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Maximalist Life
This is Maximalist Life, with Brianna Gamble and Tamika Stringfellow. This unfiltered podcast is your permission slip to chase after everything you damn well desire.
Join us as we dish out no-holds-barred conversations and invite you to step into a life filled with limitless possibilities. Forget fear and embrace the maximalist mentality with us every week.
Get ready to experience piss your pants laughter, cringe-worthy truths, and be inspired to break free from living a mediocre life.
Maximalist Life
Ep 36 - Beyond Vanilla: Finding Your Sexual Sweet Spot
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Episode Summary:
Brianna and Tamika are back with another spicy, unfiltered episode — and this time we’re going there. We’re talking sex, power dynamics, and how to actually get what you want in the bedroom without making it awkward 😏
✨ Setting the vibe before things get hot (yes, boundaries are sexy)
🫦 Let’s talk choking — the right way vs. the “uhh please don’t crush my windpipe” way
🙃 Breaking down the myths about what women actually want
🗣️ How to say what you like without dying of embarrassment
🧓🏼👶🏼 Dating older or younger — and how it shifts the dynamic
🕯️ Setting the mood with music, lighting, and scents (it does matter)
💃🏾 Figuring out where you fall on the dominance/submission spectrum
🤝 Why trust is the real MVP when you’re exploring new things
🎥 Using photos, videos, and references to get on the same page
🫂 The importance of aftercare when things get a little intense
This episode is giving pleasure, power, and grown woman energy. Press play and let’s talk about it 🔥
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You're right .
Speaker 2Welcome to Maximilist Life . She's Brianna , I'm Tamika .
Speaker 1Yeah , we are . Yeah , we are what she said . Yeah , here we are . So yeah you got any updates life updates .
Speaker 1I don't know what made me think of this . Maybe because we're doing this spicy episode , okay , but I was gonna tell you this silly story . So , um , you know , when I took my son and his friends for his birthday to that virtual reality place , and you know they're just like fucking around and stuff , like we went to lunch , did all the stuff and they're 12 , 13 year old boys . So they're walking behind me . You know they can't walk next to me because that's so embarrassing , of course . So I'm like walking . We're walking to me . You know they can't walk next to me because that's so embarrassing , of course . So I'm like walking . We're walking to the car and Bentley doesn't want to walk next to me . So they're kind of like a little behind . But I can hear everything that they're saying and they think that I can't hear them . So they're just talking a bunch of bullshit . And then they each like here and there throughout the day , they keep saying don't drop the soap , and I'm like what the fuck ? I keep saying that . Yeah , they keep saying it to each other . They think it's so funny . And so finally , as we're walking back to the car , I hear Bentley say that and I turn around .
Speaker 1I said do you know what that means ? And he's like , uh no . And I was like , why do you say that ? And he was like I don't know . Someone on YouTube said it . We thought it was so funny . And I said that means when you're in prison , they don't want you to drop the soap in the shower because if you bend over , another guy's gonna stick his penis in your butthole . And him and his friends were like and he looked at me like mom , what the fuck ? And I was like , yeah , that's what it means . So when you guys are telling each other that you're saying , hey , don't get a , don't get a penis in your butthole , that's what you're saying to each other when you say that in the wild like that .
Speaker 1Yeah , I said so . Don't ever fucking say that again . Yeah , what ? And they would not believe . I just said that and I just turned around and kept drinking my coffee and walking back to the car . Yeah , that's your education for the day . That was your learning moment . So prison slang from the 13 year old white kid okay , good story you know , it's really weird having a teenager so weird just weird shit in a boy too .
Speaker 2I know at that well you saw mine the other day . He is literally standing next to me . He has his hand in my pocket he is so cute he is so attached to me , just like a little baby I wish that my son was more attached to me .
Speaker 1God he used to be , that's how my son used to be , and now he's not .
Speaker 2And I'm hoping he'll come back . He stays in his room and plays video games .
Speaker 1Yeah , mm-hmm , oh Brit Mm-hmm . Yeah , so does Bentley .
Speaker 2Yeah , so it's . So I mean , it is what it is .
Speaker 1You know , does your son ever listen to our podcast ?
Speaker 2He can't . The kids have a hard time listening because I say too many sexual things about . Drew oh , yeah , yeah , yeah yeah so I mean he edits it for us Rice .
Speaker 1Rice , yeah , rice Rice .
Speaker 2Rice is rice , right , I don't know how to say rice , rice , rice Tami , I will listen to it . Sometimes she had to skip one episode , like if it's too spicy and too much about drew , she can't really . If I'm generalizing sexual experiences or just saying things , she's okay with it . But anytime it's like oh me and drew , oh me and drew . Where she does feel like it's healthy , that like super healthy , that her parents like have sex and it's like are excited about it and all that stuff .
Speaker 2But yeah , probably you shouldn't have to hear about your parents having sex no , they're thinking about to me and I though we're only 16 years apart right , so like by the time I'm dying , that bitch might die before me . You know I'm 86 , she's 70 , that bitch might go before me .
Speaker 2You know , I'm saying or whatever so like we're really like close in age . But I mean I never treated her like that when we were younger . I was still like always her mom . I know a lot that happens a lot where , like teenage pregnancies , the mom and the daughter become like best friends and there's like all these lines from like a young age . Yeah , lines that get crossed or whatever , but no , I'm all . I was always like don't fuck around , and still now I I'm like .
Speaker 2I'm still coming , I'm still your mom . Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . So like sometimes when we've gone on trips , it's like okay , we're just two ladies , you have to set the tone when we went to Vegas for her 21st birthday . I was like we're just two ladies , and then that bitch started spilling the beans on everything .
Speaker 2She got so fucked up and she was like , yeah , when I used to smoke all this weed in high school and all that , and like I would never get mad at her , even if she told me when we weren't just two ladies and we were mommy daughter , but and then she didn't remember because she was so drunk at the pool party , yeah , and I was like you know , you told us all these things and she was like I told you that . I was like , yes , drunkard , oh god , yeah , so well , that's fun yeah , yeah yeah .
Speaker 1So , um , for this episode we wanted to do something spicy . Yeah , we couldn't it's hard to like also just come up with like one specific spicy topic and they kind of all like start blending into each other , and so we wanted so we put into chat gpt to give us some spicy ideas , yeah , and so some of these are hilarious . I'm just gonna say the ideas and then we could just talk about it , yeah yeah yeah , yeah . Um , my favorite one . It said pretty girls get pounded too yeah , we do damn chat , gbt , you really know what's up .
Speaker 2Yeah , he's hardcore , yeah I think that , like I mean , this goes back to everything we always say like they want us to be , like these gentle creatures soft and submissive . But it's weird because the guys want to pound it , so what ? They don't expect us to want that too , mm-mm .
Speaker 1They just want to choke you to death .
Speaker 2And then they expect us , on the reverse side , to say that we only want to make love , aww , make love missionary style .
Speaker 1Is that how you sound when you're saying aww , that's what I do , aww , I , that's what I do . Oh , I love this , can you imagine the guy's looking at you confused . That's why he's choking me . Shut the fuck up , bitch , stop making that noise mute . Yeah , he's pressing the remote mute now can we talk about .
Speaker 2There's an art to choking too .
Speaker 1Okay , yes .
Speaker 2So Can you tell your story about our ? She always gets upset because I remember every story . Our golden retriever boy .
Speaker 1Oh God . Which you might have told this story .
Speaker 2I may have Everything blends together at this point . We've done so many episodes , who knows what , but like everyone skips around , so whatever yeah , I don't think everyone listens to every episode . Well , some people do some people from the beginning . But I remember I told you so when , uh , I just talked to they're like , oh , I listened to episode in your pocket , so , like when they're just joining , I think they just pick random , they don't . Yeah , yeah , you just read the titles . Yeah , that sounds good .
Speaker 1Yeah , okay , um yeah , two years ago I I for a little . I had like a little summer fling basically with this 28 year old , which at the time I thought 28 was so young , which is funny because at the time I was 35 , now I'm 37 and been fucking around with this 25 year old for a while . Yeah , which will come , we'll circle back but , anyway , oh my god , he is the most golden retriever boy he's super hot right god , he's so hot and he had a nice body , so tall , right cute like a horse dick yeah , I mean shit .
Speaker 2I actually know I don't want to fuck a horse .
Speaker 1I didn't either . But the thing is he's so gentle , too gentle , too gentle with everything , only wants to have sex missionary , only just wants like look into my eyes deeply the whole time , yeah , and tell me . I'm just so beautiful the whole time he's like caressing your face yeah , like come on and then .
Speaker 1So after a few times of sleeping with him I was like all right , like maybe just spice it up a little , you know , because like even during sex , like I would try to kind of like spice it up or do something , and it's's like he wasn't having it .
Speaker 2Okay , so tell me , like what kind of attempts would you make ?
Speaker 1Like I would even just want to try to do a different position , like I'm like , oh , let me , let me just like let me turn over , or let me just like let's just do doggy style or let me , yeah , get on , and he just it .
Speaker 1He would say no , he would . It's like he wouldn't at first like say like , he would just like like you could tell he kind of was like all right , and then he would just be like I like you to do this , and then just kind of like want to go back to missionary . I'm like every time we have to just do this , you just have to like stroke my hair and stuff . Once I admire you . I know it's just too much . It was just I was like I mean , this is so nice , but I can't just do this every time , yeah . And so one time I was like I'm gonna have , let's have a conversation before we get in bed . So like I tried to bring it up and be like yeah , I just want to like spice it up a little . And he's just like what do you mean like ? What do you mean spice up ? Like you don't like what we're doing ? And I was just like no , I love it no , I don't know .
Speaker 2I love it . See how you have to be such like .
Speaker 1Why can't just be like yeah , I like it , but I want to do other things , mm-hmm oh , then I was just like yeah , you know , maybe you could just like be , we try a different position , or maybe you could just like choke me a little bit , or something , and and he was just like what Just shocked . I'm like , it's just like a little , just like a little joke , like nothing crazy . Just put your hand around my neck , don't fucking kill me yeah yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1And he was just like couldn't believe it . He was just like I really don't want to do that . I'm like no , I really don't want to do . Like he was scared , almost like he was going to cry . I was like Jesus Christ . So then I'm like let's just try . So then we're in the middle of having our missionary sex and I grab his wrist and like try to like bring his hand up to my neck . So I didn't have to say like I was just like trying to guide him and he was just like it's like he was almost grimacing . And he was just like it's like he was almost grimacing , like he was just like , oh , I don't want to do this . And so I'm like just just do it so soft . You just do it so soft , just put your hand around me , just hold it also because he has huge hands . I mean , he's so tall and just every and just hold it .
Speaker 2You can just hold it , it's fine . It's just like holding my arm or something he wouldn't even touch my neck .
Speaker 1He had his hand hovering over , like in the choking position , but it was like an inch or two over my neck , so he wasn't touching me at all . Surprise his dick getting soft oh my god , I was like what do you ? Just touch it ?
Speaker 1and I'm like trying to push my neck towards his hand , like come on , come on , and he's like pulling away too yeah , he didn't want to do it he didn't and I was just like , oh , forget it , just fucking forget it like fine , just cross my hair and tell me a beautiful , fine Jesus Christ yeah so you know , sometimes I just really need you to just go for it yeah . I just sometimes you just need a good pounding yeah , sometimes .
Speaker 2I mean , I think that , even though it hurts sometimes , yep , the experience is good . Yeah , yeah , like I think that's . Though it hurts sometimes , yep , the experience is good . Yeah , yeah , like I think that's . The thing too is like for my husband probably , if he , he'll be like . It seemed like it was hurting you or something .
Speaker 1It was .
Speaker 2Yeah , it was , but I liked it . It's okay that it was hurting . You're not like making me bleed . Yeah , you're not like cutting me or bruising me , but like , yeah , I hurt a little bit , but I liked it .
Speaker 1And it's a short experience . It's short , it's not like the whole an hour .
Speaker 2You're just two handed choking me Jesus yeah or just like pounding into me so hard that it hurts back there , like if that was the case , I'd be like , oh , let's switch it up , but I like that . It was hurting , you know I like that it was getting back there or whatever you know .
Speaker 1So sometimes yeah , sometimes with the choking , it could be too much , but we don't really do the choking .
Speaker 2Drew is like that golden retriever too . Drew's not really into it . I mean , same reason he won't do me in the butt . He's like I don't think you're going to really like these things . I think I'm probably a little scared too . Drew , same thing Big old hands . He's a big guy .
Speaker 1It's hard because they don't really know how much is too much , because you have to do the sides right . They say it's the sides you can't be pushing down with your palm .
Speaker 2Yeah , so it's like your middle finger and your thumb are really doing the job of the choking . Right , that's what I've seen , or whatever , or heard , or whatever . Yeah , you can't really actually make me like pass out , or are you ? You ? Maybe some people like that .
Speaker 1Not me , though .
Speaker 2I don't really want to do that yeah , where you actually pass out like they know , yeah , that's too much that's a little weird asphyxiation please don't , because then what if you accidentally kill me ?
Speaker 1yeah yeah , you're gonna be in trouble you're gonna be in a lot of trouble , mister yeah , yeah , yeah , and not by me , because I'll be dead .
Speaker 2Yeah , so not really into that , but so do you feel like there are a lot of people , the partners that you have sex with , a lot of them are into the choking or not really ?
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , they bring it into it , or you A lot of times they just do it .
Speaker 1They just do it . They don't even say . Lot of times they just do it , they just don't even say yeah , like they just do it . But also I will like if something , like if anything is happening during sex , I really don't like it , or if it's like hurting me too much , like I'll just say , or I'll just like . This happened this weekend actually I had a little choking , too hard choking oh , and I just grab it . I just grab his wrist so hard and he's just like fuck , sorry , like was it too much ?
Speaker 2yeah . That doesn't say is there a conversation in the moment like do you , yeah , does he go like , like you're saying , is it too much ? Yes , do you actually go like , yeah , that was too much .
Speaker 1That's too much , yeah , that's too much . Yeah , also because sometimes what guys do that ? Also sorry , there's like some little kids just like I don't know if you guys can hear it , but outside of our window , yeah , uh , he , he hear it . He hears us talking about sex . He thought it was hilarious .
Speaker 1Yeah , um , yeah , I mean this particular guy specifically like , if anything , like he'll kind of check in throughout just hearing it it's like like he'll just be like it's okay , or if it's like yeah , or like , or like he'll just say , like a little quick thing like that . And um , yeah , he felt so bad when I was like it's hurting , because sometimes what happens too is like , because you know they're on top and so they have to , like , hold up their whole body weight anyway , and then now they're only on one hand because they're using the other hand , and so sometimes they're putting pressure on , like their uh , I don't know how to .
Speaker 1It's almost like their wrist of the palm of their hand palm , yeah , it's like on your chest , yeah , and that hurts putting their weight down .
Speaker 2Yeah , that hurts , yeah , and I go , jesus you're like gonna bring , gonna break my like windpipe or whatever yeah , right , yeah , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1So that part I don't like that yeah , I wouldn't like that either .
Speaker 1I don't think so I don't know , but I do think like it is interesting , like I don't know , I do think most guys they're into it . I'm general , I hate , yeah , I generalize a lot , but yeah , I think you think a lot of guys enjoy very submissive girls , at least in bed maybe not in life , but like in bed . They want you to be really submissive . Yeah , I think so , and they want to just be so dominant and they just want to like do whatever they want and they want you to love it too , not just take it but love it yeah , I do .
Speaker 2Well , I mean , this goes back to how like sex was has been programmed all these years , like that's what it's supposed to be .
Speaker 2Yeah , you know , and obviously we hear about these Dom's , and I think that that's why it sounds so exciting , like where we're the ones in charge mm-hmm and then we say all these things and we do all these things , which I mean it's so hard to have that in a partner where I think I could like say any of that stuff to drew . That's not in my personality to be , uh like dominant in the bedroom with us anyways I don't really want that you know yeah I he . I think he would do it if I wanted to like yeah , like yeah , you can . I mean , I don't even know what that would look like I know I was like I .
Speaker 2I keep wanting to like I'm just telling you what to do , like I mean , I'm gonna tell you , lick my feet . What's gonna happen ? Like how is it that ? When I'm thinking about how Drew is dominant in the bedroom , how would that then go to me ? How ?
Speaker 1would that ?
Speaker 2transfer to me , and how ? What would that look like for me ?
Speaker 1yeah , and .
Speaker 2I can't really imagine it which is why , like I don't think that I would be into it so much , because for me also part of being like submissive to Drew is that I want , like this really masculine man and that type in life and everything . So for me to be so dominant , I think , would I emasculate him yeah , and so like I don't really want a little bitch boy , like that's not my style like it wouldn't turn you on to be right , right , yeah .
Speaker 1So it's like there are times , so I think I know what does that look like for you . I think about it too , where I'm like what would I even say ? Or what am I doing ?
Speaker 2what are we doing like I don't want to do like degree . It's not like when Drew is dominant , I get on me like or whatever . He's not like degrading me , it's more just like hop up , come on , you know like we're changing positions . Yeah , like he always does a little tap on my booty , you know if I'm on top , like okay , we're gonna move into this way .
Speaker 1You know , yeah , like they're like you can be the one , like you are the one . Okay , so we're like saying like this is a position , this , or like you're gonna do this or you're gonna like I kind of want to try or like maybe I'm choking you , I don't know . Yeah , I don't want , I have done that my hands barely will go around his neck I did that one time .
Speaker 2You know my hands always hurt , I go , I can't do it .
Speaker 1My hands hurt I can't do it , my carpal hurt . I can't do it , my carpal tunnel yeah .
Speaker 2I can't do it , I know . Okay , you did it one time . Tell me .
Speaker 1Tell me , I did it one time with my ex-husband you choked him , yeah , and it was like Okay , what position were ? You in , Like I was on top . So's like a lot at least I've experienced , and the guy still doesn't even want to let you do your thing on top . It's like he's almost like hover and then he's just fucking you from under , yeah , and I'm like , can I , can I do something ? So I just want to be like you're gonna fucking lay there and take it .
Speaker 2I'm I'm going to use you as my sex doll .
Speaker 1Yeah , like maybe I'll tie your hands and your fucking legs down . You can't even move .
Speaker 2So that is something that Drew and I have done , where I've tied him down . I mean , here's the thing . This is really weird to think about . But like we did that , like in high school oh my God , he had like one of those bad gold like brass , like beds , like a four post bed , and so I tied him up his hand so he couldn't touch me , which I think that's kind of sexy , you know where they just can't touch you and you're just like doing whatever to them .
Speaker 2But still , for me it was still very feminine doing it , that way you know and so I guess the hard part is getting it out of my head that just because you're dominant doesn't mean you can , you don't have like , you can't be feminine with it too it doesn't mean that you have to like , wear this mask and have this , these whips and stuff . It just means you take control of what you want in the bedroom right yeah , which is kind of I don't know drew does what I want , so it's like hard for me , you really have to , yeah yeah , but I can see that I mean .
Speaker 2So one of the things where I feel like I am and I do these things is like all like the scratching and like all that with their back and stuff . And the funny thing is I asked Drew like do you notice that I'm doing that ? And he goes no , I can't even feel that you're doing any of that stuff interesting and I go , really I go , do you see your back when we're done ?
Speaker 2and he never looked and I show him the other day and he's like you fucked my whole backup . He has really sensitive skin too . And he was like I didn't feel any of that . I'm going to do it harder now , yeah .
Speaker 1I'm going to make you bleed , yeah . See if you feel it then , yeah , you know one way that I like to . In my head , this is me like reclaiming my power Before it even happens . Okay , happens , if it's a new guy , I go , I'm gonna tell you I like to stay up front , I'm gonna tell you the things I don't like . Oh , and they go because they love to go . Like , what do you like to do ?
Speaker 2no , let me tell you what I don't like . I'm gonna tell you what I don't like and what we're not gonna do so tell , tell me some stuff that you don't like I go first things first .
Speaker 1I'm not calling you daddy , okay , don't ask me that . It's fucking gross to me yeah , you don't that's my main thing . I hate that . And then I go I'll do a little bit of like light , like the light , choking the light , but don't , okay . You want to spank me ? You want ? Okay , fine , but like I'm not really into any of that , I don't want any impact play . You're not punching me in the face , that's for sure .
Speaker 2Oh my god is that on the table for some people ?
Speaker 1yeah , I mean yeah .
Speaker 2I'm yeah , I'm slapping the spanking too , like I like it . But I mean , sometimes I read some of these books which I think like that is some of the stuff that's actually happening in the world too , where it's like so hard , where handprints are getting left , and like I think that would be shocking to me if you did that because I think for us , because that's not really in our , like you know , on the menu for us , like that's hitting me right .
Speaker 2I don't like especially if you don't ask me , like if I was just out there dating and you're just slapping the shit out of me on my ass like that's too much . A light spank is fine a light but like I don't want a fucking red mark like where you hit , like it's just not me .
Speaker 1Although it makes me angry .
Speaker 2I think about that scene in Fifty Shades of Grey , that one where he like gets the belt and he hits her ten times . And she's like show me the worst of it . You know , I think about that like , where he's like hurting her and she's like I don't understand why you want to do this to me , and she's like I don't understand why you want to do this to me .
Speaker 2I mean , that's really extreme , because he spanked her with a belt , but I'm sure people are getting spanked with a belt . Oh , yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah . I don't want any of that .
Speaker 1Yeah , so I tell him I'm not calling you daddy , I'm not doing any of that bullshit either , don't leave any marks on me .
Speaker 2I .
Speaker 1Don't bite me or do something so hard that it's going to leave a mark . Don't bruise me in any way . I also say , like I'm not your cum , better not touch my face or my hair .
Speaker 2Yeah , no .
Speaker 1Don't you're not coming on my face .
Speaker 2I like the bruises .
Speaker 1I don't like it .
Speaker 2Because here's the thing too , because I I mean I think you are the same a little bit . I mean I think you are the same Like I'll bruise easily where it doesn't hurt .
Speaker 1So easily .
Speaker 2Yeah , and so I kind of like it the next day when I just see a little bruise , maybe because also that's my partner .
Speaker 1But like it doesn't hurt . The next day I might be with a different guy .
Speaker 2It doesn't actually hurt me . Sometimes it's just like there because he grabbed my leg hard and just like that's it bruising a little bit as long as it doesn't hurt which is weird . I just like Drew's mark on me a little bit , you know okay .
Speaker 1It's weird too , because it depends on who . It is like I don't know . Okay , so it's like I don't want to be , I don't want any marks on me , like if I know I'm gonna see Mr Monday .
Speaker 2I don't .
Speaker 1I don't really want to have any marks on me . Yeah , I've seen him , but then at the in another way , like if it's like a new person and I don't . I'm like I don't really want to have any marks on me . Yeah , I've seen him , but then at the in another way , like if it's like a new person and I don't . I'm like I don't care if you know that I had sex with somebody else like .
Speaker 1I don't know , but I just in general , I don't really want to have any like remnants of what happened later . Yeah , um , those are the main . Those are like my main things that I just tell them up front . These are things I don't really like , so those are easy , don't fuck , and yeah , and it seems like , oh , these are just like so simple things , but a lot of times those are do you have guys that push back on any of the things .
Speaker 2Okay , there's never anyone that says like , have you tried to do this ? Okay ?
Speaker 1and I think , maybe because the way I say it , I go , I'm telling you right now , these are things I'm not doing and they're like all right , yeah , this is a hard no for me , yeah , yeah yeah , and they're just like I'm okay yeah , I'm not gonna go into it yeah , and then do you have any guys that uh have anything for you that they won't do as
Speaker 1you not a lot , because I always ask them after like okay , well , what are your ? Hard no's and then they don't usually have like you haven't heard anything , not really . They're just kind of like like usually I ask them that and they kind of laugh and they go I don't know , no one ever asked me that like I'm like no one ever asked you like what your limits are or , and they're just kind of like I don't know which kind of is interesting to me , because it makes me feel like women just expect like well , if it has to do with sex , guys will be into it , you know or like uh yeah , like I'm not supposed to ask that kind of question , that's not my place to ask whatever they want , I'll just do it .
Speaker 2Uh-huh too right , yeah . So I just ask like what do you ?
Speaker 1and then if they say nothing , if they're just like , and I go nothing , nothing is off . I can pick you yeah , then I say some crazy shit and I'll be like , okay , so I could put my dildo in your ass , and I'm like whoa , and I'm just like kidding with them .
Speaker 2But I'm just like yeah , see , you do have something . Yeah , you do have stuff .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's just a joke you have limits too , yeah , and then I think that I feel like they appreciate that I ask that or I bring it up , and then I think it makes it even more like they respect my limits more , because they know I'm like respectful of theirs if they had any . But , um , yeah , I don't know .
Speaker 1Guys are just fucking weird yeah , of course sometimes I just want to do weird stuff and I'm like , okay , I don't know , I don't know . But yeah , I do think that , yeah , you could be . You could be soft but also dominant yeah , I think so , I think so um , okay , also on this list . It said uh , sensual selfishness . What happens when you stop having duty sex ?
Speaker 2yeah , I , you know doing it out of guilt , or to keep the peace , or yeah , I think that that's a tough one because that says something about the relationship or the marriage that you're in and why you're doing it yeah , um . Because to me that implies that you don't want to do it . And so for sure . Why don't you want to do it ?
Speaker 1Yeah , and is it just something that's like OK , maybe , like you are , you only have enough energy to have sex twice a week , but your husband wants to have it every single day , and so you're like , that's why , where it's like , oh , I just like I'm so tired I can't't be doing this every single day , and so maybe it's not that like you don't not want to have sex with them .
Speaker 1It's not that you I don't know if I said that right , it's not that you don't want to , yeah , it's just I can't be doing it that often well , I mean , I think I've said this before we're all .
Speaker 2I will tell you like should we have sex every day ? Or like we should whatever . And then he'll be like it's too much pressure to have sex every day , like one of us is going to get tired , you don't want to do anything out of obligation , like yeah , he was like if it happens it's fine , but like he's like every other day is probably a better expectation for us . Yeah , like when we've talked about it , and I was like okay , yeah , he was like it's okay if it happens every day .
Speaker 2Though , but , let's not like like that's like you know where we have to start , right , I think that is what it is too . Is like this duty sex . It's like when you put pressure on it like that , like okay , we have to do it four times a day , and then like I mean four times a week or whatever , and then you come A day shit .
Speaker 1Yeah , you like come to the point where you've done it three and then , like you , only have one more day and then you're like fuck , we have to have sex tonight .
Speaker 2You know like it's not , yeah , it's not like enjoyable , no , you're just doing it and you're not into it . But then I also feel like it's like I think you need to have serious conversations with your partner at that point if you're having duty sex like there's a problem yeah , for sure .
Speaker 1Yeah , bad bitch in the streets .
Speaker 2Pillow princess in the sheets you know , I really like this . I really like this because it's usually like freaking the sheets , you know yeah I think there are so many times where , yeah , I just want to lay there and like , not so many times . But I think , because I don't really do this anymore , we don't really just have missionary sex anymore , like I could see , maybe , when you are having duty sex , how it's easy to be like , oh my God , he wants to have sex tonight . I'm kind of tired .
Speaker 2All right , let's do a missionary and then like you know , easy . Um Drew's calling me , I think , to come in here .
Speaker 1Hello , hello .
Speaker 2Hello , what are you wearing , Drew ? I'm in the middle of my podcast . You can come in the back door . I'm wearing my ranch outfit . Okay , bye . I thought he was here . He was sparked after or something . He called me and said what are you wearing ? What am I wearing ?
Speaker 1Get the fuck out of here , oh my god interrupted by that's hilarious okay well , who is ? That bitch in the streets . Pillow princess in the sheets oh yeah .
Speaker 2so then when you're having this duty sex , you're like okay , like , yeah , I could just uh , you know lay down on the bed and you just do everything to me , which , yeah , sometimes when you're tired , like just like , eat my pussy and then get on top of me . And then we get off and it's like still a good night of sex yeah .
Speaker 1But I can't be doing a lot of stuff .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm too tired when you're saying like oh you know , sometimes they just want to like take control when you're on top .
Speaker 1And I'm like , yeah , but sometimes I'm like please go for it , please move my body , because the boys I think that's the thing too they literally move your body for you too , yeah like you're a little puppet .
Speaker 2Yeah , I need some help . Help me . Yeah , who was it ? Someone was telling me I can't remember what they were like , I can't be moving like that . And I was like you're not moving where you're having sex or whatever .
Speaker 2They're like no , they need to do all the work and I was like , I mean , I get it just like they . You know you want to be like a passenger princess . You know , yeah , you want them to drive and do all these things . And then you know I'm like , yeah , sometimes I just want you to do everything , just fucking throw me around oh , the throwing around is really something I know .
Speaker 1I really do enjoy that , me too , and I used to be so self-conscious , you know , I've always been like a bigger girl , like I've always been a little chunky monkey , and so I , you know , you get kind of self-conscious and then like , if your boyfriend or something tries to pick you up , especially if you're in high school , and you're like no , no , no , no , and you just feel I don't know , you're just kind of like meh , and so I feel like now I'm just like , yeah , pick me up . If you can't pick me up , then you're a little bitch . I'm not fat , you're a little bitch .
Speaker 2I think that's the case for me too is because I just really like when Drew throws me around the bedroom like I'm , I'm , like this is pretty good .
Speaker 1You know my , uh , my little boyfriend . I keep calling him my little boyfriend . He's not little , he's almost six feet tall , but he's 25 years old , so that's why I call him my little boyfriend , young boyfriend . My young man . No , not the young man .
Speaker 2Ew , that's so gross , that's so gross .
Speaker 1Uh , oh God , he wants to pick me up all the time . Good , he just wants to pick me up all the time he likes it . You know , here's the thing . He's like a little bit too romantic , ugh , which sucks , okay . And this is like it's a me problem . It's a me problem for sure , because he is just so fucking nice to me shit for me and like brings me dinner .
Speaker 1And then he came over the other night and then he's just like he couldn't come , like around dinner time , and so he was gonna come later . He felt so bad and I was like I don't give a fuck . Like what do you mean ? Like I just thought also , like you're coming over , we're gonna having , like we're having sex , you're staying the night so we can have more sex . But he's just like once I have a date night , and so then he's like he calls me . He's like I'm at the store right now . What kind of Ben and Jerry's ice cream do you like ? I'm gonna bring it . I was like , oh my god , he's like I was just thinking like we could eat ice cream , we could watch a movie , and he's just so sweet . And then every time he wants to like pick me up and like make out with me and do all this stuff , and you know , then I like it , but then sometimes I go .
Speaker 2That's too much yeah , I think the problem with you and I'm like this too is like sometimes I need you to be mean to me .
Speaker 1Oh , he would never .
Speaker 2Like not really mean to me , but I just I don't know , maybe it's in our like psychological like whatever , yeah , that like we just can't have like these nice men all the time .
Speaker 2Not all the time but like I , just because it seems unrealistic . I think that's the point . It's like because I can never like be that person too , like I can't just be so nice to you all the time , cater to you and like all these things like that's not in my personality , so you need to also just be real to me too . There's sometimes when you can't be on . I mean , easy for this guy right now he could be on because you don't see him that often .
Speaker 1No , no , so the times he is on , like but I'm like you could be on for like 12 fucking hours . I can't do that Well , and I always think that it I'm like are you love bombing me the love bomb is a real thing .
Speaker 1It is a real thing . I think at this point I know he's not . I think in the beginning it was easier to think that now he's not , because you know the other thing he does now , which now is I was trying to . I this is bad , but you know you try to find these things . You go what kind of things do I not like about you ? There has to be something . There has to be something .
Speaker 1And then now I realize he's a mansplainer . He mansplains a lot of stuff to me and I go listen , I'm 12 years older than you . I have a lot more life experience . I already had tits and my period before you were born , right , okay , so I don't need you to explain this stuff to me or tell me what I need to do to go like put you know , air in my tire or do . He tells me all these things and he wants to like and it's just .
Speaker 1He's like nice , but also we'll be talking , and he's talking about something that's not that crazy like I'm trying to think of , because we were talking about his work . Anyway , he talks about something and he kind of gets like in the weeds about it and he's like going , going , going , and then he stops himself because he realizes he's like going too deep into something . But again , it's not something , it's not over my head . But he goes oh , I'm just , this is getting too technical . Or like he , like he , he says it in a way that's like oh , this is above you , sorry that I , sorry that I went so into it like , this is not a conversation so my first question , and thinking about this and why he's doing this , does he typically date younger girls ?
Speaker 2I don't , I don't know , okay , because I'm just thinking like if you're 23 , you probably don't want to listen to that , so then is he and he seems really smart and really mature for a 25 year old when he's talking to like these young girls and then he realizes like oh , it's like over their head , like they don't really want to listen to .
Speaker 2Then he's like okay , sorry , I didn't mean to do that . Also , he has to over explain , because those bitches don't know anything about like the things that are saying , but because you're older and like you know , he does it and then he doesn't realize . So that's what I was wondering does he ? Usually date older women , or does he usually date younger women ?
Speaker 1you know , I don't really know . It's like we have talked about the girls that he dates , but we never talked about how old they are . I don't know . I want to , I would like I think that they're younger , just based off of like it just sounds like it like the stuff that they're doing and they're hanging out , and I'm like , okay , yeah , maybe they are in their 20s , at least for sure .
Speaker 1But yeah , so that kind of bothers me where I go . Yeah , I don't really need you to tell me all this stuff . Or like I'm telling , like he wants me to talk about work , so I'm telling him about work stuff too . And then it's like I'm just telling you , so we have this conversation , but it's like he wants to quote like fix whatever problem . I'm telling and I'm like I don't need you to fix it , there's nothing to fix . I'm just we're just having a conversation about it . I'm just telling you or I'm like venting to you or whatever . But yeah , I already know how .
Speaker 1I already know how to run my business thanks , right , it is like well and I , but I think it's partly like I hate when people think I'm an idiot . I hate when people think I'm dumb , especially guys , when guys think I'm dumb , it's like one of those things that , like it really makes me angry . Yeah , it's like something . It's like I need to . It's like it's one of those things where I go . I need to work on that , why . Why is it angering me so much ? Who cares , like who cares .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1But it just pisses me off . It's like so anytime someone talks to me or they're like a little bit condescending .
Speaker 2Well , it's so rude to be condescending .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , and I mean the thing with him , though it's like I could tell he is not um , it's like he . I don't think he realizes , like I don't think he realizes what he's that's what I'm saying .
Speaker 2That's what I'm saying , like I think , because he may deal with younger girls that this is the reason why he does these things .
Speaker 1Yeah he's I mean , he's just so fucking nice , though , but I feel like the more comfortable I am getting with him and the more time I spend with him , I feel like this time I was a little bit more like dominant with him .
Speaker 2A little .
Speaker 1Okay , or just like , because then , like , we had this whole long . Here's the thing too If we're having this whole long sex session , okay , and it's just lasting like two hours , then no , we're probably not going to have sex again tonight , okay . So we have this whole drawn out thing or whatever , and then we go downstairs and then we're just like eating ice cream and like he was like smoking weed , and we're just like hanging out and it's like fun , whatever . And he's mansplaining everything to me and I'm rolling my eyes . You know the whole deal . So then we go back to me and I'm rolling my eyes . You know the whole deal .
Speaker 1So then we go back to bed and then he like wants to have sex again and I'm like listen , I'm old , my hips can't be . I got to stretch a little bit first and then , so because he wanted to do that , then he , yeah , he . So he starts like going down on me and then he , after maybe I don't know how long I think it was a's a good while , I mean it's probably like 10 minutes I was like pretty good for like a second session of the night and then he wants to come out . I said stay , and I just like push his head down . I was like no , like I'm not ready to do anything else at this moment .
Speaker 1I need you to double the time here yeah , sorry you need to double down on this if you want me to do anything else .
Speaker 1Yeah , if you want me to like be on and I never do that , like I never yeah , so you were comfortable yeah , and then I was just like go for it , you could just stay there . But I was like , oh , that was kind of nice to just tell him and I think then he kind of was into it like oh , because I think sometimes guys like when you tell them not that you have to be like so dominant about it or like bossy , but they want to know what you want yeah , so you made it seem like not , that it wasn't the truth , like oh , I really like what you're doing .
Speaker 1Keep doing that , I'm really into it yeah , because if they stop doing it , you're just like okay , yeah , then it kind of seems like did you even like what was happening ?
Speaker 2right right right , right right right , yeah right so that's , but really you're just moving on .
Speaker 1Because they're moving on , yeah , you're just going along with it and so they're just like oh okay , I guess you don't really give a fuck , yeah , yeah , so I do . I do feel like I want to have uh , so it could be with him or it could be with mr monday , I think you know mr monday is so I feel like sometimes we're too silly , like I feel like with him I might start laughing .
Speaker 1They're so comfortable yeah , like if feel like with him I might start laughing Because they're so comfortable . Yeah , like if I try to say something I might start laughing . I don't know that he . He could probably keep his composure , though , and be like shut the fuck up , like stop laughing . Anyway , I forget what I was saying about that . Oh yeah , I want to do my little pretend Dom moment .
Speaker 1Yeah , I think I'm going to bring it up . He just got back from Vegas . He said somebody flew him out so I need the deets . Yeah , what that was about . I said have you met this person before ? And he was like yeah , so I need to know what happened . Yeah , so anyway , I'll let you know . I think I'm going to bring it up .
Speaker 2You can't tell me how it's going to go . I'm going to bring it up .
Speaker 1You can't tell me how it's going to go .
Speaker 2I'm going to be like I want to try this . Yeah , I want to hear how the conversation goes and how the session goes .
Speaker 1I think he'll be so into it Like he likes . I think that he enjoys me like he really likes me to be comfortable .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Like he really prioritizes his partner's comfort level and so I think he would understand that like I would have to be really comfortable with someone to even try this , so he would be like , yeah , let's fucking do it .
Speaker 2Yeah . So we'll see how it goes yeah it is interesting how , when we feel comfortable and when we feel like safe within our partners , that how much more things we're willing to experience for sure and how much more things that we think like , it opens up something for us , you know , and we're like wow , I never thought about it , but I could try this or I could try that , because we feel so safe that they'll take care of us , whether it hurts , whether it didn't work out , whether whatever , they'll still take care of it's embarrassing if it's yeah , and so whatever
Speaker 1we feel so safe in that environment that it gives us permission to like , want things yeah , yeah , because otherwise , if you feel really uncomfortable , yeah , you , you are so worried , like we've talked about before , you're so worried about all these external factors like what I look like or what I sound like , or oh , the lights are on too much , or this or that , and you're not really in the moment and actually enjoying what's happening it's like , then why are you even having sex ?
Speaker 2Yeah , I don't know , I'm not really sure .
Speaker 1Yeah , you can't just have sex just to do it or just for the other person's pleasure , like , if you're not having a good time , a really good time , then yeah , it goes back to that doing sex . I know what about , uh , this one . It says from boring to bodied , the maximalist bedroom makeover , romanticizing your sex life like your wardrobe , lingerie rituals , bedroom aesthetics , sex , sex playlists , oils , toys , confidence tools .
Speaker 2Yeah , I think that sets the tone a little bit . Just like we talked about in our past show that setting the vibe of things and kind of like I don't know , like doing that before instead of trying to do it in the moment .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2Is really . It makes a huge difference , I think , and it kind of gets you into the mood . You're doing the candles , you're doing the dimming . You know , whether you do it or your partner does it , or you express to your partner that that's something that you would like to do , so that it makes them , makes you feel like they're putting a little extra effort before .
Speaker 1I think it's really good . Yeah , like I always have to have , I gotta I gotta have the dimming , I gotta have the candles . I really like that stuff .
Speaker 1You know , smell is like a huge thing for me yeah and I feel like I have a an over over what is like , like my sense of smell is heightened yeah at all times , like not just right now , like it's just always been like that , I don't know why , but um , so yeah , I gotta have like candles going If anything smells weird or I'm like Nope , yeah , you don't , like , I'm done , um , and I do . You know , I do like to have a little playlist going .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , so I have like a little playlist , so like I put it on or whatever , and then this weekend , so here's the thing , that's hard . So you know , I have my little dog , my little dog Gunner , and he's with me all the time . Gerald , geraldine , yeah , his name is Gunner , but he's at your house .
Speaker 1His name is gerald or geraldine sometimes yeah um , and he's with me all the time , especially because I'm mostly like home or like working from home and stuff . So he's just like constantly at my side , he sleeps in my bed , all this stuff . So now , like if someone comes to my house and then we're in my room like I don't want him in there because he's so like hyper , he wants to like play , so he'll just be jumping all over the bed and shit . So I'm like you can't fucking be in here , yeah , no . So I just like shut the door and I'm like , hey , you gotta stay , you know . And I put well , he used to be fine . And now , oh my god , he just went outside the door like a baby . He's just whining and I'm like shut the fuck up , and it doesn't matter what I say , if I yell at him or if I don't or if I ignore him .
Speaker 2So now I'm like I gotta have a playlist on , because I can't just be hearing that do you ever just put a gate up so that it bring like why don't you have a gate at your stairs ?
Speaker 1uh , I did . I used to have a gate at my old house . Um , I got rid of it .
Speaker 2I was tired of it yeah , just one that you just put up . It's my sex gate yeah , it just stays in the garage . You put it up downstairs , so he has to stay downstairs .
Speaker 1I know I maybe I'll try that . The thing with him is he gets mad at me and then he'll pee on my rug downstairs in my living room , like on purpose . So I'll try it and we'll see if it works . Because yeah , I mean I can't just have you crying it . No , he's putting his little nose like under the door yeah , no , fuck that it wasn't having a kid .
Speaker 1Shut the fuck up . Oh my God , it was making me so mad the other day . So then I had my the guy that was there . I was like can you put some music on ? Because I didn't , I left my phone downstairs and I'm like can ?
Speaker 2you put some music on . Yeah , you the room . Yeah , get the fuck out of here . No , yeah , that's so silly .
Speaker 1I know weird things to think about when you're having sex , like where's your dog going ? Well , and there was like one moment where it was like the song was changing , so there's like a tiny lull , and then like because I can't wait to hear this . So then you know you're like sex noise or whatever . And so I kind of did like ah , and then you hear him , mm . And then I was like uh-uh , no , I gotta go . I said you gotta stop . I literally I can't hear him . He sounds like he's having sex out there . Like I'm so grossed out right now . I was so fucking mad at him . I was like Gerald , you got to shut your fucking mouth .
Speaker 2Just go take a nap downstairs . You don't need to be next to me right now .
Speaker 1I even try Like I put like extra food and water downstairs . I even got him brand new treats that he liked . I tried to give him treats downstairs and then he's just like no , I got to be with you .
Speaker 2Oh my God well , he is a covid dog yes , he is , yeah , poor little guy . So that's something mom and she's having sex and he's fucking mad about it .
Speaker 1Yeah , and you know the reason he's mad about it is to be . He loves when people come over . Yeah , of course and so he just want it's not even about me he wants to hang out with him and so as soon as I let him in the room after we're going to bed , he'll whoever like , he'll just sleep next to him . He'll just cuddle up next to him and I'm like , I'm sorry , like my dog's just gonna sleep with you . Yeah , sorry if it bothers you let me know .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , god dogs are so weird , I know , yeah , but so cute , yeah , for sure . Um , okay , let's see what else chat gbt told us . Um okay , the sex you really want , but haven't said out loud yet , so like initiating without shame , telling your partner your actual fantasy naming kinks I .
Speaker 2I mean , we talk about this is like a running theme . I think within this podcast , it's really hard to tell someone you want because you feel what you want , because you feel like they're going to like shame you or they're going to think you're weird or they're going to like you know , and this is why I want to have my sex club .
Speaker 1Oh God , I know Because .
Speaker 2I want to be able to talk in group .
Speaker 2It's like group therapy and you know with these married couples that maybe they've done it or they haven't done it , and then maybe you want to say it and they're like , yeah , I did this too and this is what worked . It didn't work , you know . So it's really and you feel like some support . Yeah , right , if you're like with your husband and you're like in this group like , say , we have like a sex club and it's not a sex club like you're doing sex right , it sounds like it's like a book club .
Speaker 1You're just talking .
Speaker 2You're just talking fully clothed , having a conversation so imagine if you like wanted to tell your husband that you wanted to like do this thing , whatever it was . Yeah , you didn't really have the courage , you know . But then , like your friend that's next to you , she did it with her husband . And then now you're saying it , and then they kind of chime in and go , yeah , like it was really good for us . You know all this stuff , so I don't know , is it weird to have like a supportive person when you tell .
Speaker 1I don't think it is , I don't think it's weird , but some people just are just so closed off to the idea . Yeah , so it's hard . You know what I did one time ? So I one time I was talking to this guy because I think too . So I was talking to this guy from like the hookup app , so I was on field and so we're um , also I call it a hookup app , which I don't know that it's really a hookup app . I think it's just meant as a dating app , but really everyone's on there to hook up well , like I said before , it's kind of like how tinder is was especially the beginning where it's a dating app .
Speaker 2But like it became like kind of like they know , like if you're on this one you're trying to hook up , not where like bumble , like you're trying to like find going to date . Yeah , yeah , yeah so .
Speaker 1So I always call it the hookup app , but I just putting it out there .
Speaker 1I don't know if that's how they market themselves as a hookup app , but that is to me what it is , anyway .
Speaker 1So one time I was talking to this guy on there and like it's like we cause you tend to be more open , upfront when you are going into like a connection like that where you both know what we know what we're here for , like we're not fucking around and saying like , oh yeah , I'm on a long-term relationship If that's not what we're here for . So you kind of can start having conversations pretty early on about , like , what I like , what I don't like , and this is even just like over text . And sometimes I feel like people don't say things right away and like guys will even not say stuff that they're super into because they're like afraid or they're like , oh , she might think I'm weird or whatever . And I kind of was getting that vibe from this guy that he wasn't like fully , like sharing everything , and so then I I said send me three porn videos that are like your favorite kind of porn to watch . And then he did , and then it was like oh , okay , like I could tell what you're into now , because you just send me these videos .
Speaker 2What was he into ?
Speaker 1uh , I mean , he just sent one is like this squirting video , this girl . And then there was one that was like a um , it was just a threesome , like it was just a two guys , though two guys and a girl , but like it was like the guys weren't doing anything . I don't remember what the third one was . Actually it must not have been anything crazy yeah , because you would remember .
Speaker 2Yeah , I don't remember , but I never thought to ask someone that was like well , because do people just have like these ? Go-to videos I don't know , but I was like I don't really know how the like how that work porn works really like , so people probably subscribe to pornhub some right or yeah , whatever those all ones are , and then do they just save it I'm sure you can save it , like videos has to be .
Speaker 1I don't know I don't know either , yeah interesting .
Speaker 2That's another , maybe a topic we can explore , just watching porn yeah , yeah . Another thing that I don't know about is you know , I told you this before I never have been on the only fans app I don't know what it even looks like the other day I was thinking like , uh , because I really want to somehow bring pink doran onto onlys fans not in a sense like where , with clients or anything I would love to somehow advertise to the clients that need sexy photos .
Speaker 1Yeah , like they already have an existing OnlyFans account . They're making money doing that , and so they come to us for us to create content for them , right ?
Speaker 2And I'm not talking like we're going to record porn , but just like to sell to these guys like these sexy photos , like they don't have to worry about it . And then like , for example , we had a client one time she came here , she was on OnlyFans . She said she put an ad out for the guys like who wants to buy me photos from this place ? So then it ran and then she got so much amount of money and then she came here , took sexy photos and then it paid for it . Like that is . But you know , know , when you and I have talked about this , we don't really know how the app works .
Speaker 2I know , so like we don't , know , like , like , I keep thinking like this might be a good thing , and even if it's just like a good thing for a short amount of time we make a certain amount of money for two years because no one's doing it . Yeah , like I keep thinking like we need to fucking get on there and figure it out yeah , but I don't really know how that we're .
Speaker 2All I know is like you can subscribe to things you can like . We had one person we knew who was on there actually doing it and she said like they'll pay you like for like one video , or like they'll subscribe and then they get all these videos or you can do these private things .
Speaker 1But like there's a lot of options . I know I gotta just go on there and see , yeah , that too , like , so I think I'm . I forgot about that . That I did that with that guy already told him that . So I'm like I kind of like that idea . You do like if you were or maybe , let's say you aren't even someone who really like watches porn you could just be like like , if you were to like watch porn , like what kind of porn would you watch , what would you search or what to like ? Like you're asking this to your partner or to this other person to kind of be like what kind of stuff would you be into ?
Speaker 2and actually that might uh get out . It might be easier for a girl too if the you're the man is asking the girl , like if you were to watch porn or like what kind like might be easier for the girl their tornado what is that ? Oh my god it might be easier for the girl to like kind of like it's like when we do um photo shoots and we're like okay , like , show us your pinterest board yeah , yeah , like right easier to explain instead of saying like okay , I like when guys do this and this , like that's like .
Speaker 2Might be hard for them to say , but if , like , they could send you a little short clip and they're like I really like this , like these are the things that I like you know so it's like they need to make a pinterest board of what they want as their sex vibe oh , a pinterest board , a porn hub , pinterest . This is my vibe . Can you imagine if that's how it was for dating ? Oh , my God Like you just send your , or you have a link to your Pinterest board .
Speaker 1These are the dates I like . This is how I want you to dress . This is what we're doing . Yeah , that's hella funny . I'm going to do that .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , I like it . I don't think they might like it . Yeah , so it's like this is how my sex it like this . What am I ? I like my sex to be like , and so you're just I just have a board and it has sections .
Speaker 1These are things I like I have a section . These are things I don't like . This , these section , these are the things I have never tried but would like to yeah , oh yeah .
Speaker 2So it's your little Pornhub board that's hilarious Pornhub board .
Speaker 1That's hilarious Pinterest Pornhub board Pinterest Porn yeah .
Speaker 2I don't think Pinterest wants to go into the porn industry . I don't think they need to yeah they're making enough money out there not to have to be in porn .
Speaker 1Well , lucky .
Speaker 2Yeah , because we're getting on Only's fans around here , only's , only's fans .
Speaker 1Only's my um , because we're getting on .
Speaker 2Only fans around here , onlys onlys fans , my fans , oh boy . Um , oh god , it's been a great episode this is pretty good .
Speaker 1I mean , there's some funny ass shit on here .
Speaker 2I know , I know , when I was reading it I was like , okay , this goes to some like fun topics to just kind of bring up , and then we'll go on tangents , just like yeah how about this ?
Speaker 1and ? We just say inappropriate things spiritual baddies who love a little bondage . What ?
Speaker 2yeah , man , our chat gbt's off the hook have you ever done any like kind of bondage , things like been tied up or anything like that ?
Speaker 1not really I , um , I , I think I would again be into like light yeah , bdsm yeah , but like there's a okay on field , there's a lot of these like looking for a rope bunny and they want someone who they could just tie up like a fucking rotisserie chicken and I'm like , yeah , I'm not , I'm not really into that .
Speaker 2I can't just be constricted like that , and I don't like pain for a long period of time and I feel like that is kind of how BDSM is a little bit yeah where I can stand pain for like short spurts , but the pain for a long period of time is not really my jam , I don't think also I really it's like a control thing .
Speaker 2I was just , I was thinking that too I just I would freak the fuck out if I couldn't like get out my arms , yeah I would freak out because , in some ways , even though drew is the dominant , I still have full control of what's going on I know that at any time I can control this situation and I'm sure with you , like with any of your partners , you need to be able to have control in that sense . But I think that with the BDSM , and like having a dom , that's when that super safe space comes in .
Speaker 2You have to be able to trust them so much , and I think I'm too much a control freak to be able to let that happen , like when we had that dom girl come in and I do feel like she has kind of a stronger personality you know , and that guy was like a lot younger than her . That is her dom or whatever and she said they would have like these 12 hour sessions I can't .
Speaker 1I what like ? Why ? Yeah , there's no way in hell well , I think what happened .
Speaker 2There's a lot of waiting . He ties her up , leaves her there no , absolutely not and then she said she'll just sleep for 24 hours after .
Speaker 1You know , I got too much shit to do for all that .
Speaker 2Yeah , so they have these long it wasn't 12 hours , it was less than that and then she sleeps for 12 to 24 hours after that . But it's like these long six I think it was like six hour sessions where they're doing all these things and then also on top of that is they're doing real aftercare , where he's like bathing her for an hour and like brushing and blow drying her hair and taking care . Because , no , I can only imagine , if you're being dominated for six hours , that you literally can't move your body afterwards , like she said , like my body's sore , like you were , like I worked out for six hours because being tied up in those like you know positions , like your muscles hurt and all that stuff . But yeah , I think I'm too much of a control freak . Yeah , to even to let drew like fucking tie me up like a little piggy no , I don't want that at all , it's just also .
Speaker 1It's not sexy to me , like I don't find , yeah , nothing about that is like hot . I'm like , oh , yeah , tie me up .
Speaker 2I'm just like that seems like you're gonna murder me , yeah , and even like when I even though I like those like hardcore books or whatever when they're saying all that and they have like the gag ball in their mouth and stuff I don't really . I mean , you already know this , I've said this before I don't like really bodily fluids and like kind of gross nasty things , things like that With the gag ball , like it's drool Like that I can't for me , that isn't sexy for me .
Speaker 1No .
Speaker 2I can't imagine Drew would like that either . So like I can't really have a gag ball , I mean you could do like a silk blindfold , you know like , like you know , that seems like sexy to me . Yeah , stuff like that , but like not a little silk blindfold ? I'm not putting that red ball in my mouth and then having it like on my cheeks like this , and then it's just really you can't close your mouth , can't really scream no all .
Speaker 2I think , yeah , it feels a little scary to me , but I think those people feel very safe in those environments and I think that that's what they have to like , do like . Remember that girl too . She said we don't date like , we just do this dom thing like they don't date after , because we have to create this like environment always yeah and it to be very trusting that we can't like blur lines with anything else that's too much for me .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's crazy , it's , it seems difficult for me too for me .
Speaker 2I don't want that no thanks , I'll be vanilla . Yeah , I'm a little bit more vanilla than that .
Speaker 1Me too , me too yeah , yeah , yeah , yikes , but that's okay . I think you just have to find your sweet spot , yeah , what works for you and for your partner , and you just go for it . And then , yeah , maybe go like a little outside your comfort zone here and there and see how it feels and if it's too much , come back yeah , back . Yeah , it's fine yeah yeah , but maybe you'll like it maybe you'll like it a lot spicy , spicy yeah I like it this has been so interesting well , I'll let you know um when I try out my uh little dom thing and let you know how it goes .
Speaker 1Yeah , it's .
Speaker 2That's going to be great . I can't wait to hear about it .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah , me too , he's going to get it .
Speaker 2He's going to get it . Yeah , you're going to spank him Ew .
Speaker 1I don't know , I don't know , I don't know , I don't know , probably not , probably not . No , the vlogger and little whips yeah , yeah , we'll see .
Speaker 2Anyway , hopefully you guys like this little spicy mishmash of an episode .
Speaker 1Yeah , kind of a q a a little bit . Yeah , yeah , the q a is the chat the chat gbc q a . Yeah , what the hell ? Yeah , yeah , yeah , okay , well , let us know if there's any um weird spicy things you're into . Yeah , yeah , shoot us a dm on our instagram at maximalist life podcast and we'll see you guys next time . Hope you're having fun tits up dicks out .