Summer Shorts: Embracing Boredom is a Skill - 3 Ways to Help Your Child Handle It.

Embracing Boredom: Strategies for International Parents

In this episode of Globally Thriving Families, host Clare O'Byrne discusses the challenges and benefits of boredom for children, especially during school holidays. She explores why boredom is beneficial for developing executive function skills and offers practical strategies for parents to help their children manage boredom without constantly needing to provide entertainment. Clare emphasizes the importance of starting with safe activities, brainstorming creative ideas, and ensuring that children's sensory needs are met. The episode aims to provide insights and support for parents navigating the complexities of raising children internationally.

00:00 Introduction to Globally Thriving Families
01:02 Summer Shorts: Addressing 'I'm Bored'
02:36 The Benefits of Boredom
03:48 Challenges of Boredom for Different Kids
05:30 Practical Tips to Scaffold Boredom
06:17 Creative Ideas to Combat Boredom
08:58 Ensuring Regulation Before Activities
10:08 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
11:05 Stay Connected and Further Support

Connect with Clare: clare@globallythriving.com

Get the Free 5 Minute Parenting Reset for Busy Globally Mobile Families: Website: https://www.globallythriving.com

Connect with Clare on Instagram: http://instagram.com/globally_thriving

Book a free 20 minute call with Clare: https://tidycal.com/globallythriving/20-minute-meeting

Transcript

0:04

Are you a parent or caregiver raising your child internationally? Are you curious about how to nurture your child's development? But find all the parenting information out there confusing? If so, you are in the right place. Welcome to the Globally Thriving Families Podcast. I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, a parent coach and occupational therapist with a passion for supporting children and their families for more than 25 years. Whether it's understanding how to build resilience to practical tips for language development, screen time challenges, and staying calm amongst the chaos, Globally Thriving Families is here to help. Join me as we explore the topics that give you the insights and guidance you need to support your children to thrive. No matter where your family's adventures take you. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Globally Thriving Families, and this is the second of my summer shorts episode, which is basically bite sized episodes during the school holidays that is gonna give you encouragement, some insight, and practical support for international parenting. Today I want to talk about the phrase parents hear quite a bit, particularly in the school holidays. How do you feel and respond when you hear your kids exclaim," i'm bored". I know those words can be quite grating because now it seems there's a problem to solve on our part. Do you ever feel that pressure to fill every moment, especially in the long school holidays with stuff to entertain our kids? And I do realize that sometimes that is absolutely out of necessity, such as when both parents are working and having to be really intentional and structured and account for our kids' time whilst we're not with them. But I'm thinking about the summer camps and the play dates and the day trips and outings and activities that we've seen on Pinterest. It's almost as if we have some discomfort with our kids boredom. Now you've probably heard advice recommending to'let them be bored', and that is great in theory because boredom is really beneficial, but it's not as simple as that. And you may already know this, but if not, let's quickly go through it. The reason why boredom is beneficial for kids is that it creates an opportunity for using and developing the all important executive function skills. So these are those skills that come from the prefrontal cortex in the brain, which is k ind of like our brain's air traffic control system. So skills such as working memory and reasoning and prioritizing and planning and organization and inhibition and emotional regulation. They are just some of the executive functions skills that we develop. Now. boredom is brilliant because it creates space for imagination and creativity and problem solving, and also practicing frustration tolerance. So basically moving through the initial discomfort of not having something concrete to do. These skills are essential throughout our life, and they only really develop through having the opportunities to practice them. But the issue is the idea of just let your kids be bored, also needs some nuance. Not all kids experience boredom the same way. Also, as I asked that question at the beginning, how do you feel when your child says, I'm bored? Because sometimes we parents can also feel the urge to solve boredom as quickly as possible. Now, there could be many reasons why we do this. Parents are so often overstimulated and overwhelmed at different times in their parenting life, and having to keep everyone engaged and safe is just another thing to add to the plate. You may have experienced this with your child, or if you have more than one child, perhaps you've noticed that one of them seems to handle boredom differently to the other. Now that makes total sense because our brains are unique and therefore we have different ways of experiencing the world around us. Also, if your child is neurodivergent or highly sensitive or anxious, boredom can actually be really unsettling and even distressing. Definitely not relaxing or inspiring, and sometimes can lead a child to become quite dysregulated. When it gets to that point, the prefrontal cortex goes offline, and those skills that boredom is supposed to develop and use are not being recruited or developed. Not only is that a lost opportunity, but it's now possibly also become something bigger and more stressful to deal with. So if that happens in your house, I can understand why you might be reluctant to create space for boredom. But how can you scaffold boredom for your child so that they can develop these skills without you feeling like you're the entertainment coordinator in the household 24/7? Here's some practical suggestions that I'm gonna offer you that come from both my lived experience as a parent and my professional experience as an OT and parent coach. Now with the kids that have a harder time with boredom, there could be many reasons why exactly. The open-endedness of boredom can be really challenging for kids who thrive on structure and rules. And if they already have some challenges with their executive function skills, they might not be quite ready for initiating the tasks all on their own and managing the discomfort around that. So it's a bit of a catch 22. Boredom helps develop executive function, but embracing boredom also requires these skills. Here's three ideas you can think about trying. Firstly, start with something safe, then explore. If your child struggles with boredom, then expecting them to get on with it might just be too much. We have this phrase in child development called the'just right challenge.' That means offering a task or an experience that's not too easy, which could be boring, not too hard, which could be overwhelming, but just enough to peak curiosity and stretch their skills a little bit. So start with an activity that you can get set up. Nothing fancy, whether it's art materials or construction toys. And I love anything to do with recycling because there's so many ideas that can come out of that. and encourage them with some curiosity of your own, such as,"oh, I wonder what you can make with this.?" Pick something that you know they will enjoy. And work alongside them initially just to get them started. Now, an older child or a tween, might just need some materials left out as a bit of an invitation to engage. And once they get started, you can gently retreat from the activity and let them extend it themselves. Try not to direct them too much or tell them what to do with the materials, because we do want our kids to start creating and leading themselves in play. Secondly, you can also maybe before the fact, brainstorm with them a list of things. Write them down on a piece of paper, fold up the papers for them to maybe pick out of a bowl or a jar at any point during the school holidays. So encourage them to think of a few crazy or silly things too. So you can have the usual standard things like the puzzles or the coloring, and then put in a few playful things too, like maybe only walk backwards around the house for five minutes, or put on as many of your clothes as possible. I did this once with my son when he was about seven, and I think we got about 45 minutes of, um, independent play out of it. It was pretty funny. If they're a bit older, maybe they can make a stop motion video with their Lego people or build something out of recyclables. You know, there are tons of different things that could be done depending on your child's developmental level and interest. But if you can brainstorm with them ahead of time and create this sort of, uh, menu or resource for them that you can get them to go to and pick an idea out of the jar every once in a while when they say that they're bored, then that might be one way of, um, just getting through that tricky moment. Thirdly, make sure that everyone is actually regulated first. So if your kid is coming to you and saying they're bored and they're getting grumpy. Tune into the sensory needs first. So are they hungry? Are they tired? Are they actually needing some co-regulation and connection? Do they need some heavy work? Now, I've talked about all of these concepts in previous episodes, so if you haven't had a chance to listen, you can go back to them. They're a very quick listen., If you can attend to those sensory needs first, that is gonna help your child cope with that feeling of boredom. If you want your child to do an activity that is a more calm activity, then they need to have a regulated nervous system to be able to do that. So using heavy work or movement beforehand, such as a trip to the park or building a fort or doing animal walks around the apartment or house might be a good warmup activity first, because then you'll have a better chance of stretching out some independent play. So they are three ideas that you can apply to your own circumstances with your child, and when your child proclaims, I'm bored this week or next week, pause for a few seconds before responding. Take a breath. Don't rush into fixing it. Think about those three things. So giving a head, start brainstorming with fun ideas and tuning into their other sensory needs. Remember that embracing boredom is a skill and skill develop over time and with practice. It doesn't happen overnight. Boredom involves many executive function skills. So I hope that having this insight will mean that you can give both your child and yourself some grace when managing boredom over the long school holidays. Thanks so much for listening and see you next time. If anything in this episode sparked something for you, I'd love to hear about it. You can find me on Instagram at globally_thriving, or you can reach out to me on my website. Globally thriving.com Also, if you are curious about parent coaching and if it might be right for you, you can book free 20 minute call via the link in the show notes, and we can have a no pressure conversation just to find out more about it. See you next time.