the second best time - starting in the mess

the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.

the second best time is today.

it is so easy to get stuck in the undeniable truth that things would be better/easier/faster if we started them earlier, or had better working conditions. this episode is all about how i work through that truth and give myself permission to start it messy, and do it in pieces. 

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Grad School is Hard, But...is a podcast by Dr. Katy Peplin of Thrive PhD! learn more at thrive-phd.com - can't wait to get to know you better, or get access to my free falling planning workshop here!

Transcript

  📍  Welcome to Grad School is Hard, But... A Thrive PhD podcast. I'm Dr. Katy Peplin and this is a show for everyone who's doing the hard work of being a human and a scholar. 

In this season,

I'll be sharing the anchor phrases, tools, and strategies that underpin all of the work that I do with clients as part of Thrive PhD, and of course, the things that work for me as I attempt to be a human and a scholar.

And make sure you check out the link in the show notes for my working more intentionally tool kit. Which is available for you totally for free. Now let's get into it

 Today I'm gonna talk to you about one of the phrases that I use all of the time to help get myself moving when things are less than ideal. That saying is the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the second best time is today. I.  Now I'm a logical person and I bet you are a logical person as well, and it can be so easy to get stuck in that undeniable truth that almost everything that we're working on would benefit from more time, more resources.

More planning ahead, more strategy. Who hasn't sat down and thought, man, this would be so much easier if I had just started last week, or if I had just gotten this plan moving earlier, or if I had done X, Y, or Z. And let's face it, you're not wrong. It would be easier with more time. It would be easier with more resources.

It would be easier to do what you had to do today if you had started it yesterday.  But it's so easy to get stuck in that first part of the saying that the best time was 20 years ago and not focus on the second part about what it would look like to start today. The second best option.  Now, you might not be sitting at your desk thinking, man, you know.

I couldn't get this started a month ago, so there's no point in starting it today. I guess I'll just give up and, you know shop for pens online. You might be able to tell that. I'm very interested in stationary right now. It's my kind of hyper fixation window shopping thing. Very few people are doing this to the letter where they're like, man, you know, I can't do it perfectly, so I'm just not going to do it at all.

But I see this happening in things like,  okay. I won't be able to start this this week, but next week I'll have a full slate. You know, I'll have a blank slate.  I'll be able to focus on this a hundred percent. So I'm gonna wait for next week. I'm gonna wait for the top of the hour. I'm gonna wait for the next Pomodoro.

I'm gonna wait for next semester or next month or next year, or when I get tenure. Lots of people think about this kind of like perfect conditions, and that's really what this phrase gets at for me, that sure. If you had perfect conditions. It would be easier and better to start underneath those perfect conditions.

But what if we think about the second best conditions, which usually means getting started. Now  it's less poetic and satisfying to get part of something started. I'm gonna be the first one to admit to you that this is something that I'm really personally struggling with. Before I became a parent, I had more time and energy and resources to get things done, and I used to be able to sit down and do whole tasks in one go.

I could draft, write, edit, and send something. All without stopping if I wanted to. And now I sit here recording this podcast with one eye on a baby monitor, hoping that that baby stays asleep as long as he can so that I can maybe get this podcast recorded because I drafted it last night. I know I'm gonna have to edit it later.

If I'm lucky, I'll get it posted today.  It's just the reality. And so if I wait for a.  Perfect set of conditions, I'm probably never gonna get there. I'm probably never going to find that perfect window where the baby is sleeping and I am rested and everything is under control in my inbox and nobody needs me anywhere else and I can do it.

And it's really easy for me to get stuck in the man. I should have just done this yesterday when I actually did laundry, or I handled something that was more pressing or I could only get myself to, search for a couple new books in the library that I know I wanted to read, and that was literally all the brain power that I had.

It's so easy to be like, yeah, I wish. But the second best option is for me to do it. Now, the second best option is for me to do it in pieces. The second best option is for me to try it, experiment, hit a wall, and know for tomorrow or for the next day, or for whenever I get back to it again, that that path isn't gonna work. 

Very, very rarely do I talk to anyone who regrets getting something started. Having half of an assignment that you need to have drafted for your class helps when you sit down to start it again, having a draft or an outline or some post-it note thoughts about the thing that you need to write this afternoon.

They help, they make it a little bit easier. Your brain isn't wrong. It would be better to do all of these things having started earlier or under more ideal conditions. And it can be helpful sometimes to be like, yeah, brain, you're right. This would be better, this would be easier, but. The next best thing is for me to get a little bit of motion on it right now.

This is the next best thing, the second best thing. And unlike getting magical, more time or a time machine, or more resources or changing the kind of very real conditions of your working life today. Getting started now, planting that metaphorical tree. It's still possible.  This is a short and sweet idea with the hopes that maybe you hear it and it hits you and you think, okay, what's the next smallest thing that I can do today?

What's the thing that feels possible? Hearkening back to last week's episode. I am there with you in the thick of it, doing bits, doing pieces, and moving forward what I can when I can. Thank you so much and I will see you soon.  

   📍  Thank you for listening to Grad School is Hard, but... You can find more information and resources in the show notes and at thrive-phd.com.  Every month, I'll select one reviewer for a free 45 minute session with me. So please subscribe, rate, and review to help spread the word about the show.  Thanks so much and I'll see you again soon!