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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 22 - Swingers, Sex Clubs, and Dating
Episode Summary:
Brianna and Tamika are back from vacation and diving into everything—from sun-soaked getaways to dating drama that’ll make you gasp, laugh, and maybe text your therapist. Their trips couldn’t have been more different, and their love lives? Buckle up. It’s a ride.
Here’s what’s going down in this episode:
✨ Tamika spills all the tea on her surprise 40th birthday trip to Scottsdale—think fancy resorts, wild jeep tours, and dancing like nobody’s 40
🌺 Brianna survived a chaotic Hawaii family vacay where her mom threatened to fly home on day two
👵👧 Multigenerational travel hits different when your crew ranges from 12 to 83 years old
🗂️ Brianna brings the structure with her color-coded Google Calendar, while Tamika’s out here vibing and letting the universe decide
💋 Brianna’s “Mr. Monday” might be turning into something more... especially after some very open conversations about visiting sex clubs
😳 Brianna went on a date with a couple who casually asked about her “drug use levels” over appetizers (???!!)
🕵️♀️ Brianna opens up about the mysterious bald man who ghosted her right before her Hawaii trip—justice for her!
📲 The unsend button: a blessing, a curse, and why we’ve all been there with that “pls ignore” message
💅 Both ladies reflect on the non-negotiables in their dating lives—yes, even when the pickings are slim
If you’ve ever needed a laugh, a vent, and a reminder that you are not alone in the chaos, this episode is it.
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Welcome to Bexplos Live. I'm Brianna. I don't want to say my name, say it, and I'm Tamika. And Wouldn't it be annoying if we just talk like that the whole time?
Speaker 2:Mmm, yeah, that would be really annoying. Yeah, people would probably think it's annoying how we just talked like that the whole time. Yeah, that would be really annoying. Yeah, People would probably think it's annoying how we talk anyway.
Speaker 1:So yeah, they're probably like she has vocal fry or she has this. So you know I'm like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2:Sorry, don't listen, don't listen.
Speaker 1:Also, I sound really stuffy because my allergies are off the hook, Are they? Oh, no, yeah, are off the hook, are they?
Speaker 2:Oh no, yeah, bentley has them too. I never had that, so. I couldn't relate. Yeah, Sorry about that.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I can't breathe.
Speaker 2:What else Wait you what? You just came back from your trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you didn't know your trip. I went on a surprise trip.
Speaker 2:Surprise, I'm turning 40 next week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and my friend I mean my best friend, whatever. No, she's not. You're the type that they get mad when someone else is yeah.
Speaker 2:Who the fuck is that yeah?
Speaker 1:She took me on a surprise trip.
Speaker 2:Oh, didn't she.
Speaker 1:Yes, she did that when I was 32. 30 also, not 32.
Speaker 2:I was like 32.
Speaker 1:So she took me to Scotottsdale. That's fun, yeah. We stayed a really nice resort, um, and then we went on like a jeep tour and we went and did like massages and like hung out. I had never been to scottsdale before I've never been there yeah, yeah, you know, when she was doing her like research on it, she was like asking people like is it country?
Speaker 1:No you know, that's like. That's not really her style either. It's not really country or anything. You know, yeah, and she just wanted to make sure To country. Yeah, it is Western because it's desert. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So I would say it's more Western, not so like Nashville no, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, a lot of turquoise stuff like that shops, you know um, and we did go to this like kind of like fun divy bar where there was like a band. But man, you know, drunk people really just have no swell self like awareness no yeah so like there was people in there that were just like off the hook.
Speaker 1:Like you wanted to like punch them and they just like it was like tight. It was like you were in like the pit of like a concert, that tight Like where everyone is just like up against you and so you really are like if someone hits you and, like you know, someone kind of elbows you, you get kind of mad sometimes or they just keep dancing too much into you and you're like bitch, move fucking forward a little bit, just a little bit, like you know. So I think that's funny.
Speaker 2:It was fun though yeah, but that sounds fun yeah, sounds really fun.
Speaker 1:I went to a we went to like this club one night too, uh, and so that was fun dancing and stuff. So yeah, I just love to dance girls trip.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're just dancing the night away.
Speaker 1:That is fun, yeah, and we just like slept in and hung out and went to the pool and all that kind of good stuff oh love that yeah, yeah, what a great way to ring in your 40s yeah, it was nice nice fun, uh, and you went to kawaii, I did yeah I went, I did so the trip.
Speaker 2:It's like, um, that will be my last family vacation, oh, uh, yeah, so, um, I don't again, I am not sure who listens to this podcast, so I'm just gonna leave that be. Yeah, it was, um, really pretty. We got really lucky with the weather yeah, because you said it was gonna rain all week yeah, the weather said it was gonna rain like storm the whole week and I'm like are you fucking?
Speaker 1:that's the thing about kawaii so rainy, it's so rainy at that island, on that island see, I didn't know that have you ever been to the island?
Speaker 2:I have, but I was like 15, yeah, so I didn't, I didn't know that and that we just picked that one because it's my grandpa's favorite island.
Speaker 1:It is the prettiest.
Speaker 2:So pretty. But we got really lucky. It was sunny like almost the whole time, except for one day, and then all the days it was sunny. It was, like you know, really warm, and then it would just rain a little bit, you know, for like five minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then it's not too bad, like really aggressively, yeah, then it's not too bad, like really aggressively, yeah, and then it goes away.
Speaker 2:Okay, and it was really fun. I mean, the hotel we stayed at was right on the beach so you could just like walk out of your room right into, like the water. Nice, how were the waves? Not too bad? Oh good, yeah, not that bad. That beach, specifically where our hotel was, was not necessarily like a swimming type of beach, but people were still like you put your feet in the water or whatever, like um, and then there were, like we went to a couple other beaches that were more specifically for like snorkeling and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:It was really nice and we didn't really like we didn't plan activities right the only thing we did was went to a luau because, you mean, you know, bentley has never been to Hawaii before and so it was like, okay, like let's just do like something Hawaiian. And then he did the snorkeling. He loved that. Yeah, that was pretty much it. It was mostly just to relax and like get away from work, so I tried to just spend as much time by myself as I could. Okay, on your family vacation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I kept trying to spend time by myself, but then everyone wants to spend time with you, you know, because you're on this family vacation. So I kept trying to like just get up really early and like go out to the beach, sit on the beach and I would just read. And that was so nice, it was just so relaxing.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, before like the chaos of the day would begin yeah, it is tough, I think, going on vacations with, like, older people, yeah so the age range so much like I mean, yes, of course gonna be like your mom and your grandpa and stuff, but it's like they're older, so it's like just a little. Another like layer into these vacations. Same with me, when I have to take my mom is like okay well, yeah, I mean, the age range was from 12 to 83 yeah, I mean, my son is 12.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did let him bring a friend, which I'm so glad because he was able to just like hang out with his friend the whole time. And, like the place we stayed, it had a lot of stuff like there were shops and there was like little you know like Hawaiian shaved ice places. It had a lot of stuff Like there were shops and there was like little you know like Hawaiian shaved ice places, and they could just kind of like have their freedom a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was fun. I'm glad that his friend came and his friend has been to Hawaii actually like a bunch of times, yeah, so it's good. So he kind of knew Like anytime we'd be like, oh, we're going to go to such good one. Oh, okay, mr, you know, vacation, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was cute, okay, uh, and then my mom and then my aunt, who are both like nearing 60, like 50 mid-50s to 60, and then my grandpa who's 83.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, and my mom doesn't really travel a lot and so I think for she'd never been to Hawaii and so I think for her.
Speaker 1:She's never been to Hawaii.
Speaker 2:She has. She will the trip that we went when I was a teenager and I think, as far as I know, that's the only time she's been to Hawaii, but I'm not sure. But she does not. She's not a traveler.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I sometimes think like my mom cruises a lot.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, my mom loves cruises.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so sometimes I think it's just that's just easier for them it's so easy yeah, yeah, then like everything's all in one yeah and it's like okay, they could just go do an activity and then you just be like, okay, see, when you're done with your activity instead of like planning the one day activity that we're gonna do.
Speaker 1:That's just like easier for them to like. And I've never been on a cruise. I won't do a cruise, um, and so I just let my mom do that with her friends, and then you know yeah, I, yeah, it's my mom.
Speaker 2:Uh has gone on a few cruises the last couple years and yeah, she really likes it and I definitely think, when we went on a cruise, that I went on a couple of them with her yeah that was much better yeah so um, but also I think this trip it's just, we were sharing rooms too which is a problem.
Speaker 1:So who did you have to share a room with?
Speaker 2:So me and my mom and my aunt shared a room, and my mom and my aunt don't really get along. That sounds fun. So, yeah, there was just a lot, it was just a lot. And my mom is just like how do I say this? Everything gets on her nerves, every person gets on her nerves, everything gets on her nerves. It is like nothing could ever be good. It's like you're on this, like we're on vacation, we're in Hawaii, and she'll still find something to complain about. And that's kind of tough. And my grandpa can't like just let it go. So he was like really mad at her the whole time too, and he was just like jesus christ, laura, like he was just getting so mad. I love it. So he's storming off, getting mad, and then my son's just like what's happening? Yeah, I'm like this is just our family, you know. So it is what it is yeah, but I mean that's tough yeah.
Speaker 2:so it was just a weird, like I think the group that went wasn't, but anyway we had. I mean I did have fun overall, like there. There were a couple times where I was just like how do I get out of this? You can't. How do I actually my mom, I really shouldn, how do I actually my mom, I really shouldn't say I mean my mom doesn't listen to this. But I mean there was an argument this first day we were there, uh like well, I guess second day we traveled. In the next morning there was a whole argument that my mom started, uh that like filtered into the whole family, so everybody's arguing and she called my sister because my sister wasn't there, yeah, and said she was going home. She like looked up plane tickets, was like I'm fucking leaving, can you pick me up from the airport? Like I'm not going to stay here with them, like it was a whole thing.
Speaker 1:That's like the epitome of like the next, the next level, when, when the one says they're gonna leave uh-huh the whole trip, or like they're gonna leave, like the activity is like crazy.
Speaker 2:It's not like they're crazy, but I'm like yes like the level of, like drama yeah, like that's it, like I'm fucking leaving this whole thing like and then everyone's like yeah, well, the thing is she didn't say it to us, she didn't tell me until later, so I guess she had come up with this whole thing in her head. And then she said she looked at plane tickets. She was like doing all this stuff, like I'm fucking leaving, whatever, and then calls my sister and then my sister like talked her off the ledge and convinced her. To stay, which, yeah, I am surprised, because I would have thought that my sister would be like okay, like yeah, yeah, fuck them, yeah, yeah um.
Speaker 2:So I mean I'm glad, I'm glad that my sister like talked her into staying, because I think my mom needed that vacation too yeah, she just kind of had to get over herself a little bit but yeah, she didn't tell us that she had done all that until later in the week because had and I'm glad she didn't, because I was already so done with her by that. It was literally the second day.
Speaker 2:You might have been the one that said okay, go, I would have been like then fucking leave, I will drive you to the airport, go like I don't. I hate when people threaten stuff like that don't threaten me.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying, like in the vacation thing, when you're like I gotta go, I'm leaving go. I good, that is at a level like I don't understand.
Speaker 2:I don't like.
Speaker 1:I'd rather sit there and pout the whole time. Yeah, that, like that's my level of craziness. Yeah, just be mad then like be like I'm fucking leaving. Yeah, I would have if it were me. Yeah, just be mad then, like be like I'm fucking leaving.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have. If it were me in that situation, I would have been like I'm just gonna get my own hotel room at least, so I'm not sharing a room, so I have my own space, and then if, like, things calm down, we can go back together, but otherwise I'll just spend the rest of vacation kind of on my own. But she was like I'm fucking out of here. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm going, I'm out. Her own mental health was not like it's not good, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So later she told me because we were, and the reason is because we were planning the luau okay and it's, we had a group text going. And then I was like here's the link, who wants to go? I'll just get all the tickets together, and then you guys can just Venmo me or whatever. And then everyone's like, yeah, yeah, that sounds good, yeah, that day is good. And my mom's like I'll'll pass, thanks. And I was like oh God. And then later, like two days later, she was like so do you think you could get me a ticket to the luau still? And I was like, oh my God, of course. So I was like yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:And so got her the ticket went to the luau and that's the thing too is because she was in her head about like thinking about leaving and stuff, and then her head about like thinking about leaving and stuff, and then later on she has to go. Well, do you think?
Speaker 2:you can get me a ticket.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so then, then you you know herself has to like do that and get it together yeah, and and like kind of like at your grace, like can you? You know like yeah, and so then that makes her feel worse at that point too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of groveling a little bit, you know, I called her out because she tried to say something about my aunt not wanting to do stuff with the family.
Speaker 2:Because my the thing with my aunt is she's very like, um, self-sufficient, super independent, and like she'll, like she would just get up hell early, take the rental car and fuck off like all morning till everybody was up, like she would just go to the beach, she would do all this stuff, like go to the shops, like she'll just go around and like have her own little, own little trip.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she don't give a fuck. Yeah, she's like I'm just going to do it. I'm here, I'm going to make the most out of my trip and then like, yeah, I'll do stuff with you guys sometimes, but like she kind of just does her own thing and, for whatever reason, that bothers my mom. And so my mom was just like she just wants to do her own thing, said, well, you're the one that's not going to the luau and that's the only activity we're like actually doing yeah and then she goes, that's, and she was like well, if I'm being honest, I was gonna leave and I was like um, and I said I knew it, I knew you would do that.
Speaker 2:I was like I was surprised you didn't say that. And she's like yeah, I called your sister and I was like so she told me the whole story. And then that's when she's like yeah, can you get me a ticket?
Speaker 1:oh, yeah, you're so stupid, yeah, but anyway.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is sorry this is such a long story, but anyway it was really fun. I'm really glad I went. I actually got like a tan for the first time in my life. I still got sunburned and I'm peeling currently, so that's not that cute.
Speaker 1:I know I feel like I'm browner than I have been because I went on two like warm vacations in a row yeah. Which I haven't been on a tropical vacation in a long time. I feel like. So I feel like this year is like my brown, your brown year. I'm going to be a brown-skinned girl this year Woo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I got back and then I had a you know like, know, when you try to get a tan and you're hella white, it gets uneven, you know, and you get like some parts are darker than others, some parts are a little burned, whatever. And so when I got back, I did like a self tanner to like try and eat, kind of even some stuff out, and I got like a green, green gray based tanner I think it's called Coco and Eve is the first time I used it, love it, and to like even out the parts that were kind of red too. Anyway, it was really good. But then, um, I feel like this past week everyone's been like oh my god, you look so tan. I gotta give you this stuff.
Speaker 1:Joellen had this stuff you know, joellen's really white too when we were in palm sprint no, uh, scottsdale and she just like brushes it on before we go out and it's like a skin perfecter and it just makes everything like even and tan and all these things, and so I gotta it has it comes with like this thick brush.
Speaker 1:You know, I need that like horse brush you know like going like this and scrubbing and stuff all over her before we go out and it looked really good. So I'll ask her what that is. I'll I'll because I feel like you would use that yeah yeah, you whites have to like you whites have to stick together as paper people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we need some, yeah. So I was like maybe I'm gonna try and keep up myself tanner the whole summer, because I was like I really like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm trying to you. Just I don't know. I just feel like I look healthier.
Speaker 2:Well, the thing about being tan everything looks a little bit sexier everything and, yeah, like even your fat, like you have a little chub, and then all of a sudden it's like a little bit tanner.
Speaker 1:You're like, oh, you don't notice it as much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it just looks a little bit nicer yeah, yeah, you know, and because I was like really feeling myself with my tan and everything, I went over to mr monday's house broad daylight, like I only go there at night and I want it to be really dark typically, which, you know, guys are usually like come on, I know they want to turn the lights on and they want to like look at you in the eyes and stuff oh my god that's so embarrassing.
Speaker 1:Don't look at me. Don't look at me.
Speaker 2:I don't care if they look at my face, but I don't really want them to look at everything else. That's where I go, just actually, just look at my face, yeah, but I went there yeah, I went there and it was like middle of the afternoon and I was like I don't give a fuck. Okay, look at me.
Speaker 2:You're feeling yourself yeah, okay, and he was like really complimenting me and I was like, okay, that's great, yeah, okay. So I think I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try and keep up my tan, at least over the summer, even though it'll be a fake tan like in the afternoon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, apparently, yeah, I don't want to be a vampire. Yeah, because you know I get really scared. I never really tan. I am always like slathered in sunscreen and I try to like like the whole time we're at the beach I'm wearing this big ass hat and, like I don't want to have like sun spots, I don't obviously want skin cancer yeah, so. I'm always trying it, but when that week in Kauai I'm like you know what I kind of want, like a real tan, at least a base, and so I felt good about it.
Speaker 1:I felt too like I just want to get some sort of base and then like I think I can sit in the sun for about 15-20 minutes and nothing, and then I put stuff on because it gets me a little something, and then I lather myself and then I have to keep laughing because I will burn, too like I'm not so brown where I won't burn, and brown people burn yeah, like.
Speaker 1:Drew's burned, but it's not even that that will peel right, so that kind of sucks, so I never want to get crispy where I'm like peeling yeah, yeah, the peeling is not good, it's not fun yeah, and I never really tan my face. So I feel like my face, oh, I never, yeah, I never tan because I get um like sunspots so easily tan my face.
Speaker 2:I feel like my face always looks white. Yeah, I never tan Because I get sunspots so easily on my face and I'm just like Jesus. I have SPF 70 on my face every fucking day, and my neck and my chest too, because I hate when white people have red chests, yeah, and I feel like my freckles will just double, Mine will just on my face.
Speaker 1:That could be cute. Yeah, I mean it's fine. I mean Drew really likes it.
Speaker 2:But I don't know the proper term for sunspots. Is it like melasma? Is that what it's called? I think so. It's like the brown, like it almost looks like little birthmarks. Yeah, but they're kind of like around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get.
Speaker 2:That's what I get. Oh, they just stay forever. Well, you could try to lie in them. Okay, I laser, you could laser them. I got, uh, muesli okay, I get their ads. Jesus, they target me hardcore. They got their retargeting ads going, because I will see these muesli ads on facebook and instagram like five times a day and I had barely go on fucking facebook. Um, and it's, they have like a lightning. I tried it and it does work, but, man, it really dries your skin out. Oh, so you have, it's like you have to put it on and then you have to like, like, like, really slather on the lotion and I, you know, I don't like when my face is shiny well, yeah, because you already have oily skin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah so I had a hard time with it. So I gotta yeah, I gotta just do it slow, yeah, but dilute it a little, yeah, but I mean, yes, I mean I feel like we we talk about like we've already talked about a few trips recently we've been on. I feel like we have so many social activities all the fucking time. Yeah, it's exhausting, it is and it's like it's fun, but also it's so tiring and you have to coordinate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so do you live and die by your Google calendar? Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:If it's not on my phone, it's not happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah you know I don't write shit down.
Speaker 2:Oh, I bet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know mine, mine barely like has my last appointments. Oh, my God, Like I barely have it, honestly, like I can open it up right now and it is like just nothing almost. I mean it has my work schedule. Thank God for that. But besides that it has nothing.
Speaker 2:I have pretty much every day. My Google Calendar has stuff on it and it's color coded depending on.
Speaker 1:So type a, if it's like, if it's like a personal appointment, it's a one color.
Speaker 2:if it's like a Bentley appointment, it's a different. If it's like a work thing, it's different, or if it's yeah, they're just like all these different, because I have even like even I make events as like reminders, so like every Thursday it'll be like run payroll at like 5. Am it just like everything's in my calendar? Yeah, I just, I have to, because I will fucking forget everything.
Speaker 1:Me too. That's why I do forget things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know how you do that and I just like kind of just live like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's kind of fun.
Speaker 2:People are like, oh, I'm like hold on and I'm looking, scrolling through, like all these. I'm like, well, I saw this thing last night and it was like something like when you're an adult and you're trying to make plans with somebody and you're like, yeah, I could hang out on Wednesday, three weeks from now, but only at 5 pm for 37 minutes. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I feel, I think that's how people schedule their sex lives too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So, their sex lives too. Yeah, yeah, so. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I mean, I think it's better if you schedule it instead of not doing it at all. Yeah, I think so, so yeah, what?
Speaker 1:yeah, tell us about your sex schedule.
Speaker 2:I would well. So my sex schedule has been ramping up, okay, okay, let's hear about. I mean just ramping up with Mray, that's it.
Speaker 2:He used to be just mr monday, now he's like a mr monday, wednesday, friday oh okay, you're having sex regularly, which I think makes for a happier person yeah, and it's just really and it's like you know, and I feel like the more that you have this like intimate, like experiences with like the same person, even if there's not like a romantic relationship there, it's like you just I don't know, you just feel more like connected because you guys don't hang out outside of your sexual experience no, typically it's.
Speaker 2:I go to his house. We might talk for like five minutes before, but usually it just like starts right away and then afterwards I'll hang out for like an hour or two and we're just like talking, hanging out, whatever, but that's it, like we don't go anywhere.
Speaker 1:You're eating together or no?
Speaker 2:No, okay, not usually Okay, because I just want to go home and eat yeah. I don't want to fuck around with that and you gotta take a nap and stuff. Yeah, I'm like yeah, well, I have to have my review after. I'm like let's talk about it.
Speaker 2:And then sometimes he's like he smokes weed a lot so you guys smoke weed I don't yeah, I I mean not with him, but like he'll smoke and stuff, because I'm like I'm gonna go home, my son's home, and I'm like I like smell like weed and sex, jesus just weed and sex yeah, yeah. My son will be like where the fuck have you been? Yeah, I hope he doesn't know what those things smell like yeah, well, that one time, uh remember, I told you he found my weed pen in my room.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was so mad at you so disappointed yeah he was just like wow, you're fucking awful, mm-hmm. So he only knew the shit that I did. But he'll find out someday.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he will, he'll figure it out, yeah, yeah, but like Well, that's good. I mean, I always thought that people should have like a regular Mm-hmm, just so that they could just I don't know, I feel like it releases something just to have like yeah this endorphins, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just like I don't know if that's the correct thing that it releases, but I'm gonna go with it. There's a connection, yeah, it's just like another connection, yeah, and like I feel like like lately we're like I'll say they're longer after and we spend more time and we're talking about more stuff in our lives and it's just kind of like. It's kind of like is there just a friend?
Speaker 1:yeah you know a friend that you have sex yeah, your fuck buddy, but that's it.
Speaker 2:Like we're not going on dates, we're not, but the.
Speaker 1:Thing is.
Speaker 2:We talked about it like we would go on vacations, together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like we've been like should we go somewhere sexy vacations? You know like the sex is going to be good for seven days. It's low pressure, you don't really need to get into fights or anything about, and we don't have to do stuff together the whole time either, yeah, and also it's a vacation with him.
Speaker 2:I know we talked about it, so maybe we'll go somewhere this summer because my son will be gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, a little sexy summer even if it's just like you know, like you go friday through monday, yeah, where do you go, though I?
Speaker 2:don't know. Yeah, well, we talked about. We also talked about going on a singles cruise together. I know you've said this. Yeah, also we talked about going on a swingers cruise that could be fun, I don't know okay, so here's the thing about the swingers cruise?
Speaker 1:do you think that everything is just like kind of dirty? Oh, for sure yeah, not dirty and like filthy, but it's just like a lot of cum everywhere. A lot of cum on the sheets, on the pillows, on the people, on everything I mean could be, but also I'm like, well, yeah I mean, it's what it is, it's fine, like it's not like.
Speaker 2:Cum is like the dirtiest thing, I feel like I mean, I don mean, I don't know, I don't know right. I don't know those places I feel like have to have some type of, I mean I know they're cleaning, but there are body fluids coming out all the time For sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I've seen these things on TikTok where it's just like beds outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, you're just like it. I think it's so interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we were like okay, so we talked about that. But I was like I feel like I need an introduction to this by going to a sex club first, yeah. And then he was like yeah, let's go to this one in San Francisco, cause he's been there before. And so he was like I just want to go.
Speaker 1:I know, yeah, I just yeah I just want, like I don't need to participate or anything. Yeah, like I just want to go and see these places and just be like like what is happening? Wow, this is a whole different world. I love it. Yeah, like good for everyone.
Speaker 2:That's like doing this, like I think that's so dope and I want to know, like, what are people wearing to this where? So, the one that we were talking about going, it's like a like actually, so they have a pretty good website, oh, and like the website is really like they have rules. It's like here's the rules, um, so I mean there's like they just say some basic like social rules, like well, here's the thing too, you, you have to go as a couple or you could be a single woman. Single men are not allowed to go yeah, um single.
Speaker 1:There's one day a week where single men can go, and you have to be pre-vetted.
Speaker 2:You have, or you could be a single woman. Single men are not allowed to go. Yeah, I can see that there's one day a week where single men can go and you have to be pre-vetted. You have to like, email them and get on like a list, poor guys.
Speaker 1:But single ladies Is it like? You wear wristbands where you're like okay, I'm participating or not participating?
Speaker 2:No, it's just like. They just have all these like outlines of just kind of like okay, so like I don't even know how to like just saying basic shit that you would think is common sense, but they're just like. Yeah, I mean, everybody can. You can either not participate or participate, but don't just like assume that people want to participate. Um, also, it's a byob, like they don't. Actually. It's like a club. It's like an actual. It looks like a club, but there's no. There's like a bar. It's like an actual. It looks like a club, but there's no. There's like a bar, but there's no bartender, you can't serve alcohol probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so everyone brings their own alcohol. And he said he went there, so he's been there only one time. And he said people brought hell alcohol and it's just sitting all over the bar Like everyone just like drinks each other's alcohol, like it's just like whatever, so roofie's in there, I mean. But he said it's yeah, it's just like. He said it's pretty chill, it's not? He was like yeah, I mean, some people are just doing some crazy shit, but like he's like, it's not like you're just walking around. And then he said there's like the mostly the open spaces, because there's like a dance floor, like a club, and then there's like little areas and he's like, but mostly like if people are actually having sex, they're mostly like in these rooms, because there's like little rooms, yeah, yeah, and he's like but I mean, some people are just out there just doing whatever they're just like, because sometimes I picture this too right because I read books like about this.
Speaker 1:But so then in your head you just have like yeah, whatever you think like I picture, like these like clubs and then like the like lounge area. There are some people maybe like just like dry humping or whatever yeah it's a dry jacking and they're just out there, like in this, like club setting, like you would think, like booths in a club and a dance floor, and yes, but there's probably people having sex out there too yes and then in the back there's like rooms, people, and then there's like those Voyager rooms where people can watch, maybe yeah, there's rooms too where you could like rent like private rooms if you want to have your own like little party situation going on or whatever.
Speaker 2:So I don't know. I like I told him too. I said, look, if we go because here's my thing I have a problem. I, I I have a problem like saying no to people or being like like I don't want the awkwardness of if someone comes up to us and starts this conversation or like they're interested and we're not interested or I'm not interested.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have a really hard time being like no thanks and also, is there ever a worry that like you, you're like, yeah, I'm into this, I'm into this, and then all of a sudden you're not into it? And then you're like, but I can't say I'm not into this anymore now, like, that's like, that would be my fear. Like for me, like yeah, I'm excited, I'm excited.
Speaker 2:Then I go, oh, I don't want to do this anymore, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta back up a little bit, but I, I feel like I'm a lot more like, I'm a lot better about that now than I used to be. For some reason it's yeah, it's easier for me to be like in the middle of it and be like you know, I, I'm, I don't want to do this anymore than to like up front, say no, because I feel like up front saying no, you're just like nothing has even started and you're just like I don't want to.
Speaker 1:I don't want any part of this yeah, yeah, it's like kind of mean.
Speaker 2:I mean and it isn't mean, but it's just like, and so I'm worried, I'm gonna go there and there's just gonna be everyone's ugly.
Speaker 1:I do picture these places.
Speaker 2:This is mean that people look pretty pedestrian oh, no one's gonna be like hot, I don't think I don't know. And he was just like like. I was like what is that? And he's like I don't know. He's like I don't think I don't know, and he was just like like. I was like what is the? And he's like I don't know. He's like I also don't know. Like what's your type? I don't know. Yeah, like.
Speaker 1:I picture this is kind of mean to say, I think just say it people. I should say this I just picture a lot of like older couples okay, that's what I was, and I think too, because you do date younger than you too that I feel like it's going to be a bunch. There's nothing wrong with 50-year-olds, but you don't typically date those type of men.
Speaker 2:No, I don't.
Speaker 1:So that's different for you. You need to be at the sex clubs with the 30-year-olds, yeah, so I would picture this place a little bit different.
Speaker 2:That's exactly what I thought too, and I was like are we going to be the youngest ones there? Yeah, and he was like no, it's like a range. He's like, yeah, there's like 20-year-olds Not 20, but like in their 20s. He's like, yeah, it's a pretty like. Yeah, I mean people are just pretty forward, like this is what we're here to do, so we don't need to act like whatever. And he's like yeah, I mean people are going to come up and talk to you or they're going to whatever. And then what's going to happen? And I was like I don't know. And so I was like we have to have code words, we have to. And he's like, yeah, because there's couples. So you go there.
Speaker 2:And then let's say, because I said, what, what does that mean, though? Like it's a couple, and then you just like swap partners or what like we're just like, oh yeah, this couple's hot, so like I'm just gonna go have sex with this guy and you're gonna go off with the girl, or what, what, like what. He was like it just kind of depends. And he's's like sometimes the girls just are like doing stuff and the guys are just like watching. I'm like what? And so I was like this is the thing is I don't know that I trust his judgment in women, his taste level. From some of the ones that I've seen, I go. Not that they're like bad, but I'm going to go. That's not someone I would fuck around with yeah um, so yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:And so we were like, okay, we're going to like have some like ground rules before we go, and then and we're just talking about it and like it's just kind of silly, like we're coming up with like fake scenarios and stuff, and then I was like, yeah, and if something like I don't know, someone's talking to me and I'm just going to be like, oh, I'm going to look at you and be like I've never seen this lady in my life.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, he's going to leave you. I was like go fuck yourself. He was like no, Paying you out to dry, yeah, he's silly. But he's so nice. He was just like, yeah, I think you should just go have this experience.
Speaker 1:And he's like if you don't want to walk through, I'm an observer yeah.
Speaker 2:I just want to see, like what are people doing yeah, what's happening in here Fun, or I just want to be like an instigator Like you.
Speaker 1:go do that over there, you do it you do it. You're such a dominatrix lady. Yeah, Like you just want to tell boss people around.
Speaker 2:I kind of do, yeah, that's so funny because so I went on a date last night.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And the guy told me that I give dominatrix vibes. I was like I do.
Speaker 1:You're like bossy. Yeah it was a couple, oh, okay. Okay, what kind of couple was?
Speaker 2:this. How did this come about? It was on an app. It was on the Field app, which is like my, my main one if I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Yeah, and actually I connected with them on the app like months ago, probably like six months ago, but we never met. And then me and the girl just kind of like messaged here and there but she was just like, oh, because they live in San Francisco, and she was like, are you ever in the city? And I'm like not really. Also, you're obviously never in Fairfield, like there's nothing going on over here.
Speaker 2:And so, um, she was just like, yeah, like if you ever just want to plan like a date night in the city or it's like you're gonna be here and I was like, yeah, but then it kind of just kept going off and on because I would like not be on the app for a while. So she messaged me last week and was just like, because she had said like oh, are you, are you? I can't remember what was happening in March. What do we have going on in March?
Speaker 1:it was last month busy.
Speaker 2:I was like gone or something, because I was telling her oh, I think I was in. Uh, did I go to Utah in March?
Speaker 1:I think I did anyway you went to Utah and you went to Iowa.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right, Not Idaho. And I was like, yeah, april is less busy for me. Well, she messaged me a couple times in April and I was like, I'm so busy, yeah. And then she messaged me again last week. She's really trying to lick your pussy, I can't with you.
Speaker 2:She really is trying to get at her and she was just like yeah, do you want to like go for drinks? And I was like, yeah, that yeah. And so she was like here's the thing too typically people on there are really considerate and they're not like like sleazy kind like she was. Like are you planning on driving in to the city? Are you taking bar? Are you like?
Speaker 1:what's happening?
Speaker 2:and um, do you want us to meet you halfway or something like I just want to be in consider of, like your transportation? I was like like they're typically like, especially people who live in the city, you know who, some people don't even drive yeah um, so they, yeah. So anyway, we planned on meeting, we met in Walnut Creek and we just got drinks and apps and yeah, that was it, I mean. And then we have a date planned for next Friday.
Speaker 1:Oh, nice Okay.
Speaker 2:And when okay. So usually what happens to you? Go on these like couple dates. Usually you go on one to like get a vibe check Cause you're not going to just be like let's just show up and have this threesome. What if I don't like you? We could? I'm sure people do that. I never do that, yeah, and the people who, uh, I don't know the like people who I have met on there have never been like, oh, let's just meet or whatever.
Speaker 2:So like me and just get down to it yeah it's always like oh hey, let's go to lunch or let's get like meet or whatever, so like me and just get down to it. Yeah, it's always like oh hey, let's go to lunch or let's get like drinks, or whatever, I mean, it is better just to get to know each other a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, yeah. I don't know, unless it's like that's your fantasy, that you just want to, like a stranger, get in, get in there. I don't need to talk to you about it like which I did with that one British guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was fun, yeah see, and then he would, and then he would like want to stay and talk, and I was like, no, that wasn't the deal. You have to go. This is not part of my fantasy. No, you came in my house, I left the door unlocked. You're supposed to come in like you're like stalking me or something. And then you, yeah, and then you just get the fuck out. Don't ever talk to me again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, my god I can't believe he can't even talk to you. No, don ever talk to me again. Yeah, oh, my god, I can't leave you can't even talk to you. No, don't talk to me and if I see you in public, you I pretend you don't know me.
Speaker 2:Absolutely not. We don't know each other.
Speaker 1:Don't look at me and don't talk to me, I don't fucking know you. Yeah, so.
Speaker 2:So you have a date Friday. We have a date Friday, like I'm gonna go to their house their house.
Speaker 1:Okay, do you feel weird about going to people's houses when it's like this kind of environment, or no?
Speaker 2:A little bit and, okay, this is gonna sound really weird, like this is gonna sound sketchy, but what? Okay, so we get to like maybe we're like three-fourths of the way through the date and she asks me oh God, I'm scared. I feel like it's gonna sound really bad. Okay, let's hear it, and then I'll like it's going to sound really bad. Okay, let's hear it, and then I'll judge it, and then you can explain.
Speaker 1:Okay, go.
Speaker 2:She asked me what is my level of drug use? And I said what does that mean? She's trying to do coke. And yeah, he was like and the guy she's like so sweet and like kind of just like nice and like I don't know, and he's like kind of just like nice and like I don't know, and he's like kind of to the point, like he's a little blunt, and so she's asking me and I'm like well, what do you mean? And he was like, yeah, I mean, do you smoke weed or do anything more than that? And I was like I mean I don't even really smoke weed. I was like maybe once a year, twice, if I'm going to like a music festival or something like it's a special occasion, but I don't really. But but like what? Like what kind of what are you asking, you know? And they're like, yeah, I mean we have done some like other, like hardship before, and they're like we don't really do that. But again they'll be like, yeah, maybe like once a year, twice a year. And so she was like specifically asking if I have ever taken Molly, and I was like no, and they, so I was like tell me what, tell me about it. And so they were like yeah, and I guess what happened is they were.
Speaker 2:They went on a date with a girl this was like a year ago and they were in like getting drinks and then she asked them to like take some Molly. Yeah, like we should take Molly. And the girl was like and he had done it before. The guy he's from new york and he's like I've done hella drugs, okay, and she was like I don't, I don't do that. And so she was like I've never done that before. And the girl was just like yeah, I'm gonna have some with me, like let's just fucking do it. And she said she was hella scared the girlfriend. She was like I don't know about this. And she said that she was hella scared the girlfriend. She was like I don't know about this. And she said that she was like nervous because that she's heard, when you take Molly, you're very like affectionate and it's like a very like bonding. And she was like no, because what if we take it? And then you guys fall in love with each other?
Speaker 1:No, you'll come down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what so anyway?
Speaker 1:So that was. That was a the first time I ever had been asked that question. Yeah, that is kind of like a a weird way of like doing it too like instead of being like oh, have you ever done like shrooms or something like the level, like are we on application like the level of drug use? Yeah, I just feel like that was such a weird way.
Speaker 2:It was part of the interview.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's more of an uncomfortable way of saying it, though. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like what is your level of drug use? I'm like Zero. I don't.
Speaker 1:I checked the box of none. I don't use drugs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I might, if you want to that's fine, but like well she said so, because the thing too, it's almost like when you go on these dates too, it's like they mostly, at least in my experience it's like they are asking me so many questions, it's like they really get to know me a lot and like I don't get to know them as much, not as much. And also it's two people and you're trying to like ask both so you get a little less. But I mean I feel like I learned a lot of stuff about them, but I mean we really talked about a lot of stuff, did you? I mean it, I feel like I learned a lot of stuff about them, but I mean we were really talking about a lot of stuff, did you? I mean, and then he'll just like he kind of like digs, like he would dig into, like he wants to know more.
Speaker 1:He's going to be digging you out. That's what he's going to be doing, so is there any?
Speaker 2:rules. No, they were like no rules.
Speaker 1:She said we're more of, yes, people. Do you have rules or are you a?
Speaker 2:yes girl, too, I'm a yes girl. But I also say in advance, like, and everyone again who this ever has been an experience with, it's like everyone has always said, just to confirm, if at any point anyone's uncomfortable, it's like it just has to be said that like it's totally fine to just say like stop this, we're not doing this.
Speaker 1:Yeah I want to do it like abruptly, just like shock everyone in the middle of it, yeah stop it. Yeah, you're like scare everyone and everyone's like just like looking like what happened, what happened? Yeah, I'm uncomfortable, I'm leaving.
Speaker 2:Yeah fuck you guys. Yeah, I hate this. I wanna go home. You just took me here and gave me drugs. Yeah, yeah, I gotta go to the hospital. Also, I feel like she was like what. She was really selling her brother to me At the same time, which was like such a funny situation.
Speaker 1:It's weird if I've had sex with your husband and your brother. And you, just so you know, yeah, what kind of incestual thing are we really doing?
Speaker 2:here, yeah, her poor brother, his girlfriend, died. Oh no, yeah, he had a girlfriend for like years.
Speaker 1:How old is?
Speaker 2:he 34. 34. And he had a girlfriend for years and they like, they like talked about getting married, all this stuff. One night they were like hella drunk, uh, they were like out somewhere. She fell down the stairs. Okay, so this is the thing. She fell on the stairs, hit her head, didn't die. That night she was like got a concussion or whatever is what they thought. And then two months later she was like getting hella headaches for a few days in a row and like getting all these crazy migraines out of nowhere. And then one day she just went to sleep, never woke up she had a brain.
Speaker 1:She had a brain bleed like a slow brain bleed from that fall.
Speaker 2:Isn't that crazy, I know. And then she said he's just been going through it like ever since. Then he's like tried to get on bumble and like he's just been having like shitty dates it's really sad, I'm like fuck, yeah, I know depressing, but she said he's a great guy. Oh man, yeah, so it was just fun, like it was just really fun. And then you know, like my favorite part of going on one of these dates is when someone leaves to go to the bathroom because then you talk to the other person yeah, I feel like it's almost like known, like everyone needs to take a bathroom break separately so everyone can have discussions, yeah.
Speaker 2:so he left first to go to the bathroom and soon as he walked away, she was like okay, how are? How are you feeling? Yeah, and I was like yeah, this is really fun. And she's like okay. And she was like also, he just kind of says stuff.
Speaker 1:Like she's like apologizing, she's like explaining, yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I was like I could tell he's kind of abrupt, yeah, and she's like he just says things that are kind of off the wall sometimes and like I don't know, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, I could tell too. Sometimes he goes to talk and you are looking at him like what are you about to say?
Speaker 1:you know, yeah, like nervous about it you could tell her face, just like I feel like if I was a couple like if I was a couple, I would definitely be like if the person left, I'd be like, oh my god, they're fucking crazy. Yeah, we gotta go, just leave. We gotta go. We gotta leave her there with the check. True, just pay. We just say it's an emergency with the kids or something. We have to go. Yeah, like if that was you know, that's how I picture it going with us, or something yeah, it's like funny, like that yeah, it was nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good, because she, like she kind of was apologetic yeah, which she didn't need to be. Yeah, yeah it was he's, that's just and she goes. Also he loves tea and she's like I don't know if you could tell, like when you would say something he would lean in like he's trying to hear what yeah, yeah, he's like if you had to hear it.
Speaker 1:So I feel like boys like to make fun of us, that we like to do the gossip train, but then they'll be like, wait, what do they text you? Yeah, yeah. And then I feel like they all do that and I'm like shut the fuck up, get out of here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they were asking me about, uh, meeting guys on that app and then I was like, yeah, and I was telling them and I didn't want to say you know, there's a lot of small penises and also because he might have one right and like can't keep it up and stuff. And so I was like, yeah, I've had some good experiences. But also there was a few who just uh, and he was like leaning across the table, he's like just say it, just say.
Speaker 1:Gonna be like in a sexual experience. Why aren't you like taking Viagra or like whatever into that lotion that makes you like go longer or whatever it is Like? Why aren't you doing these things? To make the experience? Because I have to, like, put lotion on perfume, fucking, get wax and do all these things. Why aren't you can do something? Put lotion on perfume, fucking, get wax and do all these things. Why aren't you like, can you do something? Yeah, I'll bring Lou if I like get dry all the time, or whatever it is Like.
Speaker 1:Why is it that you aren't making my experience better, and yourself?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know Idiots, idiots. Come on guys. Yeah, but it was funny. And then I left to go to the bathroom and then when I came back, yeah, is it awkward coming back.
Speaker 1:You're just like are you guys talking shit about me?
Speaker 2:No, they were like laughing, like they were laughing, and I sat down and he like they're laughing, and then he looks over he goes sorry, we were just talking shit about you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. Were you guys talking shit about me? I?
Speaker 2:can tell Like they were kind of he was really funny and like I feel like made things like more comfortable, because I feel like in the beginning me and her were kind of awkward. Oh, it's like you're just nervous and you're just like hi. So yeah. We're here Like it's like we know what we're here for, but you just feel weird yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think I could ever get going in these kind of situations God situations. I feel like it's so fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like it would be fun Cause, you know, I like I love to talk to people, you know, and I kind of like the uncomfortableness, I like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know I would be so worried that I would hate the people because, you know, when I really don't like people, I can't fucking stand them and I'd be like I. This is.
Speaker 2:I gotta go Well, and I think that's why it's good to just be like we're like we're just gonna grab a drink right, it's not like we're gonna have a 10 course dinner yeah, and then when you get there, if things are fine, you're like, we like. We ended up getting more drinks, we got appetizers like you could extend it. Yeah, but otherwise, if you're like, oh, I'm just grab a drink and I always use my son as an excuse for everything, I would be like oh.
Speaker 2:I gotta pick him up. He's at his friends, I gotta go. Yeah, it would be fine. Yeah, but yeah. But then I was just like a little bit silly after. I was like really I mean I wasn't drunk, but I was kind of like drunk texting people after oh you're so weird I almost texted you, but then I did it. But I was just I mean, I was just drunk texting the current guys oh fun, just random stuff. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, nobody was responding. Okay well, it's not as fun then Everyone was asleep.
Speaker 1:Tell us about. I probably shouldn't call him this, but bald short guy.
Speaker 2:Fucking bald short guy. Yeah who you were actually excited to date. I was so excited about him. It was promising. We met on Bumble, we went on a date. This is before I went to Hawaii and it was so cute. We just met in Davis, because he lives in Sacramento.
Speaker 1:And let's say something positive Like he had a nice body.
Speaker 2:Oh, really nice body yeah. He's a trainer, or he used to be a trainer.
Speaker 1:He works in tech now but he's like, is a really into fitness, had a really nice body, but he was short and bald and he has a cat and I don't like single dudes with cats well, here's the thing you always say like you don't like guys with cats, but the thing is is that you are literally allergic to cats, like I have to remind you this every time like it's not that it's the guy with a cat, it's that you're allergic with the, to the cat it's like I don't want to believe that I know you don't, but literally we were in utah with riley and riley had to get her cat picked up and taken somewhere else because you were having full-on allergic reaction.
Speaker 1:so you quit pretending you're not allergic as soon as the cat was gone and she like cleaned up. It was fine, I know. So it's not that you don't Okay, yes, but that should be secondary. That you don't like the guys, okay, the first thing you'd be like and I'm allergic to cats, so like it's not going to work out, I know.
Speaker 2:But I keep thinking like maybe I'm not that allergic.
Speaker 1:Literally your eyes were like fucking pink eye and your nose was like stuffed yeah okay, I don't want to hear it it wasn't fun but anyway, maybe I.
Speaker 2:Maybe I think too that like he'll choose me over the cat or something maybe that's in the back of my mind, like I'm like, ah, it's just a cat no, people love their cats. No, they do, of course, it's just I yeah, it's just like I would never expect someone to get rid of their fucking. Can you imagine, yeah, would you get rid of your dog?
Speaker 1:get the fuck out of here. If he was allergic like you were like, okay, I love this person, we're gonna move in together, but I have to get rid of my dog.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I have a hypoallergenic dog first of all. Yeah, um, but what if? They're allergic to the dog saliva which people are. Here's the thing. I don't know that I god, and I mean this is probably not true, but at this moment in time I'm like I literally cannot see myself living with a person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you always say this god I go.
Speaker 2:God, I don't know. I'm like, can I? Just? Maybe there'll be a time when I have a relationship where I'm like yeah, I want to spend a lot of time with you, but maybe we could get like conjoined, like we get a duplex you can keep your cat over there, I keep my dog over here, and then we just hang out.
Speaker 1:I don't know which yeah, it's so weird because I'm still the opposite. It's like day one obsessed. We have to never be apart, ever again.
Speaker 2:I don't like. Uh, yeah, I mean, I've said this before time together is not my love language.
Speaker 1:I need my space yeah, not me.
Speaker 2:Always together, always touching yeah, I mean physical touch is one of my top. When I'm with them, I feel like that's how it is, where I'm just like, but then I'm like right after, like soon as I'm over. I'm over, I have to go.
Speaker 1:Don't call me yeah, mean you always have to go to eat and take a nap, so yeah, I got to take a break from people.
Speaker 2:I have to recharge my battery, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I was really excited about him and he seemed really smart, really like nice. We had such great banter. It was such a funny date. We just walked around downtown. It was like a coffee date, um, because he doesn't drink yeah.
Speaker 2:So tell us the red flags, not red pink orange, yeah, whatever, I don't like that he doesn't yellow drink, which there have been so many guys in a row lately that are sober and I'm like here's the thing. I don't even really drink that much, but I wanna have the option. Like how last night we just like went out for drinks. I got a couple glasses of wine and it was like that's perfect, it's just fun. But like that's not an option with someone who, it's sober, you're not doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean we discussed this. I just would never date anyone that doesn't really drink. I don't really even like to have friends that don't drink.
Speaker 2:I mean, you drink a lot.
Speaker 1:That's not me, I mean, that's mean to say, but like I, yeah, my best friend doesn't really drink Both of your best friends.
Speaker 2:But, Both of your best friends don't drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah, both your best friends don't you? Yeah, yeah, but joellen, never it.
Speaker 1:She is might be more fun than the drunk people sometimes yeah like she, it's never a thing.
Speaker 1:But like her and I don't go wine tasting together like she, I wouldn't invite her. I actually have because her husband does drink, but like I just don't know how it's. Like alcohol is a big part of my life because I'm an addict, you know, and so I just can't imagine going. Like when there's dry parties, drew and I look at each other like are you fucking kidding me? We're going to a dry party and I probably have only been to two of them my whole life. Like you don't even have any kind of memos out there, you don't have like a beer for me. That's so weird to me. Like I can't believe people have dry parties, like the thing is, and I think that those type of people maybe they hung out with people that are out of control drinkers where like you know, I just want to have something to sip on and I don't really want to have coffee or sparkling water.
Speaker 1:No, you know.
Speaker 2:Not as fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I mean you're a poor guy.
Speaker 2:Well, and I mean he has a good reason. I mean his dad's an alcoholic and addiction runs.
Speaker 1:Better that than you dating an alcoholic.
Speaker 2:So that was the other guy. Yeah, yeah yeah, the other guy that I went on a date with, but recovering. He's recovering, not like yeah, I meant like better, you know, a sober guy than an alcoholic yeah, wait remember the guy yeah, the alcoholic guy that he tried to hide it and act like he wasn't and he would call you to pick him up.
Speaker 1:All the time, oh god stop calling me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, drunk, stop calling me. Yep, jesus and then come to find out remember we can't find out he like had a dui, he had gotten a dui, yeah.
Speaker 1:Then later found out he had actually two duis and I was like, listen, I can't wait, so there's two guys that I'm picturing okay there's one guy that didn't live here, oh, that's the dui that's the dui guy, right, and he would just kind of tell you these stories and like, like it would be off the hook, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, and then there was the one guy and then I posted him in one of those Facebook groups. Yeah, and what happened? And cause he's a flight attendant, which is really weird to me when guys are flight attendants.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Cause you think that it's like a feminine job, kinda. Yeah, um, talk about gender roles, I know, okay, you talk about me. That's so rude. That's so rude to say. I know that was a really fucked up thing to say, but like it weirded me out that he was, I think, because he was so obsessed with being a flight attendant, like it wasn't just like, oh yeah, this is my job.
Speaker 2:He was like obsessed with it he had a kid too, a little one he did who he was, like going to court, like having like custody issues because he's an alcoholic yeah, I would say that that's a hindrance.
Speaker 1:It was really not you can't really have small children and be an alcoholic no, yeah, yeah, so there was that one.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I posted him in the group and then hella, flight attendants in the group were like, oh my god, yeah, he's definitely an alcoholic. Yeah, and like we and a lot of women were like, yeah, I mean, here's the thing like flight crews typically do drink a lot like we do but and tell, wait, wasn't it something like you went to go pick him up and then he was already drunk?
Speaker 1:and he's like I had one drink and then I waited for you. Then I had another drink and you were like what?
Speaker 2:yes, okay, he was already drunk when I got to the date and i'm'm like, are you fucking kidding me? And then we were walking out from this place. We went to God what is it called Drake's in Sacramento, and it was like embarrassing, like he was like Stumbling, stumbling around. And then we were walking back and he literally tripped on the curb. No, he fell, which?
Speaker 1:no, it was like he the curb?
Speaker 2:no, he fell which, no, it was like he kind of fell like into me, which really gave me the ick I was like don't ever trip. That's gross, that's so embarrassing. Yeah, also side note, I have tripped on three dates before, like fully tripped and fell on the ground you're embarrassing.
Speaker 1:You know you got to be at your best.
Speaker 2:I I am not though, because you know, I'm wearing heels and I'm doing all this stupid shit. Once I was. We were leaving and I literally had one drink. It wasn't like but he was like oh, are you good to drive? And I was like, yeah, I had one glass of wine, it's fine, so we go out. And then I tripped on the fucking curb and I fell down and he was like are you sure now you're the?
Speaker 2:alcoholic. I swear, I swear, I'm just really clumsy. Um, anyway, yeah, and then the other alcoholic guy who would drink all the time and then he'd call me in the middle of the night to pick him up and. I'm like don't, don't call me anymore, I'll get you. I will call you an uber.
Speaker 1:The fact that he would call you to pick him up is wild and he would be.
Speaker 2:And it's not like he was even in town. It's like you want me to drive 30 minutes to come get you right. And here's the thing I'll pick up anyone like I'm not trying to have anyone get duis or whatever but this was not a guy that you like was in your life. We weren't dating you need to call your friends, sir, we weren't even like sleeping. Also call an uber.
Speaker 1:I said there's no reason for anyone to get duis at this point, you can call uber. It amazes me that people drink and drive because you can call anything. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is crazy yeah, he was an idiot, but yeah, so now you're dating sober men.
Speaker 1:God it's so. It's like one or the other yeah so.
Speaker 2:So then, short ball guy. But the date was so good, yeah, and we so we were in Davis, and then we're walking around with our coffee and we're just talking and having this great time, and then this like parade started and I was like what the fuck is this parade? And there was like old people on a float. Then there was like what is this? And she was like an older lady and like standing by and we're like what is this parade about? And she, the UC Davis was having they have it's called Picnic Day or something like that.
Speaker 2:And it was this parade for and I was like I never heard of that. That's so cute. It was the most adorable. I felt like I was on an episode of the Bachelor. I was on like, oh my God, there was like people blowing bubbles. It was so like the most wholesome experience. Yeah, you felt like you were on TV.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like yeah, cute, I love it. Uh-huh, I love it, I love it. I just love shit like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like this is such a fun date.
Speaker 1:We had such a about this guy. I must say I haven't seen you excited about someone in a while.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, I, you were like this guy, and then you show his and I think he's cute, okay, okay, fuck you guys. Okay, here's what happened. I show you his photos and you're like okay, you know, whatever, you were just like okay. I mean, you're not really into white guys unless they're celebrities.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean for me, the white men for me have to be top tier.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And we're not there. That's not what he is. So I was like, oh my God, I think he's really cute and I think he has a really nice body and whatever, and then I show the pictures to kristin kristin kristin uh-huh, I show the picture she goes. This is literally what she goes. Oh, I can't even go that high. Oh, I was like, oh my god and then she.
Speaker 1:Her line is always there's someone for everyone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she always says it Someone for everyone and she just goes, oh okay.
Speaker 1:Oh my God. And then she's like I'm like, let me see him again. And I'm just like, yeah, I mean, here's the thing. It's really hard because like, yeah, you like white guys. One right and I'm a kind of a. I'm a little snobby, uh a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard for me.
Speaker 1:I'm spoiled. My husband is six one handsome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my husband is bald and has a really nice body so I want that for everyone well, you know, they're not really out there, not a lot of yeah and it's hard to, like you know, when you see this guy.
Speaker 1:Just judging people just based on their looks is really hard too like it's not giving me anything, like you know he's his mannerism, yeah, he's so amazing and I get to, like you know, find out how his personality is and like, oh my god, I just love Brianna's boyfriend. He's so nice, you know, like stuff like that. So I think that's really hard judging anyone like just based off looks.
Speaker 2:Photos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, which sucks Like we, you know, I know.
Speaker 2:It's really mean and you know it's fucked up, but that's how it is, and I mean people do it to us too, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that they say I'm ugly and fat, so it's fine.
Speaker 2:Well, it is what it is.
Speaker 1:So that was one of his red flags, though, like he doesn't drink, and also the regimen thing right. Oh my God. He's a little more, which is funny because you're kind of like that a little bit too, yeah, so it's funny that that was like a dinger for you.
Speaker 2:It was like okay, until like to a certain extent, like he was saying, like he's very like routine, very regimented, all this stuff, and I was just like, yeah, that's fine. I mean, I kind of am too. And then he like kind of gets more into it. He's telling me this stuff and I, and he has like there's a list of things that he eats and it's like these are the only things that he eats, that's it and it's just so he's so into health and fitness, which you know I'm just not at all, and so it's hard to be.
Speaker 2:I think it's hard to date someone for both people like. It would be hard for someone super like into their health and fitness to date someone who's like eating pop tarts all day yeah, I mean, I think it goes back to the same thing where someone's sober and someone's not sober.
Speaker 1:You know, like I can't date a sober person, you know, and a sober person definitely shouldn't date me. So, like you know, I'm saying like they, I, it's not something that could happen it's not compatible yeah, yeah so that was like the only.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there was like a couple things, but otherwise I was like I don't know, yeah, it could work out.
Speaker 1:So I think it was fine yeah yeah, yeah, um.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was just like texting me after the date, like because he had to leave. He was helping his friend move, so he had to go. Uh, I mean we were there for like three hours or something.
Speaker 1:It was a while he's like bitch, I gotta go. Yeah, I can't be here with you any longer. What is this? A 10 hour date?
Speaker 2:yeah we're just walking around for three hours yeah, that's too much, and so yeah, so he left. He texted me later like oh, I wish we were still hanging out. I had so much fun. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you could have. I wish we were still hanging out. Yeah, you're the one who had to leave. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:And then he was like, yeah, let's do something tomorrow, which I knew he already had shit going. Then the next day he texted me like he overcommitted, he had too much going on and was like I feel like I stretched myself too thin and I don't think I would like mentally be like ready for the state so that's hard for me because you know that's where I live, you know, and so it's hard for me to be like, uh, you stretch yourself too thin just to come hang out with me like I'm so exhausting exactly, those were like the types of things that would be in my head but, I could see how like he's like.
Speaker 1:I want to be well for this day and I really want to be my best yeah, yeah so yeah, like that's probably better, not gonna lie.
Speaker 2:It kind of gave me the ick again, like I was just like ew, you're stretched too thin. Like you just can't be bothered to like come have dinner, like you're gonna eat dinner at home. He just wants to eat what's on his list just pretend that it's fine, just can you also, it doesn't have to be like this long drawn out date, like we could just see each other, because the thing is he knew I was leaving for Hawaii. That next.
Speaker 1:At that point, could he had said he just come over and have sex? Uh, probably, or not. Yet the thing is.
Speaker 2:I feel like we were like really going into this like date, date.
Speaker 1:This was not like so you were like more, like I gotta hold off on the sex because it's gonna be like a relationship probably yeah, I want to like really get to know each other. But yeah, he could have just been like well, why don't we just meet for a drink?
Speaker 2:it could have been something. Well, he doesn't drink coffee yeah exactly, see it makes it difficult.
Speaker 1:Can he have a mocktail?
Speaker 2:yeah. So here's the thing too uh with him. He never has drank alcohol, because so his dad, whatever, yeah so it's fine. I think it would be fine for me to drink with him. I think it's okay, whereas this other guy, he is like a recovering alcoholic, so I was like I mean, I wouldn't drink alcohol around you.
Speaker 1:That's like yeah, because you know, both my brothers are sober. You know, I I hate the word sober a little bit because I feel like it has a negative connotation Like you're, like you were alcoholic or something like that I think I go.
Speaker 2:is it different Did?
Speaker 1:you not say that I don't really know.
Speaker 2:So let us know if there's a difference, because so, on, bumble, when you put your like level of drinking or whatever it'll say, like level of drugs. Yeah, put your like level of drinking or whatever it'll say, like level of drugs. Yeah, your level of drug use. Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, it's like there's an option for sober or there's an option for does not drink yeah so to me the word sober, yes it.
Speaker 1:To me it means like, like you're recovering, yeah so both my brothers don't drink um and they like to have mocktails. So when we go out and because they're like, well, I want to taste something fun and like you know all the kind of, so they always like have a mocktail. So I feel like if you were to date someone at least like you have a mocktail something. Yeah, just because it's like when you go out to dinner and then one person's like I'm not gonna eat, oh god, that'd be so awful. I would be, I would literally get up this where I'd be like a brat, like your mom. I'd go fuck it. We're not having dinner, let's go. I'm not sitting, this is not fun. Like I'm not going to sit here and you watch me eat.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:This isn't fun. I don't want to do this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why are we here?
Speaker 1:Let's go, yeah, yeah, so it's just a little rough out here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, so then okay. So I keep interrupting. No, no, you're fine. Uh, also, I feel like this whole episode is just me rambling on. So, um, yeah, so okay so I'm like I'm leaving yeah, you're like, I'm gonna, you're going to hawaii, I'm going to hawaii so we. Our date was on saturday, then sunday. When is when? He was stretched too thin?
Speaker 1:and then dang it okay.
Speaker 2:And then I was living in Hawaii on Friday and so he knew that and so we, he wanted to hang out the next weekend, but I was like I'm gonna be gone and I'm gonna be gone for like eight days or whatever. And so he's like I don't want to wait that long and um, bless you apparently our producer also.
Speaker 1:Your stories are interesting thanks. And the thing is, you were gone for like two weekends in a row, mm-hmm yeah which kind of messes up for you.
Speaker 2:Well, and you know, with the way that he is like, I'm like I'll go on a date any day of the week, like, oh, are you free wednesday?
Speaker 2:or whatever, I don't give a fuck. Well, he's just like, he has his routine, you know. So he doesn't really want to fuck with his weekday routine and so it was kind of rough for him. So he's like, well, maybe we could do something thursday before you leave. Okay, great, so we're gonna do something thursday night. He said I'll look up some places for us to go and I will send them to you and you could like if you want to live he lives in Sacramento, okay, and so I was like, okay, sounds great.
Speaker 2:So he's texting me every day Monday, tuesday, wednesday, then Thursday comes. I'm not really hearing from him, okay, oh wait, sorry. Wednesday night he sent me a long text uh, why do I have to send these?
Speaker 1:I mean, I, brianna, is a long texter, okay let me tell you. I've never seen someone text so long. Drew looks at he goes. Don't even fucking read that.
Speaker 2:I guess I just have to over communicate. I know and anyway.
Speaker 1:So yeah, said he's over community, just like you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like he'll send me these long text and I send a long text back, whatever. So he sends me this long thing Wednesday, but I was already asleep. So Thursday morning early morning I respond you know, similar length tags and it's just like it, like it wasn't. It was just kind of like about our day and like whatever. Um, so I was like, yeah, like that's the night we're supposed to hang out, that this is Thursday morning when I'm responding, and then I don't hear anything for like hours and I'm just like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:And then I kind of was getting stressed because I had to leave the next day. I had all this shit going on, and so that I felt like I was stretched thin and I was like, oh god, should I just say that I can't go? And I was so I don't even know when you're prepping for a trip to leave. That's a lot, oh my god. And I think I was worried because I'm taking, uh, my son's friend and they were so worried, the parents were so worried they'd never let him go anywhere before, and so I don't know, I was just stressed about so much stuff and I so I'd sent another text saying like I don't know if I can make it tonight. I'm so sorry and I kind of it was a long one because I was explaining and I felt like I needed to explain and he still didn't respond, and so then now we're like it's like 3 pm, haven't heard from him the whole fucking day and we're supposed to be hanging out that night.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't really like that too. Like shoot me a text. Like hey, I'm busy, I can't respond to your text right now. I think some people they just like I can't respond to all of this, so then they just don't respond.
Speaker 2:At all, and I I hate that too. Say something, say something, and then like an hour later, because I'm a fucking psycho, I text him again. Oh my God, a third text. I am so embarrassed, so.
Speaker 1:I text him again, I immediately press unsend. Fuck this, if you, you know, we there should be like a feature where, like, if the person hasn't responded in, like whatever, you should be able to unsend it. It just deletes. Yeah, because I can't deal with that. It like blows up. Yeah, it's a ticking time bomb.
Speaker 2:The whole phone just blows up yeah, no-transcript. God disregard the last text. So I was like, never mind, I got all my shit done, I can hang out tonight. Let me know where you want to meet. Another hour goes by and so I I'm like fuck this guy, like. So he finally texts me all he says after my long two texts and he just says hey, first of all he said hey, brianna, which he never you know. I hate that too.
Speaker 1:I know you're talking to me. You don't have to put my name in the text. Yeah, it's going to something like funny Like yeah, Brianna, what are you doing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, first. First of all, he does, hey, brianna, which he never texts me like that.
Speaker 2:Hey, brianna, after you sent that text this morning about or earlier about not being able to hang out, I like some locked in something at work or something like that, and he was like hope you have fun on. I hope you have a lot of fun on your trip with your family.
Speaker 1:Go fuck yourself. That's it.
Speaker 2:That's all he said. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, after all of that, and I'm stressed out and I'm sending you these texts and then I'm unsending texts.
Speaker 1:Just be considerate, Even though I'm crazy like just be considerate to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And so I was like you can't just and like, oh, I'm sorry. And in my text the long, the second text that was long where I said I couldn't hang out, I included in there like I said, would you like me back? And I said, do you like let's make plans for that weekend? Let me know if you want to do that. So when he responds and is just like hope you have fun, on your trip Doesn't say anything about like he doesn't want to hang out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, no, he's just like. I don't understand how we went from the date saturday to having like he's texting me after he invites me on a date sunday, then he blows me off, then all week he's texting me, and then that it just was weird and then never heard from him again, because I I wrote him back just like I said okay, no problem, no emoji, nothing, yeah go fuck yourself. That, basically, is the go fuck yourself in the dating world.
Speaker 2:Okay, no problem Okay, no problem. Period Put a period at the end.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go have a drink.
Speaker 2:With a tall guy with hair.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Who doesn't have a fucking cat?
Speaker 1:Or a regimen. He doesn't work out.
Speaker 2:He doesn't have a fucking cat or a regimen. He doesn't work out. He's actually fat. Okay, I like them. I was so pissed off and I went to hawaii pissed oh no, because you know I can't let you go. I know, and I was so excited about this stupid guy.
Speaker 1:You were really excited. I mean you were telling us and you know I kept thinking why is she excited about this guy? Like I just don't really know what it was, because he's not that great-looking and that's all you like, kind of.
Speaker 2:But it must have been the feeling on the date huh and the way he like messages and we talk on the phone or facetiming, and it's just like I was like man and and I think also, I mean I had not had a good date in a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, jesus so yeah, you haven't heard from him, though that's it.
Speaker 2:That's it and you know. You go on your app and we're still on there, like we're still he's in my matches and you could unmatch people, but I like to be petty and not unmatch them, because I want them to log in and see my fucking face every time they go on the app. Yeah, see, with photos from Hawaii.
Speaker 1:I would leave him a review.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wish I could yeah.
Speaker 1:You should be able to leave reviews. Just send it to him.
Speaker 2:I looked into leaving you a review on Bumble, but there was no way, so I'm going to send it to you.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to give you a little bit of feedback on how you acted in our interactions. Then just say everything.
Speaker 2:Because at that point who cares? Yeah, I think it'd be fun. There is times where I want to do that, or I want to just say like, hey, so what the fuck happened there? Yes yes, like, can you explain? Yeah, and who cares.
Speaker 1:You'd like your feedback.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it yeah, well it's been a great episode yeah, this wasn't not at all what we were going to talk about but dating life is fun and real it's. I mean, it's real. I don't know, it's not always fun, but it is real. It's something, it's happening. Yeah, so I'm doing my best, doing my best. Guys, yeah, you'll be okay, but send uh. Send any single guys my way, preferably age 35 through 42, over 5'8, without a cat because she's allergic, but she doesn't want to admit it.
Speaker 1:It's so weird. She just wants to hold it and be with it and I just love them actually without a dog too probably uh, and preferably no children, and is like has a vasectomy. I mean, you have birth control. Yeah, you know, take it out.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, not a vasectomy, but you don't want to have kids?
Speaker 1:yeah, because in that 30 range, men could still they all want to have 40 they, some guys yeah, they'll be.
Speaker 2:They'll be fools on there. They're like 47.
Speaker 1:And they want to have kids still and they'll be like want to have kids.
Speaker 2:And then the relationship thing says, like unsure, I'm like fool. You're 47 years old and you're still not sure what you're looking for.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing, and you want to have kids If it's 47,. If you're 47, I know You're going to be funny If you're 47 and you want to have a kid, then you better be able to take care of me, because now I can't work. So, it's not a point where it's like, oh well, you should be able to take care of yourself and all that stuff, but at that point I have to go on maternity leave and I'm old, I want to stay home with my kid, probably for a long time.
Speaker 2:So now home with my kid, probably for a long time. So now you do have to be able to take care of me, yeah you better be rich, yeah, or at least make some kind of good income. Yeah, yeah, it's a tough. It's a tough one. I don't know how we got here, but so I don't know either. But I'm just really tired of being just this. You know, underappreciated, high value woman all right.
Speaker 2:Well, that's where we are, that's where we're at and that's just how I feel. Okay, so if you got any good leads, send them my way. I will do the follow-ups on my own also tell us about your weird dating things tell us yeah, I go fun, I love it.
Speaker 1:I want to like read them to people yes, yeah yeah, yeah, oh, so good, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, so good, okay, okay, I think we're done this is so long. Yeah, I know, okay, sorry guys.
Speaker 2:Sorry, guys, let us know if you like this episode, leave us a review please. Yeah, send us a review on our Instagram at maximalistlifepodcast and we'll see you guys next time.
Speaker 1:Hope you're having fun. Pits up, sticks out.