The Neighborhood Podcast

"The Woman of Substance" (August 10, 2025 Sermon)

• Rev. Dr. Stephen M. Fearing

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Preaching: Rev. Dr. Stephen M. Fearing

Text: Proverbs 31:10-31

Proverbs 31 might be one of the most misunderstood and misapplied passages in scripture. What if this ancient text wasn't meant to burden women with impossible standards, but to celebrate and honor them?

This eye-opening exploration challenges traditional interpretations of the "woman of valor" passage that has too often been weaponized against women. Rather than a checklist of perfection that no real person could achieve, we discover how Jewish tradition uses these words as a blessing – traditionally sung by husbands to their wives each Sabbath evening as an expression of gratitude and admiration.

The Hebrew term "Eshet Chayil" (woman of valor) takes on new meaning when we understand it as a celebration rather than a criticism. As author Rachel Held Evans learned from her Jewish friends, this phrase functions as something like "you go girl!" – a way to honor women's achievements, strength, and dignity in everyday life. Valor isn't defined by checking every box on a spiritual performance review; it's about how you approach life with wisdom, generosity, and purpose.

Most refreshingly, we see how the qualities described in Proverbs 31 aren't gender-specific. The passage itself portrays a remarkably independent woman with agency and autonomy, challenging many traditional gender expectations. These characteristics of wisdom – being thoughtful, generous, hardworking, and forward-thinking – benefit everyone regardless of gender.

Try adopting the practice of declaring "Eshet Chayil" when you witness the women in your life demonstrating valor, not to suggest they need to earn your approval, but to celebrate who they already are. This simple shift transforms Proverbs 31 from burden to blessing, just as it was always meant to be.

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Speaker 1:

Let us pray, god, of hope, by faith. We know that you created the world and that what is seen is made by things that are not visible. Open our eyes to your presence among us, that we may hear your word with clarity and assurance of hope as we follow you in all righteousness, through Jesus Christ, our Lord, amen. So the scripture reading today is, as Stephen mentioned, from Proverbs 31, verse 10 through 31. A woman of strength who can find she is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm.

Speaker 1:

All the days of her life she seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from far away. She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and tasks for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it With the fruit of her hands. She plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all her household are clothed in crimson. She makes herself coverings. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Speaker 1:

Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them. She supplies the merchant with sashes. Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her happy. Her husband too, and he praises her. Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her a share in the fruit of her hands and let her praise her in the city gates. Holy wisdom, holy word. Thanks be to God.

Speaker 2:

Friends, let us pray, o Lord. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of all of our hearts be acceptable and pleasing in your sight, o Lord, our rock and our redeemer. Amen. All right, let's talk about the Proverbs. 31, woman also known as the woman of substance the Hebrew could also render that as the woman of strength or the woman of valor might be my personal favorite. To my knowledge, I've never preached on this scripture before. So let's see what happens. See what happens.

Speaker 2:

So each Sunday this summer we've explored at least one woman of the Old Testament, and today's woman's name is Wisdom. She comes to us from the book of Proverbs, and this is at the very tail end of the book of Proverbs and throughout the entirety of Proverbs and elsewhere in the Bible that talks about wisdom. In the Old Testament, the whole concept of wisdom is expressed in the feminine in Hebrew. So from the start, it's best not to see the woman of substance, as she is often called, as a literal person, but rather as a metaphor for the fruits of wisdom that I think we should all embrace, regardless of our gender. Perhaps the wisdom and the generosity that we see in the woman of substance is in fact a reflection of God, and we are in fact made in God's image, so perhaps we can be that reflection to others. Now, this text is a bit of a liturgical landmine of sorts, mainly not because of the text itself, but how it has often been interpreted over the years in ways that can impose pretty unreasonable expectations on women and girls. When viewed this way, we might very well call the woman of substance superwoman.

Speaker 2:

She wakes up every morning at 4 30 to meditate, to do yoga, pay the bills, prepare the kids lunches for school. She drops off the kids at school just in time to head to the office where she is mayor of her city. She spends her days negotiating business deals and settling disputes. She takes a 30-minute lunch break every day, in which she multitasked to schedule her social media posts for her Instagram feed, showcasing her perfectly immaculate home in every way, with every shot carefully arranged to hide any sort of mess or clutter. In the afternoon, she picks up the kids and takes them home, helps them with their homework while running a Zoom meeting for the local non-profit where she is the chair of the board. Then she cooks dinner, puts the children to bed before heading back to church to lead her weekly Bible studies, she swings by her parents' house to check to make sure that they've taken their medicine and paid their bills, and finally she makes home in time to pay her own bills and prepare food for the rest of the week. She goes to bed around midnight and she does the whole thing again the next day At 4.30 in the morning Sounds exhausting, doesn't it?

Speaker 2:

So I think that this text is especially troubling, not just for women but for all of us, when many of us already compare ourselves to idealized and manipulated images of life promoted by social media influencers. Proverbs 31 is ultimately a blessing. It's a text that's a blessing that I think has often been weaponized as a burden. Instead of using it to praise the women in our lives for all they do to lead, support, create and nurture, it has been used too often passive-aggress, passive, aggressively and been wielded to remind women of why they are not enough to culture standards. So I think perhaps a healthier interpretation of the woman of valor is to see her not as a single woman who does all things and is all things for all people, but as a symbol of the best qualities found in all of the women and girls around us. Expecting one person to embody such perfection in every aspect of their life is cruel. But viewing this poem because that's what it is, it's a poem, it's an acrostic, which means in the Hebrew each line is a different letter of the alphabet from start to finish. And so this beautiful poem is a bit of a love letter to all the women in our lives, and I think that's more of a gracious approach.

Speaker 2:

So as I was doing a little bit, as I said, I've never, to my knowledge I've never preached on this passage before. So as I was doing a little bit of research early last week, I learned that in many Jewish traditions the intended audience for this passage is not women. The intended audience is actually for men. In a Hasidic practice it involves men singing this song to their wives each and every Sabbath dinner, on Friday night as the sun goes down, as a way of praising their spouses and making them for everything that they do. Think that that kind of that changes this passage. So it's not really a weapon, but it is instead a way to honor the women and the girls among us.

Speaker 2:

So I find this a better, a less problematic way of the traditional practice in many churches of only reading this text either on you can probably guess at what day Mother's Day or at the funeral of a woman, which is all well and good. But when we only read that text in those contexts, it can get a little bit problematic. So I wonder, I wonder if there's a way that we can read this text without adding to the guilt the women in our lives already feel for not living up to patriarchal expectations. I wonder if, instead, I can one day read this to my two daughters to remind them of all that they are capable of doing and being. Hazel, grace and Winnie, I may, I might say one day you are capable of all these things. You can be, if you choose, to be, a supportive spouse, a successful business owner, an advocate for justice, a pillar of wisdom, and you can work hard to keep the trains running on time. But I will say to them those things are not a measure of your self-worth and they never have been. You are beloved by me and by your mom and by God, whether you do some, all or none of these things. What a message might that send to the women and girls among us? I also wonder what benefits we might gain ourselves from promoting these qualities as ideals for everyone to develop, regardless of gender. After all, all of the traits that are described in Proverbs 31 are not limited to any one gender. In my marriage, for example, tricia handles most of the finances and she runs her own small business, while I do most of the cooking and the cleaning. Our two daughters will see their father in the kitchen a lot more than their mother, and that's okay. That works for us. It might not work for you, but that's okay. So, interestingly, although Proverbs 31 has been used in some rather patriarchal ways, the text itself, I think, challenges much of our current gender politics.

Speaker 2:

The woman of valor in Proverbs 31 is no submissive wife. Instead, she's portrayed as an active agent practicing self-determination and independence. Just listen to some of the verbs she gets. Y'all know that I love verbs. She gets these verbs. She seeks, works, brings, provides, considers, perceives, opens, reaches, supplies and laughs. I like that verb too. I think these are all actions of a well-rounded person who is generous, kind, thoughtful and perceptive. So as I was prepping for this sermon, I was in the car with Tricia and the girls driving up to Richmond, virginia, last week and I asked Tricia what she thought about this passage and she reminded me of these words from the late great Rachel Held Evans. If you all haven't read her, I highly commend her works to you.

Speaker 2:

Rachel Held Evans had a Jewish friend named Ahava who taught her the following of this passage, and this is what Rachel Held Evans wrote. She said that her friend Ahava repeated a finding that I discovered in my research that the first line of Proverbs 31, a virtuous woman who can find is best translated a woman of valor who can find. The Hebrew is Eshet Chayil. Y'all say that with say Eshet Careful how you pronounce that. And now say Chayil, you got to get theayil going. So eshet chayil, say it with me. Eshet chayil, there you go. That's how you say woman of valor in Hebrew, and if you want to say a man of valor, it's simply gibor chayil. So to make this fact even more fun, rachel Held Evans says Ahava explained to me that she and her friends cheer one another with that blessing, celebrating everything from promotions to pregnancies, to acts of mercy and justice, to battles with cancer.

Speaker 2:

With a hearty esher chayil. You can think of it something like the Jewish form of you go girl. This discovery led me she keeps on writing. This discovery led me to declare woman of valor whenever a good friend finished seminary, when my mom beat breast cancer, when my sister ran a half marathon. According to Ahava, valor isn't what you do, but how you do it.

Speaker 2:

So she goes on to say if you're a stay-at-home mom, be a stay-at-home mom of valor. If you're a nurse, be a nurse of valor. If you are a CEO, a pastor or a barista at Starbucks, if you are rich or poor, single or married, do it all with valor. That's what makes you a Proverbs 31 woman. Not creating a life worthy of a Pinterest board, creating a life worthy of a Pinterest board. So, friends, let us consider the wisdom of this passage and be reminded that God doesn't call any of us to perfection, but to faithfulness. Hear the wisdom of this passage and give yourself a break. Hear the wisdom of this passage and give your significant other a break, because we all carry so much, and the last thing we need is to beat ourselves up for not being the proverbs 31 woman. 100 of the time.

Speaker 2:

If I'm honest with myself, I consider myself successful if I demonstrate 10 of the qualities mentioned in today's passage on any given day, and I'm also planning on giving myself a homework assignment this week. I am committed for the next seven days, every single day, to call Tricia and the girls a woman of valor, whenever there is something that just fills my heart with joy or makes me proud of them. Whenever Tricia is helping a client with mental health, I will say. When Hazel Grace feels anxious about trying something new, but pushes through and does it anyways, I will say say it with me, eshet Chayil. When Winnie picks up her toys and puts her dish in the sink, I'll say to her Eshet Chayil, you know, and again, I will do this not to suggest that they need to do these things for me to love them. Instead, I want to remind them of what they already are Esher Chayil, women and girls of valor.

Speaker 2:

And I think that this practice, too, also might make me a better husband and a better father in the process. So if you're inclined, take some time this week to declare an important woman or girl in your life, to be an Esher Chayil. If you want to declare a man or boy of valor in your life, you can say Gebor Chayil. So that is your Hebrew lesson for the day. May we never cease to give thanks for the women and girls of valor in our life. In the name of God, the creator, redeemer and sustainer, may all of us, men and women of valor in our life, in the name of God, the creator, redeemer and sustainer, may all of us, men and women of valor, say Amen, yes, very good.