Thriving Artists: The Daily Joyride with Robyn Cohen

How To Achieve Michael Jordan-Level Success with NYC Taxi Driver-Turned TV Star, Eric Schaeffer

• Robyn Cohen • Episode 10

Share episode

Are you eager to learn how passion can propel you from a mundane job to Hollywood fame? Keen to discover the mindset that turns obstacles into stepping stones for success? Wondering how to maintain creativity and joy through life's ups and downs? Join your host Robyn Cohen on The Daily Joyride podcast for an invigorating episode featuring the indefatigable Eric Schaeffer. From his ten years of driving a New York City taxi cab to becoming an acclaimed filmmaker and TV celebrity, Eric shares the captivating story of his arduous adventure. Learn about his unwavering drive, how he conquered setbacks, and his relentless quest to create art that unites and inspires. Eric opens up about the complexities of balancing career and family life, the harsh realities of criticism, and the transformative power of kindness, purpose and deep self-reflection. Don't miss this illuminating conversation packed with heartfelt anecdotes and actionable insights designed to invigorate your own creative journey. Listen in to be inspired to turn your biggest dreams into a lived reality.

- Join Eric Schaeffer’s “Acting Like Animals” Kickstarter Community:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/328987931/acting-like-animals

- Connect with Eric Schaeffer on Instagram:
IG:  https://www.instagram.com/explore/search/keyword/?q=acting%20like%20animals

💕 Thanks for tuning in!

🎊 I made you somethin’!—It’s a Free MP3 Audio Guide designed to infuse your day with ease, calm and strength (in less than 7 minutes!)
“5 Proven Practices to Peace & Power” FREE GIFT!👇
https://mailchi.mp/cohenactingstudio/free-gift-to-freedom

🚨And now… Calling all Artist Citizens, Brave-hearted Actors, and the Creatively Curious!

🎭 Join me Tuesday, April 1st for a joyful, jam-packed, and totally FREE Open-House Acting Class!

📅 Tuesday, April 1st @ 6 PM PT
🌐 Online via Zoom
🎟️ Come one, come all!
RSVP now by emailing me directly → Robyn@CohenActingStudio.com …and I’ll send you the Zoom link for this one-of-a-kind night!

✨Expect to get on your feet, connect with fellow artists, and reignite your creative spirit.✨

✨Whether you're brand new to acting or ready to dive back in—this night is for YOU.

🌟 Looking ahead…!
🚀 6-Week Acting Workshop Begins Tuesday, April 8th @ 6 PM PT
💻 Online with bonus in-person sessions in LA!
🎁 Register by Friday, April 4th, and save $100 with Early Bird Pricing!
👉 Sign Up Here:  https://cohenactingstudio.us2.list-manage.com/track/click?u=9d876c88a513506c82110222a&id=b2dd434bcb&e=ce47929cf2

⭐️ One-on-one coaching is available throughout the year!

👉  For more offers, updates, and inspo. - IG @RobynCohenActingStudio

✅ If this episode resonated with you, thank you for sharing it and for leaving a review! 💕 It helps so much to expand this circle of awesomeness!

With all my heart!
💯 Robyn C.

Time Stamps
00:58 Special Announcement: Free Acting Class
02:08 Eric Schaeffer's Journey from Taxi Driver to Filmmaker
02:37 Deep Dive into Eric's Career and Philosophy
05:47 The Impact of Critics and Personal Reflections
08:08 Balancing Career and Personal Life
29:03 Overcoming Challenges and Staying Motivated
38:17 The Intimacy of Online Criticism
39:11 The Reality of Raising Children
47:16 The Concept of 'Acting Like Animals'
49:04 Navigating Political Differences
50:35 The Importance of Kindness and Self-Reflection
51:56 Daily Life and Self-Improvement
57:47 Acknowledging Personal Achievements
01:04:39 Future Projects and Creative Aspirations

✨Can't wait to see you on the next joyride!✨

Robyn Cohen:

Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Daily Joy Ride podcast. I am your host, Robyn Cohen. Here to fuel your day with energy, infuse it with joy, and share powerful stories that will ignite your courage. Spark your spirit, awaken your perceptions, and inspire and encourage the once in a cosmos you to create a life. That you actually love living. So if that's your jam, buckle up and let's ride. Here we go. Hello there, and welcome back to the Daily Joy Ride. Hey, have you ever wondered what strategies champions like Michael Jordan used to achieve greatness? Do you wanna know the secrets behind turning dreams into reality? are you seeking the keys that will unlock your fullest potential? Well, I've got you. I'm Robyn Cohen and I wanna personally invite you to a magically delicious, free introductory, open house acting class Coming up on Tuesday, April 1st, this promises to be an electrifying community event Brimming with inspiration, deep dive, acting, exploration, and soulful connection. So mark your calendars for Tuesday, April 1st. That's April Fool's Day, but this is no joke at 6:00 PM Live on Zoom. I'm telling you, you're gonna wanna grab this golden opportunity stat by emailing me at Robyn Robyns with a y@cohenactingstudio.com. To receive your exclusive Zoom link, It's your launchpad to leveling up. Whether you're just beginning or you're a seasoned artist, this night was literally made for you. Plus, don't miss our six week acting workshop starting Tuesday, April 8th, featuring online and in-person sessions in la. And if you enroll by April 1st, April Fool's Day, you're gonna receive early bird pricing and save a hundred bucks. And now. roll your sleeves up and get ready to dig in With this week's cosmically creative guest, Eric Schaeffer. Check this out. Eric went from driving a New York City taxi cab for 10 years to transforming his life to become a TV celebrity and an award-winning Hollywood filmmaker So if you wanna know how the heck he did that, or are curious about how to transform your day job in details of triumph, tune in. cause this one's for you. Let's ride. I. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Daily Joyride Podcast. Welcome! Today, I am so excited to have the one and the only Eric Schaeffer on the show. Eric! is a visionary. Eric is a filmmaker, a writer, a television showrunner, whose career spans literally like over three decades, four decades. I love this. Um, there was like a biopic snippet about you, Eric. Eric Schaeffer is an American actor, writer, and director born in New York City. He graduated from Bard college with a degree in drama and dance. Do you know that we both have a degree in dance, like, in another lifetime? We both have a degree in dance. Hang on, hang on. Before his breakthrough in the film industry, Eric drove a New York City taxicab for nine years, during which time, wait for it, he wrote two stage plays, a novel, 20 20 screenplays, and various Other works of art and that was just while driving a taxi. There's life post taxi driving. Okay, Eric's journey is such a beautiful Anomaly his breakout film my life's in turnaround showcased his incredible talent for authentic and riveting storytelling leading to acclaimed works like if Lucy fell and fall Eric's commitment and dedication to exploring the intricacies of love and identity is showcased in projects like Boy Meets Girl, a massively poignant narrative that challenges societal norms in terms of gender and sexuality. There was a very, uh, interesting quote I, I pulled, um, in an interview, Eric discussed his film, Boy Meets Girl, stating, I wanted to tell a story that would help people understand that love is love and it doesn't matter what body you're in. I found that so moving. Beyond film, he's made his mark on television with series such as Two Something and Gravity, which I got to be on with him, and Starved. Which we got to be in together. Today, and so many more, so many more, today we'll delve into Eric's creative process, his passion for storytelling, and the experiences that have shaped his dynamo career. So buckle up, get ready for a delightful and insightful conversation with a true talent and trailblazer and friend in the world of entertainment and in the world at large. Eric Schaeffer. Welcome to the show.

Eric S:

Thank you, Robyn. Oh my goodness. Robyn, you know you're one of my favorite people. You're so inspiring to me, really. I, I, uh, you always inspire me when I get into moments of feeling blue or down. You know, I, I often think of you and how you just have this, um, unbridled sort of, omnipresent, uh, you know, positivity about you. So when I knew, I knew that, like, when I got the blurb about sort of what your podcast is like, I could have written it myself, like, just being happy and exploring everyone's amazingness. Like I was like, of course, I was so like, I'm always like, jokingly or not against everything that I don't know about, like most people, like it's contempt prior to investigation. And, um, so AI, like totally against AI. Yeah. But you know what turned me into AI is because what you read was AI's thing on me. And I'm like, damn, like real life critics have often, I have some fans, but I've often, I feel like been unfairly destroyed by, by critics and people online and stuff for no good reason. Well, I have my theories about why that is, but, and then my friend was like, let me put you in. AI and I'm like, no, please don't. And he put it in and what you read came up and it's like, so smart. And so like, I'm like, I am. So anyway, it's

Robyn Cohen:

smart, but it's alarming. It's also alarming. For well, that's smart.

Eric S:

Like, listen, like my stuff or not. I feel like what AI said is like true. Yeah. AI get like the sound design and one of my movies, a little thing where I used to have and why we spend it out where like, All the New York apartments had this clanking happening.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah, yeah.

Eric S:

Because when the heat comes on in the New York apartments, it goes clank, clank.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

And so I laid that in, in the middle of the most important moment when I'm on my knees in front of the character, when I'm asking to marry me and asking for forgiveness. And then in the beat, it goes clank, clank. Right. And New York audiences would laugh, but that wasn't like by accident. Like we laid that in and sound design. People like say that my movie, that I suck as a filmmaker and stuff like these people don't know what goes in like, okay, you can hate it, but at least like that moment. Like, and acknowledge that I'm behind that, you know what I mean?

Robyn Cohen:

I, I know a hundred percent. Like, hate

Eric S:

the whole movie. Say I can't, like, at least say, well, he's like good at sound design, I don't know. Yeah,

Robyn Cohen:

yeah. Okay, okay, okay. So this is so juicy already, because it, Like inspires. I have so many inquiries about what you just said. And, and I also want to, um, just say thank you for what you shared about how we kind of swirl in each other's psyches. And we're kind of there for each other in ways when we're not necessarily face to face, but you too are someone that I have in my, In my heart, really, wherever I'm, you know, walking and moving and shaking in the world of arts and crafts or creativity, you know, you're such a, you're such a tremendous inspiration in, in all that you do, uh, including being a father. More recently, and it's fascinating to me that when you started to I know he just he's for those who are listening. He just picked up tiny tennis shoes.

Eric S:

Yeah, little tiny tennis shoes of his daughter. Weeping because it's like. It's the most gorgeous thing in the, like, I'll start crying right now just looking.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah. We're all. Yeah. It's like that. And, um, and so it's amazing to me because, and I get this so deeply and I want to get under this today. You went to pretty quickly. In this conversation, the critics, like pretty quickly, we are talking about the crap that critics say, who, by the way, no one, as you know, has ever raised a statue. To a critic. No one's ever raised a statue for a critic. So, but isn't that amazing that in the panoply of projects and things and productions that you've created, the masses and masses of incredible content you have put in the world that has delighted, inspired, lit up, entertained millions, literally millions and millions of people across hundreds of countries. It's like, We go right to, I just banged my computer and shook the screen, sorry folks. But we go right to, like, that review where they talked about how the sound didn't work, and how this wasn't, what is that? Why do we go to that? And so the real question is,

Eric S:

Yeah, no, listen. That's the part of me that I keep pushing. That's my low, dark, dark, small s of the self, right? The big S of myself. Like I shouldn't be brought up. I sort of like that John Travolta, whether he's, who knows what that guy is doing with his, whatever his religions are, but I once saw him and like guy just always says nothing but positive things. Like the guy, he, yeah, I saw, I don't know, years ago, saw him and he just said, happy, happy, happy, happy. Like, So I shouldn't have even led with that because it's self fulfilling prophecy. But there's no shoulds. There's no

Robyn Cohen:

shoulds about it. I think it's so human. I do it. I do it too. I remember every word of the negative review. It happened. I was on stage in 2015 and this reviewer talked about how I was shouting through the play and I've got like, I've got that quote seared into my brain. Like the, somehow we have literally deleted like a, like a computer program, like AI, we have deleted. The hundreds and thousands, literally the trillions of bits of information so that we can just focus on this negative review, it's just incredible what the brain does.

Eric S:

No, it's sad. Listen, I, I try to remember, but because listen, normal, nice people, they don't have time to like most, most of them don't have time to like, let you know how they felt about your movie or your show, you know, even now with like, before there was no way to do it unless they bumped into you on the street or wrote you a handwritten letter. Yeah. But now with like the internet, you know, and like all that social media, which I'm not on, it's easy to, to, to write someone that you like and say, Hey, I loved what you did. But, but quite honestly, most like normal people. They're shy to do that or they don't want to do it or they think that, you know, or they don't have time to do it.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

It's the people that kind of are, are, are negative that have the time and the inclination to want to do that. Like we all know. At the

Robyn Cohen:

same time, the fact that they're taking their time on earth to like write these things and then persist, like on some level, doesn't that occur to you, like they're kind of obsessed with you. Do you know what I mean? Like they're kind of in this weird way, like they, like, if you don't like him, if you don't like her so much, why are you always following her? Why are you always following him? Like there's some kind of fandom in that, some weird you know?

Eric S:

No, listen, I didn't even see the movie, but I, someone told me about a scene from a movie that Billy Bob Thorne played a character and he burned down a church. It was like, I think a good movie, but, and I didn't see it. And I think The priest comes out and, and, and some version I'm bastardizing the story, but it comes out to Billy Bob Thornton and like puts his arm around him and just says like somehow comforts him. And all Billy Bob Thornton's character wanted was just to belong. So he burned the church down because he was so angry, but he just wanted to be part of things, you know, that's really like what it all is everybody like I, what, what helps me is I have a vision of me dead and like in some kind of heaven. And And like all the people that were so mean to me come right, like I'll start crying right now, come running up to me all happy to see me and go, hi. And I go, hi. And they're like, oh, I didn't feel that way. I was just scared. And I didn't know how to say like, I really like you. And I wanted to be like, you're a friend, but family. Thought that you thought I was a dumb, like, so I have this vision that, cause that's all any of us. That doesn't mean everyone likes my movies. Of course not. Of course not. But like, it's what you're saying, the vitriol that comes at my, at my work, the polarization of like, I'm the Beatles or I'm the antichrist, you know, and then I'll take a line like that. Like I'm not really in the middle. People don't have an opinion in the middle. It's you're not trying to be

Robyn Cohen:

though. We're artists aren't trying to

Eric S:

remember. I said something like this isn't a thing and the guy put it in. Oh, he thinks he's Jesus. I don't know. Like, cause I said, don't kill the messenger. And so the guy tried to say, I think I'm Jesus Christ. Anyway, it's like, there's gotta be a reason. Like, I must touch something in you that you're so terrified of in yourself that you can't speak. Speak to, you can't acknowledge that it terrifies you and so you, you have to hate me because of it. Because that's the only way someone could be. You read these things and it's like, dude, I'll have people say, did you like that guy's daughter? Like, what did you do? Like, what'd you do to that guy?

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

And I'm like, I just wrote this little funny movie where like, I'm living with a roommate. We're going to kill ourselves in a month. Like, it's not like, you know, it's like an influence, you fell, you know, it's like not a big, I'm like, how did that warrant like that? You like say that I'm like a serial killer waiting to happen. Like those don't add up, you know? So yeah. Yeah. So it's gotta be that because if you just didn't like my movie, if you looked at it and said, Oh, I don't think that's funny. Yeah. Just kind of like, you know, like I don't think Robyn Williams is that funny. It's just not my cup of tea.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

I don't like write letters about it. I don't like be mean to the guy. I don't like find his family and write them letters. Yeah. Hate letter. Yeah. I just, that guy's not my favorite comedian. and there's some movies I did like him. Weirdly enough, like a couple of movies that bombed. I like love. What was that patch Adams? I thought he was so good.

Robyn Cohen:

Brilliant. I love that. I cried through the whole thing. I know, I know, I know. By the way, for our listeners, I'm going to toggle over the explicit button where you can say if this episode is going to be one of the explicit ones. I'm so excited. Okay. So, what you just shared is so sort of like, It's so useful whether you're in the arts being criticized publicly, or not. I think that's such a good reminder that, like, their hate mail or their negativity is really not ours to hold. It's, just not ours to hold.

Eric S:

But it's never about you, and I know that, and I, listen, there's that, the story about this guy following Buddha around, you know, being like, you're an asshole, Buddha, you're an idiot. And, like, through. Fall. You're an idiot. Through winter. Through spring. Finally, Buddha turns to the guy and says, listen, can I ask you a question? And the guy's like, yeah. If someone gives another person a gift and they don't want the gift, who owns the gift? And the guy said, the guy that gave it. And he said, right. So if I don't accept your anger, who owns your anger? And the guy just like sculpted away. Wow. That's gorgeous. Right. It's like, but I can't. It's so much easier said than done. Yeah. I can't do it. I have friends that are like, Oh, they're talking about you. Like you said, Oh, at least they're talking about you. I'm like, I don't want, it just hurts me. It hurts my, listen, I'm thin skinned that way.

Robyn Cohen:

I

Eric S:

just don't, it never has been okay with me. And that's why I'm not on social media. Yeah. Well, I,

Robyn Cohen:

I wanted to talk about that journey a little bit because first of all, can we just, can we just give listeners who don't yet know you or don't know the, the bigger picture about you, like a little bit of a, sort of an overview of. your life in New York City, driving a taxi, getting into show business, being really like a key figure in the indie world and in TV, and then You know, becoming a father and, like, the social media, sort of getting off the grid in certain ways, the question is, Let's just start from when you were, um, when you were in a creative flush, driving a taxi. What in you, what kept you going and motivated to write 20, 20 screenplays? Like what, what had you continue to like? go after it like Hercules, what is, what are some of the ingredients that go into making up you, Eric that, gave rise to such a unique, uh, career and life and experience? What are, what are some of your inspirations for that? Like, or what about you made a life like yours with all of its facets possible?

Eric S:

Well, it's, you know, it's, it's like, I, there's just, I am. I don't mean to be, I want to say pedantic. I use these words now. I have kids. I don't know what they mean, but they sound good. Like, um, you know, like I, I, I just am, am who I am. So I had this drive, I got out of college and I had this insatiable, like blinders on drive to, I didn't even know what it, I wanted to make movies, right? So I wanted to write, direct, star and act in my own movies.

Robyn Cohen:

Who

Eric S:

no one does. I

Robyn Cohen:

mean, so few people on the planet ever do that kind of writing, directing, starring, I mean, director. So you have this drive, where does this drive come from? How do you get this life force? I don't know, I'm little, I'm

Eric S:

a little kid. I wanted to be the Beatles and I wanted to be Walt Frazier and play pro basketball. And I wanted to be a musician like when I'm a little boy. You just like loved

Robyn Cohen:

movies. You love, I just wanted

Eric S:

to do it. Yeah. I just wanted to do it. Okay. Crystallize acting, but then in college and when I got out of crystallize and I want to make movies, I always loved movies. I love movies. I'd make little movies when I was six and seven with a super eight camera, but I love movies. And so I get out of college and I start driving the cab because it affords me as much money and freedom as I need. So I was driving 50 hours a week between Friday and Monday. So I would drive like 15 hours a day, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to make enough money to live in an apartment and then write for 10 hours a day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Robyn Cohen:

Okay, for listeners who say that they need more time. It seems like there is time somewhere you can carve out and create the time you need when it's a, when it's a love story with a thing, just like you do with a lover. Somehow when you fall in love, you find extra hours in the day to see that person. Same. It sounds like, what you're sharing is like, I just have a drive, 50 extra hours. Wow.

Eric S:

Well, I work 50 hours to listen. I don't want to get into like kids today. You know, let's not get started to there. People growing up now, it's not their fault. They, they're, they're in a world where they're taught and, and for good reason that like, it's in a lot of ways, it's easy. They can just make a little video for 30 seconds or 50 seconds, put it on YouTube, go viral, and they can actually have a career. Like, so it's not their fault to think that it's easy.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah,

Eric S:

because it can be easy. When I was growing up, you couldn't independent film was even hard to do. And you still needed hundreds of thousands of dollars to do it. Like to make a little independent film on 16 millimeter, but it was the eighties. It was the spec script boom. So you were taught that if you wrote a script and could sell it, you could sell it for a million in a bidding. So I was like, okay, well, that's what I'll do because that's the easiest Avenue that no one can say. No, I've created a life where no one can say no No, doesn't stop me. Like, so I wanted to

Robyn Cohen:

I wanted to create

Eric S:

a way, a life that no one had the ability to say no

Robyn Cohen:

and have

Eric S:

that be the end all. So the way I could do that is I could drive the cab, make enough money to write and act and produce my own film. No one could say no to that. As long as I had enough money and people to help me, no one can say no. They can then say, no, they're not going to buy it and distribute it like at that point, but at least at the like alpha and omega to make the film, no one can say no. So I, but I was writing these screenplays. I couldn't sell any. Finally, I turned 30. I've been driving the cab for nine years. I'm like, well, forget this. I'm gonna make a movie because it's been 10 years of me trying to be an actor, trying to get an agent, trying to do all this. And it was, and I couldn't, I couldn't do it. No one was hiring me. I couldn't get an agent. No one was buying my screenplays. I couldn't find an agent to help me sell them. So I finally said, I'm I find it, you know, my father had, had quit. He was a song and dance guy on Broadway and, uh, and, and, and, uh, and a musical theater guy. And then he quit at 30 because he felt like, I think he couldn't do it. And I desperately did not want to quit and be like my father, who I love and adore and he's dead. But, um, so when I turned 30 and it had been 10 years, I had this like spiritual awakening. I thought it wouldn't be. quitting to stop now, it's so painful to smash my head against the wall for 10 years. I can choose to just stop for a while. And it doesn't mean I'm a quitter. It means I'm choosing to not sign up to get annihilated in my life. And maybe I'll try to make a movie not. But then I said, but so then I went to see a movie called laws of gravity, which was made by a guy named Nick Gomez. It came out, he made it for like 40, 000. It had been to Sundance. It was the first like no budget movie. in the early 90s that ever came out and really saw the light of day. There were people like John Sayles and people making films, but the first one that came on my radar that really made some noise was this laws of gravity. And I saw that and I said, If that guy can get a movie in a movie theater for 40, 000, I can do that. So I, so before I choose to stop and not be a quitter, but I felt kind of a calm that I never had about a choice to stop for a while, it'd been 10 years. I worked my ass off. Like I told you, I said, well, at least before I do that, let me make a movie. I moved home at 30 live with my mom, which was a whole beautiful thing in and of itself. And drove the cab, saved money, scrounged together, had a friend, Donny, we, we wanted to do it together. We scrounged together like 17, 000 and made My Life's an Interner. We made this film. I'd never been on a film set in my life. But I just knew how to do it. I just knew how to do it. I just said, okay, well you, you're the camera guy, tell it, we're going to walk down here. We had written it, we were directing it. And sort of the rest is history. You know, that movie did well enough that, um, I never drove a cab again, you know, I never drove a cab again. And that was in 1992. We made that film and it came out in 1994. So it's been 30 years and, and, and I've. You know, it's just since then, it's just been insanity, right? It's been like, I would make some money in a TV show. I would take it all and make if Lucy fell, you know, or, or, or, or make a movie. It would bomb in terms of box office and I would lose all my money, but then I would get a TV show and I would make a little chunk of money, you know, 400, 500, 000. I don't mean to put that down, but in this world of like billion billionaires. So it's like a lot of money, 400 grand, but then I would put it all on a film. Like every last cent I have make that film, like no trust fund, no money in the back, all the money I, I had invested that would now be worth 300 million I took out to make a film in 1996. So because I wanted to make movies, I wanted to do this. So I just kept doing it. I just kept doing it. And so the answer to your question is like, what makes me a person that had blinders on like that? And I will say that all through it, the design for my life was that I desperately wanted children and knew that they were the. The conduit to everything important in the world. And I wanted to have them in my late fifties so that they would not compete with my passion for my career. So it was always the plan to have kids when I had came and conquered career wise. Not that, you know, in whatever version that was to me. I'm making 10 feature films and 100 episodes of television. I certainly have more stories I'd like to tell, but if I died today, at least I would say I fucking did that, you know what I mean? And as you said, I'll be on the subway in New York and some Israeli dude will say, Oh my God, I watched a movie from yours. I bought in a kiosk in Tehran, like, and it's my favorite film. You know what I mean? So like, A person will come out of the woodwork like that when I feel like no one cares, no one listens. I'm a loser. I suck. And someone will come out of thin air like that and say, listen, I have a tattoo of a line of yours. And I, I read a poem that you wrote at our wedding with my wife. And then I like, Oh my God, like someone's listening and I should keep going. So anyway, I did all that. And then, um, had, had kids in my fifties, you know, and so I, you know, and listen, we all need to unite. That's what I've tried to do my whole career is unite us. So like somebody might want to pick apart or, or, or internalize and what we started off. It's always about us, right? It's always, we're saying what we feel and like it or not, it's just my fact of my life. I'm sitting here in Vermont. It's hard to get a job. Yes. Yes. It's complicated. Yeah. But for me, my life with my ass sitting on this chair, I'm going to feed a three year old and a five year old. It's hard to get a job.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah. And

Eric S:

I've been told why. So anyway.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

The flip side of that coin is I still can make a minute video for no money if I want to, if I want to spend hours a day going on social media and letting everyone know it's there, I could get a job that way. And listen, I have some irons in the fire, you know, that are, you know,

Robyn Cohen:

always really

Eric S:

interesting and helpful. But I'm just saying, Oh, that's like, so like who, who am I to be who I am? It's like, it's just, I can't tell you that. It's just like, and I couldn't teach it to anybody. Like I can, like you either have to have that willingness to work. your ass off because you, you'll die if you don't get it done.

Robyn Cohen:

that is the learning that we can take. I mean, how, you know, you said it earlier, no one's going to, No one can tell you no. And that yes, you would find a way if you wanted to today to go on social media, post some things and get a job. Yes, you could do that. Yes, I could. Um, let me ask you this. We could it right now. Uh, we'll do it right after this we'll post this podcast and then you'll have 10 jobs lined up. Um, and so, okay, so through this journey and taking the reins and just deciding and just going after it like a beast, uh, because you wanted to and you wanted to get it done, I can so, experience and hear with you that, yeah, Yeah. Yeah. You're so, I know what it feels like, like you to sort of have no skin, that sensitivity, that feeling of walking around like a raw nerve while we're trying to forge ahead, and you kept going and you did, you got, you have gotten these amazing things accomplished. Like huge milestones in the industry, huge milestones in your personal life, in your family life. Like. You've gotten it done. So how did you manage that kind of raw sensitivity, that kind of the angst? How do you manage the sort of gutting? Experiences the the massive disappointments. How do you manage all that? Like, what would you tell listeners they can do that will, aside from brute force. allow them to keep going on their journey when it's so hard and we're so sensitive and it's so painful when they tell you no or when they say they didn't like it. Like, What are some of the things that you actually did that kept you on the path to creating a life of peace? your dreams by your design. you know, it's very dysregulating to the central nervous system. Just reading a review, like it can take you out for like hours, days, weeks, a year. Right. So like and you still managed to have these phenomenal, you put, you know, magnificent work into the world through all that. How do you do that? How did you keep going?

Eric S:

Well, listen, before I don't want to forget because you said, you know, she mentioned that everyone watching, like, you know, you weren't starved or gravity and you're so brilliant. Just forget as a human being, but as an actress, you're so good. Some of my favorite moments of starved or, or, or as a part you played in our scenes and, and it brings, listen, it brings me like you're saying, okay, so it brings me angst because starved was so good. And, and our scenes together, like our, she, she played a yoga teacher, right? A vegan yoga teacher. And like, you know, we, we hook up in, in the show and, and there's just a really sound when you

Robyn Cohen:

try to kill a cockroach. And I say, no, that's a sentient being no different than you or me or a horse or a dog. And then things, right.

Eric S:

And like, she sees like one of the legs of the cockroach that I had, like, Put a cup over and tried to save its life by dragging it across the wall and putting it out the window, which I did, but one leg got pulled off and like she sees the leg of the cockroach. And it's like, what is that? And that starts this conversation, like, listen,

Robyn Cohen:

but that conversation about really

Eric S:

good.

Robyn Cohen:

Thank you. And that conversation about what a vegan really is, the back and forth about, about is a fish an animal like that? And as a vegan, I can't tell you how many people have come to me with that scene that you wrote about what is a vegan? No, you don't But what if you eat fish, you eat fish, don't you? I'm like, well, is a fish an animal, right? And so many people, vegans or no, have come to me and said, Thank you and Eric Schaeffer for really illuminating what the heck is a vegan. It's too funny. So

Eric S:

it's on YouTube. I think because it's you can find it. It's starved. I forget what episode it is, but like starved is on YouTube. People have ripped it and put it on there because unfortunately Because of soundtrack rights, it'll probably never go on to any kind of back onto any streaming thing, but on YouTube, people ripped it and put it on there so you can see it, but that's a classic example. So that's something that I love deeply. And that just the way the cookie crumbled. FX put our show on and Sunday in Philadelphia on and they could bring back one of the two shows and we were doing the same number of viewers, but our audience for starved was so across the board. It was, I would meet an 80 year old black men that would say, I love your show. 13 year old girls, 50, 60 year old. So many people identified because it was, my stuff has heart like it or not. It has heart. And, and in Philadelphia was like 13 to 50, 49 year old boys. Like it was right up the demographic. They could bring back one show. They brought back that and not mine. So I try not to focus on my life. Had I been the one they brought back, but just. You know, you could look at it that I would have sold in syndication for 200 million. I would have become, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Or maybe because I was such a crazy, fragile, emotional being at that time in my life, I might've driven my car off Moho and drive and died. You know what I mean? Like who the hell knows? Like I was out of my mind when we were making that show. All this stuff was emotionally. So I try to look at life and this is to answer your question that like, I don't know what's good for me. Like I need to leave it to the powers that be out there and be so grateful that I'm sitting where I'm sitting with two knock on wood, healthy, gorgeous little girls. Right. Knock on wood. I'm, I'm healthy enough seemingly to be okay. I still get to do this stuff. I have a roof over my head and God only knows what would have happened to me had I gotten everything I asked for, you know, really? Because so the way that I've kept going through all of that,

Robyn Cohen:

yeah,

Eric S:

because at two in the morning when you're lying there, when you look on, listen, I still, my lower self, I still don't watch anything that. That FX puts out, like I had still, I'm angry from 25 years ago, like, and I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot, but it's like, but then again, why do you want to go to the house of someone who like murdered your family? Like, I don't want to go to dinner there. You know what I mean? So like, in a way I do think it's understandable. You know, I'm also grateful FX did my show seven episodes.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah. Like

Eric S:

what if they'd never done the seven episodes?

Robyn Cohen:

So

Eric S:

like, I'm going to have to look at life. I choose to look at life under a couple ideas. One is I don't want to die. The pain that you're talking about of being ripped open and eviscerated. And because of

Robyn Cohen:

burned all of that

Eric S:

while on a degree of a pinprick to soul annihilation, depending on what it is, is still not nearly As painful as lying in bed at night and not having had the guts to try.

Robyn Cohen:

Oh my God. Mic drop.

Eric S:

That's, that's the equation. If I die and I was too afraid to try and risk that feeling, is that better than risking, trying, and having that feeling a thousand times over? And the answer is no, it's not. I want to leave it all out on the playing field. I will tell you that having done my plan of being 63, making all the stuff I've made, now having kids, not having the burning desire necessarily like I did to create, while I, although I do still want to do it. The, the trouble is that's allowed voices to penetrate that never used to penetrate. So when you ask me, how did I keep doing it? It's because I had blinders. And even though I would be hurt that that happened, I'd say, fuck you, fuck you. Fuck you. I'm going to make the next one. Cause I want to, cause I'm great. That's how I had to feel. Michael Jordan misses 20, you know, it's just how they are. It's a shooter mentality. Michael Jordan. There was a great commercial where Michael Jordan, like best basketball player of all time. It was like Michael Jordan, like didn't make his, his varsity high school team. Michael Jordan has missed like a thousand shots. Michael Jordan, like, but because he dared all that. He's the greatest basketball player. Like no one looks at all, you know, so I just had those blinders on that. I didn't give a fuck at the end of the day. I don't deeply believe any of that on the surface level, my ego will get hurt. But when I really think when I, and listen, I have a prayer meditation practice and a yoga practice for 40 years. Like, so what do I do? You know, I don't drink or do drugs. I, you know, I, I pray, I meditate, I try to help people like that's, that's the kind of. That's what I do. I mean, I'm bad at it,

Robyn Cohen:

but I try. But we'll earmark that because, you know, the way you say, yeah, I do this and this and for 40 years. I mean, we'll get into that. But what I, I really hear is like pitting fear against fear. Like, I'm terrified to put myself out there after they just shredded me and broke my heart. I'm scared of that, but I'm going to pit it against my own fear. I'm more afraid of getting to the end. And never having tried, it's like you pit your own fear against itself, which, and it's weighing which is the greater, which weighs more, and it's the, it's the pain of regret, not the pain of the process. I think the weightier

Eric S:

100%, oh my god, but you didn't try? Yeah, yeah. You didn't try because you were afraid that someone was going to say I don't like you? Like

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

Again, I don't mean to put anybody down. It does suck, you know, and as I said,

Robyn Cohen:

it stops most of us. That's fear.

Eric S:

Most human beings. And it's starting to stop me. And it's even starting to stop me a little more because I've allowed, as I told you, like the whole setup has sort of been achieved. Lucky enough to have two beautiful kids and a, a wonderful relationship, you know, wife.

Robyn Cohen:

Yes.

Eric S:

And yes, I want to make stories, but it's not the burning desire. Like I never made a movie and I, how could I die with never having made a movie? It's not that so as a result, and then you add in fucking social media and the computer and how quickly they can get to you, you know, and that it's in your home, like it's, they're talking to you in your home, right? It's some dude sitting at the table saying that shit to you. Cause it's on your computer, right? and you're sitting in your underwear and it's the most intimate. You're naked. Literally, and you read that and then you have to go to bed and it's in your head, right? So like I've allowed that shit to get to me and because I know I can't deal with it. I'm off the internet I'm off the internet.

Robyn Cohen:

Well, I love that choice. I love that it's A life on your terms and in terms of the fear and what you're doing now it sounds to me from what you shared. The idea was to do exactly What you're doing right now the two miracles that are somewhere in the next room your wife your family This home this life you have built with possibly the two most magically delicious girls You know, is, is the fulfillment of something that you set out to do. And it did, I imagine, look and feel something like this. So yes and

Eric S:

no. I mean, like relationship stuff, you know, like my wife's fantastic human being. But, and the kids are great, but no, and that's what I want to write about now because that's not out

Robyn Cohen:

there. What's the no? It doesn't

Eric S:

look anything. It doesn't really look. The heart is exactly what I thought it would be, but the logistics, nothing like I thought it would be. What's the

Robyn Cohen:

difference? What's the biggest difference?

Eric S:

Well, like I had no idea how hard it was to raise children and have a long term relationship with a woman, for me, with a woman. My choice. I had no idea and that love all the shit that I write in my movie I hate to say I feel like I was a crack pusher that thing got sober. It's like people all fall. It's so God It's so achingly romantic. I'm like, yeah, but none of that's true Believe what I was saying. I was a child. I didn't understand anything.

Robyn Cohen:

We were looking for love in all the wrong places. We were addicts. It like

Eric S:

love, whatever. And then it's like sex, how sex changes and that kind of intimacy, intimacy with, and women are never told, like women are never told anything about it. Like, and I know that because my wife's like, no one told me that I didn't, I wouldn't want to have sex. For five years because I have babies crawling on my breath, you know,

Robyn Cohen:

like she didn't

Eric S:

know that

Robyn Cohen:

right,

Eric S:

like, and then no men know that because no women know that. And so no men are like that whole joke of well you're married now you'll never get laid again let's like. And that's like some dumb joke, but like when it's really just like, so like sex and intimacy with a long term relationship, kids, the screaming when they scream and they don't do what you want. It's like you love them, but yet it's just, it's nothing like what I thought it would be. well then, but then when you look at that and you want to start start crying, that's what I knew. That's true.

Robyn Cohen:

He's holding up a little baby tennis shoe. He's holding up a tennis shoe. Yeah.

Eric S:

Right. So when you see that and you start weeping, that adds up one for one. Like that's what I thought it would be. And that's what it is. But and that's just the love, the love. It's beyond people say it's beyond even someone who is as capable of love as I was. You don't get it. It's to the nth degree of that. They're right. Like, you don't get it. So that's, like, true. But everything else is like a fucking shit show. So that's what I'd like to write about. That's what I want to

Robyn Cohen:

write about. The disparity between what you thought when you were writing those love stories and what it actually is.

Eric S:

Well, yeah, and what it is because a lot of people, I think, would get help from that. They'd be like, oh my god. Yes. So I'm not defective and awful because I have these feelings about my relationship and my kids, you know, but see, the thing that's tricky is kids are tricky because writing about kids and writing about, cause we're all as we should be hypersensitive about kids. So it's a slippery slope to really speak as honestly as I would like to. It's not a slippery slope. You can't do it.

Robyn Cohen:

You can't

Eric S:

do it.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

And, and it's a shi You could do it, but, and it would help a lot of people,

Robyn Cohen:

but it usually won't end well for the family. I would imagine. No,

Eric S:

it won't help. No, no, no. I mean, it won't help. No, I don't mean that. Forget that. Well, there's that too. I don't want shit to be out there that my kids get right. Is that what you mean?

Robyn Cohen:

Yes. They'll

Eric S:

see that. I felt that way. Right. There's that. I wasn't even thinking of that. I was thinking about the whole sort of cancel culture before you even get there. Like, I mean, if people were, you know, when I wrote hyperbolically and a book I wrote in 2007 called, I Can't Believe I'm Still Single, I wrote a hyperbolic passage about He was the most dated

Robyn Cohen:

man on the internet in the year. Was it 2000? The highest, high, what was it? You literally had the The most

Eric S:

Number one most like, yeah, yeah. But, but I, but I cheated to

Robyn Cohen:

get that. Like the number one person in the dating world eligible bachelor on the planet. Like literally this is a distinction that you can have with dating sites and dating apps and in the world of, online dating. And Eric, literally, I remember we were in a Starbucks and you told me, you're like, uh, strangely I've been crowned. I've been crowned. Yeah. No,

Eric S:

no, no, but I had cheated. I cheated. I had cheated because the way that you get, and I did it as like a crazy lark just because I wanted to, that if you click, if someone views your profile, that's how you get to be number one. The amount of people that view your profile and nobody was viewing my profile, I couldn't get a date. So, but how do you, how do you view someone's profile if they view you?

Robyn Cohen:

Oh, okay. So you tripped the system. You went and you clicked on thousands.

Eric S:

I spent 15 hours a day for six months. Clicking, clicking, clicking, housewife, six year old housewife in Kentucky, click, click.

Robyn Cohen:

And this was for a show. This was to create a show around, by the way, for our listeners and viewers. You were doing this as part, this was an art project for you too, because then you were in talks with a network about a dating show starring you and I forget, I forget why I did it, why did I do it? Why did I do it? Why did I do it? Why did I do it?

Eric S:

Like, sadly, I, I had that amount of time. I'd wake up bleary eyed at two in the morning and just put in an hour of clicks. Like I'd wake up in the night

Robyn Cohen:

just to see if you could, just to see if you could rise to the top. That's credible. Yeah. And I rose

Eric S:

50th, 30th, 12th. I had a hard time getting over number two. Number one, the unseating, the real number one.'cause he was like, you know, great guy. Like he was a great guy.

Robyn Cohen:

Talk about blinders on that guy,

Eric S:

Anyway, so it's like, you know, look, I, again, I've wasted so much time being negative, you know, but I guess it is true because a lot of us feel this way. And a lot of us feel like we can go down these dark holes, you know, and, and it's, I guess, important to know that other people do that because when you ask, how do you keep going with all that? I guess it's just that I had this, um, like we said, like my desire and my belief deep down in the quiet moment when you put your hand on your heart and the other one on your belly, and you just breathe deeply. And you go, is that true that I'm terrible and that my movie sucked? Like do I think that? And I go, no, I thought my movie was really good. And then I go, well, do you want to make another one? I'm like, yeah, I really want to. And in that moment, then you stand up and, and walk again. But I don't know. There's no way to teach that. You might, I might be done. Like I might be like, you know, I don't, but here's another, um, kind of formula. When I think, Oh, I don't have any more stories to tell, you know what I mean? I'm like, I've told them it's fine. Then I think, okay, what if Robyn said, Hey, I found this like angel investor and he loves your work and he loves my work. And if there's something we want to do together, I could give you 2 million to make your next film. Do you have any story you'd want to tell? I'd be like, fuck yeah, I do.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

So when I use that. Bye. Bye.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

When I use that as like the formula for am I really done? It's like, of course I'm not done. So then you have to ask yourself, well, why am I saying I'm done? And it's because I'm scared. You've been saying you're done

Robyn Cohen:

though since I met you. Have you not had the jargon? Like, I'm when there have been times where there has been a kind of a blow. I think maybe we've all done that. This might not be personal to you, but there is that sort of aftermath of like, I'm done. I'm out of here. We don't mean it. No,

Eric S:

it's like, no, it's like asking a boxer who, a boxer who just got his face beat up Are you going to retire? Yeah, I'm going to retire. And but so when I asked myself again, I put myself to that paradigm. Do I want to stop because I'm too scared of getting beat up? And the answer is no, I don't. So listen, logistically, because of the kids in my life and my lack of money, it might take me a little while, but I have a couple of projects that I'm super excited about. And, and hopefully they can share anything.

Robyn Cohen:

Can you share about any of them? Uh, these projects, already shared one of you

Eric S:

and you're, well, you're gonna like, listen. So I've had this idea for a long time, knock on wood. It hasn't, no one else has done it yet. Um, but this idea for this TV animated show called acting like animals, where. Our world is exactly like it is, but the, but animals are the human beings, the human beings are the animal. So in the way that the woke thing, the radical right, the radical left, all this stuff, uh, animal cruelty, all this stuff we do in this show, it's animals. Dogs are the people that walk and talk. And there's a hierarchy of animals that are the good animals and the privileged animals and the ones that are the minority animals. But like, for instance, like, you know, if they're, if they're testing Revlon's testing perfume, it's a baby, a human baby stapled to the wall with its eyes opened. And they're dripping perfume in its eyes to see if it'll scream or not. Like it's dark as fuck. Right. And, and the dog characters are like Johnson and Johnson and like DuPont. And like, so that's what I want to do because, and there's also my sort of my humor in it and my social sexual. Frank conversation. We're going to have to go, Oh, this seems so obvious, but now I can see how we act is like ridiculous as a human. And the fact that I'm criminal, not criminal, is a criminal morality, sex, trans bathrooms, like all the shit, right? Like that's going on in our world. That's dividing us. Hopefully my, my hope is, is seeing it in this world, flipped up side down that people will, and it seems so obvious, but we'll go, Oh, wait a minute. I'm acting crazy to have that point of view, or I need to listen to like, we need to have a conversation.

Like

Eric S:

in the olden days, see, I'm old enough that you could have a different political view. And if it wasn't something awful, like a fucking pedophile kid murderer, like who you don't, you know, that that's out. But if it's someone who was just voting for someone different, you could have, you'd be friends with them. So I was like up where I go for a run every day and there was like a guy with a pickup truck and he had, he was a carpenter and he was 60 my age and had a dog and we started chatting and then I noticed he had like a camouflage Harris Walsh hat on. So they, they put out these camouflage hats like, so, Hey, you can be a manly hunter and still vote for Kamal. And he had this hat on and I, listen, I have all kinds of centrist views. I just want a world where people are happy and love each other. Like some. right and left. So anyway, I had this instant thought of like, well, don't talk to this fucking guy And then I thought, wait a minute, like he's a nice guy. We're having a nice conversation, like who gives a fuck that he's going to vote for, for whoever. And I didn't vote for Trump and I didn't vote for Harris, but I'm just saying like, and I thought if someone like me who comes from a world of, of when you're allowed to have differences and that's the whole way it works is we have differences and we talk about it and that's our only way out. If someone like me has the brainwashing just recently to like, have the instinct to go, fuck it, don't talk to this guy. Imagine people that are younger, like it's not their fault. They're raised in this world. Their, their brains are just.

Robyn Cohen:

what do you want to tell the world? and, or what are you telling your children about this? what do you tell people? What do you tell people?

Eric S:

Like, just be kind, be kind, be kind and listen, walk a mile in the other guy's shoes, all those things like that. You learn, right?

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

Like be kind, help people look at yourself. When I get angry at somebody, I consider, Oh, how do I do that? Like the wise person. That's what they say. They don't, they're, they're smart enough not to realize it has nothing to do with you that I'm mad at you. It's that I do that myself. And I have to look at, Oh God, am I selfish? I can be a selfish prick. I can be a really generous person, but I can be really selfish and really self centered.

Robyn Cohen:

When people can't see that, like you can, Are you a proponent of getting help, of seeking, help, doing whatever we can, mental health. So yes. Yeah.

Eric S:

All of it. All of it. Because who, especially now. You, you're, you're, you're, you can't be out of this unscathed. You can't be raised as a human being in our culture and not be, and get out of it unscathed, like you're scathed, like we're all scathed. So it's like therapy. If you're have a 12 step program, if, if that's for you, if you, if you have a yoga, prayer, meditation. I don't give a, I don't give a fuck what it is. Yeah. But it's gotta be something.

Robyn Cohen:

What's a day in the life for you in inside of your highest values and having congruency in your life, Like what is a day in the life for you these days?

Eric S:

Okay, so I'll like, you know, I, I wake up at, when the kids wake us up at like 5, 5 30. You know, and, and I wish I had, I could wake up before them and pray and meditate and like take a cold shower and go for a run. I wish I had the willingness to do that at 4am because I'd be a much better human being and I'm you and Jeff

Robyn Cohen:

Goldblum. I talked to Jeff Goldblum after he had, uh, He has two little boys who aren't as little anymore, but, He's been doing transcendental meditation for decades and decades, and, um, a very rich spiritual life, and would meditate every single day until He had children and I was, you know, I asked him, what, how does it, what does that look like? And he's like, Oh, we don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't meditate. Uh, so he, like you is sort of met with the must do's of the morning and the essential things that have to happen. And sometimes, well, it sounds like all the time, it's your children's. Basic needs and beyond that would take precedence over meditating. Well,

Eric S:

but it's that, yes, but it's weighing the couple hours of, of decompressed time watching TV the night before against, Wait, like what's going to serve me better. Can I zone out for two hours and watch poker on TV or do something at the end of the day to chill? Because if I do that, then I can't wake up at 4am or 5am. So I wish. And so both are valid. Like anyone who like you get through the like intensity of the day. I want to just have two hours to just zone out on TV. But if I do that, then I need enough sleep that gets me up at five, not at, or at six, not at four, right? Not at not. So I wish I had the willingness to not do that two hours and just, just see what happened. Like wake up, do that two hours in the morning, doing all this stuff to get emotionally prepared and spiritually prepared. I haven't had that willingness yet. And I keep saying, trying to put it out. I wish I did.

Robyn Cohen:

Though, it seems like from what you shared about this, you know, ineffable the love that, um, sort of overwhelms your life with children, that that in itself is a prayer, is a meditation. That love that you experience, unlike anything and beyond anything from before, it's like that, that infusion into your life, it's like that, that is oft times, Why I, you know, sit down to pray or meditate, it's like, I want to be filled with that love.

Eric S:

but the problem is that I'm like, you know, I'm, I'm a radically imperfect person and have my own triggers and stuff from my own childhood. And obviously when you have kids, it's right in your face. You have these. Not flashbacks, but whatever happened to you

and

Eric S:

you say, I'll never be angry like my dad. I'll never be whatever.

And

Eric S:

then of course you are, you have to be, there's no way for you not. And so the only way to not be is to like set myself up with a rigorous introspection and visualization of how I'm not going to be like that in the moment. And sometimes you can't do it because it triggers a trigger. I mean, meditation is putting space between that, you know, putting space. So like reaction.

Robyn Cohen:

And so when

Eric S:

my daughter screams, no I have a visceral, like, how do I find the space to not go stop it? Or I'm your father. Listen to me. I know that's not effective. It's not helping her. It's not helping me. Like in the moments when I do, when I get angry, like anybody does. And so no amount of love for them, this supersedes it. It's like a built in wiring. Like I've spent 40 years, like trying to fix myself and I've made some marginal you know, progress. So that's what I mean. Like, that's not going to, all the love in the world is not going to change that. It's actually going to be worse. Cause then I'm going to feel more like a schmuck. When I yelled at this poor little five year old girl, who's like, That's what she's supposed to be doing. She's supposed to It's like her DNA and her brain. She's supposed to yell no

Robyn Cohen:

yeah.

Eric S:

I'm supposed to be the adult and know that she's supposed to yell no to me.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

You know, and not back at her.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

But you don't know that because you know it, but, but your body tells you, Don't yell at me.

Robyn Cohen:

yeah.

Eric S:

So I'm saying like, it takes such effort and I, and so I, I wanna try not to watch two hours of mindless television to decompress at night. yeah. And try to wake up earlier to like really get prepared and in a, in a good place.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

So that when I know what's gonna come down the pike is them yelling no. about getting dressed or running the opposite way, that I have a better chance not to act like that.

Robyn Cohen:

And what a beautiful intention to put out there. Like, I'm going to get better at this. I think for all of us, just doing it and trying again and getting a little better and, and taking those daily steps, like that's how we ultimately kick it down the road. And so listening to you, Eric, it's like, It's so amazing, like, your humanness and just how I, I can imagine people listening who have kids or don't have kids, but they're on the merry go round of life. They're in the rodeo. It's full on. And, and that you do have, be, create all that you do within the course of any given day and over the course of your life. It's like extraordinary. And I, I just want to, like, Like, do you ever acknowledge, how do you acknowledge yourself, like, do you ever have time to just be like, yeah, cause I think that's something that goes missing for people, creatives or non creatives, but there's this like, I'm gonna keep going, I'm putting it out there, I'm putting out all this stuff, but Like, when you were sharing, like, all the things that you do, and, you're providing, and, getting through the day, and you wake up, and there they are, and you still have projects that you're gonna put out there, and do you ever give yourself, like, Hey, I did that. I done good here. that kind of pat on the back, do you allow? Cause I am over here, I'm just like, I just wanna hug you and be like, you're amazing. Like, I'm like over here, I'm like, I'm like, Who does all

this?

Robyn Cohen:

Like, Who? Nobody. Like, who does all this? And for people who are listening who are also like, you're like in the midst of this extraordinary life experience and I just want to be like, oh my god, like, well done. Hey, well done. Well done. And I think, you know, I think the world needs that. You know, we're in the rat race on the hamster wheel, right? It's like, go, go, go, which is so dysregulating, right? To the central nervous system to always be on a hamster wheel. So it's like, ah, I just really, I just want to like acknowledge you and And if you don't, will you take time on the daily to acknowledge yourself and the unique and beautiful and amazing and dynamic. contribution that you are to the world and to the people that are in your world. Like, do you take time to do that?

Eric S:

Well, thank you for saying that. I mean, listen, I 20 times during our talk today. You're like the best at all this. So like you're, you're all the questions you asked to me, you're, you're, that's why I started off by being so inspired by you. You are I mean, you're, you're doing so much of, of like you're living your dreams and always unfailingly that it's just, you know, that's why I'm so inspired by you because you don't, I can't imagine you ever feel, you know, by anything because you're so in the solution of like living your dreams all the time. You're the most positive person I've ever met. The difference

Robyn Cohen:

though, Eric, and thank you for saying that the difference is, um, it's taken a couple of decades for the mask to become the woman. They say the mask becomes the man. Okay. And you know, so much of this podcast, which was inspired by my late brother, who before he passed, wished for me that I be happy in my life. That I have happiness in life because he had figured out when he was facing death that that's all it was about. And at the time, um, I didn't, I didn't know what authentic joy really was. I was really good at putting joy out there as an extrovert. I'm really an extroverted homebody, but as an extrovert, I could put that energy out there. But it was for me at the time, it was desperation energy. It was seeking approval energy. It was having to get everyone to like me energy to pick me to cast me. To say yes to me, because I did not know how to say yes to myself. And so I had outsourced all of that love, approval, power, I just outsourced it. And I'll tell you, Hollywood, New York, it's not a good place to outsource your power to Hollywood. They're not a good system for re parenting. And giving us the love that we somehow felt like we needed more of. Um, so, you know, this, this show is in honor of my brother. And what I have discovered about, you know, fulfilling upon what he wished for me, this joy, and how do you do that truly, deeply, authentically. And so, And thank you for sharing that I occur to you that way And, you know, there's been such a transformation in finding congruency. That the outer and the inner, you know, come together is right now like my highest value. and it's, It's useful for me to be able to take in even what you just said and just be like, ah, I have for decades of my life not been able to take any of that in. I just kept hurting myself and harming myself and how could I have done that better and I messed that up and focusing, putting the blinders on the thing that didn't go well, the person that said no, the people that didn't like me or worse. And so it's like, I love having this conversation with you because it's like, the the radical, human ness and ups and downs of your experience that you're willing to share. And it's like, yeah, we're all going through it and talking to you. I feel just, I feel so comforted and just like less alone knowing that you have for 40 years been seeking your higher power, your best self, your gurus, your spirituality, your practices, You're pausing between stimulus and response. Like, I'm just right there with you and I'm amazed and excited and delighted to know that, yes, when we are, as you shared in the midst of the roller coaster and when it just all seems like utter chaos, that we can keep on. and set as you did as a young 20 something year old cab driver like the power of setting an intention, man, I'm just so present to that, because we're going to go through it and life is going to life and sometimes life is lifing like you get to a point you're like, I don't know if I can take more life. And then it just keeps lifing. And then there's just more. life is lifing non stop. And it's, uh, it's a gift and a, just an honor to be in your presence, to know that you have managed to, you know, take life as it lifes and be like, let's, let's go, let's go. Cause it's worth it. And it matters to make the world a better place. And it matters to, allow myself the grace to, yeah, I'm going to watch TV for two hours and I'm not going to meditate because, because, because, and allowing ourselves that grace. Because in the background, there is that intention. There is that intention. Like I'm not going to be stopped by fear. So what are you intending, Eric, for the next 50 years?

Eric S:

Hold on. I'm just, I'm just telling Sarah that she should pick up the kids because we're talking.

Robyn Cohen:

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Eric S:

Well, so this is classic, right? So this is, I think I can share. So this is like what I'm talking about. So she was going to get the kids. And then she just sent this. she just sent me, hey, I just realized I forgot the car seats. Can you please get them help?

Robyn Cohen:

Oh, Sarah, I love Sarah so much. I've had the joy of sitting with Eric and Sarah for dinner in New York City. She's the best.

Eric S:

We're on a five minute clock now

Robyn Cohen:

we gotta Alright. Alright. So

Eric S:

I have a hard out now in, in five minutes.

Robyn Cohen:

Perfect. Okay. So we were just talking about, tell me what's on the horizon for the next 50 years.

Eric S:

So, well, to, to your question, so I don't, I, I think on a, on an overall, like I was talking about in my, in my, just like baseline, in my soul. I think I allow myself, um, compliments for a job well done. I think baseline deep within me. I think I do that. I think I, again, my higher self knows that there's a lot of people out there that have really gotten a lot from my creative work. Yes. I know that.

Robyn Cohen:

like literally it fills stadiums and stadiums of people. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah.

Eric S:

Right. And I know that even though I don't see them and can't really believe that's something I do know that so deep into my soul, I know that, and that makes me feel good because I only ever wanted to help people and make people feel good about all of us. That's like the only thing I ever wanna do. And so why, and that's why I'm so hurt when people say that's not what I'm doing and that it's not their experience of me. Like that's why it hurts so much. Cause I care so deeply about wanting to just make everyone feel good about all of us. It's your highest

Robyn Cohen:

value. It's your value. Yeah. It's your highest value. 100%.

Eric S:

Well, that's why I'm so hurt when, uh, for whatever reason, that's not the experience. And again, I get people aren't going to like it, don't think I'm funny, don't like it. they're not your

Robyn Cohen:

people. They're not your people. There's 8 billion people on the planet. But

Eric S:

whatever, it's fine. And there's nothing wrong with them. Of course. There's nothing wrong with me for, for liking one thing and not the other.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah.

Eric S:

But I'm just saying why I get so hurt when it's so like angry and mean spirited is because it's hard for me to know, Hey, it's not about, it's so about them. And they're just saying. a mirror to themselves, they should just be like the work of Byron Katie, like anyone who doesn't know Byron Katie, like that's, that's the be all and end all, right? It's never used to turn it off. How am I like that? And all good spiritual? They all say that.

Robyn Cohen:

Yeah. And is it really true? Is it really true? 100%? I'd be absolutely sure that it's true that everybody can I be absolutely 100 percent sure beyond a shadow of a doubt. No, I can't because I'm not God.

Eric S:

And also, so they shouldn't say that to me. And you turn around, I shouldn't say this to them. They shouldn't say mean things to me. Well, I shouldn't say mean things to them. They're allowed to say what they want. They're, they're a human being. They have the, they're allowed their opinion. So, so anyway, that is like, you know, So I do allow myself that to know,

Robyn Cohen:

and can experience your wholeness, your value.

Eric S:

to, what I have to fight against is going down the rabbit hole of regret and sadness that, that more people aren't able to see my work because of just stuff. Not me, not getting stuff shows picked up and movies being made and stuff. So I have to protect against. Going down a pity party of, Oh, I've failed in my life, you know, and instead look at, well, wait, I'm still in rarefied air. Uh, one millionth of a percent of people ever got to make one movie that they, they ached to make, you know? So trust me, like I get it. I'm very lucky, but I'm also hate to lose and I'm very competitive and, and, and I feel that if more people could see this stuff, they'd like it. So like, I allow myself that, you know, I'm working on the animals project. I think what I'm going to do is make it into a comic book.

Robyn Cohen:

Brilliant. Okay. You heard it here. You heard it here, y'all. Yeah, yeah, We're gonna make it

Eric S:

into a comic book and then hope it gets traction as a comic book graphic novel to then become a series.

Robyn Cohen:

Oh, that's so good. So

Eric S:

that's what we're trying to do. Okay.

Robyn Cohen:

All right. With that, Eric, if people want to find you, And get in touch with you and talk creatively. How might they do that? Not on social media?

Eric S:

Well, you know, I do have a, a YouTube page. I did a bunch of poker videos, which we didn't talk about funny poker videos. I think some of my movies are on there.

Robyn Cohen:

Okay. I think

Eric S:

on Vimeo, I have a public Vimeo page.

Robyn Cohen:

Okay. Okay. So

Eric S:

someone went on YouTube and like poked around and said, Eric Schaeffer, YouTube. They come to like an Eric Schaeffer page, and I think they could like comment on something and forgive me if you do. And I don't get back to you right away. Cause I don't really check it a lot. I'll like check and see somebody wrote me three months ago and say, you know, I'm your biggest fan from Venezuela. I'm like,

Robyn Cohen:

right. Well, you have to pick up your kids as you do right now. You had to pick up your kids or you would have, you would have replied.

Eric S:

hopefully My ramblings didn't look like, you know, get, I think I'm on cancelable. I I got canceled before any get canceled, so I, I don't know that I can get canceled.

Robyn Cohen:

No, the universe won't allow for it. I love you. I love you and I, again, the f this is the first of what I hope will be a series of you and me on this show. Well,

Eric S:

I would love that. And, um, because it's the only time I get to talk to you, but, and that by next hour I would. Why not all about your life?

Robyn Cohen:

that next time. Yeah, we're going to swap stories.

Eric S:

We'll be asking you all these questions because your audience. Needs to hear all about you. And so I'm, I'm uniquely qualified to ask questions about you because I've known you for, for 25 years. Alright? It's on. I love

Robyn Cohen:

you so much. Thank you so much. I'm out. I gotta get the kids. This is phenomenal. I'll hug your children for me, hug your bride, and here's a hug for you, which was to my MacBook Air, but I mean it for you specifically. Thank you so much. This is such a blessing.

Eric S:

I'm gonna call you right now to download. I can't wait. Okay. I'm scared. Like publish any of this anyway.

Robyn Cohen:

All right. All right. Love you too. Thank you, Eric. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you wonderful ones for joining me on this electric joy ride with Eric Schaeffer. Wow. Today's convo really demonstrated the immense potential within all of us and the monumental power we have to chase, to reach and to live out our dreams. Let's keep this incredible taxi cab driver to TV celebrity success story going by supporting Eric's breakthrough project acting like animals. Visit his Kickstarter preview page acting Like Animals. a comic book series about a darkly funny dystopian world where animals are in charge and humans are the animals. Just click the Notify Me on Launch Button on the page. And when it launches early May, you'll be among the first to snag a copy of the comic book and join the Acting Like Animals Community. speaking of resplendent phenom communities, don't forget to email me to save your spot. For the free introductory acting class happening online Tuesday, April 1st at 6:00 PM Pacific. Just email Robyn@cohenactingstudio.com. It's all in the show notes. Whether you're just getting started or revisiting the craft, I promise you're gonna come away with acting technique nuggets you can take to the bank. speaking of good banking practices, don't miss out on the early bird pricing for the upcoming six week acting workshop. Launching April 8th online and in person. if you are SVP by April 1st, you're receiving a hundred dollars off the workshop. So if you're called to dive in, grab a spot stat, and I can't wait to see you in class. And last but not least, after all of this high octane action for a daily dose of calm and ease, Check out my free audio guide in the show notes, five Proven Practices to Peace and Power in under seven minutes. Well, Thank you sports fans for tuning in and if you got something out of today's episode, follow the show, subscribe, and even better. Share it with someone who you can just feel needs to hear it. And if you have a sec feel free to leave a review Apple podcasts so we can spread some more smiles and amplify this growing community of thriving artists. Cannot wait to continue the convo on the next daily joy ride. See you there.