Hey mama! Welcome to the Inside Out Mama's Podcast. I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six, and I know what it's like to feel stuck and overwhelmed trying to be the perfect mom. But everything changed for me when I learned that small changes on the inside can bring big results on the outside. Each week I will share simple yet powerful inside shifts or outside tips that can transform your approach to mothering, helping you thrive from the inside out. Ready to ditch the mom guilt and enjoy this season of life? You're in the right place. So, you probably already know that there is no such thing as a perfect mom, but inside, do you still feel the need to be a perfect mom? Like you look around at other moms, what they're doing, what they're not doing, how they're dressed, how their kids are behaving, and you think they have it all. They are such a perfect mom. And then you wonder. What's wrong with me? Why can't I be the perfect mom? I think we have all felt this way at some point in our mothering journey, and some days I still struggle feeling this way. One thing that really helped create some space in my mind and begin to set me free from this perfect mom mentality that I had was when I was listening to some coaching being done by Jodi Moore. And she said something like this., if the plan was for our kids to have perfect moms, they would have been given robots for moms. But our kids were not given robots for moms. They were given. us, Imperfect Moms. So, Imperfect Moms was the plan and nothing has gone wrong here. Those thoughts freed me up so much to think that imperfect mothering was the plan. That what I was able to do with and for my kids, even though it wasn't perfect was actually What was best for them and opened up some new thoughts for me of how could that be? Like what's the upside to being an imperfect mom? So I actually thought of quite a few things and there's probably more than I came up with, but today I'm going to give you my top five reasons why being an imperfect mom is actually perfect for our kids. Okay, number one. Being an imperfect mom makes it okay for our kids to make mistakes. I think as parents we all realize, okay, kids make mistakes, that's how they learn, that's part of learning and growing, like, that's all good. And I don't know where the disconnect happened that we thought, as a parent, all of a sudden, Making mistakes was not how we learn and not part of growing. We had to do it all right. But somehow we got that into our minds that as a parent, we knew everything and that making a mistake was a sign of weakness or, you know, doing a disservice to our children. I remember when. I was younger. I thought that my parents were perfect. And I remember one time having a conversation with my dad and I don't remember what we were talking about, but he just said to me, Brittany, you're the Guinea pig here. I was the oldest child. And so I was the first one that they learned how to parent on. And when he told me that, I was so shocked. I was like, what? You've got to be kidding me. I thought you knew. I thought you knew what you were doing. And it was just really eye opening for me to realize, oh, I guess we're all learning here and that's how it's supposed to be. So I've actually made a point to tell my children, Hey, you know what? I'm just Practicing being a parent on you, and I'm doing the best I can. I think having our kids see their mom not be perfect will show them that making mistakes are normal, that's part of life, that no one's perfect, and plus it will take the shame out of making mistakes. If they see moms doing it, then it must be okay. All right, number two, being an imperfect mom teaches our kids by example, how to ask for forgiveness. If our kids see us make a mistake and then we go to them and ask their forgiveness, if the mistake, had to do with them and we make things right, then they will know that making mistakes is normal, but they will also know how to fix them. They will know that I can make a mistake and then I can ask forgiveness and I can make it right. And then I'm okay. And I'll just keep learning and growing. They won't think that they need to hide their mistakes maybe because it will be something that is more normal. And they'll see that there's a way to make a mistake, own it and make it right without feeling the shame about it. Number three, being an imperfect mom teaches our kids how to forgive Give. So this kind of ties into the other one. They learn how to ask for forgiveness, but now they also learn how to forgive when Our imperfections impact our kids and we give them the experience of having an opportunity to forgive us, then that teaches them how to move on without holding a grudge. It teaches them how to go about asking for forgiveness and then how in your heart to forgive the person. And I think this is such an important skill to have in life because there will be so many times where they will need to ask for forgiveness. Or forgive others and let go and be able to move on. There's so many times in our life where we could hold onto things for a long time and be upset about them just because we aren't willing to forgive. And it really makes life miserable. So this skill of being able to forgive others is one that we could teach our kids. By asking them to forgive us. And as kids, they're so really good at forgiving. They're really good at forgiving and moving on very quickly. In fact, they could probably teach the adults a thing or two about how to do it quickly and then just love unconditionally afterward. Number four. Being an imperfect mom helps our kids have a focus on growth instead of the idea of perfection. When we shift our focus to learning and growing from our mistakes, instead of shaming our kids for making a mistake, or even ourselves if we make a mistake and then we try to hide it so that we can look perfect, that makes it hard for our kids to, See mistakes as learning and growth opportunities. But, when we shift our focus to learning and growing, then we open the door for our kids to see that mistakes are just chances to become better. They will not see us as perfect mom, that they will never be able to be like, you know, our kids look up to us and they want to be like us. And if they see that we don't ever make mistakes and they do, then they'll think. Well, I can never be like her because I make mistakes and she doesn't. But when they see that we also make mistakes, but we learn and grow from them and become better each time, then they'll see us as someone who's constantly learning, growing, and changing. And then they'll see that that's something they can do to Number five, being an imperfect mom brings more connection to your relationship. Making a mistake, owning it. And making it right is being very vulnerable. And those tender moments of asking forgiveness from our kids can bring a closeness and a connection to a relationship. They will be able to relate to us better. They will look up to us and want to be like us in these really positive ways, because they will see that we're human like them and that we have a lot in common. They will see that growing and Becoming better is something that's possible for them. Now, this doesn't mean that we have to give up the respect they have for us. We still want our kids to respect us, but I think that this vulnerability will actually create a deeper level of respect for us because they will be a part of our growth and learning instead of just seeing this. Perfect person that never does anything wrong. Well, I don't know about you, but when I look at this list of reasons that being an imperfect mom is perfect for my kids, I really feel like imperfection is the way to go. These are all skills that I want my kids to have, and they're actually skills that I want to be better at myself and need to practice more. So, I think we should use this list as fuel to let go of our desire for perfection and really embrace the amazing moms we already are. Let's get excited about imperfect growth, both for us and for our kids. Now, because I believe small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside, each week on my podcast I'm going to give you a small change challenge. Something small that you could do throughout the week, if you choose, that could end up bringing big results to your life. So the small change challenge for this week is I want you to notice one. And only one way, your imperfection as a mom is serving your kids more than perfection would. So, an example could be you, lose your temper with your kid, and you have an opportunity to apologize to them, and tell them that you regret saying those words to them, and then tell them that you love them, and ask them to forgive you. This could result in your kid learning how to come out of being upset and how to make things right, how to ask forgiveness, or how to forgive. Um, any of those things could come from that. Or maybe you're with one of your children and you break something that belongs to one of their siblings or to your spouse or somebody else, and instead of saying, Shh, don't. Don't tell anybody you say, Oh, I broke this. Now I'm going to have to go talk to them and tell them that I broke it and tell them your plan for how you're going to fix it. And maybe even they get to watch you say, Hey honey, I'm so sorry I broke your toy. I didn't mean to, I'm going to replace it or I'm going to glue it and fix it for you. Will you please forgive me? So again, this is showing your kids how to take ownership, how it's not shameful when you make a mistake, and then how to apologize and how to make things right. Or maybe you're cooking, something for your kids, and you burn it. And instead of just throwing it away and getting upset, you try again. You throw it away and then say, I'm going to just try that again. And hopefully it works out the second time or maybe the third or fourth time, but modeling, hey, sometimes we make a mistake and then we can just try again because each time we're learning. So those are just a few examples, but find one, way that Your imperfection as a mom is serving your kids more than perfection would and the things that they are able to learn and experience and be a part of because of imperfection. And then celebrate that in your mind. Celebrate the growth that you are providing both you and your kids. And remember, small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Inside Out Mamas. My hope is that our time together inspires more feelings of peace, confidence, and joy in your mama journey. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a show. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, head over to brittanyturleycoaching. com to check out my digital workshop designed to help you reduce daily mom overwhelm without adding to your to do list. Thanks for listening, and remember, Small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside.