076. Living Between Three Cultures: The Search for Belonging with Urmi Hossain

Have you ever felt caught between cultures or wondered where "home" truly is?

In this episode, Tara sits down with Urmi Hossain, author, speaker, podcaster, and multicultural storyteller, to explore what it's like growing up between worlds. Born in Sicily, Italy, to Bangladeshi parents and now living in Montreal, Canada, Urmi shares her journey as a third-culture kid navigating identity, belonging, family expectations, language, and cultural traditions across multiple countries and communities.

From growing up between Italian and Bengali cultures to building a life abroad in Montreal, Urmi opens up about the challenges of finding her place in the world and how travel, storytelling, and self-discovery helped shape her understanding of home.

We dig into:
✈️ Navigating life between Bangladeshi and Italian cultures
✈️ Identity, belonging, and the search for "home"
✈️ Cultural expectations and family dynamics
✈️ Moving to Montreal and adapting to a new country
✈️ Learning languages and connecting across cultures
✈️ Building community while living abroad
✈️ Insights from her book, Discovering Your Identity: A Rebirth From Interracial Struggle

Whether you've lived abroad, grown up between cultures, or simply love hearing stories about life around the world, this conversation offers an honest look at identity, resilience, and finding belonging across borders.

Connect with Urmi:

• https://linktr.ee/urmihossain

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Transcript

Welcoming Urmi to Taste Toast Travel

SPEAKER_00 0:00

through culture kid so I was born and raised in Italy and both of my parents are from Bangladesh and uh this is also something that that I talk about in my book.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

I basically talk about my experience growing up in between two cultures the Bengali one and the Italian one and the struggles that I went through in trying to fit in and I never felt like I was enough enough for either one of the cultures and it's something that I go really deep into the the book and I share my own personal experience my own personal story of trying to belong to something but then I was like I don't belong anywhere and I think it they the answer was that I had to just create my own belonging by understanding who I was as a person and so I went through that I'm so thrilled to have you here today and as we were talking and as I got to know you I was just so intrigued by your work of you know sharing some really diverse perspectives and very much in your case that is very much shaped by your own cross-cultural journey which I am very excited to get into. But you also have a podcast which we will definitely get into and I'm just so intrigued to hear some takeaways and learnings that you have had along the way but again with your own personal experience and background as well I know you are gonna just leave people feeling

Third Culture Kid Story

SPEAKER_01 1:31

very inspired today. Let's just start by having you tell us a little bit about yourself and especially your background and it sounds like you are now based in Montreal and I would just love to know how you landed there.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Yes I am based in Canada and um as I like to tell people I am a corporate girl a proud corporate girl by day I do work uh and I do have a nine to five job I'm a finance professional and it's something that I'm very very proud of but I also have all these different passions I'm also published author speaker fellow podcasters a YouTuber I also am part of an organization called Women in Leadership and I'm the co-chair of the Mentura chapter and I'm very much into also mentorship for other organizations. And to tell a little bit about my story I am what what we call the culture kid. So I was born and raised in Italy and both of my parents are from Bangladesh and uh this is also something that that I talk about in my book. I basically talk about my experience growing up in between two cultures the Bengali one and the Italian one and the struggles that I went through in trying to fit in and I never felt like I was enough enough for either one of the cultures and it's something that I go really deep into the the book and I share my own personal experience my own personal story of trying to belong to something but then I was like I don't belong anywhere and I think it they the answer was that I had to just create my own belonging by understanding who I was as a person. And so I went through that struggle and I think that struggle just became much bigger when I moved to Canada because I'm like yeah probably you know I would find a fit here belong to something but here I would just get labeled and I think that's one thing that would bother me the most uh people would label me based on my accent based on

Growing Up Between Cultures

SPEAKER_00 3:23

on how I look and that's when I realized that I didn't want people to tell my story but it was me to share my story.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

That's so beautiful. Oh my gosh I definitely think so many people here listening one way or another whether it's they've you know moved to a different country abroad and are just trying to assimilate or whatever their background is can relate to that in some way. I would love so obviously I want people to like go get your book, really dive in and read your story, but can you just give us a very high level of some of what you've experienced I think this is very important to touch on um and just calling much needed attention to it and just like the types of things that you've experienced because that must feel very isolating being in a country and just feeling like you just don't belong. That just makes me so sad.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Yeah and I think that sense of belonging it wasn't because people didn't want me to belong it was just me not feeling like you belong. And so so for instance like I went to a school where everyone around me was Italian so there were not that many immigrant kids or and there was no one that looked like me. There was um you know like maybe I was looking for someone who had parents from a different country and they're born in Italy someone that I could like open up to but it was really hard back in the days and it was always a big a big struggle for me because I feel like um I always like hang hang out with all of my Italian friends and they would tell me yeah you're one of us for Italian this and that but then deep down I was like no I'm not because I don't look like everyone else and then at home even though like I look like everyone else I was like yeah but I feel like my mentality is just the way I think it's just clashing with the way everyone else thinks at home. So that too was a little bit of a struggle and in my book I talk about my my experiences from a from a from a South Asian perspective and I talk about things such as going to school that is strictly Catholic and there is a church there isn't there are nuns and you're like who are these people especially because I wasn't told who these people are it was like oh okay but this was like not my religion so it was like that was one of the struggles um as then the other struggles was uh for instance being the older sister and feeling the pressure of always being like the perfect girl and being an example for the whole community especially because there were not that many um there were not that many girls of my age and everyone was like much younger than me so of course so much pressure some so much expectation put on me because uh I'm the oldest one and I have to you know make sure that I do everything perfect perfectly and other things such as maybe we take for granted but like let's say all of my high school friends they would like get together go out but I was always told that I could not do it and I thought it was like a religion religious thing that I was not allowed to like do any of these things but it was more cultural things and there was a perception that I was going to turn too Italian or too western that I was going to be brainwashed.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

So I

Finding Belonging and Community

SPEAKER_01 6:18

remember like missing out a lot of this I would say teenage life that I wish I had experienced a little bit but I I was just I was just following what I was told uh when I was growing up I never rebelled against anyone I thought that that was the way of doing things and then I realized that no I like I had really had to learn a lot of these things yeah yeah oh that is such an important thing to acknowledge and I think many many people go through that right that struggle of that feeling of like wanting to belong and and fit in and and follow what other people are doing right or just simply go hang out with your friends or whatever is seems so so innocent and so normal right for them. But then you know again just these cultural um expectations that we might have that kind of pull us in two different directions and again just at a very high level how is a big question but like how did you cope with that? How did you sort of navigate your way through that until you sort of got to this point where you're like I no this doesn't feel aligned for me.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

I I think what what I was doing is that I wasn't really leaving my authentic self when I was a kid but I think I was just I was not mature enough to to to even know what that was to be honest. I think that you know I would hang out with my Italian friends and I was like yeah I'm I'm a cool kid and things like that. That's how I would think about it. And um but I always had those thoughts you know I always had them and I knew that they would stay with me but I never spoke about it with anyone because I was like if I start talking about this with someone they would like probably judge me because they're like are you crazy? Why are you even thinking things like that? And so that was like like for me it was like okay I I cannot talk about it with my Italian friends because they probably won't get it. They also had only one person that I was the only different person that we're hanging out with. And then I felt like I could not even talk about it with my Bengali friends but I also did not have Bengali friends to be honest because I was the oldest one. And so that was always like a struggle and I think I only managed to co-op with this right now because I'm much older and I feel like um moving to Canada I got to meet people with different backgrounds people who can also like share my same experience maybe it's not you know Bengali Italian but maybe it's I Indian Africa and or other other like ethnicity and I feel like talking about this with them I feel like I'm I found my own tribe I found my own community and also talking about it even different podcasts through my book I feel like I found also pages on Instagram where there are people similar to me who talk about the struggles and like being in between trying to fit in struggling in finding a belonging and I feel like we all go through that. And so that's how I managed to to to go through it. But I think I had to do like an inner work for for a while.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

I'm sure yeah because so much of this I've seen this a lot is like it can be very deep rooted right so you're kind of unpacking and and sort of for lack of a better term undoing a lot of you know just what what you've been taught which is absolutely beautiful and okay right we can respect where everyone kind of comes from but yeah that's that's a lot but it sounds like community has really been a big piece for you. And I know how important that is like there's

Redefining What Home Means

SPEAKER_01 9:38

a part of my life that is very involved in like grief and grief support and and helping people that are grieving. And that's like one of the main things that so many people will say is like when they are are grieving something or someone or or even not that just going through a big life transition or moving to a new place where you maybe feel a bit out of place one way or another and just like you said I love it. You know you're finding your tribe you're finding your people who maybe they don't maybe to your point like they're not the exact same background as you on paper but they can just understand it at a very high level and just be like I see you in that and you're not alone you know that's that's very powerful.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Yeah exactly and and if I could add further to that I think one of the things that I that I had to learn was the definition of home especially because I have moved so many places since I was a kid like I was born in Sicily we lived in Sicily for a bit then moved to the north went to the UK came back to Italy like I was always changing always changing cities always changing houses. So that was something that I really had to learn like what is in my home because now my parents live in the UK so they went back for instance and UK is not my home because I don't have any memories from UK I've not lived there for like I only lived there for a year and uh when I think about home I feel like it's it's a it's a feeling now it's just my memories attached to growing up in Italy but but sometimes this is I think what I I crave the most is actually having a physical home in the city where I was born and going back to the city whenever I I want to but I don't have a physical place to go because we just change houses so many times. Like I had many houses but you know that that feeling of home it's something that I think I crave a lot because I I would like to go back to my you know to to my bedroom the the place where I you know spent most of my time doing my homework playing and so forth but I I don't have that unfortunately so yeah that's so difficult.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

I feel like it can make people feel very just a bit untethered and sort of like you know again to your point the kind of theme of this conversation so far is like who am I like where do I belong like where where can I yeah just call call home and I it's definitely I I've talked to many people who have been through you know they're kind of similar thing and it really is I think for so many people like the the the people the community have a lot to do with it. Like you kind of just like you said you said it beautifully like just sort of redefining what you consider home and what that looks like and what that feels like and um you make a great point about like the whole childhood bedroom thing. Like I also don't really have that anymore. Like I grew up on the East Coast and like my parents have since passed away so and and we moved a few times not not as many times as you but like but still you just feel a bit like you not having roots can feel it just makes you feel a bit disconnected um especially when you you maybe do want that. That's beautiful for some people some people absolutely love that but for sometimes you just want to just a place to come back to and just kind of call your own and it's funny I think of some friends who absolutely have the childhood bedroom or their family has never moved in 30 years and they're like that's beautiful. Like there's something so nostalgic about that. But and then there's so many iterations in between so I just want to name that because that is very real. I think a lot of people can empathize with what you're saying there yeah. Really quick I just for more for myself I have to ask where in Sicily are you from and I asked because John and I are looking to go there. So I'm very curious where you're just sidebar have any recommendations because um John by ancestry is is Sicilian so we're very excited to go but I was just curious. Palermo. Palermo okay yeah that's definitely on our list of course it's Palermo amazing okay and then it sounds like you jumped around so much that we're we're big Italy people here. I just have to ask like where else in Italy did you live I'm living vicariously through you right now.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

So I also lived in um in Pavia which is in the region of Lombardy I lived there for three years and then before moving to Canada I was living in Milan and I consider myself a Milan girl like I I just love Milan. It's like I'm a city girl so I love Milan. I lived there for five years.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

So cool Milan is is magical we've we've we've been there like a couple times in very short stints I need to need to spend some more time there. But um that's amazing okay so from Italy you go to Canada talk to me about what what brought you to Canada however much or as little you want to share here. And again just you've you've touched on what that transition was like for you a little bit but anything else you want to share because that's that's definitely a bit of a culture jump there. So I'd love to hear about that.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Yeah Canada was definitely a culture culture jump because like especially in Montreal which is in the province of of Quebec there were I wouldn't call it cultural shocks more like cultural discovery because I feel like shock was a negative a neg negative but for me it was really like a big big discovery and I remember thinking like I've read about Quebec back in school and I was like Quebec what the hell is that and then like here I am and um and I think the the biggest shock was that when I was like in the airport first when I first arrived to like everything was like in English and French and I was like what's going on here and then um what happened is like people when they would approach you they would approach you both in in English and French. So they would always say bonjour hi and usually like actually not usually French has a has has more of a bigger influence so everything has to be first French and then in English and um I remember also like little things such as like seeing squirrels in the streets and in the park I would not say that in Italy and seeing this here I was like oh my gosh they're gonna just attack me and eat me and um and also I remember so there was the language there was the squirrel situation and of course of course of course the weather it was like actually the weather still is a big struggle like I've been living for so long and I don't think I can cop with the weather situation of Montreal because it just gets cold and and it snows and then we have this phenomenon called freezing rain I didn't even know what that was and I was like what is this and it was just a struggle with the freezing rain especially because I think the first day not the first day but in the first year when I went to university it was minus 40 and I was like okay there is no way I'm gonna survive this and then there was freezing rain. So for those who do not know freezing rain is when it rains but when the rain reaches the the soil it just becomes ice and so when you're walking outside it's like you're walking on an um skating ring so you have to put like this extra it it is dangerous. They always like gives they always give warning you have to be careful when you drive when you walk outside and you cannot I wouldn't say you can walk with like snowboats you need to have like like these things underneath the the the the shoe so that you can like walk without falling but I remember something almost yeah that's uh yeah and then I remember I fell and all I was doing just looking around and hoping no one saw me but I could not even get up that's how slippery it was uh yeah yeah yeah no and it I I really don't like the winter but I think I managed to you know cop with it and I think the beauty of Montreal is that it's so multicultural and I love the fact that we do celebrate so many cultures like we always have festivals celebrating like different cultures we have the Italian festival we have the Korean festival like we have all these different festivals that happen throughout the year which is really nice about Montreal and but I think the other thing that I really had to struggle I wouldn't say it was a struggle but I'm finding myself now in living in Montreal studying in English which is not my first language it's my third language and now I work in French which is my fourth language so I'm not even using languages that are mine to begin with. So I I I felt like that was a quite a shift for me. Yeah which I don't think I ever gave enough credit to myself for doing that. I think I took it for granted but I'm like

Language Learning Tips for Busy Professionals

SPEAKER_00 18:09

no I took I should take credit for that you know like not everyone could do it.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

So it's hard that's a lot oh my God I I have to say really quick I'm so I'm always so I guess envious if you will of Europe is just so much better about educating from a very young age the second languages like here in the US God it is rough. I mean we have language of course in school but to really be able to speak it and work in it and all of it like we have a long way to go here I personally feel um so I I am so impressed by you I just have to say with how many languages that you know and can actually work with and like hold a job doing um and one of the things I know that you I think we were gonna we wanted to talk about prior to like coming on was language learning. And so just you kind of touched on that already but like do you have any like maybe just advice anyone here listening or just anything to keep in mind or words of wisdom or anything in terms of learning a language or even multiple because like John and I are studying Italian but like man it's yeah oh yeah but we we are hardcore on this Italy thing but it but you know it's tough when you're I shouldn't make excuses it there's really no excuse but you know when you're like working in a job that's totally English and everyone around you speaks English and like we try and practice on each other but then we're both like are we actually saying this right because neither of us are like native speakers so we're not wildly confident that we're saying things right and it's a mess.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

So what would you say to someone just again very quick high level trying to language learn here I think especially for busy professional language learning can be challenging because you don't we feel like you don't have time for it. But for instance now I'm working on my Spanish for instance like which is my fifth one and I always I always try to make time for it. And I think one thing that I really had to learn is that first of all there is no age for you when it comes to learning languages. I know people say oh you know like once you reach a certain age it's much harder who cares you know if I want to learn it I'm gonna exactly and I think what's very good practice is to do some time blocking especially when you're when you're a busy professional I one thing that I do is let's say I look up for like videos on YouTube that are like 10 minutes and I just actively listen to those and I do and I do my job for the day you know 10 minutes. Or I also take classes like 20 minutes um 20 minutes clutch with the tutor and we just talk in in in Spanish it is quite challenging if I have to be honest sometimes because I feel like my mind is always thinking in French and then suddenly I'm like have to switch and I can't do the switch right away. So it's a bit challenging but the more you practice the conversation the better it will be so I feel like with busy professionals you really have to make an effort to block the time and to make it not negotiable if that's your priority.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

And I think that's that's key to success especially because you can always make an excuse but if you truly want it you can put that as your first thing in the list yeah absolutely yeah I love that we have like our kind of time set aside is like right before bed we both kind of do our language learning. So it's like we do have that but like during the day like I love that you just like take a which we all need to be taking some breaks from work anyway. So why not use some 10, 15 minutes to language learn I love that. And you're so right if it is like anything in life it's a if it's a priority you make the time yeah yeah and if consistency obviously with language is very important.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

Exactly and if you could add something else I think what could also help As well, is that one thing that I used to do is that some with some of my coworkers, I would actually take time to use a lunch break to go on lunch with them, and then we would just speak in French. And that was my way to like to be productive, and you know, it was in like a win-win situation. I'm having lunch with my friend, and then I'm like also practicing uh practicing without paying uh an extra tutor. So that really worked for me for like my first years in in Montreal. And I think it's if you can have a coworker who's like native Italian speakers, you can also have that group conversation along with uh your partner and so forth. I need I think that can really really help.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Because I feel like sometimes partners are like not the best like person to practice with, especially if the person's not native, which again, neither of us are. So we're both like, are we even doing this right? I don't know. Um but that's so true. And the the tutor absolutely these were great suggestions, by the way. Thank you. Yeah, I think it's tough here in the U. Sometimes we we depending on where you are, you don't always have someone to practice with. So you you do have to seek it out a little more. I don't want to speak for everyone, for us, we've definitely had to seek it out a little bit more. But um, but again, if that's if that's really what you want to do and it's a priority, and or you really want to get um proficient enough to to work in that environment or where you need to know the language, like that's it's what you gotta do. Yeah. That's it. I love it. Great advice. Okay, so I I'm so excited to shift to this part of the conversation now because I want to talk about um stories beyond borders. So your podcast, and because this is also where I really wanted to go with our conversation today, just exploring identity, which

Immigration Realities

SPEAKER_01 23:44

we've already kind of done and belonging, but this life between cultures. And so I just want to open it up to you to like first of all tell us about that. But I'd love to hear from you too. Like I'm sure you've spoken with so many incredible people and heard so many powerful stories. If there's any like major, like, how do I want to this were this themes or takeaways or just things that you've learned from guests in having those stories?

SPEAKER_00 24:09

Yeah, I think with Stories Beyond Borders, I wanted to create a platform for other people and guests to share their stories of immigration or their stories of being multicultural, should like go living between two cultures or multiple cultures. And I find it always so fascinating to hear all these stories because I think sometimes we just take it for granted that some stories, like the reason why people move is just because we just want a better future. We just don't like our life in our home country. But honestly, it's not always like that. I think some people don't have a choice and they just have to leave their country. We just have to be, you know, we just have to like be aware that the reality sometimes is a little bit different for some people, and some people really just take one thing and just leave, and that's it because they have no other choices. I think my my favorite episode was with this girl that I consider my friend, and she talks about her experience being half black and half white. But when you look at her, she just looks white, like she doesn't look black. And if she if she did not tell me, I would have not guessed it. And so she's like, you know, sometimes I feel like I just got way too many, you know, privileges because of my skin color, and she feels like she was not able to embrace that other part of her identity. And I felt it was so interesting what she was saying that I was like, you know, some people probably probably would just go proud of like looking a certain way, but then she was like, Yeah, I I feel like I missed out. And I feel like also she was saying how her brothers had her brother, her siblings had a different experience because they just they look a bit more like black, whereas she just completely, completely white. So she was like, I had really had to learn certain things when I was a kid. I also had have faced some mental health issues and so forth. So that was my favorite like episode because she was just being very vulnerable and I just enjoy listening to her and I could feel her honesty. Um, so that was interesting, and then there was this other girl that I interviewed who was the reason why I have written my book, and I have read her own book called A Confession of a Brown Girl, and she talks about her experience being uh, you know, she's Canadian Pakistani. So when she was talking about her life in the book, I was like, oh my gosh, this girl, she's just writing about my life. So I could just relate to it. I feel like there are so many things that people are able to relate to when we are sharing our stories, and that's why I say storytelling is so powerful. Like, don't don't hide behind your story, tell your story. I think it's what creates community, creates engagement. You know, it it you create a safe place, safe space for others also to share their stories, and maybe you know, they they won't feel alone in their journey, and so that's what I was trying to do also with the with the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's incredible. Okay, wow. I almost feel like I need to

Writing Her Book

SPEAKER_01 26:53

talk to them too, because how incredible. Like I'm always looking for more of those stories. That's so powerful. And again, it's like I just love that you're like reading her book and feeling so seen and so understood. And like I was saying earlier, right? You're your different backgrounds, but there's so much like that we can all come together on in some of these, and just like a like a global way of there's a lot of people that are going through that um in their own way, and that's so important. Um, and I just praise you guys for talking about it so openly and very vulnerably. Like that's that's hard. Not everyone can do that or wants to do that. So um, that's amazing. And then you holding space for people like that on your podcast as well. That's incredible. It's so needed. Um, wow, that's that's so powerful. So, quickly talk about your your book or your guide as well. So, discovering your identity, a rebirth from interracial struggle. So, talk to us about that.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah, so my book, it's um like as I was mentioning earlier, it's really about my life growing up in Italy. And I make a comparison between the the two cultures, the Italian one and the Bengali one, and it's more mostly talked from a perspective of a South Asian girl who's like seeing things for the first time and experiencing things for the first time, and she finds herself in a space where she just has to explain herself to people, especially people who don't all share the same culture. And um, it was very very therapeutic for me because I was just sharing my memories and I feel like I was just relieving a lot of those episodes as I was just sharing them. And of course, I think they just stayed with me because I just felt like they were they needed to be shared, but I was also probably seeking an answer from those episodes about why I would, you know, I would reflect so much on some of these things. And I I talk about certain things, such as like my parents, for instance, they would tell me you're not allowed to participate to the religion class, you know, because there was a perception that I would just, you know, maybe change religion, who knows? Right. Um and there was I I talk about that. I also talk about how some of my high school friends they were allowed to go to school trips for longer days, for one day and so forth, but I was just not allowed to. And at the beginning I thought it was for religion purposes, but then it turns out it was cultural purposes. And I was like, this was not fair, you know, it was not fair. Um, and then there was this other part where I talk about how like people from the community would often ask my parents, oh, did you wish Urimi was a boy? And I and it did not bother me so much when I was a kid because I was like, oh, they're just asking a question. But now when I reflect upon it, I'm like, no, because there is a perception that boys can do, they can start doing things earlier, they can start working and start working earlier, they can, you know, be the breadwinner, and they have less restriction on the some of the things they can do. So the South Asian community is very gender biased, like women are allowed to do only certain things and forget about the rest. Whereas boys have a lot more freedom and no one ever questions them for anything, you know, like if you're going out, where are you going, if you're traveling, like who cares? Women it's just questions over questions, and sometimes I would I would not even try. I would not even try because I was like, I already know it's gonna be a no. And there were movies, there were there were actually movies. And when I st when I started to write write about my book, um there was this movie that I watched, and I don't remember the name right now, but she is based in Nor Norway and her parents are from Pakistan. Oh okay. And when I was like watching this movie, I feel like she would it this was exactly what I what I was also going through. So she's like she's surrounded by a lot of like people from Norway and all of her all her friends are from Norway and she's like rebelling against her parents. So she like goes to the she goes to the club and she's like you know dating this white guy, and then one day like she brings him over and her parents like her father caught her with this guy, and then I of course her like her parents lost it. They were like, We will send you straight to Pakistan, and then you know, you got we will fix you that way.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

And then when I was watching this movie, I was like, that's exactly how it was when I was growing up. Of course, I didn't do like I didn't know clubbing or things like that, but I know, but I know people who did that, that was the way to punish them.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Oh my god. Wow, that is so intense. Oh my gosh. I I would be so curious to read this. I'm sure like the things that you have experienced, and again, navigating that, and like like you mentioned earlier, like being on the younger side. So you kind of don't like anything in life, you don't know what you don't know yet. So again, I can just only begin to imagine what it was like to feel that push-pull of literally this country, this culture that you are immersed in and living in. But then, you know, equally important, this this home life, right? These are your parents, and you sound wonderful and didn't want to go against them. Um, but again, just that that balance must have been very difficult to navigate. And like we were saying earlier, uh it that's a lot to unpack as you as you get older. And it sounds like this was like maybe not a newer thing for you, but it it took a while to really start maybe perhaps acknowledging that and being like, wow, okay, this is actually how this really affected me.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Is that does that feel true to you? Yeah, uh, yeah, it it did affect me, affect me a lot because I really grew up with a lot of like limitations. Like, I think I was just conditioned to think you know, women can only do certain things and you should never go against like our wishes, what we tell you to do. But I feel like they would never put that much pressure on let's say on a male figure. I don't have any brothers, but I feel like women like men are so highly valued in the South Asian community compared to the uh to the woman. And I know for instance, like some of the things I have seen with my own eyes is that let's say when I would go back to Bangladesh when my parents would bring me to get to know that part of the world, I could see how in a family where maybe we have one girl and one boy, like people are willing to invest into the education of the boy. And I was like, why is it like that here, you know? And I can see because there is a perception that the girl is just supposed to, you know, she's gonna get married eventually. We just have to like there is a worry that we as soon as a girl is born in a family, like there is a worry that okay, who's gonna take care of her when she reaches a certain age? But I'm like, why are we not teaching her about independence, first of all? Like, why do we have divided? She has to divide someone. So things like that are like really hard to to to unlearn for certain for certain cultures. Uh so they um as I remember seeing that like the

Women in Leadership Chapter

SPEAKER_00 34:14

worries that okay, who's gonna take care of her? And some of the families, because they could not take care of their daughter, they would just send them off to marriage like at a really young age. And we also have an issue of like child marriages in Bangladesh, where like young girls are sent off for marriages and they have not even fully developed, like mentally, physically, psychologically, and there they are with someone married with someone who's like twice their age, and they're trying to understand what am I supposed to be doing?

SPEAKER_01 34:44

Oh, that's scary. Yeah, oh my gosh, there's so much to unpack there. One thing I wanted to circle back to, because again, I just I to bring it back to you and your part of the story and where you are in your life now. I would be remiss if I didn't quickly mention. So, this can you talk about this women's group that you're in and you're part of the the Montreal chapter? Can you repeat what that was one more time and just tell us about that? Because I want to bring it back to that for a second because I just think that's so incredible and like what a beautiful way to like step into this new like iteration of your life, I guess, and and be so empowered. And yeah, I just love that for you. So can you just talk to us briefly about that?

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Yeah, it's called Women of Leadership, and it's an organization that has been around for 25 years. It's based mainly in Canada, and each city of Canada has a chapter. So Montreal has a chapter, Toronto has a chapter, Vancouver has a chapter, and I run the Montreal chapter with other three women, and the um the goal would be really to empower the women in the community to be the leaders there, and to be, and so we touch upon different things during the webinars, in-person events, we do branches, we do uh networking events after work. Like we do a bunch of like in-person and online events. It's so much fun. Honestly, there's so much fun. It's so much fun, and we have women to share the stories. There's stories of like being, let's say, working professionals while also being a mom, or maybe working professionals and dealing with like health issues. A lot of the times the women are really looking for ways to let's say cope with imposter syndrome, self-doubt, insecurities, getting confidence. So it's it's very much, yes, it's about leadership, but it's more about all these traits that you need to have in order to be a great leader. So communication skills, public speaking skills, wellness, empathy, all these things that I that makes the women a lot more well-rounded. And so we have all this conversation, we have webinars. We actually had Women in Leadership Day two days ago. So we had a webinar where we had wellness coaches, we have two HR place uh people, and we held a panel session where they were basically sharing practical ways to implement um like wellness elements at workplace. So they were talking about mindfulness, they were talking about Flexible Friday, where you know people can take the time off to do anything they want. They also some people were talking about how they incentivize some people to use some extra money they are given to actually take cooking classes, painting classes. So it was really, it was really nice, honestly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Oh my God, that's amazing. Oh, I love this so much. I'm so glad I asked about that because I again, I just feel like it in a way ties into again, and just this kind of like new iteration that you have found for yourself after, you know, your your upbringing, which, you know, that it's very nuanced, right? And so I was gonna ask you really quickly. I mean, in this group, I would imagine you see a lot of women from a lot of different backgrounds, or is it a lot of women that have maybe like born and raised in Canada? Like, I was just curious about that.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

We do have a lot of women who are from different backgrounds. A lot of these women are, I think they're struggling more in finding a work-life balance. I think that's what I have, what I keep seeing is recurring. But I am part of another organization called Dress for Success, where I mentor a lot of young people. And it we just went to a networking event, and this South Asian girl approached me, and uh, she was telling me she's basically she was she was like, I want to learn French, but every time I speak French, I don't like the way I sound because she's she's like, I have such a strong like uh Indian accent when I speak, and it's it's so what? That's amazing. And so you like, and I know I went through that, like this whole accent thing, it's also so also something that I went through into like I really had to like love my accent, but I know I was always trying to I was always trying to get an sound like American because I felt like that was the

Travel Lessons and Favorites

SPEAKER_00 38:58

coolest one, but I know that I hardly also I also had to learn you know to us embrace my accent. And I'm and when I talk with this girl, I was like, no, girl, like you have to like be proud of the yeah, be proud of the accent. So I can see that in other environments when I'm connecting with other women that this the struggle is like similar to mine.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Absolutely. Oh, I love that you are inspiring so many people again. Hopefully, anyone here listening today who can relate to your story at all can can see themselves in you one way or another. Um, and you are a part of so oh my gosh, you have so much on your plate. Can I just say like you are part of so many incredible groups and the mentoring and everything? Like, kudos to you, truly.

unknown 39:44

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

As we start to wrap up, because again, it sounds like you have just not only just living in other places, but you know, travels as well. My last question for you today, just and again, answer this however you want, whether you do want to talk more about just like in the moves and some of the places that you've lived, or just you know, some fun places you might have gone on trips. What are some of your biggest takeaways in your travels so far? Whether it's you know, lessons learned or just places you would recommend going or anything to leave listeners with here today. I know it's a big question.

SPEAKER_00 40:19

It's so it's that's such a difficult question, but let me tell you this. I went to Malaysia last year, and I think I think it just stayed in my heart. I I felt people in Malaysia are so nice, they're so cute. I've heard them, they're so cute. Like you just want to hug them when they speak, and you're like, oh my gosh. And like when I was in Malaysia, I feel like I learned a lot more about kindness, kindness towards other people, and that was my biggest takeaway when I left.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

And I really, really enjoy, I really enjoyed Kuala Lampur. Like for anyone who's looking for a destination, I think Kuala Lampur is great, the food is amazing. And I I just came back from Morocco and I felt the same way too. Like, people are so like they go beyond and above to help you. That was another thing that I noticed. Um, and I also loved LA. I love LA. I love I actually I love Orange County. I love Orange County. I love Orange County. Like, if I could live in Orange Country County, I was like, like, I love that part.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Oh my gosh, that's amazing. I I listen, being here in California, I can I can agree. Orange County is absolutely very expensive, as is this whole freaking state. But everywhere in the world right now seems very expensive. Can't escape it either way. That is so, that is so, so funny. But you know what? I I hear that all the time. I get a hear that a lot from people in Europe. They love New York and LA. And I'm like, yeah, not super.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

I love New York as well. It's so pretty.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

It's fun. It is really fun. I was there a few months ago, um, just for like four days, like in Manhattan and stuff. And I because I grew up on the East Coast, so I'd been there multiple times, but I hadn't been there in a long time, like just by myself. And it was it, it just has this fun energy. I love asking what countries and cities people love or have really changed you. Because first of all, just selfishly, we want to add them to our list of places to go. But I just love, you know, again, just expanding our horizons, but also like those things that you've learned or observed there. And I that's what I love about traveling so much, is like you go and like you are not the same person leaving. And so, like, I I love what you said, right? You see how these people treat each other, treated you, and and the going above and beyond and all of that. And you take those things with you, and it just I don't know. I like to think it makes us better people at the end of the day, hopefully, too. And you know, we take a little bit of everywhere we've been. It's so it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

It's come you come a with a lot more awareness, I feel like, because you see how they leave and you see how you're treated, and then you're like, maybe I should be a bit more like that.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Yes, it's very humbling. You realize like this world and everything in it is so much bigger than you and our bubble that we get stuck in sometimes, and it's yeah, it's why we love traveling, it's so powerful. That's it, very eye-opening, if nothing else, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:17

So I agree.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Amazing. This was such a wonderful conversation. I feel like we covered so many topics in a good amount of time. So I'm I love that, and I'm just so grateful for you to, you know, coming on again, sharing your background, your story, which again, I think is so important. I think it's it's so good to just speak openly about it and for for people to hear that, right? So, anyway, I just thank you. Thank you so much for joining us today. I appreciate you. Before I forget, where can everyone find you? Website or anything or social media links work and where can people connect with you?

SPEAKER_00 43:48

With me on LinkedIn and it's my name, or me Hossein. And if people want to find out about the work that we do with Women in Leadership, we actually offer a lot of online events for free, like a lot of the webinars, panels which are online, they're actually open to everyone. And they can join them from anywhere and from from anywhere in the world. So they can just Google like Women in Leadership Foundation Canada. All the different chapters do their own thing, but for online stuff, they can literally anyone can join them. And I think we have great resources. So if you can just Google uh Women in Leadership Foundation Canada, they can find out more about the work that we do for Women in Leadership.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

That's incredible. Thank you so much for offering that up. I I I definitely want to check it out like selfishly. So, but that will all be linked in the in the show notes as well. So thank you again so much for your time. Thank you so much for hanging out with us and tuning into the Taste Toast Travel Podcast. We really appreciate you being here and hope you're enjoying these honest conversations about all things sipping, savoring, and seeing the world. If you like what you're hearing on the podcast, we would truly appreciate a rating or a review on whatever platform you're tuning in on so fellow foodies, epicureans, and travel enthusiasts can enjoy this content too. Don't forget to hit that subscribe button and give us a follow at Taste Toast Travel. We'll see you in the next episode.