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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 10 - Know Your Worth: Spotting Red Flags & Embracing Green Ones
Episode Summary:
We’re talking red flags, green flags, and all the wild in-between. Whether it’s dating, friendships, or work, we’ve all seen the warning signs—and maybe ignored a few (oops). In this episode, we’re sharing personal stories, hard lessons, and real talk on setting boundaries, recognizing toxic patterns, and actually appreciating the green flags when we see them.
- The biggest red flags in dating & friendships
- Why communication (or lack of it) says everything
- Spotting 🚩 in online dating profiles before it’s too late
- Navigating toxic work relationships & collabs
- Checking yourself: Are you someone’s red flag?
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Welcome to maximalist life. I'm your host, brianna, and I'm Tamika, and today we're going to talk about red and green flags. Yeah, so I mean, there's all kinds of red flags in different areas of your life. It could be relationships, friendships, it could even be at work, yeah, or like business partnerships, people you collaborate with, maybe. Um, yeah, there's so many different areas of your life to look for red flag. I think the most important thing is knowing when to look for red flags and when to know when to like create a boundary for yourself. Um, but let's talk about some of them, okay, um, what do you think are some red flags?
Speaker 2:So many red flags out there, um, so if we're talking like relationship red flags, I think that, um, I don't know, if you first start dating someone and they do these things, I feel like ugh. Okay, first of all, I mean here, let's, can we start, start with a funny one instead of going straight. So serious, yeah, so serious.
Speaker 1:Wait, okay, what if we do? What if we look up some red flags?
Speaker 2:Okay, because I have some in my mind that I can think of that I know are like I want to, okay, so here's what I was thinking a couple times If the guy doesn't know how to barbecue the barbecue, if he can't cook or barbecue, I mean, who taught you life? I mean, here's the thing People don't have parents, I get it, but then what? You're just like eating, like macaroni and cheese and ramen noodle, yeah, like no. You need to figure out how you're going to feed yourself and another person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure it's a huge problem, okay, that reminds me okay of now. I'm not trying to talk shit, okay. Okay, you know I have a good relationship with my son's dad, okay, but I'm gonna say this about him for a minute okay, this was a red flag when we yeah, yeah so he was living in the dorms, um, and I went to go visit him.
Speaker 1:Okay, I went to go visit him at his little dorm room and he was doing laundry. Oh no, First of all, the first red, first red flag to me is if you don't separate any of your laundry, that's how Drew was too when I first met him, given he was only 15.
Speaker 2:okay, so well, this boy was 19, yeah he was 19, which you're living outside the house now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you should figure it out. That's a red flag to me. But the biggest red flag was he didn't know that there was a difference between laundry detergent and fabric softener. He just throwing it all together. No, he only used fabric softener because he said it smells better. Cleaning his clothes, he said, well, this, these ones, this one smells better.
Speaker 2:And I was like, just softening dirty, yeah, I was like all right, well, yeah, men that can't do laundry, that's a huge thing, unless they're doing a laundry service all the time. Sure, okay, but yeah, the laundry thing. I mean people that can't do basic household, domestic things.
Speaker 1:I think is a problem Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, at 40 years old you shouldn't be having to teach people this.
Speaker 1:I mean, I feel like as soon as you move out of the house, that's something you should already know, or at least like if you didn't have, like you said you don't, you didn't live with parents who were like I don't know, taught you stuff, or were around. That's whatever, but like if you lived on your own for at least a year, you should want to do some basic Like how are you making it through life With soft clothes, soft and dirty? Clothes.
Speaker 2:I can't believe that shit oh my god yeah, it was pretty good pretty good yeah, I mean cooking and cleaning and stuff you got to pull it together. Yeah, I think so okay.
Speaker 1:So red flags. If we're on the topic of relationships, okay. If we want to talk about when you first meet someone, okay so when you're on a dating app. Yeah, there are okay so many red flags yeah for flags when you're looking, swiping through profiles, Okay, Okay. First red flag to look for is if they don't have anything written in their bio, they just skip that part. Or they say or they put a little line that says just ask.
Speaker 2:That's just like raw dogging it out there, Just like hopefully people like my photo.
Speaker 1:I thought nobody's hot enough to not need a bio.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nobody.
Speaker 1:And have you ever swiped on any of those?
Speaker 1:No, okay, that's one of my for sure, I go no, you can't even be bothered to fill this thing out. Yeah, okay, my only, I guess my only exception is at least on Bumble. It tells you if it's a new, like a brand new profile, I don't know how long that counts. If it's a new, like a brand new profile, I don't know how long that uh counts, like I don't know. If it's like seven days, the little tag goes away. But if it's a brand new profile, I go okay, maybe they're still filling it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe they're like they just, they just like got the guts to like make it and they're like I'm just gonna make it, but I can't even like, yeah, sit here and fill all this shit out yet. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So that's a maybe I might um, the other thing is, if they are not smiling in any of their photos, they're so stoic or they think they're hard. Oh, because what I think is number one it tells me you're not fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need you to be a little silly sometimes.
Speaker 1:And number two it tells me you may or may not have teeth. Number two it tells me you may or may not have teeth. Oh no, they don't have any teeth. I just don't know. I just don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh no, yeah, they just got gums. They're just like chewing, just some gums.
Speaker 1:Okay. The other thing is in your photos, if they're all selfies, only selfies, you have zero photos, photos where some like there's no other people in your photos, or no photos where you could tell someone else took a photo of you. Because I think, what do you do in your life? What are you? Are you going out places? Do you have friends? Yeah, do you. I know it's a little different.
Speaker 1:Just think that all their friends take their friends take ugly photos of them well, that is true, I'm, but the other thing is they, friends, take ugly photos of them. Well, that is true, I mean. But the other thing is they always take ugly photos of themselves because they're always taking photos under their chin yeah, come on, you guys it's the same and we talked about this before the dick pics.
Speaker 2:That's always like below the bad angles it's so bad. Why are we taking these photos?
Speaker 1:no one told you yeah, I don't know, but um, or my last thing is when they spend the majority of their time in what they're writing on their bio or another prompt telling me what I should be, or like ranting about profiles give me some examples like if, if they, okay, so they'll say one is always like if you're a liberal hippie, swipe left.
Speaker 1:And I'm like okay, I mean, if you are conservative that's fine and you don't, but like, why do you waste a whole point of a dating profile is it should sell you. You should be selling yourself to me. And you just saying something like that, not only am I definitely not going to like swipe on you at all, whether I was conservative or liberal or whatever. Yeah, I like. Now I don't. You're taking time away from you. Could be telling me positive things about yourself Also. You kind of come off like a dick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you're judgmental, yeah, so I just don't like that. I mean, I keep going for days and days and days about red flags and dating profiles, but those are my top for sure. Hate it yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, those seem like really simple things not to do, though.
Speaker 1:Well, and I feel like there's so many like memes and TikToks about all this stuff and guys still are doing this shit. They don't get it. I mean, maybe girls are too, I don't know I don't see what girls' profiles look like.
Speaker 2:I was going to say I bet on the other side men have plenty of things to say about what girls say and do on their things. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, I do see a lot of times guys will say one of the little ranty things that they say They'll be like if all your photos have filters, then don't bother.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:I can see how people do that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the filter thing, but you're gonna have a couple, maybe just natural photos, something, or at least your full body, yeah, yeah, your full body needs to be on there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't? Guys too, like I, can't just only see pictures of your face yeah, just this.
Speaker 2:Do you have a body? Yeah, literally just around, framed completely around your face is a little square.
Speaker 1:I hate that so much yeah it's like a driver's license, just like this A passport photo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you can't smile. Yeah, oh God, I hate that. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Okay, Then like okay, so I obviously I'm not really on any dating apps or anything. I hope not.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I guess a really like for me red flags, like in relationships, like you know, in marriages or relationships, stuff like that, which I mean this is really nice for me to say and it's kind of a little braggy. I mean, my husband doesn't really have a ton of them, yeah, Right, you know, because I wouldn't be with him, Right, so then he just, yeah, I'd be like I can't be with you. No, so, but thinking about relationships, like if your husband does this or something, you need to go to therapy. Okay, Like if you can't communicate with your husband, I guess this is my own red flag.
Speaker 2:I get angry and then I just like, kind of pop off a little bit. Where Drew's so calm, yeah, so I mean he knows these are my red flags, right, he's so calm, calm, and he apologizes and like it takes me a second, I just really gotta gather myself and then I can like, okay, I'm sorry you know, but like sometimes the communication, like to not be able to communicate with your partner on like whatever it is, anything, yeah, and to not be able to say something and instead they get so angry with you or they just completely shut down. Like my worst thing is if you if I can't communicate with you, like tell you something and then we can't talk. We don't talk for two weeks. I'll just walk right out the door.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't give the cold shoulder.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and even though, like, maybe there's times where Drew and I haven't talked for a day or two, you still have to be able to communicate like with your regular life. So while it's like, oh, I don't really want to hang out with you right now, but it can't be like, hey, what are we having for dinner or what are we doing with the kids, and then you just don't say anything. Yeah, what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's crazy, right. Otherwise known is stonewalling. Yeah, that's a super toxic tree. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, um, and we've talked about this a little bit before. So in relationships, I like, if something's wrong, like I want to talk about it right now and there's people who want to talk about it right now, and then there's people who need some time to like decompress and then they can come back to the situation. My biggest thing is if you cannot just communicate that right now is not the time, yeah, you have to at least be able to say, hey, I'm not in, like, I'm not ready to talk yet.
Speaker 1:I'm not in the space to do this. Okay, that's fine. I just need to know that you can't just ignore me like a child because it infestors within yourself like you know, you get resent, I really want to talk, I really want to talk.
Speaker 2:And then you're like why can't you just at least talk to me?
Speaker 1:mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it would feel better if at least they would say that they don't say that.
Speaker 1:They don't say that. But I do opposite of that is I hate the person that goes are you okay?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was okay until you asked me fucking ten times and now I'm not fucking okay. Like I can see why men get upset when women just keep going. Are you okay? Are you mad at me? Are you this? And I'm like that is such an annoying trait to me. It's so fucking annoying. Like, leave me the fuck alone. I am absolutely not okay with you asking me the same fucking question all the time. I hate that.
Speaker 1:Well, and I do get a little bit like you know I told you this before I can't really, you know, time together is not my love language, so sometimes I do get irritated easily. I get a little irritable with when I'm around someone too much and I feel like I'm getting smothered. But what I do is I'll just kind of shut down, not in like, in like, I mean, I don't think it's in a bad way, where I'm just I'm not a talkative, but I'm not gonna. I'm not ignoring you, but I'm just I'm not. You can tell that I'm kind of like all right, and I just need someone to under time just, yeah, understand that.
Speaker 1:I just need my space and it has nothing to do with you. You're not doing any. It's me being a bitch for being annoying. Yeah, you like breathing, um, so I just need someone that is understanding of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because sometimes it's like I just need to correct my attitude. So I just need to, like, just go inside myself for a second, correct my attitude and then come back out and then I'm okay. But when you just keep asking me if I'm fucking okay, I'm pissed.
Speaker 1:Now I'm really mad. Yeah, yeah, now I you know. Don't fucking talk to me for two weeks now, okay, fuck yeah. I know I hate that. I know you just have to understand. It's like you have to understand the things that your partner needs and be able to navigate that in a way that works best for both of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like knowing people's love languages like. This is how they deal with it.
Speaker 2:So you know and it's hard to do that because you're like, well, this is not how I usually deal with it, but if it we're going to have best case scenario, it's that we have to have like some sort of understanding with each other and I don't.
Speaker 1:And it doesn't mean that, however, whatever they want, like if they, you know, let's say that they do just ignore you for two weeks that doesn't mean that that's okay and that doesn't mean you have to accept that. But if it's something reasonable, even if it's like, oh, I don't really like it, it's not really how I would do things but if it's something you know they're're not being toxic, they're not being like in any way, like, you know, verbally abusive or any other type of okay, then you can work it out and that's yeah even with the like you're not talking for two weeks or whatever.
Speaker 2:obviously there is something wrong with your partner that your partner needs to like seek help, because if the way that they communicate is that they can completely shut down like that's what they feel like they need is to shut down and not be around you or the world for two weeks, they need to go seek help to like figure out why they're doing those types of things.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so that's what kind of sucks, too, is I always feel like while people do stuff like this, and then I always think about like well, maybe it's because this happened to them, or maybe I feel like I do that a lot, and so I, and then I feel bad for them. A little bit you know, and so I think that you just have to, like I don't know, you got to figure out how you can, like penetrate into their like yeah, into their, like you know, emotions or something and help them understand why they're doing the things that they're doing.
Speaker 1:Okay the key takeaway is figure out how to penetrate them. Okay, I was listening to a podcast recently and the lady was saying something to the effect of if someone's angry with her or they're acting out like lashing out in some way, she just pictures them as an eight-year-old child. Okay, because she's like, whatever the way that they're acting, or these so-called red flags or whatever like it stems from something.
Speaker 1:Right, you know a lot of times, especially what you're talking about, it does stem from some possible like childhood trauma or something, and so she just pictures them as being this like hurt little kid. Yeah, and then it just stops her being angry because then she just feels bad, yeah, she's like okay. And it just makes it like okay, stops the anger from like building and then can kind of look at things with a more level head, because nothing's worse than them being angry and then you being angry too, like everyone's angry is not great right.
Speaker 1:Well, that's tough when you have two people in a relationship who are very reactionary. Is that a word? Reactionary?
Speaker 2:sure you know, I don't know words, so so, like for you, I think you're more.
Speaker 1:you do react more where Drew doesn't, and so that kind of it's so nice he doesn't? It's nice that it like evens out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be with someone that we were just constantly fighting.
Speaker 1:Okay, but on the flip side, two people who don't react at all, and they're too nice to each other. That's also a problem.
Speaker 2:They're so chill and like can't get anything done.
Speaker 1:They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so they say nothing, and then that kind of builds up resentment too. Yeah, so that can be bad too, yeah, so you know yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what, though, drew isn't reactionary, but he like will tell me, mm-hmm, yeah, like, if things are like upset with him, yeah fine, I won't do it anymore all right, yeah, yeah, there's I mean relationships, I feel like there's so many, but even friendships, yeah, we read flags in in friendships.
Speaker 1:So I think I mentioned on an earlier episode that I have I kind of had to draw a boundary or like kind of cut off a couple of relationships years ago, because I felt like it was just a one-way street, like they were only ever reaching out to me when they needed something. Oh, yeah, you did say this, um, and I understand that people go through different seasons of life where maybe they need to lean on you more for support and things like that and you want to be there for them.
Speaker 1:But if that's all, the relationship ever continues to be. You can't be so one-sided, that's a problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure You're not getting anything out of this friendship?
Speaker 1:You're getting nothing from it whatsoever. Yeah, why are you in this friendship?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and just find a new friend, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think that's something like a red flag for me is when people only talk to you when they need something, yeah, or when they disappear when you need something, right. You're going through a hard time and they don't bother to like reach out, help out in any way.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I, when I was going through my first divorce, I had people who I thought were friends and I feel like soon as it was kind of known that we were going through this separation, they just completely disappeared. It's like people think that divorce is contagious and they're like we got, oh, we gotta be, we can't be friends with them.
Speaker 2:You know, I think people think that they need to pick sides, that too, I think that they feel like, I mean, if so, I had a friend and they went through a divorce and we were good I mean, this was a long time ago, but we were good friends with both of them like I was her best friend and my husband was his best friend and I think that there was this weird thing where, you know, we, nobody said anything, but everyone was trying to figure out like where we all stand after this divorce or whatever, and you know nothing. It just naturally fell the way it did. She ended up being a closer friend to us, like I think he, the husband, had taken a step back a little bit.
Speaker 1:You, know yeah.
Speaker 2:And so she ended up being a lot closer to us than he was. And I think you just kind of got to let like you just got to make your best judgment with those kinds of situations, like your husband can still hang out with him, or you know, you guys, but it is a weird situation to be like couple of friends with people and then they get a divorce and then you're like what am I supposed to do now?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's like who gets custody of who?
Speaker 2:yeah, like one thing that I think I've never navigated through, which I think a lot of people have to, is, you know, I guess I have navigated through that now I think about it. It is like trying to figure out, like if there's a new girl you know, like how do they, like you hang out with them? You? Know like a new girlfriend, yeah, like a new girlfriend or a new husband, and then, like you guys still hang out together. Who gets invited to the barbecue?
Speaker 1:oh, the ex or the current. Do you in an ideal world?
Speaker 2:do you tell the couple, like you guys cannot bring significant others, because this is like a weird thing, like? Or do you say, like everyone, you guys have to decide what you guys want to do on your end, I'm inviting, it's an open invitation, what do you do?
Speaker 1:I've never actually had to deal with that kind of situation you know, in an ideal world, everyone would be mature enough that they could be able to be there but that's not typically what happens. Yeah, that I think it's a really case-by-case basis, because it depends on who we're talking about. Yeah, and how long was the ex in and how like involved were they, you know, into your life, how integrated were they into your relationships? And then maybe this new girlfriend is now just only been there for two weeks yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 2:It's a tough kind of like weird thing I don't know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's tough, it's a tough kind of like weird thing, I don't know. So yeah, it's, I think okay, what about also the friends that just always cancel plans? The flakiest friend ever. That's you. Okay, 50%, 50%, all right. So I do cancel a lot of plans. I feel like any plans that you and I have individually. I don't know, maybe correct me if I'm wrong. I don't remember any that I've actually canceled where it's just us, no, okay.
Speaker 2:So let's point it this way my green flag is that I want everyone to come to things. I invite everyone to everything, right, like I want, feel like loved. I want everyone to feel like they're invited. I you know. One thing that people say about me is like I bring people together.
Speaker 1:You do.
Speaker 2:Like, that's just like my thing, so I invite everyone to everything, right? So I'm joking in saying that you don't come.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, yeah, yeah, agree. Drew has this rule that he thinks that after you've invited someone twice, you don't invite them anymore.
Speaker 1:It's just expected that they would be there or no like you're just like okay, now, or maybe it's three times.
Speaker 2:He's like I've invited you three times. I'm not gonna keep saying oh, it's a future thing. Yeah, I'm not gonna keep sending you an invitation, like two or three times I said I'm a patient and then you don't, don't show up.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't need to keep inviting you to things, I see, because then you feel obligated. I'm just not even going to bother with it, I see. So his thing is like two or three times and then you can reach out to me if you want to start hanging out with me again, for sure, yeah, I think that's a fair.
Speaker 1:I definitely think. I think two times yeah.
Speaker 2:Two to. I think the three is better because like two times maybe you had plans and then the second time something actually happened.
Speaker 1:They got, so you gotta give them one more like try, yeah, yeah. I think it also just depends how close a friend are they? Yeah for sure, yeah, so Really, the ones where we're saying I cancel a lot, which I definitely cancel a lot on coming to your house for events, is you already have everyone there, like it's your family, it's, it's more like hey, like if you want to come, we're doing this like today is. Today is the super bowl.
Speaker 1:Everyone's gonna be your house happy super bowl everyone come on over where I'm like I don't really I'm not in the mood to be social today and I have a bunch of shit to do, and so I was like I'm not gonna make it where I know that you are inviting me into your little like world, into your family and your friends and you're always like that. I know that. That. You know, invitation is always like extended, it's just an open invitation yeah, and also I have something every weekend that's the other thing.
Speaker 1:If you barely ever hosted stuff where I'm like if I can invite you to have every single weekend, yeah, I mean, I can't make it to stuff all the time, of course, but I also feel like you're not gonna give a fuck if I'm there or not. No, you know, yeah, like you already have all these people there, it's okay. But if we had one-on-one plans or something like that, that is different to me. Yeah, yeah, so it's um, yeah, I just think I like, I kind of like that rule though Drew's rule about like two to three times and then kind of all right.
Speaker 2:And then it's like I'm not mad at you. So Drew's thing is like he's not upset, he's just like I'm not going to think about. Like so, for example, for a Super Bowl, we're like okay, we need to just text everyone and let them know, like what time, or whatever. Well, like yeah, you just won't be thought of. That's kind of mean to say it that way, but it you know, we're not like hey, these people, we're going to invite them, you know, because it's just like they never come.
Speaker 1:So it's fine Like they don't come. It's okay Like don't invite them. Yeah, because really, people who are doing that, a lot of times, whether it's intentional or not, it's giving off the message that they don't really want to spend time with you. Yeah, like it's not a priority to them.
Speaker 2:And that's okay.
Speaker 1:Totally Like you you don't want to push it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want you to feel obligated to have to come over. I don't want to have a feeling about you not coming or coming Like that's. The thing too is like I don't want to put myself in a place where I'm like why don't they ever come? Or like they came, and they only came for an hour or whatever. I just want you to come or not come, and then I just want to be happy for the day. Yeah, I don't want to have drama, yeah.
Speaker 1:For sure, and then I guess okay, so things at work. Specifically, I think there's red flags that can be said for, like, if you are self-employed and you do collaborations with people.
Speaker 2:Well, which we talked about, the red flags in that collaboration.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so those are some things like if you try to do some type of collaboration with someone, especially if it's the first time, and this is like school projects when there's a group project.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, yeah. So there's a couple of things One this has happened to me slash us where people have approached us as a business to collaborate with them on something, whether it's like an event or a like a giveaway thing or whatever, but then it's it's like almost a lot of the responsibility of the whole thing is then put on us to do.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:I was their thing to start, I think it's safe to say the.
Speaker 2:The issue, the starting issue, is that everyone sees like kind of our brand. It's very like thought out and it's very like put together and you know everything. We do it. You know we really try to have it like all together you know, so when they see the brand, they're like oh, you know, they already.
Speaker 2:Like, do all these things. This is great, you know, and I think that I mean this is us too. But I think that a lot of small businesses, when it's one person too, because you have a team, it's like everyone's just that person's just running around doing hella, shit, right, so like they're kind of overwhelmed with everything and they don't like people, obviously us, us too, we take on too much and all stuff. So then when you're collabing with someone and then they're just like well, this person already does newsletters or this person already does these printed things, their design is already good. So I'm just going to be like hey, you do the design, hey, you do this, you do that.
Speaker 2:Where that puts strain on our business, because we do try to have it all together and everyone has their own little jobs here, so then that takes away from our business as well and people don't understand it. They just think like, yeah, you, you design this and you print all this out and you send it off to everyone, and we're just like we don't have fucking time for that, yeah I think you have to.
Speaker 1:The first thing is you have to come into this, especially if you're we're just like we don't have fucking time for that. Yeah, I think you have to. The first thing is you have to come into this, especially if it's we're calling it a collaboration, Right? A collaboration means that we are both coming together. I'm not working for you Right.
Speaker 2:Exactly, you thought you hired me for a free job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't come to me and ask to do a collaboration, but then, first of all, don't ask for any of my opinion or ideas or input. And to delegate a bunch of stuff to me to do that you don't want to do or that, like is the majority of the work and then take credit for it, right, um, my other thing, just kind of like along the lines of what you're saying, is yeah, it is, but it is. Um, they will like people will come and then they'll like you said, a lot of people. If they're're small business owners, they might be a solopreneur. They're just like one person who's doing everything and, like you said, they get overwhelmed. And then they look and they go oh well, brianna, like she has this team and she has all these people, so, whatever, she can just like delegate all this stuff to like her people. In their mind, they're just like oh, she just got these people. Like that, she just delegates stuff.
Speaker 1:First of all, that's not how this business works, right? I'm not just like over here, just like throwing shit at everybody. Everyone has a job, everybody has a job, and it's just like this very well-oiled machine. And people don't take into consideration that these are employees. I am paying them for the time that they're working. So now not only are you giving me more stuff to give them to do that's taking time away from my business, but now I'm having to pay money to these people to do this. So now it's costing me money to do this collaboration with you, and so that is frustrating. I think it's a super big red flag when people come, if they approach someone about either doing a collaboration or even if it's just like a like, when people message you and they just kind of want to like, get together and pick your brain. That is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Speaker 2:Well, I think okay so I always have to like preface this. But I think, because the problem with that for you specifically is I think you get that more than other people is that you are a business coach and you have put it out there as being a business coach and you talk to people about that and you have this like kind of successful business. So I think that it's not someone. I think this happens to you specifically and I think that you have to look at it through that lens, because you're like I have gotten paid to do this and at this point you're it feels like not necessarily it is, but it feels like you're asking for free, like for me to do my job for free or if someone came to me and was like, hey, let's get some coffee and let's like talk creatively.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't feel that way.
Speaker 1:What's interesting, though? I mean I totally see what you're saying. It's like I felt like that way prior to when I started business, coaching and the like, maybe the first few years of my business. But it always just comes off Like when you message someone and you just say, hey, like I just want to hang out and pick your brain and I'm just wondering about this, this and this and I want to know about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're just sending this message that you just want to take time out of someone's day to only gain knowledge and insight for yourself.
Speaker 1:You're not giving anything to this situation, and they always say, when you are approaching anyone about anything, you need to think about. The question they're going to ask is what's in it for me? So you need to think about that for them, like what is in? Why would they want to do this? What? Just from goodness of their heart, they just want it to, which I mean people do, and I have done it prior, you know previously too but you just have to think like everybody's busy, everyone's busy. Most of us have families. Being a business owner is so freaking busy, no matter what stage of business you're in, and asking people to just take time out of their day to help you build your business when they don't know you. So this is different than someone you already know.
Speaker 2:You've established a relationship or a friendship with them. That's like a random person that's messaging you Random person DMing you on Instagram.
Speaker 1:That's a red flag to me.
Speaker 1:So you have to think about that when you and that's why, if you're doing that and you're not getting a lot of people responding back to you you have to think about maybe you're the red flag. So just think about how you can do something like maybe you offer more of a trade, like, let's say that you are a photographer but you are wanting to I don't know, like you want to kind of connect with someone else. If you're a wedding photographer and you want to connect with someone in the wedding industry and maybe it's like an event planner, because you kind of want to get on their radar and maybe be like recommended by them to brides and stuff, maybe you say, hey, I would love to meet with you for coffee, I'd love to chat. You know, in exchange for your time, I'd be, you know, more than happy to like, you know, do some updated headshots for you or to just offer them something of value that you can do to kind of offset the what you're requesting of them, right? I think that makes it a little bit right.
Speaker 2:I think that it always I mean in relationships and with business it's just like you can't go into situations, just like what can you get for yourself? You know, yeah, it's so fucking selfish like it needs to be. Like what are you both like getting out of this and you need to like think about other people?
Speaker 2:I think for sure you know, especially when you're asking for something yeah yeah, like if I want something from Drew, like maybe I'd say, give you a blow job or something. Oh, what kind of job you want, yeah, yeah, I need you to do something for me. What, what kind of things you want me to offer you? What would you like me to offer you?
Speaker 1:mister, that's a good one. That's a good one, yeah. So I mean, I would like think about all these things that you think of are red flags in different areas of your life and turn it around to say do any of these red flags apply to me?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think you need to be able to recognize your red flags, which I think that I, I can tell, I can. I know my own red flags, I, I know like what I need to work on and the things like I need to do or whatever, um, but you got to recognize them at least.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a little bit of self-awareness goes a long way. Yeah, okay, what about green flags?
Speaker 2:I love green flags, you love them. No, I like red flags because I like to be bad. I prefer being bad than not being bad.
Speaker 1:I mean obviously relationships, green flags is. I think everything we talked about earlier is in relation to emotional intelligence.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You have to have a high EQ. I really think that that is like the biggest thing, because if you, if there's two partners who have really strong emotional intelligence, you can pretty much work through most things. If you both have that and good communication skills, I think that you can work through a lot of problems where if?
Speaker 1:there's someone who does not have a growth mindset or they don't have good communication skills. It's really hard to like get through arguments or difficult times because you just can't really see eye to eye and see like the light at the end of the tunnel yeah, I think that the communication thing is just like huge with everything.
Speaker 2:Like I mean, it's just like how can you not explain yourself and understand someone else? So, yeah, like I think in all aspects of this entire fucking world, is that communication is key to literally everything, for sure, to understanding people, and so, and then getting people to understand you. So I think that people really need to you utilize that. I think that that is a skill that's underutilized, you know, and people don't realize that. Like it's like oh, you know, the things that you want to have, like the traits that you want to have, is like you're a go-getter and you're all these things, but really it should be like you can communicate with people. That's how you're going to get the things you want. That's how sales works, works like all that shit you know so.
Speaker 2:I think your green flag needs to be communication as a person that's how you maximize your life on this earth is communicating with everyone, so you could do your morning manipulations.
Speaker 1:I mean because even with communication, it could be like as simple as you having enough confidence to speak up during, like a team meeting or something where you just are able to voice whether it's a concern or, you know, a complaint, or you just even have questions about something, and I think that's such. That is. That is probably the biggest green flag is good communication skills and communicating in the correct way.
Speaker 2:I don't. I also red flag. I hate over communicators. No, I don't want you to like take up all of our fucking time in the meeting, Right. Like I don't want you to say some bullshit ass stuff to me too, Like knowing where to edit yourself and stuff like that. I think that that's huge.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my son does that and I tell him, you know, you're just talking to be talking.
Speaker 2:Oh, little kids do that. Oh my God, rihanna does that and I just go. Are you actually saying something, or are you just just just babbling Like you're a little baby, when they don't really know how to talk yet? They're almost there and they said and you're just like, shut the fuck up up, what are you even talking about? I? The thing that kills me with the kids too, is they tell you the stories that you had to be their stories and I go rihanna, you have to keep those ones that's not funny it.
Speaker 2:Nobody knows what. Even you're talking about what?
Speaker 1:every time you say rihanna, it sounds like you're saying brianna oh, you know, I always think it's little miss rihanna.
Speaker 2:it was her birthday. Think it's. I always think it's. Little Miss Rihanna. It was her birthday yesterday. It was yeah Cute, yeah, she's 11?.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she turned 11. Aw, I know.
Speaker 2:She's so cute.
Speaker 1:I just love her, I do, so I've got a fun thing. Okay, we could do is do a little red flag lightning round okay, we're gonna go back to red flags. Let's go back. I know I'm I'm because the thing is we talked about red flags but we kind of talked about how they could be green all throughout. So yeah, yeah, everything we said in red flag okay, opposite, okay, okay we'll come back to the green flag okay, so we looked up some red flags.
Speaker 2:So red flags according to the people of reddit okay, let's hear it okay a red flag is when he doesn't have a driver's license oh my god, I don't know if I've ever met a man that like in life, that was like I don't have a driver's license, unless they were a kid have you?
Speaker 1:have you dated?
Speaker 2:anyone that was like I don't have a driver's license I would never I think this is a problem, though that's probably more common in places like New York where they have the subway even San Francisco.
Speaker 1:I mean how many of our clients they don't who live in San Francisco. They don't have cars.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have cars, but you don't think they have driver's license. Maybe, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know but probably. Well, a guy has to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because he has to drive me around. Let me tell you, I'm not driving my own self around.
Speaker 1:Okay, if their favorite restaurant is Texas Roadhouse.
Speaker 2:Tell me when's the last time you went to Texas Roadhouse?
Speaker 1:Here's the thing I love a good cinnamon butter bun.
Speaker 2:I think I've been to that place two times. I think I've been to that place two times really, and I think it's a real white person place.
Speaker 2:Here's the thing I don't prefer steak houses in this area. So, yes, I have gone to some really nice ones in San Francisco where I thought, wow, this is fucking amazing. But let me tell you, but corn steakhouse, okay, here. It's just, I don't really want your steak in your potato. I could just make that at home. Why am I not just like making that at home? I don't need to go to Texas Roadhouse, I can get, I can make a damn good Caesar salad.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe you're one of those people who doesn't know how to cook or do laundry.
Speaker 2:Then you do have to go to Texas Roadhouse and get the cinnamon buns. Oh my God, and they have to take out their phone calculator to figure out the tip on a bill, sometimes depending on the numbers. I feel like I do that. I mean, really you're supposed to. You could just double the tax.
Speaker 1:That's what they say they just double the tax.
Speaker 2:But I told you, I have that thing where if there's a math problem, I don't even think about it, like go fuck yourself, like don't even ask me a question about math, okay. So I prefer when they just you know almost I would feel like 90 of restaurants they have it on the receipt. Now they do, yeah. So that's very, very helpful. I do like that. Yeah, it's just like right there, you just write it in, you could just check it.
Speaker 1:A lot of times you just okay. But my question is, how come some of them they say, okay, here's the like, 20%, blah, blah, blah, and then they tell you the tip, but why don't you also just say what the total is?
Speaker 2:you know some of them do, some do and some don't. Yeah, and then I want to kill myself. You still, dad. Yeah, you know what. I'm just checking in and signing it you better figure it out Someone better write it in for me.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay. So that brings me to. To me it's a red flag if you go out to dinner and you do not tip at least 20%, at least Minimum.
Speaker 2:Here's the thing, though I do feel bad for the little kids that are trying to go to dinner at like $16, $19.
Speaker 1:And then they just have enough and then maybe just $5 extra. Okay, well, that's different. Yeah, that might be different. But also, if your mom gives you money to go out to dinner, make sure she gives you enough for a good tip.
Speaker 2:Let me tell. Okay, so this brings me to. I guess this is one of Drew's like red flags, right? He? When we go to dinner or anywhere, that fucking fool, no, he's got to go outside. He can't even stand there one more second, Like we could talk a little bit, and then he's got to go, which what it looks like is that he just left his poor girlfriend or wife to pay the bill and to do like all these things. But I, he has done that since we were so young.
Speaker 2:He literally can't sit there, like we've gone to Michelin places and then you're doing 14 meals and he's like itching, like he can't, he's like I gotta fucking get out of here and I'm like you can't leave right now, like we're literally at a hella nice restaurant and you're trying to get up and go outside. You can't come back in what are you doing?
Speaker 2:you can't do this and he's like I gotta fucking go. But I think that that comes from when he, when we were, and he was like smoking cigarettes as soon as he ate, he wanted to go outside and smoke a cigarette. So I think that that's just still in his habit. But so it's just like such a rare fact. I mean I would be pregnant and I would just be like we just eat, and then he just he just always goes okay, you done, okay, pay for this, let's go. I mean you know, and I'm like, okay, I mean you're paying with your guys' money.
Speaker 2:It's not like you're paying. If anything, Drew's always paid for all my shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's a red flag.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but even if on my shittiest service I will still give 20% typically, unless it's like, really like they're just a straight up bitch. I think I've done 10% if it was really bad, but I've never done no tip.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've never done no tip. I think 10% has been the lowest.
Speaker 1:That's a theory.
Speaker 2:And it's got to be less than a handful of times that I've ever done that.
Speaker 1:It might be like two, maybe twice, yeah, two or three, and that was that has ever happened.
Speaker 2:It was awful. It had to be so fucking awful. Yeah, yeah, and I know a lot of people say that you know the tipping culture in America has gotten out of control and I get that and I do think that people should be able to go out to dinner and you know. So you know I say stay within 10, 15% if you can't afford it, 20% if you can actually afford it, don't be a dick.
Speaker 1:Okay, or maybe just don't order a drink then so you can afford the tip. Yeah, come on, figure it out. If he says that all of his exes are crazy, all his ex-girlfriends are crazy.
Speaker 2:He's dating the red flags, then no, he's the red flag. Yeah, but also he's attracted to the red flags, so he's a red flag.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're just attracted only to red flags.
Speaker 1:I mean, my thing is, if I go on a date with someone or I am dating someone, if they really say almost anything negative at all about their exes, specifically if it's someone they have children with, that's a huge red flag to me where I go. I just I just don't. I don't like that. I mean one thing that I really respected about my ex-husband. There weren't a lot of things, but one thing I really respected about him he never talked shit about his ex-wife, the mother of his children, and he, you know, respected that. That is who she was. And yeah, even if I know there were so many things he would want to say, you know so many things he would be frustrated about, but he would never, I don't know, he just wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I think that sometimes bitches need to be disrespected. I have a baby mama drama in my life and I think that sometimes there are times when, man, you know, I don't know, you should just be talking shit a little bit.
Speaker 1:I mean you can Especially if it's your spouse, like your new spouse you can tell them. I guess what I'm saying is, first of all, it's in the privacy of your own home or something You're not like blabbing out to everybody. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I don't like when I see that they do that on social media I followed someone, I and they, like, put their whole thing out there and it was like that's so embarrassing, oh he was out late this night, even it was her, it was her boyfriend or was like her spouse and she's like he was out late and he doesn't come home and take care of his kids and blah, blah and. And I was like bitch, you're just putting all that shit out. And the comments were like people like oh, like you shouldn't say that about him, Like I know you guys are going through it and I'm surprised people actually just like said whatever they wanted in the comments.
Speaker 1:Like knew them, yeah, okay. So I think it's embarrassing if you put any dirty laundry on social media, but I did one time. I mean, maybe it was more than once, but one time I specifically remember, when I was. I must've been 25 or something, oh God, maybe 26, whatever.
Speaker 1:So my I was just, we had just gotten divorced, me and Bentley's dad, and he was very angry about it, okay, and he was even more angered about the fact that he had to pay child support.
Speaker 1:So one month he decided he was going to pay all of his child support in change. So I open my door, my front door, and there's a tub, like a storage tub, full of pennies and dimes and nickels. That's all of my fucking like so heavy that I could not like get it in my house. So I literally had to get another tub and bring it inside my house and then, like, be scooping with a bowl, scooping the coins I had to take them all to a coin start and bring it inside my house. And then, like, be scooping with a bowl, scooping the coins, I had to take them all to a coin start. And then, you know, they take 15 percent of a fee unless you, like, you know, make it a gift card such. He just wanted to make my life miserable and I wrote about it on social media. I put a picture of it and I said something about it and something about it and I would say, within 10 minutes his mom called me and was like I am so sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I think those kind of posts where it's like not like, hey, he did. So that is kind of like a joking post a little bit. Yeah, it is, even though it is disrespectful what he did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was kind of funny though.
Speaker 2:But it was more of a funny. It's not like hey, he's not watching his kids and like he's like out with this new girl. It's more like this fucking fool showed up at my house with these fucking pennies and this how he paid me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this how he's trying to make my life were commenting. They're like I can't even believe that, like people were just like what? And that's how I think it got back to his mom and dad so quick and then they had like reached out to me to be like I'm sorry, and then to him to be like don't ever do that again right which that works in your favor and then he was like sorry, I did that blah blah, blah and I was like okay, the thing too about that is what he did is more work
Speaker 1:oh it was. He had to go out of his way and he told me we joke about it now. We joke about now. He said that was so much work. I had to go to the bank and you know, they only give you, like they give you the rolled up ones, so I had to break open all the rules of coins too, and he was like it was, it took so much time. He's like it was so satisfying though, like I just really wanted to do that, but he is so petty and would do some shit like that, that's so fucking petty.
Speaker 2:Like you know, I'm not really petty in like ways like that, and so when people just like go lower, I'm just like damn.
Speaker 1:He would. He would do that. I mean there's some petty ass stuff that he's done over over the year, I mean you know, many years ago. I mean we joke about it now. I'm just like and he'll kind of be like, I can't believe that I did shit like that. It is just kind of funny. That is hilarious. I like it.
Speaker 2:I like it.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I mean, what are your wait? This one says if their name starts with a J, that's you, both of my exes. They do say that. They do say that Car problems, yeah, yeah, like if they if they cancel a date or they cancel plans cause they have car problems.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like what the hell I hate that. Yeah, get your ass here. How does a record and a pending court date.
Speaker 1:A record with pending court? Absolutely not, oh my god, absolutely not. You know what? The book thing too. So sometimes I will say, like you know, if, um, like, I'll ask them oh, like, what was the most recent book that you've read, or what kind of books do you like to read? And if their answer is like, oh, I don't even know the last time I read a book, goodbye you know my husband doesn't read well, okay, but his answer would not be.
Speaker 1:He wouldn't say that. He would say you know, but I do listen to podcasts, tons of them, and that's where he would yeah, we're okay, that's fine.
Speaker 1:That's yeah fine. But if you're just like you don't listen to, as if they said I don't know, and then I would say, oh, you know, do you listen to podcasts? If they don't listen to podcasts and don't read, goodbye, I can't. Where are you getting your information from? Fox news? I was just going to say get the fuck out of here. You're just watching the tick tocks and Fox news? Absolutely not.
Speaker 2:No, here's another red flag. If he watches tick tockok even has the app. Because let me tell you something, I don't know any men in my life and this is kind of mean, because I actually would like it if my husband would have tiktok, because I'm tired of sending stuff and then he's like I can't look at it and I'm like, all right, fine, I'll save it and show it to you later or whatever, but I haven't really met anyone. I mean, all the men in my life actually do not use social media Like my brothers, you know my all of the boy boyfriends not my boyfriends, you know, my husband's friends none of them actually use social media.
Speaker 2:A lot of them don't have any social media, and so it is funny and interesting when I meet men that are like I'm just like scrolling on tiktok all the time you know, that's my cousin, that's my cousin he'll, literally he'll just sit there for hours and he just keeps the next one, the next one he's just watching.
Speaker 1:And my other thing is and you know my grandpa does this if you have your phone on, you're watching videos in a public place without your fucking airpods in, you can go to hell, people that talk like on the phone, on speakerphone, in public places, face I.
Speaker 2:I literally look at them with such an angry stare and I just want to go get your fucking phone off speakerphone. Like it is so disrespectful to me that people fucking do that shit. It is so disrespectful and I'm just like come on yeah, what are we doing?
Speaker 1:it's so annoying and it's always on full volume.
Speaker 2:It's never like low volume, it's oh well, you're like holding it up to your ear or something, because I don't know, maybe your speakers broken on your phone or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like riley, she always sends me. We only we pretty much exclusively communicate in voice messages.
Speaker 2:Yeah and so you gotta hold, I have to put.
Speaker 1:If I'm at the nail salon and I don't have my airpods with me, I'll play it as low as I can. I'll literally put it inside of my ear to hear it your phone is now your ear airpod. Yeah or I just click to like be able to read the text of the voice.
Speaker 2:I don't actually always messed up. Which is always messed up, yeah you can't ever help it like, puts words in there that you're just like she never said that, yeah. Yeah, I mean, oh, that's such a red flag Speakerphone. Speakerphone is a red flag.
Speaker 1:Just so everyone knows.
Speaker 1:Okay, what's funny about you saying that none of the men in your life use social media and knowing that like the men in your life are like normal and good people, they're not like fucking weirdos. Yeah, what it's funny? Because dating in the dating world, they always say like if a guy doesn't have social media it's a red flag, that's like such a thing where I have a hard time with that because I'm like I don't know, I don't know that it is, yeah, I mean the thing is you feel like it's a red flag because you can't see their life, can't stalk them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't really stalk them, but I think that most of the guys yeah, in my life or whatever they just can't be bothered. First of all, they're not showing off everything like. The thing with us girls is like, yes, we want to document, but yeah, we're like showing our lives. You know, we overshare. That's typically what women do, yeah, and for me, just the men that I hang out with, maybe also because, I mean, I was gonna say because the men are a little bit older, like in their thirties and forties, but even all throughout this whole time they weren't really into it that much. Anyway, yeah, they're. Most of their social media interaction is going to be fucking sports.
Speaker 1:Well like, that's just what they you know, yeah, and I mean, if you're just like out there actually living your life and, hey, you're reading the books or listening to the podcasts, then you're not gonna have a lot of time to be on social media, but I do like that I can scroll on someone's you know profile and be able to see like updated photos and stuff.
Speaker 1:I mean I would appreciate that you know but I would almost say is more of a red flag if they're like a social media influencer than if they don't have social media at all. Yeah, if you're too, too involved on your social media or you're posting too many photos of yourself and things like that, it's, it's like a little cringy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would agree. And so much like daily life. I mean, unless you have a business or something like that, I get that. If you're trying to like make the money from it, I get it. And if you know, if that's kind of your work thing, I totally get it. Yeah, and the only other time when I think that men will, or people do, post a lot more is on vacation.
Speaker 2:When you go on vacation, you're not dealing with work anymore, you're able just to kind of post and you're excited about where you are and so you're just like oh, I want to post that I'm here or I want to document. You know, that's what I think about social media. For myself is like I'm trying to document all these like times and stuff. You know, I'm not like drew, where he just has this private collection of photos and videos, where he's just like trying to like hoard all these things. I'm like are you gonna look at them later? Like what's gonna happen here, you know, with these? Um, so yeah, I think that I do want to see a little bit of of interaction on social media, I think with men a little bit more. I think it's. I think to me, I think it's so cute when men do that, because none of the men in my life ever really post that much I mean like I don't know when's a lot, when the last time drew has ever posted something.
Speaker 2:I mean he probably hasn't posted something in years yeah, and then I think about my other friend. He doesn't even have instagram. My brother doesn't have instagram. My other brother posts once in a blue moon Like I mean really no posting or no interactions on socials.
Speaker 1:Okay, but your brother, which I would say this is a green flag. Your one brother, though, very active on LinkedIn.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's like LinkedIn, famous, yes, and I think that's great. Yeah, when he told me that I was like get the fuck out of here. Because, he's the baby too, and so we're like what do you do it? It's like it's kind of cute, you know, yeah, and he's just really helping people like get jobs and like have like more confidence when they're doing interviews and stuff, and I think that that's very much like positive social media work right, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I could see that, like if a guy told you like, well, I'm like you know, I do all these things on LinkedIn, you probably think it's pretty nerdy and yeah, I love nerds nerds are really cool and so you think it's a little nerdy. But then you go on there and you're like, wow, this guy's just trying to like build his little business and you're trying to have like this thing and so, and it feels less braggy on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1:Yeah for sure yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I think there's just like some things, though I think that people sometimes tend to look at things and okay, like, let's say, you're going after something, or you really want to like take a leap, whether that's like career-wise or something, I don't know, or even just like going on this like big vacation that you've been like dreaming of going, and then there's things in your life that you go, ooh, are these red flags? Like, let's say, it's like spending too much money on a vacation? Ugh, and you go ugh, oh, but that's a red flag. I'm not being very like financially literate or responsible, whatever.
Speaker 2:That's my red flag. I just I'll just go on the vacation. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:If it's like I'm like, I'm going yeah, I think that there's things, though, like there's these other things, and not just that. I'm just like there's things that come up that I think are disguised as red flags because they're things that you're scared of and it's holding you back, ooh, yeah, so being aware of red flags is really good in the sense that it empowers you to be able to make decisions about the people in your life, the things that you're going after, stuff like that. But I also think you have to be really aware of the times that you're kind of just letting fear like play the part of a red flag and, yeah, make you think like I can't go after that or I can't do that. Um, but I think the green flags, those are like the times when you go all in. Those are the times you see these green flags in people or in you know whatever situations where you just have to pay attention to those green flags that are telling you you got the green light to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's go after it. Recognizing those I mean, it's really recognizing the red and green flags to be able to proceed, or?
Speaker 1:stop and I think if you are able to recognize those, it kind of gives you a little bit more like. You trust yourself more because you know I'm not going to be, I'm not going to get fucked around on or I'm not going to Right.
Speaker 2:I think that you should stand against the red flags too. I think that there comes a point where you're like oh, you know, my partner isn't communicating with me well or whatever, for example, and that you have to like be the green flag to kind of push through that. Yeah, like I'm going to do the right thing here and we're going to like do this or find solutions and stuff for the red flags. I think that is really important. But you know, unless you're just like starting to date someone or something, then fucking leave yeah, walk away, yeah. Or like you're on the dating apps and you see the red flag man, just don't swipe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're like in a situation and there are red flags, I think recognizing the red flags and then being the green flag to kind of push through that, yeah for sure well, I'm interested to know what you guys think are red flags and green flags, or if there's anything that we said that you don't agree with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like where you go hey, that's not a red flag. That's actually green for me, or the opposite. Yeah, I definitely would love to know. So shoot us a DM on our Instagram at maximalistlifepodcast and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 2:Hope you're having fun. Tits up, dicks out. Thank you.