't want to say it.
Speaker 1:I don't want to say it like he would be, you know, like, oh things you like. Or let's want to say it Like he would be, you know, like, oh, things you like. Or let's talk about what happened. Yeah, and I would be like well, when you do the thing with your thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's nerve wracking.
Speaker 1:And he was like why do you have like a little kid that you can't? And I'm like I don't know, I don't like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, reading the Smutty books that I read kind of gave me this sense of like permission that women because a lot of times in the book some of the girls are like fucking make me come, like they're like telling them to like go after it or whatever and they want it. They're like talking about how they want it, you know. And so I think it kind of gives you permission to kind of be like okay, I want this and I'm going to tell him that I want this. I'm going to say that, yeah, and I think that you know, even out in the world, just talking more about a lot more smutty things with girls, like specific things, it's one thing to be like oh yeah, my husband and I had sex last night or whatever it is like with your friends. But now I feel like we really get into it, like at book club, yeah, like we get into some naughty things. Book club gets Especially our book retreat.
Speaker 2:I feel like it was not. We talked about a lot of smut, yeah. So I think that the books have done that for me too, you know, because I, you know my past trauma is like sexual abuse, so I think that I was, in a weird way, kind of scared of like that talk too.
Speaker 1:And so I think you know now, just so normalized, make it real, yeah, and for me, I mean this wasn't traumatic at all, but just part. I think part of it for me was growing up. Sex was like such a such a taboo yeah, and like I mean my mom didn't even have the sex talk with me, like she didn't, didn't she didn't want to talk about it, same and it was just like that's not a thing, there's no, and when things would come up here and there about things where it was like I was a little bit older and maybe we should have some conversations.
Speaker 1:It was just this awkward. We're not going to talk about it and we're going to pretend that that doesn't exist. Don't talk about it and we're going to pretend that that doesn't exist. Don't talk about it and don't look at it. Yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 1:I think that's where part of it came from, where I was like I can't talk about it. I can't say that, I don't want to say those words. It's bad, it's naughty, um, and I think too I mean along the lines of what we're saying about even talking about it is I think a lot of women specifically have a hard time just even thinking about the things that they want, because a lot of times you go into these sexual experiences and a lot of times you are the more submissive person in that experience not always, but and so you kind of just let the guy take the lead, yeah, um, and so it's kind of like oh, they're whatever they want to do, I'm fine, I you know, or you want to be this like, I just want you to be happy, and so you kind of just go along with whatever they want you don't really become a dead fish yeah, you're not really thinking like here's the stuff I want to do and I want to.
Speaker 1:And again, that's not true for everybody, of course, um, but I think a lot of us have felt that before yeah yeah. So for me part of it is the books and part of it is just like this little dating uh experiment. I guess I could say that I've been on for a couple years and I've had some, some spicy experiences yeah, and so you have, and sometimes the they will like they'll.
Speaker 1:There's more sexting involved yeah they're asking you stuff that you kind of have to verbalize and they're expecting you to say, like what you want, yeah. So also, I think something that we don't realize is guys would just really love if we would just say what the fuck we want.
Speaker 2:You know what? I would agree with you. I think that we beat around the bush and we're just like we're not supposed to say these things. But if you're just like, yeah, I just want you to make me cum, like I want you to eat my pussy and focus on the right side on top. Yeah, fucking map, whatever. Yeah, it's like we, and I think at times like, well, there are a lot of men that believe in pleasing a woman and that's what you should do.
Speaker 1:Some just don't really know they don't, they don't know what to do and they don't. They just need you to tell them. Yeah, please just tell them. They don't want to guess, they don't want these subtle hints.
Speaker 1:They're like tell me exactly what I need to do here or they won't put any effort into it yeah, they're like if you're not going to say what you want and tell me, then I don't give a fuck, I'm just gonna do what I want. I'm just gonna get off, because I'm gonna tell you what I want. They don't care? There's no. And I think too the other thing, because we feel really self-conscious about how we look or things like that.
Speaker 1:And so we're going into this experience, feeling like you're not even thinking sometimes about like, oh, what would feel the best, or what kind of things do I really want? You're just so like are the lights dim enough? Can he see my scars? Can?
Speaker 2:you see my stomach? Yeah, my butt too flat, my flopping around, yeah, yep, so you have all these things going on your head.
Speaker 1:They're not giving a fuck. There's no dude that's going into having sex with you going. Are you looking at my double chin when I'm on top of you?
Speaker 2:okay, you remember the first book club book that we read, and she was a curvier girl.
Speaker 2:Yes, mile high, mile high, yeah, and she was so worried about that the first time, right, she didn't want to like take her shirt off because she was thicker and like she's worried about her tummy, and he his like side of it. When they wrote his point of view, he was just like I'm about to sink into this, like I want to grab onto her curves and I just want to eat. He wanted her to like sit on his face and you know she was like I would never fucking do that, like you know. And so I think those things like the opposite, thinking a point yeah, they're thinking it's crazy.
Speaker 2:I know even though here here's the thing I do think that men have to work harder.
Speaker 1:Oh, during sex for sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, so on top of yes, I'm sure some of them are self-conscious about they have to like look hot too, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:They have to get us off. Okay, not come too fast, stay hard, stay hard. And I mean this is genetics, like have a big penis, at least not too small. Just kidding, no, you're not.
Speaker 1:But well, and I feel like, even if, like, let's say, okay, you are like, oh, I'll be on top for a little bit Like for the most part I mean again, this is a very general statement, but I feel like for the most part I mean again, this is a very general statement, but I feel like, for the most part, guys are doing most of the work.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what I'm saying. Like I just have to put on a show, right, I just have to, like you know, I just have to kind of be myself. Yeah, and once you can get over the like, is my stomach too fat, are my boobs too saggy? And you can just be in the moment. I get to be in the moment where like well, maybe not when you're giving a blowjob, you have to make sure you're doing it right. Yeah, like when you have to do that, but like that's only time, like I think.
Speaker 1:But like if they're like putting their hand on your head, on your head, then I mean they're kind of in control too right, well, and one of the things, too, that I noticed this has been something I've noticed maybe in the past year is I don't know what it is, but it's like I always just have my eyes closed for most of it the blowjob the whole sex. Oh yeah, and I never really noticed it you're just like going blind I mean it's like my eyes were closed the whole time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I most of the time like you're just trying to be in the moment and like having this sensual experience I don't know, like maybe I think that's what I thought I was trying to do, but I now thinking about it and in my most recent sexual experiences, when I've been very aware of it and being like keep your eyes open. Like I almost can't enjoy it as much with my eyes closed. It's like I am I closing my eyes because I'm like if I can't see you, you can't see me. I don't know, I don't know what it, but I have noticed I have to really tell myself like okay, keep your eyes open. Like focus on what's happening, enjoy what's happening, be more like present. So that was kind of a weird thing.
Speaker 2:But, um, yeah, I can't believe. We're just like have your eyes closed.
Speaker 1:You guys can't see me, but I just have my eyes closed, looking back, just like the whole time yeah, I don't know why, I don't know, I and it is like when I have my eyes open and I'm like looking at them, I'm, I am so much more, it's so much more enjoyable. Yeah, and so I've realized that and been like why do I do that?
Speaker 2:okay, so let me tell you about my favorite sex position, and why. Because?
Speaker 1:I feel like this kind of goes with that right?
Speaker 2:Well, okay, wait, let me start with like I was thinking about. The reason why I was thinking about this was because I was watching a TikTok and there's this guy on TikTok and he always talks about these like sexual things. Like he talks about like how to give the best blowjobs. It's really like geared to men, though, like his whole concept is more like if you please the woman, you will have better sex. Like that's a, that's a huge thing. This is how you should like, uh, try to um, hold off, like coming.
Speaker 2:Like he's like really just trying to help men, which I think, god, they should go to classes for. I mean girls too. You shouldn't be a dead fish, right? So he was talking about favorite sex positions and I was thinking about like he was talking about the difference between the boys and the girls or whatever, and I was thinking about how that is so true I think for my partner, his and probably a lot of boys and I'm not sure if this is true, maybe not is when we're on top, they get a woman is on yeah, when the girls are on top, they get a full show.
Speaker 2:You know, our tits are bouncing. They get to see our face. They get to grab our ass. They get a woman is on. Yeah, when the girls are on top, they get a full show. Our tits are bouncing. They get to see our face. They get to grab our ass. They get to, you know, grab our tits. They can kiss us the whole thing, right, and they're in control still, yeah, but we're like moving and stuff obviously. But they can take control from that position, but it's very much like they get a show right.
Speaker 2:So for so, for me, I've got to embarrass it. So for me, my favorite position is doggy, because the way our room is set up there is a long mirror to the right of us and I mean I think my husband's really hot. He works really hard on his body. You know, I think he looks the best he's ever looked and I've been with him since he was 15 and I think he looks so hot and I just love watching him fuck me. All his like muscles are tense and he's like concentrating and like I just see him fucking me. It's like kind of watching your own porno a little bit, yeah, which is kind of weird. But I just like churn my head a little, like kind of watching your own porno a little bit, yeah, which is kind of weird, but I just like turn my head a little bit and I watch it and it's so hot, like I think it's so hot.
Speaker 2:I can see that, even though, like, I don't really like what I see as far as my body in that position, like my boobs are hanging kind of low, I have mommy tummy so it hangs, but I watch him and I think that that's hot, and so it's like it's like him being on top of me for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you get a show either way. Yeah, you know, I had sex with a guy one time and he had like a full mirror like his um, closet doors were mirrored, that's what mine is and it was like, well, and he wanted to be like facing the mirror because he wanted to watch me in the mirror yeah, and then I was like oh, I hate this, I don't want it, and I was so I couldn't even focus on like him looking hot or what, because I was just yeah I, I, I can't make this face.
Speaker 2:Well, here's, here's the thing. I wouldn't want it so that I'm facing the mirror.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be facing the mirror.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what sucks, because then, yeah, he gets to watch your face or whatever. At that point I'm smothering my face in the pillow. You better push my back down, because we're looking down. I'm not doing that shit, I'm not looking. You just look up and you look at yourself.
Speaker 1:That's so fucking weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but side. You know, when we do it like that, it's sideways, so that I can see him back there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, speaking of sideways, my least favorite position, which I didn't know. Okay, so you know, I have been married twice and I just think I had a very vanilla sex life before when. I was married, not that it was bad, like it was good, I mean don't you feel like often married couples, especially if they have kids? Mm-hmm, like drew and I aren't having sex anywhere, but in our room well and I think, like you know, together, when you're like, a lot younger.
Speaker 1:I don't know. You just haven't had as much like experience in life.
Speaker 2:I mean, we had like crazy sex, then I feel like we were like we were super adventurous, I think, for me. I think I have kind of followed my trauma through this. I think I was super adventurous through that with my sexual trauma. I went like crazy, and so we were super adventurous and then as I got into my like mid 20s and 30s, I, my trauma was starting to take hold of me. So I kind of pulled back a little bit, which was really hard, I think, for Drew, because that's his sexual prime, where mine isn't until like really right now, and so then I'm like kind of dragging him through that a little bit because I have to deal with my own shit, yeah, yeah. So now I'm feeling way more adventurous, but I feel like we used to fuck outside and like on my trampoline when we were younger.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, the trampoline when we were younger, like in the car, like you know, stuff like that. We don't do that anymore, you know yeah yeah, oh, so yeah. What I'm gonna say, too, is that so even just like certain positions I didn't even know were a thing yeah, okay that I was like I never did that.
Speaker 1:I don't know what the fuck this is and it's the one where it's like you start like maybe you start off missionary or something, but then they like turn your hips to the side so it's like they're coming from behind you, but you're like still laying on your back facing them, so your body's like twisted to the side. I hate that shit.
Speaker 1:I'm like turned all to the side, your boobs are like hanging to the side and then you got your side rolls just like lumped up here and it's just. I hate that. I don't want to do any type of acrobatics it feels like you're turned away from them too yeah, what do you? Why do I have to? If we're gonna do it like this, can we just do a doggy? Yeah, I'm over here, I don't need to do all this it's, and the doggy gives you a little bit of leverage.
Speaker 2:Where this? What are you like? A little wiggle worm?
Speaker 1:you're just, you literally are just laying there, yeah.
Speaker 2:What You're just like, like trying. It's such an awkward position.
Speaker 2:I hate that position too, then, a lot of guys are doing that and it's not for me, my worst position is when I have to lay on the edge of the bed. Okay, and then Drew stands. It's so far. I feel like I'm reaching yeah, because while he's tall, I mean he has to come down. But then at that point we might as well just both be laying on the bed, yeah, and it's so far. So we're just like staring at each other. That's so. I hate that, but it's so far.
Speaker 1:See, that's why I have my eyes closed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but like you can't, you know, so it's just like such a weird, just like too far away, like what are we a foot apart here?
Speaker 1:You know. So this one guy that I actually have had some really good sex with, Okay, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's hear it.
Speaker 1:He does this thing where it's like. So he's like has me on the edge of the bed, but then he kind of pulls me like off the bed to where, like, he has to kind of like hold me up from there, because I'll fucking just slide off. Yeah, I don't even know how to explain. It's like I'm so my butt's kind of like hanging off the edge of the bed, but then he's got my legs up kind of like over his shoulders, yeah, but then he's like leaning down, so it's kind of still like you're a missionary spot, I don't know. Yeah, it's a good one, so that's a fun. I love when they find that little spot and you're like please don't. Also, here's the thing you have to tell them. You have to tell them because they're just going to keep trying different things and so if there's something they're doing, that's really good, and you don't tell them they're just going to fucking that is the one thing that that guy said.
Speaker 2:As soon as a girl says something to you like that's it or that's the spot, do not move, don't. You can just continue to hit and move that same way. Yeah, do not move, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's so irritating when they're doing something right and when you even tell them you're like, yeah, that's, yeah, that's the spot Don't, and then they just fucking go off and do something else and you're I just need to do the same thing, yeah. So that's, something.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I do. You know, it depends on the guy for like positions that I do like. If it's a guy who has a really cute face and he's like really good at kissing and he's more, maybe he's like a little more sensual or something, then I can just do missionary all day long. I'm okay with that and um, but I but I think so the way that I have to like almost end sex every time because this is the only way.
Speaker 1:Really, during intercourse, that's like I'll get off. I need to be doing it doggy style and I need to also. So here's the thing doggy style is like fun on its own, but for some added fun, also use your vibrator at the same time you need some stimulate.
Speaker 2:Do you ever get off by just penetration? Never, never yeah never. I mean, I don't actually know, but I would say most girls they need stimulation.
Speaker 1:I it was like 30% or less get off just from like penetration. I don't know. It's just going in and out. There's nothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it just going to. It takes longer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think I could ever.
Speaker 2:That's never been a thing for me.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I don't know. So there's like yeah, yeah, stuff with different positions, it just depends on the, it depends heavily for me on that guy yeah it really depends.
Speaker 2:There's a position I want to try, but drew can't do it, he's not flexible, what is it? So it is the simplest fucking move. Right, we've tried to do this. We've talked to our friends about doing this. It's so funny, okay, it's when your doggy style, but then they sit back on their feet and then they pull you back. Well, drew cannot sit back, he only can go a little bit sit back on his body. Yeah, so he just can't be in that position. So I can't, just because then it would be, you know, like I would be angled this way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and who knows if even that would be better than doggy, you know, probably not yeah, I won't know, because he can't do that position, and we've like just practiced, like, just like with our clothes on in the living room. I'm like let's just see if we could do this position you know, my god, that's hilarious. I can't sit back on my feet like that, honey, and I'm like fine yeah I'm sad about it oh no not really what's another.
Speaker 1:Okay, what's like? Besides that, what is something that you guys haven't done that you would want to try?
Speaker 2:okay, this has only come around in like the last year when I've been reading all these stupid books, so I used to read this book. So I used to cringe when people were doing in the butt right, and it's just something that drew's never been interested. So who am I to like be like? Oh yeah, I'm so interested in this, you know, and so right. Like you know, not typically not a lot of girls like do that without like saying they want to do it to them right.
Speaker 1:Right, right right.
Speaker 2:So I read all these books and then I started thinking like maybe I should, maybe we should do it in the book, right? And so I've just been saying it and saying it and saying it and Drew's just like no thanks, like I'm not really interested, and then he just kept going at it and then he goes. And then he just goes are you, are you being serious? And I go yes, I'm being serious. Okay, he's like, I'm like so you have to do it this way. You know, you really got to like prep. You got to do a lot of prep, right, you got to, you got to get the loop and you got to get it looser and you got to like do all these things. And I was like he's like here's the thing, I'm not sticking my finger in your butt. He's like poop comes out of there and I go I know honey. And he, I was like you can put like a butt plug in there or whatever. And he's like look, buy whatever you want and we'll do it if you want to do it. So like collect all your items that you gotta prep with, get your supplies, get your supplies and we'll try it. And he's like but I don't think you're gonna like it and I'm like I mean you might be right.
Speaker 2:My worry is that he is gonna like it, he's just not interested. He, yeah, yeah, he also thinks like I really don't want to hurt you, like he is very much in like some guys are more aggressive, not that he's not aggressive, but like it just like they, that's like their thing, like they just like I want to like grab you around and kind of like you know, all the seven, they like that and stuff. And Drew just really doesn't want to hurt me too. He was like I don't really need, like I could just have sex with you. What do I need to? Like put in your butt? So it's just like.
Speaker 2:And then like that hurts you, that literally hurts you, and I'm like I know, but maybe it's just like. And then like that hurts you, that literally hurts you, and I'm like I know, but maybe it feels good. So then I kind of had a conversation with you and you were like okay, this is what we have to do if you're going to do it. But I mean, I was thinking like we probably should do it Like when we're staying in a hotel or something. I don't know why.
Speaker 1:I think that I mean, here's the thing.
Speaker 2:Shit's not not gonna come flying out of your ass, okay, no not for the reason that the shit's flying out of my ass, like just so like I can be as loud as I want, or I could be like literally, my son's room is next to mine. Well, that's something, and it could just be like a thing that we're talking about or like I don't know. I just feel like it feels more private in a hotel room for us because we live in a house with four other people living there.
Speaker 1:And so Maybe you have sex all the time at your house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not saying like I'm quiet or anything, I just I don't know For some reason, I just feel like I just want to do that at a hotel. Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, and maybe here's the thing, so maybe also if you do it at a hotel and let's say like it, or he doesn't like yours. Okay, now you just leave that experience there. It's not like in your house, in your bed where you're like thinking about it the next time you have sex.
Speaker 2:It's just done Like oh, we didn't do that Also I might have romanticized it a little bit, like for my books, where, like they do the aftercare and they bring you in the bathtub and it's like this, all these things it's like. So then I don't have a bathtub. So I was like I want anal and a bathtub. Yeah, I need to soak after. Well, my butthole's going to hurt, it will Gaping hurting butthole and it goes back.
Speaker 1:Just so you know, it goes back. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean that's something that I keep saying. I want to try, but I mean I say a lot of things.
Speaker 2:And then I don't really want to do snowboarding. Ew well, my brothers go snowboarding a lot and I keep saying like I want to go and I want to bring rihanna with me and stuff, and I say that, but I don't think I really drew's like you don't want to do that and I go yeah, I just want to try it. He's like you're gonna do it for five minutes, you're gonna hate it, and then you'll be like I just want to go back and eat something and I'm like I know, I want to take pictures like I'm snowboarding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to take pictures like. I'm snowboarding. Yeah, I want to like have my snow bunny outfit on and have my board and be like.
Speaker 2:I want to do it in my bathing suit, just chasing some brush pow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know but that's it, and then I'm going to go back in.
Speaker 2:You did the surfing voice in the snow Brush pow, no, no, no. That's not how they sound.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Actually, we're going on a trip to tahoe at the end of next month. Um bentley and I are going on a trip with a family friend and she's bringing some friends and she snowboards and skis and so she's gonna like, try, she's gonna attempt to teach us she really wanted bentley was talking about. He wants to learn how to snowboard. So he's gonna try. Yeah, and I I'm gonna try, just so I could say that I've tried it. But yeah, just know and I'm worried.
Speaker 2:I'm worried which I've always been worried, because I work with my hands that I'm gonna hurt myself hurt my leg or hurt my hands and then be out of commission for six to eight weeks.
Speaker 2:So I think that is please don't do that. Yeah, so my brother always is like, uh, just buy the gloves with the wrist guards. And I looked them up and stuff and I was like I'll just buy those when I go with you guys, just fully padded. Anyways, back to our sex talk. So this is how you maximize your sex, maximalize your sex life.
Speaker 1:That's what this one is all about yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, and it's funny that you were saying, oh, like he doesn't want to hurt you. It reminded me of this guy. A couple years ago, I had this short, very short relationship with this guy, okay, and he was so nice, just the nicest guy.
Speaker 2:Which guy was this? Give me just a word, so I know which one this is.
Speaker 1:He's the one who had the golden retriever, but he was also a golden retriever, yeah, and he was tall and had a nice body.
Speaker 2:He was so hot. You said he was so hot, yeah, but he was also a golden retriever yeah, and he was tall and had a nice body, he was so hot.
Speaker 1:You said he was so hot. Yeah, it was so hot. Yeah, and um, also, he's 28 years old. Okay, so this is yeah, it was a. It was a situation where I was like, yeah, I'm probably not gonna date you for real, but he really wanted he had a lot of red flags.
Speaker 2:he did he don't know His house was messy, well, stuff like that.
Speaker 1:But he owned his own house. Yeah, he had a really good job.
Speaker 2:He did have a dog who was like and he was kind of erratic and like just didn't really understand scheduling and like stuff like that.
Speaker 1:He was, but not in like a way that was like violent at all.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it was just like he was kind of ditzy.
Speaker 1:It's like he was smart but really ditzy and kind of maybe. Yeah, so he was. He was, yeah, super, just like tall, worked out all the time, so hot and he would want to have the most boring sex ever. Like he only only exclusively wanted to do missionary, he just wanted to do it like slow, he just wanted to make love to you. He did, and then he always want. He would like kind of like stroking my face and just telling me, like all this stuff that I, you know it was nice like the first time.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say it's funny because earlier in the show you said I could do it missionary a lot. Right If it was like kissing and all that stuff, but you actually got tired of it.
Speaker 1:It was too much. Yeah, it was too much, like the first time I was like, oh, this is so sweet and I really like this. And then it was like okay, kidding me, and I had to like tell him, like, show him what to do, and he was I was like, just try it. And he was like I really don't want to do this wait.
Speaker 2:Are you guys having sex while you guys are saying this?
Speaker 1:uh, no, this was okay. This is before. This was like leading up to.
Speaker 2:He's like pumping your, just try. Well, no, no, I really don't want to. Yes, and his face is like I really don't want.
Speaker 1:No, he did okay so we talked about before and then during this, I was like okay, this like go, you know and I'm trying to tell him you're trying to like, give him the signal, the signal like go, just go for it. You know, and he, he wasn't. He put his hand. So he had his hand like in the kind of choking position, but it wasn't. It's like his hand was almost like hovering over my neck, it wasn't even like his hand shaking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, poor baby, and he's so tall and his hands are huge and it's like they're going all the way around my neck but like not even touching my skin and and he it's like he was wincing, a little like he was hate this and so I was like you know what, fucking forget it, just don't do it. Fine, it's fine. I just want to spice it up a little like can we do a different position.
Speaker 1:But he doesn't want to do doggy because he wants to look at me in the face. Oh, he's so sweet, he just want to look at me straight. So that was one. I couldn't really close my eyes. He always want went open your eyes.
Speaker 2:He's got to find a nice little virgin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that only wants that, yeah, so anyway. So that was one where I was like, well that's, and it sucked too, because man, he had a huge dick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean underutilized men like that, like that's, you know, like he has all the equipment and just cannot, you know.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, there's other guys who are well, you know they are under-equipped, but they know what to do, Do they Okay?
Speaker 2:Which one?
Speaker 1:So I mean I'm not talking like we're not talking micro-penises.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:But just you know, maybe they just have like a small to medium and they know but they know what's up.
Speaker 1:Some of them, not all, but you know, um, yeah, and then another thing I really like, though, like I really like wearing lingerie you do, I do yeah and maybe it's because, okay, I kind of like to dress up and do stuff, but I also like it and maybe this is a bad thing, but I like to wear it because, um, how my like the way I feel about how my body looks is. I don't have any issues with how my body looks, other than I have like scarring from like past surgeries and stuff and some scars on my boobs because I had a breast reduction and lift like years ago, and all this stuff and the scars. I hate them and I always feel like the most self-conscious about those. So when I'm wearing a little outfit, it just covers those.
Speaker 1:But a lot of times, guys don't really. It's like they want you to wear that, but then they just want to take it off right away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, drew's never really been into it. We just never really had that. Like I always just wore like t-shirts to bed and he always liked that I would wear his t-shirts to bed and, um, I mean that's a running theme, I think in a lot of the books too. Like the guy always likes to watch oh, you're wearing my t-shirt or whatever, especially the sports guys.
Speaker 2:It seems like they like that. But, um, yeah, I always wear t-shirts I never really, you know. But last thanksgiving I wore a little. I was wearing this little skirt and I wore these like knee high, um, above the knee stockings, and then I had these cute like little garter with this, you know, with the garter belt and stuff, and I would just like pop my skirt up and show Drew like throughout the day and I thought it was so sexy and he just was like, yeah, I mean it's fine.
Speaker 1:Oh no, yeah, because he was just like I just really want, just take it off, just be naked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean we sleep naked now because it's just easy access for everyone Sometimes. I sleep naked now, because it's just easy access for everyone.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I'll just like grab his dick. You know, yeah, yeah, just grab it. Yeah, I just grab it. I just want to hold it. I just want to hold it while I'm sleeping. It's like my little teddy bear. I'm just like holding his dick. No, or I love when I'm like sleeping and I wake up in the morning and then I like it's a little joke in my own head I turn over to like put my hand on him and then I could feel his dick or whatever, and I'm like oh my God, it's so hard already. Jesus, I thought you were sleeping, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Look at you being so aggressive right now? That's so fucking funny, but really he's sleeping.
Speaker 1:He's sleeping. Yeah, can't help it Can you feel it?
Speaker 2:Can you feel it this?
Speaker 1:is happening.
Speaker 2:You're just sleeping like this. You're ready to go. Yeah, I think it's so funny, you know, when you sleep naked like that, which is a very new thing for us. I never felt I would be comfortable to sleep naked or anything.
Speaker 1:It's only been like the last six months where, when I we just talked about it, I was like what if we just sleep naked and there's always access?
Speaker 2:and he's like, yeah, let's do it easier. Yeah, I like it, yeah. So it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1:It's really cold getting in bed. Yeah, that's the worst part yeah, because I have.
Speaker 2:I need a fan on because. I need the noise I need the noise and I like the air blowing on my face constantly and so I just get naked and I like basically jump in the bed because I'm like, oh my god, so cold out there yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I know that will. So laundry is one thing, but what about like dirty talk? Oh so I think when we're reading our smutty books, we like to read that right like we like to read these characters saying all these things and you know, you got your little book boyfriends in your head that you're like oh, that's so hot there, but in real life it's a little different for me also.
Speaker 2:I don't want it to be so repetitive. I think the best books that I've read isn't where they just keep saying good girl every time or like this every time, like I don't mind that, but it's like, how many times are you gonna tell her that pick? A pick a new thing.
Speaker 1:I do not in real life. I hate good. If you say good girl to me, I'll chomp on your dick yeah, I'll bite down hard.
Speaker 2:Drew says it to me outside of the bedroom sometimes like I, and it's like on accident, like he'll just I'll be like, oh, I did this. He's like good and he's like good girl, and I go oh, my God, you're naughty. I was like, yeah, I got it. That's what you said to me. Right now, you know like I put my laundry away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I tell the guys if they I'm like the one thing I cannot do. Do not ask me to call you daddy. I'll literally throw up up.
Speaker 2:I will literally throw up on you yeah, the daddy thing, not really for me. Here's the thing. No, we're not shaming anyone's kinks like no, no, no for anyone, just, whatever you want to do, I go for it. I think I read the most awfulest books and I think they're hot. I mean some really horrible things like I'm like I don't know how people read this or write this, because they're so disgusting.
Speaker 1:So I'm for everything, but yeah, I mean for my I'm for everything other than pedophilia.
Speaker 2:Two consenting adults.
Speaker 1:Anything that two consenting adults want to do. I'm all about.
Speaker 2:Yeah, please.
Speaker 1:Maybe it might not be for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So these are the things that are not for us and that we can't maximize. Our maximize, we wouldn't add these to our repertoire. Yeah, yeah, sorry, no, I can't.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I just don't like that.
Speaker 2:Okay, the daddy thing.
Speaker 1:Well, and I just have daddy issues.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean same, so that's probably why the thing embarrassed to do the sexy talk. Yeah, yeah, I think I think it's hard to find your own words right. Like that, you feel comfortable like using that, you, I fear. But I also think that Drew doesn't give a shit that, um, I don't do sexy talk enough or well enough. If I had a partner that really wanted that, I'd probably struggle through that where drew's just like, it's always just like. We're always just ourselves. So he would never put pressure on me like I want him to do me in the butt. He would never put pressure on me to like do something I didn't want to do or something. So, yeah, I think that I don't have to do it more than what I'm comfortable with, but I don't think I would be comfortable with too much more than what I do already yeah, because I mean some people, I mean that is like that's such a turn on for them and they want you to say all this stuff.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, oh yeah, because it's like sometimes I'll say things if I know it's what someone wants me to say, but then I hear myself saying it and I'm like oh, I think by the time you tune into yourself too much and you and you're just like Yuck, wait, okay, tell a story about the guy who he would just say.
Speaker 2:I can't remember how he would say it, but he would just say something like how long do you want me to fuck you?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Tell us a story. How would that work? Okay, okay, so, because that's just like, why yeah?
Speaker 2:he would ask me that's you so this, this uh guy. My time with this guy was very short-lived and he wanted you to call him poppy. Which you're just like, I'm just like a white lady, and you want me to call you poppy, he would always want me to call him that, or he would refer to himself as poppy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't do that either. And I was like this is what we're doing. We're just talking about ourselves in third person while we're fucking. Yeah, it's not good. Okay, so that was. That was very short-lived, that was a very quick turnaround, um, but yeah, he would be like he would. It's like we're in the middle of having sex and it's going well. Like the thing is, he was really good at all the things and it was really good, but then it was soon as he opened his fucking mouth yeah, he would ruin it.
Speaker 1:And I would be like, why do you have to talk? Just don't. Why would you have to talk? Shut your mouth, yeah, and you shut your fucking mouth, yeah, I should have said that. And so he would do all this weird stuff. And then he would ask me how long, how long you want me to fuck you? And I'd be like what, uh, like what, how do you answer that? And so, and so the first couple times he asked me, I just like ignored him. I think we're literally in the middle of having sex, and so I kind of just acted like I didn't hear him right, right, and he wouldn't let it go like he would ask me and then he would kind of say it louder or he would like look at me.
Speaker 1:You know kind of like, try to get me to look at him, and then he would kind of say it louder. Or he would like look at me. You know, kind of like try to get me to look at him and then be like tell me how long you want me to fuck you. No, and I'm like I don't know the fuck you want me to say, and so I started laughing, which you know is fucking rude but I started laughing because I was like what do you mean?
Speaker 1:he's like tell me how long. And I'm like okay, so this is where you go. I'm just gonna say something so that he shuts the fuck up.
Speaker 2:So I'm like all night that how you said it too.
Speaker 1:All night, all night because I'm like is that what you mean, you know, and he's like no no, no, no, no, what, no, what, what? Do you mean? What are you saying? He goes no, for how long? And I'm like what the fuck? That is a length of time. That is a length, that's a duration. Okay, giving you okay, and one hour.
Speaker 2:What do you want me to say here, you?
Speaker 1:want me to fuck you for the rest of your life?
Speaker 2:I don't think so first of all, I Excuse me. I don't think so First of all.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure I don't think so I don't, I don't, but I'm not. You know, I don't want to say that right, I'm just like I mean, yeah, I guess, Like what do you? It's just stuff like that where I'm like, don't make what, you're asking me and I shouldn't have that, shouldn't be a wrong response all night all night. Good enough, I don't really want to go all night either. No, this is fine. Actually, I'm done now that you open your mouth oh, I can't like that's so funny to me.
Speaker 2:And this funny thing is, when you told that story before, I would think about it later and I would just go. This fool really just said like I want to forever, forever. Are we doing a marriage proposal right now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Is this how you're proposing to me? Where's the ring bitch?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did not like that. His dick is the ring.
Speaker 1:So that was a weird one. I didn't like that Also. Okay, so I do kind of like it. So again, you can't do it too much. You can't do things too much. Things, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do like it, especially like this one guy, like he would be more sensual, whatever it was. The same guy that does like the off the bed position he's really great.
Speaker 1:So he will do like he would do, kind of like he's looking at me and talk, like he'll talk to me a little bit, but it's like he's like like talking kind of soft and he'll just be like you're so beautiful or say this stuff that like saying it out loud now sounds so cringy but it doesn't sound, it's not cringy when he says it and in the moment I'm like and so I really like that.
Speaker 1:But I don't like. I don't like when guys want to talk dirty to me like poppy guy, um, I'm not calling you that and or they say stuff like they're trying to like fuck you really hard and they're just like yeah, I'm trying to, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, you want me to fuck this pussy?
Speaker 2:ew, ew, ew, ew. I don't want you. No, I don't really need you to fuck my pussy right now. Say that, yeah, it's so aggressive. I mean, here's the thing. I yes, there's a time and place for things, but like that doesn't do it for me.
Speaker 1:I just I'm just like all right, well, we're done, we're done here, all right, go ahead, and then let's be done yeah yeah, go for it. The other thing too is I don't like, I just don't like. I guess terms of ownership and I don't like when they say stuff like that, like tell me, tell me, it's mine, that's mine you belong to me and again no, you're not my husband, you're not yeah you're nothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm trying to think, even with Drew and I, he doesn't ever go. This is my pussy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is yours, sure, but you don't have to say it.
Speaker 2:It's just weird. It's just weird Right.
Speaker 1:Or if I have had a guy say, like in the other way, like, is this your dick?
Speaker 2:No, and I'm like.
Speaker 1:I don't want to claim ownership over your penis. That's your dick, you can keep it. Yeah, I'll just use it sometimes, but over your penis.
Speaker 2:That's your dick, you can keep it. Yeah, I'll just use it sometimes, but thank you. I can't believe he said is this your dick? Is this your?
Speaker 1:dick Ew.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Sometimes they just be saying some weird stuff. So the talking thing it's, it's hit or miss. I wonder.
Speaker 2:Okay, I want people to DM us and message us. I and I really want to hear this conversation from other women Like is it an ick? Is the whole thing an ick? You know, are there certain things that you like? Are there certain things you don't like? What's?
Speaker 1:your thing that guys say to you yeah.
Speaker 2:Or even that you feel comfortable saying Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I feel like I have a few, like I have a few phrases that I say yeah, and I just rotate through. Mine are pretty generic.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, for sure yeah.
Speaker 1:But it's like I just have a couple and I feel like they work on most guys.
Speaker 2:And mine is probably more of like what I'm feeling Mm so good, those kind of things, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:No, I say I have a couple that I just use if I want to just wrap it up. Mm when I go I know, if I say these things, he'll just, he'll come pretty quick and then we can just so. I only will really use it if I'm like I don't we need this to end yeah, I gotta.
Speaker 2:This is too long. I gotta go. I'll see you later. You just got your watch on.
Speaker 1:You're like I gotta go pick up my time soon yeah, wrap it up, please, let's go yeah so, yeah, I definitely want to hear from you guys. Yeah, what are your thoughts? On dirty talk and what are some things that you like being said to you, or things that maybe someone has said to you or still does. Maybe it's your husband and you are like I hate that.
Speaker 2:I hate when he says that yeah, because I mean I think that telling your husband you hate something in bed, you kind of feel bad. Yeah, you can't. I mean you should be able to just like when you tell him what you want and how you want it, like you should be. Like I don't really like when you say this, but it is. How can you get the courage to do that?
Speaker 1:Well, I think I have realized it's okay. Two things part of aftercare yeah having this open dialogue? Oh, I think so too. I think that's a huge part of aftercare that a lot of people don't consider and they don't do, and so you just have sex and then you're just like done. And then you just kind of like, whatever, you go on to whatever it is you're doing, or you just go on to like, oh, now we're just talking about the kids and laundry and shit like that.
Speaker 1:And it really is such a different ending when you can sit there with this person that you just had this whole intimate experience with and talk about what just happened, because you kind of come down, it's like you're in this moment you're in this moment and then it just like a quick, like deflating at the end and sometimes it can leave you feeling a little I almost like lonely in a way, depending on your experience and depending on how the experience ends, especially if you have a really good experience in the bedroom and then at the end it just kind of like, let's say, you're having sex with someone and they're very, they're saying all these things oh, you're so beautiful and you're just having this like great emotional connection during this physical connection, and then right afterwards, I mean they just kind of bounce and like go to the bathroom and just kind of leave you hanging and and you're like it makes you question everything that just happened, or you just kind of feel used or things like that.
Speaker 1:So I do think that part of aftercare that a lot of people don't consider is just the communication and just just kind of a little debrief.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so your tip is to leave a review after Five stars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let them know you after five stars. Yeah, and you could say, like I like to start it off by asking like kind of, like a like, well, how was that for you?
Speaker 2:of course you do. You love to do embarrassing things.
Speaker 1:I love it. I mean not that we don't talk about it.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, I, especially if it was exceptional. I like to give a little extra at the end. But for me, well, because we are in a relationship already and, like you know, it's probably a little bit normal for us. It's like the next day. I like to bring it up.
Speaker 1:No, I want to talk about it right now.
Speaker 2:When you're like at work, you're not thinking about it, but then you know that someone else is thinking about you in that way Like I'll just text them and I'll just be like man, last night was pretty fucking hot like it was so like great, or like you did this or like you know whatever, and I think that that is just that little kind of sexual currency the next day, that kind of puts it out there deposit yeah, yeah, and I think that I think for me that's the way that you know.
Speaker 1:I like that, mm-hmm, I like that yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I want.
Speaker 1:I like that. Yeah, I think I want to know Like I'll ask them sometimes. Yeah, and this isn't you know always, and it's not like, obviously, with some of your sexual Well.
Speaker 2:You're always trying to improve too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can I get some constructive feedback? Yeah, that's why you're trying to get a review.
Speaker 2:Can you give my Google review?
Speaker 1:Let me know how that was for you. I do and I want to like. Okay, so here's an example Like if something happens and you want to like, bring up that specific thing.
Speaker 2:I want to talk about it right after I know.
Speaker 1:So, um, so this okay Same guy I'm going to talk about this, this same guy that I have brought up a couple of times now. This is your Mr Monday. Yeah, okay, okay. So one time we're having sex and and so sometimes I do like have my vibrator, and he knows like I like to do that at the end, with the behind and whatever.
Speaker 1:So we're in the middle, it's like at the end of the sex, and we're doing doggy style and and I didn't know where the fuck my vibrator was. It was somewhere on the bed, but I couldn't really like find it. And so in the middle of this and he's like kind of being aggressive a little bit in like a fun way, I was like I kind of, I was like trying to get his attention, but he like I don't know, didn't hear me or whatever. And so I finally was like I said, hey, where's my vibrator? And he starts busting up laughing. He's like, oh, okay, and then he like found it and handed it to me and then like kept going with it. But then it made me think during the whole end of it I was like, was that rude? Was he just like, did he? Did it come off like, hey, this isn't enough for me. Can you get my?
Speaker 1:toy I didn't think of it like that yeah, yeah so at the end I brought it up when we were talking and I was because I was like, oh, how was that for you? And he was like saying whatever. And I said is it, do you not enjoy if I use my toy? Does it make you feel some type of way? Or? And he was like what? No, why would you think that? And I'm like, well, just now, you know, I was like hey, where is it? And you just like laughed and he's like oh, I just was like really into what was happening. And then you were like where's my toy? I don't know, it just like threw me off. And so I just was like really into what was happening. And then you're like where's my toy? I don't know it just like threw me off. And so I just laughed because it was funny. But no, it doesn't bother me at all, but just like that's what I mean where, because maybe it's something that does bother them right.
Speaker 2:They're like well, isn't this?
Speaker 1:yeah, like you said, they might enough, yeah, they might have this feeling where I do feel like a lot of guys have. Uh, some guys have that feeling where they're like, oh, like, if you need the help of a sex toy to get like, that means I'm inadequate at my job no, it's literally just like it's my anatomy.
Speaker 2:It's nothing, yeah, I mean, here's the thing. It's just. It's just like if you could have a big penis or whatever. You want a smaller penis too. Yeah, it's not your fault.
Speaker 1:Whatever your dick size is, it's also not my fault that I might need a vibrator to get off yeah, like some girls squirt and some don't, yeah, it's just like.
Speaker 2:That's just like how our bodies work. So it's like, why wouldn't you want to get? I mean, uh, I had a friend put this in the simplest terms and I never really thought about it the whole point of sex is to get us both off as many times, as good as it can be. Like that's a whole fucking point of sex is to get us off. So why aren't we all maximizing this experience for each other, for ourselves and for each other, instead of just like being selfish, which I think is the problem with a lot of people with sex? Like you can't be selfish, yeah, like you can't be selfish, yeah, like you can't be selfish, even in a girl. Like you just think that you could just lay there selfishly and like they have to do all the work. Like that isn't any fun for him, you know. Like, and the same for him. Like you think that I should suck your dick and I should learn how to suck your dick, but you can't like eat my pussy correctly. Like that doesn't make any fucking sense to me, right?
Speaker 1:come on, yeah we both want to get off.
Speaker 2:Let's help each other.
Speaker 1:It's a better experience for the both of us easy so yeah, I think it's just like an ego thing for some guys too, where they feel like I hate that. So yeah, it just depends, but I that's why I like to just kind of bring some stuff up you like your google review. I just want to know, like was that okay for you? Did you not like? Because I want. If that is something that bothers you, like I want to talk about it and know and just like know where this person's coming from, because I do want it to be a good
Speaker 2:experience for them too yeah, I think with Drew and I we do like these little check-ins with each other. We we get a little drunk, we sit outside and not necessarily just sex, but it happened, we talk about that too, like is there anything more that you want?
Speaker 1:But it's in like just our relationship too, but like, and so those come up kind of regularly for us to like kind of like check in with each other, to see I was going to say, um, you know talking about so you've been together for like 25 years forever and I think what's difficult when, back when we were talking about, sometimes it's hard to communicate things to your partner that you don't really like that they say or do or whatever.
Speaker 1:I think it's not always that you feel like you can't say it's that you waited too long to say yeah, I think so too, because yeah let's say you have been like let's say you were have been with this person for 10 years, or you're married and you have kids now and you've been doing the same thing during sex this whole time. How do you now say, hey, I don't really like when you do this, or I would appreciate if you started doing this and without it, without it making that person feel like you just let me do this for 10 years and never said anything about it?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think the go-around is like you try to switch it up somehow, like I want you to. I want to try this, yeah, and then you go. You know, I kind of like this better than this other thing.
Speaker 2:That's a good way you kind of you know, because I think you're completely right. It's like you because so there's this episode of Gilmore Girls and one Suki on there and she says, like they her and her boyfriend went out one time and she happened. She was really nervous and she was like, oh, I like this little frog, or whatever, and I don't know if this is the story exactly, but it went something like this. And and then now he just buys her these little frogs all the time, and so she's like now I'm the frog girl and now I have to always be the frog girl. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So now you're the girl that, like you, have to call your your husband, daddy all the time yeah, I have to say poppy all the time and you're just like I kind of don't like it. I hate that actually. Yeah, whatever, it is like, you become frog girl. You're always frog girl, but now you just need to go. Hey, do you want to try unicorns? Oh, you know what? I think unicorns are better than frogs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I kind of get to switch it up after 25 years you know and I think it's hard to it's heavily reliant on how emotionally intelligent your partner is. That's tough Because it's really tough if they don't have a high EQ and they're not capable of having conversations where they're okay with acknowledging the fact that people grow and evolve and change, and maybe it is something you did like in the beginning, actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you could say like I really liked it and just my body changed, or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just don't anymore, and it is. It's more difficult to have conversations with a partner that isn't as open.
Speaker 2:And you need to recognize that you should be able to be open to the criticism too. Oh for sure, right, like you, I mean that's like you're saying your Google reviews, but like if you want to tell your partner something, you should also ask them.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, is there anything that I can do for you, and maybe that's how you start the conversation? Yeah, it is hard, it's hard.
Speaker 2:A compliment sandwich. Right, that's how you start Compliment sandwich. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's tough, it's really tough, and for sure, the longer you've been with someone, the harder these conversations are. But I think it's super important to do, because otherwise, what's the other option? You're just going to live the rest of your life what's the other option?
Speaker 2:you're just gonna live the rest of your life boring sex, boring sex, boring life, or some things that you don't like or and you don't realize that like having those pleasures and creating that intimacy of being able to communicate with someone creates like this, like stronger bond for sure right where you just feel better in your relationship and you, you know your relationship can build on that alone.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Yeah, I agree with that 100%.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, this has been a really fun episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, super slutty.
Speaker 1:You know, I almost wish, and maybe we'll do this we have kind of discussed. Potentially, if we ever can get to the point where we can consistently put out two episodes a week, maybe we'll put out one kind of regular episode and one spicy one a week.
Speaker 2:Ooh, I love that.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's what we'll do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love the spicy ones.
Speaker 1:They're just so much more.
Speaker 2:I mean, they're not more real. Everything we're trying to say here is real, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, it's like we're saying the things. It is we're trying to say here is real, but yeah, well, it's like we're saying more taboo it is it's more taboo and saying the things that a lot of people just you just don't want to say, like it's stuff you think about but again, you don't want to bring stuff up with your partner, or you don't, or you feel the thing with sex too, with with women in particular, is you, don't? You maybe you think that you are the only like.
Speaker 2:You're weird that's what I'm saying. Like you're weird for wanting to have sex, for wanting to like do these things to tell him to touch you instead of like him just always being the one like men need that too, for you to like come on to them, but you feel like you're not supposed to, you're supposed to be such the girl like that, like kind of ingrained into things that you want to try, or like things that you feel like you're not supposed to.
Speaker 1:You're supposed to be such the girl like that, like kind of ingrained into things that you want to try or like things that you're like oh I'm so interested in this, but like, maybe it's kind of weird and maybe I shouldn't bring that up.
Speaker 2:And, like you, having him choke you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah and it's, and yeah he, it wasn't it didn't land well, I'll say that, right, right right, but I, that's okay. Like I am glad that I brought it up and was like, hey, this is what I want to do, and had that been a relationship that you know lasted longer, that would have been a much bigger conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Over time and yeah, but there's no room in life for shitty sex.
Speaker 2:No, you should be having fun sex. That's the whole point of it. Yeah, have fun. Yeah, it's an extracurricular activity.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, have fun and it's something you it's just like anything else in life. You just have to put more effort into like getting better, like if you just keep doing the same thing every time and you're not like flexing these sexual intimacy like muscles yeah, I think, like we always say, like boys should have to take classes okay, real quick. What are we wrap? I keep seeing this facebook. I don't know they're targeting me you had kind of had some.
Speaker 2:I don't know what you're gonna say, but my first initial thing is they're targeting because they know that you have seen some small penises lately and they suck Jesus.
Speaker 1:There's a website and it's, I believe it's not like a subscription model, I think, because I clicked on it. That's why they're retargeting these ads to me.
Speaker 1:I clicked on it. It's called OMG yes and it's specifically this like research, whatever around women's pleasure and sex and they have like videos, they have like tutorials. They have all this stuff and it's like a lot of people, they it's like a. They say it's like a netflix for like sex tutorials and then you but you watch it like the way that they kind of advertise. It is like you're watching these videos like with your partner and talking about and being like that's exactly what I was trying to tell you, Like that's what I want you to do, but I didn't know how to like show you or it's kind of awesome and it has really good reviews. I haven't like subscribed to it or whatever, but it looks really awesome. It's called OMG yes, so maybe check that out.
Speaker 2:But yeah, yeah, that seems fun. I mean, that's the thing People should go to school a little bit to learn how to have sex. Yeah, come on, if you care, give some lessons. If you care about being better at it for yourself and your partner, then you should.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, we are looking forward to getting your DMs. Yeah, I want to hear some spicy stories. Give us some spicy stories, or not? Or some cringy stories are the best ones.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or things that you like, sex things, that kind of like. Give you the ick, dirty talk stuff that you like or that you don't like. Tell us all of it. We can't wait to hear. Yeah, so send us a DM on Instagram at maximalist life podcast and we will see you next time. Tits up, dick out.