Why Sensory Supports Are a Parent's Best Friend on Travel Days

Managing Sensory Regulation During International Travel

In this episode of the Globally Thriving Families Podcast, host Clare O'Byrne, a parent coach and occupational therapist, dives into practical strategies for international travel with children. Clare addresses the various sensory needs individuals face during travel and offers concrete advice on managing these challenges. From preparing sensory systems with 'heavy work' activities to handling emotional prep with social stories, Clare provides a comprehensive guide. She also shares personal experiences and reassurances for parents, emphasizing the importance of self-care and co-regulation during stressful travel situations.

00:00 Introduction to Globally Thriving Families
01:09 Preparing for Travel with Sensory Supports
02:44 Understanding Sensory Systems
06:22 Pre-Trip Sensory Preparation
11:52 Travel Day Strategies
17:41 Managing Meltdowns and Co-Regulation
23:18 Arrival and Resetting
24:59 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
25:26 Outro and Contact Information

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Downloadable activities for kids: @keepusbuzymum (Instagram)

Connect with Clare: globally.thriving@gmail.com

Website: https://www.globallythriving.com

Connect with Clare on Instagram: http://instagram.com/globally_thriving

Book a free 20 minute call with Clare: https://tidycal.com/globallythriving/20-minute-meeting

Transcript

0:06

Are you a parent or caregiver raising your child internationally? Are you curious about how to nurture your child's development? But find all the parenting information out there confusing? If so, you are in the right place. Welcome to the Globally Thriving Families Podcast. I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, a parent coach and occupational therapist with a passion for supporting children and their families for more than 25 years. Whether it's understanding how to build resilience to practical tips for language development, screen time challenges, and staying calm amongst the chaos, Globally Thriving Families is here to help. Join me as we explore the topics that give you the insights and guidance you need to support your children to thrive. No matter where your family's adventures take you. Hello and welcome to another episode of Globally Thriving Families. Today we are talking about travel, and this is timely, I think for many of you who are getting to the end of the school year right about now, and especially for international families who might also be traveling back to their home countries over the long. Break. So as I'm recording this, I'm also preparing to travel in a few days. I want to help you think about how you can use sensory supports for big journeys, and I'm going to break it down a little bit into what you can think about pre-trip on the day of travel, and also the first day after you arrive. To help both you and your kids to try to optimize the experience. I have taken many, many flights with my kids since they were babies, and every time I travel with them, especially when they were younger, I felt like I learned a lot. For the next time. And I know it's not always easy. Sometimes it's exhausting. And also if you are solo traveling with your kids, which can often happen, there's just so many layers of things that you have to think about. And even if your kids are older, this information isn't just useful for parents who have young kids because we all have a sensory system, so we all have sensory needs. So keep listening because the information can be applied to any age group. So firstly. What do I even mean by sensory support? So we actually have eight senses. Yes. Eight, not five. So there's hearing, vision, taste, smell, and touch. But then we also have these other three senses, which are related to our body awareness, our balance, and our internal body signals. And they are just as important as the others to guide the way we respond to our environment, basically. So why does sensory supports even help? Well. We have to think about the experience of travel as a whole. So especially at key times of the year, at the end of term travel, can often go alongside other changes like the school holidays coming up. So routines that were once quite predictable, start to really vary. Now, we've just had the last week of term and it was a very different week to what it usually is, you know, there's dress up days, there's celebrations, there's like a ton of snacks. And that change in routine can really impact our kids and ourselves. I'm sure if you are at the end of term right now, you could be really frazzled and tired too because of all the extra things that you had to plan and prepare for. So we want to go into this, travel period as regulated as possible. So one way to think about the sensory system is as though it is an empty cup. Okay? We're going to use this analogy. So on travel days itself, there are so many sensory components to it. So there's the unpredictability of the routine. Its the waiting around. Maybe there's some delays that you weren't expecting. Then there could be an element of urgency all of a sudden, and you have to rush. There's noise, there's smells. You're in close proximity to other people. You can't eat what you want when you want. There's a lack of sleep, and especially if you're starting on a sleep deficit because you had to get up early to take the flight. Then there's temperature changes. You might be freezing in the AC or you could feel really hot and bothered and sweaty because you've just been running with your hand luggage to get to the gate. Your kids, they wanna buy stuffies and key chains and chocolate at every shop in the departures lounge. And then there's the body sensations. When you're flying, your ears might be popping, sensitive stomach during the landing or during turbulence. So all those things add something to this empty cup, and then what happens? This cup can start to overflow. When it overflows, that's when you start to see meltdowns and dysregulation and crying. And you know what happens then is we, as the parents, we have to manage that dysregulation and our sensory cup is starting to overflow at the same time. Now if your child is neurodivergent, then they may be even a bit more sensitive to some of these components as well. And I'm sure you've already noticed, which components impact you and your children of those ones that I've just mentioned. This is why tuning into your own sensory needs and your kids' needs is so valuable because it can actually make or break the whole experience. When you are aware of something, you can prepare for some of these eventualities and have some possible strategies in place to support the whole experience. Okay, so let's get into it. What do you need to think about pre-trip and what might help? So the main thing pre-trip is that you want to be giving your body and brain a head start. You're prepping your sensory system for this crazy day that's coming up. Okay? The number one thing I love when it comes to meeting sensory needs is something called heavy work. So if you've listened to, um, a previous episode on afterschool mood swings, you'll know that I talked about the power of using heavy work or proprioception. To regulate our sensory system. What I mean by that is to regulate our sensory system basically means our body is organized. It might be calm, but that's not necessarily the goal, and it's not overwhelmed and it's not understimulated. It's kind of just at the right level. And so, using heavy work activities helps us with our proprioception sense. That's one of our eight senses. Now, I don't wanna get too wordy and bogged down with that today, but this is a good one to understand. So proprioception is our body's awareness of where it is in space. It's, how we know where our arms and legs are without even looking or knowing how much pressure to use when we pick something up or when we give somebody a hug so that information comes to us through our joints and our muscles. So activities like pushing and pulling or lifting something or jumping, gives our body lots of proprioceptive input. So before travel day, you want to give your child and yourself lots of opportunity for heavy work. So that could be with climbing, with jumping, with playing at the playground, but I know if it's too hot where you're living, then right now, that might not be, feasible. So maybe you can take them to, indoor play places where they can get that kind of movement. And heavy work in. But if you can't get them to an indoor PlayPlace either, then you have to think about creating these opportunities at home. So building forts, moving the couch cushions, and the chairs and the furniture around. Grabbing the suitcases and getting them over to their bedroom. Yes, it makes a mess. I know, but trust me, the benefits that your child will be getting, in terms of preparing their body will be worth it. Okay? Try and get them involved in the packing too. And I know that might not be efficient, but it gives an opportunity for great movement. It's that heavy work. And it also gives something called vestibular input. So our vestibular system helps us with balance and movement. So that's another one of those eight senses Think about the cognitive benefits of them having to put some thought into something they wanna bring. Even if it's things that you end up emptying out, don't worry about it. All of those things are so good for the development, deciding what clothes they're gonna wear, bringing what stuffies, or what toys, it's also gonna keep them busy for a little bit of time. Okay, so that's their body prep. Now, let's think about if they need some emotional prep as well. So some kids might benefit or need this more than others, and obviously you know your child the best, but if the unpredictability of travel is challenging for them, then previewing what's gonna happen can be really helpful to reduce those surprises. Sometimes that ongoing unpredictability can actually contribute to them becoming dysregulated on those journeys, you know? It could be the thing that fills that sensory cup just a bit too much. So then it overflows. So let's see if that support ahead of time can lessen that chance of a meltdown. So something you can do there to prepare them in this way. And it's in the therapy world. We use these social stories. So that's a, well, it's a story that. Is a clear and simple way of preparing a child for something that's gonna happen. So let's think about the plane ride specifically. Okay. It would be some very simple sentences with some illustration or a picture that tells a story of what's gonna happen. So for instance, we will go to the airport in a taxi. We will wait in line. We will drop off our cases. We will get a snack. I might get bored. I can eat my snack or I can hold my toy. So. It sounds really simple, and these social stories are tailored to a specific child, so you can write something out for them and include some pictures, and you're basically giving them the heads up about what will happen and what they will do or what they can do. You can also look on YouTube if you want some examples of that as well. It does not have to be fancy at all. Simple is best because it has to be something that makes sense to your child. You can also use a visual schedule with just words and pictures and graphics if you don't want to actually tell the story about it. And again, depending on the age and the needs of your child, just think about what kind of emotional prep they may need that will help them stay regulated. So now let's think about travel day. So there are tangible things that will support them throughout the day. And so that's things like getting in movement wherever possible. So usually there are periods of sitting around, um, at the airport for instance. And so using the expanse of the airport for a walk, maybe there's the play area, but if there isn't the play area, that's okay. You have to get a little bit creative with giving them some challenges. Like maybe how many times can they jump in a minute? Um, or let's walk the length of the airport and don't step on the cracks on the tile, et cetera, et cetera. Also get them to carry a backpack that's proportional to their size. And if you put some of their essential items in a book or a toy, a stuffy, or even their iPad, um, that's actually also going to give them proprioceptive input once they're moving around. And I'm telling you, that is going to be gold. If you can stop and have a little stretch in a corner somewhere, and if you have little kids, think about how you can, make that playful, you know, if you are handing them things, do it from a height so they have to reach in different directions. Maybe you can hide something in, you know, the immediate space around you that they can go looking for. I mean, it sounds like nothing. But. These are just micro opportunities for movement and playfulness that can really help add to the whole picture of the day. Remember, anything that I'm talking about here, not one specific thing is going to be the savior, but it's the micro things that you do really add to that whole picture of the day in terms of how regulated you are and how regulated the kids are. Now we have to talk about snacks. Okay. Now, if you can have your child eat particularly chewy and crunchy snacks, then that's also giving them proprioception for the jaw. It's so regulating. Maybe they can have a thick smoothie at the airport, pretzels, carrot sticks, chewing gum, that kind of thing. And also on the flight itself. You can also use snacks periodically to help them with that too. Another thing might be some light compression. So that could be just as simple as having their backpack on their lap, even with their stuff in, can help give them some proprioceptive input, or if you've got a weighted lap pad or something. If you're able to, then if they can come out of their seat and they can sit on your knee briefly so you can give them a squeezy hug, all of those things then can give them just the right amount of heavy work that they need to help stop them, lose it. Have you noticed the pattern here? I'm talking about proprioception and heavy work. So now you know why it's so valuable to know about and it really is your best friend on these travel days. Okay, now let's talk about screen. So. Every family has their own view about using screens on planes. So obviously do what is right for you and if you don't want to use screens, then you need to think about what activities you'll be bringing to keep them engaged and have that prepped beforehand. So bringing some lightweight and compact stuff like stickers, crayons, and notebooks, maybe some fidget toys, mini Lego or blocks.. Something that they can keep both hands busy at the same time, you can also get these. Cute, uh, gel window, stickers that cling to the window, but can be removed really easily. So that's some another thing that, uh, obviously isn't permanent, but can keep them busy for a few minutes at a time. I also love theraputty. It's like Play-Doh, but with resistance in it. So it's great actually for strengthening little hands. And you guessed it, it counts as heavy work too. My friend Raffiah, whom I interviewed on episode six, she also creates activities for children for long plane journeys. So I will put a link to her Instagram, keep us busy on the show notes as well. Now, of course, it's not just the kids that have sensory needs, you have them too. So chewing, using light compression for yourself, blocking out extra visual stimulation, maybe with a hoodie, um, using noise canceling headphones, et cetera, might also help for you. And getting up periodically for movement is really valuable and. Something like even doing some standing pushups against the bathroom door, which I don't know, maybe that's grosses you out just touching the bathroom door more than you need to. But doing some standing pushups gives you a bit of heavy work, which on a plane is hard to get otherwise. Um, and another thing, just a reminder to. Tune in to your need to go to the bathroom for you and your kids. And I know that can be tough. I remember one of my kids was really scared of the super loud flush on a plane, which does sound really, really loud. So it was really hard to get her to go. Um, but it is so important to still tune into those, internal body signals for you and for them, and if the flush is too loud and they're scared, then just let them go out of the bathroom and then you can flush it afterwards. It's okay if you get funny looks from the passengers, you're just doing what you need to do for your kids. Now, of course you can do all of the above and still find yourself managing a meltdown on the plane, which, oh my gosh, it's not fun at all. Uh, I know, but you can see how it comes about.'cause all those components I've mentioned can overload the nervous system. It is filling that sensory cup just a bit too much and sometimes kids have to release that. You know, we feel this stuff too, but we're mostly able to control how we respond to it, but they can't. So we have to switch in that moment to support mode and co-regulation and as uncomfortable as it is for us because of the noise of the crying. And we are also dealing with our own sensory cup. And knowing that other passengers are maybe not enjoying it either and getting fed up with us, that adds to our discomfort. You know, I wanna tell you a story. Something that happened to me years and years ago, it reminded me just talking about this of a time when my kids were seven months, and then the other one would've been 26 months. We were on a night flight from Canada to the UK to visit my family. And there was this one point in the journey, my toddler was getting quite overtired and she was crying a bit. She was getting dysregulated. And I had my baby in a carrier on me asleep. And my husband and I, we were both trying to help my daughter and we were getting a little bit stressed ourselves because, you know, it was nighttime and people were starting to. Fall asleep on the plane and we really just wanted her to fall asleep too. But I remember on the flight, the woman in front of my daughter's seat, she was looking back at us a couple of times. She didn't say anything, but I remember noticing that she was looking back at us. And eventually my daughter fell asleep. I'm not sure how long it took. Um, but I do remember thinking as well when the flight finished, you know, oh, that wasn't so bad. There was a bit of a period where there was crying, but overall I thought it went well. But as we were getting off the flight and walking down that tunnel to go to towards arrivals, the woman as she walked past me. She said, and I remember it really clearly, she said as she walked past, you are a bad mom now. She didn't look at me and I wasn't looking straight at her because, um, I was just tending to my kids. But I heard it really clearly,. And my stomach, it just sank. And I was so shocked. I couldn't believe somebody had actually said this out loud to me. And you know, I also hadn't slept that entire flight and I was exhausted and I just burst into tears. It was so surreal. I actually thought that that flight went pretty well, all things considered. So I was trying to figure out like why she would've said that, what was so bad, um, that it would've caused her to actually say to me out loud that I'm a bad mom. But you know, thinking about it 10 years out, having 10 years distance from that situation, I have so much compassion for me and my husband at the time because we spent that flight so devoted to just getting through it without too much stress and doing what we needed to do for the kids. And that in itself is exhausting. It's that hypervigilance, right? Not only to our kids' needs, but also thinking of the people around us because. We don't want to feel that judgment and then that shame, do we, you know, that lady, she saw a snapshot of us and I really don't know what stirred up such strong feelings for her. Um, you know, but as parents, we can't control our kids entirely. Kids can't stay perfectly calm and they don't need to. They are going to cry in public. It's an essential way for them to communicate their needs, and it's, it's developmentally appropriate and you know I know,, in those really hard moments, we are doing our absolute best. You can't stop a meltdown once it's happening. At that point, you can only provide comfort and support, and it's called co-regulation. So we offer our presence to our kids through being close to them, maybe holding them, comforting them, using our voice, talking to them, and even the way we are looking at them, we are lending our calm to them in that moment. And that is how they gradually return to a more regulated state, not by telling them to stop crying. As hard as it is if we can try to block out the others around us. And in those moments, just focus solely on our child. Take some deep breaths for ourself and remember that what we are doing and saying in those moments are so valuable to our child. And that is how you get through those situations. Okay, so now you've finally arrived to your destination. Taking the next day or two to reset a little bit in these new surroundings, if possible, is going to be so beneficial. So if you can get fresh air and morning sunlight to help reset the circadian rhythm a bit and giving your kids lots of unstructured play and movement so that they can get some freedom back. And focusing on those simple routines, just the movement, the fresh air, hydration, and food, getting used to the different surroundings and sleeping arrangements. And if you're able to keep some routines familiar, like the bedtime, um, the books, the songs, the stories, even what they eat, that will help give them a sense of safety in that time. So. Hopefully looking at travel from a sensory point of view has given you some insights into all the ways in which travel can be a lot for our sensory system and our nervous system as a whole. And hopefully that analogy of the sensory cup helps you visualize what kind of things add to it and, and why those meltdowns might occur. Um, you know, sensory supports, they don't have to be fancy and remember that they are needed for you too. It's not just about your kids. Also, this is just a snapshot of some of the things that might help. There are tons of things that you can try and check out because you kind of have to experiment with what works for you and what works for your kids. And finally, I want you to remember that somebody else's discomfort with your child's emotions says nothing about you as a parent. Okay? So keep going. Good luck with any big travel and. If you do implement any of these strategies or think about this kind of framework, I would love to know how it worked for you. Thanks so much for listening. See you next time. If anything in this episode sparked something for you, I'd love to hear about it. You can find me on Instagram at globally_thriving, or you can reach out to me on my website. Globally thriving.com Also, if you are curious about parent coaching and if it might be right for you, you can book a free 20 minute call via the link in the show notes, and we can have a no pressure conversation just to find out more about it. See you next time.