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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 25 - Travel, Tensions, and Turning Controversy into Conversation
Episode Summary:
Brianna and Tamika dive into travel stories, cultural reflections, and some deep community convos that started as vacation fun but quickly turned into real talks about race and inclusion.
🎢 Tamika spills the tea on her VIP experience at Disneyland with the exclusive “plaid tour” service, which costs $700/hour with a minimum of six hours. Yup, that kind of luxury.
💸 The perks of splurging on those premium experiences – when it actually makes your vacation way more relaxed and enjoyable.
🌸 Brianna takes us through her trip to Charleston, South Carolina, and the ethical dilemmas that shaped their travel choices.
🚫 Why they opted not to visit plantation tourism sites, feeling uneasy about the commercialization of places built on slavery.
🌍 How moving between diverse and homogenous communities changes your comfort zone and perception of the world around you.
⚡️ Their personal experiences with racial tensions in schools, including seeing Confederate flags in school parking lots.
🗣 Turning a social media controversy involving racial slurs into real-life community dialogue sessions.
👶 Why it’s crucial to actively talk to kids about racism instead of assuming that silence = anti-racism.
🎤 Giving young people a platform to share their own perspectives on race and inclusion. Because their voices matter!
Stay Connected:
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🎙️ Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify – it helps us so much!
Welcome to maximalist life. I'm your host, friana, and I'm Tamika, and I want to talk about making friends as an adult, because that blows.
Speaker 2:Wait, can we talk about some other stuff first? Yeah, what have you been doing? I don't know, but today I'm a cowgirl. I really like your outfit.
Speaker 1:And it also has like a really summery vibe.
Speaker 2:I know because I was like, oh, should I be wearing shorts yet in our things? Because and I'm wearing long sleeve? Yeah, because we're like in these environments where really we could wear whatever we want, yeah. And so it's like, all right, I'm going for the shorts. I mean, I did look up the weather it's supposed to be warm today yeah, I mean I'm pretty lucky with the weather where we live.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's pretty nice yeah, um, I, you know, um, I went to disneyland last week and or I don't know, a couple weeks ago, whatever, yeah, and the weather was kind of chilly in la, which I was expecting to be 80, because I wanted to like wear these cute outfits and instead you have to wear like a hoodie and stuff. But I did like matching outfits with drew and I, of course, of course, and rihanna, so I feel like that was like cute, um, so we went to disneyland and I hadn't been since 2020.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's been a long time I haven't been since 2017, damn you gotta go.
Speaker 2:It's so fucking fun. I just love it. I always have loved it. I don't know why I like running around crazy and like riding all the rides and eating all the churros and the dole whips I want to go with bentley now that he's older.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I want to go like just me and him and just like just do everything so fun yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2:It is so fucking expensive though. Oh yeah, I bet. Yeah, it's so expensive, so we did this. Uh, I can't plaid vip tours, that's what it's called and basically you have the person I mean you've seen this like kim kardashian gets it. You see him like. They have the person like in plaid. I mean you see celebrities they're walking around and stuff and they have like the little plaid vest on and the people take them everywhere and you go in the front of every line and even if they don't have like the lightning lane, they just will take you through the exit and you get, and you get to cut everyone and they plan out your day for you. I think the best part for me was they you'll be like, hey, I want to get a dole whip, and then they'll be like, okay, when you're on the ride, I'll get it. I'll just have it ready for you when you get off the ride I'll have your fucking churro ready for you.
Speaker 2:I'll have whatever you want.
Speaker 2:So that's what being a celebrity is like yeah, we're rich at disneyland, or rich, which I am not. I have a family member that really loves us and loves to take us nice places because, yeah, you know when you, so you email them and it costs $700 an hour. Chump change Minimum six hours, okay, okay. But I saw this lady on there. She posted like this TikTok, breaking down all the numbers, like, if you do this for one day, because then you don't have to pay for a hotel for three days and then you get, you could ride all the rides and get all the food in all this one day, it breaks down to not be that much more and maybe not even more over the span of your whole trip.
Speaker 2:Like if you just went to disneyland and you did like two nights, one day at both the parks and or you did it for two days or whatever and you just did the minimum two. I mean you literally could ride every single ride in that minimum and multiple times, and then on top of that they give you two fast passes to that could go to anywhere you want when you're like done with them in the part in both the parks, so you really could do whatever you want. And they give you vip seating at like if you want to see the fireworks or the world of color, like you don't have to go there at a specific time, just like before you start.
Speaker 1:You have this section that's just for you, that you just show them and you're like okay, go ahead so you have to waste a bunch of your time like you're not wasting time in lines, you're not wasting time like getting there fucking two hours before the parade to get a good seat, and things like that. No.
Speaker 2:And then you could literally probably do it in one day instead of a span of three days, and then just be done with it, yeah, and then not have your feet hurt so much at the second and third day, like it's like you're dying. Your feet are swollen, yeah. So we did go three days, yeah, of course, speaking of but we only did the plaid, and I had never stayed at the California Adventure either. We stayed in a suite there. I told you we're really spoiled. We're very fortunate, but the girls had a really good time and Drew and I it was really chill. It was probably the chillest Disneyland trip that we've ever had.
Speaker 2:First of all, there's only six of us and usually we will run 30 deep to Disneyland easily. Hell of fun running around. The kids are going crazy stressful. Uh yeah, which I like you know.
Speaker 1:That's the environment that I thrive in, you know and I I just I fucking love it.
Speaker 2:So it was really, really fun and we had like at the end of the night we would just be in our room drinking wine.
Speaker 1:What relaxing you know well, and the kids are like older too, so it's probably a little bit. You're not like bringing out like dragon toddlers around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would never want to do that. Yeah, I would never want to do that. And you know, I don't even know if the kids realize, like we're doing disneyland differently because, like, this is like how they think, like, oh, the lady just takes you around, oh my god, yeah, oh she's gonna take you to the exit, it's no problem.
Speaker 1:They're like telling their friends like wait, what was your plaid lady's name? Yeah, yeah, I don't have. I didn't have a lady. What? Yeah, you just cut all the lines. It's fucked up. But although I.
Speaker 2:So they have the plaid, but they do have, like, the genie pass. You could pay three hundred dollars a day per person, which, yes, it seems like a lot, but and you go, same thing. You're in the front of every line, you just don't have a person. You don't have a person, but you get the. It says like anywhere there's a lightning lane. You I mean you have to get them one after the other, but still it's 300 bucks a person a day, a day, and I wouldn't say that the person is that much better, like if I just had her little card, because she just swipes her card for us and then we all go through, like I think I would use, because then I don't feel bad, like, oh, I want to go on this one more time. I just fucking go on it one more time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know. So I do think that, like that is more feasible. I mean, do you really need the lady taking you everywhere? Yeah, but she does tell you, like disney history and she like so like we. She took us on rides that we would never go on, like I didn't even think to go on to on the new mickey has, like a mickey's runaway train ride. It's so fucking fun and it's really cute and I would not have gone on that one, yeah and I was like oh, I love this one.
Speaker 2:But I like all the little kid rides too, like I like the little mermaid one and like all those like I think that's part of the experience. It doesn't have to be like, oh, we're going on guardians only. Or we're going like, yeah, those are fun, but I want to like do all the Disney things you know, yeah, yeah, plus I like going on little ones because it just brings me back to like when I went there, I was like a little kid and I'm like, oh my gosh, this used to be my favorite ride.
Speaker 1:My favorite ride when I was a kid was the Dumbo ride.
Speaker 2:I love that thing that's a good one.
Speaker 1:It was flying up and down just in a freaking elephant. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I loved it so much yeah, so yeah, that's what I did.
Speaker 2:It was fun. We went for three days. It sounds awesome and we wore like matching outfits and all that kind of stuff that's so cute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't even know that that was a thing the plaid thing, mostly the celebrities.
Speaker 2:I mean, I asked the lady to like oh, have you, like you know, toured celebrities? And she was like, yeah, like I used to do that all the time. Like you make a profile, they pick you because you want, and when I went on tiktok to look up like, oh, like, how to utilize them as more, or whatever, it would say like, oh, my guy's name was this, so I think you can, you can request and you can. It'd be like, oh, this lady is the best ball boy, like they. But like the patience that these people have. I mean, they're holding their kid, the kids hands. You know, I fucking hate kids. Like I'm not trying to hold your kids hand. No, come on, of course, you know. Like they're just like so nice. Or I was like, hey, we were thinking to go in the other park, that's a great idea.
Speaker 2:I'm like, is it? Yeah, you know. And I'm just like, okay, thanks, you know, they're just so fucking nice. I mean also like you know how, like when you go right on the ride you just put all your shit like on the other side or whatever, and then you just come get it. She gathered all like backpacks, drinks, everything, and she was like just carrying it and then she'd be like, okay, see you on the other side. And then she'd be like here's your backpack and here's your churro and here's your dole whip and like just have everything. She's like the bag lady, she's mary poppins walking around there. So that sounds, you know.
Speaker 2:She was a really nice lady, but yeah, she did say she'd do celebrity, she would like have her profile for celebrities before, but she said it was really tough. Like so with the celebrities, they go through the back stages. She said like they can't just go through the lightning lane, like with the regular peasants peasants, you know. So she was like it's really hard and then like you tip them out at the end, which is like I had to google. Like are you supposed to tip them?
Speaker 2:like what you're supposed to do what's like correct tipping. So, on top of whatever disney makes her, it says like you tip like almost like a hundred dollars per person additional. Oh shit, so it's like that. And then so she said like you know, they're the celebrities were just so high maintenance and I go, I bet yeah yeah, they want you to, and then you have to, like be on with us.
Speaker 2:I mean, for us we're chill, we're just like. You don't really even have to talk to us much. You don't really have to, you know it's just like you do whatever you want, it's fine. It's not a big deal, so yeah, yeah so that was cool.
Speaker 1:Do that job. Uh, you would be great at that job, no, I would hate that.
Speaker 2:I feel like you would be so good at that job.
Speaker 1:You would have all this information, yeah you would just tell them all the things, and then you'd be like, yeah, give me your stuff, and then I'll wait right here for you yeah, yeah, I think I wouldn't like it, because the people, like they tell you what they want to do and I was like kind of I don't know, but I would like.
Speaker 2:You would like make suggestions and plan out their whole day. I feel like you could do that. What would be?
Speaker 1:your okay. Okay, tell me what would be a job that you would love to have. It can't be something you currently do have ever done before. Whatever and like and money doesn't matter. You know these questions always are like if money wasn't back there, like and like whatever little, like just the fun parts of the job. Like what job would it be?
Speaker 2:I mean it's hard because I feel like in my life I've kind of do these things. We were just talking about this. On vacation is I think I could be someone's executive assistant.
Speaker 1:Okay, I know I'd be a great executive assistant too. I think I would. I would kill it at that oh, I can plan some shit.
Speaker 2:I can keep someone's fucking calendar. The only thing drew is like yeah, but you have to write emails, babe, and I go.
Speaker 1:I know, because I'm really bad, but I said I could.
Speaker 2:I said I could chat, gpt anything. Now, yeah, anything, just throw it in there whatever I want to say. So I think I could do executive assisting also, because I know hella little things, yeah, about a lot of shit. Yeah, like you're like, oh, go find me this hermes scarf at this Hermes place and I'll be able to look up all of them. I know what the fuck you're talking about. Like, I know little tiny things about a lot of things.
Speaker 1:So I, but that would be Like if it was a job for pure fun, I don't know, I don't know what would yours be? I think I would love to be the activities director on a cruise ship. Okay, I would love that, because so the last cruise I went on, this lady she was like from Ireland and so of course she had like a cool accent, yeah, and she's the director of all the activities, like all the fun shit. So like on cruises they do these like game shows, yeah, and so they do these like game shows, yeah, and so they do these game shows and they pull people from the audience, and so she's like hosting game shows, but then also the they do these random like performances, and so she's like kind of leading the performance.
Speaker 1:So there's all these other, like activities, people, and they're doing like dances and doing all this shit and like I'm like, oh my god, I would love this job because you're just like performing and you're doing like all these fun things and putting together like like an itinerary of things that you think that people would like to do when they're not eating dinner or like yeah you know, it just gives you things to do on the cruise ship that yeah, when you're not like at your port or whatever, but I think that would be fun.
Speaker 1:I mean, of course, yeah, it would suck to like be on the ocean for eight months at a time, but like we're just talking about the fun part of the job. That's it, and not money I can't think of it. You know, I can't think of anything specific.
Speaker 2:I think I could do a lot of jobs and I would feel like happy like I could, if we didn't have, if it wasn't a money thing, like I also think like doing like corporate plant party planning, you know, or retreats and stuff like that, like when drew um won that uh president's club and we had to go to like whatever, wherever we were going. But they go beforehand. They decide like what they're gonna do each night, what like they? Like one of them they had like these Cuban cigar rollers, you know, and then these bags where the ladies were there embroidering the bags. Like I could plan that, like I could plan food, like I think planning for me I could probably go into any kind of environment and just be okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:And thrive in those situations.
Speaker 1:I could see that Mm-hmm For sure. Well, that sounds really fun.
Speaker 2:But for fun, I don't know, and you went on your trip. I did, I did.
Speaker 1:I just got back. Well, a couple weeks ago I went to Charleston, south Carolina fun with my mom. So it was one of those places you know are you, you have places like you want to travel and so in the United States I feel like there's not that too many places. I really am like, oh yeah, I really want to go there there's like a handful of places that, like I haven't been yet, I'm like yeah, I think I might have three places on my list yeah yeah, I got like New Orleans.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't want to go there, uh.
Speaker 1:Miami. I want to go there. Um, you said I think did you say Nashville last time we talked about it?
Speaker 2:Nashville. I could take or leave it. I have been there. My thing is, I think that I want to go to these places and then I don't like them. I don't think that you would like Nashville very much, but there's things to do. Like I think that that's to go to these places and then I don't like them. I don't think that you would like Nashville very much, but there's things to do Like I think that that's what's fun. Like I like walking in downtown areas and like you know, I think that about going to Texas too. Like they have like that music festival South by South or West, whatever.
Speaker 1:South by Southwest, yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that would be cool because like something to do and then they kind of have like this downtown I don't want to do the river thing or whatever, like that's not really my jam, is really boring. Yeah, like, I feel like if there's a cool downtown area, I always like fun stuff like that. You know, I want to go shopping and doing stuff like that the only reason.
Speaker 1:So I think because nashville it is like that and there's fun yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that it's all.
Speaker 1:So this whole area where there's people and there's like that's where, like the crowds are and things, I mean it is just straight country music the whole time.
Speaker 2:You don't really like. I don't really know any country, yeah and it's all just.
Speaker 1:It's another one of those places you go visit and it is primarily white people. It's a which.
Speaker 2:That's how, chareston, south Carolina right, right, right, right, right so.
Speaker 1:I mean I wanted to go there because I was like this place looks really pretty. It's also like near the coast, of course a totally different coast than where we live and so I was like I want to go to like a beach there and see how that is. I want to go to like all the little pastel houses and stuff like that. So it was my mom's birthday and she had spring break. She's a teacher, so she was on spring break, so we went for that week and it was interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I told Drew that you were going and well, he was like, oh, where's Brianna? And you were watching my dog. Yeah, yeah, and he was like, where is she going? And I go, oh, she's going to Charleston. And he was like, why? And I go, I, she just wants to go. You know, that's what? And I think, like people have fun at different places, I don't know right. Yeah, I know that that place is like cutesy, like shops downtown, like I think that's like.
Speaker 1:It's like a normal place that people are like yeah, yeah and I was like why or whatever?
Speaker 2:and he so his company that he used to work for is based out of there, so he would travel there and stuff. And he was like it's very much giving slave owner vibes. It did, it did yeah, it did. He's like it's gives and he goes. It actually creeps me out and I'll and as a black man I can understand that. Maybe that's how you would feel yeah.
Speaker 1:So when we were there, obviously like. So there was all these things I wanted to like. I wanted to go all these bookstores. Like I said, I wanted to see all the pastels that's the type of shit that I love. Yeah, you know the bookstores and stuff yeah and I.
Speaker 1:There was these different things I wanted to do, um, but, of course, like, the main thing that the places are kind of pushing you to do is to visit the plantations fun and you know, and of course they're showing in there, they have beautiful gardens and all this stuff.
Speaker 1:You know, it's just like these really really gorgeous like grounds to visit and stuff. So my mom and I discussed it for a minute and we were kind of like we both were being like a little weird, like did you want to go? I don't know want to go, I don't know? Um, and we were like is it racist if you go to a plantation, or I don't know why I'm like I'm just getting this weird vibe.
Speaker 2:It makes you feel something and I feel when you go places, you shouldn't feel like a weird thing, right, yeah?
Speaker 1:so we were kind of like, well, we have, if we have to question it, then we probably shouldn't go. And so to me it was more like it made me uncomfortable that it was a place that so you had to pay, so you had to pay to go. They're profiting. It was like a for-profit thing and I was like I, I felt weird about that, like I understand if it's a historic, historic museum and you can go there for free or it's like donation based, and then you're just learning about the history and stuff, which is what I wanted to do.
Speaker 1:But then I don't know, it just kind of came off like this and the way that they promoted it just I don't I felt a little bit weird about.
Speaker 2:So we didn't end up going to any plantations it's weird because you know, even so, I'll say it because it's not like really like a racist thing. It's like 9-11, the 9-11 memorial when you go to New York. I mean I went there, I've been there multiple times, but I don't really. I know the history in it, I know what's going on in that. I mean I don't know if they're making profit or not, when you're Not, when you actually just see the actual memorial you know, and they sell things.
Speaker 2:But I don't know, and it's just so kind of sad, it's like, it's like and you're just like, and it's so sad, so like I could see how, like going to these plantations, they want you to like, oh, these are these beautiful views and this is. But then you're like but who worked on this thing?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I don't want to go there, and it's not something where I'm like oh, I want to go there and take some cool instagram photos. You know what what I mean?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, they were like kind of canceling people that were like getting married on these plantations. They were like talking about, like how these people are just like going to have their weddings here where they were just slaves, and they still do, and they still do.
Speaker 1:People still do that and so I don't know. I just was like for yourself.
Speaker 2:you're like I'm not going to do this, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then um, one of the things my mom really wanted to do was those horses, those horse drawn carriages.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cute.
Speaker 1:And in my head I'm picturing, you know, on Gilmore girls. They have like the horse drawn carriages, the Christmas thing, whatever, and they're just like, oh, they're just sitting in their little carriage and whatever. And so we get there and I see and they're everywhere, there's these horse-drawn carriages everywhere and most of them were carrying. They had a carriage with like 12 to 16 people in it for one horse. Yeah, and I'm like this is slavery also. I felt so bad for the horse and I'm like I'm mom, I can't I yeah, it's animal abuse it just felt so wrong.
Speaker 1:I'm like this is not what I had in mind for this whole I always wanted to do those in central park every time we went and they only are doing two.
Speaker 2:But then we watch something saying like how bad it is for the horse and stuff and I just can't like just the same reason why we don't go to sea world yeah we don't like do any of that shit. We don't really go to zoos anymore, like we've just, as a family, kind of taken a stand on like I mean, I know there are sanctuaries and stuff like that, but like I just don't, I can't subscribe to that.
Speaker 2:What we did do, though, was, instead of like going to what is it called now, six flags and you can see that yeah we went out to the one and there's like a place in seattle that you could go and just go into the live water and then they're just pods of orcas out there, it's the most magical thing I've ever seen in my entire fucking life. Yeah, damn. So it's like you got to find ways like that. But yeah, and if you went to like a plantation museum where you were learning, maybe that would make you feel better, For sure even different yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah so, and you know it was supposed to just be this like fun little trip. It didn't need to be that deep. You know I was like let's just. But it was a cute downtown, yeah, so cute. We did stay. We stayed in. My aunt was so confused because she's like, isn't that in New Orleans? And so it is, but it's also called the French Quarter there, and so that's kind of where all the main things are and they have like cobblestone streets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, cute and just like all these, like every street is like lined with palm trees, it's just so adorable, like everything's so quaint, and we went to this really cute bookstore called Sweeter Than Fiction and it was so cute because I saw it on tiktok, and so we went there and then that's where I got.
Speaker 1:I got like a little taylor swift cup and then I got you one, that's like so cute so cute and they had so much stuff that I wanted to buy but I had to calm down a little bit. And then the other thing, I would say my favorite thing that we did we took a candle making class at this place called Candle Fish. They have one in Charleston and they also have a location in Boston. It was really cool, like you learned a lot about, because I'm like, okay, candle making class like sounds fun, but also like sounds like it could be boring. And so what I liked about it is they have a store it's like a, a store where they're actually selling their own candles and they have this whole huge wall with like a ladder, kind of like for a library ladder, that kind of on the wheels, you know, yeah they go to get the candles, and what's cool about their candles is they don't have names, they only have numbers.
Speaker 1:And so there's a hundred different candles and they just have numbers, one through a hundred, and they're, and they're all the same color, they're all just white, and the reason is because the owner didn't want people like it's like he doesn't want them. He thinks you have this like predetermined idea of what if it's called something, yeah, like, and so he wanted you to be able to just kind of like come and like experience this whole candle I like it whatever so it's kind of neat.
Speaker 1:And so when we did the candle making class you got to, you got to do this blind like uh, sniff test about, and when I say blind is again it doesn't have. It doesn't tell you what the scent is. You could look on the back and see, but like you're supposed to just go and write the numbers of the ones you liked, and so you got to pick what scent you wanted to make your candle and, and then I did. There was like a little station where you could take different scents and combine them to make your own. So I did do that and you got to make two candles, whatever. So she's like telling you all this stuff about candle making and whatever. So it was really a really fun experience and they had so much cute stuff and so we bought like tons of stuff. So that was my favorite thing. We went to Foley beach, which is a really pretty beach and they also have like the pastel homes kind of like on the cute silts.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, and it was just really like it was just a chill trip. My mom is not a traveler by any means of the word, so and she's that she doesn't drink, so like there were some cool distilleries and things I wanted to go to, but I mean she doesn't drink it. So I was like, well, she just drinks like black coffee, so we're not going to like some. She doesn't care about going like cute coffee shops. So it was like the bookstores. We went to like a few different bookstores, um, but that, the beach, the candle making and then just walking up and down the streets, going in little boutiques and stuff. That was like really fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that was. It was a fun time. Good, I liked it.
Speaker 2:You'll go back, no, I think it was a one and done. You would recommend it to a friend or family member. Hmm, if they're white, I'm just kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm just kidding, it was all white people too yeah, all the brads and chads are there with the boat shoes, right with the vidyard, collared shirts and outfits, yeah and everyone just wears what's it called lily pulitzer?
Speaker 2:lily pulitzer, that's how it was because Drew's company is from there when we had to do these company things. Literally, we're like the only brown people, there's one other, there's two other black guys, I mean out of like 85 of us, yeah, no other Asians or Puerto Ricans, of course, that are going to be there. And so you feel I don't know if people understand that feeling, that like when you go to places and I understand, like why people go, why does it matter? And I understand, like white people go, well, why does it matter? And I'm like, okay, you go to a place where it's all black people or black people, and you tell me and you live in that environment, and you tell me how you feel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're telling me it's not that you feel like it's not, it's just a noticing kind of thing. Yeah, sometimes you're going to feel uncomfortable, but it's just like you notice it, notice it you, you could see it and you could think that they're judging you or you could think that they're you're beneath them or whatever it is. Yeah, you know, and I don't really like that feeling. Yeah, yeah, so it's just like sometimes when we go places and it is all just one kind of people, it feels weird sometimes yeah, for sure yeah, I think, uh, I don't know.
Speaker 1:It reminded me of every time I visit home and I go to Utah and everyone's just white.
Speaker 2:Yeah, white and blonde yeah yeah, got them German jeans real, real tight, yeah, real in there, really ingrained in there.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's just kind of yeah, it's just a weird thing. And when it's, you know, when you live in California, we live like near the Bay Area, so we're used to living in like this melting pot. So I'm just like not super used to being in places where it's just all white people, unless I'm in Utah and then it feels normal.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, when I go to places like that, I'm like, oh, it's just interesting, it's just an interesting vibe just kind of different and, like you know, and I don't feel, and I am white, like I don't feel uncomfortable or I don't feel whatever it's, just like I notice it because I'm used to being in, you know, a society here in california where that isn't how it is I mean you're white presenting yeah, yeah because I mean, here's the thing you, I think you cannot feel like you don't know what your subconscious, because you are puerto rican, could actually feel in your body.
Speaker 1:That is different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, yeah, so yes as a white percent presenting lady yeah, but you are half Puerto Rican, yeah.
Speaker 1:So like no, a quarter, a quarter, a quarter yeah. So who knows, yeah, yeah so you know thing yeah so far off the topics I was going to say you know, we were going to talk about making friends, but maybe we're not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe we're going to go into something else Like, yeah, vacationing in different places, vacations and racism yeah, is what we're going to talk about today. Fun, fun, fun. Yeah, it's so interesting, I mean. I mean I don't care if we go off this topic too, and we'll circle back to that topic another time, but yeah, it is interesting.
Speaker 1:So when we moved to Utah okay, so we moved to Utah right after high school my sister was in seventh grade, or just finished seventh grade, so she was going into eighth grade when we got there. So anyone who doesn't know, like my sister, she's my half-sister, so we have the same mom, different dads, so she's half black. So when we were there and you go to Utah and she's pretty brown.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's not white presenting no she isn't like one of those girls where you're like maybe she's black.
Speaker 1:I mean, she very much looks black, she's black, yeah, and has like the curly hair and whatever, and so she had a difficult time and I mean I even remember there was there were only two other black girls in her high school and she was like trying to be friends with them.
Speaker 1:They were twins and this is, they were sisters and so she was like just trying to be friends with them and it was interesting, like they came to her house and my mom was I remember my mom being like these girls just don't even seem like the kind of people you would be friends with, like their personality wise. She was like it's weird that you're friends with them. You don't seem like you have anything like in common with, like what you guys like to do. And she was just like, yeah, I mean, this is the only other black people at my school and it was just like she just was like you kind of tend to flock towards people that are similar to or look like you, you know, and so it was just such a interesting lens to look through for, like seeing my sister going through that, like moving from again from California, and it's just not weird to be half black here and then you move to somewhere like utah where not only is everyone white, but also they're all mormon. So that's another layer.
Speaker 1:So having different dads, like having siblings who have different dads was also kind of a weird thing. Like it was a little out of place where they're like how come you don't look like your sister? Like not only are you black, but how come your sister isn't Right and your mom's?
Speaker 2:not, which makes her just more of the black sheep of the family and my mom was a single mom, so she's like not with either of our dads.
Speaker 1:It was just like a cluster. It was like okay, moving to a Mormon town is not the move. Yeah, so I don't know. It's just interesting when you, when people say stuff like how, you're saying, like sometimes white people be like oh, why does it matter? Or like I don't see color.
Speaker 2:when people say that, I'm like uh, yeah, so you know, I have two black children, very black presenting, and you know, sometimes I don't think about it, but I do live in a black home. Like I think about, I thought about that later on. Like you know, the majority of our house, they are three black people, but we would say, like in our house it's very much black and filipino. That's like very much the culture that we are is the filipino or whatever, and I think maybe now our filipino outweighs, because and rihanna, and stuff.
Speaker 1:But you know, with outweighs because Bonet and Rihanna and stuff.
Speaker 2:But you know, with my kids I think I said this on the first episode with my kids growing up in Vacaville they very much faced a lot of racism at Vacahy and they very much in the beginning to me. It would tell me all the time and I just kind of like, yeah, I know, I mean, here's the thing, you're going to face it regardless. So we just got to get through it and then when it got to a point where we it got to brit, then she always goes you didn't believe me and then brit your baby, then you stepped up to say something you know. But I think you know they would go to school and hear these little white kids saying the n-word all the time and they would go to school and I know that a lot of people don't want to hear this but our vacca high school, their big old trucks would be lined with confederate flags lining the school and let's be honest, let's.
Speaker 2:Let's be honest with you. Black kids feel a certain way about it. Yeah, it's not okay. It's not okay that you just make first of all they're kids, so we're not just adult thinkers in a workplace where you can decide. It's a place where people have to go to to get an education, and so I think that forcing those kind of like topics as far as like seeing a confederate flag, like lining the school, is inappropriate. I think so it's not okay.
Speaker 2:You, you know why should my black kid have to come to school and feel uncomfortable? So you could. You know what they like to say. That's our history. So you could pull your history like card. Come on, yeah, my black kids aren't going in there saying that your grandpa or whoever was like lynching and shit like that's what they all, they always want to say, like, oh well, you got. My black kids aren't going in there saying anything about any of that shit. Yeah, so why should they have to see it in their face all the time? It's so ridiculous to me. Yeah, so you know, I mean we, we you kind of like dealt with that situation with the girls on the this little senior team and how that kind of like manifested into something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean we, yeah, we went through a whole thing, uh, and this was in 2020, so so things were just At the height, un-fucking-hinged, yeah. And yeah, it was rough. Yeah, because I had a couple of girls who were high school seniors that I had photographed and they were on my little like senior team that I had going and some video got like leaked or whatever, and they're singing some rap song drunk at a party and they're saying the N-word because it's in the song, and so that became this whole thing, like oh, is it okay because it's in a song, and like you know. And so then it became like, oh, there's these two girls.
Speaker 2:one was white, one was just filipino, I think was she.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, she's brown, she's pretty brown yes, um, and it became a huge thing. I mean it went viral on TikTok Someone yeah, it was on Snapchat, so someone posted it on Snapchat Twitter. It went viral on Twitter so someone posted it on Snapchat and I guess it was only up for a few minutes and then they took it down. In that time someone had screen recorded it.
Speaker 2:And they blasted it Like this is what's happening at Vaca.
Speaker 1:High. And then it turned into this is what Brianna Gamble's clients are doing. These are the clients that Brianna is photographing and she has representing her studio. So I got sucked into this whole thing which at the time I was like this is so unfair, like why am I a part of this? And so it became this whole oh, oh, my god, it was a huge thing. So then I started getting kind of like I don't want to say like threats, but kind of just like everyone's like cancel, bring on a gamble. I'm canceling brown and gamble, cancel her stupid, don't book with her because she's racist. And then, you know, things just start snowballing.
Speaker 1:Then people started tweeting things about uh, I'm transphobic, because one of my past senior clients, when I photographed him, was presenting female and said I am a girl, is my name, it was a girl's name, like so whatever. And I only had girls on my senior team at the time. It wasn't a like co-ed or whatever, like open thing, and so at the time that I worked with this senior, that's what it was. So a couple months after graduation I had still been like posting, posting, you know, like you still post your clients like months after you have photographed them or whatever. I posted the senior photos and I had referred to them as their female name, because that's what I knew of them and.
Speaker 1:I don't follow up with all of my clients in their lives months afterwards, well, turns out, at the point that I had been posting, they were now like transitioning or I'm not sure I'm not exactly sure of all the details, to be totally honest and we're going under a different name, a male name, and so then it turned into this oh well, do you see, like she's just posting clients and calling them the incorrect pronouns because she doesn't believe in, and it was like this. This is crazy, this is actually crazy. So, yeah, it spiraled into this whole thing again. It was in 2020, things were just off the hook, and so everything was extremely sensitive and like taken out of context in the world. You know, um, so yeah, I mean, luckily we were able to kind of um, I think well, you turned it.
Speaker 1:You turned it around. I was gonna say, as best as I could, I tried to turn it into something positive, um, which I don't know. I feel like it was. Just, it was one of those situations where I felt like I was damned if I did, damned if I didn't. I felt like I because everyone was expecting me.
Speaker 1:So the girls in the video, in the viral video, who were, you know, saying these racial slurs, were getting kicked off everything.
Speaker 1:They're like getting kicked off cheerleading, they're getting kicked out of all these clubs at school, everyone was like done with their ass, you know. And so I, and at first I was like that's what I'm doing too, like I can't have this, I cannot be a part of this. Um, and then, the more I thought about it and the more I kind of like talked through it and was trying to figure out what I really wanted to do. I'm like, you know, I don't think that it's smart for me to just like wash my hands of them and walk away as if, like there's nothing to be done here, like I think it makes a lot more sense to bring these girls in to like discuss it and discuss it with the rest of the seniors that are on the team and then maybe even turn it into a community discussion. And so, although that was a slightly terrifying decision because I didn't know how it would be received, and of course, it was not received well by many people on Twitter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like okay, let's have this open community discussion.
Speaker 1:So I opened up my studio to have a meeting.
Speaker 1:First, I brought the girls in and gave them the opportunity to kind of say their piece and apologize to the other girls on the senior because that's the other thing is, the other girls on the team were kind of lumped into it too, um, and people who are friends with them and when you're, who's associated with them? Yeah, so they got an opportunity to kind of say whatever they wanted to say and apologize and like let's just have a discussion, like an internal discussion, before we opened it up to the public. Then I had a public discussion. I posted on Facebook and I'm like I just want to open the door for us to have a discussion regarding all these things and all of the stuff that you're talking about at the local high school that's happening and I invited, um, like the cheerleading coaches and people from like some people from the school board came and just a lot of community members came and I said I just want to just just talk about it. I don't want to. I'm not saying like, I believe this, I believe that.
Speaker 2:I'm not over here to show your views, you're just like let's talk about.
Speaker 1:It clearly needs to be discussed. And um, yeah, and it turned into this whole thing and it ended up being like, after that initial one, people were like I think this is something we should do ongoing. I think we should bring a lot more high schoolers into this conversation, and it's kind of like spun off into its own thing for a while, which I ended up having to kind of step back. I said you're more than welcome to use the studio space and I you had stepped up with drew to kind of like facilitate that you know those meetings for a while for people to be able to come. I said you're more than welcome to use the studio space and I you had stepped up with drew to kind of like facilitate that you know those meetings for a while for people to be able to come. I said you're more than welcome to use my space. I can't always be present for the meetings just because of my prior commitments. But yeah, it's funny, it turned itself around.
Speaker 2:Drew and I would pull up topics or current events and just kind of like this podcast. We would just like kind of outline what we wanted to. We wouldn't guide the kids into whatever direction but we would like say like, okay, this is the topic and we'd let it veer. And then Drew's really good at like really taking things like in, in simplifying, like explaining or like kind of veering conversations in that way. So I mean I would help as much as I could like just picking out topics. I'm the idea person, right, that's who I am.
Speaker 2:And then Drew would like hold court with the kids and let them like we did it at churches and we had multiple meetings at parks and stuff and Drew kind of held court for these kids to like have these open discussions, to like just to see through a different lens on like how it is to go to school when you're brown, when you're Mexican, when you're Mexican, when you're black, when you're white, and like everyone's ideas and kind of kept everyone really respectful and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:And I think it was really fun. Actually, I thought it was interesting to hear and it was interesting to hear the kids say like stuff like I never would have thought about it that way. You know, especially the white kids in our community, having them see kind of what the brown kids are feeling, and a lot of them not even knowing that these things are even happening, like they're not a part of it, but they don't know that this is happening at all in our community, which I think that that is what a big part of the issue is is lots of blinders are on, so then people don't see what's going on, you know not only in our community, probably multiple communities, you know.
Speaker 2:So it is tough to send your kids to school in these kinds of environments and just hope for the best and just try to teach whatever I can at home. You know, and especially you, you know, I think to the girls that you know had to learn their lesson or whatever, even their parents. I was just like I was gonna say, I never even thought about this because they would say so.
Speaker 1:The one mom she was saying I'm she was so shocked about this whole thing, shocked that her daughter would be like even think of doing something like this.
Speaker 1:And it was like she was so shocked because she was like we never, like I thought I was well, I guess she said it kind of like I thought I was doing my job as a parent, but like we don't use those terms in our household, we don't blah, blah, blah and we like are not racist people, whatever.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't it. It was like it came to light that it was like it's not just about the fact that you are quote unquote not racist or whatever, but like you aren't having the conversation about racism, uh, in your house and you're not talking about why you shouldn't be using terms like that, like yes, you're not, you're kind of just like it's almost like you're sweeping stuff under the rug and going well, if we don't talk about it and we're not doing those things, then they know that it's not okay, but that's not true. And so it kind of opened up the eyes for parents to be like wow, you have to have discussions about this kind of stuff and not just rely on, like on, like well, this is what we're showing them at home. You have to like open up the floor to talk about stuff like that. So, yeah, it was interesting. I mean really, it really like turned into this much bigger thing than we anticipated, but I think it was really good and it was really nice to be able to like use somewhat of my like teeny, tiny platform yeah, I think that was good, like give yeah them to be able to have a voice about it, so that was really cool, um, but yeah, I cannot believe that we started this episode thinking we were going to talk about making friends as an adult when
Speaker 2:really, we just talked about racism in communities and yeah, I mean, I think it's a big hilarious. Yeah, I think we are worried, maybe on this podcast too, to start topics like this uh, yeah, it's tough to.
Speaker 1:When we bring up very polarizing opinions and topics that we have, we sometimes will talk about it ahead of time and we go, okay, these are the things, like I'm okay with saying, or these are the things that are kind of off limits for me and those are typically just like our personal lives, yeah, things that we don't really want to bring up or whatever. But, um, I think the more that we do this and the more that we kind of get out there and we're talking about more stuff and we're getting feedback from people, we're feeling more comfortable talking about things and taking a stand on stuff that I don't know we believe in, without feeling nervous about it yeah, I guess, yeah, so yeah, I think it's tough.
Speaker 2:It's a fine line, it's a tough, and I also don't want to speak for anyone else you know we do a lot of generalizations on this show, yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so I feel like when you are talking about these kind of matters also I'm not very well educated on it, right, so like I can't go like this is exactly what happened, or this is, you know, with this situation I am, but I can't tell you kind of like any kind of politic, policies or anything like that. You know, it's all going to be about feeling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just our own. It's strictly our own personal opinion our own personal experiences, and that's really all that we'll speak on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not telling anyone else how to live their life or whatever, except for being maximalist. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. So if you would love to weigh in on this topic, we would love to hear from you on our Instagram at maximalist life podcast, and we will see you guys next time. Hope you're having fun.
Speaker 2:Tits up, dicks out.