Hey mama. Welcome to the Inside Out Mamas podcast. I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six, and I know what it's like to feel stuck and overwhelmed trying to be the perfect mom, but everything changed for me when I learned that small changes on the inside can bring big results on the outside. Each week I will share simple, yet powerful inside shifts or outside tips that can transform your approach to mothering, helping you thrive from the inside out. Ready to ditch the mom guilt and enjoy this season of life. You are in the right place. The anticipation of planting seeds with the dreams that you will grow something I think is so fun. I planted my lettuce outside this week and I planted my pepper and tomato seeds in trays to grow inside this week, and I'm already thinking about the delicious salad I will get to enjoy this summer. So what does this have to do with motherhood? You might think, well, what if we look at our thoughts as seeds? What if we think of our thoughts as seeds that we could purposefully plant in the ground in anticipation of growing something wonderful to enjoy later? Let's take a look at seeds to help us understand how this could be. Seeds contain three things. An embryo or the baby plant, a food supply to help the embryo grow at first and a protective outer coat. We could look at the embryo as our thought and the food supply inside the seed as evidence that our brain finds to support our thoughts. And then the protective coat on the seed is us protecting our thought, even when new evidence comes our way. Now as you think about thought seeds, think about what thought seeds you have already planted for your kids. You might have already planted thoughts like, my kid is smart, or My kid is funny, or My kid is sensitive, or My kid is shy, or my kid is hyper, or my kid is mean. You probably think those things because you have found good evidence to support it, and you protect that because you see the evidence that you have found. Let's say you have a thought that your kid is smart. The embryo part of that seed is your thought that your kid is smart. The food supply inside that seed is the evidence that you have found, like they're getting straight A's in school. And the protective outer coat is you believing that they're smart. Now, if you think your child is smart and they do something you think is not smart, then you are shocked. Whereas another child that you don't think is as smart could do the same thing and you're not shocked. This is your protective layer working. You will usually reject any kind of evidence against your thought and say, well, that just happened because of this or it's just a fluke because you really do believe that they're smart. I went to college for a degree in elementary education and to finish up that degree, I had to do student teaching. The first experience I had student teaching there was a student in the class named Kapono. It was clear to me that the teacher already had some thought seeds about Kapono when I got there. She thought that he was naughty and unable to learn. She had found evidence to support her thought and believed it was a fact. She clearly didn't believe he was capable of learning or behaving, and the way that she interacted with him and the way that she responded to him supported that. Luckily, being new and fresh with energy and ideas from college, I saw things differently. When I looked at Kapono, I saw that he was capable of behaving and I believed that he was capable of learning. He did need a few adjustments to help him accomplish those things, but I soon discovered that he actually loved learning when given the chance. The teacher's thoughts about Kapono prevented her from seeing him in any other way, and it prevented her from teaching him. But because I had different thoughts about him, I could see him differently and I could help him. The next classroom that I student taught in. The teacher had a very different approach than my first teacher. She had thought seeds that all of her students were smart and well-behaved. She would often say that these are the best students, and I'm fairly certain that she said that to every class every year. This is what she chose to think and believe, and this is why her students really thrived. The difference between these two teachers was very stark and the interesting thing was is it was really just the thoughts that they were having that made them very different. They were both very capable, well-trained teachers, but the first teacher was allowing her thoughts that weren't serving her student to direct her behaviors, and in turn, her student did not thrive. Now as a gardener, after you plant your seeds, you mark them with like a little tag stuck in the ground that you've written on so that you know what you planted, where you planted them, so you don't forget what it was you planted there, and so you don't. Dig it up unintentionally or plant something else over the top of it, we give the seed space it needs to grow. The marker is us saying, I'm setting aside space for this purpose, and I have an expectation that this will grow here. We can do the same thing with our thought seeds as we plant them and mark them, making mental space for them and mentally saying, this is what I intend to grow here, and setting that expectation. Now if you just plant a seed and then forget about it, maybe it will grow or maybe it won't. Seeds generally require a little more attention. They have to have constant moisture on them. They need sunlight and some need warm climates. For example, the peppers and tomatoes I planted inside, not only need water and grow lights, but they have to have a heat mat underneath them to grow well. I grow seeds indoors so that I can put them outdoors as a plant and enjoy what otherwise wouldn't thrive in my climate because the growing season is too short for them to get much fruit before the frost comes again. If we take these two ideas of marking and nurturing your seeds and apply them to, my example with the teachers, the second teacher that had the seeds that her students were smart and well-behaved, not only did she plant the seeds and believe them. But she took it to the next two steps. She marked them and nurtured those seeds. She told the kids they were smart. She told them they were well-behaved, and she provided a space where those seeds could grow into strong plants. Because all her interactions and her lessons were grounded on those beliefs that her students were smart and well-behaved. She taught in a very different way because of the way she thought about her students. The two examples with my student teaching teachers show us that it's beneficial for us and our kids when we purposefully choose what seeds we will plant and nourish. I don't think my first teacher purposefully planted her seeds, but she didn't purposefully plant. Any other seeds. So how can we purposefully plant thought seeds? First, pick a thought seed you want to plant something you think will benefit your child or you or your relationship with them. An example could be that you want to set the thought seed that your child is good at cleaning up after themselves. The next step is to figure out how you can market and make an intentional space for it. In your mind. Set the expectation that you will help this grow and believe it. For example, to mark the thought seed that your child is good at cleaning up after themselves. You could put a note that you will see to remind you each day of your thought seed. On the note, maybe you only write the word clean or you draw a broom, some sort of code so that no one else will know what it means, but it reminds you. Then think about how you will nurture with water and light your thought seed. You want to add evidence that supports your thought. For example, to nurture the thought that your child is good at cleaning up. You could compliment your child when you see them picking up a toy that they dropped. You might think the seed I want to plant is going to be impossible to nurture because it's probably something that we haven't seen a lot of because we haven't planted that seed. But remember, it doesn't matter how small the action is, it is your nurturing that matters. When you are purposefully looking for something, you will most often find it, and lots of times it's in ways you never expected or in places you never thought to look. So don't give up if you think that it will be impossible to nurture your seed. Just give the process a try and you will be surprised. So what do you want to plant for your kids this spring? You get to choose now because I believe small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside. Each week on my podcast, I'm going to give you a small change challenge, something small you can do throughout the week if you choose, that could end up bringing big results to your life. The small change challenge for this week is to pick one thought seed about one of your children that you are going to grow purposefully this week. decide how you will mark it, and how you will nurture it. I can't wait for you to see what amazing things will grow. Thank you for joining me for another episode of Inside Out Mamas. My hope is that our time together inspires more feelings of peace, confidence, and joy in your mama journey. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a show. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, head over to brittany turley coaching.com to check out my digital workshop. Designed to help you reduce daily mom overwhelm without adding to your to-do list. Thanks for listening. And remember, small changes on the inside, bring big results on the outside.