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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 11 - Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby (Because We All Should)
Episode Summary:
Let’s talk about sex—because let’s be real, not talking about it is where things get awkward. In this episode, we dive into the real conversations that make intimacy better, from open communication to trying new things without the weirdness. Expect funny (and cringey) stories, honest takes, and a whole lot of normalizing sex talk—because pleasure starts with a conversation.
- 🗣️ Why talking about sex makes it so much better
- 🔥 Being fully present during intimate moments
- 🛍️ Sex toys: fun, not taboo (let’s discuss)
- 😂 Hilarious listener stories that will make you cringe and relate
- 💡 Tips for couples to spice things up & explore new things together
No shame, no weirdness—just real talk, good vibes, and maybe a few laughs along the way. Let’s get into it. 😏
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Welcome to maximalist life. I'm your host, brianna, and I'm Tamika and today's gonna be a spicy one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like we got a lot of feedback on spicy ones, so I thought it'd be fun to do another one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, episode five, we did a little bit of a spicy one and we did have a lot of people commenting and telling us the different conversations that opened up with their partners, and so we're gonna, we're gonna go back and we're gonna do another one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah okay. So we thought maybe we'd start off today with like a little question for ourselves right. Okay. So what sex toy would you be if you were a sex toy? Okay, okay. Wait, I'm going to tell you which one I would want to be. Okay, okay, okay, tell us, I want to be a sex doll, and you just, they just can do whatever they want to you. And you know sex dolls are like they have like a perfect little body. Yeah, they do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they just make them up.
Speaker 2:So that could be fun, but I think the sex toy that I am is like cuffs.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Because I'm really obsessive and I just want to hold you to me like you're only mine, and so like make you do only things with me and like yeah, I'm really mean, yeah, I'm just really controlling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't want to let them go? Yeah?
Speaker 2:except I'm not like that sexually in the bed. Like I mean, I don't like do things to my husband that he wouldn't allow. But that's how I am in a relationship with my eyes, you know cuz like we're super obsessed, we're always together, like we just always have to be together. We can't be apart. Scary.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, Real scary, Okay. Well, now that we've heard from the warden the sex toy that I would be Uh-huh Ooh.
Speaker 2:Give me a good one here, oh well tricky.
Speaker 1:I think I would be a pocket pussy. Oh you're just pocket size, you just pull it out. I am pocket size, you know, we're just so small and you can just fit me in your pocket and I can suck a mean dick oh, so that suction of the pocket. But yeah, you don't even need a vagina. Oh, you don't even need one. Nope, here we are. Here we are. We're starting out strong today.
Speaker 2:So you're saying that your mouth is a pocket pussy? It is oh my god, I love it. So it's like I'm a trapper and you're a trapper too, yeah.
Speaker 1:You get your dick trapped right in your mouth.
Speaker 2:Suck that dick right off or two, yeah wow, wow, this one's really starting off. Good, yeah, okay, wow, definitely do our explicit yeah tag on this one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, our family can't listen to this one never, never, never okay, okay, uh, I so you know, we have been talking about stuff like what's like the best sex that you have had and like what made it? What made it good? And sometimes I think, like you have these experiences that are really good, but it's like, maybe, based on the circumstances, it was like a one-time thing, yeah, but other times, a lot of times, it's like you, it could be recreated, depending on, like, what made it so good yeah, so I only have sex with one person right now.
Speaker 2:No, that's boring for a long time. You know, not that I haven't had sex with other people before, but uh, recently though, uh recently though, uh recently, drew was eating my pussy. You want to say it? Let's say it. Okay, eating my pussy and you know what it is. I can't get it together, it is. It was like I told him later. I was like damn, that was really really amazing and I was like you know, I don't know what it was, but it was because, I mean, we have oral sex all the time, you know, and so it just was exceptionally great, wow. And you know what he told me? He goes I was really trying to listen to your body.
Speaker 2:Jesus he told me he was trying to really listen to my body.
Speaker 1:He was really in tune.
Speaker 2:And it's funny that I said that and then, you know, and then he actually had an explanation for it. That means that it was like he was trying something different and I noticed. And then he noticed and so we kind of talked about that and so, yeah, I don't know it's like. And so, yeah, I don't know it's like, even after being with him for 25 years, like it's still. Yeah, that was really exceptional.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's like you have to, especially if you're having sex with the same person for a really long time, that you're in a relationship or you're in marriage or something. Just like. Continuing to be present and engaged during what's happening is a big thing, I think. And then I mean, like he said, just like listening to what the other person needs or paying attention, anticipating their needs. I think those things make a huge difference.
Speaker 2:You know, the thing, too, I think about spicing it up with couples is this is something Drew and I used to do and I tell this to people all the time is we used to listen to a sex podcast together oh yeah, and then we would. Um, it was called the secret show and uh, it's with.
Speaker 2:You know, the morning crew from san francisco, sarah and vinnie yeah, they had like a secret podcast after and it was called yeah, it's called the secret show, and they would do an hour and it's a lot of sexy talk and we would listen, and even they would talk about like, oh, you know these videos, that they would watch these like porn videos and like we, sometimes we would pull them up and look at them and like you know whatever. And so recently, though, I feel like we have had a couple people say that they listened with their husband to our sexy podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to to our episode five yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I think that's great. Like if you can like maybe it's that you needed someone else to say things to build off like whatever we said, and then they can like pause and kind of talk about it instead of them, like as a couple, just bringing it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a little barrier to them. It's like a little therapy session.
Speaker 2:Like the four of us are together in this little therapy session, but you get to pause and then go to your partner and go do you want to listen to my body and eat my pussy?
Speaker 2:real good too, because her husband did this one time you know, and so I think that, like even that, like that really we would, and I think for us, I mean, whatever your vice is, if you want to do a little drinking or you want to do a little smoking weed or do your little shrooms, yeah, and just kind of get you loosey-goosey. I mean, if you don't need that too, that's fine. I have one friend. She doesn't drink but she's always a good time me no oh you drink.
Speaker 2:I'm drinking right now. Yeah, she never, yeah, and she never is like weird about that. So, yeah, so I think that that is like kind of a good thing to do, like we did that really early on in our relationship, and I think it's kind of like when people watch porn together. But, almost on a like more mature level, because you're you're like listening to people give you advice about it instead of you're watching this like production. Yeah, yeah, yeah so yeah, I think that kind of helps spice things up.
Speaker 2:So yeah for sure, get your husband ever listen to this. Yeah, one of my friends.
Speaker 1:She told me she listened to our last like sexy episode with her husband, because there's things that she'll tell him that she likes to do or whatever, and he doesn't. Okay, sometimes guys get, they might get I don't want to say like insecure, but they feel like, oh, like, if you need to use sex toys or they feel like am I enough, then like clearly, they feel like clearly me as a man, or like my penis is not like enough for you that you need to substitute some of that like with a sex toy, and that's just not true. And so for her, that's something that she has told him in the past and he's just like no, like kind of doesn't believe her, like like she's just saying, um, I don't know, like when she's like no, that's not true, that's not true, it has nothing to do with you, it just has everything to do with me and like my body and what I need, or whatever.
Speaker 1:So for them to listen to that episode together, she was like see, because we talked about that, like we talked about incorporating sex toys and I talked about how like that is a huge thing for me and so that made her be like see, like other other people to like feel the same way and it's not just, and so it kind of made it so they could have this conversation about it again and he could hear some other perspectives from other women.
Speaker 2:So I think it was helpful. I think one of the things that, like we kind of talked, touched base on this a little bit on episode five, was that normalizing the sex talk Right Like real even for us, like how we said maybe we wouldn't been able to do this four or five years ago talk about this openly, but normalizing the sex talk, just like you're like talking about dinner, like that's how I feel like it should be in a relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you know, really like if you should have these open like communication, like yeah, with your spouse and for you not to be able to say, like I want you to eat my pussy, I want you to like, I want to use sex toys, I want to try this new thing. You know all this stuff.
Speaker 2:You know because it's hard to have courage, yeah, and confidence just say these things and to have your partner shut down on you and just be like no, I'm not fucking doing that. I, you know, I it's. You need to go to therapy because you guys need to talk about your communication. Yeah, yeah, um, but even just to have the courage to open that lineup if that's not typical like typically aligned for you yeah, but yeah, that's why I think, like listening to other people talk about it helps, or reading your books helps, stuff like that yeah, for sure, I don't know, do you what other?
Speaker 2:okay, so that was like a recent one for you guys. Yeah, yeah, that was a recent one what other?
Speaker 1:I mean, what other things or experiences have you guys had that made it like this was a really good sex experience?
Speaker 2:yeah, you know, I think it's not necessarily like the whole like session is good. It's just like I like when I see and I you know and I talked about this before a little bit what I said how I like to watch him, but I like seeing Drew is so excited about sex yeah, like in the moment. I mean, I maybe that's a kink for me, where he can't keep his hands off me, or he can't wait one more second, like it's the middle of the day Like so.
Speaker 2:yesterday we had a nooner right, he could not he was like I couldn't wait, I couldn't wait, I couldn't wait any longer, I had to. I said you had to. Just like sink into me what's happening here. And he's like yeah, I couldn't wait one more second. Like he tried to pretend, like he was like I just really need to go lay down. And I was like okay. And then he texts me a second later and goes did you want to come in here? Oh my God. And I go, no. And he goes he did like a sad face, are you sure? And then I went in there and just like everything was crazy.
Speaker 1:He's standing there with his dick out. He's like hey, he's like I'm ready right now, let's go.
Speaker 2:He couldn't even wait, and so I think those kind of things are so fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we don't typically just have sex in the middle of the day, I'm usually at work or whatever, and so I think that's kind of fun For me. I think too, when we talk about like the best, it doesn't need to be the best, but it could be the best this week, or you know, because I think we should always be trying to like, be better, yeah. So it's like yeah, I think that was great this week, I think it was so fun. And then we talk about it later like damn, you just couldn't help yourself, huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You just like fun stuff like that. Yeah, you know that kind of keeps it a little spicy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's. I mean for sure. It's something like when you see the other person super into it, because I mean, like you said before, no one wants to fuck a dead fish. So if you're just like, that's the other thing too Like you have to be super the grocery store.
Speaker 2:You're just like thinking about other stuff. They can tell and you should be enjoying it too. Because here's the thing I I try to emphasize this with people, a lot them. You really have to give sympathy for the men with the sex because they are trying to get you off, trying not to to come, trying to make things feel good. They're not in your head, trying to stay hard. Yes, trying to stay hard. You know they might be working with a little micro penis.
Speaker 1:No, you know that.
Speaker 2:No, you know, and I really think that they have the short end of the stick when it comes to sex.
Speaker 1:You know, if they're trying as much as they can, okay, but on the flip side of that, yes, they have to try harder. But I also feel like typically again, never can't say always and everybody and whatever but typically any guy is going to get off when you have sex. They're going to come at the end of sex, no matter what For a girl. A lot of times that is not true. So it's like, although, yes, like they have to do more work and they have a lot more like, maybe, pressure, I always feel like, yeah, but you know what? It's so much easier for you to get off, so you should work harder, you should have that pressure, because I have to work harder to get to the same fucking finish line as you. And it isn't always about getting to the finish line, I guess.
Speaker 2:But no, it is. I mean, the whole point of sex is everyone both of you guys are getting off.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, so here's the thing For me, I view sex as to me, it is more about the connection and like the experience. It isn't always like I don't really every single time, like it doesn't bother me or I don't feel let down or whatever if I don't get off, and that's not to say like every time I'm like no, it's fine, like yeah, of course, it would be great.
Speaker 2:I listened to this lady recently on a podcast it was a sex podcast, oh, we can link it or whatever and she said she listened to this study where they did so many people and one of the things was the people that were having the happiest and best sex. The reason, one of the reasons, main reasons was they were giving and that they weren't necessarily like getting off every time but like they were giving and they were. They felt like they had the best sex.
Speaker 1:And so.
Speaker 2:I think that that is true. Like I enjoy it. Sometimes Joe will be like oh, you didn't like get off or something, and I'm like I don't have to, I mean. So he tries, he gets me off in the beginning, but, like, if it's like a quickie or something, we just kind of go yeah. And so I'm like, yeah, but I enjoy myself, even if, like, I don't come every time.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:OK, that's OK to me. I enjoy, just like what we're doing. Yeah, you know. So yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what you're saying, right.
Speaker 2:And also like even giving blowjobs, like I. It's OK that I'm on my period and like I give you a blowjob. I enjoyed it still.
Speaker 1:I enjoy that. You enjoyed yourself. That's okay. It doesn't always have to be about that little ending that little happy ending. Not always.
Speaker 2:It is always for the boy. I don't typically stop and then he doesn't get off. But then he gets jealous that I get to. He's like I'm jealous that you get to come a bunch of times and I only get to do one I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:Sorry, yeah, I get to. He's like I'm jealous that you get to come a bunch of times and I only get to do one. I'm like, okay, sorry, yeah, what? What do you want me to do about it? I can't, I literally can't do anything. Fine, like, don't come and I won't come. Fun, you want to be. Even you know we're gonna do something.
Speaker 1:Even we both don't come oh my god, yeah, I think, if I think back to, if I'm trying to think of like best sex experiences, um, okay, one really comes to mind.
Speaker 1:So this was a couple years ago, okay, and this was I was, you know, single. I mean like dating journey, whatever. So I met this guy and I had gone on a couple dates with him and then he invited me to come to his house on this follow up date where he was going to cook dinner, and he was like I want you to come to my house, I want to cook you dinner, all this stuff, so like leading up to me, going to his house all day like he was texting me and kind of like flirting about it and talking about like what was going to happen. And then I get to his house and I go in and first of all, the house was so clean, which I was surprised. He had like music playing and he was he works like in the music industry and so he actually had this whole thing set up with like all these albums, so he was playing like a record, like on a record player, and he had like candles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's like the ambiance is like like set up this whole thing.
Speaker 1:And then when I got there, he was cooking dinner and I, you know, I was like, oh you know, can I help do anything? He was just like no, no, like he was like, let me just get you a glass of wine. And so he's like I just like have my glass of wine, staying in the kitchen talking while he's like cooking us dinner and stuff, and then we have this really good dinner, um, and then afterwards like we're going through and we're like listening to more records and we're talking about music and drinking wine and we just like this whole fun thing. And then this whole thing is like leading into sex, which like started in the living room when we were in that little area, and so I don, I don't know.
Speaker 1:It starts with this whole. It starts off, you know the whole. You're just like touching, kissing, all this stuff, and it's kind of like flirty, and then it starts getting more serious and then everything like moved into the bedroom and then the whole time that we're having sex. That is like he was just all about like giving and then trying to do all this stuff that to make it the best for me, right, and he was really like kind of like talking to me throughout or like asking me questions, or if I liked stuff or whatever, guiding you through the experience a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah and that was seriously like the best. That was one of my top experiences ever. And I know it wasn't because, if I think about the actual sex, like once we got into the bedroom, yeah, like that was really great, like that was really really good for so many reasons too. But I think what made it go over the top was everything leading up to it. And we talk about foreplay and people think it's just about like giving each other oral and stuff like that. But really foreplay is like teasing, kissing, sexting, the. The effort that you, any effort you put in leading up to the actual act of having sex, is foreplay yeah, like you know, I picture this scenario, which I think this happens a lot.
Speaker 2:You're a mom, you know, maybe you have three kids, maybe you have one kid right, and you come home and you're cooking dinner and the kids are doing homework and all these things are happening and you're fucking exhausted and like you finally get them to bed and then it's like, and your husband just like goes and just touches your pussy and it's like, okay, let's do it. But what if, instead, it was like let me cook dinner, let me help cook dinner, let me help cook dinner, let me cook the dinner. Why don't you go take a shower? You do your, you know your end of the night things. I'll take care of this. Well, let me tell you something If I'm clean and showered in there and we get in the bed and then you start touching me and I'm relaxed a little bit and I don't have the day going on in my brain, I'm a little bit more willing and I'm so appreciative that you kind of gave me this time and like that's like a subconscious thing too Sometimes, like you didn't even realize, like you're thinking about, like he did all these things.
Speaker 2:It's just like you just feel it in your body that you're just not holding all this tension from the day and the grime and stuff that you're like more open to, like having sex.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. Well, and it's like when you feel appreciated by that other person and there's not these lingering feelings of resentment or things that kind of build up with these little tiny things, like you said, throughout the day, you just feel so much more connected to them anyway once you get in the bed and then, you're just thinking or, like you said, maybe even not thinking it, just you could feel like more connected to them.
Speaker 2:And I think that's really important that people like spouses, like, really try to relieve stress, make you feel good during the day and then that makes you feel good going into the sexual experience, because the sexual experiences can be scary or like you know, depending on you, or they could just be like seems like a chore, or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know Well, and I um, so when I was married, we had read this thing about this couple like these little sex challenges kind of a thing, thing about this couple like these little sex challenges kind of a thing. And so it was like it was like this it was a challenge for you to like have sex every day for 30 days, which we were like jesus christ, because at the time, I mean, maybe we were having sex like twice a week or something, and so we're like every day for 30 days, and then the whole idea behind it was that the more you do it, the more connected you feel, which then in turn makes you want to do it more, and also it gives these positive benefits outside of the bedroom too, in your relationship. And so we're like all right, let's try it. And it was like, even if you don't want to, like, just try, just like start, just like get it going and then see. And then obviously like, if you don't want to, you know, don't force yourself.
Speaker 1:But we did, we did. I mean I don't even think we did the whole 30 days, I think we did like two or three weeks, but it for sure it did have this whole positive effect on our relationship. That was just, you know, because I think too, the longer time you go. So let's say, you and your partner are not having sex for whatever reason, and it's not because of like, it's not intentional, you're just sometimes you have different work schedules.
Speaker 1:You're just like two ships passing in the night and you don't have a lot of time and you're busy or you're stressed or whatever. That really can start to negatively impact how you feel about each other or about your relationship and you don't even realize how it's seeping into these other areas of your life because you don't have that physical intimacy that for a lot of people is sort of like the gateway to intimacy in other areas of their relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, the funny thing is, uh, drew texted me the other day. We had a busy week, I had a busy week, I had a busy week this week. And it's really hard because I'm out of bed in the morning before drew, you know, gets up, and then at night I'm typically because I get up so much earlier than him I'll fall asleep.
Speaker 2:You're tired, I'm tired so this week was kind of busy and so we didn't get to like have sex as much. So he texts me the other day and he was like, uh, we should have done it this morning. And I was like no, we should have done it last night. And he was like, okay, here's the thing. If we do it every, if we do it three, at least three times a week, um then we can do it 1200 times before we turn 50. What he's like calculating?
Speaker 1:are you doing the math like doing a goal here?
Speaker 2:like you're calculating, you fucking nerd. Like please don't calculate how many times we need to do it before 50.
Speaker 1:what the hell yeah, he's like he's like habit tracker.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's like I need to have sex with my wife at least 1200 more times before we're 50.
Speaker 1:what the that's his goal, I don't know.
Speaker 2:He just said, like I that maybe because we just turned 40, so he's just calculating out the next. My 10-year goal with tamika is to sink myself in 1200 more times at least oh my god, that's how we're gonna maximize our sex life he's such a fucking nerd.
Speaker 1:I know that's hilarious text me some shit.
Speaker 2:I was like get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1:Jesus, that is so funny, I know. I just think there's just I don't know. There's so many things like do you ever, um, do you guys ever just say, like you know, have these conversations like, is there something you want to try? Yeah, we talk about it all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, is there anything you want me to do better? I ask him these questions like I don't care. We need feedback. Yeah, like anything you want like all fucking do where Drew's just like. I don't really need you to do much more than you're already doing, mm-hmm, because he guides the whole thing, so it's like whatever he wants to do anyway and I mean we all know that it's like the butt thing that I want to do, but not really, you just want to, you just want to.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm gonna check it, yeah. Yeah, we talked about it again another day and he was like you don't want to do it, I know you don't, and I go, I know I don't, but I'm just gonna keep saying I do make yourself believe it, manipulate yourself yeah. I'm manipulating myself right now that I want to do it yeah, I actually do.
Speaker 1:I did kind of make like a sex bucket list okay, and. I hear some stuff that's on it. I shouldn't have said it. I I shouldn't have brought it up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I brought it up because, like I had mentioned before, like from being married and stuff, I just had a really vanilla sex life, which it was like I was fine with it at the time because I also didn't really know anything different. So I really wasn't checking anything off my bucket list until I was single and dating and stuff. And the other thing too is I do think it's a little well okay. On one hand, it's easier to try these things like that are maybe more out there whatever with a committed partner, because you feel safer in that relationship. But on the other hand, personally, I feel like it's easier to try these things with someone you just started dating, because I don't know if I'm ever gonna see this person again yeah, it's kind of like you tell them from the gate that like, okay, I want to do this this is a shit that I don't want to do to like and because you don't know them, it's fine where when it's your partner, you kind of have to have the courage.
Speaker 2:like here's the thing if I just was single lady and I wanted to try to do up the butt and the guy like was like yeah, I want to have, I'll have sex with you, but I probably would have done it sooner. The fact that my husband's like I don't think you really want that because he knows you know, and he's trying to keep me safe too. He's like like, ok, we can do it, but I just don't think you're going to want to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So it, yeah, yeah, so it is. It is like how you were saying it's hard to bring up something when you've been with someone for a long time because for so many reasons, because I mean you do know this person and then you're like kind of being like a little bit vulnerable with them and telling them something that you don't know if they're gonna like judge you or they're gonna maybe not judge you, but they might. It makes you feel like the sex toy example, like, let's say, you, you guys, had never used sex toys before, and then you bring it up like it's something I really want to try. You don't know if your partner is going to be like well, why? Like, am I not good? Like am I not enough for you? Stuff like that, you don't want to hurt their feelings or make them feel like that, because that's not true yeah um but I have a funny story about a sex toy okay, I'm just gonna throw it there.
Speaker 1:Tell us, tell us, I'm just gonna throw it there, okay so you know I'm sure people have used cock rings before right, the one with the little vibrator on the top you know, and so you know you put it on and it's supposed to stimulate your clit and blah, blah, right.
Speaker 2:so then you're coming, any position you're in. Well, one time Drew put it on backwards and it literally he fucking come instantly. What? Yeah, it must have hit a spot or something. He literally put it on and it fucking he, just his stitches come instantly.
Speaker 1:No, yes, no, yeah, oh my.
Speaker 2:God. And then I was like wait a minute, what happened? He goes, I don't fucking know. And I looked at him. I was like you put it on backwards.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious. Yeah, holy shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it must have been one of those things where it hit like his G spot and just instantly come.
Speaker 1:That's so weird.
Speaker 2:I didn't think he could do that. Now, you know.
Speaker 1:Don't put it on backwards.
Speaker 2:Everybody ruin your whole night.
Speaker 1:That is hilarious. Oh my God, yeah, that is hilarious. Oh my god, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna just put myself out there okay, right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, say, say the things. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin up your. No, that was.
Speaker 1:I know you were growing your courage, so like say so, I thought I'd break it up. Yeah, okay, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna say you know, I was, I was unsure how much about my own sex life or sexual preferences I really want to share on this podcast, and I'm still kind of unsure and I don't know that I'm going to talk about a lot of it, but I will. I'm going to put out a little bit more right now than I was intending. Um, so, some of the things okay, so some of the things on my bucket list okay. So some of the things on my bucket list were I hadn't't ever, I had never really done kind of just like rough sex type of stuff and I don't really know that I, I so I still haven't tried any like BDSM type of. Yeah, I don't know, I'm still a little bit and I do think that is something I feel would feel more comfortable with someone I knew a little better like, not someone that's in that type of like they do that play.
Speaker 1:They're like a.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that it is like they have boundaries within that. Not someone that is like new, and so then you guys are both like fumbling through. It's like two virgins, two virgins trying to like have sex. But at least if you have one, they can guide you through that process.
Speaker 1:Because we remember that girl that came in here.
Speaker 2:You know, we had a dominatrix set and then we had this girl come in and she said that he kind of introduced her into the world. Yeah, he showed her everything and he showed the rules and like all that stuff. So maybe it would be safer for you to be with someone that is in that world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but also scary, yeah, also scary, okay, yeah, and then one of the things that I wanted to, okay, so I just wanted to have a threesome. Okay, I did, and I was like open to it being a guy or a girl, the third person in the district yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So it could be either, but I was like I don't just really want to try that, like I just think it would be so fun to have this different, like dynamic or whatever. So, actually, with my ex-husband, I had brought it up one time and so I did, and so this is where it made me think of it. When we're talking about how, like, sometimes it's hard to bring stuff up because you're and that's how I felt I felt very like I don't know how he's going to take this or what he's going to say, or if he's going to judge me. Um, yeah, and it didn't go well, it didn't land well. I'll say that I brought it up and I was so not confident in bringing this up. I brought it up in like a um, wouldn't it be crazy if we just like had a threesome or something? Yeah, we were like drinking too.
Speaker 2:He was already having sex with other girls. Yes, he was, and I didn't know.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that at the time, I didn't know, and he was like no, I don't ever want to do that. And I was like, but it could be a girl, it doesn't have to be like another guy. Cause in my head I'm like, well, he just doesn't want me to, absolutely not. And then I just felt so stupid. I just immediately felt like, why the fuck did I even say that? And so I was just like, oh yeah, I wasn't serious, I was just saying, I was just saying it would be crazy, you know. And so I'm trying to like play it off so awkward, um yeah, I think threesomes are touchy subjects for people especially because it's one thing if you're saying I want to incorporate a sex toy.
Speaker 1:It's another thing if you're saying I want a whole other person yeah, I think Drew would never go for it.
Speaker 2:Also, drew's never had sex with anyone else but me, so I mean that's really gonna overcome some hurdles here too. So yeah, I mean it's just a different kind of dynamic that I think in headspace you have to be in to bring someone else into your marriage for but, you know, I think, as a wife or husband, there should be a discussion now, whether you the like, a full discussion about it, whether it's still that you're uncomfortable, like you're like no, I would never do that.
Speaker 2:I think you could still talk to your partner about like well, why would you want to do that? Or like you know, you could still be inquisitive and asking like and have a conversation. You don't necessarily have to shut it down and like. So, for example, if Drew came to me and said I want a threesome, like yeah, I mean, I don't really want to do a threesome either with Drew, but I would just kind of like be like well, you know why do you want to do it?
Speaker 1:I was like you know why do you want to do it.
Speaker 2:It's like you want to have sex with another person. Is it that you want to see me have sex with another person? Like what is it that is enticing to you, so that maybe like the threesome isn't what we're gonna do, but we can kind of figure out what like is gonna get you off. The same kind of way.
Speaker 1:I don't know, you know, right, right, you know. So I'm going to fast forward here. So from that time to now, I have had multiple threesomes, Mm-hmm, and I will say this is what has been the most successful. So, if you're listening and you're ever thinking about it, or you have been talking about it with your partner, or, if you're single, the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, okay, so let me say it from. So yeah well, okay, so let me say it from. So I have had threesomes where it's a couple like they're already an existing couple and I'm just this third person coming in, and then I also have had an experience where everyone's single, it's three single people. So I will say the situations, what.
Speaker 2:And your situation is girl, girl, boy.
Speaker 1:Always right.
Speaker 2:It's always been two females, girl boy, always right, it's always been two females one male? Yeah, it hasn't been.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, I have not had sex with two guys at the same time Because, honestly, that's the kind of threesome I want.
Speaker 2:If I was going to have it, I'll say this and this is me being a little evil devil Two things is me being evil, a little evil devil. I two things. I think I would want to have sex with two boys, and not because I want to be like what do they say?
Speaker 1:the pig on the stick, or whatever yeah, because like you, have one inside you here.
Speaker 2:Yeah so you have one inside you going your vagina and then one in your mouth, right? I never want to be that too much going on what I want to see and this is weird.
Speaker 1:It's not weird, just say it because I agree with you on this yeah, I want to see the boy fucking the other boy because, I want to see the pain on their face when the dick goes in, and I am very interested.
Speaker 2:I just think it's like a it's this intense look. Yeah, you know, obviously I'm seeing a correlation that I like watching things. Yeah, I want to see that. You know, Face it's like looks so intense. I really love it. You know there's this pose I do.
Speaker 1:Oh, a pose, boudoir pose, okay, not in bed. Not when you're in bed.
Speaker 2:No, I do a lot of to pose in bed, but I have this one pose that I'm teaching the new photographers how to do. Okay, and your head is really like this all the way back, but you're laying down.
Speaker 2:So you're laying down flat on a bed on your back, okay, you have to arch your back and so, and then you have to bring your chin all the way back, so you're like on the crown of your head, so like all the blood is kind of rushing to your face a little bit, and it gives you this like intense look, yeah, and girls really like it. It's almost like you're in pain, but you're not really mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:And it gives this like kind of sexy, intense look and I, when I was teaching the girls, I was like this is why you have to have their head all the way back like this, because this they everyone gives us like face.
Speaker 1:I don't know what, yeah like naturally goes in it.
Speaker 2:So I really like those faces. I don't know why that almost like you're in pain, you know, cause I'm evil, um, and so yeah, I would, I think, cause here's the thing I really don't want to look pussy. It's just not really a thing for me. I really I don't know why I I actually might rather eat my husband's butthole than like a pussy.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I would do both. Yeah, I mean not your husband's butthole, but you know. Yeah, another guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I think I would want to have sex with two boys, but like I don't want too many things, happening.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing, right. Servicing two dicks is a lot Okay. Servicing one dick is already enough work. Have a threesome with two completely straight guys who are not interested in doing anything to help me out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you guys do stuff with each other. Give me a little break, like eat me out, and then you can be jacking him off or like you know, I don't know, but just give me a little break.
Speaker 1:Or I just want to have a threesome with two guys who are pleasure doms, and the whole thing is just about my pleasure. Only, I don't give a fuck what you guys want. Yeah you're just getting me off, and that's the goal of today yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2:That's all I'm gonna do. Sex for some weird reason.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean, I really do want to see that too, except for so I was talking to this one guy for a little bit, okay, and also, we're never judging anyone's kinks again. We're this is a judgment free zone, but I'm just telling you, we're just saying what we like and don't like. So I'm talking to this guy and I'm telling him, like this is what I want to do, and he was like yeah, I'm down, like I'll have sex with like another guy because he's kind of like bi-curious and I think he has had some like sexual experiences with guys or whatever. So anyway, so we're talking about this and we're just texting about it. And then it was okay and I was all into it, until he started getting a little too graphic with the stuff. He was saying. That, just like it.
Speaker 1:It gave me the ick because he said he said can't wait to gag on cock with you. Excuse me, no, first of all, I'm not gagging on anyone's cock. Second of all, I don't really want to see you gag on a cock and together we're just sucking on this dick. I don't really need your help, we're just each like a little lollipop. No, get out of here. I mean, I think too. As soon as he said that immediate block, I was done.
Speaker 2:I think because you're choosing to have like for you specifically, you're choosing to have this sexual experience. You're wanting, in a certain way, especially the first time. You can kind of explore later if there's different things that you like. I mean once you kind of feel it. But you do kind of want like I'm picky about this situation because this is an experience. I want to go. Well, I want to do these things because I mean I know you have. I mean maybe we should talk about this a little bit. How have those threesomes gone?
Speaker 1:yeah. So I want to circle back to when I was saying, like, if you are listening and you're a couple who's like thinking about this, so the ones that I've had where they're a couple which I'm trying to think, I think all of them were married except for one so first of all, you and your partner talk about it ahead of time and you create whatever these kind of like rules are. So like one couple, the, and like what? Like he said, what's the goal for them, what's the goal for yourself, but also what's the goal for them? Right, and so like the goal for this one couple is like she just really wanted to like experiment with a girl. It wasn't necessary, and so he was like okay, kind of like, okay, you can do that if I'm there, I know the thing. Like okay, let's have this threesome so I can like kind of be a part of it. And she felt like she would be more comfortable with that, with him being there and kind of guiding, because like he could kind of guide what's going on. And then, like, if she felt weird about something, like he could just kind of like do stuff with me or like whatever. So that was kind of their goal and like she felt really uncomfortable with him and I like having sex, like we could do stuff together, we could kiss, we could like I suck his dick or he can eat me out or whatever. But she was like I don't really want you guys to actually fuck, which I thought was fine. And then, until I was there, and then I was kind of like bummed out about it, I was like come, come on.
Speaker 1:But anyway that was a really good experience. Also, doing it in a hotel instead of like in your own home is so much better because you're just on neutral ground, like you're not in anyone's house. No one is expected to like host or like clean up after anything. It's not. You're not having sex in your marital bed with this stranger. So doing it in a hotel and it kind of makes it this fun little outing, and then you could just leave it there, like you could just go there, have this experience and then leave it there and come home to your like regular life or whatever. Um, also, it was super helpful. So every single time I hung out with these people in a non-sexual setting, one or two times beforehand. So we either like went to lunch, went to dinner, um, went to a fucking farmer's market, walked around like hung out like did stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you go on kind of like dates with them. Yeah, and you have to see if, like, everyone has to be on the same page, so not only like the rules or guidelines that you guys are stating as a couple, it has to be obviously communicated to this third person so that they know what's going on, and then they also have their own rules that can be communicated. So everyone's on the same page. You go into it and there's no, there's no surprises, because that's not what you want.
Speaker 1:Um, also, I think that one experience was I thought what was nice too is like, even though this doesn't really need to be said or it shouldn't have to I just thought it was nice that we all kind of vocalized because we were having drinks before we like went to the hotel and we're kind of talking about it then too, and we all were just kind of saying like, hey, if at any time anyone feels uncomfortable, just let's just stop. Like, just say it, it's fine, no one's feelings are gonna get. No, like you can get all the way to the point You've paid for this hotel room, you're there, you even had your clothes off and you're like, you know, I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 2:Safe word, that's fine. Just create a safe word. Yeah, a little safe word, whatever.
Speaker 1:It's totally fine. After. What is the plan afterwards? Because, awkward yeah, yes, because it could get easily awkward at the end. And then you guys are all just there and it's kind of like you know what? Are we all going to get in bed and cuddle or what the fuck are we doing here? So you just have a plan of like if anyone's staying at the hotel, if everyone's leaving, whatever, then you kind of know from there um, so I follow a uh sex worker on TikTok and I mean this might be some advice.
Speaker 2:It's kind of weird advice because I guess it's illegal here, but you know it's legal in Australia to have a prostitute.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So she is a prostitute or a sex worker, not a prostitute. And she talks about how she like will have sex with couples Like they want to have a threesome, and so I mean that might be something that you want to consider. Is like when you have a professional, just like when you were talking about the Dom thing, when you have someone that's in that world when you actually have a professional that's renting the hotel for you.
Speaker 2:That's anticipating everyone's needs. So maybe you have to go to Australia. I'm not encouraging prostitution here, but she like so. She had told this story recently. She was like I had a couple hire me and I mean she's five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2:It was five thousand dollars to see her, whatever, and she was, like the wife, only watches yeah and the husband, you know, for whatever reason is, and she was saying like it was really frustrating for her because she just wished the wife would just join in. But you and they had a thing where the husband talks to the wife though throughout, like the sex experience though, and he's like mean to her, that's what she likes, that's what the wife likes, she like wants to be talked down to, and she said she even had a really hard time with it because she wants to like in his face and like be, like, be nice, but like they're paying me and like he's like degrading her and she's just sitting there loving it.
Speaker 2:Yes, weird, yeah, and so she talks about having sex with, you know, couples all the time, and I do think like she is a professional, so like that experience seems a little bit better right, like cause you have someone that does this, that like anticipates people's needs, that like it's really well thought out, like the whole experience. So I don't know, maybe you need to go to Australia, so yeah, I, I do think too like.
Speaker 1:so the first time I did it that couple, they also had never done it before and so it kind of like although I think it made it a little bit awkward like we didn't really know what we were doing, it also made everyone ahead of time feel a little bit more comfortable that we all were in the same boat, like no one felt stupid or weird it was like well, we all are just kind of fumbling around like figuring out what the fuck's going on here um, but it was like fun, I think, like the times that it were like it was just three single people.
Speaker 1:Um, it was, it was good. I mean, I prefer to be a couple and, for a few reasons, like I think, to me, I like the idea of this situation being very low commitment on my end. As being the single person, as being like the third, I appreciate just going into this experience, having fun, and then I leave and I'm not worried about any ongoing relationship after that relationships with them.
Speaker 1:I'm just like that was cool deuces and that's it. I don't have to worry about it. And they worry about their own relationship and I feel very non. It's non-committal for me, which I I like that. I don't want to feel whatever. And so when it's like three single people, it's like a weird. It's like a little bit of a weird vibe where you're like do we continue talking after?
Speaker 2:is there any way to getting to know each other, like what's happening?
Speaker 1:yeah, and it's like a weird like you. I mean, I think this could be the same with couples, I guess too. But it's like you have to be careful. Like, let's say, you're the guy in this situation. Okay, you have to be careful about you're giving too much attention to one girl and not the other girl and this and that when, if you're in a couple, you're more likely to have conversations about this whole thing ahead of time and like talk about what your goals are. Where it's like just three single people and you're kind of doing this, it's just like it's a little disconnected, so that I don't know.
Speaker 2:I enjoyed it more when it was a couple couples, but as far as, like, when it's two guys, I don't know they're not yeah, I don't know, I don't have a job you've had sex with two guys at one time, and if it was a great experience for you, I want to hear it.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, so I mean I think it's the same. It's the same as just like when you are wanting to try out something new, whether that's with your partner or with a new person, I mean, all the rules still apply and making sure everyone feels safe communication, yeah, and just communication the whole time, not just beforehand but during and after yeah, we have talked about aftercare and that could even just be as simple as checking in, just checking in to see, like how was it for you?
Speaker 2:and builds like trust within the relationship.
Speaker 1:I think really doing the check-ins yeah, for sure you know like that person's thinking about you yeah, and your needs yeah, but I think any type of I mean I think any type of sex, it just it's better when it's like more playful and people aren't like taking themselves so seriously I mean I don't know like a dom thing, that is really serious. Well, that is really serious. I haven't done that and I kind of want to try it but do you want to be the or?
Speaker 2:do you want someone to treat you like poop.
Speaker 1:I want to be the dom and I want to treat someone like poop you do.
Speaker 2:I want to treat a guy like you want to like step on him with your heel and stuff. Yeah, yeah, have like a collar on him. Yeah, Like he's my little bitch.
Speaker 1:Um, well, not drew. I do like a little puppy, I know, except he's such a dick, yeah, well, yeah, I know, I just want to, and I'd have to make up a story like I, because I would feel bad for this guy. So I'd have to make up a story that he's like a fucking dick and like and he needs to want this too, which some do, like some people that that is their kink degradation is their kink.
Speaker 2:One of the dom girls told me one of our clients. She told me that she used to work at a sex club, a secret sex club in the South Bay if you know about it, let's see. And men would come in there and they would want to like you, put your stilettos on and she would stomp on their fucking balls.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, I want to do that Just like stomp on their fucking balls, oh my God, just like stomp on them. And I don't know if I should say this, but she said that it was a lot of people in law enforcement that would like that specifically Stomping on the balls. She said that there also was one where he wanted of course he wants to be a baby, and he wants you to be his mom oh dress up like a baby and you have to change his diaper.
Speaker 1:The whole hell. No, and then? The worst one was I mean yeah, the worst one was sorry again, not trying to shame anybody's face, but I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm not wiping anyone's ass, I'm not changing your fucking diaper, my kids diapers, right shit. I still had to do that for years, um, where he wanted her to shit all over him, no. So the club said, no, we'll let you do that here. But you have to basically rent the club out because we have to like plastic the whole thing up, dexter the place and then you have to pay for the cleaning fee and all that stuff hazmat suits and she did it.
Speaker 1:That is crazy, that's wild. Like how many times can you poop? Yeah?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, you're just like pooping here, pooping here and pooping here yeah, you're like how long does that last? Like what are we doing here? Like you're taking laxatives and just shitting all over him, like what's happening? Or is this like little piles of poop, what? What are we doing? Like I don't get it, like what I don't know? You know, that's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to figure out like you know what? Happens in these situations?
Speaker 1:I mean here's the thing I don't want to know. I was gonna say I'm okay with not finding out. Yeah, please don't let us interesting to hear that.
Speaker 2:You know people want that like people.
Speaker 1:There's all kinds of things. There's all kinds of things that people are into and you just never know and that's okay I won't poop on anybody as long as it's consensual with adults.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think whatever you want to do is fine. Yeah, sure, spice it up.
Speaker 1:Poop on each other oh my god, yeah, I think there's so many ways that you can have like really really good sex, hot sex it could be so small, like little things, that you change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I saw this lady the other day and she, well, it was on tiktok. Of course, everything that I get off tiktok my brain is probably rotted, but uh, she talks about okay. So, yes, we all know like you clench your pussy on them, like you could do that, it's like tighter for them. But she talks about it like you clench it and then you clench it again and then you do these little pulses. That's what her whole book is about, like you're doing Pilates?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're like pulsating and like really like doing all these kinds of things, and she like, she like teaches you how it should feel and like all of these things. And I think there's like I think she wrote a book about it and so like it can be that small A book about pussy clenching. Well, you're a pocket pussy, so you may be getting some more. I have to get that book. And I thought it was really interesting. Like I didn't think about that, that small thing that you do yourself as a woman, you don't even have to tell your husband you're doing these things.
Speaker 2:Yeah and hopefully he will notice it Like you just do it and I mean, yeah, you probably have to concentrate on that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, think about it hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so yeah, I mean, maybe we'll at her, we'll at her, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you guys can see, and I think there's a book. I don't know if it's her book, but she definitely had a book in her hand and it had like visual guides. It was like this is your vagina, this is how it goes up. Suck it up more. Oh my God, I know, it was really specific.
Speaker 1:That's hilarious. Yeah, we'll put those in the notes, yeah For sure. Yeah, well, when we were talking about this episode too, we thought it would be good if we added some like cringeworthy or like funny sex stories. So I think what, we have some, but then we also asked listeners on our Instagram to submit some, so we have some funny stories. I think, actually, mostly, you have the stories. Okay, you don't have any. Huh, okay, I have one that was pretty cringeworthy. Okay, I was doing anal and when he went to go pull out, I farted. Was it a loud one? Oh, super fucking loud.
Speaker 1:Was it wet? I don't think so. I don't think so. But yeah, I mean, you're just jamming all this air in there. Yeah, it's like the quiffs. And then you, I know I like to say quiffs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're shoving that air they oh I was been thinking about I hadn't quiffed it a long time mm-hmm, I don't know, I am really maybe I'm holding tighter in there, oh my god there you go. Yeah, or maybe just got a loosey goosey. Yeah, I have two kind of horrible stories with Drew and I, which I probably shouldn't even say. These stories, they're disgusting. Um, I can't wait okay. So the first one is you know, sometimes you're just like oh god okay.
Speaker 2:I'm nervous Afterwards after the sex, Okay, and then you're just laying there with each other. It's like sometimes Drew's just still on top of me. Yeah, you know, you're just like I don't know, maybe talking or I don't know. Who knows right. And one time I have a lot of allergies and my nose is always itchy or like I sneeze or whatever, and so I did a little sneeze and the whole dick and literally just like spat out no, oh my god okay, this next one is probably disgusting.
Speaker 2:Disclaimer okay which I'm sure it's happened to like other people, but this happened recently is this your crime scene story?
Speaker 2:yeah, oh god recently I, we had, we had, and I guess I started my period Like we had just taken a shower, I had just went pee, so I must have just started my period right when we were doing it. Man, there was blood everywhere, oh God. There was blood on my hip, like I think he touched me, and then they got blood on the hip and the sheath and, like I didn't know, we had sex. I got up to use the bathroom and there was just blood and I was like fuck man good thing it's my husband, otherwise that could really ruin like a sex thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I have a bloody story and good thing that he didn't go down on me that night. Might have been, but it was probably the penetration that like started it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so good thing he didn't go down on me that night, so otherwise I'd be really upset for him.
Speaker 1:You know, I have a really embarrassing blood story too. So actually it was only 17 when this happened, so I was mortified.
Speaker 1:Um so I had this boyfriend and luckily I had been with his boyfriend for like a year at this point and so, anyway, I was at his house and his mom wasn't home, and so we weren't having sex, but like he was laying on his bed and like we were fully clothed too, so he's laying on his bed and then I like get, we're just making out and I'm kind of like straddling him, but I was wearing this like jean skirt, and so when he, when I go to straddle him, it's just like my underwear is just on him and so this is going on for like a few minutes or whatever, and I go to like get off and there's like I could tell I was like, oh my God, he's starting my period.
Speaker 1:I could tell and I literally was just blood all over his jeans and I was so fucking embarrassed I was like so fucking nice.
Speaker 1:And he was just like, oh yeah, we just got to hurry up and clean this before my mom gets home. And so we had like run to the bathroom and just like, trying to clean his jeans, and we could not, like, we could not get the blood out. I gotta throw him in the garbage, threw him in the fucking trash. And then he like tried to put all his other trash shit on top of it so his mom wouldn't see it. Oh my God, that was so embarrassing. But yeah, so I had to go home, put my little tampon in, but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I know it's sad, that was sad, but anyway, okay.
Speaker 2:So funny stories, yeah okay so one of the stories was they were there was a couple having sex mm-hmm, I mean, this is like one of the first times they were having sex and she, I don't know, was making a move or something, and then she actually kicked him in his face oh my god, yikes yep.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you know, abuse fun yeah, um, another one was they were having sex. All of these are from the girls perspective. So they're having sex. It was getting a little rough and um they she like felt like her finger was hurting or something, but she just kept going. She was like fuck it, like we just got to finish this session, whatever. And she said like when they were done, she turned, her whole nail was broken, ripped off and there was like blood everywhere. What the?
Speaker 1:fuck.
Speaker 2:Oh my god I was like that's gangster, you just like gotta keep going, you're just like in pain. Your whole nail fell off whatever fucked your nail right off um. And then another one was they're they were having sex and she said that they had gotten high.
Speaker 1:They were a little drunky, I think.
Speaker 2:And then they had like smoked some weed before they started or whatever, and they were just like doing it and like all the stuff and he like started taking her clothes off and he had like thrown her bra across the room or whatever and they're having sex. And then she's like starting to smell something and she's like why does it smell like a fire? And she looks in the corner of the room and her bra was on top of one of their lit candles and there was a small fire. Oh my god, they're like.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, and they're like in the middle of doing it, everything like caught on fire holy shit, I wonder if they stopped having sex, put out the fire, if they were just like fuck it yeah, I think they would have to stop. Yeah, bummer.
Speaker 2:And the whole house. You know Smelling like smoke.
Speaker 1:The little detectors going off just beeping.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, good thing she smells it.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, yeah, that's good, that is good, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:That smells silly, I don't know.
Speaker 1:There was one submitted also this is actually from a guy's perspective and said he was having sex with his wife and then two of his nieces walked in and started looking for toys in the closet, that's the worst Fucking kids. Yeah the little kids, man, like get out of here, you know. Or like pets, like I try, you know my dog always wants to be in my fucking room.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I always wonder this about people Like you know, in the books and stuff that I read, they always put their pets out of the room when they're doing it. Yes, yes, so is that like what people do?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean because my dog would just bark at the door, especially if, like if I am in the room and then he could hear stuff going on and then I don't know he thinks I'm getting like attacked or something, I don't know. Sometimes we're barking, okay, but one time I was having sex with someone at my house and I didn't realize my bedroom window was wide open and I feel like we were being pretty fucking loud. And then afterwards I realized the I could hear people talking and I was like the fuck is that? And I look over and the window was wide open.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, my god my neighbors just heard all of that but whatever, yeah.
Speaker 1:So one time I I let Gunnar in and so I was like, hey, he'll just fucking lay down, like just lay down. So he just was laying there, it was fine. And then he just kind of forgot that he was there because he was on the floor. He's just like laying on the floor so we finish having sex or whatever, and then literally right at the end and I look over and this dog is right behind me and he's just laying there just fucking staring at me like like he was just watching the whole thing.
Speaker 2:I don't like it so creepy yeah, get out of here, get the fuck out. I don't look at you when you're looking like looking at a dick yeah, looking at her vagina. I'm not staring at you. Who's rude? Don't be rude.
Speaker 1:Okay, we don't even like to look at ourselves in the mirror. We don't need you looking back at us either. No, come on. Yeah, we don't need eye contact with the dog.
Speaker 2:No, oh God, yeah, or people's cats. Maybe they're on them or something.
Speaker 1:Not a cat, and I'm allergic, so yeah, which you just found out.
Speaker 1:I just found out last year I'm allergic to cats. Sorry, good thing I don't have a cat, but um, yeah, I mean I think just in general, like not taking things too seriously in the bedroom, like you have to be able to laugh at stuff because, especially because sex is just like messy, it's imperfect. It's imperfect like things can happen, and if you're just trying to be, I think it's embarrassing. If's imperfect like things can happen and if you're just trying to be, I think it's embarrassing. If you're like trying to be so sexy and you're like you're just trying too hard, it just I don't like that.
Speaker 2:Like if a guy is just too serious about it, I can't like get into it and like here's the thing you could be serious during, but like after you have to be able to laugh at yourself. If these like things happen, like your dick just like flies out, flies out and all your cum comes out with it and you're not laughing after that and you're just like and the guy is like ew, you're disgusting or something. Can you imagine if that was the case?
Speaker 2:and you just like thinks I was disgusting. First of all, you put all that shit in there. That's your fault. Yeah, that's all your stuff. And I had to sneeze. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? It's like a natural response.
Speaker 1:I had to sneeze, right then, oh my God, I would love to hear more of the funny and cringy sex stories, please. So send us a DM. If you have any cringeworthy or funny sex stories, we would love it and we'll read them. We'll read them either on another episode or on our instagram. We would love to hear your stories and to retell them for you yeah, so please have good sex pleasure each other.
Speaker 2:Talk about that with each other. Maximize your foreplay yes, everything negotiable.
Speaker 1:Please do it all communication is foreplay and necessary, do the dishes for her, please, anything. I fucking hate the dishes, yeah, or clean the toilet, yeah. So send us a DM at maximalistlifepodcast and we will see you guys next time. Hope you're having fun. Tits up, dicks out.