Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast. I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six, and I know what it's like to feel stuck and overwhelmed trying to be the perfect mom. But everything changed for me when I learned that small changes on the inside can bring big results on the outside. Each week, I will share simple yet powerful inside shifts or outside tips that can transform your approach to mothering, helping you thrive from the inside out. Ready to ditch the mom guilt and enjoy this season of life? You're in the right place. MBFF, Mom's Best Friend Forever. Who do you think would be the best friend that every mom needs? Well, before we answer that, let's take a look at what a close friend is. Some of the qualities of a close friend are They talk kindly to us. They know us well. They know our faults and our struggles, but they love and support us anyway. They celebrate victories with us, whether they're big or small. They're someone who makes time to be with us. They remind us how amazing we are. They're a cheerleader for us when things get hard. And they show gratitude for Our friendship. All of those qualities would really be beneficial for a mom on her journey through motherhood. So, as a mom, who do you think would be the best person to be your best or closest friend? Do you think it's your mother? Or your husband? Maybe your sister? Or maybe another mom with kids the same age as your kids? Well, it's actually you. The most important friendship you could have would be with yourself. You might be thinking, what? That is really strange. If you've never heard of this concept before, it might seem a little bit crazy, but stick with me. I think that you'll end up actually liking it. You are with yourself more than you're with any other person. So wouldn't it be good to have that relationship be one that is supportive and loving, just like having a close friend with you all the time? I think, it would feel pretty amazing to have a close friend bringing those qualities that we listed before to me each day. So, you might be thinking, okay, but how do I be my own best friend? What even is that? First, let's just take a step back and take a look at how we may sometimes be treating ourselves, and compare that with how we would treat a friend. So, think about how you react to yourself when you fall short on something. And maybe these are things you're not actually saying to yourself, but maybe something that you're thinking to yourself. So what do you think to yourself? Does it maybe sound something like this? Why do I even try? I can't make this work. Or why can't I get it right? What is wrong with me? Do you pick apart the details of the situation and find all the ways you think you should have done things better? Now pretend that a close friend tells you that they fell short in that exact same situation. What would your response to them be? Is it different than your response to yourself for the same situation? I don't think many of us would say to our close friend, Why can't you get it right? What's wrong with you? My guess is our response would be encouraging them, giving them support or comfort if needed, and telling them that it's okay, that it's not a big deal. Isn't that interesting to notice? Interesting how we sometimes treat our friends much better than we treat ourselves. Let's now take a look at a few more examples of what typically might happen and then what would happen if we were being our own best friend. So for the first example, it's after school time. Your kids all have homework and your plan is to help them with their homework while making dinner so that you guys can spend some quality time together. What ends up happening, though, is your kids are all tired and grumpy and resisting doing homework. They don't want to do it. And you have one kid doing math that needs help and another doing reading that also needs help, all the while your toddler continues to whine at you, so now you're holding them on your hip while bouncing between both children. You also have things cooking for dinner. And that isn't going so well because you're not able to give it the attention it needs. At this point, you're frustrated, your kids are frustrated, and you end up snapping at your kids. Would your close friend say to you, You should have been more patient. Why can't you be like the other moms who can keep it together? I don't think so. A close friend would say, Bring kind words and praise for what we did accomplish. They might say something like, Hey, it might have not been pretty, but all the kids did get their homework done and were all fed. You're so amazing to be able to juggle that all at once and not completely lose your cool. I'm proud of you. Or how about this example? It's been a long day of potty training with your toddler. They only made it to the toilet one time all day on time. The rest of the day was just mess after mess after mess. you might say to yourself, wow, I am really terrible at potty training. I don't think we will ever get through this, but. Your close friend would probably celebrate your small victory and give you encouragement. They might say something like, Wow, your toddler had a success today. That is great, especially since it's just the first day. That is great progress. You've got this. Now, let's say you just spent the whole day taking care of your family, running them the places they need to go with the things that they need, making sure they were well fed, playing with them, cleaning up after their messes, taking care of them when they got hurt, but nobody seems to notice or even acknowledge all of your efforts. And by the end of the day, you're thinking, I do so much, but it's like no one even cares. Why am I even trying? But a close friend would show gratitude and remind you how amazing you are. They might say, your family is so lucky to have you. You spend so much time serving them and caring for them. Thanks for being such an amazing mother. Can you see the difference in how we may default in talking to ourselves and how we would change if we were talking to a best friend. So what if we tried to take on that mentality more of being our own best close friend, think about the impact that that could have on your mental and emotional state day in and day out. If you had somebody close by you. With you all the time. That was showing you kindness, encouragement, and support. How would that change things for you? I can say from personal experience that it changes everything. As I have worked on this concept for myself, it really has changed everything for me to have a constant support system always with me. I'm not perfect at it. I still don't treat myself like the best friend all the time, but even just having a few moments a week when I am supporting myself like a friend would is huge for my overall feeling of the entire week. Let's take a quick visit back to the qualities I listed at the beginning of this podcast of A Close Friend, and let's envision having these qualities for ourself. I am my own best friend. I talk kindly to myself. I know myself well. I know my faults and my struggles, but I love and support myself anyway. I celebrate my victories, big and small. I make time to be with myself. I remind myself how amazing I am. I am a cheerleader for myself when things get hard. I show gratitude for myself. Now, because I believe small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside, each week of my podcast, I'm going to give you a small changes challenge. Something small that you could do throughout the week, if you choose, that could end up bringing big results to your life. So, the small changes challenge for this week is to find one moment to be a BFF to yourself. Maybe when you lose your temper with your kids, you would think, what would my BFF say right now? Maybe they would say, hey girl, It's been a hard day. You have a lot on your plate right now. Why don't you take a little break? I'll turn on a show for the kids and put the baby in the crib with some toys while you get a drink of water and head to the porch for five minutes of fresh air. And then you do that for yourself. Remember, small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Inside Out Mamas. My hope is that our time together inspires more feelings of peace, confidence, and joy in your mama journey. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a show. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, head over to brittanyturleycoaching. com to check out my digital workshop designed to help you reduce daily mom overwhelm without adding to your to do list. Thanks for listening, and remember, Small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside.