Summer Shorts: Parenting While Living out of a Suitcase (and What That Does to Us)

Insights into the Challenges of Summer Travel for Globally Mobile Families

In this episode of the Globally Thriving Families Podcast, host Clare O'Byrne discusses the challenges international parents face during summer travel. Clare addresses executive function overload, regulatory and routine issues, sensory overload, loss of autonomy, and the impact of cultural and generational differences. She offers insights and acknowledges the complexities of traveling with children, and prepares listeners for upcoming strategies to better manage these challenges. Clare also invites listeners to connect with her on Instagram or her website, and to consider parent coaching through a free consultation call.

00:00 Introduction to Globally Thriving Families
01:03 Summer Short Series: Parenting on the Go
01:47 Challenges of Traveling with Kids
02:49 Executive Function Overload
04:30 Regulation, Routine, and Sensory Overload
05:56 Loss of Autonomy and Cultural Dynamics
07:18 Identity and Emotional Tension
08:20 Conclusion and Next Steps

Connect with Clare: clare@globallythriving.com

Get the Free 5 Minute Parenting Reset for Busy Globally Mobile Families: Website: https://www.globallythriving.com

Connect with Clare on Instagram: http://instagram.com/globally_thriving

Book a free 20 minute call with Clare: https://tidycal.com/globallythriving/20-minute-meeting

Transcript

0:05

Are you a parent or caregiver raising your child internationally? Are you curious about how to nurture your child's development? But find all the parenting information out there confusing? If so, you are in the right place. Welcome to the Globally Thriving Families Podcast. I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, a parent coach and occupational therapist with a passion for supporting children and their families for more than 25 years. Whether it's understanding how to build resilience to practical tips for language development, screen time challenges, and staying calm amongst the chaos, Globally Thriving Families is here to help. Join me as we explore the topics that give you the insights and guidance you need to support your children to thrive. No matter where your family's adventures take you.

Clare: 1:03

Welcome back to Globally Thriving Families, and today we are continuing with the Summer Short series, which is short episodes to give you encouragement, insight, and practical strategies for international parenting, particularly over the school holiday. Now, have you ever felt like your whole parenting rhythm gets thrown out the window, the moment you're living out of a suitcase? You know, you're sleeping in other people's homes. No one is getting to bed at a reasonable time. Your eating habits are all off.You can't find the sunscreen or your hairbrush. And if you're the parent, then you're probably the one holding it all together. Let's talk about what's going on when your summer feels kind of scattered and all over the place. If you're a globally mobile family, then being able to travel back to your home country during the school holidays, it's a privilege. It might not always be possible, but when it does happen, it's great to reconnect with friends and family. It's also a great opportunity for our kids to connect with their heritage and experience aspects of life that maybe they don't experience during the school year. And the more relaxed schedule can give us all a break from those early alarm calls and just the chaos of life during term time. Of course, alongside the good times and the joy, there can also be a hidden load that is really worth acknowledging. So for me personally, whilst I love visiting Canada or the UK over the summer, I also find it quite challenging to live out of a suitcase for weeks at a time and all that comes with it. And I've noticed that it's getting a little harder as each year passes. So why might some of us be feeling this way? Let's explore some of the issues that might be happening. So firstly, there's executive function overload. So when we first moved to the Middle East as a family, I really looked forward to traveling over the summer. The kids were very young at first, and we planned meetups with friends who had kids the same age and outings with relatives, et cetera. And we also signed them up for summer camp so that they could maintain some structure and try new activities. So it was all good stuff. What I also remember about that time, and what still happens to an extent, is that scheduling all the different meetups and activities just takes so much coordination. I still print out a blank calendar for the whole month, and my husband and I write out a list of people that we're hoping to connect with. So we usually have three lists. One is the mutual friends that we want to all see as a family, and then he has some separate friends of his own. And then I have separate friends too, so we try and coordinate around everyone's own vacation schedules too, because it's not just us on vacation. And did I mention that we move between two cities, which are three hours apart when we're in Canada?. Now I'm sharing this because this is one example of how the executive function load can impact our experiences of being home. Whilst on an individual basis. I really love connecting with people, the overall mental gymnastics of fitting in quality time and visits and play dates and summer camps can just be a bit too much sometimes. Now, I'm thankful that my close friends understand this and if it doesn't work out one year, then we try and make it work for the next year. Then there's the issue of regulation and routine. So, often in the summer when we're away, kids particularly lose the structure to their day that they may have come to rely on. Their sleep might be disrupted by jet lag and late nights and even extra snacking and loads more treats than they usually have, and the loss of nap times maybe, and just being in a different climate and then also packing in more activities than usual in a single day to make the most of the time. Now being more relaxed about these things can work to our advantage, but they can also lead to meltdowns and it isn't just the kids. All of these scenarios apply to us too. And what goes hand in hand with regulation and routine is sensory overload. So if you've listened to the previous episode, you'll know that our environment really impacts our sensory regulation. So there's the different foods that we're eating, maybe different smells that we're experiencing, even the feel of the bedding on our skin, the temperature inside or outside, being hugged by multiple relatives and expectations around being friendly and well-behaved can overload our kids' sensory system or ours. Even the visual clutter from literally living out of your suitcase and not having a place to put your things can contribute to your sensory cup getting overfilled. And then next there is the loss of autonomy. This might not apply to everybody, but if your summer involves staying at other people's houses, then there are added dynamics with that too. Sometimes that can be so fun and exciting and really nice spending time together in those incidental moments, like making breakfast together in the mornings or staying up late at night. But let's be real. It can also be really hard, especially if it's people that you are less familiar with. We all need our own space from time to time, and particularly if you're highly sensitive or neurodivergent, you might get overstimulated or overwhelmed quicker than others. So if that's you, I see you and I get it. Many of us are parenting in families where multiple cultures come together. And that can also be a time where we have to navigate different parenting approaches or expectations around discipline or food or independence, how we handle emotions. And that can add to the mental load of managing our own expectations and tension between our values and our actions. Even if there isn't a cultural difference, just the generational differences can be something we also have to manage. Now this is a very nuanced and layered issue and definitely something to expand on in a future episode. Adding to all those factors is the undercurrent of thoughts and feelings about our identity. Where do you fit in now? As each year passes, are you more connected to the place you used to call home or less connected? Because we are not the same people that we were before we left, and sometimes the place we visit every year might never have been home to begin with. So who are we when we return to this place? Do you retreat to a teenager version of yourself and enjoy slipping back into that role? Or do you feel like you don't quite belong? Of course, there's no right or wrong to any of this. We all have different experiences and circumstances and dynamics. I want you to know that if you are feeling some tension between feeling happy and grateful and also feeling like you're gonna lose it at any minute, it totally makes sense. All of these factors at play are contributing to that, and two things can exist at the same time. So in the next episode, I'll share some strategies for how you can manage this suitcase life so that it feels more doable, and also to remind you to support yourself in the process. So for now, thanks so much for listening and see you next time.

8:38

If anything in this episode sparked something for you, I'd love to hear about it. You can find me on Instagram at globally_thriving, or you can reach out to me on my website. Globally thriving.com Also, if you are curious about parent coaching and if it might be right for you, you can book free 20 minute call via the link in the show notes, and we can have a no pressure conversation just to find out more about it. See you next time.