Hey mama. Welcome to the Inside Out Mamas podcast. I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six, and I know what it's like to feel stuck and overwhelmed trying to be the perfect mom, but everything changed for me when I learned that small changes on the inside can bring big results on the outside. Each week I will share simple, yet powerful inside shifts or outside tips that can transform your approach to mothering, helping you thrive from the inside out. Ready to ditch the mom guilt and enjoy this season of life. You are in the right place. One of the purposes of my business is to help moms feel peace in motherhood. What comes to your mind when you think of the word peace? Are you thinking of moments when all your children are asleep and you have just a few moments to relax at the end of a long day? Is peace when you see your children playing together without fighting and you're able to spend a moment reading or doing something you want to do. Is peace when you're able to go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door. Oftentimes when we think of the word peace, I think we think of situations. Maybe globally we think of peace and being, there's no war and people are getting along. We think of peace. Our homes, as in nobody's fighting. Everybody's doing what they're supposed to be doing without questioning your direction or the things you're asking them to do, and they're talking kindly to one another. There's no messes being made, no clutter around the house. Everybody picks up their things as soon as they're done with them. Is that a vision of peace? Peace is actually an emotion. It comes from within. It's something that we feel inside of us. We can feel peace no matter what is going on in our situation around us. Peace is not the end goal. Once everything is handled, it is something that we foster and grow in the middle of it all. Today I wanna talk about seven ways that we can foster and expand peace in our daily lives. In a previous episode, I talked about how we can build more joy into our lives and ways we can help ourselves feel more joy, because joy is also an emotion. And as I was thinking about peace, I realized that the ways we can foster and grow peace are very similar to the ways we can foster and grow joy. So I'm going to. Review the ones that we used for joy. And then I have two more to add As I was thinking about peace and times when I feel most at peace at motherhood. It's when some of these same things are happening, and I'm going to call these things peace expanders. So peace expander number one is connection. I feel peace when I am ignoring all of the things, calling my attention around me to spend a moment, allowing my daughter to show me the setup she made with her toys and explain all the details to me. Or when I am eye to eye with one of my children and they're sharing something they've done or talking to me and we're connecting, I feel peace. Peace expander Number two is being aligned with our values. For example, I have felt peace when I'm teaching a child to notice what is going on with the people around them and noticing where they can help because that aligns with our family value of service when we're aligned with our values or when we're teaching our kids how to align their lives with our family values. That brings peace, peace expander. Number three, being in the present moment. This is very similar to connection, but I think it is just a tiny bit different. We can connect without stopping everything we're doing. We can connect even over text messages or a phone call, but I feel like being in the present moment is even deeper connection. This one is a harder one for me because I'm a very forward thinker. I'm a planner. I'm. Always thinking ahead, which makes being in the moment something I really have to work at. But I've noticed that when I, for example, stop replying to my text message on my phone, or I dry my hands and stop cleaning the dishes, or I stop folding the laundry, even though. I've been folding laundry so long, I know how to fold it without even looking at it mostly. And I give my full attention, my eyes, my hands, and my body to my child as they tell me the details about their day. I feel more peace than I would have if I had completed the task while listening to them. The fourth piece expander is gratitude. We have a sign in our home that says gratitude changes attitude, and I have found that to be very true. When I'm focused on, what I'm grateful for, and the things that I do have, the things that I am struggling with have less power in my mind, and I'm able to feel more peaceful more often. The fifth piece expander is serving others. This is similar to gratitude, but when we shift our focus from what is stressing us out and focus on how we can help others, it seems to make our own burdens feel lighter. I fully realize how hard this one can seem. I have struggled with this one for years because as a mom, you're already literally serving all day. Sometimes all night. So it's hard to even figure out what is happening outside of your own family's needs. And it can seem really overwhelming. And I struggled with this thought for years of, well, how can I possibly serve? I'm so overwhelmed with what's just happening here, and all I do is serve anyway. The solution I found was to start in my family. I would see how I can serve in different ways than I was already serving in, in unexpected ways, like doing one of my kids' chores for them as a surprise or. Being in the right place at the right time to support someone when they maybe weren't expecting it, something small. Within my own family, it still gives me the same peace as if I were to go outside of my family and find a way to serve. Now, those were all the ones that were also connected to feeling joy, but as I was thinking and researching about peace, I came up with two more. So peace expander. Number six is to be kind to yourself. I talk about this in one of my previous episodes about being your own best friend. When we offer ourselves the same encouragement and grace a friend would, we will be in a better mental state to create and grow peace because we won't be filling this. Inner contention all the time. If we think about peace as in a state where there is no war or no contention, but inside of ourselves, we're kind of at war with ourselves because we're, you know, trying our best to do this thing, but then beating ourselves up on the back end saying, well, why didn't you do this? Or, you could have done that better, or, I can't believe that you couldn't pull this together. So when we are kind to ourself, when we're treating ourself like our own best friend, we eliminate that inner conflict and that allows us to feel peace much easier. The seventh piece expander is trusting yourself. I also talk about this in one of my earlier podcast episodes, but knowing and trusting that you are the perfect mom for your kids, and that what you have to offer is just what they're needing. Knowing that you are doing your very best and no more is needed. I think too often we fall into the trap of thinking, well, if my kids had a different mom, then these things wouldn't be happening because they would parent them better than me and they would be able to do these things that I can't do, which is just not true. Trusting that. You made this child and there's a reason this child is with you. In the Love and Logic books, they talk about how it's important for parents to get to a point where they really. Believe in themselves and can say, I did good by that kid. Knowing that you gave them everything you could. You taught them the best that you knew how, and you gave them the skills that they needed to be successful. And being sure in that, even when they make choices that you don't agree with or go against what you taught them. Now, this was not an overnight change for me, but as I've stuck with the thought that I can do my best and be confident that it was enough for my kids to thrive, makes peace so much easier to feel rather than constantly tormenting myself thinking. I didn't do enough and my kids' choices are all my fault. This is especially coming true as my kids are growing older and making their own choices and becoming adults, and I am feeling peace that I taught them the very best way I knew how, and it was enough. Trusting ourselves that we are capable of parenting that we're. Capable of figuring things out that we don't know and that our best is really good enough. As a mother, life is so full and busy. It's easy to just think that we're never feeling peace. I think that I felt peace more times than I recognized or slowed down enough to acknowledge, because I often had the mentality that peace was the end goal. I would think to myself, if I could just get through today, then after the kid's all in bed, then I will feel peace. Or if I can just get through this crazy week and then on the weekend when my husband's not working, then I will fill peace. And more often than not, that actually didn't happen. Something would happen. It was. Usually in the middle of the busyness of life that I remember feeling peaceful moments the most and I was usually involved in one or more of these peace expanders. When we take a moment to look at when we have done any of these peace expanding things, I think that we will find more moments than we realized. Remember, peace comes from within. Peace is not the end goal. Once everything is handled, it is something that we foster and grow in the middle of it all. Now because I believe small changes on the inside bring big results on the outside. Each week on my podcast, I'm going to give you a small change challenge, something small you could do throughout the week if you choose, that could end up bringing big results to your life. So the small change challenge for this week is to choose one of these peace expanders and to do one this week to help you expand the moments of peace in your week. Remember, small changes on the inside, bring big results on the outside. If you found this episode or any of them valuable, please share with other mamas we'd love to serve as many mamas as we can.

Thank you for joining me for another episode of Inside Out Mamas. My hope is that our time together inspires more feelings of peace, confidence, and joy in your mama journey. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a show. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, head over to brittany turley coaching.com to check out my digital workshop. Designed to help you reduce daily mom overwhelm without adding to your to-do list. Thanks for listening. And remember, small changes on the inside, bring big results on the outside.