Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast. I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six, and I know what it's like to feel stuck and overwhelmed trying to be the perfect mom. But everything changed for me when I learned that small changes on the inside can bring big results on the outside. Each week, I will share simple yet powerful inside shifts or outside tips that can transform your approach to mothering, helping you thrive from the inside out. Ready to ditch the mom guilt and enjoy this season of life? You're in the right place.

I remember being very fearful when The nurse hands me my newborn and we get to leave the hospital with this baby and feeling some panic like wait, I don't even know what I'm doing here. How am I going to keep her alive? I think as a mom, one of our biggest fears. is the thinking that we don't know what we're doing and that if we don't know what we're doing then we will mess up our whole kid's lives. I definitely spent a lot of years feeling this way. It started with the newborn baby, worrying how to keep her alive, and then it gradually turned into making sure that I taught her all the things that she needs to know with exactly the right time and the right way and thinking if I didn't do it right that she wouldn't thrive. I wanted her to be able to be a contributing member of society, and to have a successful life, and I felt responsible for making sure that was something that could happen for her, that if I didn't teach her all the right things in all the right ways. that it wouldn't happen. So I would read lots of books and talk to lots of moms and get a lot of information and try different things. While all of those things are good, and they definitely helped me learn and have more experience, it didn't help the fear of not knowing what I was doing. I think often as moms, we think we have to Parent correctly and teach them all the right things with the right technique. And if we don't, then we will mess up our kids lives. Now let's just stop here for a moment and look at this whole kind of scenario from a different perspective. As a teen, did you think you were going to learn everything you needed to learn from your parents? As an adult, would you say that all your knowledge and accomplishments were because of only what your parents taught you? If you take a moment to think about what shaped you into who you are today, was it just your parents? Or was it also friends, and teachers, and mentors, and experiences, and failures? and successes, and books, and so many other things. The reality is, that what we know and the success that we've had and the things we've been able to accomplish is not just from our parents, but an accumulation from all the experiences and knowledge we've gained from lots of different places. For example my high school track coaches taught me how pushing myself past what I thought was comfortable or what I thought I could accomplish or do helped me gain more strength and stamina and achieve more than I had originally thought possible. They taught me that I had to push past my comfort zone to continue to grow both physically and mentally. That was a valuable life lesson that I have continued to build on throughout my life that I didn't actually learn from my parents. Not that they couldn't have taught me that, but I was able to have that learning experience through track and my coaches. If you think about it, it's actually valuable to have many perspectives and experiences guiding your learning and growth rather than learning everything from one person and one perspective. I have found this thought very helpful. It's not about knowing everything right to do. but about being one influence among many. It's so freeing as a mom to realize all I have to do is love my kids and do my very best to facilitate their learning and growth and helping them even if I mess up and that everything is going to be okay, that they are strong humans, they will figure it out just like everyone else does, and they can be wildly successful. No parents are perfect and yet people are still amazing, contributing humans. Another thought that's really helped me is to think about how nobody really knows what they're doing, whether they're parenting or anything else. Everybody's just taking the information and knowledge that they have so far and making guesses and trying things out and doing their very best. With kids, every single kid is different. And so you could become an expert at one kid, and then the next kid comes along. And you don't know what you're doing again, because they're different and they have different needs and they have a different personality and they need to be parented a different way. They need to be loved a different way. I've had comments before about how, since I have so many kids, I must really know what I'm doing. And while I have a lot of years of experience and I have learned a lot. Lots by trial and error, mistakes, failures, and trying again. I have never been in this current phase of motherhood that I'm in with my children right now. Never had kids in these exact ages having these exact experiences. And so, I still don't know what I'm doing. I do have more experiences to help me guess what would be the best, but I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing my best to be the mom my kids are needing at these stages, and that's all I need to do. You could also think about it this way. That being concerned that you don't know what you're doing is not a sign of failure. But it's actually a sign that you're paying attention and you really care. If you thought you had everything figured out, maybe you'd miss some important clues from your kids on where things need to be adjusted to be more effective. So you being concerned that you don't know what you're doing or allowing yourself to be okay not knowing what you're doing is a sign that you are a great mom. That's a good thought. Now, because I believe small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside, each week on my podcast I'm going to give you A small change challenge, something small you could do throughout the week if you choose that could end up bringing big results to your life. So the small change challenge for this week is when the feeling of not knowing what you're doing or not knowing the perfect path forward on something comes up for you this week. Be proud of yourself for noticing and caring so much. Then set yourself free by reminding yourself it's not all on you to teach your kids everything. They will learn in many other ways from many other people and experiences. Nothing has gone wrong here. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Inside Out Mamas. My hope is that our time together inspires more feelings of peace, confidence, and joy in your mama journey. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a show. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, head over to brittanyturleycoaching. com to check out my digital workshop designed to help you reduce daily mom overwhelm without adding to your to do list. Thanks for listening, and remember, Small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside.