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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 19 - Are You Living Your Life or Just Documenting It?
We’re diving into comparison culture this week—how social media messes with our heads, sets totally unrealistic standards, and what it actually looks like to appreciate your journey while still dreaming big.
✨ Here’s what we’re chatting about:
🤯 The mental spiral of "How can someone afford that?" and how comparison steals your peace
🧦👠 Side hustles you might not expect—from selling socks to OnlyFans—and unpacking the judgment around how people make their money
📸 Why Brianna stopped following other photographers early in her career (and how that decision helped her stay in her lane)
📖 The difference between sharing your life for memories vs. performing it for likes
🌿 The power of being present and actually living your life—not just chasing what everyone else seems to have
We wanna hear from you! 💬 How do you deal with comparison on social? Slide into our DMs or share your thoughts in the comments! 💖
Stay Connected:
📲 Follow us on Instagram: @maximalistlifepodcast
🎙️ Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify – it helps us so much!
Welcome to maximalist life. I'm your host, brianna. Hi, I'm Tamika. Today, we are talking about comparing yourself to others and how to just be in the moment with life yeah, so wait.
Speaker 2:So do you ever play the game like how can someone afford that? In your head, like you, you think about like it could be like your friend or an acquaintance, and you're just like, how does that bitch get that? Yeah, like we're making the same amount of money, but she can afford this g-wagon and I can't. It's because that is in debt. That's how. Yeah, or she got some high side hustle. I don't know about that I need to get in on.
Speaker 1:So gabby told me. So we were at the studio. So gabby's one of our makeup artists. She told me her friend is making hell of money. She just be selling her socks. Is making hell of money, she just be selling her socks online.
Speaker 1:These men want these, okay, so they want these like used worn socks yeah, there's like this website and then you could do all this weird shit. And then these guys like they be getting the socks and they're like I just want it. Like, like they want it like the funkier smelling. Yeah, this bitch has her boyfriend wearing the socks and he'd be like run, goes on a run and she's feet are hella sweaty I'm gonna do the boyfriend socks.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna do this. He's making all this money, so we had this huge conversation on my vacation about like doing onlys fans.
Speaker 1:I call it also.
Speaker 2:You always say onlys, it's only fans I know, that's what I like to call it. Just like we call it costcos instead of costco. Yeah, we always say costcos. That's like what our friends it. Just like we call it costco's instead of costco. Yeah, we always say costco's. That's like what our friends group, just like when you have a nickname for something. That's just what we say. So my thing is only only his fans. Yeah, yeah, I like to say only um.
Speaker 2:And I was like I'll post whatever, I don't give a fuck, like it doesn't matter. I'll show my whole vagina like I don't care. Two reasons I don't have small kids that I think would like they would judge me on that. My kids would be like do it, mom, like they would be encouraging of it. You know they'll video it for you. Yeah, no, but I would do it. I don't think that it's morally wrong to sell your body, and you know why is it? That you can sell your skills and your brain, but you can't use your body. You know, I think it's totally fine, my. So one of the people that went on vacation with us was like you know, I think it's morally wrong, you know why, like you can't.
Speaker 2:His thing was like you're hurting, yeah you're hurting so much that you like need to sell your body or like that. Like you can't make sixty thousand dollars doing something else. And I'm like, yeah, but if I'm making whatever I'm making at the studio. And then it sparked, and then I like got this little side hustle where I'm making an extra sixty thousand from home. From home doing some easy doing stuff like that only belongs to me, right, I don't have, I'm not relying on anyone else to do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sucking dicks.
Speaker 2:No, and I'm not relying on this person to do this for me and this person to do it's like I control the whole situation on a small level and I put it out there and I'm making some money. Why is, first of all, why is it wrong? Second of all, why is it like, oh, you're stooping to like what if that makes me $1,000 a week? You don't want an extra $1,000 a week. I would love an extra $1,000 a week. Yeah, just to fuck off. The thing is, I want to use that money to fuck off. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just fuck around with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go fucking wine tasting every day, or that's hey, yeah every every week, or that's my thousand dollar car payment, my two thousand dollar car payment that I'm gonna buy my fucking g wagon.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say let's play this game real quick. If you had an extra thousand dollars a week that you did not need for bills any of your regular expenses, anything, yeah what would you spend it on? I'm?
Speaker 2:buying a g wagon. Okay, I I that, or I'm buying some designer shit. I'm just like fucking off some designer shit. I don't really have anything else that I really want to do. I mean, yeah, we could go wine tasting more, but it's not like we can't afford to go wine tasting now. It's like that's just an effort.
Speaker 1:If I had an extra thousand dollars a week that I didn't need for any of my other shit. And you can't.
Speaker 2:The rule, too, is you can't save it you can't save it.
Speaker 1:You can't save it you can't invest it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like what would you spend your thousand dollars? Yeah, I would. What'd you?
Speaker 1:do? I would hire a full-time cook. Um well, can it be someone who's like like a housekeeper, but they also like they clean my house and they cook and they do you want to have? Like a house manager. Yeah, I want a house manager. That's what I want yeah I want someone to just do my laundry and get all my outfits together and cook and like grocery shop and keep my house clean yeah, I mean, I would like a personal room cleaner, just my.
Speaker 2:I would like a personal closet cleaner that she comes in every week, reorganizes and then her and I work together to pick out my outfits for the week and then she puts them all out, steams them, irons them and all that stuff which I could do, because I have an assistant and I just don't do that.
Speaker 1:I know we really underutilize our assistant.
Speaker 2:Here's the thing too. I saw this clip and I see this all the time and I think sometimes when I see these, it makes me realize these other things. But like where they're. Like, if you're making so much money on money, the fact that you don't have an assistant is ridiculous. Yeah, even if it's four hours.
Speaker 2:I mean, the amount of packages she returns to amazon is crazy to me and that would be like yeah that would feel overwhelming to me every week, like I gotta take these packages, drew's, like why do you just have all this shit here? But even down to the fact that we came home from vacation last night, drew was like I want wine when I get home, but Britt's the only one that's home so he cannot get wine for me. And so ding, ding or text text Can you get wine for me and drop it off at my house? So it's all ready for me when I get home, because we just didn't think of that before we left. Also, my house cleaner came while I was gone and so my house was fully clean. My bedroom was fully clean when I got home and I was like this is fucking amazing.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I'm mad about that because I had to fire my house cleaner recently and I need a fucking new one. Did you ever use mine?
Speaker 2:No, because she won't ever fucking text me back. Yeah, the thing with brianna I don't know what's happening. Like she like used my people and then like they never message her back, and then they're so loyal to me, and then no, they just treat me like fuck this bitch everybody well, try to text her again and then just tell her she's not taking oh, you text her. Oh well, it's like she could at least say that you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she could at least say yeah, I mean, I've had her for 12 years, so here's the thing. So I think that's why, too like and I pay, like god she should be charging me so much more yeah, she's a lot cheaper.
Speaker 1:Grandfather's un. Yeah, um, on the assistant thing too. So luckily yesterday was Friday, so I know she wasn't working at her other job and I'm out and about and I I was over. I was probably like 20 minutes away from my house, like not super far, but I had an appointment to go to, and right before my neighbor texts me and he's like hey, your garage door is open and it's been open for, like she's, like, I noticed it an hour ago and she knows, like I'm always parked in the garage- yeah so she's like I don't think that you're home, so I just wanted to let you know.
Speaker 1:I was like what the fuck? How's my garage door open? And it was like bentley wasn't gonna be home from school for a few hours and so, yep, I call her up and I'm like do you have time to just run over to my house and close the garage and check on my dog and make sure he didn't run away, or something?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She came over, did it and just was like, yeah, everything's good to go Shut the garage and I didn't have to worry about it.
Speaker 2:And it was like God. The thing, too is it could 60 to 100 a week, depending on how many hours. Like for three to five hours, yeah, and you will see how. Three to five hours basically like a half a shift for someone to work you can just take so much off your plate and have more use of your time just utilizing that assistant, and I think that it's like I mean, this is what happens with me all the time like my iphone, I don't utilize the thing like it should be, I'm not in there with, like you know, doing all the things to make my life easier. No, yeah, and so I think that if I really utilize her, I really which I might. That is my goal now, now that I'm off on monday. Well, you know what?
Speaker 1:you need to add to her fucking list is you need to have her put your commissions in on payroll. I know because you're not going to get paid commissions.
Speaker 2:I've been utilizing my uh boss to do that yeah, you've been taking advantage of your boss.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm putting my foot down and I'm no longer doing, because you know what it's getting. Worse, it's infiltrating into the studio because some of these bitches aren't even putting hours on their time cards and I'm catching it when I'm running payroll and I'm like but they're not putting it on adp no like they'll put.
Speaker 1:Like so brie had four days or something she worked, but only two days were in her time card and I'm like so I have to go back to the work schedule and check everyone's work schedule and see when they worked, and la la, and then I have to text her and then be like, did you actually work on these days? Because it wasn't like, uh, gabby had those hours on hers where I could have figured out, oh, gabby covered for her, or something like that. And you're like, oh yeah, forgot to put those days in. And I'm like you guys just don't want to get paid or what. How come you don't have them put in ADP? No, they do. That's what I'm saying. Oh, it is. She had two days in ADP and two days not.
Speaker 2:Oh, they're not doing the spreadsheets anymore, right.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, okay. They just have their app, their app. Okay, there's. So you're just double checking your hours and your commissions to make sure everybody's paid.
Speaker 1:I know and then every week I let you guys know I'm not going to do this anymore. And this is the last week I'm going to do it, and next week, if you don't do it you're not going to get paid. And then the next week you guys fuck around and you don't do it, and then I feel really bad that you're not going to get paid and I get stressed out. I go oh, I know that they rely on money.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, the new photographers are scared to do make a mistake, so they're gonna do it, don't fill that shit out quick yeah and uh and I kept doing and I and I also don't know why I keep doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah and uh, and I kept doing and I and I also don't know why I keep doing that. And so you know, I know you're mad about this, but I hired a leadership coach yeah, I know, because I really being a good leader is really important to me and it's something I have tried to put a lot of work into. But I also feel like I'm not where I want to be, and so she's been helping me, and so I was on a zoom call with her and I was using the payroll thing as an example of like. She's like what are some things you're like struggling with? And I'm like these bitches won't put their hours in.
Speaker 1:I'm like, you know, it's funny, like most people would be like, oh my God, like my employees are committing time card fraud. I'm like, no, mine don't even want to get paid. They're not even putting the fucking hours that they're working. And so I'm telling her that's the situation. And I'm like the past couple months it's been happening with different employees here and there. Yeah, and she's like why do you keep putting in their hours? I'm like I don't know. And she goes you know, you tell them something, and then you, it's like a kid, like you say yeah well, here's the consequence you're not gonna get paid, but then you do it for them anyway.
Speaker 1:So then they don't take you seriously and I'm like I know, and it's weird because I feel like I never am I'm not really like that about other stuff and um, and she's like are you an older sister I'm like taking care of? Yeah, don't ask me about my sister. And so she's like I just, I don't know I get this vibe like you're just like trying to take care of them. I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm like scared, like, oh, my God, what if they don't get paid?
Speaker 1:and then they can't pay their rent yeah, and she's like, yeah, but you know what If they were relying so hard on that?
Speaker 2:money they would be putting the day. The last thing I'm thinking about is my commission check.
Speaker 1:But the only problem with that is then they haven't been seeing you putting in your commission every day, so then it's not ingrained in their brain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I would usually do it on a Wednesday anyways, when they weren't there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're bad, you're so bad, but they'll do it and. I have it on their checklist, where you didn't have a checklist like that before I get away with a lot more stuff. But you also do the most stuff out of anybody. Yeah, so and so I get a little bit yeah it works out, but so anyway. So yeah, the, what were we talking?
Speaker 2:about On your trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and you were talking about, uh, only's fans my only's fans.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I mean, I just think that people can make money however they want, and so if you have a little high side hustle going, show me so that I can get a g-wagon tell us, yeah, tell us how to get it, because I might just be popping my pussy on all these fans so that I can get mine please help tamika not to pop her pussy no, I mean, I think my my sparked is my side hustle, and so that has been like.
Speaker 2:When people see me like going on vacations, I'm like yeah, you know why? Because Drew and I work every Saturday on top of our work and I'm working during stuff and making appointments and doing all that stuff which people don't see it goes back to that whole hustle culture thing again.
Speaker 1:Like all they see is they go on your Instagram and they just see you going on a hella vacation or buying stuff. Buying stuff going wine tasting all the time. You're doing all this like awesome shit all the time and they're just like oh, you know, I know that she only works at the studio four days a week or whatever it is that they think and that's not really true, that's not necessarily true.
Speaker 1:Yeah and they people just don't see the behind the scenes and all the hustle that people put into have the lifestyle that they want to have so it's like, you know, comparing is really hard, you know, it just makes you not feel good. Typically they're gonna see that, and then they're gonna go like, well, how come I can't have those things?
Speaker 2:right. How come like I'm working.
Speaker 1:They think they're working just as hard or whatever. They don't really know all the things that you're doing.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And that is part of the reason why I really can't be on social media that often.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't.
Speaker 1:I have a really hard time scrolling on social media, particularly Instagram, and the last few years I just have not really done it that much, and so that's also why I don't post a lot on Instagram. I feel like I've been posting more on my stories lately, but, um, I don't know. I just even when it's people that I know and people I like, and it's not like just I'm not like following celebrities or like people who have these lifestyles that are so far fetched in my mind, my mind, from like where I'm at, it's like even just people that you know and you're friends with and I'll see stuff, and you just it's like this little subconscious voice that's saying something to you that you don't really realize it, until you start feeling shitty the more you scroll and the more you look at things and you think that you're on there for whatever reason it's not productive, but entertainment purposes at least and then you, you get off and you go why now, 30 minutes after I was scrolling, like why do I kind of feel?
Speaker 1:like I feel a little shitty? Yeah at least for me, and that's why and I start to realize like it's because it's like I'm kind of comparing myself in a way and I definitely used to do that with other photographers.
Speaker 1:In the very beginning of my business I I realized very quickly I could not be looking at what other photographers were doing, because I would compare what they're doing with what I'm doing, and it's so easy to look at, you know, compare your day one with someone's day 1000, and not really realize that they're so far into their journey or what they've been through or what they're doing, and you're like oh, you know how come I'm not that successful. Right, right, right, right, right. And um, I also had a hard time too with you know, there's this whole thing when people get so upset when someone copies them, you so, oh my god, they copied. I said it on the last thing you're no one's reinventing a wheel.
Speaker 2:you're not doing anything at this point. We're all doing the same thing in a different way, but it's always like the same concept kind of thing. It's never anything so revolutionary at this point, no, besides like AI.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:Like no one is really making up new things. Yeah, people have been doing these things for years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I don't know I would go and I wouldn't. It wasn't like I was upset people were copying me. It was no yeah, I didn't want to see other things that people were doing. And then you, you know, you feel inspired by things and it kind of like maybe later down the line you don't realize it kind of like it just infiltrates your thought process when you're putting things together.
Speaker 1:And then maybe you did something that is kind of copying a little bit of what they did subconsciously yeah, and you just like don't even realize it, and it's not like you're copying word for word what they said or their concept or whatever. But I was like you know what I don't even want to know. I just was so focused on my own business I'm like I'm gonna just put my blinders on, I'm not gonna worry about anything, because I would run my numbers, set my pricing, feel really confident about what I was charging, etc. Etc. And then go on Instagram and I would see someone running some promo or and then I'm like, oh god, like you start like, oh god, well, am I charging too much now because they are running this thing?
Speaker 1:And then and you start to just you, it's a it just snowballs, and I couldn't do that anymore, and so I was like you know, I'm just gonna make the decision to not follow other photographers on Instagram. I would say the last few years that's changed. I follow people. That I know, yeah, and I also obviously followed, like a lot of my coaching clients that are photographers, obviously like follow them. Um, and I'm just like in a different head space now than I was, you know, 13 years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, for me, I find it. Some things, whatever I'm following I, I find it inspirational and motivational for me, like, yeah, I mean there are a lot of things that I want and stuff, and so then I see someone's got it and then I'm like, damn, I got to work harder to get that. Yeah, and that's probably not healthy, but I mean it works for me. I do a lot of unhealthy things, um, so like I just think, like, oh, you know, and I, I also like, not that you don't want to do this, but I also like to show the support and be like, oh my god, that's so great. Or like you know, I like to buy from businesses. I, like you know.
Speaker 2:so it also feeds into my shopping addiction a little bit yeah, following all these like instagram ads get you every time oh my god and I mean even pinterest, like they have all these things and I click on it goes oh my god, this is so cool. And then it just sends me to their site to buy it, buy it, and I'm just like great, now I have to buy it?
Speaker 1:yeah, you have to, I know. Yeah, it's tough trying to get me I know it's really hard and you know we have talked, we touched a couple times on a couple of past episodes about um imposter syndrome and I think that comes from comparing yourself to other people yeah and you start to second guess your own skill set, your own whatever experience, what you bring to the table, unfortunately, and that takes a toll on your confidence, whether that's as a business owner or just a person in life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so it can get a little sticky yeah, yeah, and I think that that's where you kind of have to like just be in your moment and kind of live in that and be like kind kind of. You got to try while you are, maybe, if you're trying to get ahead, or you are like comparing, like appreciate the things that you have and like, yeah, maybe right now you can only afford a three day vacation to this place, and then your goal later is to do a seven day vacation, but like live in those three moments as if I mean those three days, as if you had seven days. Yeah, like do that, you know, and so I I think that's hard for people, though. They just keep like I gotta get there, I gotta get it there, I gotta get there, and never can like enjoy the journey along the way well, and there's you.
Speaker 1:You know, like the whole concept, like trying to keep up with the joneses type of thing, I mean that's tough, especially like we live in a small town.
Speaker 2:Everyone's comparing, everyone sees everyone's things and everyone thinks that you know, someone else is like got the better car is cooler, is this and that. So everyone's trying to do that. But maybe we would all just be friends if we could all just be real about everything. Like I think that too, like I think I'm like yeah, I mean, I can't afford that shit. Like I'm very open about like how much money I make, or like you know what my side business brings in, or like anything like that, or like what I do. But sometimes I feel like which people should be able to do this? But when people are a little bit more open, we all have more of an understanding and then we're all a little bit more comfortable with each other, instead of comparing and like oh yeah big, like kind of like talking shit about each other.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know yeah, okay, so there's this concept I heard about on another podcast and I thought it was super interesting. Okay, so you know how we you'll go on vacation or you'll do these experiences and everyone's got to post it. You got to post it on Instagram. You have to like get the photo. You have to make the reel. You have to like it's like this if it, if it wasn't posted on instagram, like did it even happen? Kind? Of concept do it for the gram, do it for the gram.
Speaker 1:So I was listening to the podcast called we can do hard things which is one of my favorite podcasts and I feel really bad right now because I can't remember the author's name who talked about this concept. So, okay, we'll look it up and we'll put her in the show notes. Um, so she was on their podcast and she was discussing the idea of of that of people putting things on social media and they kind of like. So her the concept she was discussing.
Speaker 1:So she's a black author and she was saying she feels like that's very much a white person thing or a um, because you post these things, or you claim to have do these things, because you want to own it. It's like you want to have ownership over, like it's almost like you're collecting, like you're collecting these, like trading cards to show, like these are the places I've been and these are the things that I have done. What have you done? Kind of a thing. And so the way that she talked about it which I'm obviously like butchering the whole thing, so you'll have to, we'll have to like link the episodes.
Speaker 1:You can listen to how she talks about it it was such an interesting concept to me. I was like I never, I never would have think, like thought of it that way. And she was like as a society, it becomes this whole thing where, like it's like you got to show your cards and be like this is the life I'm living and I have to shout it from the rooftops and prove to everyone I'm doing all this cool stuff, or else it, or else I'm not really doing cool stuff. Um, and prove to people that I'm like worthy of whatever, like showing up in their feed or being their friend.
Speaker 1:And she thought of it like why do you have to like prove those things, or why do you have to be like I'm collecting all these things, I'm like I own all this stuff that I have to show to you, and um, she was just talking about like, even people having these.
Speaker 1:Like I want to like visit all 50 states and then they have to show to you. And um, she was just talking about like, even people having these, like I want to like visit all 50 states and then they have to. I don't know, it was just again. I wish I had better wording to to to you know, describe it the way that she did. It was really an interesting concept. So I'll definitely put it in our show notes so people can go back and listen to that. But I thought it was like wow, I like I said never would have thought about it like that, but it is true, it's like, are you even doing these things because it's truly what you want to do, or are you doing it for other people or to prove something to other people?
Speaker 2:so it's funny that you're saying like this is, oh, I would never speak on what you know, a different culture or black person feels or whatever. But I listened to this TikTok and this lady was saying, like back in the day, when you know there was like slaves and stuff that that black people is like, if you weren't documented, you didn't exist. Yes, and so that's the whole concept, and so I kind of that clicked for me one day, and especially, I think, because I am a photographer and so documenting is something that I do. I think of it, not in a form like I'm putting stuff out there. It's I'm documenting my life for me and for, like my kids to ever go back into my Instagram if I ever died, if like that. That's the way that I think about it for myself, one of the reasons why Tamia and I started the hey Tam, it's Tam. We only do it for ourselves. We're literally talking to ourselves, because I want to go back in 10 years and see her grow and see me change and see you know, and that's for us. So, while I do think it's really hard with social media, cause you just don't know anyone's intentions, and I think that that's where we all get this like kind of jealousy, kind of comparing this imposter syndrome. I, I, I hope that most of us are just documenting our lives, like I'm just doing it for myself.
Speaker 2:You know, I went on a vacation I just came back last night and I actually was taking videos and photos, but not as much as I typically did do and I felt like every time I said like, oh, I should take more videos and I go, you know what, but I'm really enjoying myself and I'm being like really in the moment here and for this vacation, and I felt like I didn't necessarily feel it was better. You know that I was doing it that way or it's like better when I was in Japan documenting all this stuff. I think that there are times when we need that more than other times. Right, like I was on this like vacation that was just like a tropical vacation, super relaxing. So I think that my feed and how much I documented and put on shows that I don't really post much, you know. But like when you're in this big city and you're doing this hustle bustle, you're just also doing these and taking these videos and doing all these things, you know, and you're posting it and you want to see it.
Speaker 1:I mean, a lot of times I feel like I like to go look back at my stories and my reels and, like my posts, you know, I like to dig back in there, and so I think that it's hard to know what people's intentions are when they're posting, just so funny you say that, because so one thing I always would kind of like be hard on myself about so whenever I go visit my family, like after I would visit my family, I'd be like God, I didn't take any photos, because I'd be like, okay, this time I need to take like just photos on my phone, like nothing serious, but just photos of stuff we're doing or whatever. And I'm like because I know I'm the you know, the photographer of of the family, so it's like I should be the one who's like making sure we have photos yeah shit.
Speaker 1:But I think it's because when I am with my family, I'm so uh, so conscious to like. I'm not like doing work stuff while I'm spending time with them and I'm not like on my phone not doing like social media stuff. I'm not swiping on dating apps like when we're at dinner or we're doing all these things.
Speaker 1:I'm like really in the moment and so I feel like for a while I was so hard on myself. I'm like God, I just like never take photos of my own family. And now I think of it like, well, I think when I don't remember, it is because I'm really just, I am just in the moment and so am just in the moment and so I I feel like not so hard on myself about it anymore. But yeah, I mean, I think you're right, there are there are times when you document things just because of the type of situation that you're in, and other times it's not necessary and I do think that you know those girls that document everything.
Speaker 2:I sometimes I am jealous that they are so brave, just to be like out there influencing in the wild, yeah, and just like it's almost like they don't give a shit, they're out there like if people are watching, yeah, or like they just ask their husband, like right now, like we went on this date and right after I have to spend 20 minutes documenting you, you know like that, like you know.
Speaker 2:you know more power to you. If that's what you want to put out on your social media and you want to interrupt, interrupt your life that much to do that, because that's what you want, then do it. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1:As long as it it's, I always come back to like. As long as it's making you happy, yeah. But if you feel obligated or you feel stressed about it, then don't.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think that that's the part with influencers or people that have like these micro influencers or people that just have a lot of following. It's like the pressures on them is tough to just put so much out and they just you know, Especially if they are making income from that, yeah yeah okay, well, the I've.
Speaker 1:Now I've gotten myself into this position where it's really cool that I can make money from just living my life, but now, like you said, I'm like interrupting my life in order to continue to make money and stuff like that which which is, I mean, here's the thing there's a fine line, right, because if that's how you're making your money, full time especially, then it's just like you're going to the job.
Speaker 2:So then just parts of your life are interrupted Cause you got to do your job a little bit, right. But when it's like so much pressure on you where it's not good for you and it's like it's like it's too much.
Speaker 1:Get a, get a regular job then, yeah, yeah or that's your trade, you know.
Speaker 2:You know that that you're unhealthy because you make all this money and you do that, which that's kind of, I feel, like what we do not. Like we have hella money, but like we will do unhealthy habits to make more money right yeah, and I think too I'm willing to work more.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's two parts to I mean number one I really enjoy working. And so to me, when I am working like if I am working when I'm on vacation or I'm whatever like I don't feel stressed about it. I'm like I yes, of course, like sometimes work can be stressful, but I feel like I just really like to work, and so to me it seems fun, like oh, I'm gonna sit here and work on my marketing or something and, like, I really like to do that, and so I am happy I'm not feeling obligated or whatever yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, the second part of it is like I literally just forgot what the second part was.
Speaker 2:Christina's laughing at her. Damn it.
Speaker 1:What was I going to say? I don't know. Sorry, oh cause we're saying like unhealthy, like it becomes unhealthy, oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah. So I was going to say yeah, I don't know, sorry, oh, because we're saying like unhealthy, like it becomes unhealthy, oh okay, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I was gonna say, yeah, I don't feel obligated, whatever, because I enjoy it. But also I think, because I think to myself right now, like at my age and and currently now, just because I'm single and stuff like that, I'm like I can afford to work a lot more than I would like. Let's say, if I were married and I wanted to have a healthy marriage or healthy relationship or whatever, and I needed to have more boundaries with work. I I would prefer to put in a lot more work now and hustle a lot harder in these years in order to set myself and my son up for a better future, and so I'm willing to do that right now and like I would rather do that instead of because I don't. I mean, at the same time, I don't feel like I have no social life, like I used to be a complete workaholic and have no social life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you were, but I definitely have a lot of balance now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you were minimalizing your social life, not, I mean I was maximizing my work to 100% yeah, but yeah, I don't feel like now I feel like I do enough like social stuff and I feel like I do all these other things in my life, that I feel like I have enough balance. But I'm so more than okay with being work heavy in my life right now in order to set myself up for later, and I don't feel like it's taking away from anything right now.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it just kind of depends. It's again like when you're comparing yourself to other people or you're seeing what they have, or whatever. You just have to realize and understand, like like, what people are sacrificing in order to have those things and you have to ask yourself if that's what you're willing to do or want to do and right, have those things right right so yeah, like, are you willing to show your whole vagina on all these fans?
Speaker 2:I am your g-wagon, I am or not I am. But the problem is, you know, and this is what drew drew is when we're talking. He's talking to me about this is it's not a guarantee and I go. I know if I could guarantee popping my pussy on there would get it for me, I would. I would do it, but he was like what you? What have you in the beginning? You're just making twenty dollars showing your dollars for that. Yeah, you're showing the whole puss for 20 dollars.
Speaker 2:No, I'll show like a little part, just a little part of it just little puzzle pieces of your puss, and then they get put together, you have to pay for each piece.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I talked about like we would make the only fans of like us having sex, right, that makes more sense. And he was like, well, you can't show my face. And I'm like, yeah, it would just be like your body and then me, okay, so this is one of the conversations we had too. And then we were like, well, you know, do you feel weird if your friends watched it, or whatever, and I was like it would be weird if my friends watched it.
Speaker 1:I would judge my friends yeah, if they watched it right. That's what I think. That's what I would think.
Speaker 2:You're the weird one and then my brother-in-law was like no, like they want to like make fun of you or they want to do this, and I'm like that's weird you're. I was like so what?
Speaker 2:you're gonna watch your brother fuck your sister-in-law. And he was like yeah, I think your friends and stuff are gonna try to watch. I go no, they're not. No, they're not. I'm gonna put it on record. But then you know what Drew said he goes, christina's gonna watch it and she's not gonna tell Tony oh shit, I'm gonna say I'll put on record right now.
Speaker 1:If you and Drew come out with the only fans, I'm not watching it yeah, you know what I would do.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'll subscribe for $20 to help you out. I'll subscribe and pay. Yeah, I'm not watching.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's just me, it's just you, yeah, yeah, it's weird if it's you and Drew.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. Like, your friends are never going to see it because your friends are weird as fuck if they're watching you have sex, okay, and I mean, I think that watching it as a friend or a family member, not the family member. Is weirder than actually putting it out there oh for sure I think, but I mean, maybe other people think differently.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so funny. I don't think. You know I have thought a lot about OnlyFans in the past. I don't know I have zero. It's weird because it's like I have. Like we were saying, I don't feel like it's weird because it's like I have. Like we were saying, I don't feel like it's wrong yeah, at all like, and you know people will fight us on that whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they will, um go fuck yourself. So I don't think it's wrong whatsoever, for people have only fans. I think it's perfectly fine to make money doing that more power to you, whatever. So I don't judge people whatsoever for that. I also don't feel weird, like if I think about myself having one the questions you were asking like do I care if people saw that and knew it was me? I really don't give a fuck about any of that. No, and I mean I think we mentioned this in a previous episode too where, like I also know, because I'm self-employed and I know I will never, ever again work for someone else or be applying to jobs or what I can I can say that 100% confidently. I'm not worried about it coming back to bite me in the ass.
Speaker 2:Work wise in that way yeah, are there corporate jobs? I mean, besides being like a CEO or CFO, or are there like if, if you just want to be like I don't know Secretary? Yeah, are they like you can't be on? Oh, is there? Yeah.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent and I think even if you're um, you know you apply and you want to interview and stuff and you know they're looking you up on all these places on you online because, they don't want that to come back in any negative way I guess, yeah, business, you know which makes sense? I didn't think about that, but you know to all my employees if you guys want to have only fans, I'm gonna do it at the studio.
Speaker 2:For it, yeah, use the set, use the sets let me know. Yeah, I just gotta wash them because there might be like come on them after, oh boy yeah, you just have.
Speaker 1:You just have to bring your own bedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, drew and I just bringing our luggage up with our bed Bring your own fucking bedding.
Speaker 2:But I'm going to use the lights and everything. Yeah, do it. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to do it because I need a G wagon. You will not.
Speaker 1:You will not be reprimanded for work at pink door photo studio. Yeah, I'll be like damn girl get it good, because I can't pay you that much money.
Speaker 2:So yeah, you just need a little extra boost yeah, yeah, that's what I think, like these little side hustles that people do, as long as they're not taking up all your time and like your livelihood and stuff you just need a little extra boost, to like a little boost.
Speaker 2:Those are for your vacations or those are because you want to drink some expensive wine, you know, and like that's what I think about all the time. Like you don't have to make the side business, yours doesn't have to make a hundred thousand dollars. No, what if it gives you an extra 30? You don't want a thirty thousand dollar raise every year. That's crazy, I do. Yeah, come on. You don't want a 50. You don't want a twenty thousand dollar raise a year, like you know something that can get you an extra like 500 bucks a week or yeah 500 a month, like that could be your car where yeah, whatever it's like that doesn't have to go towards something, or it does.
Speaker 2:Or you're like oh, you know, this extra thousand would make me feel a little less stressed about paying my bills, or whatever it is Like. That's why I just like and I understand people don't have time for it, but if you could find something where you could do an hour or two on the weekends, that gets you a little extra whatever that is. Yeah, you make charcuterie boards. I mean that's kind of expensive to start, but you know clean houses do whatever make the walmart cakes.
Speaker 2:Do whatever the heart cakes. Yeah, do whatever you want, yeah find a little hustle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you gotta just get out there and not worry about it, like not worry about what people think about it yeah, yes, like I right, I don't care.
Speaker 2:I don't care that people I think people do sometimes judge drew and I that we have this like little side job and that really yeah, yeah. They're like oh, you want to do that, you just want to work on saturdays, you know or they, do you think it's because like?
Speaker 1:do you think that people think like oh, you must not be making a? Lot, yes, you must not be making good money. If you have to do that, they do this oh, is this your full-time job?
Speaker 2:not that there's anything wrong with it, because if this was my full-time job, I'd be making pretty fucking good money. If I could have clients like all the time like this, you know, um, so they'll ask us stuff like that, you know, like we're not making money, like why are we doing these things? Especially when we would go to the markets like we're just like and I'm like, you can say whatever you want, but this is like paying for all my vacations that's literally your guys is like all your fun money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have extra fun money and we're talking tens of thousands of dollars a year. Yeah, dozens of thousands. How do you say that? I don't know?
Speaker 2:thousands, yeah, under a hundred thousand, but more than zero dollars, yeah, and so it's a lot of money that you guys are making, yeah, from working fucking saturdays and I, I mean I think I'm gonna try to maximize it now that I have like more time, but that's working two, two to three, two to four hours on saturdays. Yeah, I mean, during the week I do have to like respond to people and stuff like that, but that's just still on my own. Yeah, but physically going to a place for four hours on Saturdays is making us at the least fifty thousand dollars extra a year. Yep.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna start charging you rent, I know, since you do it at the studio, perfect. But yeah, I mean that's what I'm saying, like that's gonna be my fun money, it's been.
Speaker 2:She's trying to get extra 500. Oh really okay okay, but that's what I'm saying. Like people don't understand that. Like you could make this. I think people don't know. This is what people don't tell you is like you having you could just do this on your own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, there's startup costs obviously yeah but I mean, you could party plan, you could do so many things and you don't do some alterations, yeah you don't have to be the tippity top level, no, no, you could be low to medium and make that extra twelve hundred dollars a month yeah and and be like, oh, this pays my whole rent, so I have extra money. Yeah, for sure, why not? You know? Yeah, you just gotta find your thing. Yeah, I think that's huge you know I agree.
Speaker 1:Well, um, I don't know what I would like if I had to come up with a little side hustle outside of, if it couldn't be photography related and it couldn't be related to coaching.
Speaker 2:I know, because I was saying you do your coaching yeah.
Speaker 1:I just do my coaching, but like if it couldn't be those, if I was like in another world and I had to come up with yeah, I don't know what you'd do. Because you know those are my two skills. Can you make some?
Speaker 2:spreadsheets. Can you do spreadsheets for people? Fuck yeah, I can yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll make some spreadsheets. I'll just do hella calculations on whatever you want. You know what you could probably do like.
Speaker 2:Canva budget spreadsheets, because you could design them to make them kind of cute. Yeah, yeah, I think you could do that. So it's like digital and then you just be at home doing digital shit. You know, I told my brother-in-law on this vacation I wish that I could just like my husband makes millions and I could just stay at home and be like a craft mom. So it's like, but you don't have to make money off of anything, right? Like this week I want to make heart cakes Cool, I made a couple heart cakes for my friends. And then a couple weeks, like, I want to make everything bags for my friends. And then the next week I'm making, like these beanies for my friends, whatever it is. And that's what I want to stay at home and do and where you don't have to worry about profiting off any of that stuff.
Speaker 1:I was going to say did you see that TikTok and the guy? It was like a guy, which actually it was funny. He's a photographer, okay and so and it said this is me, he's like I'm working extra hard so my future wife can own a coffee shop.
Speaker 2:Slash flower shop, slash book shop, whatever that loses $30,000 a month. That's what I need Drew to provide for me, but he just he thinks things should be a little bit more equal.
Speaker 1:It's just so interesting with the way that your relationship is.
Speaker 2:It's so interesting with your guys's gender roles. I told him I go, I have to do everything for you and he goes. He looks at me, he goes oh, do you? Oh, yeah, do you do everything for me? I go, I do so much. And I'm joking because I know that he does everything. Yeah, yeah, poor, yeah, poor guy. That's so funny. He's so nice to me. I don't know why, I don't know. I wonder he got hit on at. He gets hit on all the time. He has no idea. Oh, of course. So he doesn't wear a wedding ring, it's on my finger. Oh, I hate that Right here, why it got too small and we just haven't gotten a new one.
Speaker 2:Like if he would put it on, his fingers would swell and then he would try to put it back on, and then it was just too tight and then so like I'd say I mean it might even almost be close to a year. So then I put on my finger so we wouldn't lose it. I was like I'll just wear it so we wouldn't lose it, and then he kept trying to put it back on. Can you fucking get?
Speaker 1:a new one. What are you guys doing? And I'm like I don't care.
Speaker 2:I think it's cute if people hit on him. Yeah, I think it's so cute. And so we were at the restaurant in Mexico and this girl he's sitting down, he's vaping, and then Jared's like next to him or whatever, and this girl comes up to him and she goes do I know you, are you? Are you famous? She goes are you famous? Do I know you? Yeah, you just look so familiar. This is what she said, you know. So we're in, we're in Mexico, in a small town, and you know what? Jarrett, without like a beat, he goes, he is, but we're not doing photos tonight. Oh my god, so quick, just like that, like that, that is so fucking cool.
Speaker 2:And so Drew goes no, I'm not or whatever, and she was like you, just look so familiar. Blah, blah, blah. So we come in, he comes in, he tells us this right, and he was like, yeah, this girl like this. And I go, you know she's hitting on you. And he goes no, she's not. She really thought she knew me. And I go you think that she knows a black guy? That is, that's your height, your build, with a grayish beard, that's bald, that looks just like you. You think that?
Speaker 1:Here in Mexico, in this little town, and you think that there's celebrities?
Speaker 2:that there's no celebrities that look like you, drew, like there's not a lot of like black celebrities that are bald, with this gray kind of beard no, come on, yeah, she fucking around she was, she was trying to hit and he was like and then so later I was talking to him and he was like you know, I couldn't even talk to a girl, I wouldn't even know that she's hitting on me. Yeah, and I go that one was so obvious, babe, right, but girls hit on, I see it, and he's like yeah that's how I know and also he plays pokemon on his phone all the time.
Speaker 2:That boy isn't leaving me. He doesn't need a wedding room because he literally has pokemon. Go wherever he goes. Shut the. He doesn't mean. That's his fucking wedding ring oh my god, he's been paying playing it for 10 years when he started playing with brit, when brit was young and he just hasn't let it go, so I'm not not worried about him.
Speaker 1:Well, I have to say, as a single gal, it is so irritating to me when married men don't wear fucking rings. Yeah, because then we look like idiots and we go up to people and we go do you need a nice from somewhere?
Speaker 2:That was the worst line. I would never say that. But Are you a celebrity? I mean the fact that Jared, mean the fact that you're a celebrity and the fact that Jared said that I was like oh, that's good, I'm not doing photos today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like that's good, that's good, I love it, that is so yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean yeah. I mean I don't know I should get him a wedding ring. We've been talking about it like okay, what are we gonna get, or whatever we just haven't done it.
Speaker 1:Hate that, yeah. Well, I think even if you have a girlfriend, you need to wear a ring, because it's also fucking annoying when you go up to someone, you try and talk to them and they're like oh, I'm your own friend.
Speaker 2:And you're like yeah, like maybe the ring should be on a different finger, this one don't talk to me, it's a middle finger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that would be good. Don't fucking talk to me because I'm not single. That's what it says.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but still girls probably would not wear them too. Yeah, because I mean you need to get free drinks.
Speaker 1:That's true, yeah. So it's like you know, I don't know, I don't do the free drink deal. I don't subscribe to that. I like it. I don't subscribe to that. I like it. I don't like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1:Don't pay for stuff for me.
Speaker 2:You want to talk to me for a little bit, I'll let you buy me some drinks. Fuck, no, yeah.
Speaker 1:No, even if I go on a date like if I go on a first date with someone that I met on an app if I know that I don't used to let them pay yeah absolutely not. I'm like that's so fucked up yeah I'm not here for just like a free meal. Don't buy me drinks, don't?
Speaker 2:I just feel so weird about that yeah, I mean, you know, I believe in gender roles, so I think that you should have to pay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't yeah I don't think so. I don't think that they should have to pay I don't think they should have to pay. I think they should want to pay well, I would like for them to want to, but I don't want them to actually.
Speaker 2:No, I don't think that when I hear stories about guys like, oh, this girl, she wasn't even paying attention to me and she bought, like this large meal. I think that if we go out for a drink and it's 10 bucks and it's, I am being like genuine, like talking to you and like maybe we don't know if it's going to be good or not, I I just think that it's nice if you offer. I'm willing to pay for my own drinks, but I think you should offer and I can decide then whether I want to want you to like pay or not pay, but I think it's nice to offer. If I was a boy, I would always offer and I expect my son to offer. I would expect both my brothers to offer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it yeah, I don't like it yeah. I don't know, but I also just feel like I just don't. Yeah, I don't want you to have nothing on me.
Speaker 1:I don't want that ten dollar drink. I'm not gonna owe you shit. I don't want you to think anything of it and I don't want you to have nothing on me. I don't want that $10 drink. I'm not going to owe you shit. I don't want you to think anything of it and I don't. And it's like not only that, but I don't want, I never want the person I go on a date with to think, ever think, that I'm taking advantage of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or that I expect that, or whatever. But on the other, hand.
Speaker 2:Then you go the rest of your relationship fucking splitting everything. I was just gonna say kill myself. I think that is a pre like precursor to how the relationship's gonna go right, I expect you to pay for.
Speaker 2:Like just for me, like I mean, here's the thing I can pay for my own bills, blah, blah, I get that, but for me I do think that you should make enough money to be able to pay for my bills. It's just, and I think that just for myself and just kind of my own belief system is like I think that you should pay my bills, I don't know. That doesn't mean that like I shouldn't be buying all the groceries and buying your clothes and all that stuff. I mean, that's the thing too. It's not that like you pay all the bills and I just fuck off all the money. It's like, yeah, I'm going to buy clothes, probably, I'll probably buy stuff for the kids, uh, like it's still like all in one, but I just need you to make enough money to pay for our bills so I believe, and in my ideal world it would be percentage based.
Speaker 1:I want to do the math here of course okay. I want to know, like I think, if I'm making so let's say if I start dating someone and if they make 50 more money than I do, then I think it's fair that they pay 50% more of the shared expenses and bills and so on.
Speaker 1:I think that that's a fair way to do it. I don't believe it should ever be put on the guy because of gender roles and I don't think it should be always 50-50. I think it's just whoever. If I make 50% more money than the person I'm dating, sure I'm willing to, to like split our bills or whatever where I'm paying 50 more because you're a broke bitch.
Speaker 2:so yeah, I think it's situational and I think I just would never be in that position like, for example, if I, if I'm making $150,000, I don't think that my lifestyle and what I would be okay with for myself, that I would be with someone that would make $50,000. It just that just isn't. Well, that's me either. I mean me either. So I mean, I think those are the situations that I'm talking about. If we're making the same amount of money, I guess things can be talked about, but I, yeah, so like that's kind of the weird fine line for me you can't even pay my bills.
Speaker 2:Like you wouldn't even be able to not say you need to pay my bills, but you wouldn't even be able to afford to pay my bills is a you couldn't even offer right, which would be kind of a problem and that is such like a dick thing to say, because maybe, like we talk about in our family, our daughters dating men, and we always say the first thing needs to be kindness, like that's the quality that they need to have is kindness, and I I subscribe to that.
Speaker 2:Kindness is king, yeah, okay, because you can have all the money and treat someone like shit and that's who can live in that Right.
Speaker 2:The second thing for me is, like, the quality of life that you want to have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if we're both we've talked about this if we're both making 50,000, and then that's where we want to be and we're very happy within that and we do whatever we want, that's fine. But I can't make three times the amount of money because there is going to be problems that are going to occur with that. There is going to be problems on, like you, feeling inadequate, that I maybe I mean I, I just foresee these things Maybe that doesn't happen, that you have a problem that I have this money and then the way I spend, or that we go on vacations and I have a standard and you can't afford that standard. So you feel bad about this, like I. I don't want to have those things pop up. Relationships are hard enough, and so I think for myself, I would just be like we have to make the same, or you have to make more than me so I agree totally with what you just said, because I but I think it's because of men they they do have this like protector type of mindset typically top leader.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they feel this obligation to like provide and stuff like that, whether or not that is something that you allow them to do or whatever in your relationship is different, but like I think, uh, I mean it goes back to caveman, the freaking caveman yeah, and so it's like it makes sense that they would feel some type of way about, yeah, not being able to um afford it and yeah, feeling some type of way about it so I do think it's different.
Speaker 1:We're talking about, like, if we're making a lot more money than them, than it is if, like, a guy's making a lot more money than you are. So I do, I agree too, because I feel like once you make a certain amount of money, you do you expect a certain lifestyle, and then I think clearly, well, to me, I think this also If you are at a certain income level that is vastly different from your partners, it may also not necessarily always, but it may also be a sign of your personality, um, your individual, like ability to be proactive you're ambitious, are you ambitious, are you?
Speaker 1:I agree with that too, that's not because that is something that's attractive to me in a guy that is that way. I am not attracted to men that are just content with like bare minimum lifestyle, I don't know. So that doesn't really work for me. So I agree, like I do, I would prefer to date or be with someone who's making around the same amount of money as I am, or preferably more, but I don't think I could necessarily have a carry on a long-term relationship with someone making significantly less money than me, and it's also because they feel I have had that before and I feel like they feel emasculated by that. And it puts me in a weird position too. Where then, as a woman, do you become the provider? And it's like this weird thing where I don't know. It's a weird tension and vibe.
Speaker 2:Because I understand what you're saying. Like when's one person like so, say he pays your bills, then does he get to say, on how you get to live your life Right, so like I get that. And then does that happen vice versa, with the women do like you, then go all right, you know, it's just like. Is there ever a thought about like to be able to tell someone to like how they can, what they could do and how they can do it, and so that becomes so weird in relationships. I never, never, you know, like Drew and I like while he makes more money than me, even if I made more money than him at this point in our relationship, I mean nothing would change for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think it's different.
Speaker 2:I mean, you guys have been together for 25 years, so we've been together because we were together when we were younger, we didn't have money, so it was always pulled together and then he just made more money and I didn't. And it's not such a significant amount too. Yeah Right, like when I think about like yeah, drew's paying my bills, I mean really we're both paying the bills.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, but Drew's money, if I lost my job could cover all of our bills and our life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Could sustain it for a little bit, not forever Like I need to work.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, If I lost my job, that wouldn't be like. It wouldn't be okay, I'd need to go out. It wouldn't be like oh, you're going to stay at home.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it wouldn't be that situation. Yeah, but I need someone. I think in those situations I lost my job that they could actually cover all the bills, and it's not like you're covering my bills, I don't have a separate house. Yeah, Right, and what I'm saying is, like you can cover our mortgage Right, which should be the same thing. Vice versa, too.
Speaker 1:If I mean unless you're a stay at home mom.
Speaker 2:I guess these things are different and if you're in a millionaire's situation, these are different, but on these average mid-level, like most of us, when we're talking about this peasants yeah, I'm talking about I should, my job should be able to cover us yeah, it can't be that you, you know it only falls on you, even though I want him to be a millionaire and take care of me so I can just stay at home and do my crap.
Speaker 1:It'd be great, I mean, I think, for at this point, moving forward relationship wise, I'm like, look, I have dated for personality. I have dated and married people for we had similar goals and life. You know ambitions and all these things that I thought were at this point I go. You know, husband number three, you better be rich.
Speaker 2:Well because I always thought that if you are going to find a partner, they need to maximize your life too. They need to be able just to come in to this equation of mine and make everything better, as I can do for them as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't drag me down.
Speaker 2:I'm, I would be damned if something happened to you or whatever and I had to go with, get with someone that's starting over. That's like going to school, oh my god. Well, I'm too old for that, like at this point, right, right, right, I mean I'm too old to I couldn't date that much younger, because I, you need to be well established, yeah, by this point, because I've done that, I'm already, I've already done that and I, yeah, and I think at this age by this point because I've done that, I'm not ready, I've already done that and I, yeah, and I think at this age and this point in my life too, I go, I'm not taking care of anybody else, and I think that's why I don't expect to be taken care of either, though and I that's where I'm like I don't expect anyone to pay any of my bills.
Speaker 1:I don't expect any, but I'm also not doing that shit for you right, so I'll take care, because I get it and I understand what you're saying. That like, oh, if they lose their job or whatever, I should be able to cover. But my thing is you better have your shit together enough. Yeah, you have your six months worth of expenses set aside.
Speaker 2:So we're not even having that conversation I but I think that that goes to like just I mean, you know, people do this, either you share your money or you don't, and I, I will not, right. And so I think that too, where it's like then what happens? So you share your money and you don't, and then you just have to go like okay, yeah, I mean I have enough savings to cover my side of the bills, and blah blah, and so then everything's split in half, where I just I can't.
Speaker 1:I, I mean yeah, I would be like, oh, tough shit, you better pull from savings. Go fuck yourself. You're right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It should be an option. Yeah, Because God forbid, we both lose our jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or whatever we should have but we should have some savings.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I totally get it. I mean, I totally get that. And everyone's situation. People are just like that's what they'd rather have. Since they were. You know, they've been married for 20 years and they've always just done it that way, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just such a, it's just so interesting, the whole.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's what makes the world go around, All these different people you know, different people, different opinions, different. But don't be jealous of them and don't compare yourself to them. I think that's the whole thing yeah because everyone's gonna do a different use. I know we really went off on a yeah, on a side tangent yeah, but it's okay, I like it.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, well, weigh in on any and all topics we talked about on this episode.
Speaker 1:This one went a little weird, I don't know, but I like it, I like it, yeah, I mean, I think, that's what our whole thing is about, yeah yeah, just start with something, and then we'll see where it goes yeah so let us know um what you think in regards to how do you feel about comparison and social media, kind of highlight reel of your life, and where do you guys fall in that? Um, and also if you want to weigh in on the traditional gender roles and finances yeah, relationships I'm so interesting to me.
Speaker 2:I would love to or if you do it differently, like usually, it's just like you share your money or you don't. You know, maybe there's a different way. We don't know it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, tell us on our instagram at maximalist life podcast and we'll see you guys next time. Hope you're having fun. Pits up.
Speaker 2:Dicks out.